Assisted suicide?

Several people notified me about the teenager from Massachussetts who was charged with murder for her role in urging a friend to kill himself.

Here's one link to the story. Fee free to share others that may have a different spin.

I've heard about the dangers of this happening (prosecution for encouraging suicide), but I think this is the first I have seen where the person being indicted wasn't an actual physical participant in the suicide, but rather just someone who facilitated it emotionally or psychologically without bullying, intimidation, or other possibly threatening or unlawful conduct.

This is an interesting case particularly because the victim apparently deleted all recent texts except those that the victim had with the girl? Why? To set her up?

And the oddest thing about this type of charge is that it all seems to boil down to whether she really felt badly for him and it was more like an assisted euthanasia (sympathy), or whether she just wanted to push him over the edge for self-gratification of a power trip or too garner attention and sympathy from others (pure evil)? Probably the thing that is scariest about this are the people who will feel with absolute assurance that they can look into her heart and find either evil or look into the prosecutor's heart and find overreaching or the parents' heart and find an over-willingness to spread the blame that should rightly land on them, etc., when who could know the heart of another, particularly a stranger.  I find these sorts of stories to be interesting litmus tests, not just to how people will come out, but what degree of moral surety they have in something that seems so clearly unknowable unless you were one of the principal players, and even then so easy to misunderstand or misapprehend.

Raised by wolves

I think this was an interesting situation, if true, from a comment:

Can someone tell me why a psychopath/sociopath wants to be in a relationship?

I was addicted to one before I realised my entire family, except me, are sociopaths. I treated them as I would treat any person, assumed they had different characters to me, and that they had issues. I worked around it, expected nothing back and encouraged them for the good they did.

Research on websites tells me sociopaths seek relationships as a mask for what they are. But I never saw my family giving a shit what people thought. I thought they did it because they actually loved (or in the correct terminology, approved of and enjoyed immensely) the company of their companion. I thought that the marriage was pretty good because they seemed like best friends. Who enjoyed fighting and drama, but ultimately, needed each other.

I am super super empathic and always saw good in them and they did their best for me.
The guy I fell for, I read him in the way that I had learned to read the only people around me. I saw love. He of course moved on quickly but if I see him now I know I still am important to him and not in the way that he wants to hurt me. It's almost like he's accepted the differences between us but I don't know if I imagine it but there is a deep longing inside each of us to be able to play that role, he as my man and me as his woman. When I am with him, I feel that is the role I am destined to play. It's the only one I know how to play.

I cut off my family because of the abuse and feel such a deep depression without them. I can't stand normal people because I've been raised not to act like a dramatic idiot. I only know the sociopath way. I love so much about it. But they always fall short because they are narcissists. They miss information or are not willing to do tasks that would achieve what they want. 

I God dammit have all of the same traits. Maybe that's why I love this guy. I feel like nobody will ever be able to understand me like him. Nobody will want to have kids with me when they know I have the sociopath gene. I've been targeted by other colleagues and wanted to die. I don't want my kids doing that to someone.

I guess I need closure.. I felt like although he didn't attach to me in the traditional way, he changed his behaviours around me. Surely that is his way of saying he wants me to be near? 

20 Rules for young sociopaths

A young self identifying sociopath wrote this list of rules for young sociopaths based on personal experience:

1.  Never be open about cheating for even the smallest of favors, like copying: Keep it occasional and involve as few people as possible. If other people want to cheat, put on a facial expression of slight disagreement (usually that means just look down, but keep head upright.) This is just based on other peoples reactions to me offering to cheat.

2.  Learn all the basic manners through books like Dale Carnegie's books. Also, basic manners too like washing hands in bathroom, not picking nose, saying bless you, saying thank you.

3.  Never disagree with anyone unless it is necessary. In fact, adopt those values. BUT DO NOT DO IT IMMEDIATELY AFTER THEY DISCLOSE IT. It is much more impressive and much less suspicious if you wait to show them with your actions that you have adopted their values. Patience is key.

4.  When trying to seduce someone in opening stage, always have a REASON to talk to them. Then, get them to do a favor for you. While they do that favor for you, start asking them questions about themselves that lead to conversation.

5. Always expose yourself to other well-adjusted sociopaths to learn from them (I am very good at profiling people's personalities: includes identifying sociopaths). What I've been doing is just doing my best to befriend them, and watch how they interact with their friends. No better way than to learn from the master.

6. If possible, seek help from sociopathic relative. There has to be one if you're a sociopath. It's my dad in this case. Of course, remain discreet. My dad always knew i was a sociopath and I hinted to him that i was self-aware. so he gave me some pointers.

7. Watch your tone of voice: Keep it soft. I learned that from reading Devil in the White City (the sociopath was described as having a very soft voice that appealed to people).

8. When smiling, mirror them. Smile when they do. The exception is greeting people. The smile should not be a big cheeky one unless they have one on their face too. I happen to be able to consciously control most muscles on my face that most people can't (I can make a Duchenne smile, raise the inner corners of my eyebrows without moving my entire eyebrow to indicate the universal expression of sadness, etc.) Sorry, I digress.

9. Never brag like I did in this post many times earlier (feel free to remove those parts. I'm too lazy to delete and too eager to impress). If complimented, which happens occasionally, show no reaction, especially embarrassment. When i see people respond with embarrassment to my compliments, I see them as weak.

10. When other people wrong you, don't react with criticism. They will see you as a good, tolerant person. Don't tell them it's okay either, that encourages the behavior. Just nod or show no reaction. Move the conversation forward-most people will feel guilty on their own. Criticism just makes them defensive and they rationalize instead. Act forgiving, but do not vocalize it. Do this by just ignoring the transgression completely. This will intrigue them even more.

11. Learn to fake empathy. To do that, realize what empathy is and what it is not. I used to have trouble making people feel better because i was sympathizing with them. I don't know what it feels like, but apparently just telling them somehow that you feel their pain is enough.

12. When approaching someone you don't already know, approaching from the side and come prepared with an opener question, usually related to the situation. And whatever they say they are doing, say you are doing the exact same thing (doesn't work in some cases, duh). This kind of creates an initial bond, which is just small enough to launch more personal questions.

13. Keep observing people's reactions to things and adjust accordingly. Some reactions are almost universal, so should become a part of your repertoire. 

14. When someone makes a joke, just laugh. Don't come up with another joke that springs off theirs if u don't genuinely find their joke funny.

15. Never, ever stare too long a people's faces. Learned this one the hard way. Occasionally, look up to gauge their reactions if u see through your peripheral vision that their expression has changed. I usually can see out of the sides of my eyes that their expression has changed, but I can't see how it has changed.

16. Always practice a new expression you are learning to fake in front of a mirror. I spent a few hours practicing my smile and timing it correctly after I failed the first time. The timing and depth of the expression must be appropriate. If you sense awkwardness, its your fault. 

17. I observed at first that people who laughed were more charismatic, so I started doing it a lot too. However, i got a lot of weird looks. Always wait from them to laugh first and then mirror them. Otherwise, risk laughing inappropriately. Once in class movie, a boy got shot in the knee and i started laughing because the boy did stupid things to deserve it. Apparently, no one else found it funny. 

18. Some young sociopaths have a tendency to be too nice, so they come off as obsequious. Don't keep offering to help them. It needs to be strategic and meaningful to them. So wait for them to ask you or if you observe cues in their body language that might signal their needs. Wait until they are down and help them up, but always pretend to empathize with them first.

19. Learn strategic complimenting. Young sociopaths are way too flattering. When you gather intel about someone and you observe that they have a trait they are proud of, don't compliment too much on it immediately. Just ask questions to seem interest and also act interested. However, later through your interactions, solicit advice related to their particular strength or just casually mix the compliment in with something else

20. Eliminate all "awkward sounds" from your repertoire. These are sounds coming out of your mouth that serve no purpose in communicating your ideas and make you look like an unsocialized person (and therefore not charming). This takes some work to do. Silence is preferable.

Mask of Sanity: Homosexuality and Sex

I realized that I referenced this Hervey Cleckley Mask of Sanity story in the book, but never posted it here. It's hilarious, one of my favorite, particularly because of the old-timey narration. I'm sure many will recognize some of their tendencies here:

In psychopaths and in many other people who cannot be correctly placed with the well-defined homosexual group, there are varying degrees of susceptibility or inclination to immature or deviated sex practices. In contrast with others, the psychopath requires impulses of scarcely more than whimlike intensity to bring about unacceptable behavior in the sexual field or in any other. Even the faintest or most fleeting notion or inclination to forge a check, to steal his uncle's watch, to see if he can seduce his best friend's wife, or to have a little fling at fellatio, is by no means unlikely to emerge as the deed. The sort of repugnance or other inhibiting force that would prevent any or all such impulses from being followed (or perhaps from even becoming conscious impulses) in another person is not a factor that can be counted on to play much part in the psychopath's decisions

The activities of a typical patient of this sort whom I once studied are highly illustrative. This 27-year-old man, honor graduate of a college despite great irregularity in his studies, had for a number of years followed a career so similar to those of the other patients cited that there is no point in going into detail. He showed no indications of ordinary homosexuality in manner, dress, physique, or in personality features. He had been rather active in heterosexual relations since about fifteen, his partners being professionals, girls of respectable family, and married women.

All of these relations had apparently been to him more or less equivalent and entirely without personal significance. He admitted having once or twice, and more or less experimentally, submitted to the wishes of a homosexual and also to a couple of blundering ventures into deviated activity while drinking with others apparently more like himself. These did not seem to give him any particular satisfaction, and there is reason to believe that he distinctly preferred what he did with women. To the patient, any idea that he might be a homosexual seemed absurd

In the absence of any persistent or powerful urge in this specific direction, the patient, apparently without much previous thought, hit upon the notion of picking up four Negro men who worked in the fields not far from his residence. In a locality where the Ku Klux Klan (and its well-known attitudes) at the time enjoyed a good deal of popularity, this intelligent and in some respects distinguished young man showed no compunction about taking from the field these unwashed laborers, whom he concealed in the back of a pickup truck, with him into a well-known place of amorous rendezvous. At the place he chose, "tourists' cabins" were discreetly set up in such a way that women brought by men to them for familiar purposes could enter without the possible embarrassment of being identified by the management. Despite these facilities suspicion arose, and the patient was surprised by the man in charge of the resort while in the process of carrying out fellatio on his four companions. He had chosen to take the oral role

When seen not long after this event, the young man was courteous but a trifle impatient about how long he might have to be hospitalized. He showed some concern with what use psychiatric examination might be in helping him avoid the term of imprisonment that would, according to the law, befall him if he should be convicted of the charges made by the proprietor and which he did not deny. This possibility did not, however, greatly alarm him

He had often evaded penalties for antisocial acts in the past, and he had a good deal of easy confidence. Although he expressed regret and said his prank was quite a mistake, he seemed totally devoid of deep embarrassment. On the whole, his attitude might be suggested by such phrases as "Well, boys will be boys," or "Now wasn't that a foolish damn thing for me to do." These were not his literal words, but they are congruent with his behavior. By some legal step, his family, whose members were wealthy and influential, succeeded in having him avoid trial. Finding himself free, he left against medical advice within a few days

As might be expected, in view of their incapacity for object love, the sexual aims of psychopaths do not seem to include any important personality relations or any recognizable desire or ability to explore or possess or significantly ravish the partner in a shared experience. Their positive activities are consistently and parsimoniously limited to literal physical contact and relatively free of the enormous emotional concomitants and the complex potentialities that make adult love relations an experience so thrilling and indescribable. Consequently they seem to regard sexual activity very casually, sometimes apparently finding it less shocking and enthralling than a sensitive normal man would find even the glance of his beloved. 

None of the psychopaths personally observed have impressed me as having particularly strong sex cravings even in this uncomplicated and poverty stricken sense. Indeed, they have nearly all seemed definitely less moved to obtain genital pleasure than the ordinary run of people. The impression one gets is that their amativeness is little more than a simple itch and that even the itch is seldom, if ever, particularly intense.

Along came Polly

More stories of Polly from our ADHD friend (there remind me of the Hervey Cleckley tales):

I have a million stories about that girl though.

I remember one time, my first year of college, we met this guy at the gym. I don't remember his name. We didn't even remember his name that night, just that he was a frat boy and he was a senior and he was cute and he liked us, particularly her but he was a flirt. She claimed him pretty immediately afterward, and that was fine. But one day he called her and said he wanted to see us, all three of us (he wanted Alex and me to come downstairs with her) so we did. He was obviously drunk, but he asked us to get in the car, and she just GOT IN. Even though he OBVIOUSLY had no business driving anywhere. Alex and I didn't want to get in, but Polly talked us into it somehow, I don't remember what she said, but we got in. As soon as we were in the car, he locked the doors. All three of us thought that was pretty creepy, so we asked him to let us out. He said no. We unlocked the doors. He locked them again and took off. 

He was doing at least 40, 50 mph down these little neighborhood streets, and we couldn't get out. He took us back to his house and finally let us out. He told his friends who were there that he'd brought us "for them." We told him, more or less, to fuck off and that we were going home. All three of us started to leave, but then he offered us beer, and Polly decided it was worth staying for a beer. A man forcibly drove away with us in his car, and all it took was a beer to convince her to stay. Then we asked he to leave and she said no, that she could handle it (she couldn't handle it, she was 120 lbs soaking wet and there were three large men in the house, but she was pretty sure she could handle it.) We went in because we were pretty sure she couldn't really handle it. Then they made us watch Robin Williams Live at the Met. it was a really surreal experience. I honestly expected something horrible to happen in that house, but no, we watched Robin Williams. They offered us Doritos and beer and made us watch Robin Williams (and yes it was MADE. One of us, I forget who, suggested we watch something else and they freaked out. One of the guys threw the remote across the room and they started screaming at us to sit down and watch the TV). 

Polly gave the guy a hand job while we were sitting on the couch, the guy and the three of us girls. Then we insisted we go home. The guy said he'd drive us, but only if Polly stayed behind. She tried to FIGHT him. He was this big guy and she punched him and bit him. He pulled her down a flight of stairs by her hair, put her in the car, and said he'd changed his mind. She KEPT trying to fight him from inside the car! She was pretty drunk at that point, granted. She'd only had one beer, but she was the biggest lightweight I've ever met in my life. During the course of our time in school we watched her get blackout drunk, pass out, from like three or four. But still, she was fairly certain, after one beer, that she could fight off three large men. She was comfortable enough to drink their beer, even though it was fairly clear that none of us had any control over the situation. We were locked in their house and it was their beer and they were bringing it out in glasses, not cans or bottles, so there's no way of knowing what they'd done to it. I did not expect to live through that night but when we got home, she was just like "Well that was sorta freaky, huh? Never seen anybody get so worked up about Robin Williams." I don't tell my parents very many of the stories about things that happened when I was with her. My dad REALLY likes her though. He says she's nice and funny.