You ask me about feeling and detachment. One of its aspects, detachment with feeling, I should say, is that you can think of two things at the same time. You can think that you are not safe and may die, and you can think of something very abstract and remote. And this was definitely so with me.
I think this accurately describes sociopaths as well. Sociopaths are notorious for holding two inconsistent views at the same time. I believe this is due to their exceptional ability to compartmentalize. This ability to compartmentalize also manifests itself in the way sociopaths feel and express feelings -- sometimes there, sometimes not really there at all, sometimes an inappropriate emotion.
I realize that normal people are also quite capable of being grossly inconsistent, but for some reason I feel like there is a difference there. I believe that people who do that successfully are employing extensive amounts of self-deception, whereas a sociopath is more likely to see every distinction collapsing in on itself at a certain level of abstraction and so there is no such thing as "inconsistent."
Another quote was from a vampire about his choice not to exercise the influence he naturally would have had being the eldest among them:
If I exercise such power, then I must protect it. I will make enemies. And I would have forever to deal with my enemies when all I want here as a certain space, a certain peace. Or not to be here at all. I accept the scepter of sorts they've given me,but not to rule over them, only to keep them at a distance.
This was also brought up in the book "Power", this issue of whether and when people choose to cultivate power. Sometimes I would read things in "Power" and think, yes, I guess that is a form of power to take over the planning and production of a charity event, but for what purpose? Maybe some people (control freaks) would choose to take on thankless, go nowhere jobs for the sake of power, but I don't tend to be one of them. It's the same reason why I don't really think most high profile politicians are sociopaths but more likely narcissists. I believe there is too much thankless work required to achieve power as an elected public official. Unelected political officials (shadow players, as one of my friends used to call them) are an entirely different story.
