
Recently I've been itching for a fight. I've been so focused on a project for work, really overcommitted, and just generally not scheduling in enough M.E. time for "special interests". As if on cue, a long term work entanglement seemed to be coming to a head.
I had not been seeing eye to eye with this person (CW) for a while (CW is neither directly over or under me, not even directly affiliated with my employer, but we worked on a project together). CW had been a consistent source of both fun and frustration over the period that we were working together. I ended up terminating the working arrangement, though, due to some irreconcilable differences and my desire to finally move the project forward. By now CW most certainly hates my guts and thinks I am evil. She is actually very perceptive about a lot of things about me that most people are blind to, but interpreted the signals in a paranoid/unrealistic way (conspiracy theories) instead of the normal/banal truth (two-faced and manipulative). Despite being let go from the project, this person still had some materials that I needed to finish up.
Back to now, this person had finally agreed to schedule a meeting with me to discuss the impasse. I did my homework before the meeting. I talked to someone else who was on the project and got her on my side (basically by making her afraid of this person, suggesting that this person is erratic, owned a gun, delusional, etc.).
CW came for our schedule meeting and sat down. We exchanged greetings and I waited for her to begin. When she didn't, I said something with slightly condescending overtones that I knew would set her off (she hates that I think I am better than she is). I wanted her to attack me, and she did. Put on the spot like she was, she started spouting out reasons why I was a terrible person and she would never give me the project materials. I started taking notes, which further infuriated her. CW's accusations boiled down to me being completely unethical, would abuse the project materials for my own nefarious (not really) ends, under-compensated her, and was attempting to pass off her work as my own. She left in a huff, saying something about expecting to have a formal complaint filed.
I couldn't have been happier! Armed as I was with these accusations, I shot off an email to my superior, something to the extent of, "I didn't want to have to bother you with this, but I have just received some very serious accusations of which I thought you should be aware." I gave her a quick, straight rundown of the facts leading up to that day. I then painted the accusations in the worst light I could. Finally, I took umbrage--the righteous anger of the innocent and put upon: "I have put up with her atrocious behavior before due to her exigent personal circumstances, but I refuse to be responsible for somehow trying to excuse this completely unwarranted and personally offensive affront on my character." So now of course I am the victim of these outrageous accusations. In fencing, we call that a "feint," one of the most effective moves when timed correctly, and I couldn't have timed it better. I slow played the hell out of that issue, giving in here, fighting back there, until finally the time was exactly right, she lunged in for what she thought would hurt me most, leaving herself completely unguarded.
For various reasons (including potential legal liability for the organization if I was found to have misbehaved), my superior will support me. The accusations are so ridiculous and unfounded that no one would take them seriously. Furthermore, in insisting that these accusations be resolved, I will accomplish my real goal which is to get those project materials back. Almost a year of having to deal with this person and finally my patience will pay off, with the added consequence of seeing her professional life effectively destroyed as she continues to try to sling mud at me and ends up being the only one tarnished.
In my defense (and in case any of the interested parties read this now or later), I am actually innocent of wrongdoing in this situation, but I also know that true guilt and innocence don't matter as much as playing your cards well.