Friday, November 25, 2011

Young love (part 2)

(cont.)
The next school year, she wasn't there, and to make up for it, we contacted each other everyday, for hours at a time. And things got weirder. When I asked her questions, she was vague, or would lie. That summer, her parents had started to get a divorce, compounding her strange behavior. She began to see a therapist, whom she seemed to become obsessed with. she would begin to defend her own crazy actions with whatever her therapist had said. She even told me at one point in a fight she didn't care what I thought and didn't have to because her therapist said so. Throughout our relationship, she had admitted her anger was often irrational and unjustified, but would then say that that didn't matter and it was ok. She would sometimes say she knew me best and that i knew her best. When we played games (which I eventually stopped doing), she would tell me she was analyzing how I thought, seeing my strengths and weaknesses. She often admitted to being abusive, saying I deserved better. Every time I tried to get space though, reminding her of this fact, she would become furious.

Despite all of this, there were moments when she was very loving and truly seemed to care. She even reported to my school I was suicidal after I told her I had suicidal thoughts. Would a sociopath do this? This was towards the end of our relationship, and we had been having some major problems. My PTSD was going untreated. I felt horrible, I couldn't deal with the world, and with our relationship. But I still felt like I would do anything I could to save it, to save us. A week later, I was kicked out of school, single and on my way back home to a shitty school.

When she broke up with me, she simply said that she was going to try and move on, and said that she didn't think that we were right for one another. Strangely though, two days before she had been insisting we were perfect for one another. The same day she broke up with me, she was talking about us living together and having kids. No fights happened between us between that time and the time that we broke up.

I begged for her to come back, pleaded and asked why she wanted to end things. She wouldn't address any of it. She got angry when I brought up-even when she sent me seven e-mails a day asking me how I was, where I was, saying that she loved me and calling me sweetie. When I addressed that, she would become furious, saying i was crossing boundaries by bringing up a topic that she didn't want to talk about at all. She even refused to read that one e-mail all the way through. Our fights became worse-she would call me pathetic, telling me she didn't want me, and that it was all a mistake. The situation was like a pendulum swinging back and forth between two different extremes with increasing frequency.

After three weeks, I couldn't take it anymore, and cut off communication.

The pain was so bad. I ate almost nothing for two weeks. I cried all the time. I felt miserable. I couldn't understand any of this. I still don't.

462 comments:

  1. "Despite all of this, there were moments when she was very loving and truly seemed to care. She even reported to my school I was suicidal after I told her I had suicidal thoughts. Would a sociopath do this?"

    No. A sociopath either wouldn't care, or they would encourage you to off yourself. This girl is a borderline.

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  3. This girl has no sense of identity whatsoever. Sounds like she's trying to find one (via therapy) but instead she's using it as an excuse machine and she's going about applying it all wrong, thinking that she's being strong and standing up for herself and creating boundaries or whatever. But she's doing it really haphazardly, and doesn't really understand what "boundaries" really mean.

    She's just trading your backbone for the therapist's backbone. She doesn't have one of her own, and it sounds unlikely that she ever will.

    Of course, I wonder what her side of the story is. How much of what she's fighting against is imaginary or real. But it seems like intimacy triggers massive confusion for her, and she becomes engulfed by whoever it is she is obsessed with, whether it be you or the therapist. I'm sure at some point she'll feel 'betrayed' by the therapist, decompensate, and then eventually find someone else to engulf her until she freaks out yet again.

    Without an engulfment, she's a messy bag of flesh that can't stand up. With engulfment, she's still a bag of flesh but sorta looks whole, but it's just the scaffolding behind her propping her up.

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  5. Socios can be the most caring people you've ever met when it suits them to be, especially when they know they can withdraw and reestablish that caring at will, depending on the level of pain they wish to cause.

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  6. Michael Martin PlunkettNovember 25, 2011 at 1:32 AM

    look! i changed my name again! to michael!

    i got bored with richard he was my hero for a long time almost a week he killed the 250 men including jimmy hoffa tortured them with rats wuld take the bullet for his wife but now its time to put richard to rest

    and why- because michael IS me- a perfect discription read the plot summary:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killer_on_the_Road

    a perfect discription i too used to get in trouble spying on the neigbors watching old people have sex everything fits including the child genius part they say i have IQ80 a little less than average but thats not fair i got destracted taking the test i have the attention deformity

    and after they have made the movie about me thats how i want to go i will will my self to brain death with my mental prowess

    i have to get this book from somwhere i dont read a lot of books but this 1 seems like a good read i have lots of times as ukan says i am still the teen ager lots of time to think things through perfect my techniqes to become the paragon of evil

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  7. "The pain was so bad. I ate almost nothing for two weeks. I cried all the time. I felt miserable. I couldn't understand any of this. I still don't."

    Well, now you do.

    Some people are way impaired on empathy. Bees and bats see differently, feel differently and need differently.

    T'would be a challenge to mate them in a pair. Whatever creature you are, search yourself and understand your nature. Live on it and you'll be fulfilled. You'll cross many different creatures in life. Sometimes firendships will be possible, sometimes they wont. You'll know. Stay tuned to yourself and you'll know.

    Good luck, happy bee.

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  8. Zwanq is now comparing himself to Jews in WWII because some people on the internet made fun of her. Dumb, cuz wouldn't a psychopath prefer to compare herself to Hitler? She just made herself look even more pathetic.

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  9. "Socios can be the most caring people you've ever met when it suits them to be, especially when they know they can withdraw and reestablish that caring at will, depending on the level of pain they wish to cause."

    Please stop redefining psychopathy.

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  10. She just sounds like your typical, insecure girl.

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  11. I enjoyed the article, but it's strange how none of the readers in M.E's article, seem to have any overly psychopathic behaviors. Usually it's just high school shenanigans like cheating or lying.

    Perhaps she doesn't want psychopaths to be seen as heartless monsters. Which I believe is wrong. Personally, I think psychopaths are in fact heartless.

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  12. She's just trading your backbone for the therapist's backbone. She doesn't have one of her own, and it sounds unlikely that she ever will

    Why do you think she won't? These are young people. What is it that gives you pleasure being a massive deflator, Medusa? I'm guilty of it sometimes too, so Id like to know. I know it's compulsive with me.


    Therapists will often side with their patients to reparent them, to give them a proper respect for the self. Maybe this chick's partner is getting in the way of the therapist's progress with her.


    Without an engulfment, she's a messy bag of flesh that can't stand up. With engulfment, she's still a bag of flesh but sorta looks whole, but it's just the scaffolding behind her propping her up.

    The truth is it is a long haul to independence, to put flesh onto the scaffolding.

    Yeah this poster's relationship is a codependent, abusive piece of shit,

    but I doubt a self-aware borderline finds it easy to subject a partner to the insanity of the trainwreck in their head.

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  13. Zwanq is now comparing himself to Jews in WWII because some people on the internet made fun of her. Dumb, cuz wouldn't a psychopath prefer to compare herself to Hitler? She just made herself look even more pathetic.


    ::laughs:; It wouldn't be the first time a psychopath played the sympathy card.

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  14. Michael Martin PlunkettNovember 25, 2011 at 3:30 AM

    of course psychopaths have hearts dont be rediculous 1 cannot function without 1 it pumps blood to the brains

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  15. To the socia the line between reality and fantasy is almost non-existent

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  16. I'M SO FUCKING SUPERFICIAL AND SHALLOW THAT IF MY AUTHOR DON'T DRESS GOOD! I DON'T READ THE BOOK!

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  17. Why do you think she won't? These are young people.

    You might be right. I was gonna post again and give her more leeway because she is young. But you know, people don't really change their patterns all that much over their lifetime. She might get better and grow up, but I don't know how much.

    What is it that gives you pleasure being a massive deflator, Medusa?

    Are you being defensive about this because you are BPD? I'm allowed to have opinions, you know. Even if they differ from yours.

    but I doubt a self-aware borderline finds it easy to subject a partner to the insanity of the trainwreck in their head.

    First of all, she doesn't sound self-aware. At all. She scratching in the dark trying to be, but she's not. Second of all, just because you are self-aware doesn't mean you won't still have pathological behaviors.

    No one said anything was easy. Clearly it wasn't for this girl, what with her, "Sweetie! Go away! I love you!" business in the 4th paragraph.

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  18. I'M SO SUPERFICIAL AND SHALLOW THAT I GIGGLE WHEN I SEE DISABLED FOLKS!

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  19. I'M SO SUPERFICIAL AND SHALLOW THAT I'M BOASTING ABOUT IT!

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  20. It's not the disability that I find pathetic.

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  21. I'M SO FUCKING SUPERFICIAL AND SHALLOW THAT IF MY AUTHOR DON'T DRESS GOOD! I DON'T READ THE BOOK!

    I actually kind of like that expression.

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  22. Michael Martin PlunkettNovember 25, 2011 at 4:19 AM

    why wuld zhwhawk want to compare himself to the kikes doesnt she know they have a conspiracy against humanity it has been proven hitler wrote about it in his book main kamf

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  23. If this gave you a raging hard on, your a socio.

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  25. @Medusa

    First of all, she doesn't sound self-aware. At all. She scratching in the dark trying to be, but she's not.

    You're painfully right. There's so much work to do it feels like decades long.

    But I'd just like to see a lifted heart on you, ma'am.

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  26. I understand the girl, completely. I felt the same way. My larger question is WHO would get hooked up with a relationship like that? What is the missing piece in the hookee, so to speak. Is there one? Maybe, the "missing piece" is being human and wanting to be loved.

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  27. Yesterday, when I was asking about the "definition" of empathy, I was not looking for a literal, Googled definition. I want to understand what is behind the eyes of a sociopath, what is in his mind/soul/being, all of it. Definitions are the bare bones starting point for what I want.

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  28. SOUNDS LIKE AN ORGANIC PORTAL VAMPED YOUR ENERGY PRETTY HARD! You should open your heart to divine love and begin the healing process, stay away from people like this, you don't need them, you have everything you need inside of you, I hope you read this, I feel compelled to post this in hopes you do and it has a positive impact. Get in touch with spirit, and grow love in your heart, smile and relax and feel love in your heart then grow it outward all over the universe. Avoid negative influences and listen to your higher self. I think its no mistake the word verification is 'lovin' and hope this will reach you with impact. Don't seek love from others, love everything and everything will love you. Make sure you discern the difference between REAL love, the pure feeling in your heart, and societies twisted version of love and its expression, giving gifts is not love, having sex is not love, love is a universal energy felt in the heart. If you have that feeling, don't take it for granted, because not everyone has it and it is the ultimate power (the one sociopaths lack)

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  29. As deduced yesterday... this chick is Borderline. Classic and low-functioning.

    I agree with what Medusa said. She's incredibly unaware of her self and lacks any clear identity.

    "The situation was like a pendulum swinging back and forth between two different extremes with increasing frequency."

    I Hate You, Don't Leave Me... that's all over this girls behavior. Push and Pull is trademark Borderline behavior. 'I need you to define me and give my life value, No, wait, you're smothering me and I'm losing my self when I'm around you, leave, No, wait, I'm alone, empty and hollow without your love, come back'.

    "She often admitted to being abusive, saying I deserved better."
    I've never been abusive, but I routinely tell my partners that they deserve better. It's a way to justify our wanting to back away and leave without feeling so guilty.

    She's Borderline, you're co-dependent.

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  30. "I want to understand what is behind the eyes of a sociopath, what is in his mind/soul/being, all of it"

    There nothing behind it. A vacuous wasteland.

    A sociopath only has compassion for himself. I think we all would like to believe that the sociopath is some lost soul and therefore redeemable, but it's not the case.

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  32. Anon 6:05
    I don't agree, from my limited interaction, and I WILL say limited. I must experience things before I can draw conclusions, for myself. I am getting to know a female sociopath, very well. That way, there is no chance for romantic feelings to cloud it. I did not get to know her for any kind of experiment. I liked her and now I love her. I am heterosexual, through and through. It is not a sexual things. Love is really a heart thing, anyway.

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  33. "but I doubt a self-aware borderline finds it easy to subject a partner to the insanity of the trainwreck in their head."

    @Bella... for all intents and purposes I'm very self-aware and you're right, I'm in a constant battle with myself concerning subjecting my partners to my brain and behavior. Sometimes I think it's easier for the lower functioning beepers because they can just let themselves react and it feels 'normal', it doesn't have the added layer of complication of knowing the thoughts aren't rational, but still being unable to control them completely.

    "First of all, she doesn't sound self-aware. At all. She scratching in the dark trying to be, but she's not. Second of all, just because you are self-aware doesn't mean you won't still have pathological behaviors."

    Medusa has it pegged though, this chick is not self aware at all. At least she's in therapy and attempting to get some kind of help. That doesn't mean she'll be able to realize what kind of help she needs but at least she's getting some kind of guidance. Pathological behavior is pathological for a reason. There are plenty of things I know I do, it doesn't stop me from the thought patterns that manifest unwanted and unwarranted. Just because I know the problems are there doesn't mean I can snap my fingers and make them go away. Being self-aware allows you to at least recognize the problems occuring and TRY. Self-awareness is a necessary tool to change, but change takes a long time.

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  34. Michael Martin PlunkettNovember 25, 2011 at 6:23 AM

    monica it sounds like ya been seduced ya will feel differently when she gets bored with ya cuts ya out of communications with out explanations

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  35. Monica, psychopaths are angry people, they have a chip on their shoulder and a smugness. You will get hurt.

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  36. @Micheal I am totally open to any possibility. The wonderful thing about a relationship with a female is that the hurt of my being dropped, like a hot potato, if that happens, will not come NEAR to the hurt when you have gut level passion with a person. It will, still, hurt and a lot, a very lot. However, not to the degree that the girl in this article expresses.

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  37. Here are some journal entries written by a psychopath. You can almost feel his rage and desire for power jump off the pages. He also mocked other shooters for the small amount of victims they killed, which gives you a sense of his grandiosity. It's clear that he was no genius, but he believes himself to be far smarter than anyone else, also common in psychopaths. His sycophantic friend was seen as eccentric and an outcast, but Harris fit in and was viewed as ordinary.

    "One psychiatrist linking Harris with possible psychopathy is Dr. Frank Ochberg, a psychiatry professor at Michigan State University who was involved in an FBI school-shooting symposium held shortly after Columbine and who also made trips to Littleton, Colo., for more than a year after the incident “to help Columbine heal,” he says. Ochberg believes that the two killers, Harris and 17-year-old Dylan Klebold, were a “deadly duo” who probably wouldn’t have done what they did without the other. Whereas Klebold was depressive and hot-headed, Ochberg says, Harris was “cool, cold and calculating,” glib, showed little reaction to discipline and was easily able “to read people” and ingratiate himself to others.

    “I do believe Harris was well on his way to being what we would call a psychopath,” he says. “He showed very little conscience.”

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  38. Monica, then if it isn't an experiment, why the pursuit?

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  39. I do not EXPERIMENT with people, as your comment implies. This girl has never had anyone to whom she can show her true self. I want to learn about what it means to be a sociopath. We formed a bond. Aren't all relationships formed from connection, sharing and caring. Why is this different?


    That being said, I don't like your contentious tone, and I will not answer you, again.

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  40. "Eric Harris viewed himself as brighter and more insightful than virtually everyone else. He looked down on the masses of humanity as unthinking conformists. He celebrated instincts over society’s conventions. He rejected traditional values as meaningless concepts. He believed he was going to kick-start natural selection and eliminate inferior beings. He created an ideology that in his mind justified his desire for destruction."

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  41. @Monica... You may have formed a bond, but you have a motive, so your intentions aren't exactly pure.

    If she really is a sociopath she may or may not actually care about having someone to 'really show her true self' to. It sounds like a way for you to justify an exchange of getting the information you want from this experience.

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  42. What relationship has no self interest? Are you Mother Teresa, Haven? I doubt it, with all due respect.

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  43. What's disturbing about the journal is he was completely friendly and normal to everyone on the outside, while he was writing down these vicious ego-maniacal rants.

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  44. @Monica,

    I'm very interested in your search for answers, and hope that you will continue to post your insights on here.


    @David,

    I feel the same way, and I'm not a sociopath.

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  45. Mother Theresa? Darlin, I'm the devil in a little dress. It's just an observation that I was curious about.

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  46. Projection:

    I bet most of you fuckers cant even think that deep, so that is why you must die. how dare you think that I and you are part of the same species when we are sooooooo different. you arent human you are a Robot.

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  47. Touchy, touchy. You are protecting your science experiment. Does she make you feel like you have superpowers? How dare I make comments on your pipeline.

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  48. "I bet most of you fuckers cant even think that deep, so that is why you must die. how dare you think that I and you are part of the same species when we are sooooooo different. you arent human you are a Robot."

    omg that sounds like something ukan would say lmaoo

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  49. Interestingly, despite his pursuit of girls, his journal says nothing about ever being in love or wanting to find love. In contrast, Dylan Klebold's journal is full of passages about self injury and his pursuit of love and his love for certain girls. Eric's journal suggests he was interested in sex, not love. Eric wrote about his fantasies of tricking girls he knew into his room and raping them.

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  50. I just watched David's latest video (I'm sure you're thrilled at the attention, Dave).

    David, I can't read any of your comments in anything but that Rowan Atkinson-esque performer's voice, now into eternity.

    Also, you look a bit like a snapping turtle.

    For once, I'm not actually insulting or trying to draw out a reaction. I was too busy sort of enjoying the "I'm a bumbling fop, look at me go" schtick and the (god-willing) hammy desire to be diagnosed.

    Color me fucking dumbstruck.~

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  51. "Interestingly, despite his pursuit of girls, his journal says nothing about ever being in love or wanting to find love. In contrast, Dylan Klebold's journal is full of passages about self injury and his pursuit of love and his love for certain girls. Eric's journal suggests he was interested in sex, not love. Eric wrote about his fantasies of tricking girls he knew into his room and raping them."

    the mind of a socio is full of self preservation. he didn't want to show weakness.

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  52. The girl who wrote the story sounds like a drama queen and projecting. The other girl basically responded to her love initially but was turned off after a point as a lover while still wanting to remain as friends and cared for the friendship. The one writing the post is so needy, beyond belief. Eyes blinded with love is better put.

    The most interesting in the story is a school's response to a suicide alert:
    "A week later, I was kicked out of school, single and on my way back home to a shitty school."

    Quite sociopathic from the girl's point of view. But, there is a god chance the school saw through her bullshit and decided she was not a good investment of their time and recommended a lower stress school for her level, which she trashes.

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  53. The very last line:

    "I hate you people for leaving me out of so many fun things. And no don't fucking say, "well thats your fault" because it isnt, you people had my phone #, and I asked and all, but no. no no no dont let the weird looking Eric KID come along, ohh fucking nooo."

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  54. Haven said:

    "Pathological behavior is pathological for a reason. There are plenty of things I know I do, it doesn't stop me from the thought patterns that manifest unwanted and unwarranted. Just because I know the problems are there doesn't mean I can snap my fingers and make them go away."

    God, yes! This really resonates with me. I just became self-aware (of certain antisocial tendencies) and thought the abusive cycles might stop. They haven't. I am still at a loss as to how to deal with my toxic anger. I wish I knew how to sublimate it effectively or eliminate it altogether.

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  55. do you think he was a socio, medusa?

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  56. Of course, at the time it was unknown that Eric Harris was a complete and total sociopath who would have grown up to be a serial killer or the guy in the Marines who goes insane in the field killing Iraqis and has to be put down by his fellow soldiers. Or that his lover, Dylan Klebold, was a closet homosexual who let Eric fuck him in the ass and followed him with his plot, with Eric manipulating Dylan's emo-ness.

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  57. Alterego

    I'm no ASPD but anger and rage are big problems for me. The thing that helps me most are:

    - Paying attention to the scenerios and events that trigger my anger.

    When you recognize the situation, people, events, etc, that are likely to trigger your anger you can attempt to avoid them, or remove yourself from the problem when you realize it's occuring. This won't stop your anger necessarily but it'll help control the expression of it, help control taking it out on other people.

    - releasing it in a more constructive way.

    I'm something of an exercise fanatic. When I'm extremely pissed off I take it out on a punching bag or pull on my running shoes and fly as fast as my feet can carry me. Or oddly, I'll start to clean maniacly.

    Releasing your anger is ok. The trick is really to redirect it into a place that is less destructive to people around you and yourself. It's better to break a wall (inanimate object) than a persons face. Control comes in time, once you begin to recognize what rips your anger in the first place.

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  58. @Post Modern
    Snapping Turtle ouch
    I had a visual of you judging the Miss America contest.

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  60. They really hated Marylin Manson and his music, an irony since Manson took part of the blame because angry parents mistakenly believed that the two fags loved his music. They also hated Hitler, or at least Klebold did. Harris meanwhile admired both Hitler AND Osama Bin Ladin, with Harris regularly IMing Bin Ladin and telling him all about the various mass murder schemes that Harris dreamed up at night while masturbating to crime scene photos he downloaded off of the internet. Most notably, Harris is the one who gave Osama the idea of flying planes into buildings, making Eric Harris the REAL man behind 9-11. Even more interesting was that he was a Jew. In addition, Klebold was born on 9/11.

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  61. Right back atcha. Or should I say Atzsche?~

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  62. Do you REALIZE how and why you are a sitting duck for bullying? Do you care, first of all? If not, the discussion is moot.

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  63. Gee Medusa, if the cops are saying it's okay to pepper spray peaceful protesters just sitting around bothering no one.... CLEARLY it's ok for someone to use pepper spray to defend the very merchandise that a mob of angry shoppers is trying to attack right from under the watchful arms and eyes of someone who NEEDS a new LCD TV more than life itself, hahahaha.

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  64. I don't do Black Friday shopping. Too damn annoying and people turn all fucking crazy for sales.

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  65. TNP I'm contemplating it. I desperately need boots for work. This is the one day I have free and won't be travelling.

    However I also know that malls and stores filled with psycho mobs turns me moderately homicidal and I may spike a small child in the head.

    I'm torn.

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  66. What gets me is when people get trampled trying to get the newest video game.

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  67. I kind of want to get that Saints Row game I keep seeing commercials for on TV. Looks like good, mindless fun. I have a PS3 but it's been my designated Netflix bitch almost exclusively. The last game I got was Red Dead Redemption, pretty fun.

    I need some new shoes, too. I might wait until Sunday, though.

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  68. Michael Martin PlunkettNovember 25, 2011 at 10:36 AM

    i believe eric harris just wanted to be loved

    if somebody wuld have given him the hug the catastrophy wuld have been avoided

    i blame the society for not giving him the hug

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  69. I don't get love I can't care for peeps that love me so I look for lovers that can't? Why is being a beeper so confusing??

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  70. The beepers self with it's amorphous nature sounds like it would be awful, for the person.

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  71. What is amorphous nature

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  72. I'm about to flip the hell out. I can't stand being here one more second.

    Maybe facing the shopping mobs would be a good way to vent some aggression. I don't even need a 2 dollar waffle iron but the excuse to throw some elbows might be good.

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  73. Sure it can be yes but the art of shape shitfting can be usefull there is pros and cons for many things

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  74. I was thinking. SW is like a voluntary asylum, to check into where everyone accepts to some dysfunction, despite they occasionally fight. Really cool. I was also thinking, David in its own weird way maybe this place is a part of your support system, you like it here. I like it here too. Feels like I am around my family, since my folks (parents and siblings) are represented in some way, yet I am in the safety of being away from need to give attention.

    Something funny happened the other day. An older guy poked his index finger into my breast while keeping talking as if I would not realize this was not by mistake. Later he said he was curious if those were real and made slurping sounds and a face who'd love some sucking. I said nothing, just left after finishing the work at hand. Would be so easy to play him, and enjoy some oxytocin but then what.

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  75. Anonymous Bella said...

    Sure it can be yes but the art of shape shitfting can be usefull there is pros and cons for many things


    I 100% disagree, Bella. For the person, it is a nightmare imo

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  76. Haven

    Have fun I guess? I hate large shopping crowds.

    Sceli

    "Something funny happened the other day. An older guy poked his index finger into my breast while keeping talking as if I would not realize this was not by mistake. Later he said he was curious if those were real and made slurping sounds and a face who'd love some sucking. I said nothing"


    What is up with you letting random freaks touch you?

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  78. I decided to say it nicer: Where do you work that there are dudes like that hanging around poking breasts?

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  79. Don't forget the slurping and sucking face ... Is this a reoccurring issue for you Sceli? What is it you get from random disturbing encounters?

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  80. Michael Martin PlunkettNovember 25, 2011 at 11:23 AM

    seduce the geezer and take his money haha

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  81. Sceli= no backbone

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  82. :) these things did not happen at work. first was some fast food place that I had never been to. just an impulsive why not get some burger/fries for a change kind of thing. had not eaten any for at least three years.

    this one is someone who's known me for at least ten years. apparently he'd been fantasizing about doing this. now he looks at me from a distance and probably hopes to get within an arm distance to me again, while knowing it surely won't happen. these guys know when they are out of line.

    the reason you heard both is because both events are so off the charts things in my life that shocked me. and probably more than the guys, what shocked me is how I just quietly let both go, let them keep face as Japanese would say. I was completely flat emotionally, the shock was intellectual. This actually ties to the twitter today, when these people don't mean anything to us it is not easy for them to stir an emotional response.

    i do miss the oxytocin, though. have not run into a sexy intellectual lately.

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  83. Are you being defensive about this because you are BPD? I'm allowed to have opinions, you know. Even if they differ from yours.

    Yes, and touche.

    I still want to know why you delight in deflating. I mean I do the same thing. I think it's about showing people how clever I am. I'm not more clever than most people if I think calling people out for sport is fulfilling.


    What is the long term payoff? Are you writing a paper on interactions between assholes? Are you training to be a psychologist?


    Me, I think I get off on playing with the big boys because it's nearly impossible to be taken seriously in real life in my day to day. I am so fucking bored.

    Oh man would I love to gather enough strength to not give a fucking shit. Men are intimidated by like this and women are afraid of this.

    Boring!

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  84. no backbone? so silly that comment, knowing me and how men relate to me. i have to say i do have that impact on them, meaning, i never understood my gf's who complained that their bf's were not going down on them.

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  85. Bella, is that all to me? WTF? translate if all to me.

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  86. Bella, never mind, just saw some ongoing issue you have with some anon.

    this twitter:
    "One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing.

    I was kind to these guys with my treatment. Not my usual when offended by people I care about. Both guys were poor little nobodies, why would I bother. The twitter just reminded me of the recent story. No big deal.

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  87. If it doesn't bother you Sceli, then OK I guess, although your reasoning does sound like you are making excuses for these peoples rude behavior.

    I am the opposite, I need my space and I don't like it when people touch me, so the story is shocking to me.

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  88. Defensive is the wrong word.

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  89. Post, I had a dream last night that you mailed me a book.
    And glad you've join ed the judgement cloud with your opinions Medusa.

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  90. @TNP... "here" is back in the town I grew up with my family. It's awful and stifling and smothering and I want to tear the paint off the walls.

    @Sweets... the only fun I'm likely to have is if my best friend calls me and tells me her fiance will let her out tonight. But she's BPD too so this is likely not going to happen.

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  91. Monica let me tell you about trying to tame or train a dog who doesn't speak English..

    You're at the dog park and you see a poodle trying to stay there. The owner wants to leave..Poodles are the smartest, most manipulative asshole dogs.(I mean they should all just be put to sleep, right?)

    You watch the owner try to leash his own dog for hours. It's comical. But there is a smug satisfaction when the owner tricks the dog into leaving.

    You want to control a dog whose highlight of the day is one upping the person who feeds it. I mean total fucking assholes, they are.

    You want to control the socio for the challenge? Are you into power games?

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  92. Scelli, I can't believe you're that weak.

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  93. sweet, i'm one of those hourglass blonds yet far too brainy for my looks. men who know me know how to keep their hands off, has never been an issue. these two were totally hopeless cases, their dare was based on their weak positioning in the picture, you know they have nothing to lose kind of men, there is nothing going for them.

    nevertheless, both the dare and my quiet handling of the issue were intellectually interesting for me. nothing more.

    as women we have a lot of power, overreaction often come from fear not power. in both cases I had no question in terms of where the power was.

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  94. MaryK, you are a joke in many ways, this one is also flying by you. That's ok.

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  95. No, I am attempting to understand my issues. I am not power hungry.

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  96. Im sure that monicas little friend would really like the fact that you all are warning her away. Especially if she did put effort into seducing her.

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  97. Lol. Don't worry scelli. I'm laughing.

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  98. @Sceli... overreacting IS often a problem with women, but you didn't react at all... this is also a problem.

    That guy crossed a major boundary and invaded the space of your body. You should have take that finger he used to poke you with and broken it in two. There's nothing acceptable about him.

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  99. Why though? I don't understand.

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  100. Don't you hate it when you have a guest and you tell the guest : My cat is ferral, he will bite you. And your guest thinks it's all about being gentle and caring, and that he has special powers to make the cat like him..he knows something everyone else doesn't.

    That's Mother Theresa complex

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  101. And there's nothing acceptable or intellectual about the way you acted. You're trying to justify it as superior because you're a narcissist.
    I'm a passive easy going, laid back person, almost to a fault, and I would never have allowed someone to do that, let alone reacted a apathetically. You have no self respect if you've let it happen to you twice. And you even allude to the fact that you uwere surprised in the way you handled it, implying a degree of longing for dealing with it better.

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  102. Monica, oh. That's cool.

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  103. Sceli submissives who feel they can have a touch o power by topping from the bottom fall into this trap.

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  104. Soooo will anyone ask ManiaAzer to come talk to me?

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  105. If a funky Monica comes on like the above one, it is not I lol

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  106. My friend is a sociopath and I try not to agitate her on purpose because she will bite.

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  107. o i get it now u think i m lying to u and using

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  108. To the socia the line between reality and fantasy is almost non-existent.

    Really? Wonder if it's the schizoids who mix fantasy and reality too liberally and the sociopaths are doing it for a purpose.

    Wv: Chess
    (really)

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  109. MaryK, I'll go by this twitter with you too. I'm not interested in conversing with you and will be kind to you by leaving you alone like I did to these guys.
    "One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing."
    Oh, say hi to Shrek.

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  111. Haven, for some people leaving them alone is the worst thing you can do to them. I know how to play that hand very strategically. Anger and its following reactions, or any need to teach these people anything when you know you don't have to interact with them is the best hand to play sometimes. Silence teaches to people a lot anyways.

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  112. Haven, I did laugh at that break his finger. The poor guy has had three major surgeries last year, the chances are he won't make it for another year.

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  113. I definitely know the power of silence and avoiding a scene. I had a "best friend" in high school who was the loudest bitchiest thing I'd ever met. When we finally had the final fissure in our relationship she blew up, caused a scene, and threw a temper tantrum. I looked her square in the eye with one eyebrow cocked, turned, and walked away. She needed the attention and I'll be damned if I was going to give it to her. Ignoring her was the worst possible thing I could have done to her.

    I have major issues with phsycial boundaries though. I do tend to let a lot of things go silently, but I just don't think I could have allowed someone to think that kind of action was acceptable. I hope he doesn't try it with you again.

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  114. david, I missed your last video, but I find the snapping turtle to be an accurate portrayal. You remind me slightly of radar oreily and his turtle impersonation.

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  115. I know for sure he won't be able to try that again.

    I understand that touching was off limits for you Haven, I respect that.

    I sometimes cross the boundary with touching myself, especially while dancing. I love unnecessarily strong holds on the upper arms once in a while, or feel the abs if they look rock hard, even slide my fingers across entire body as we get into turns or play piano on the upper chest muscles. Guys are cool with all that, no one wanted to break my finger, lol.

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  117. I keep getting Bella and Sceli confused.

    I still want to know why you delight in deflating.

    Quite a question for a sociopath blog.~

    Mostly, I'm procrastinating. It's not much different than reality tv here, only there's no commercials and it's interactive.

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  118. Beepers can care too much

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  119. MK This is the question I have been asking which you have not answered. Why are you so mean to people? If you want to be a "healer" as a therapist is, how do you reconcile it? Are you just like that, on here?

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  120. It's true, your meanness doesn't seem sincere, MK.

    I suppose this is my issue with you lately.

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  121. If some guy were to poke my breast with his finger and start making annoying slurpy sounds, my first instinct would be to bite it off and spit it out. At least, that is the visual that comes to mind. (I HATE slurpy sounds even at the best of times.)

    Hopefully, I would have the modicum of self-control required to merely whack away his hand and punch him in the face.

    Wow.

    @ Haven:

    Those are good suggestions. Intellectually, I know I should be running away from the object of my angst, but more often than not, I am telling myself this as I walk right into the face of the person who offended me, preparing to launch my next verbal grenade.

    I need to learn to apply the teachings of my Saviour and turn the other cheek. I just wish it weren't so damned hard for me.

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  122. @Sceli... oh touching especially when dancing is an entirely different thing I think. The whole situation and energy is different.

    I'm actually a very tactile person but I need to be the one initiating the contact. It's not ok for people to come up and touch me if I have not given some sign that it is ok (and trust me, if I think it's ok, they know). Control is important to me.

    Haha, yeah I don't doubt that guys wouldn't have a problem with your touching though. Oh the perks.

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  123. David, La prairie skin caviar is a waste of money.

    Get a serum to put underneath your moisturizer if you want supple baby skin.

    David you're a snob. Do you have a retirement fund? Were the vats of facial caviar gifts or did you lift them?

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  124. Monica, you are just the kind of pet a socio-fem would enjoy toying with.

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  125. Haven, it's not entirely different, meaning there are certain touches that I have found offensive and immediately stopped the dancing, either with a warning or to never dance with the offender again. One of the offensive moves is sliding too deep in a way that a hard-on is right on my upper thighs and his upper thigh is right up between my legs. I like that move but only if kept close enough as an illusion without actually forcing of body parts into each other, at least when the guy is not my regular dance partner.

    Do you have a regular dance partner?

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  126. @ Haven re: sublimation

    More than one wall has borne the scars of my, er, "sublimation" processes. The last time it happened, I covered the hole with the words of Jesus Christ regarding peaceful interactions with others, to remind myself of how I truly aspire to behave.

    A pillow is somehow far less satifying than a hard gyprock surface. There is release in the pain.

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  127. When I went to one of my therapists, I told HIM how I wanted to be treated. I said I wanted not to be coddled.

    That got old! A therapist needs to morph to their clients whim. You have an asshole for a patient who says they want to get better and wants boundaries, you need to become a sumo wrestler.

    YOur patient stops responding, you need to switch it up. You need to know what your client needs before your client does.

    When your client is one step ahead of you, you're in a quandry, aren't you ?

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  128. @SCeli... yeah I know what you mean. I don't think I'd be ok with that from a dance partner either. I used to have regular dance partners but in general they were all women so the rules were totally different. I'm also much, much less bothered by contact from women than I am from men.

    @Alterego

    It takes time to really work those techniques into a consistent mentality. I gotta say, I don't really get the whole jesus christ better person through the lord thing, but if it helps you remember the kind of person you want to be then hey, whatever works for you. I agree that pillows just don't have the same element of satisfaction, but I'll take a little less satisfaction over a restraining order any day haha.

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  129. David, I LOVE Dutch. I'il be glad to see it!
    Medusa, is that it?
    Monica, I'm not actually that mean. Scelli started it. Still. And she's dumb.
    Honesty is something I value more than anything. Here that translates negatively a lot of the time, as it's valuable for me to take that side. It's a sociopath blog. Plus, people aren't told the negative aspects of truths, and i think that hinders them more than it helps them.

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  130. All I see here is pets.

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  131. OMG MANIA YOUR HERE!!!

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  132. MK just because it is a sociopath blog, does not mean YOU have to lose your humanity. I am 100% for honesty, but being cruel is not the same as being honest, imo.


    Thanks for listening to what I said and considering it MK.

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  134. I like to be cuddled.

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  135. I'm generally pretty natural as far as moisture goes, but ive got naturally oily skin. David, I know, and il listen to your video as soon as I have consistant internet. We're out and about. But hanks in advance for talking ot me directly in your video.
    I do think its a really great new dynamic to add to the blog. Seeing you so tangibly makes figuring you out more fun.

    Psychologically, you have to have a motive with your client that is to find their issues and fix them. You have to deal with your clients not how they want to be dealt with, bu how they need to be dealt with and what is conducive to the relationship. I'm naturally very intuitive in person. Here, my goal isn't to fix anyone, so i can't imagine I would seem like a good therapist here.

    ReplyDelete
  136. Monica, your true colors show on black Friday.

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  137. Michael Martin PlunkettNovember 25, 2011 at 1:32 PM

    monica wont get scared wont run away not at this point

    but its good for her that she acknoledges what will happen later it wont come as a shock then

    ReplyDelete
  138. Wait, so...

    Plus, people aren't told the negative aspects of truths, and i think that hinders them more than it helps them.

    and then...

    Here, my goal isn't to fix anyone, so i can't imagine I would seem like a good therapist here.

    So basically...

    "I'm here to help. No I'm not."

    ??

    ReplyDelete
  139. Michael Martin PlunkettNovember 25, 2011 at 1:42 PM

    everyones a fucking shrink here the blog shuld be called ShrinkWorld

    ReplyDelete
  140. OK, David, I saw your video. You're much more careful in the way you carry yourself. You're trying a little to be charming, and you're much more composed. Which I think is another fun side of you to see.

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  142. Lol. Medusa, you're getting fun with the passive aggressive undercut attacks.

    I'm not here to help. I think people are deluded here often, and it amuses me to tell them the aspects they don't hear. And the truth is invaluable to me as a principal. Period. I fail to see the contradiction. You want to point another one out when someone else says something, or are you still good?

    This is weak and petty, Medusa. Why don't you just come out with your insults by your little lonesome. If you've got something to say just say it. Why wait for the crowd?

    ReplyDelete
  143. Anonymous Michael Martin Plunkett said...

    everyones a fucking shrink here the blog shuld be called ShrinkWorld



    Lol For me, I have enough of it in real life. I don't want the therapist's hat on, on here.

    ReplyDelete
  144. david, I think that is equally representative. That's what you don't understand. That's another aspect of who you are. That's the side you try to hide, but you are someone who takes sleeping pills to sleep, and drinks too much. In your other role you may be a charming arrogant or prudish sophisticated gentleman, but there are other sides to you that you've also shown us. This video doesn't negate the other video. Yiuve shown as your flaws, and now you're showing us your composure.
    It makes you more dynamic. You're rounding in character. You'd be flat without both videos, and both sides.

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  146. The girl who wrote this is obviously very insecure. Personally, as much as i love people being addicted to my presence, i absolutely cant stand insecurity. I would walk all over her too, so that at the very least she could become stronger.

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  147. @Nikkita I am glad to see your true intentions as this gives me insight into my relationship with my sociopath.

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  148. Disconnecting is the only way no more excuses for her.

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  149. You really want to be know, David. It would seem yre lonely. You feel detached from people and being a sociopath would be gratifying because it would justify your inability to let people in to get close to you.if you were a sociopath, you'd be able to allow anyone to get as close to you as they want, and you'd merely be detached from them. But you'd be enough into yourself it wouldn't matter. You'd look into all of your clients eyes during sex because it'd be easy to let them see you, because you'd have no dependence on their seeing you. Your opinion mof yourself would be completely independent of what anyone thinks of you, so you'd never explain yourself, but give people images you'd want them to see. It wouldn't matter that they fabricate your image, because itd be convenient. People knowing the truth about you and understanding you is very important to you. Even people you don't know, on a blog. You very willingly and aspirantly give up your anonymity so that we know and understand you, David. Even though you can't get close to people, you crave to, but you're afraid to. It scares you to give someone that much power over you.
    The aspect of yourself that you showed us first exhibits all the real feelings you have associated with your cold facade. I think its interesting that that is the side of you that can out first... your vulnerability.

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  150. I was trying to talk to you civilly without being aggressive, rude or reactionary. I was attempting to engage you and have you clarify without making assumptions or resorting to having an attitude.

    Why don't you just come out with your insults by your little lonesome.

    What exactly is the difference between 'insults' and the "negative aspects of truths" according to you?

    From where I stand, the difference seems to be in which direction it moves: coming, or going.

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  151. Monica, my true intentions? My pleasure to be of service.

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  152. @ Nikkita Yes your intentions to crucify me

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  153. Just braved the shoe store. Managed to get a pair of boots for work and a pair of delightful purple pumps (Sofft Fontenella). AND only nearly murdered one child. All in all I'd say this was a success.

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  154. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  155. @Diana

    Yes I am, What did you want?

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  156. Monica, crucify your haute intentions. Then, yes.

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  157. @Mania, I just wanted to make sure that you didn't hate me.

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  158. @ Nikita My haute intentions? You want to mock me for caring for a sociopath.

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  159. @Diana

    I haven't thought about you at all since I stopped coming here.

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  160. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  161. Monica, I am curious, with the word you threw out into the arena ::::


    Care.



    Do tell us more.

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  162. the me, me, me girl says to david:
    'hanks in advance for talking ot me directly in your video.'

    does not get lower than this, lmao, married narcissistic slutty slut

    ReplyDelete
  163. two great sentences, Medusa:
    What is the difference between 'insults' and the "negative aspects of truths" ?

    From where I stand, the difference seems to be in which direction it moves: coming, or going.

    November 25, 2011 2:20 PM

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  164. today's pic looks like red hot clit

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  165. @Nikita Yes I can care from a safe distance. I do have a plane to catch right now, I will write you later when I get a chance.

    ReplyDelete
  166. missus, here is an idea for you, cook shrrek into stew and feed the dogs and use the bones as dildo before he takes a shot at your daughter:
    A Pakistani woman is being held on suspicion of killing her husband, cutting him up and trying to cook the pieces, Karachi police said Friday.
    Zainab Bibi, 32, was arrested in connection with the murder Tuesday of her husband Ahmad Abbas, police said.
    Her 22-year-old nephew, Zaheer Ahmed, is accused of helping Bibi stab Abbas to death and carve his body into small pieces.
    Police said she wanted to cook her husband's body parts so she could dispose of them without being caught.
    Police: Wife turns husband into stew
    Neighbors raised the alert when they detected a foul odor in the neighborhood, police said.
    Pakistan's domestic satellite channel ARY News spoke to Bibi in the police station where she is being held in the southern city of Karachi.
    In an interview broadcast late Thursday, she claimed to have killed her husband because he wanted a physical relationship with their daughter -- and said she did not regret her actions.
    "I killed my husband before he dared to touch my daughter," she told ARY News.

    ReplyDelete
  167. Monica-- the whole day--with the exception of the morning was NOT me lol

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  168. Monica, just some edge food for thought. This socio-fem could represent another destination in your many travels.

    Aka: Excitement junkie.

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  169. i usually like to alk to thes bumb bitches about their shit and like help them and shit but i like totally had a dumb bitch overload and now im like spe)esless and shit lol. WHAT DO I SAY! LOLOL

    ReplyDelete
  170. Michael Martin PlunkettNovember 25, 2011 at 3:51 PM

    monica tell me about her maybe i can help ya out ya never know

    i may not be the shrink but i have great insights in peoples minds

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  171. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr_Mf1ANTVE

    David's second video, he acts like a different person compared to the first video he posted, multiple personality disorder?

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  172. @Micheal
    It is private, beyond what I share here, but thank you for the offer. I appreciate it!

    ReplyDelete
  173. Michael Martin PlunkettNovember 25, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    no problems i understand totally not wanting to share here in this place ya wuld get attacked rediculed publicly not a good place to share anything

    ReplyDelete
  174. Anonymous Michael Martin Plunkett said...

    no problems i understand totally not wanting to share here in this place ya wuld get attacked rediculed publicly not a good place to share anything

    Ya think LOL

    ReplyDelete
  175. Dear tnp,

    If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.

    XOXO,
    TNP

    ReplyDelete
  176. Did you miss Frank? He hit the white sales.
    Hi gary

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  177. LOL. This blog is a virtual thunderdome

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  178. Hi Frankin. Did you get some new sheets or sumpin"









    wv:harv

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  179. Yea, Gary. They had a sale at Neimans, ten sheets for one. Frank got a hundred.








    wv:hank

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  180. Good work, Frabk. That should help build your self esteem.










    wv:sheet

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  181. Fresh to death nigga!

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  182. It did, Gary. Thank you for asking.






    wv:harv

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  183. You are a fucking pussy, Frank. What color bra did you get? Aubergine?








    wv pussy

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  184. Don't hate me cuz I am snuggly, Harv.

    ReplyDelete
  185. I will snuggle with you, Frank.

    ReplyDelete

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