Thinking too much of oneself

One of the funnier reactions that people I know personally have had about the publication of the book is to re-evaluate our shared time together and impugn nefarious motives to our otherwise benign interactions. Some have suggested (wrongly) that I must have been trying to seduce them. Some believe that I was using them for some otherwise unremarkable and talent or interest of theirs -- using them for their extensive knowledge of French noir films, perhaps, or for their accordion skills? It's funny because almost in every case, their accusations are based on some inflated view of their own worth, desirableness, or even of my interest in them as a person. I say this not to be insulting. No one can be everything to everyone, but for some reason a lot of people have arrived independently at the conclusion that they must be the equivalent of catnip to me? Although I admire their megalomania (unless it's paranoia?), I have a lot of interests that take up a lot of my time. I couldn't possibly seduce or exploit everyone I meet.

This overestimation of one's usefulness or desirability reminds me of one of my favorite scenes from a favorite actress (last line):

Fun seduction idea?

One of my work acquaintances has apparently been ostracized by a mutual friend of ours because the fiancée thought that she dressed like a whore at a Halloween party and was worried that her man would stray because of it?  (My impressionable self has picked up inappropriately placed question marks from reading Twitter feeds).

I want to mess with her, but mainly just because she has revealed a weakness (relationship insecurity) that seems too delicious to pass up.

My plan is to "confess" to her in a simulated drunken overshare.  I'll tell her that I have often wondered if I could "also" seduce her fiancé.  Depending on how much she has had to drink and her current level of paranoia, I may have to wait just a bit to let that thought have its full effect on her (which given his varied and prodigious sexual history should be a pretty easy sell).   After she has let that marinate for a while, I will then try to seduce her myself while she is (hopefully) vulnerable from the thought that her fiancé is cheating on her with all of his smarter-than-she-is-work-friends.

Thoughts?

I think chances of it succeeding are pretty low, but chances of it increasing her insecurity are pretty good if she's so thrown off by a Halloween party "sexy third world slave" outfit, that's she's basically prohibited him from ever seeing this woman again.  (I wasn't there and there apparently isn't any photographic proof of whether or not a third world slave costume could be considered "sexy" without seeming really grossly imperialistic and in poor taste -- this is just what I've been told).

The criminal element

A reader writes:

I discovered I was a sociopath only several days ago. It took me 30 years of self-introspection. Finding you site finally connected me to something. I'm not sure what it means exactly that I've finally been realized by myself, but it's calming. I am not a criminal and have rarely been involved with the law on any level. I also have no craving to break the law. I DO have a craving not to go to prison, so that's probably part of it. I do not wish to psychologically harm others, but I do. Why am I not a criminal? I fit every exact thought and description of a sociopath, yet I do not commit crimes.

I find myself wishing there was a person who could help study us without being motivated by the fact that they need to be scared of us and that sociopath = criminal.

My response:

I think that sociopaths naturally exploit what is easiest to exploit. If a sociopath was born on a farm, maybe he would become a farmer. If his parents were academics, maybe he would become a scholar. If he was born on skid row, he would probably become a criminal. He would recognize that he has a natural advantage in a particular world and try to exploit that natural advantage. I have never been interested in being a career criminal, but I also don't have the sorts of connections or advantages that would lend themselves for that type of life for me. Instead, it has been much easier for me to play the racket that is the highly intelligent, consultant type role. People want me to tell them what their problem is, and that is easy and interesting enough to engage me. There is no pull to break the law just because it happens to be the law -- I get no particular thrill from breaking a law, just from the inherent interest of the activity itself. If I do break the law, it just happens without regard to the law.

I also wish that there were more people studying so called successful sociopaths.