Thursday, November 24, 2011

Young love (part 1)

From a young, female reader:
So, I think that I was very close to someone who is a sociopath, but I'm not sure. I'm writing to you seeking closure on this issue. We haven't spoken in over a year, and I'm still reeling from, what I perceive to be, abuse. I loved her, and still love her very much, despite everything that she has done to me.

She had a very abusive childhood-her mother is a narcissist and her father, while brilliant (he's a professor at Cornell), seemed to have Asperger syndrome. When we first met, she was a bit strange. She seemed to be observing me, rather than interested in friendship. In fact, one of the first time we hung out, I fell asleep for two hours. And she just watched me.

She would follow me around-and I was dealing with some very deep personal issues at the time-so, I didn't mind. It seemed to be a comfort, if that makes any sense. Soon enough, we became very close friends at a boarding school in NY. She didn't hang out with very much people-in fact, only me and one other friend. Many people suspected that she liked me-and I couldn’t deny the possibility of this to myself, but I certainly did to everyone else-it was too strange.

Well, one night, I asked her if she did have a crush on me. She looks away for a minute, and then looks back at me, replying that no, she didn’t. Venturing further, I asked her if any of the issues I had told her about were at all important to her. She then replied no. Becoming anxious, I asked her if she cared about anything. She looked at me dead on, with empty, eerie eyes. "No."

I felt hurt and angry that I had opened myself up to her. How could she have used me like that? I expressed these feelings to her, and she insisted, unflinchingly, that she still did not care. The next day, I went back to her, and she insisted on holding me for a little bit in exchange for getting the answer I wanted. After precisely ten minutes, she admitted that she was in love with me...but that she still didn't care about me. I felt so many mixed emotions. I told her that that's not possible. She either loved me and cared, or didn't care at all and therefore, didn't love me. But never having been in a situation remotely like this before, I chose to believe the former, rather than the latter. I wanted to be loved and I needed the support I felt that that could provide. Not to mention the fact that I wanted to solve this problem. I wanted to show her she was wrong, that she could care about something or someone.
Overtime, we became very close. We spent every moment together. When we were together it was perfect, like floating on a cloud. I never wanted to be with anyone else or spend my time with anyone else. For her, it was even worse. She would wait anxiously while I was in the shower, and hated being apart from me. She was very vocal about this too.

As much as we couldn't seem to get away form one another, there were tons of fights. She would call me names, press boundaries (sexually and emotionally-she would read my dairy, go through my papers, just violate my privacy completely). When we were in fights, I felt like I was being abandoned. Even when I had done nothing wrong, she would make me feel like i was the culprit of all of our problems. Moreover, she seemed moody and strange to everyone else. People always warned me to stay away from her-they claimed she was dangerous, crazy, dishonest, mean and horrible. Even teachers would warn me against her. When she was in a bad mood, or angry, she would lash out completely.

But when she was ok, she seemed to be the perfect match for me. She would call us soul mates, saying I was her other half, that she couldn't function without me, needed me and that I was the only person who could make her care. She told me she would love me forever, even if we ever broke up and that she could never feel the same around or about anyone else.

Eventually , I came to his point where I couldn't stand the idea of life without her, but i would ask myself this: "Why is it that I can't stand my life as it is, now, with her?" I decided better the devil I know than the one I don't. Don't get me wrong...I was completely in love with her.

So I stayed.

214 comments:

  1. So far, she doesn't seem like a sociopath. Where is her extreme arrogance? Her callousness? I don't think she's one. Good story though.

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  2. I kept hearing a beeping noise while reading that.

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  3. If you want to fix something in a relationship, you're already in the wrong position. Sounds like fairly standard abusive relationship territory.

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  4. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9suaVDI0Jw&feature=related'>David yesterday</a>

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  5. sounds like the crazy bitch to me the schizo phrenic or possibly the borderline, maybe both

    ya need to cut her off man move on with your life

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  6. i overlooked it was a lesbian thing at first sorry about that but the point remains the same ya gotta dump her shes no good for ya a lot of bats out there trust me just waiting for ya

    i once dated the schizo phrenic it lasted for two months she was crazy i only saw her sober twice when i dumped her it was like dumping a shit i felt relieved

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  7. Most of my facades are counter to my actual nature, even when I'm 'close' to that person. It's even easier when I'm their lover for some reason. Probably more exciting/higher payoff.

    Typically Narcissitic women are much easier to spot than sociopath women. It's almost like the latter is a rare commodity in relation to research.

    I'm really on the fence about being for/against Sociopathic Partner relationships in the abstract, but there are certain things that should be considered deal breakers.

    -Physical Abuse, Rampant Cheating, Theft, Public Displays of Disrespect, and not (eventually) respecting your most valued bounderies.

    If your partner is breaking any of those with no signs of letting off, you are in a shitty situation.

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  8. oh yes and she was a bullshitter too even more pathological than me seemed emotionless had felonies for drunk driving somebody might think sociopathic but i knew it was something else she was too strange

    afterwards somebody told me she was the schizo phrenic she was put in early retirement from work had been in the institution so trust me i know what im saying we are dealing with the schizo phrenic here

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  11. Heh, you're a creep but that made me laugh.

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  12. Nice shirt Dave. Brooks Brothers is one of my favorite brands.

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  13. A visual of David. My, my. I pictured David, differently, more gay, no offense.









    wv harv

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  14. This chick wasn't a sociopath. She's Borderline. And a low-functioning one at that.

    She doesn't love you for you, she loves you for her.

    Over emotional, clingy, explosive, the blame games, the desperation, the engulfment, the lack of boundaries, paranoid suspicion, making you believe all the problems caused were your fault (this particular brand of manipulation), volatile and moody, eccentric... need I go on?

    We can make you bring you the highest heights of heaven and drown you in the deepest hell. It's what we do.

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  15. "I kept hearing a beeping noise while reading that."

    Medusa you're amazing, haha.

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  16. Make a video after you see a therapist. I'd be interested to know what they say. Tell them not to be afraid to diagnose you a sociopath.

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  17. @Haven

    Can't narcissists be be all of those? Very explosively angry and controlling. They have no empathy though.

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  18. Narcissists are much more scary than a borderline. Borderlines have a heart.

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  19. Sure, narcissists can be. She certainly fits a lot of the narc profile. Except...

    Narcissits have an ego that they need to have constantly stroked. They need to be the center of attention and receive as much validation as they can find. This chick didn't hang out with almost anyone, didn't try to seek the attention of anyone, except the object of her affection. That's my tip off here that while she may have narc tendencies she doesn't quite fit.

    Also, narcs don't love you, they love themselves, they just love the validation they get from you. They don't love you or care about you. Borderlines love, we love intensely... we care but not in way other people want or understand. Our motivation is not about you, it's about receiving your love in return for what we do. We may love you, but we don't care what you want or need as long as we have the love we're looking for. And we'll do anything we have to get it.

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  20. @ THE PSYCHOPATH NEXT DOOR website says: "In the romance department, psychopaths have an ability to gain your affection quickly, disarming you with words, intriguing you with grandiose plans. If they cheat you'll forgive them, and one day when they've gone too far, they'll leave you with a broken heart (and an empty wallet). By then they'll have a new player for their game."

    Derek Wood Says:
    "People with this disorder appear to be charming at times, and make relationships, but to them, these are relationships in name only. They are ended whenever necessary or when it suits them, and the relationships are without depth or meaning, including marriages. They seem to have an innate ability to find the weakness in people, and are ready to use these weaknesses to their own ends through deceit, manipulation, or intimidation, and gain pleasure from doing so."

    Mirror has a two face. I am currently seeing the other face w/my marriage. It is not fun. My two cents for your post "Stay where you are now. Do not fool yourself, please."

    Take Care

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  21. @Haven

    So the narcissist cares too much about their image to get too attached to a person? Or to show affection?

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  22. Let me see. The borderline sees the relationship in terms of what she can do for you. The narcissist on what you can do for him?

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  23. On the contrary, narcs can get attached and show affection. But it's hollow. They'll do these things because it has the affect of earning more praise from that person. It's not about love, it's about having their identity and value elevated. The underlying motivation is different.

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  24. I've heard that bpd is sort of the opposite of npd.

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  25. @Anon 5:56.... That's part of the way there. Narcs definitely view relationships in terms of what you can do for him. Beauty is only skin deep... and that's fine as long as everyone can see the mirror.

    Borderline relationships also tend to be about what another person can do for them... but yes, there is that aspect of reciprocity because, while the narc just wants to be adored, the borderline wants to be consumed. She wants the other person to love her (so she'll do anything for that person), but she also wants to love in return... the emotional experience is genuine and intense, but volatile.

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  26. NPD and BPD are not opposite. Just different.

    The thing that stuck out for me was the "I'm in love with you but I don't care about you" thing.

    Desperation and self-preservation battling it out.

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  27. Narcissists have built-in grandiosity. This is a defense against their feelings of inadequacy and inferiority, which triggers their compulsion to rescue, fix, teach and train others. They automatically presume to know what others are thinking and feeling, and can come across as absolute authorities on various topics. A Narcissist loves to tell you what you're feeling, rather than asking about it, which can be infuriating for anyone. Borderlines have such a fragile sense of Self to begin with, they'll usually act-out their frustration with the Narcissist's 'Mr. Know-it-all' defenses by retreating or raging. He may regard her as explosive or crazy, but he's the one who's unwittingly lit her fuse. His ongoing need to be in the one-up position and exert control, forms the basis of many conflicts and struggles with this couple. The sad reality is, he has observed these traits in his narcissistic parent, and has emulated them.

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  28. @Medusa... I agree complete. It's a constant battle that's usually lost by everyone invovled.


    NPD and BPD are more like different sides of the same coin. The coin is self-worth. The different sides are how that narc/borderline validate their self-worth.

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  29. Haven and Medusa. Spot on. Also Note.

    I would advise her to keep on her educational track of what animal she is dealing with.

    Then to respect that animal.

    "I decided better the devil I know than the one I don't." is not respect, it's surrender into its clutches.
    The 'trap' is then you are eaten. Your friends and observers see the truth.

    Question to the poster "What part of you attracted such a complicated mirror such as this friend?"

    It's best to know how "you" are fed by the entanglement.

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  30. "I'm in love with you but I don't care about you" thing.

    No, we try to own this but it is a lie.

    We will not admit we care about you if there is a perceived or realistic possibility of being abandoned. I know this because I MARRIED someone. I married someone for the sole reason that I knew he would never abandon me. His family background and values told me this. But I disrespected him in my head. He was too good to me and had white night syndrome. I hated him for having to hide. When I broke with him told him it was permanent unless I suffered too much emotionally. You bet we know it's all about us. He is now with a woman who is using him to have a proper father figure to her daughter. Her father raped her. She knows all to well the value of goodness. He is quite comfortable being her white night. They go for healing sessions together *rolls eyes* She actually says she is a bitch! It is sad. He asks me for advice. I hold back from telling him he is a fool, as he will willingly admit he is one so ...

    We are aware of our dynamic. It is possible to trust but that notion is elusive.

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  31. "But when she was ok, she seemed to be the perfect match for me. She would call us soul mates, saying I was her other half, that she couldn't function without me, needed me and that I was the only person who could make her care. She told me she would love me forever, even if we ever broke up and that she could never feel the same around or about anyone else."

    LOL How dramatic!

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  32. SOUL MATES are a dime a dozen, love can be cultivated and there are enough complicated people out there to shadow dance with.

    Except when you meet one. Then it's like cosmic target practice with submachine guns. Then you are over your head.

    You know, the one who has the right kind of crazy to go with your crazy. That is why self-development and self-awareness have a generous payoff. It changes who you attract. Because you have tamed and cultivated your little creature. And it helps to end and to deal difficult entanglements.

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  33. Like the sociopath, we need boundaries, not permission to bulldoze.

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  34. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P52OmUewi9U

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  35. "Like the sociopath, we need boundaries, not permission to bulldoze."


    Truth. I don't have boundaries. I don't have a sense of when to tell people to back off or that something isn't ok (more accurately I may feel something is off but I won't know if I should express this for fear of offending/losing the other person... or I'll just get angry and explode because they should already know better. There's really no logic here, but my sense of 'boundaries' is non existent and is entirely dependent on how I feel in the moemnt).

    I had to teach myself how to recognize boundaries in other people but it's something I have to actively think about and work on. My gut reaction is to say what I want and do what I want without restraint, but that only leads to trouble. It's not easy holding my tongue and appearing calm when I want to let go. Especially when the other person has set no rules for what they want or expect. If you let me guess, I'll probably guess wrong. If you never say, I'm ok with this, I'm not ok with this, we do whatever we want to do without thought that it can have negative repurcussions. If you don't say stop, we'll keeping taking until you're all used up.

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  36. Haven, let's say you had a sister around the same age as you, would you take her clothes and wear them without asking her? I did that with my brothers clothes all the time. He has a good fashion sense, similar to mine. He was too afraid to confront me about it (I bullied him)

    As a kid I'd sit up with the light on all night, playing video games while he was trying to sleep. I never cared for his well being.

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  37. My younger sister used to steal my clothes all the time. I was the one with (a rather unique) fashion sense. I'd beat the crap out of her when I caught her stealing my clothes. It made me furious and I had no control over my temper.

    I'd do whatever I felt like doing regardless of what anyone else wanted.

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  38. Lol. My brother is terrified of me. I get the feeling that he hates me, but whenever someone started trouble with me he would strongly defend me. Stockholm syndrome? It's weird considering I never helped him with anything.

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  39. I never had a sense of family loyalty. I don't really care what happens them. Everyone has a family. What makes mine special?

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  40. I'm fiercely loyal to my family. Especially my sister. No one else is allowed to fuck with my family. They're mine to fuck with. At least that's how it used to be.

    My relationship with my sister changed drastically one night when we bonded over our mental issues (she's bipolar, I'm BPD). Our entire relationship went from destructive to incredibly supportive and it's been that way ever since.

    I actually have very little attachment to my parents or brother. They're mine, but I'm in conflict with regards to them and tend to dissociate any real connection. I have no constancy when it comes to our relationships. My sister and I are very bonded though. She's one of the only people in this world that I am always connected to.

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  41. I'm the complete opposite, in terms of family loyalty. I'd get my friends to join in on abusing my mom, when I had them over. I neglected my sister to the extreme. When she said hello to me on the street I would ignore her.

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  42. "When she said hello to me on the street I would ignore her."

    LOL

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  43. Hello Frank How's it hanging?










    wv:harv

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  44. Don't even get me started on the pets! Those poor pets.

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  45. I have gas, Gary
    Hi Harv
    Hi Hank








    wv: harv

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  46. I am not a troll. That Frank person stole my identity. Fuck you, Frankfurt.








    wv: harv

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  47. My sister was raped in the past. I will never forget the time she asked me for support over the rape. I twisted her words and justified the rapist. I felt extremely strong after that, like I was invincible.

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  48. That article gave me the chills. I wonder what happened, after that. The writer described the feeling you have with the sociopath, perfectly, the meld of souls.

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  49. @monica

    this wasn't a sociopath relationship. you have no idea how truly vacant sociopaths are.

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  50. Anon 8:21

    I don't agree. I am totally hetero, but I have a relationship with a female sociopath and she is NOT vacant. She is different, yes.

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  51. i doubt that. how do you know she is one?

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  52. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  53. She was born without empathy. She was not abused.

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  54. "But when she was ok, she seemed to be the perfect match for me. She would call us soul mates, saying I was her other half, that she couldn't function without me, needed me and that I was the only person who could make her care. She told me she would love me forever, even if we ever broke up and that she could never feel the same around or about anyone else."

    Well damn, I guess I am borderline. I say this mess all the time to my sig other :(

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  55. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr_Mf1ANTVE

    You're being ridiculed by david in his new video ukan

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  56. David seems attracted to UKan. That seems fucked up to me. That shows that David will side with his abusers.

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  57. I think it's cute. I'd watch if they ever fornicated.

    wv: skillin

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  58. thats not sociopathic monica is she dosnt have emphaty she might be the schizo phrenic the schizoid if shes creepy maybe even the borderline but i dont know about that i once knew a chick who said she was diagnosed borderline and she didnt seem different to me just difficult

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  59. @Richard it is hard to wrap ones mind around the concept of empathy. What is it exactly? What does it look like in the real world i .e in practical terms? What does it feel like? What does it feel like/look like when you don't have it?

    I am honored to be able to find out, first hand. It is an honor and one to which I am most appreciative.

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  60. "but I have a relationship with a female sociopath"

    The only relationship you're having is with your imagination.

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  61. yes but ive read about this stuff a bit they say there is many disorders that lack emphaty the schizoid is one they are emotionless but otherwise harmless then there is the schizo phrenic they might be dangerous callous in some cases the main difference is they are crazy delusional they hear things that are not there think the cia or the aliens are out to get them

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  62. @Richard Schizoids are different. Sociopaths are engaged in life, to a much larger degree than schizoids. Google schizoids and you will see what I mean, Richard

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  63. @Monica

    Sociopaths are empathically handicapped.

    Empathy = A motivation oriented towards the other. A complex form of psychological inference in which observation, memory, knowledge, and reasoning are combined to yield insights into the thoughts and feelings of others

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  64. its easy to know what people are thinking or feeling usually just look at the body language it will reveal the truth

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  65. Most people aren't very aware of their own feelings let alone aware enough to interpret someone elses.

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  66. david wants to fuck misanthrope, he wants ukan to talk dirty to hin

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  67. I believe that Monica is talking about someone here.

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  68. So who's Monica's alter ID here?

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  69. You're being ridiculed by david in his new video ukan

    Really? It sounds more like he's hitting on me. He's going to need some botox, because I can hardly call that gap in his face lips.

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  70. Wow. For a guy who "genuinely doesn't care what other people think of him" Dave has gone to great lengths to prove himself. Why don't you make another video explaining that away, Dave?

    "david wants to fuck misanthrope"

    I wouldn't be surprised. He posted a whole load of weird sexual fantasies about me on the forum when it first started and I think he asked me out on a date before.

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  71. it's obvious for every moron he's just laughing at you ukan

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  72. Happy Turkey Day ! What are you ladies doing for Thanksgiving? I will be drinking champagne all day.

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  73. You both want to nail david..

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  74. I think he will make more videos. This is a better way for him to get his words across without the confusion of text. Not only that, but his need for attention is most definitely getting sated. Any attention, positive or negative, works for sad lonely pathetic attention whores.

    Medusa, what makes you think that chic is talking about someone here?

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  75. Awesome PMS, it's like a Ridley Scott version.

    (And not too far off, actually. Eerie.)

    I take it these are your creations?

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  76. Regarding the post, I like the story and I too see BPD written all over it. Twisted infatuation makes the best romance stories.

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  77. No, much as I'd like to take credit, that one's not mine. The artist is Chris Thornley. Maybe I'll start posting my own work sometime.

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  78. Haven, you seem off today. Your diction is odd. Are you off your meds/been skipping therapy? Guy problems?

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  79. Monica is Bluebird.

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  80. Mis is jealous of David.

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  81. TNP could be Monica. The cadence is similar.

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  82. Maybe, Monica is new.

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  83. Who the fuck cares?

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  84. What I find funny about this place is that there are so called sociopathic "regulars". Sociopaths by nature get bored easily. You'd think that a sociopath would get bored of this place before they received the title of "regular"

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  85. what's up faggots?

    neohitler always says: malicious 'paths will be wasted by the neohitler movement.

    further, neohitler takes aim at those the occupy movement takes aim, therefore the neohitler movement is a movement within a movement, analogous to special forces within a military.

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  86. Yeah, they love our incredible good sides but expect us to not have the equivalent opposite of that.

    Extremes don't come in strictly positives, just like the normal spectrum of somewhat good and somewhat not so good.

    Our "good" and "not so good" just happen to be incredibly, amazingly good and really, really bad.

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  87. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr_Mf1ANTVE

    the stare in david's eyes looks totally emotionless he's an absolute creep

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  88. @TNP ... Is it very noticeable? I've actually been missing my meds a bit lately but I'm getting back on them properly. And whenever I'm with a guy I have problems, but they're usually just in my head (at least at first).

    I'm just very preoccupied. Being home for me is rarely so good. Doesn't turn out well. Want to leave. Don't know how to make this turn out right.

    How are you?

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  89. tanner thats because we all fakes here

    fake wannabe killers haha

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  90. 'What I find funny about this place is that there are so called sociopathic "regulars". Sociopaths by nature get bored easily. You'd think that a sociopath would get bored of this place before they received the title of "regular"'

    Lolz. Yeh, there are no socios here. Just a bunch of wannabes. TNP included.

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  91. Speaking of meds Haven, I'm coming off mine. I'll be off them completely in about three weeks. God help me. I can't be arsed with them anymore tbh, they turn my head into jelly, I get terrible sort term memory. I want my old self back, regardless how hideous that may be. :D

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  92. @notme.. Hm... I've noticed my short term memory being a little fuzzier lately. Things just seem to not stick the way they used too. But in generally the meds I'm on now have been real good for me. I have plenty of energy and my moods have been both steadier and more pleasant without turning me into a zombie.

    The thing I miss though, is the creativity. I always feel much more creative, inclined to write, draw, and paint, when I'm not medicated. I'm trying to decide if the trade off is worth it.

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  93. i have a serious question here guys. Who here had a comfort blanket growing up? I did. haven, did you? Mine was a red scarf that I took everywhere. It went through the mill. My brother even deliberately toar it to pieces with the vacuum, but we stiched it up.

    So yeah. I want to know who had some kind of comfort blankie or toy they were really attached to. I mean, slept with it every night and hated when it got washed.

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  94. Some people who have been here have been true sociopaths. But they disappeared after a few weeks.

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  95. @notme... Yep, mine was yellow. I don't know where it is. I think my parents threw it away. Amusingly now, I hate everything that's yellow. My security blanket is my cat.

    i did a post a while back on transitional objects: http://downwardspiralintothevortex.blogspot.com/2011/06/security-blanket.html

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  96. Haven, don't get me wrong, i went on them for a very good reason, and yes, they helped i guess. But I'm with u on the creativity thing. I've personally just not benefited on the motivation front. It's almost like my anxiety was what motivated my productivity, and now, with the meds lessening the anxiety, the motivation has gone to. So, I'm gonna see how I do without them for a while. After all, I spent most my life without them. Should be interesting, nonetheless.

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  97. notme, yes! My anxiety seriously pushed me in directions that I feel I needed to be pushed, especially in terms of monitoring my eating. Anxiety actually has a functional purpose for people in general.

    What were you on?

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  98. @notme... Yep, mine was yellow. I don't know where it is. I think my parents threw it away. Amusingly now, I hate everything that's yellow. My security blanket is my cat.

    haha, my dad was very keen (for some reason, and I still don't know why) to get me to part with it. Apparently, it was my mums scarf she gave me when she went away for a while. And I kept it ever since.

    You hate everything yellow? Lol. that's funny. My scarf was red, and red is a favorite of mine in terms of clothes, lipstick, nails lol! Anyway, I'll check out that link, sounds interesting. :)

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  99. everyone in this comment string is a lonely old fuck. stop talking about eachother like faggotty little school girls.

    this sociopathic introspection is a joke. YOU'RE NORMAL, GODDAMNIT

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  100. I am the true sociopath. Everyone else here is a phony.

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  101. haven i'm on citalopram. I have a faint idea that the american name for it is lexapro or something, but not quite sure.

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  102. @Diana
    Let me guess, your talking about your precious Mania

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  103. Haven, it's up to you if you think the trade off is worth it. Ultimatetly, YOU'RE worth it, and if that means a few compromises here and there, as long as you're as content as you you're gonna be in a given situation, then it's worth it. It really depends on what drives you in the current time babe. :)

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  104. I like that the idea of sociopathic boredom is apparently both set in stone and fluid enough to support any argument.~

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  105. It seemed very obvious to me, Haven, but those kinds of things can sometimes be hard to read / easy to confuse through text.

    If there are no sociopaths here, and it's always boring, I have to ask myself why you keep coming back, notme. I don't buy it. I think you simply pine for SW the way it was when you first started participating, and are frustrated from the change.

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  106. I got the way to alleviate boredom----------show someone who you are. Sexual intimacy is a piece of cake compared to emotional intimacy, ime.

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  107. Lol TNP, What 'seems' to you is what I've stated myself very clearly. Yes, I liked the old SW, for certain reasons. But I adapt you know. What the hell is your point? Cos I'm not catching it.

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  108. If this place was boring I wouldn't be here. Nor would you notme. Yet here you are as usual still complaining. Typical batty female borderline.

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  109. Haven, that's so sweet about your cat. I can totally see why you have such a connnection with it. Is it a boy or girl?

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  111. I'll take that as a compliment, you arsehole. :) Oh and batty? Really? Well, maybe. But I kinda think that means I'm somewhat pychotic, which i'm not, as yet.

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  112. Ukan Selling His Body On The StreetNovember 24, 2011 at 1:20 PM

    Want a blow job? I don't do anal.

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  113. My point was abundently simple. So simple that I've forgotten it.

    :p

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  114. I think people like SW cuz it is a collection of fucking weirdos.
    Hi Sweet Cheeks









    wv: harv

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  115. 'My point was abundently simple. So simple that I've forgotten it'

    Well, that gets us nowhere. In which case, next time, refrain from actually responding to anything i say unless it has some proper conclusion. Thank you. Hope you've learned a lesson here tonight.

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  116. David shouldn't you be downing another pint with a handful of pills to live another unbearable day? I saw your video. I'm flattered that you would go to such lengths just to impress me. It gave me a whole lot more insight into your depression. How will you keep going in your career? You look like a turnip with beady eyes and a gash for a mouth with no lips. If someone was getting a blowjob from you they would need a washer between your mouth and their cock just to feel anything. I like how you have to explain everything including the complaints people made about you not having a shirt and how you looked like shite. You put on your sunday best to appease everyone today and guess what? You still look like shite.

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  117. Ukan you piece of shit, shut the fuck up for ONCE in your life. I personally could learn a heck of a lot more from David than I could from you, so just shut your mouth, go keep doing what the fuck you're doing and let's see where you end up in 3 years. Idiot.

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  119. Ha ha ha notme. Look at your basket case personality coming out. You are such a nutter. That weak fucking guy you took in your bed has no idea what he is in for. In three years you will have already killed his cat, broke his windows, keyed his car, stalked his new girlfriend, and fucked his best friend trying to make him jealous.

    wv:nutnega

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  120. lol good one Ukan. According to you, I can only hope... Oh, and fuck you.
    If i met you in real life, I'd show you what you are in the scheme of things hunny pie. <3

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  121. Are you really trying to tell me you are not depressed. You just talked about offing yourself just days ago. You have to drink yourself to sleep david and combine it with a narcotic just so you won't stay up late at night tossing and turning about the fact that you have no future

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  122. Don't listen to that Frank fuck tell you I am his friend.









    wv:hank

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  123. ya want to get proper labels for almost everyone ya ask ukan

    ya want to get proper labels for ukan and friends ya ask david

    and there ya go- proper labels for everyone life without a label is not worth living for everyone needs a label

    because everyone here is not only sociopathic we are also shrinks

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  124. Today's comments reminded me of my mom and sis, hard to decide who is who in terms of bpd and npd. Sis is always clingy and all of the above, and mom is playing the ultimate mom, always giving to her. Sis supposedly loves mom the most but literally does nothing for her, mom still cooks for her and even does her laundry. The rest of the siblings are far too independent and mom reads that as she is not loved as much by them. So, relative positioning is sis bpd, mom npd. But then, I look at the relative positioning of mom and grandma and there mom bod, grandma npd.

    Do you see similar patterns?

    Also, I typically eat as soon as I feel hunger. If I don't eat within an hour of feeling of hunger my personality changes, but I typically don't put myself in that position. My sis pretty much starves herself all day long. I have a cousin hwo is just like her, in bpd and not eating. Any thoughts on food and beeping? Do you eat proper meals throughout the day?

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  125. David, depression (especially chronic depression) can also manifest in form of flat. What do you expect normal depression symptoms to be?

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  127. Ukan, go do something WORTHWILE with your life, help some charity, learn about COMPASSION, i dunno, but just learn SOMETHING, cos your attempts at 'dissing' people are pretty feeble. Just saying. Up your game, in either direction hunny, cos either way, it's at play school level.

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  128. David, you got to fight back. If not, you will have Ukans fucking you until the day you die, and in the ass, buddy.

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  129. I am very curious to read Part 2 of today's post tomorrow.

    My mom and sis both have no boundaries. Sis used to wear my outfits without my permission and mom would not only facilitate that but also thinks I am evil for not letting sis wear my things. Only recently learned that mom used to steal her sis' clothes all the time when they were young. I had so well-defined boundaries very early on, found it very difficult to live with them. Left home at 19.

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  132. I understand discrediting other people's opinion. But, you are going through a period where you know you are far from your 100%. Your own opinions are more important in falling into depression. I feel depressed even when I have cold. I hate not being at my 100%.

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  133. I am getting to a point I want to go to some jail and meet some serious psychopaths. Curious folks, no?

    I have no idea how it works, though. Could I just go? Has anyone visited anyone at jail?

    David, if you ever kill someone I'll come visit you. You are the most likely to kill someone of all the ones on SW>

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  134. Ukan, go do something WORTHWILE with your life

    I should say the same to you. Here you are still reading thoughts and writings in a place you have called boring for months. You can't date anyone but a push over, because that is the only person that will put up with your emotional mess you call a personality.

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  135. Ukan Theme Song and it Ain't RockyNovember 24, 2011 at 2:40 PM

    Anonymous notme said...

    Ukan, go do something WORTHWILE with your life, help some charity, learn about COMPASSION, i dunno, but just learn SOMETHING, cos your attempts at 'dissing' people are pretty feeble. Just saying. Up your game, in either direction hunny, cos either way, it's at play school level.




    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qlA2l8tWoU

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  136. Listen ---SW's UKan is singing thisNovember 24, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qlA2l8tWoU

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  138. because you are not interested in developing a support system, you are fearless in terms of putting yourself out there, i can tell there is huge pressure from guys and girls towards a male prostitute, pushing away and away, prostitution is harder as one gets older. the easiest way you'd kill is if and when you are jailed for some minor offense and some moron made a bad move. you could kill without feeling a second's of remorse then. that is just one scenario.

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  139. Blogger davidsocio01 said...

    Don't take it too serious Gary, and don't worry for me.


    I agree with Scelli, with the exception of Harv. If you would lose control, it may prove fatal. I say this as someone who works in law enforcement, not to be cruel.

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  140. second's of remorse? bad english

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  141. I see Harv, Gary and Frank have dropped all pretence of being different people. And do you even know what "wv" means? Seems like all I'm good for these days is pointing out stuff like this...

    Oh, by the way; happy Thanksgiving y'all! Yeehaw! :)

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  144. I don't want to give too many details with the assholes that frequent this fine establishment. Let me say, I have 15 years to my name, buddy.

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  145. watched Scarface again, His wife's (young Michelle Pfeiffer) attack on him explaining how and why she would not have his baby was wild.

    David, was my remark upsetting? Was not trying to be.

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  146. And the cop in the Scarface... Are you that kind, Gary?

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  147. Frank, leave my name out of this.








    wv:harv

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  148. Just want to talk about the details of my work, sparingly. I am a good judge of character, though. I can say that. I agree with you about David.

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  151. I wanted to understand the sociopath. I have traits, but would not label myself a sociopath, although at one time I thought I was.

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  153. I can be anonymous, here. I can say what is on my mind and listen to some worthwhile things, but I don't take the stupid shit, like UKan, seriously.

    People take over my name when I am gone. I don't take that shit seriously, either lol

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  154. Gary, how does jail visit work? Can I just request to meet someone?

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  155. Also, is there a public web site where I can see who is in what jail and for what crime?

    This place is just not sufficient for my curiosity, not that I am complaining. I just need to supplement.

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  157. hahahaha, i would say 'nice one Ukan' if you weren't so off on that. I can date normals, psychos and narcs sadly. It's pretty easy being flexible y'know.

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  160. @Sceli I have seen a lot of holy rollers in the prisons. Other than that, I don't know how you would go about it. I am sure you could find it out with computer searches.

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  161. Did everyone have a good Thanksgiving.
    Hi Gary









    wv:harv

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  162. why'd you remove that compliment to me Sceli? Is it shameful or something? K. I get it.

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  163. @David

    you're kind of cute but much more conservative looking than i had imagined.

    delete the videos now :)

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  164. notme, what are u referring to?

    kind of spooky.

    notme said...
    why'd you remove that compliment to me Sceli? Is it shameful or something? K. I get it.

    November 24, 2011 5:03 PM

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  165. Uuuugggh... just got back from a long day at holiday with the family. Hate this time of year.


    @notme... my cat is a boy. Only boy I'll ever trust, haha.

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  166. Haven, what's your opinion on men? I've read a few of your comments and I have noted that you have seem to have little trust in men. How do you feel?

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  167. Oogoli... in a nutshell... Some men are fun to play with but none are trustworthy. That doesn't stop me from getting involved with one from time to time, but you'll never convince me they have my best intentions in mind.

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  168. I don't trust woman lol

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  169. Eh, women aren't so bad. With them I just get more drama, with the exception of my narc ex. No one beat his drama level.

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  170. This place has me thinking about the self. You can have it ALL, like Princess Di and not have a solid self, and you have nothing.

    When I think about "normal" people I know and those who are in tons of pain, what is the difference? It is the self, how they reference it?

    You can be inches away from freedom, peace, but those inches will kill you. Those inches could put you in the grave, but if you could scoot over a bit, there would be the oasis.

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  171. haven, tell us more about your ex. he sounds like a douche.

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  172. SW -

    100 wannabes
    50 aspies
    30 beepers
    1 narc
    2 socios

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  173. My ex is a douche. Malignant narc. What else is there to say. He's a waste of typing time.

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  174. what harrowing experiences have you had, with him?

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  175. Anon 7:19
    LOL

    Haven
    What is a Mal Narc, in your experience? Are they sadistic if they don't get built up?

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  176. Sounds like a pretty accurate breakdown, anon.

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  177. I wont try to convince you otherwise, Haven :) I ask because I can relate to your attitude and it reminds me of me.

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  178. "only 1 narc?"

    there can only be one narc.

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  179. Haven, do u think u can tell the difference between a male narc and a male borderline? I ask cos i met a guy who just 'seemed' like an amalgam of both BPD and NPD. If it helps at all I'll just say he was insane. Tolerable only by saints ie. me. :) LOL.

    Disclaimer: i love my ex. so, no harm intended.

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  180. OK I will bite. Who is the Narc?












    wv: fucknarc

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  181. well in my narc i noticed small things. like when he would look in any mirror he would get this haughty heir. he would stand at the mirror smiling and winking at himself.

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  182. i barely groom myself! i'm codependent and i feel guilty when i do.

    he'd tell me not to look in the mirror, because i was being vain, or he would sarcastically say something like "finally getting some confidence are you?" then laugh.

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  183. What is the meaning of life?

    Simple.

    The meaning is cock.

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