Wednesday, May 2, 2012

No shame (part 2)

A reader sent me this clip from the television show Community to go along with yesterday's post.  One of the characters is trying to get over an ex-boyfriend who is a carnival worker but has an inexplicable draw. The Joel McHale character asks him what the source of his irresistible magnetism is, which he explains in this scene.




56 comments:

  1. I wanted to give an update of my progress. I have been so busy that I have not been able to talk to my socio g/f like I used to. I thought she would be mad at me. When we finally did talk, she was not mad. She had been busy, too. We have one of these relationships where people can go back and forth . These are my favorite relationships, as I can allow people to come and go. Some people can't.

    I asked her about ME's article by the girl wondering if she were a sociopath.That girl seemed cold in a way that she did not. I said that she did not seem as if she didn't care for me. Did she? She said that I was the only person in her life with whom she is unmasked. She said that I was the only person to whom she could ask questions about how an empath would act in various situations. She said I was an interesting person.

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    Replies
    1. I wanted to tell you more than that. I have started to get what I wanted--my sense of self. I had a breakthrough, yesterday. I wanted to tell you because SW is a big part of it.

      I have had many different experiences since I wrote last about what was happening in my life. My business is getting more successful than I could have dreamed and it seems as if it is sky rocketing. Success is very scary to me. The only time I could get my mother off me was when I made myself small like an animal who is going to be attacked by another animal. Making myself small was my defense.

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    2. So, when I experience success, I freak. I get sick, literally. However, I really wanted to tell you about a person who came into my life. I have, always, had the strangest people and experiences come into my life. Now, I just sit back and wait because I know they will happen. This one is the strangest, even stranger than SW.

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    3. A man came into my life who had four NDE(near Death experiences) He is unlike anyone I have ever met. If someone could be a walking Bible, it would be this person. The best thing about him is he says F this and F that.I hate phoney Christians. He is as real as they make them. However, he feels unlike anyone I have ever been around. Actually, my closest friend had a NDE. I had another close friend who had one, but this man had four.
      He is the main reason I am changing.

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    4. Thanks Zoe! x

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  2. I don't think it's shamelessness per se, at least not directly, more as a vehicle to a desired result that could be reached by several means.

    Complete confidence with a sense of entitlement that feels genuine are incredibly alluring to people. It's being in the presence of royalty, essentially. Not admiration that is demanded, but that is expected without a second thought, that you could realize even if they were wearing rags. It doesn't matter if someone is a burn-out working minimum wage, a carnie, or VP of a fortune 500. Personalities like that are powerful and shine like beacons in the dark. They're so rare that it's incredibly refreshing to be around it, even if it does mean contending with the flip-flop between abuse and fun, as it almost always assuredly does.

    I don't often let myself open up in that way with people. It used to be my natural go-to, but the effects ranged too strongly from admiration to loathing, that I decided at a young age to only show something of my true colors if I felt the other person could handle it, in the interest of not inadvertently sabotaging a relationship. That's already too easy when you lack empathy and are naturally opportunistic and without conscience. You don't need any more fuel to that fire. Letting yourself go is fun and easy but leaves a breadcrumb trail to an evil house that I'd rather not be accessible to the public. Vices can be indulged but discretion with them helps more often than it hurts.

    The odd thing, about that magnetism? It's a double-edged blade. People don't see you as another Joe or Jane anymore, you become something more to them, which frankly gets annoying. Sometimes I'd rather be a lazing chameleon than the center of attention, and sometimes vice versa. I can't imagine always being one or the other, it must be awful.

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    Replies
    1. TNP
      Do you think you were born without empathy or developed lack of empathy from trauma?

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    2. TNP

      Not everyone likes the drama of this flip flopping
      from fun to abuse; normals find this tiring and
      a waste of energy. But we know sociopaths love this
      drama..........

      Delete
  3. Well it has nothing to do with shame, but it started to annoy me: when I talk with strangers, I start talking in a soft, happy voice, while normaly my voice is completely different. I feel stupid while I talk like this, but it's not easy to control myself there. Why I act like this, how could I change it, any ideas? Well I am able to change my voice then I want and I like it, but I can't stand when it happens without wanting to do it :(

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    1. are you female?

      i used to do something similar with people who didn't speak English well and reminded me of my parents. i simplified it and it was almost like baby talk for adults. if i didn't do it, it would take forever to explain what i was saying and get away!

      now i just don't bother. it's more entertaining when the conversation is like two parallel lines that never meet. and anyway people are happier when they think they know what's going on even if they don't. less effort and no harm.

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    2. @ Zoe
      Nope, I'm male.
      I know that it is not a very big problem, but I like to control myself. Others may be happier, but It's just not right. I am obviously talking about the voice problem, I have nothing against being a dude.
      An example would be that normally I have a monotonic voice, but when I talk with people I don't know very well I start to sound like a child :'D

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    3. well i was doing that sort of with the oldish people who reminded me of my parents. that changed when i stopped caring what they think or that i owed them some unusual deference. now they have to earn that level of respect like anyone else.

      my parents put a lot of emphasis on how we looked to their peers to the point where as kids any idiot's opinion held weight. they sacrificed our self worth to preserve their self image. but did more or less the same thing with their own, so i can't take it personally.

      i'm guessing your parents may have also cared too much about what strangers thought?

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    4. With older people then me and sometimes with females. You are right about the parents, my mother always care about stuff like this way too much.
      Thanks for help, it would have taken much time for me to get to this point :)
      Since I never cared about those people but threw on a show, probably for the reason you mentioned, now I only need to tailor it a little bit, because this act might not be very bad, while communicating with people, I think. Thanks once again : )

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    5. How one acts with strangers is indicative of how one views him/hrself?

      Delete
  4. Replies
    1. Don't be like that, my love. You broke up with me. Remember? :p

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    2. you two were a couple?

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    3. Raven: I was lying. No one's ever going to replace you, you should know that. You're the best thing that ever happened to me.

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    4. As you said, this relationship is quite risky. But isn't that what life is? A risk? Besides, I like to think positive and the fun we'll get out of it will be worth the outcome of this relationship. I love you, Raven. ♥

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    5. Raven is Extremity lol Good one.

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    6. I love you too, babe. Tell me how to put a heart in my message for you... :*

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    7. alt + 3 ♥

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    8. It doesn't work for me... :(

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    9. Do you have a num lock keyboard?

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    10. & h e a r t s ; (remove the spaces) and it works!

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    11. It's just a lil netbook♥

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    12. oops that's for you haven. wrong spot.

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    13. &hearts

      &spade

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  5. How does sociopathy manifest ?

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    Replies
    1. It tickles in your tummy. :P

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  6. Dr Franklin Fomentile PhDMay 2, 2012 at 12:46 PM

    Fascinating subject!

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  7. Good evening SW! I'm very drunk! Say hi to me =)

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    Replies
    1. You're always drunk. But hello!

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    2. MedusA! Oh my stars it's been forever since we chatted. How have you been?

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    3. I think I may have a drinking problem but my therapist doesn't think it's that bad.

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    4. You have a drinking problem. So does your therapist.

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  8. Hi, you, drunk:) you people are so original in here)

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  9. This is so typical. An interesting conversation would be going on and then someone would start joking around or cussing and simply squash the vibes for selfish reasons. I makes one wonders if anything is taken seriously by some persons for any lenghty period of time.

    Just an observation.

    ReplyDelete

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