Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Mass manipulation (part 1)

Recently I attended an "air your grievances" work meeting. I was only tangentially related, but was called in out of an abundance of caution or some other nonsense reason. People started asking questions and within minutes were erupting in angry accusations. Although each person's grievance wasn't much on its own, the sheer number of them surprised everyone there. People were incensed against management who remained heedless to the most pressing concerns (albeit other people's concerns), rigidly refusing to adapt any of their policies. Everyone left riled up with grievances that they never knew they had before. I thought this was absolute idiocy. I can't imagine a meeting being run more poorly. The idea that if people could only get together they could come to sort of an agreement is absurd.

When I have little insurrections in projects that I run, I target the biggest complainers individually. I schedule a meeting or write them a quick email saying things like, "I noticed that you seemed really frustrated by x." I let them talk for as long as they need, commiserating with them without necessarily committing to any particular position, i.e. not trying to overly justify or entrench myself in any particular position nor agree with their own position. As part of the commiserating, though, I focus on their feelings, "that must be so exhausting," or, "I understand, it's very demanding." I try to use words that sound sympathetic but also make the problem sound either surmountable or something that should be expected from such an important/valued position/employee. I figure that most people just need to vent, but I am also trying to subtly shame them, implying that they are being a crybaby and that they should toughen up. By isolating the potential instigators and stealing their thunder, I never give them the chance to speak publicly and gain support. Without a chance to speak publicly, everyone else is left knowing only about their own particular struggles, assuming that it may have more to do with their own personal failures than a larger institutional failure. Assuming that maybe theirs is an isolated incident, they don't divulge their shameful failure to their colleagues and the mutiny never reaches the necessary tipping point of participants.

205 comments:

  1. @M.E.:

    I agree. Whoever in your company made the decision to have a town hall like meeting for employees to address grievances is a fool. They should be terminated immediately for making such a blunder. In one swoop he just lowered a significant amount of the employee's moral and united them against leadership.

    I'm not sure this is possible in your business, but I compartmentalize everyone in mine. One time I made the mistake of having my top employee and the person running my supply route at my wedding since they were both pretty important to me and they both knew I was getting married. I almost had to or they wouldve been insulted. When my wife and I got back from taking some photo shoots in downtown I caught them exchanging numbers. They tried to explain that she was giving her number because he would need to contact her later to get some documents forged (She's also good at that). I scowled, but didn't say anything.

    When I was on my honeymoon in tahiti I couldn't use the phone. Meanwhile back in my country the supply had changed consistency yet kept the same strength. One regular customer, who was always a pest but picked up decent volume, complained about it being weak. When I got back into town I found out my employee had contacted the supplier and complained about it. The supplier let me know. I was furious. I told him to immediatley delete her number. He complied. I told him if he was ever in contact with other's involved in this company I would remove him. I called her and told her the same thing and twisted it around saying that my supplier was furious that she called him. I told her never to contact him again. She started going on about the forgery thing. I told them if they wanted forgeries then contact me and I would set it up between them.

    Compartmentalization is one of the most important things for me in life. It's better to keep people in your business relationships as isolated and seperate as possible. People should only know what they need to know, and if you can pull it off, they should pass every move through you before they make it. If someone circumvents you once it may be out of ignorance. Severely reprimand that person for their rebellion. If it happends twice strike that person down and make a example out of them, keeping your message consistent:

    If you work with me there are unimaginable rewards. If you betray me you will suffer.

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  2. These kinds of meetings are actually necessary for company advancement. You don't actually want an entire workforce composed of disgruntled or moderately inconvenienced employees. When employees aren't happy with their work environment they are less productive.

    Grievances should be aired and taken into consideration by management in order to increase the productivity of the workers. When it appears that management is taking care of the employees the employees will actually want to invest more time and energy into the environment because they become more invested in it.

    Ignoring and manipulating your employees into thinking they are subpar at their job is a good way to destroy morale and get poor work from the people you need to do business.

    Really bad business strategy. It'll backfire on your big time.

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  3. Wow I have a bunch of grey in this subject. I've dealt with lots ad lots of trying personalities at work and also recreation-ally.

    You have to take care of the trouble makers but keep the machine going. You want peace but you want productivity and you want to silent the pests or put them in a corner. I find that the pests often need to feel important.

    I'm gonna give the dog training analogy . -Put a backpack filled with rocks on a pitbull, put him on rollerskates and he'll feel important, useful and exhausted, have a nice meal at the end of the day, and go the fuck to sleep.

    Then you have people who want to do too much "good" but they don't know the whole picture. They're a cog in the wheel and they're fucking up your agenda. You can't tell them everything because they have loose lips..these people are smart and are "overqualified" frustrated bosses.

    You have to do what haven says and listen to them though. Some do have good ideas. And the silent ones are too afraid. You have to select out the few top thinkers, thank them for their important input and throw them a juicy bone. Money often talks. So do promotions, new titles, and perhaps new shiny spike collar.

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  4. Why are we all talking about this shit when we have other things we could be doing...Like talking about COCK!

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  5. all these emotions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  6. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

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  7. @Ukan

    You are a failure who sells drugs for a living, landed himself in jail, has nothing but disgust for his 'clients' and spends his days trying to pick apart anonymous faces on a sociopath site over the internet.......How does that feel? Or are you going to disillusion everyone with the air that, that's the life you wanted all along?

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  8. And who could forget the part where you tried to drive your wife to suicide?

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  9. All this beeping is making me dizzy!

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  10. Ukan is getting cocked.

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  11. UKan Low Functioning SociopathNovember 15, 2011 at 10:18 AM

    This is my theme song. DAMN YOU Listen




    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qlA2l8tWoU

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  12. :karate chopping::

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  13. UKan Low Functioning SociopathNovember 15, 2011 at 10:24 AM

    DAMN YOU Listen to my song or I will come and shove drugs down your throat and get you addicted. I am high functioning. Remember that.

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  14. don't get me excited

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  15. PREY ON ME PREY ON ME

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  16. Wouldn't it be something if the Anons actually had something intelligent to contribute?

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  17. Wouldn't it be something if Haven sucked everyones cock on S.W and took her sripping career to the next level?

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  18. It's getting hot in here, so take of all your clothes.

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  19. Are you even old enough to get it up?

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  20. no rip em off more fun that way

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  21. Are you young enough to get me up, Haven? *Shivers*

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  22. i hate you i hate you i want u ok fuck me

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  23. Ha! Haven makes comments about the lack of intelligence from the anons then makes comments like, "Are you old enough to get it up?"

    You're just as bad as these anons who talk filth..You may as well remove your account and post under anon.

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  24. Hello to my beautiful Cheeks. You are my girl, in this small corner of the world, hun.

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  25. ::rolls eyes::

    Remove my account? B/c commenting over at SW is obviously the only reason I have an account.

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  26. get me nice and high and you can ass play all night

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  27. Haven farted and blamed it on her pimp!!!

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  28. Keep rolling those eyes filth..

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  29. Frank, I am getting bored. Is this Hillside Strangler thing on, or not? Do you want me to consult with Gary before we make a decision?

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  30. The day I take a lecture on intelligence from a stripper is the day I die.

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  31. Go strangle yourself pussy..

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  32. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_LP4IU6XD4&feature=related

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  33. @Harv

    Hillside stranglers?....Bwahahah! Let me guess, you're some geek who was never payed attention to by the girls in high school and now your ego's all bruised and you're out for 'revenge'? Do us all a favour, get a life.

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  34. ::laughs:: Anons can be so easy/fun to rile. Keep entertaining me.

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  35. Why do people not attack Haven? She seems like an easy target. No offense.

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  36. Haven, If I saw you down a lane I'd stick a knife in your cunt and rape you. You'd beg for your life.

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  37. Anon 11:08am, Haven IS easy...That's why she's suddenly being targeted. She's annoyed because anon 10:51am called her out on her BS. Now, she's trying to pretend SHE'S the one who's finding us entertaining despite the fact that she claimed we have little intellect to contribute. She doesn't realise it but, she's being played with nicely. The fact that we have caught her attention gives us validation and easy material.

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  38. Everyone gets attacked here. There's only one person that could probably get under my skin though, and surprise surprise, you're not it. Called me out on my BS? Yes, clearly my making an impulsive statement means that anything I've said prior lacks intelligence. I have every right to say whatever I want, as do the anons.

    Keep validating yourself there 11:14.

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  39. *gentle love bites*

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  40. Haven, you can only comment here if you have an enormous ego. Which you lack.

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  41. Who could get under your skin, haven?

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  42. Her tattoo artist.

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  43. I was gonna say "your mom" but that's not bad 11:25.

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  44. To comment about ME's article. *I* would feel guilty if I engineered something like that. I am not judging her/him.

    I wish I was not so guilt ridden, to tell you all the honest truth. It is a burden. Does ME feel guilty when she/he engineers these things? Send a little bit of that free spirit my way, please lol

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  45. If we don't get under your skin then why the lengthy comment to ty do yourself justice?

    We don't have to validate ourselves, you're doing that for us...

    "Yes, clearly my making an impulsive statement means that anything I've said prior lacks intelligence."

    It's the same with anons. Perhaps they're in an impulsive mood? Who are you to call anyone unitelligent? You really are an impulsive little anon who talks trash from time to time and says something reasonably intelligent from time to time.

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  46. "Your mum" Her smarts really does show through.

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  47. Cock, cock, cock, cock. Do I sound smart yet?

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  48. Get you tits out for the lads, Haven!

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  49. I don't mean this as a diss, although it will sound like one, but can you IMAGINE being married to UKan *throwing up*

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  50. *Throws up with anon 11:36am*

    Did you have to?! I haven't eaten yet!

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  51. Why do Frank, Harv and Gary ALWAYS show up when they've asked each other a questions, hmm?

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  52. Something intelligent:

    I agree with M.E. on handling the complaints on a individual basis, letting them vent and sending them on their way. UKan's business is different and requires a more ruthless approach, so he is also correct. Can we get back to cock talk now?

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  53. Gary and Frank are my friends. Do you want to make something of it, HUH?

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  54. I will punch them out, Harv. Don't worry.

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  55. I was actually thinking and reading about strippers and the men that date them, seemingly exclusively, for a good part of this morning.

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  56. Don't hurt yourself, Frank.

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  57. Frank, are you saying you'd punch a woman then?

    Harv, you're not tough mate. You can't be. Not over an anonynous blog. Cheers.

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  58. Yes! Lets go back to cock talk :D I like the way you think!

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  59. @Medusa... I never understood the guys that came into strip clubs actually trying to pick up a stripper. (Or the ones that got bent out of shape when they finally realized strippers were really just in it to take their money. ) It seems like it would have something to do with the challenge or ego boost of 'getting something for free' that other men have to pay for. What did the article say?

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  60. I would not punch a woman, under normal circumstances.

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  61. Shizzle has arrived!
    So everybody look alive!

    I smack dat Ukan with my pimp cane.

    Every dawg cheered, and who could blame?

    Da bitch got up and tried to throw a punch.

    I says, "Nigger you crazy?" I decided to go wit my hunch.

    I backhanded his lil cherry blush cheeks.

    I spat in his face and called da boi weak.

    His bitch was cooking bread, by da time I arrived.

    I says, "Bitch how dare ya! Where's the high five?"

    Time to take charge, as Shizzle is bored.

    I think it's time I found my ho..

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  62. Then why would you punch us out, Frank?

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  63. The men I have talked to always saw dating a stripper or a porn star as a prize, although I know that is not true for every man out there that has dated either of the two.

    I am pretty sure they were only interested in their "talents" and liked to brag.

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  64. That's because most men are a bunch of needy, ego stroking dogs who appease their dick as much as possible....Oops, I got carried away...*giggle*

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  65. I am lord and master to the masses...AND, I can cook.

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  66. When I was in NYC I once made a date with a porn actor I liked a lot. Apparently he was also an escort. It was fun having sex with someone I used to masturbate to.

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  67. It wasn't any particular article, I was just thinking about it and looking around.

    And I mean people who aren't just trying to get laid, but people looking for relationships.

    Things I am specifically thinking about:

    1. Seems a good portion of these guys listen to Reverend Horton Heat, wear brimmed hats, have some kind of chin-dip goatee and Gonzo tattoos, and too many predictable Hunter S. Thompson obsessions.

    This describes my housemate's fiancee (who is also my housemate). He met her at a strip club while she was dancing. I guess he must have 'saved' her from it because she doesn't do it anymore, although apparently he loves strips clubs, used to frequent them often, and the rare times I've seen them go out (twice in the 6 months I've been here) it was to a strip club.

    He seems to have no problem catering to a little girl who, however charming, cannot/will not fend for herself, although she's much smarter than him. Something about wanting to be the 'protector' or 'savior', I guess, even at the expense of his entire life. Neither of these two have friends that they see or hang out with, ever. They talk every 5 minutes or so by phone or text all day while he works his doubles, with her mostly telling him how to do his job from her bed, which he seems to welcome. I find it all to be bizarrely codependant, although at first glance it seems really loving and supportive.

    I have a hard time deciding if this is highly unhealthy, or if perhaps they are made for each other and it's true love or whatever as they seem to accept everything just fine.

    2. I have this friend who I used to be really into years ago when I was a little dumber, who is very intelligent, but prefers strippers and models for whatever reason (I have many ideas about this). He is not of the sort in #1. He chalks it up to his interest in the "lurid and the profane". He is of the opinion that stripping is female empowerment (which is bullshit 99% of the time). I'm just as attractive if not more so than these women, and most likely more intelligent and I'm pretty sure I treated him a lot better, yet I wasn't good enough for him. He preferred to pine after stripper girls or girls who have rejected him. He seems to be having some sort of breakdown currently, which is why I am interested in this today.

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  68. Medusa=Narcissist.

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  69. I'm so delicious...Care to take a bite?

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  70. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  71. [repost, OCD]

    #2 is a very educated professional who was working directly under the previous mayor of the city (it's a somewhat major city) I live in when I was into him. Why he lowers himself to whats beneath him is beyond me... by 'beneath' I don't mean strippers specifically, but the emotionally unavailable/fucked up/unappreciative. He would have temper tantrums like a 3 year old about other women while I was on dates with him.

    I do know he has/had a bad relationship with his mother. So I guess it's not really "beyond me" why he chooses to be a masochist.

    Also dated a dominatrix who died of an heroin overdose.

    #1, was raised by a single mom, never met his father until like 3 years ago, immediately fell in love with him when he met him (!). I'm guessing he grew up having to take care of his mom as his priority. She seems kinda girlish and scattered, too. I've met her a couple times.

    Basically, I think I'm just starting to get really annoyed at how predictable most people are.

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  72. Medusa, have you any idea how fucking boring you are? Also, you seem to be talking to yourself, if you got to the point peeps might stick around.

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  73. Yes, I know I'm talking to myself, as most people here usually are, but I'm sure someone here with intelligence will provide a more interesting response than you just did. If not, I don't really care.

    I'm just here to waste time.

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  74. Moresko 12 lol


    I don't think people are boring at all, but fascinating.

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  75. I don't think people are boring at all, but fascinating.

    Exactly my reason for posting all this stuff.

    I have another essay, this one on narcissism, copied to my clipboard.

    Annoy me again, and I will ctrl + V on your ass.

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  76. Actually my verbosity is about to end in about 5 minutes, as I finally have a delivery waiting for me downstairs to cure my current mania.

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  77. @Medusa

    “Saved” them from that life style. I always loved those guys. Like that’s a lifestyle choice most women would make if they had better options? To me this comes across as a way to feel better about themselves. They may not have done much with their life but they can say they were someones ‘hero’ because they ‘saved’ them from a life of depravity. I find it a little presumptuous that they impose their own moral judgments on the whole thing though. Really, women do that job for one reason: to make money. If some guy thinks he’s saving her by offering her a better life with an endless supply of what she’s out to make she’s really just found a permanent mark. Good for her. 1 sounds codependent which is rarely healthy but hey if it works for them at least he’s not latching onto someone that can’t deal with it.

    2 sounds like an asshat. Though I have to say stripping can be very empowering. Not for all or even most women that do it, cuz let’s face it, many women are doing it as a last resort or are forced into the industry to survive off the streets. But if you find a decent club it can be a great experience. Guys think they’re getting something more than they are, when really the only one getting anything is the girl = his money. It can be seen as owning your body and using what you’re given to financial advantage. My self-esteem rocketed through the roof when I was stripping because I was the one in control of every guy that came in contact with me. He was mine, his money was mine, it was only a matter of how much I could pull out of his pockets. Men think women are the objects at strip clubs? They can think again. Guy 2 sounds like he wants things he can’t have, b/c it’d boost his ego to get the unobtainable. Classic with people that pine for things that aren’t within their reach.

    I have to say though, it’s not like all strippers/models are stupid (though a hell of a lot are). You get plenty that are putting themselves through school or working through a rough patch til real employment becomes available.

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  78. *nibble nibble* TASTY

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  79. Keep on biting into me...I love it...

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  80. @Haven
    Did you ever had sex for money? I guess when you work in a stripclub you constantly get offers to do so, and many women do both?

    I guess I would feel denigrated when I would have to strip, as it's so public, all these eyes ... I prefer the comfort of a secluded room with just two eyes looking at me and having control over the situation. (this isn't a moral statement, it's just how I feel about it)

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  81. My housemate views stripping as empowering in the sense that she viewed it all as an fascinating anthropological experiment. Sounds a bit like a convenient justification to me, especially since she has the typical stripper past of a crazy abusive childhood. I'm quite sure her subconscious motives lie elsewhere.

    I can see your point of view though, and she's said similar stuff, though I wonder if that is also justification as well.

    You seem to equate control with self-esteem in your last comment, requiring a sort of "us vs. them" dynamic to feel empowered. Like empowerment only exists in relation to another.

    I think, for the most part, both the men and the women are objects, and everyone is happy as pie to use and be used.

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  82. *chewing* your ear

    *biting**sucking* your neck

    *licking*down your chest

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  83. punch drunk on madness

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  84. @David... No, I never had sex for money though, yes, I was offered quite frequently.

    It's public, but it's also a choice you make. I love to dance and I love to be naked, so it wasn't really an issue for me. Plus I have a tendency to dissociate so it was like I was someone else up there anyways. No one there was seeing who I really was, they were seeing the persona I was acting out, so it didn't feel that intrusive to me.

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  85. @Medusa... "You seem to equate control with self-esteem "

    That's very insightful. For me control does equal self-esteem. When I am in control of myself that is when I am most comfortable. Knowing that I have control of a situation makes me feel good. That 'us' vs. 'them' dynamic definitely exists to extent. There are other aspects of it though that are equally as empowering. The body confidence I gained there alone was phenomenal.

    You may be right though. Everyone is out to objectify each other in those places, and let's face it, that's kind of the point. As long as everyone gets what they're aiming for what does it really matter at the end of the night.

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  86. Medusa, do you see sociopaths as perfect human beings or "supermen" or do you think they have many faults?

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  87. Perhaps it was the group setting which could lead to exposure coupled with a room full of authentic emotions that was disturbing as opposed to the complaint being purely the method/setting. In this type of setting utilizing an open air method, I can see how this scenario could potentially be threatening to one who desires to strictly control personal interactions in a grievance based setting. One can not as easily lie or back tract on statements in a group setting due to the sheer number of witnesses to the interactions. The energy required to mimic empathy to so many grievances simultaneously would no doubt be draining.

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  88. Haven, would you date a socio?

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  89. After dating a malignant narcissist I'd like to say no, but you never know.

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  90. Oh. Why do you think you attract these people?

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  91. I just seem to attract people in general. You're bound to run into a few bad ones when you meet as many people as I do.

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  92. He couldn't have been that bad. I mean your still alive and well, right?

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  93. Heh, he was definitely that bad. I'm healing, but not well. Though I am alive, no thanks to him trying to kill me.

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  94. Narcissist's love whores.

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  95. I'm inclined to agree as the only people narcissists love are themselves.

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  96. Narcissists are terrified of confident women.

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  97. Interview with a narcissistNovember 15, 2011 at 3:59 PM

    http://blog.womenexplode.com/2011/11/04/interview-with-a-never-married-almost-50-year-old-man.aspx

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  98. bpd = too much self hate

    npd = too much self love

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  99. Hello, all. Where are my home boys?

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  100. Hi Frank. Have you seen Harv, anywhere?

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  101. Just popping in. Hi Gary. Hi Frank.

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  102. team anonomi gets down

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  103. The three stooges.

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  104. Harv is the sharp one.

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  105. Every stripper I've ever met (doing hair), known (girlfriends of guy friends), or been related to (2 sisters and 1 cousin); has been a total lunatic. Any time they end up in a long term relationship, it's co-dependent. None of them are happy with their bodies (even after boob jobs), and all of then are overly emotional, sensitive, drug/alcohol abusers.

    You're just strong in your self-awareness Haven. You're also brilliant.

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  106. What is gary then?

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  107. Harv is the slow one with the big fists and tough talking...

    Gary is the street wise and sharp one with his experience as a corrupt cop....

    Frank is the leader who commands the boys with his logical plans and keeps them in line...

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  108. Frank is the ladies' man

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  109. Can I be one? I could be the one who uses their....seductive charms, shall we say...

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  110. Thanks Eden. I met a couple girls that were alright but yeah, the majority of them were totally off their rocker. Including the friends that talked me into doing it in the first place. Drama drama everywhere.

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  111. i don't want to share you delicious

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  112. plus i might eat you all up

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  113. Harv is substantially smoother than Gary and Frank. They are his cheerleaders.

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  114. Then i'm all yours....

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  115. Frank could make some lady happy.

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  116. Truth be told, I am a rotten cop. I play both sides. Fuck it, there is corruption, all around. I started honest, but nobody is honest, but a fool.

    Hi Harv. Hi Frank

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  117. are you married gary?

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  118. Ever since Puppet left me I am feeling a little down Gary. We had a fight over balls.

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  119. Are you hitting on him Muppet you ho bag. One fight and you leave me for a cop? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.

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  120. I am not your average cop, you could say.

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  121. over my fucking dead body tasty! i'll put your ghetto ass in the fryer before i let you take my delicious

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  122. Tell me more, Gary. Do you carry a big gun

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  123. Gary, we know you are special. Frank, just, told me this, the other day.

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  124. Of course, I carry a gun.

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  125. Dont let her sweet talk ya Gary. That bitch can't be trusted. "Do you carry a gun" my ass.

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  126. Your protectiveness over me is...delicious anon...

    Sorry Tasty, i'm taken..

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  127. ::Batting eyelashes::

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  128. SW is as dead as my beat. I come here for some good convo and I get this stupid shit about if I carry a gun. Good night

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  129. Hi Harv my beau! How are you gorgeous? Been a long day..Give me a back rub wih those rough, strong, manly, firm hands?

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  130. Look what you did Muppet. Get your blue furry ass in the car where it belongs so I can take you home.

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  131. Batting your muppet eyelashes? lol

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  132. That gay Frank is NOT me. Sorry, David, nothing personal, but Frank believes in the birds and the bees.

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  133. Frank is not a homo sapien.

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  134. What are you saying Frank? Birds and bees?

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  135. Oh No you don't! I am not going anywhere with you! It's over!

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  136. Look at you Muppet! You look like a crazy person standing out here. Just shut up and get in the car!! Why do you have to be so dramatic.

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  137. Frank has the bird put the bee in the proper whole.

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  138. @punkass anon

    Shut yer lame ass up. Delicious is mine, like all delicious lil treats. Besides, my tasty complements the deliciousness. You are just a lowly anon.

    @Frank

    You gay bro?

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  139. Frank is a homo sapien, only.

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  140. tasty, as in Big n Tasty? bitch please, you won't be talking like that with a broken jaw. I WILL WRECK YOU

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  141. You still here fool? Listen punk, I'm taking a bite out of precious little delicious right now. You lose. HARD.

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  142. Is this tru Delicious?Don't make me get the knife...if tasty is what you want then I will slice that fat bitch up and feed her to you one bite at a time. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT, HUH?

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  143. Unbelievably retarded. Where's Mr. Hat?

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  144. It's lies anon...I'm all yours, remember?

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  145. I believe Mr. Hat is up your ass, Eden.

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  146. Muppet come home

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9V2OpsTbAw

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  147. I can make you forget her :)

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  148. delicious i knew it wasn't true no one likes fat chicks anyways

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  149. But how could you threaten your delicious like that?

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  150. Delicious I would never, harm you.The thought of someone else, biting into you, made me crazy.

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  151. Bite me...I need it...

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  152. gladly

    *nibbling* your inner thigh

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  153. regarding today's topic:

    i prefer transparency and the direct approach. withholding information and preventing communications slows work down. it's a tactic usually adopted by people trying to hide their incompetency, or failure, or who have some weird control freak issues.

    and it's really hard to pull off if you don't have formal authority or a ton of charisma. i'm not impressed by it. if they can't air it publicly people will talk even more among themselves privately. if you have nothing to hide what is the advantage? a culture of fear (or oblivion) only serves the egos who foster it.

    but it can work in the short term as a bandaid approach until the next job.. :)

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  154. Mmm, I wonder how delicious my little anon is...

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  155. finger licking good

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  156. Goodnight, my delicious anon...We will speak again soon when i'm in need of some attention...

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  157. What cocktail am I?

    wv: pubcoons

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  158. Team Anonomi dominated today!

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  159. To anybody out there:

    Do you like to hate living with other people?

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  160. Both these scenarios are really bad approaches to employee disatisfaction. On hand, you've got a free-for-all bitch fest that offers no resolution and simply reinforces the hostile environment, and on the other hand, you have a a disingenuous boss who is patronizing and exploitive.

    To assume that your approach is effective, M.E., you are assuming that you will exact more productivity from an employee (as well as his co-workers), by simply "validating" his feelings while covertly shaming him (thereby, actually invalidating him). Then, you also assume that this will drive him to "toughen up" and do his work.

    It just doesn't work that way. Short-term, yes...but long-term no. You will not get his loyalty, you will not get his dedication, and worst of all, you will not get his best work. Worst-case scenario is that he will obtain employment where he feels he actually does have a voice, and here he will produce his best work: with your competitor.

    Best advice to you is to read Stephen Covey's "Seven Habits" and emulate this style of management. His approach reinforces the idea that the manager is only as effective and good as the collaborative efforts of the entire team as well as the individual links.

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  161. Medusa

    "Do you like to hate living with other people?"

    Short answer yes.

    Can you elaborate a little? I am reading this two different ways how it is phrased.

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  162. Lol. I meant, "do you like or hate."

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  163. LOL . I hate living with other people especially in a roommate situation. Sharing the food or designating shelves, stuff like that drives me bananas. I haven't had one pleasant experience now that I think about it. The apartments I had with roommates were always filled with loud drama or quiet tension.

    Having your own place is so much better.

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  164. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  165. The lack of privacy is really really getting to me.

    I can hear everything coming from their room. Down to the breathing. Not to mention sex, the annoying iPhone jazz piano alarm that goes off 50 times in the morning, all her sighs and moans (not even sex related) and the talking to herself and narrating her thoughts out loud or to her cats, her phone conversations wake me up and she doesn't think to close the door even if I make it obvious by closing mine, and the fact that the doors are always ajar because of the cats so I often have a direct line of sight of their bed and have to see them naked all the time. They don't seem to care as they have weird boundaries. I think they actually welcome this odd sort of intimacy. LIke it's a "family". Actually, one of the first things the dude said to me the day I moved in was "welcome to the family!" after something funny happened, and I'd known him maybe a total of 15 minutes total.

    I cannot stand it. I am a control freak when it comes to my environment, and I can't stand other people's messes, need a shitload of privacy and silence. Without it, I want to punch walls and I have a hard time not turning nasty or simply avoiding them for days. It's likely that I am the housemate from hell for some types of people. Luckily these guys accept this about me and for the most part it works... but still.

    I have always lived alone from the age 17 until I moved here about 5 years ago, except for short stints with a boyfriend or two.

    Even when I was in college I pretended I was crazy my first term just so that I could get my own dorm room.

    I need an incredible amount of solitude. It seems that a lot of people think it's weird, but I think it's weird that most people need other people around most of the time.

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  166. That situation would drive me nuts. I don't think its weird because I am the same way. Personal space and privacy is huge for me and I have always been like that.

    I think people who constantly need other people around them are uncomfortable with them self or their thoughts so it serves as a distraction.

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