Sunday, November 13, 2011

Fencing: A sociopath sport?

Im considering taking up fencing, based on the following from the Wikipedia article:
At the most basic level, fencing revolves around the opening and closing of various lines of attack and defense. In order for one fencer to hit, the other must make a mistake and leave an "opening." Fencing tactics rely on a mixture of "open-eyes" opportunism and deliberate "set-ups", where the opponent is systematically fed false information about one's own intentions.

251 comments:

  1. I fenced for many years. That's a pretty good description of fencing. Not sure I met any identifiable sociopaths, though it did (like many individual sports) seem attract some self-centered types. As far as things go, this is a pretty productive (and healthy) way to vent a desire to dominate others.

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  2. I've done martial arts for 9 years and spent 4 of them teaching. The training you learn to fight and depend yourself is seen as useful to almost everyone, and it is. Learning how to really fight teaches you exactly what you said - opening and closing defenses in your opponent.

    It is very easy for that training to go from physical strategy in a fight to mental strategy in dealing with social situations.

    Had it not have been for taking up martial arts and being able to use my training of my body to also train my actions, I would mostlikely have ended up going the route that gives sociopaths a bad name.

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  3. That reminds me of The Specials - Ghost Town. One of my all time favorites.

    Tennis in my opinion is a better sport. No silly costumes, plenty of mind games, and enough room for skill and Brute Force to give you the satisfaction of dominating someone when you aren't outsmarting them.

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  4. Hm. My husband and I play tennis. Maybe that's why I don't enjoy tennis with him. For him its always about domination, and I have a more lax and amusational approach to sports... I enjoy the game, not so much the ownership aspirations.

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  5. SW's resident poltergeistNovember 13, 2011 at 2:57 AM

    *knock knock*

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  6. Missus, you make breadpudding? Doesn't that make you have a fat ace?

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  7. Saw the ex tonight.

    The shakes weren't bad but when my friend turned to me and said, "just so you know, J__ is here," my body temperature rose a good 20 degrees.

    Too bad I stoled all his friends so he had no one to talk to.

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  8. Yeah, it's difficult for me to hold back even when it's casual. My old man actually coached it and a few other associated jobs with the sport. He always had more self-control than me, but was a damn fool to a fault at times.

    Working out at the gym doesn't help me to blow off steam like it seems to for most people, but a good game can sometimes. I like how accessible and cheap it is to play now. Sure, lessons aren't cheap but pretty much anyone can play nowadays.

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  9. And the topic:

    Same as any other sport.

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  10. I have been studying M.E's articles on the self. I have been trying to ascertain how the self feels to a sociopath, if you can us that term. I think the subject matter of the self relates to everyone, as it is who we are, and all we have, in the end. I am here to learn. I don't care to be involved in the horseplay that goes around, on here. I have enough drama in my real life, as a flight attendant, as you can imagine.

    I appreciate the artciles, ME. I appreciate good dialogue on them, too.

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  11. Monica is Zwank 2.0

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  12. Monica is Bluebird. She writes the same.

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  13. No she doesn't.

    Erin is to Puzelle as Monica is to Zwang.

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  14. Monica is Wheatley.

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  15. This identity stuff is stupid shit.

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  16. Yes, it is stupid shit. Grow up, UKan.

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  17. I've taken the time to write down all this personal stuff on the forum under the topic 'socipaths read here'.

    Now give me attention and give me your amateur diagnoses.

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  18. To Ukan SW's Low Functioning Sociopath



    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qlA2l8tWoU

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  19. Perfect UKan theme song he he

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  20. Fencing, a socio sport? Nah, too many rules.

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  21. I like cock, cock, cock.

    So don't you block, block, block.

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  22. @David

    i read your bio. your interest in understanding yourself reminds me very much of members of my own family and their obsession with understanding themselves. this is narcissism. they would joke about being narcissists.

    with respect to the sociopath label, i think if you were a sociopath, it would either instantly "click" and/or be irrelevant.

    in a nutshell, if you wrote all that stuff because you're trying to figure yourself out or need the attention, it's likely narcissism. if you wrote it as bait because you're trying to draw others out, it could be sociopathy.

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  24. @Zoe
    I wrote it to draw attention.

    I cannot say I wrote it to understand myself, as I guess I understand myself pretty well. For a long time I thought I thought it was possible I was a narcissist but after a lot of introspection I came to the conclusion that I'm likely a sociopath.

    There are many overlappings between narcissists and sociopaths, and sociopaths are highly narcissistic.

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  25. Hello Beautiful Cheeks Ukan is not Frank. I would never do that to you, Sweet. Frank is himself.

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  26. HOW are socios narcisstic if they don't care what people think? Explain please, David.

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  27. @Zoe

    My family on my mother's side is obsesses with who looks like whom. It get's on my nerves. For some reason the women in particular are obsessed with the children looking like only the mother's side. Whenever I say that my eldest daughter looks a lot like her father, they get pissy about it and tell me she is identical to me. Until I read what you just said about your family, I couldn't figure out why they act like that.
    They get it from my mother who, when you're doing really well as I have been this year... then you're the only daughter who takes after her. When you're fucking up all the time... then you take after your worthless father, and are ostracized.

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  28. @anon
    Needing attention and overestimating oneself doesn't necessarily mean you truely 'care' about other's opinion.

    The narcissistic characteristics are in all the diagnostic criteria lists of sociopathy, so ...

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  29. David, from reading your story, i'm not surprised that you're fighting depression today (Not trying to insult). It sounded like a very lonely existence...Between sleeping with lonley, crippled, old men and travelling with no one close to contact (family/friends) and battling financial issues, I felt depressed FOR you. Then of course, your parents ligering dissapointment at your sexuality and the bullying...

    I can see now why you want to visit a shrink..But I feel that your reasons for wanting to visit a shrink are a cover up for the real reasons..You've regocnised that the pressure is getting on top of you, you're living in fear of next legal/financial issue and you have spent most of your life alone seemingly...Some people can certainly handle that type of life style with only but a little struggle...I don't feel that you can handle it..I think maybe you feel that you were never giving a proper chance..When you skipped classes and slacked in your school work and realised that getting ino college would be difficult, you wanted someone o give you a chance regardless of a little paper that marks your progress..One can have the tools without the proper teaching.

    The repetitive counting of things and pressing switches washing hands, etc, sounds like OCD. I have a brother with OCD and he does most of these things and more.

    You seem to be desperate for someone to talk to...Telling your whole story in the forum, wishing to talk to a shrink, lonely life style, etc. It seems you would ceratinly benefit with support and if you could make at least one close contact with someone that you could talk to, your tension would decrease significantly but certainly not completely..

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  30. @David

    what is striking about your story is the background role your family takes in your life. yet you went to the trouble to describe the intelligence levels of your parents and grandparents.

    the recurring theme that keeps popping up in your posts is how sophisticated you are. i don't think accepting your gayness is an issue for you. your problem is that you are smarter than your parents, and with that evolved your belief that you are smarter than the world. and you probably are more intelligent than most people around you.

    my impression is that you are ashamed of your background. you realized you were different at a very early age, and you never developed a sense of belonging or roots.

    because you never had to really work for anything, you are also a little bit lazy. rather than work for it, you want it easy and fast.

    your lifestyle is indeed sociopathic, and your attitude narcissistic. but i have to wonder if what drives you is an empath's shame?

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  31. @Took Took
    The first part of your analysis is pretty accurate.

    You wrote; "I think maybe you feel that you were never giving a proper chance."

    That's not the case. On the contrary, I had so many chances after the age of 18. Being able to start businesses, being able to go to college. Never really finishing something and throwing tons of money out of the window, never planning ahead and always living for the moment (I guess very typical sociopathic).

    I guess my biggest problem for the moment is boredom, and the lack of financial resources. In the past I had all this free time and was alone most of the time but that didn't bother me, on the contrary. But back then I had all the money I wanted to fly around the world, go out eating and drinking ...

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  32. @David

    if that last post sounded harsh, i didn't mean it to be. am out of time. i was the smart one in the family and they never let me live it down.

    @Eden

    when i used to get blonde streaks as a teenager.. my mother would say how she had always wanted a blonde daughter. etc. i would call her on the criticism which in her mind was self-improvement. what i realized eventually was that there was no cruel intent behind it, just this blind need to make the world over into something that could be accepted in their minds (i.e. perfection). maybe that's another difference between sociopaths and narcissists?

    who we looked like in the family was everything. this is because the children are little versions of their parents, not beings in their own right. our differences or individuality was almost always either a huge threat or stupid nonsense.

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  33. I am a psych nurse. It is good for you to open up, David. If you find a shrink, you need to get one who will understand the sociopath in more than an intellectual way. Many shrinks are merely eggheads. A shrink needs to have real world experience with a condition in order to help his patients, from what I have seen. I have seen many patients get worse with the wrong shrink and heavy meds, which shrinks use in a careless way, imo.

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  34. @Zoe

    You wrote; "my impression is that you are ashamed of your background. you realized you were different at a very early age, and you never developed a sense of belonging or roots."

    There's trueth in that. I never was found talking about my parents and family, I never really liked admitting that I came from rather simple folks. I guess if I grew up in another social class my life would have been completely different.

    "because you never had to really work for anything, you are also a little bit lazy. rather than work for it, you want it easy and fast."

    Correct.

    " but i have to wonder if what drives you is an empath's shame?"

    Almost certainly not, no.

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  35. @David

    I'm not sure why you're asking people here to asses you. You're probably not going to like what they have to say, and go on feeling like the the identity you settled on for yourself (probably because it makes you feel less vulnerable)has still gone without validation. You show time and time again, that you do care what the people here think of you. The fact that you're too lazy to give me a small sample of one of your lectures in English, but spend 3 days writing out your life story and ask for assessment, speaks volumes of your true intentions.

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  36. @Caroline
    It's almost impossible for me to go to a shrink to get diagnosed. Being open and honest would mean having to say things that could incriminate me. I cannot take that risk.

    And after all I would just go to get diagnosed, out of curiosity, it's not that I wanne change myself.

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  37. @Eden
    I'm not gonne start lecturing about transhumanism here, It's not that this can be done in 10 or 20 min.

    I posted the first parts of the text I've written and use to give my lecture yesterday, all you had to do is run them through some sort of online translation tool.

    You wrote; "You're probably not going to like what they have to say, and go on feeling like the the identity you settled on for yourself"

    That's true. But I have all this free time and I cannot even masturbate because it's always possible someone is gonna call me to come over later this evening. So I'm here out of boredom.

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  38. You make some wonderful points about the Narc parent. It is hard to detach from a Narc and not take their stuff, personally. Have you, pretty much?

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  39. @Zoe

    The intelligence thing: That was my father's side. No one was ever allowed to have their own mind, but my father. He was the all knowing and all privileged. If I showed that I had ideas that he didn't put there, I would be severely punished. If I reflected the things he saw in himself that he was proud of (drawing, writing, painting, and music) he would idealize me. My father even assigned my favorite color. Any part of me that showed independence from who he was, or wanted to be; was seen as a threat... and I would be degraded for it. I learn in the beginning to hide who I was that did not reflect him. But once I became a teen, the contempt I felt for him took over... and I began to terrorize my whole family.

    I'm glad you shared what you did. When you have time, I would like to hear more about your family dynamic. Your approach in dealing with it is very mature. I lashed out like an animal for a very long time. Do you mind telling more?

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  40. @Eden

    the underlying reason... if you don't look like them or acknowledge looking like them, or try to, it's seen as rejection. at least they act rejected.

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  41. @Zoe did you pick Narc men?

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  42. @Zoe

    I do everything in my power to go against other people's idea of who I am or who I should be, if I don't like them. Even if it's only an act. My rebellion is my way of saying that I am now free to choose. No one get's to make me in their image. And I celebrate the differences in my children from myself.

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  43. Now then...
    Back to Harry Potter.
    I love the story of The Deathly Hallows. The brother with the cloak was definitely the wisest of the 3.

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  44. I've never watched one Harry Potter movie. I'm more into the Star Trek sort of science fiction and psychological thrillers.

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  45. im bored mystery solved

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  46. I saw 'Inglorious Bastards' for the first time yesterday, I must say I enjoyed it a lot.

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  47. @David

    I enjoy a very wide range of genres in all things. Music, books, and movies. I love science fiction, and psychological thrillers. The latter being my favorite of them all. I don't restrict myself because it might be seen as popular. I never read the Harry Potter books, but I've enjoyed the movies immensely.

    I kind of laugh to myself when people refuse to explore something simply because it's a fad and they see themselves above it, or the reverse; goes against popular view or religion. It just seems like a "back in High School" kind of attitude, when people were still trying to figure out where they fit in this world, and how to be accepted.

    I've even read the whole Twilight series, and thought it was very entertaining. The movies are total crap though.

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  48. Anyone who says sociopaths aren't also narcissists has obviously never been involved with one. Take away the grandiosity and there is no sociopath.

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  49. "I do everything in my power to go against other people's idea of who I am or who I should be"

    So your like everybody else then? That is a losers mentality.

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  50. @harv you got that right. Is the Boston Strangler still on, or was that the Hillside? Let me know, so I can get the flight to the right city, Dude.

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  51. @David

    Narcissists CAN be introspective, look at Vaknin. Bernie Maddoff asked was he a narcissist. Just because you are aware that you are a psychopath or a narcissist, does not mean you have any desire to change. Why would you want to take away advantages you have over everybody else?

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  52. @Harv

    What's wrong with being like everyone else, if that's what you truly are? It's better than spending your whole life trying to be everyone you're not.

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  53. It's a dumb idea to tell people you are a narcissist or a sociopath IRL. People will look at you like your a weirdo, unless they are super open minded aka fucking stupid.

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  54. You be who you have to be to get ahead. People who deviate from social norms are asking for trouble. Sociopaths are not freaks, we are normal people.

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  55. You are being everything you're not by trying to go against what people expect of you and putting on acts, Eden...Your words, not mine.

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  56. At all the anon's:

    "Anyone who says sociopaths aren't also narcissists has obviously never been involved with one. Take away the grandiosity and there is no sociopath."

    I think this is the most correct comment that I've heard so far in the whole narcissist/sociopath discussion here.

    "Narcissists CAN be introspective, look at Vaknin. Bernie Maddoff asked was he a narcissist. Just because you are aware that you are a psychopath or a narcissist, does not mean you have any desire to change. Why would you want to take away advantages you have over everybody else?"

    I always thought that a true narcissist has such an amount of grandiosity that it stands in his or her way for proper self introspection.

    Indeed, I'm aware of my characteristics and wouldn't wanne change.

    "It's a dumb idea to tell people you are a narcissist or a sociopath IRL. People will look at you like your a weirdo, unless they are super open minded aka fucking stupid."

    I would say that in some cases it wouldn't only be dumb but even dangerous as for the consequences it may have. If you really want to discuss the fact that you're a sociopath do it with someone you'll never see again in a bar you'll never visit again. Or maybe better, do it online.

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  57. Not really David. From my experience, a narcissist will tell you outright that they think they are amazing. They'll even joke about being such a narcissist.

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  58. This Boston strangler thing is gay..

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  59. why do narcissistic traits repel people on sw? i seen this happen with empaths. i thought sociopaths valued arrogance.

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  60. "You are being everything you're not by trying to go against what people expect of you and putting on acts, Eden...Your words, not mine."

    Wrong. You both cut out the part where I said I do this to people I don't like. It's fun to irritate people who have a problem with you. I don't do this to everyone... that would be nonsensical. I'm not going to go against my own self just to piss EVERYONE off. That would be stupid. But I won't go against myself just to please just anyone either.

    One of the things I definitely agree with Sweet on, is that it won't matter what I say here, you will read it the way you want to, so that it validates how you need to see me, in order to feel good about yourself. If you can't stand me... every statement of mine you read, will be filtered through that disdain.

    I don't see this place as being much different than any other. The primary goal seems to be to categorize everyone in a way that will meet your own needs. What ever makes you feel more comfortable to be here, and in the presence of others who either remind you of someone (maybe yourself) you hate, or someone you don't understand, who goes against what you deem to be right or wrong. If you show that you have a problem with me, I will enjoy using that. Your job for yourself becomes to somehow belittle me, until I match what will make you comfortable again.

    In this place, I enjoy all the speculation more than I do the truth. I'm not seeking the truth about myself or the other characters here. It's easy to go against who I really am here, in order to fully enjoy the game. I don't share very much of my true self here, because all the speculation is much more fun. But this is not real life anon... If it its for you, then I feel very sorry for you.

    :)

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  61. "Not really David. From my experience, a narcissist will tell you outright that they think they are amazing. They'll even joke about being such a narcissist."

    Aren't you talking about sociopaths? I remember one true narcissist, the guy had so much grandiosity he was totally delusional. He also pretended to be a rich guy who owned a factory while in fact he was an ordinary factory worker. Although he would tell his story with an enormous amount of self assurance. I met him when I had my bar, he fooled me and many others into believing his stories for a good period of time.

    I also can lie extremely well, telling details ... (although I always mix lies with reality, as that makes them easier to remember, I always make I can visualize the lie in my head). But I don't tell lies just for the sake of it, I only lie when it's for my own benefit. I honestly feel better than most people. I also have a very hautain attitude that many people dislike, but on the other hand I can also be very charming if I want to. But in the end I realize I'm not that extremely special or 'god's chosen one'. I still think that a true narcissist lacks proper introspection because the enormous amount of grandiosity makes it impossible for them.

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  62. You are such an ass hole, Eden.

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  63. @Anon

    Yes I am. But I never denied that, anon. I recall an anon once asking me if I were a sociopath some time ago. My response was no, "I'm just a cunt." ;)

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  64. eden is too open to be a sociopath. socios are very very secretive. you'll only get a false name on here from a sociopath. not the real.

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  65. I've always been very secretive in real life. My wet dream is to start a totally new life in a new country, new name ... once my legal bullshit is over.

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  66. Eden is not a sociopath, just so annoying you want to slap her unconscious.

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  67. @Anon

    Who are you addressing? Everyone here knows I'm not a sociopath.

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  68. of course ::eyeroll::

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  69. are you borderline? i think so..

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  70. ::eyeroll:: was @ davidsocio

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  71. and if you want to slap me unconscious... then it looks like I'm accomplishing my goal. Why do you give me so much power over your emotions? You could easily skip over what I say, and I'd cease to exist... but you don't. You get off on the irritation you feel for me, as much as I get off on the act of irritating. I think we're both winners in that respect.

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  72. "Just because you are aware that you are a psychopath or a narcissist, does not mean you have any desire to change. Why would you want to take away advantages you have over everybody else?"


    where did this quote come from?

    I think there are some very self- aware people who are consumed by the intrusive thought patterns.

    Why would anyone want to think about manipulating day in day out?

    Making changes isn't about whether or not you have more or less power over people. The power you have over people you will always have. It is a given, you become used to it, and frankly, it becomes old and -yes, boring imo.

    A person wants to make changes to feel alive and connected to what they do, who they care for, what their past passions were, they want to make new passions, they want to love life, not think about their manipulations.

    Does anyone here get bored with themselves?

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  73. "Does anyone here get bored with themselves?"

    No, I'm fabulous, my life is boring for this moment due to external factors.

    Shit, I broke another mirror, luckily I buy them by the dozen.

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  74. Does Anyone HERE get bored with themselves?November 13, 2011 at 11:33 AM

    DUH

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  75. david is fabulous HAHAHAHA

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  76. 1033

    I met a real narc the other day. Piece of work.. Wouldn't stop talking about himself, his martial arts competitions, and his 2 dobermans who he hits. And then says his dogs are "2 -faced"

    I'm nodding and saying wow, really you don't say? Then he tells me, "you now I wouldn't be talking to you right now if I didn't like you.. And by the way, I only have 'one face' "

    I ended up telling him I thought his accent sounded middle eastern, not Italian, he told me my ear for accents was for shit, then I told him I knew someone who competed in the same sport whose body was really really so incredibly cut, he even looked a bit anorexic to me.

    I don't think I was so special anymore.
    Boohoo.

    I am not sadistic, but THEY do bring it out, some of them.

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  77. I'm serious. Ofcourse "duh" for here.
    I real life, do you people get bored with yourselves and what, if anything, will you do that makes you feel good?

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  78. At least, a narc has empathy, though. So, is better than a socio.

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  79. they are super sensitive and insecure. They have self-empathy

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  80. dats tru but no empathy fur others

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  81. They are less destructive and outwardly cruel, yes. There are less sadistic, yes.

    not the mal narcs. They are sadistic.

    Isn't ther a very fine line between a mal narc and sociopath. What do you think the difference is?

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  82. for one, the jealousy thing. A mal narc will tell you others are jealous, and a sociopath will say who gives a shit what they do and why.

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  83. I think the mal narc is better than the socio

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  84. "for one, the jealousy thing. A mal narc will tell you others are jealous, and a sociopath will say who gives a shit what they do and why."

    Makes sense

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  85. A mal narc feels guilty. They are very insecure and so they QUESTION what they do. So, they can back off if someone is strong with them. A socio will run over you and not care. He will say "Fuck You" and you will be left bleeding, while he laughs, in my astutely humble opinion.

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  86. Mal narcs are more sadistic than sociopaths, they get their narcissistic supply from destructive acts. Sadists are the highest on the spectrum, they're even worse than sociopaths and Mal narcs.

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  87. Anon 12:23 Where do you get that info?

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  88. never met a mal narc before until now

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  89. @anon 12:30
    It's Erin, apparently her mother was a mal narc

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  90. Anonymous said...
    Not really David. From my experience, a narcissist will tell you outright that they think they are amazing. They'll even joke about being such a narcissist.


    that's been my experience exactly.

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  91. No I'm not Erin, what I said about malignant narcs is true. The get their narcissist supply from causing pain and destroying things. They're also extremely paranoid, and are out to take revenge on the word for perceived slights and attacks. Most serial killers fit the profile of Mal narcs.

    Sadists are the worst. while sociopaths have no conscience, sadists have inverted conscience's.

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  92. davidsocio01 said...
    " but i have to wonder if what drives you is an empath's shame?"

    Almost certainly not, no.


    good that narrows it down. i'm going to assume you're not lying and actually spending lonely nights hating yourself and crying yourself to sleep. which i don't think you are.

    my question then to you is: where is the challenge?

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  93. do you have nice hair

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  94. Narcissists create a false persona that has done great things. In reality they hate their lives and have done nothing that they genuinely feel proud of. Like a prostitute who claims they gave lectures on transhumanism or a office clerk that claims to run a fortune 500 company. Extreme examples but you get the point

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  95. WHAT is an inverted conscience?

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  96. "Extreme examples but you get the point"

    They will never get the point. They don't even care about the point.
    Say... what happened to yesterday's retard? They get scared off so easily these days.

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  97. Most sociopaths are sadistic so where do you make the distinction? I read about malignant narcissists. I really see no difference between it and sociopathy.

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  98. I hear you eden. Its these bloodthirsty fans that scare them away. They have to make this huge prelude before any of us begin, so by the time we come on they are guarded or they flee.

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  100. Shouldn't you be out in the park selling drugs to prostitutes Ukan? I'm sure these won't give you philosophical lectures lol

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  101. 'Most sociopaths are sadistic so where do you make the distinction?'

    Personally, I believe that while sociopaths act sadistically for their own amusement, malignant narcissists absolutely have to act sadistically to feed their ego and feel worthwhile. I think this makes them more unstable and actively sadistic.

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  102. Eden said...
    My father even assigned my favorite color.


    okay that wins the narcissist prize. i would just get criticized, not completely overridden like that. brutal.

    but i did get comments like "now you don't really feel that way", rather than acknowledgment. the problem with a narcissistic personality is they think if they accept your reality they have to deny their own. so they deny yours. it's not about attacking you as much as defending themselves from you. from the reality of you. they aren't equipped well to deal with the reality of others.

    I'm glad you shared what you did. When you have time, I would like to hear more about your family dynamic. Your approach in dealing with it is very mature. I lashed out like an animal for a very long time. Do you mind telling more?

    i could over a two week period or so. it might be interesting to share. if you pick the place, i'll post there. general details only. my approach is mature because i am in my forties. i only started to "see" my own narcissism about five years ago. which gave me a new perspective.

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  103. Monica said...
    @Zoe did you pick Narc men?


    yes, but they never lasted long. i no longer do.

    it's like they're all shiny dazzling surface but no substance. once i figured them out i always lost interest.

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  104. "Its these bloodthirsty fans that scare them away. They have to make this huge prelude before any of us begin, so by the time we come on they are guarded or they flee."

    I agree.

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  105. It has never been about feeling special or care as I have stated previously. Venturing where there might be trouble is my forte.

    ReplyDelete
  106. Can a Mal Narc love? Will the Mal narc get sadistic if they feel any slight? Life is filled with perceived and actual slights, by the nature of it?


    In turn, what does that say about a socio's ability to love? Not too fucking much.

    ReplyDelete
  107. "if you pick the place, i'll post there."

    I suppose the forum will do. Less interruptions. I can't wait to hear your story. Though I come here mostly to play, I have learned a lot at SW about things I didn't think I was even interested in knowing. I have always been able to see my family for their collective nature... I just never cared to seek out a label to put it under. Now that it has one, it surely makes them seem less scattered.

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  108. What is missing in a person that they would have a relationship with a socio, long term. There has to be a piece missing in the person. What is it, I wonder?

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  109. So who's the bloodthirsty fan's?

    The one's answering would be the bloodthirsty fan's obviously.

    And ran them off scared of WHAT?

    Your both so full of yourselves, your delusional.

    You made my day!

    ReplyDelete
  110. LOL that is funny !

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  111. David doesn't know much about prostitution if he thinks prostitutes are the kind of people that hang around in parks on Sunday afternoons.

    ReplyDelete
  112. "okay that wins the narcissist prize. i would just get criticized, not completely overridden like that. brutal."

    Well, what's most important is that you hold on to what you know to be the truth about yourself. I knew what my favorite color was at the moment, and it wasn't pink. So I held on to that truth within and let him think what he wanted to.

    The sister I grew up with was more susceptible to him than I was. She would have rather pleased him, and become what he wanted to see, than to hold on to herself. She did things for his approval that would make me cringe. Now she has no sense of who she is without his voice in her head, telling her. She has DID, along with several other disorders. That's what's more fascinating to me than any disorder. How different our personalities/brains are from the beginning, that we should react in such a different way to the same thing. It can mean the difference between the one who goes on to thrive... and the one who can barely function. The one who for the most part, is sane... and the one who loses their mind entirely.

    My brother-in-law always says the same thing (mostly to himself) over and over: "You're sister is what she is, because she is damaged man!"
    I reply the same way I always do too: "So was I."

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  113. This isn't to attack anybody, just an observation. For me it's just strange and very hard if not impossible to understand that you would let annyone influence your life.

    Especially the preoccupation with family ... My parents totally lost grip on me when I was a teen. They don't dare to comment on my life or argue with me because they know I wouldn't get into a fight but just punish them by having less contact with them. I guess they somehow know/feel I'm capable of dropping them if they would be too annoying. I could emotionally cope with that by blocking them out of my mind, while they would be destroyed by it.

    Same for other people. I would never let anyone have control over me. If they would try I would drop them or attack them if necessary. That preoccupation with family, other people ... is just so irrational and hard to understand for me.

    ReplyDelete
  114. "For me it's just strange and very hard if not impossible to understand that you would let annyone influence your life."

    Said the prostitute who is up to his ears in debt, can't sleep without pills and booze, and is contemplating suicide.
    You do realize we are unequipped to just bust out of mommy's vagina, and start taking care of ourselves from the jump?
    lol You have been greatly influenced by your family in one way or other, David! That's why you're so fucked up. You just don't care to attribute any of your behavior to what your family did or didn't do... and let's not forget the genetics that come from your parents obviously. You'd rather put all your identity under a title that you hope separates you from mankind entirely, is that it?

    The owner of a corporation I used to work for always told us in his speeches: If you want to be a success, surround yourself with successful people.

    I came from a background of failure. There is no way I would have made it this far without letting the behavior of other people, who knew better than I did; influence me in some way.

    Now, I no longer blame my parents for any behavior that may negatively affect me and others, but I can't deny that some traits cannot be overridden, just because you want them to be.

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  115. "I would never let anyone have control over me. If they would try I would drop them or attack them if necessary."

    Considering everything else you've said about your ex and all that, that's probably the stupidest thing you've ever said. You're an idiot. I read that pathetic shit that you wrote on the forum as well. Does literally hiding in fear from other children at school not count as them having control over you? Even your job requires you to submit to others. Oh but you're taking their money so you must be the one in control, right? I guess every time one of your clients buys a can of pepsi from the shop the shop keeper who sold it them pulled the con of the century. You're nothing but a servent. Please just top yourself already you fucking maggot. Your parents won't miss you.

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  116. "I guess every time one of your clients buys a can of pepsi from the shop the shop keeper who sold it them pulled the con of the century."

    lmfao
    That's one of the funniest things I've read here in weeks!

    ReplyDelete
  117. eden. are you a codependent woman? do you do everything for the person your in relationship with?

    ReplyDelete
  118. Well in the end it's always the same discussion we have on this misanthrope, so obviously it's getting a bit boring isn't it?

    For the 100th time, my ex died financially and emotionally ruined a couple of months ago, so if you're still convinced he was the one in control during our 'relationship' that's ok with me.

    As for my clients it is indeed just a commercial transaction for an hour or an hour and a half. So being in control over one another isn't even applicable to that situation as far as I am concerned.

    In my comment I was obviously talking about being influenced by other people in a way one would let them influence your life in ways you dislike, and genuinely caring about other people.

    ReplyDelete
  119. "eden. are you a codependent woman? do you do everything for the person your in relationship with?"

    Nope. I'm too fucking lazy to be like that. Even when it comes to my kids: When they get old enough to start cleaning up after themselves, and helping out... they are taught to do so. How else will they learn to take care of themselves? Just this year, I turned my daughter's laundry over to her. She will be 15 in less than a month, and I told her she has only 4 years left, to get used to doing it all on her own.

    My eldest sister does everything for everyone though. I'm surprised her kids know how to do anything on their own.

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  120. Eden

    I saw what you wrote yesterday about people coming here and being impressionable, I can see how that would happen.

    I had an exciting day today, we were at the gas station buying cigarettes and my husband got into a fight with two guys there. The place turned into a mad house. Nothing like a little fighting to make a Sunday more interesting.

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  121. @Sweet

    What was the fight about?

    ReplyDelete
  122. The guy who started it was older and drunk and was with his son who was in his twenties. He was mouthing off to the cashier about buying alcohol but he was hammered and his son didn't have his ID, so of course my husband had to say his piece irritated and wanting his smokes. They started fighting, then the son jumped in, customers flipped out and the cashier had to get involved.

    I am relaxing with a beer now, but it was pretty funny. Gave me a rush for sure.

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  123. "In my comment I was obviously talking about being influenced by other people in a way one would let them influence your life in ways you dislike"

    But you hate your life and want to die. Now you're trying to convince me that you're some kind of maverick? You're just a chew toy for the rest of the world. Things can't get much worse for you so I don't understand why you sound so proud of your pitiful existence. Your way of doing things is clearly exactly the same as the wrong way. You're one of those idiots who's rapidly approaching middle aged and still hasn't worked out that he's a total failure stuck at rock bottom. No self awareness is your problem.

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  124. what makes you think david is suicidal, mis?

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  125. He said himself that it's only a matter of time before he throws himself off the terrace. Unless he's conducting some kind of experiment to see if drunken old whores can fly I'd say he sounds suicidal.

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  126. " Things can't get much worse for you ..."

    Exactly they can only get better. Who knows who will pass my path in the near future. With a bit of luck there's so much money to be made in such short time, after all I have some experience ...

    I'll crawl out of my shit, and I'm sure there's still much fun ahead.

    For now I need a good night of sleep, if I want money and fun again in the future I have to make sure I look good, don't I missy ...

    Tata

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  127. If I ever commit suicide I'll leave a note leading to you miss. Although I wouldn't worry to much.

    Big kiss x

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  128. "Unless he's conducting some kind of experiment to see if drunken old whores can fly I'd say he sounds suicidal."

    That's funny, I like your sense of humour. Mail me, we should have diner.
    x

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  129. " Who knows who will pass my path in the near future. With a bit of luck there's so much money to be made in such short time"

    It's funny how tomorrow never comes. And I'm not worried about you committing suicide. I'm not worried at all.

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  130. Ha! In discussing therapeutic, constructive ways in which to channel some of my antisocial tendencies a few nights ago, I (half) jokingly asked my spouse to consider taking fencing lessons with me. Funny, that. :)

    I don't know much about fencing as a sport, but there is little I find more viscerally exciting and visually titillating than a well-executed sword fight... Major turn-on.

    Your description of the power dynamics inherent to the sport is intriguing, M.E.

    ReplyDelete
  131. Low Functioning SociopathNovember 13, 2011 at 4:50 PM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qlA2l8tWoU



    In honor of Ukan--our LOW functioning sociopath

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  132. Sounds like a stupid sport to me. You can't even hurt them properly with all that armour on.

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  133. That's what I was thinking. Fencing is lame. I can see how being a Torero could be especially appealing to sociopaths.

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  134. @Sweet

    Out of curiosity, how does your husband treat your son? Do you worry about what kind of affect he'll have?

    ReplyDelete
  135. I havent read the rest yet, but I have to say I LOVE harry Potter. I made my husband go with me to see them in theaters. I always used to pretend I had magical powers when i was little, so harry potter is like a disney movie, but even better! They're amazing

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  136. lol



    Zhawq
    Reply | Threaded | More star
    Nov 13, 2011; 6:33pm
    Re: Can a sociopath experience emotions vicariously?
    Zhawq
    3 posts

    In reply to this post by Anon
    I can "experience" emotions I witness in others, whether on tv or in person, but only on a cognitive level. It's not the real thing, and during a scan I come off as a "flat-liner" where others would generate spikes and curves.

    Of course this is to be understood figuratively. Everybody experience some emotion some of the time to some extent, and I'm no exception. I just don't experience emotion strongly enough when observing someone else expressing their feelings for it to register.

    It's hard to explain. I think I sometimes experience something between emotion and thought, and I can't really tell the difference. I can imagine emotion and mimic how they should be expressed. Some of the emotion I express I have learned from watching movies whereas others I have learned from watching people around me. In that sense I'm probably just like other people, we learn from many sources.

    .....

    What you describe about feeling emotions for characters on TV, but not for people you meet or know personally, refers to a specific disorder or syndrome, but it doesn't relate to sociopathy or psychopathy.
    « Return to Forum | 129 views
    Powered by Nabble

    ReplyDelete
  137. Eden

    My husband can be overbearing at times and treat my son like an extension of himself. He has a tendency to buy my son toys that he wanted as a child that he was denied, etc. In that respect, I do worry about my son rebelling when he is older. Other than that, my husband is not physically or verbally abusive to him. We have our issues; however he tries to be a better parent than his parents were.

    Of course I worry to an extent, yet I realize that I can't turn back the clock and I have to be the best mother I can in the meantime.

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  138. your husband is not a narcissist. he would absolutely decimate your sons self worth if he was a pathological narcissist.

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  139. @Eden 10:54am

    Eden, why did you feel my message was an attack? You took offense to it and wrote lengthy reply to it...Why? It was not an attack. Just an observation..

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  140. Lol! Eden runs along to Zhawqs blog, whips up some information and comes scuttling along back here to toss the meat in with the lions. You and Medusa have similar roles.

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  141. Cue, Medusa's arrival.

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  142. Anon

    Whatever he is, it is really not my focus. Unlike Bluebird, I don't spend days thinking about his problems and trying to understand them. He is not home much, so I try to focus on what I can better do as a Mom.

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  143. I must say I haven't ever used physical violence yet, but from experience I'm sure I'm capable of it.


    Most people struggle to accept their homosexuality, I didn't, it never felt problematic for me. At the ago of 11 I had to go to the office of the school director. A guy had called me a fag (for the 100th time)

    I had to laugh at these ones. You're a fucking contradiction david. You try to act so tough, but it is obvious you were weak since you were a lad. I burst out laughing when you said you would hide all day from the bullies. You fucking pathetic weak worm. How much of a namby pamby are you that you would hide in your house from one guy? It sickens me to know that nature has allowed you to live because surely you are not fit to be here.
    You tried to fit into society and they stomped you out not because you were a homosexual or because you were some dastardly sociopath. It was because you were destined to fail and everyone could smell it on you.

    The only acceptance you got was from being a fuck toy. The minute you started dressing up like some freak and wearing make up you got attention. That was the only positive attention you ever got in your life, so it became your obsession. You sunk lower and lower to get more and more attention.

    You are stuck where you are because you are done. The only way people ever accepted you was when their cock was in your mouth, and now you have nothing. You are old and washed up. Nobody will ever like you for who you are that is why you are alone right now. You are a wierdo and a creep.

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  144. "@Eden 10:54am

    Eden, why did you feel my message was an attack? You took offense to it and wrote lengthy reply to it...Why? It was not an attack. Just an observation.."

    Oh I didn't see it as an attack. Nothing I said even showed offense in the least. I think it could even be seen as me using you to brag about what an asshole I am, when I come here. :)

    You sound familiar. Are you related to Sceli?

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  145. Just a few things id like to go over with you david.

    "It's almost impossible for me to go to a shrink to get diagnosed. Being open and honest would mean having to say things that could incriminate me. I cannot take that risk."

    What I heard there is that being open and honest would mean you'd have to face your actual self and would rip apart your delusions.particularly because shrinks are bound by disclosure laws excepting whether they suspect you'll be violent.

    "And after all I would just go to get diagnosed, out of curiosity, it's not that I wanne change myself."

    The tone of you trying to convince yourself here is unmistakeable.

    "I've always been very secretive in real life. My wet dream is to start a totally new life in a new country, new name ... once my legal bullshit is over."

    But David, isn't that what you're doing on this site? Feigning all the pretty little roles you want to play in your head.

    "My parents totally lost grip on me when I was a teen. They don't dare to comment on my life or argue with me because they know I wouldn't get into a fight but just punish them by having less contact with them. I guess they somehow know/feel I'm capable of dropping them if they would be too annoying. I could emotionally cope with that by blocking them out of my mind, while they would be destroyed by it."

    What I hear there is that you wish they still cared enough to take care of you and coddle you from the world that's been so rash, and they could protect you again from where you've put yourself. You're parents finally just gave up on you, and that
    pain is more than you can handle. A good topic to start on when you go to the shrink.

    David, you have very carefully constructed dreams you compose and try to convince us of. You're some vigilante prostitute, of sorts. reaping havoc on your molesters, whom you subject yourself to. Like you're the white night of prostitution. Singing all the while about how you've conquered your life, how you're just low now, but not in the other 17 years of prostitution because those were more profitable. It isn't that you're depressed because you try every day to convince yourself you are OK with what you do. You also arent depressed because any time you've ever been called to rise you've run and cowered in fear, where you now live. you have to sell your body because you've been too afraid of failure to ever aspire for anything more complex than that, but you feel you're capable of great things so you convince yourself youre already doing them.

    I'm with Medusa, David, I do like you, but you make it difficult by your almost religious refusal to accept the blame you have for what most certainly are failures in your life. It would be easier at this point to just face your fears than it would be to try to uphold this ridiculous facade. Surely less mental strain and effort. Though I think if you started to see a glimmer of yourself through therapy that you would most certainly kill yourself, if you're already on the brink with the cushion you hold of delusions.
    We all say the same thing, David. Either we all conspire in our real life to fool you, or we're right, and its actually you who's lying to yourself.

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  146. "The only way people ever accepted you was when their cock was in your mouth"

    LMAO

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  147. You know, I remember a quote that was put up of UKan's on Twitter, about how you tell people exactly what you are going to do to them and they still fall for your bullshit. Something along those lines anyway.

    That's what makes this place the most fun. You tell people what you're actually doing to them, or what they are going to do in response to your actions/words, and they still fall into the trap! I just never get sick of it... I really don't!

    Maybe sometime in the future it won't amuse me anymore, but for now it's the fucking best!

    ReplyDelete
  148. Ted's critical challenge from his teen years onward was the perfec­tion and maintenance of a credible public persona, his mask of sanity. Lacking true adult emotions, he had to put on the look of normalcy while inside him the tumult raged unabated.

    He underwent a process of mock acculturation, like an alien life form acquiring appropriate behavior through mimicry and artifice. It was painful and confusing to him, each frequent misstep a stab at the child bewildered by his inability to handle the simplest adult rela­tionships.

    By Ted's account, "my social life was a big zero. I spent a great deal of time with myself. It was a lonely year for me, and it was worse because I didn't have my old neighborhood buddies around." He declined to join a fraternity and can still recall how cowed he felt in the presence of self-assured, hearty fraternity brothers. Al­though he was rushed, he wouldn't join because "I didn't feel socially adept enough. I didn't feel I knew how to function with those people. I felt terribly uncomfortable."

    "I didn't know what made things tick," Ted told me. "I didn't know what made people want to be friends. I didn't know what made peo­ple attractive to one another. I didn't know what underlay social interactions."

    "When people where genuinely interested in me, I seldom picked up on it. Simply, I just did not appreciate my worth. It's strange, isn't it, that under these circumstances, today I probably have a stronger self-image than I did before?"

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  149. I do love to see it. And they feel so misunderstood.

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  150. Yet they themselves just don't understand. It's just as I said: They just filter it all through all that disdain, or self hate... and read what they prefer to see.

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  151. The man who committed these outrages had been regarded by those who believed they knew him as sincere, bright, often courtly around women. He had a high intelligent forehead and a straight patrician nose inherited from his mother. Under even brows that he sometimes plucked, his expressive eyes could be a gentle blue. Together with a sensitive mouth, they created the illusion of depth to his nature. More than once a woman used the term "beautiful'' to describe Ted Bundy.

    Ted's male friends admired him; they detected a power in him. Older men marked Bundy for his solid, conventional turn of mind, and his look of purpose. Several of them treated Ted as if he were a likable and deserving nephew or a younger brother.

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  152. Our mental filtration systems are amazing when there is something we're afraid to see. I did that with something that happened tome, too, and it was so easy to skew what my husband would try to convey to me.
    I always love seeing people do that. Watching their brain talk itself into believing something. You can almost see it. You can hear the thoughts going through their head and how they change. I love watching my father do it.

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  153. That's what's so great about writing. It can shape the way we see things. Influence people to see things under different lighting, or change it to seem like the few things they can relate to... even when it's not on the page.

    But what I like the most about it, is that you can go back through time and read yourself through all these stages of your own life. I know myself so well because I write. I know myself so well because I don't hold on to what I write. I know myself because people read what I write, and tell me what they see in themselves.

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  154. he press stories about Ted stressed his apparent normalcy, his intellect, his attractiveness, his Republicanism. They didn't report he was a compulsive nail biter and nose picker, that he was no genius (IQ: 124) that he was at best a fair student in college and a failure in law school, that he was poorly read, that he frequently mispronounced words and that he stuttered when nervous and had acquired only a surface sophistication. Against a backdrop of mass insane homicide, Ted instead emerged as a variety of criminal genius, a nearly fictive character (once again like an actor) who wasn't stereotypically a loner or a loser — because he didn't look like one — and so must be something else: Evil Incarnate, the Devil's issue.

    Yet even this perception of Ted was false, or at best superficial. All it did was recognize in horror and fascination that the stereotype is a vain assumption. "People,'' said Bob Dekle, the Florida assistant state attorney who prosecuted Bundy for the murder of Kim Leach, "think a criminal is a hunchbacked, cross-eyed little monster slithering through the dark, leaving a trail of slime. They're human beings.''

    But within Ted Bundy that slithering hunchback did exist, residing behind what one eminent psychiatrist termed a sociopath's "mask of sanity.'' The mask is a fabrication and nothing more, but it is generally impenetrable. In Ted, the cross-eyed creature lurked on a different plane of existence, and could only be seen by means of a tautology; you had to infer it before it could be found.

    Thus, the only doctor who did not assume Ted Bundy was a killer was also the only doctor not to conclude he was mentally disturbed. Once the assumption of guilt was made, nearly all the classic criteria of Antisocial Personality Disorder were identified and duly noted in him; violence, disregard for truth and social norms, thieving, impulsivity, inability to feel guilt or remorse and all the rest

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  155. I love many many things about writing... like this blog, is getting me back in touch with my passions for writing. For me I love going into peoples thoughts. I used to write things that disturbed my teachers, like if i was sad, I'd put myself into someones head who was desolate, and write amazing almost painful things. Sometimes my teachers were afraid I was suicidal, but I was a very joyful, ebullient child. It was always just amazing to me, like being john malkovich. I could go into a door into someone else's mind. I still love seeing that when other people write too, now that I know so much more about symbolism and psychology. I love anything that transports me to see how other people think. I love creation of any kind becaise it has the ability to embody peoples minds into what they make. That idea astounds me, beyond anything.

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  156. not having remorse and throwing your cat in a blender are different

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  157. when i write, its like im following something, too. Like you aren't really creating, so much as youre finding a creation thats hidden somewhere. I love it.

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  158. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV7lHiwI2wI

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  159. "like being john malkovich"

    I love him. I loved him long before that movie was made.

    'Dangerous Liaisons' and 'In the Line of Fire'

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  160. Missus Kanney said...
    when i write, its like im following something, too. Like you aren't really creating, so much as youre finding a creation thats hidden somewhere.


    pieces of yourself

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  161. I don't write too much of anything anymore, but I like short stories. I also am composing a fairy tale.

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  162. makez me happy and beatz a face in slowly iz sic

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  163. Absolutely; "Pieces of yourself"
    How to put yourself together... write.
    Even if it's a lie it sheds light on some truth about you. If you see it for what it is, of course. It's so much more important to me, that I find myself through my own words, than to have someone else tell me what they see through their own bias.
    I remember a line from my narcy ex lover on his MySpace. It said something like: "I am the most objective person you'll ever meet."

    lol

    That still makes me smile.

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  164. Eden said...
    "if you pick the place, i'll post there."

    I suppose the forum will do. Less interruptions. I can't wait to hear your story. Though I come here mostly to play, I have learned a lot at SW about things I didn't think I was even interested in knowing. I have always been able to see my family for their collective nature... I just never cared to seek out a label to put it under. Now that it has one, it surely makes them seem less scattered.


    ok i guess i will start a post tomorrow or tuesday. this suddenly feels like work, like writing about what you did on summer vacation. i always hated that.

    i will need an angle or point to it. how about emotion? i almost always buffer what i feel before i show it. but one time i was caught off guard and what i was feeling literally possessed me, like some alien entity. it was on a blind date. the guy was so beyond anything i could have imagined, and not in a good way, that my mind ground to a complete halt. as we walked to the restaurant, i could FEEL my face contorting in horror, or shock, or whatever it was, as if someone else was operating the facial muscles, so much so that i had to look away so he wouldn't see.

    when we got there, the waiter winked at me. :(

    has anyone else experienced that? very trippy. it was like i wasn't feeling the feelings as much as they were feeling me.

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  165. Well if it seems like work to you, don't do it. Just slip me a comment of something that comes to mind you suddenly feel like sharing from time to time. I will look for it... we can make it like a scavenger hunt.

    As for the thing about your feelings feeling you... nothing comes immediately to mind.

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  166. on topic:

    i tried fencing once and loved it. never got around to it somehow. it seemed like a great work out, physically and mentally, and you got to wear a cool mask and wave a "sword" around. :)

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  167. @Eden

    i will try it. it will be better if i don't over think it

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  168. @David

    you deleted the post i wanted to reply to. i'm fading fading so will just say two words: career change.

    not because prostitution is bad, but because you've been doing the same thing for years with no career path, and no challenge. doing the same thing you fell into in your youth. you remind me of guys i've known who were stuck in boring desk jobs, and bored silly, tethered to their pay cheques and seeing no way out.

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  169. @MK

    I bet you have a great imagination. It would be fun to read what fairytale would come forth.

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  170. Zoe,I was once riding in the back of a car with a really weird date. His friend who was driving us was watching my facial expressions in his mirror unbeknownst to me. After the brief romance was over, the friend described my face perfectly. I had a horror stricken look. I was regretting getting involved with this wacky guy. The friend, the driver, was cracking up inside. He was dead on accurate.

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  171. drink it drink it eat it eat it

    unless you don't want too i don't force myself

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  172. OMG I am having deja vu

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  173. mental rape isnt my thang

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  174. HELP ME HELP ME POKE ME POKE ME

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  175. smacking my bitch up hoe

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  176. fencing probably is something that keeps alzheimers away more than other sports.

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  177. My ass is leaking. Anyone have an idea why that might be?

    ReplyDelete

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