Friday, May 18, 2012

Fear of the unknown

Regarding why empaths seem so wary of sociopaths, a theory from a reader:


So I pretty much boiled down why I think empaths are afraid of sociopaths.

It's the fear of the unknown.

Let me explain.

When I was at the zoo a few years ago, I casually asked a zoo keeper why the giraffes don't choose to escape. They don't put up a fence high enough to prevent the giraffes from simply walking out of the enclosure. All there is a little ditch and a tiny wall. The zoo keeper explained to me that the reason the giraffes never leave is because they can't see what's in the ditch. Since they don't know what would happen if they tried to step over it, they choose to stay in their enclosure instead.

This is pretty good analogy for humans and death.

If God were to go “After life you get to be in heaven and it's perfect,” to everyone after they were born, people would throw themselves off of cliffs as soon as they were able to walk.
The reason people generally don't run around killing themselves is because they have no idea what happens after death.

So how does this relate to sociopaths? 

People eventually  had to come up with unspoken rules that would prevent people from hurting each other. Not because they cared about the other people, but because they didn't want to be killed themselves. They didn't want to face the unknown.

And thus we have “empathy” which is really just the fear of something that has happened to someone else either affecting you or happening to you. 

What's really scary to an empath about sociopaths is that they have no idea what they're going to do next. Their thought process is completely foreign, since empaths have always functioned with, well, empathy. 

Even if you explain how a sociopath thinks to an empath, they're still a little bit afraid. They have no idea what a sociopath will do, or maybe do to them, because they do not function under the normal silent rules humanity came up with. The sociopath's thought process is still relatively unknown to the empath. 

So for an empath, trying to understand a sociopath is kind of like the giraffe trying to see what's in the ditch. You can kind of tell what's down there, but because you don't really know what, you'd prefer to stay away.

I hope that makes sense. 

-Thoughtful empath

Empaths, see also this post for the answers to some of these questions. 

86 comments:

  1. Is this where i get excited again for being first?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. go out and celebrate, this should not be taken lightly. i mean how often do you get to be the first in anything, right?

      Delete
    2. Sociopaths are the least to be feared, once you have identified that they are a sociopath. Their behavior is quite predictable. Just remember that they have an uncanny ability of being patient. Backtrack and double around on them. they wont know if you're comoming or going. they can only mirror your behavior. When you can get them in a position where they can't sweet talk there way out, let them be confronted and have to "stand up". They all run like little bitches! It's hilaarious to watch. They tear you apart like cowards. Behind your back, subversive pieces of shit! Like coch roaches. Are you afraid of coch roaches??? :o

      Delete
  2. I love the explanation of the "thoughtful empath" and it deserves a post of its own, no doubt. It doesn't make sense in real life, but, as some anonymous said yesterday, reality is never as useful as models; I think this is also valid for the real reason why socios and psychos are feared. They are models; they don't exist in real, crude day to day experience, so they can be portrayed in films, in novels, even in the news; they are stars in daily consumed fiction, to sum it all up. It is great to be afraid of a model; in countries like the USA or Germany you’ll find a lot of fear junkies. They make psychopaths popular and give them an aura of media splendour. In crude and unglamorous reality, a psychopath is about as dangerous as a toaster, and of course in easier to get to know them than empaths, but the psycho or the socio are PERCEIVED as unpredictable because they aren’t driven by emotional trends within the group: this is only a perception; the vast majority of the population, supposedly made up by empaths, is equally unpredictable, as the course of economy and the ups and downs of the stock exchange show with utmost clarity.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...unless those in charge of the economy and the stock exchange are sociopaths. If one in a hundred people or thereabouts is a sociopath, if they seem to be interested only in their personal gain, then it isn't entirely unbeliveable that the world is run by sociopaths, as they are the ones who have no difficulty whatsoever on stepping on anyone to get where they want. And as I'm sure we all agree, nice guys finish last. Also I think that the very fact that a sociopath is happy to lie about anything and can pull it off effortlessly to get what they want makes them unpredictable, at least if you haven't already figured out that's what they are. It may be fair to say that if an empath knows that someone they are not close to is a sociopath, then they probably do seem quite predictable if they are in the same room as them. But I can imagine on the other hand if an empath is in a relationship with someone they do not know to be a sociopath, who seems loving and caring one minute, and pushing all kinds of buttons the next, and apologising after that, that must be pretty unpredictable, especially if the empath has falen for that person

      Delete
  3. The writer is talking about the unpredictable nature of the sociopath. This is what makes them so exciting and super sexy. They break all the taboos in which the empath is imprisoned. However, the flip side of this wild card is that you don't know what the hell will happen next. This does not bode well for longevity of the relationship like mother and dad being together for 40 years.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Monica is growing upMay 18, 2012 at 6:38 AM

      Monica, have you ever understood how you must have appeared to your mom in your early childhood? Were you a very dependent/needy child?

      You seem to have begged for your independence and you frame it as if it was all because of her. Typically when that is the case the child is the clingy type, a weak soul, which we all know (you too) that you are.

      Are you toughening up?

      What you are seeing from the sociopaths is the strength to be an independent thinker and actor. What you crave, but you're too scared to be yourself. Maybe because you know what comes out of you would be exactly like your mom.

      Delete
    2. I made some taboos/rules for myself, but I only follow them when I can benefit from it, however these rules differ from ones of emphats.
      I can relate to incapacity of maintaining long term relationships, since I loose interest in my objects of obsession very quickly.
      I think that I understand why empaths are afraid of us, because I get scared when I accidently see myself in a mirror. I wouldn't want to meet myself in a dark alley, but I am not as dangerous as I sound.

      So which Sw regular am I ? Why?

      Delete
    3. Thank you Monica is Growing Up
      I appreciate the time you took to write to me. Let me sum up SW in a sentence. It is like Game Boy and I am friggin Mario.

      Delete
    4. @Monica
      Go back to the couch - with the fact that empaths don't like or tolerate you, either. Your so ignorant.

      Delete
    5. It is You're he he

      Delete
    6. ^And anyone that would hurt their child is an insane
      sociopath.

      Delete
    7. Anon 7:31, I think you've just insulted most of the sociopaths on here. Didn't you notice the collective condemnation of Ami/Monica's actions on here? She is far worse than that.

      Also Monica,don't flatter yourself. You are not frigging Mario. More like one of those pathetic whores in Grand Theft Auto. The ones you run over not for points, but just because you really should.

      Delete
    8. I, agree, I apologize to the sociopaths. I stand
      corrected.

      Delete
    9. What's the matter, Monica? Cat got your tongue?
      No more cleverly posing as 'green eyes' or multiple anons and spouting ridiculous bullshit? How very disappointing you are.

      Delete
    10. Keep coming back, green eyes ^^^

      Delete
    11. “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
      ― Oscar Wilde

      Delete
    12. Anon 700, congratulations, you are correct, now go somewhere to celebrate :)
      But is this mask really so obvious?! Maybe I have to tailor it a little bit :)

      Delete
    13. ^I'm always celebrating.....that's what healthy people do. And Mee knows who was under the mask -

      Delete
    14. Anon 11:18
      Let's see, from your own words, "I enjoy the hot anger under the cool exterior." I think it applies,
      here

      Delete
    15. ^Under your cool exterior - that is

      Delete
    16. What did Ami/Monica do that was the source of the condemnation exactly? I'm new to this, bring me up to speed please

      Delete
  4. "because they have no idea what happens after death"

    After death is no different then before life.

    Stupid post

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stupid is what stupid doesMay 18, 2012 at 6:34 AM

      This adjective 'stupid' seems to come so easy to people.

      It is mostly used by people who have short attention span or no need/ability for a deeper analysis so they deflect what they don't understand. In short what they are really saying is 'I'm too stupid to bother to try to learn from something like this."

      Delete
    2. ...because religion always assumes the truth, thereby eliminating the need to search for it.

      Yawns

      Delete
    3. Truth is the highest religion

      Me

      Delete
    4. @ Stupid is what stupid does:

      Stupid is just an easier way of saying "unnecessary." Like, it's stupid of you to try to force this unnecessary knowledge upon me. Is it relevant? No? Then it's stupid that you think I should care.

      If you've seen the BBC show Sherlock, you should hopefully remember the episode where it is revealed that Sherlock did not know the Earth revolved around the sun. Common knowledge, yes, but not relevant to him, so unimportant. I'm the same way (though not quite so "ignorant"): if information isn't useful or relevant, I just can't force myself to give a fuck.

      Delete
  5. what a crock of shit.
    you don't need fear of the unknown to explain why people choose to live, or have social rules. we evolved. evolution and game theory combine perfectly to explain these basic aspects of human behaviour.

    as for fear of the psychopath, i think it's simply down to a personal profiling algorithm that empaths are not consciously aware of. you only hear bad things about psychopaths therefore you believe a psychopath is more likely to be a bad person than a good one. if you only heard bad things about jews, or blacks, or muslims etc you would also seek to avoid their company.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How true........

      Delete
    2. Shhh! you will upset alterego's god fearing ego

      Delete
    3. 749
      Maybe, he will enlighten you too

      Delete
    4. Res, copy what you said up there somewhere safe and look at it in ten years. You'll laugh your ass off that you think game theory and algorithms explain any reality in any direction (certainly not human behavior). Maybe you're just new to game theory and that's why. Maybe you're a PhD (piled high and deep) in BS (bull shit) after MS (more shit).

      Delete
  6. Hey, I have a question about fear of the unknown and how it relates to paranoia. Can anyone articulate?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Isn't the better question why sociopaths don't feel fear the same way most people do? I'm not speaking about the fear of physically being hurt, but social fear, being liked, other people's opinions, etc. I never understood why being liked was so important to people.

    I don't think I am a socio. But most times when I am meeting someone, smiling, having a normal conversation, even flattering them and listening...I inexplicably feel a cold, sort of hatred.. thinking how full of bulls*** they all are no matter what they are saying. Anytime anyone is being nice I wonder what's underneath the mask they wear...since everyone does really..I wonder what are they trying to tell me, what's their motive and more so underneath that what really makes them tick... I oftentimes have feelings of extreme universal dislike for 99% of people, even as I get to know them I see their pathetic egos and attempts to hurt other people.. I see their jealousy, pettiness, bitterness...and I get to know them, I joke and chat and put everyone at "ease" lol...but on the inside I do hate them. The more I dislike them the more I turn on the "act" so that I can observe them further undetected...Or on the other hand if I meet someone who is unpleasant or rude directly up front, I hate them even more because I think to myself what a moron they could at least put up a front of being "nice" and get away without a lot more...

    Maybe it's the way I view people that I can maybe relate to socios..no wonder they lack social fear, because 99% of people are not worth one minute of energy..except for maybe if they are useful to you in your career or for entertainment purposes of course;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are days when everyone is irritating. But you have to get to know people before you can hate them properly.

      I used to care what people thought, years ago at school - stuff like being around the popular crowd and fitting in. Then I realised the really interesting cases were the damaged ones.

      Delete
    2. Interesting. You are really honest. That's good.

      Delete
    3. Vittoria - you are right..hate is not the right word nor is irritation it's more like the saying "always expect the worst from people you will rarely be disappointed" ;) although if I were really honest I would say that I may be the most dishonest among them because I never say what I feel or what I think..it's better that way because if i did people would run screaming lol

      Delete
    4. True. If the little voice at the back of my head ever got exclusive control of the body for even 10 minutes, there would be some interesting scenes.

      That said, I can safely share what I think and feel on most topics. Only about 5% of the time I need the internal censor.

      Delete
    5. Vittoria - I can't say what I think 95% of the time if not more..that's the funny thing I wish I could like the people around me more but I can't do it. When I "bond" I am someone else, I play this part of this good friend, of the sympathetic acquaintance, the good girlfriend..but it's not me I'm not sure if that's a PD. I don't want to hurt someone unless they hurt me but I do loooooove mind games;)
      The other thing is I don't believe anyone is "innocent" truly everyone is out for their own self interest. From my own self knowledge I know the "sweetest" people can be the most ruthless..maybe I act the part of the empath..but I'm in drag;) I'm trying it on and seeing how my audience responds lol

      Delete
    6. This Anon is Eden/Raven. Such a sad existence to be this distrusting. The cost of missing on people who genuinely likes you. You are a snake, I wish I did not know people like you existed.

      Delete
    7. Anon 7:45 - personal insults aside..is it sad to be distrusting if that's what's necessary in the world we live in? Isn't it more sad to be trusting and a fool? who said I was missing out on people who genuinely like me? there are plenty who do. Not that it matters either way it is not on my list of desired accomplishments "to be well liked"... my point is that people like the "nice" me the real me may not be so likeable because maybe i would tell it how it is. I follow the rule that you tell people what they want to hear because nobody wants to deal with the "truth". One little ugly truth that empaths and many others want to deny is that we are all out of ourselves..deal with it. Some people are users and some are used, some are strong and some are weak. For instance when some silly girlfriends complain about men to me and "analyze" their actions. I sometimes want to say "it's simple he doesn't give a s*** about you forget about him" but I don't because that's not what they want to hear they live in a rose tinted glasses universe where the guy is just "confused" a good guy who really likes them but because of xyz reason he's not sure and can't commit. lol. It's not the truth but they can't deal with it because it hurts. a few times in the past I have said what I really think and the looks of anager and hate were hilarious I realized it's better to play the "nice" card and tell them what they want to hear.

      If you look beneath our thin social veneer things are not pretty..am I a snake? I don't think so. I am just not trusting that's all.

      Delete
  8. Anon 12:41

    What you described is "paranoia." Yes, there are people as
    you described but could they be mirroring back to you what your putting out there. People WILL show you who they are -
    just listen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. what am I putting out there exactly? I never put anything out there that's my point..if you ask people who first meet me or who know me they will say I am the "sweetest" "nicest" person...I am too nice;) truth is it's an act it's not me at all. what people show me is their true selves because they feel that I am too "nice" too "gullible" to see what they are really about. They feel relaxed around me like I would not hurt them or belittle them and they open up a lot sometimes. Or sometimes with men they think they will take advantage of me..of course sometimes I can't resist and show them my true self and the reactions are hilarious...I can almost see their heads spinning, confused, nervous laughter, and they look at me differently slightly astounded, bewildered like what they heck where did you come from...where did the sweet, ditzy girl go?

      are they mirroring me back by doing this? I'm a blank reflection I don't reveal anything "real". I guess I wear my persona in order to see the response;) it's fun because i am exactly the opposite of what I pretend to be.

      Delete
    2. Right, it's a game to you and everyone has played it
      at some point but what makes you think that they
      are not wearing a mask? Because they are, too

      Delete
    3. Anon 2:01 my whole point is that I don't understand why most people are so concerned with what other people think of them or in fact care and want to be liked. that some people find other people's opinions of them something they actually consider or try to win them over.. I could give a f*** about what someone thinks of me. I find it funny when they care about what I think of them and try so hard to make a good impression. A good impression is the easiest thing in the world to make...it's like child's play..and it's almost always fake anyway (so is a second, third, forth,...) so why do people worry about it or fear social situations? sociopaths never have this problem because they don't value other people in this sense this is one part of a socio I can understand.
      I don't know what point you are making? That I am so naive that I think everyone is being honest with me? don't make me laugh;)of course not that IS my point.

      Delete
    4. No, I don't think your naive by your statements and
      if you have some long term relationships then, evidently, it's working for you?

      Delete
    5. You don't care what they think of you but you lick their ass with your overly nice attitude? Think hard. You'll love yourself better when you learn to be true to yourself and others. Why would I lick all their asses when I don't give a f.? What is your iq? Sounds like you're retarded early on with your dumb ass logic about people.

      Delete
    6. Fuck off, how's that for truth?

      Delete
  9. "If God were to go “After life you get to be in heaven and it's perfect,” to everyone after they were born, people would throw themselves off of cliffs as soon as they were able to walk.
    The reason people generally don't run around killing themselves is because they have no idea what happens after death."

    Actually, Christians believe, and probably those other religions too, that suicide is a mortal sin that automatically excludes you from heaven. I'm sure plenty would kill themselves if they'd still get to go to the magical fairy land.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Suicide does not exclude you from Heaven. That is Catholic doctrine. The Catholic Bible is not the real Bible. That is whole other can of worms but people who commit suicide are mentally ill. God would never exclude them from Heaven. People who say that don't know God.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Bible Anon

      Today, Catholics teach that suicide is an act of "desperation," and their not excluded from heaven.

      Delete
    2. Suicide means you are giving up faith thus denying Jesus as your Savior. Denying Jesus as your Savior = hell. Not catholic specific.

      Delete
    3. One thing @ anon. Catholics also want to bring back indulgences back so...

      Delete
    4. Nope That is ridiculous, too silly to even comment on beyond what I did. If you don't get my first post, you won't get it.


      Ok Anon That is good.

      Delete
    5. Bright Eyes, Did you have too much to drink tonight?

      Delete
    6. Don't talk badly about drinking problems. It is a disease, not moral weakness.

      Delete
    7. Denying Jesus as your savior doesn't make you damned?


      Curious.

      Delete
    8. I saw your comment on my phone and came back, as it seemed like a sincere query.
      God is bigger than man's thoughts and musings. God looks at the heart. The heart of a poor soul who commits suicide is beyond man's reasoning to comprehend. Such things are left to the One who is beyond this limited dimension.

      As to damned and not damned, it is simple. Has someone accepted Jesus as the propitiation for one's sins? That is it.

      What does this mean? Do you KNOW Him? The word know is like sexual intercourse. Do you know God, that way, deep inside your heart?

      If you do, you are saved. If you don't, you are not.

      Delete
    9. Non denominational
      There are no denominations with God. That is man's made up thing.

      Delete
  11. Does Bright Eyes have a drinking problem?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think she said she did, but I'm not sure. Anyway, what does it matter, Anon? It is no one's business.

      Delete
    2. I never alluded to it or said it, just for clarity. But I do wonder why three anon people cared in the slightest... I figure empty insults are a waste... especially here.(?)

      Delete
    3. Why don't you consider that it was one anon

      Delete
  12. I am the Anon of 8:11

    I posted no other Anon in this frame.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ^Or the previous frame.

      Delete
    2. Well, if she does she needs understanding and I want to give it!

      Delete
  13. Now bear with me, I'm still new to this forum and know little about sociopaths outside of media. I do have a friend who admitted to being a sociopath, but I've never, ever, felt in danger around him, and we're amateur gun builders, we go shooting together.

    The sociopaths/psychopaths I see in media, however, always creep me out. There's something..."animalistic", for lack of better word, about them. The only reason I would ever be scared of a sociopath is if he were a threat to my saftey though. But I'd feel no different about someone who's really pissed off at me, or even an untamed lion for that matter. I don't think empaths really "fear" sociopaths who arn't a threat.

    I am understanding the majority consensus here correctly, right? Most sociopaths arn't neccesarily evil?

    ReplyDelete
  14. I think the word evil is not the right word. Perhaps, blank is. The sociopath is blank where the empath has feelings, I suppose you could say. That blankness allows for actions that would be much harder for an empath, as the empath would have to go through layers of proscriptions which are derived FROM this feeling level.

    The sociopath does not have this safeguard, you could say.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Let's suppose in a given moment you are unable to share the feelings of the community; you may feel like a monster if you are naïve enough, or too young and inexperienced,but with time, experience and knowledge you end up seeing that it can be equally creepy to be firmly attuned to the general feeling. History teaches us that mobs have often commited gruesome crimes.

    ReplyDelete
  16. StickMan
    "I don't think empaths really fear sociopaths who aren's a threat."

    I think each empath will determine who is "evil" for them and who is not. There are empaths and sociopaths who lack
    character and one way to determine those that lack this quality is in not respecting your boundaries. I think evil is apparent in this realm.

    ReplyDelete
  17. ^Character can mean keeping their own impulses, trigger emotions, islands of selfishness and lusts in check.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I agree, it is the "fear" of the "unknown", possibly couple with the sociopath/psychopath image projected via mainstream media, which amplifies the traits to be feared the most, which adds to the "empaths" perception. who of course, go off an get all emotional about the threat of the sociopath!

    Oh who will protect our children they scream!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Empaths fear sociopaths for good reason. I live in the U.S. . The U.S. is now run by a tribe of sociopaths called the jews. They have killed over 3000 people on 9/11 and many others through their wars they've tricked us into. They are now looting what's left of the country. When all the other empaths find out about this there will be rivers of blood.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Empath vs Sociopath
    Exploration vs Exploitation in artificial intelligence
    Resourceful vs Efficiency in economics
    Disgust vs Fear in prenatal emotional development
    Visual vs Auditory in dominance of regions of the mind
    Super Imposed Ego vs Ego in psychoanalytical theory

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object_relations_theory once you reach a certain point you realize you have two halfs to one brain that can cooperate in many narratives and perspectives. For the record I have Aspergers I don't fit on this scale I haven't since I was about 8 I would say.

    But I will say this any person whom does not make proper use of a sack of meat is a fool. Both sides one without the other are anthropomorphic anomalies subjugated by a greater Volition of the mind.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'm a little late to this, but an empathy is not fear of the unknown. Empathy is the condition of being able to sense and understand the feelings of others--not to be confused necessarily with sympathisizing. It is not a rule created by man, but an ability which most humans have. An empath is a person who is extremely sensative to the feelings of others, often feeling them as if they were their own feelings. Empaths are drawn to sociopaths for several reasons: 1) they have a strong need to heal others and 2) they are not overloaded with emotional data from them. Opposites attract; empaths being highly emotional, and sociopaths being far less so, the two are drawn to each other. The problem is that a sociopath will take advantage of an empath, with or without realizing it. Empaths and sociopaths who come together often wind up in condependant relationships, with the sociopath in control, the empath giving much more than is received and being drained, and with both often feeling enslaved to the relationship, as it is satisfying needs in both of them. It is not fear of the unknown but an understanding of their own vulnerability that makes empaths wary of sociopaths. Empaths are not afraid of sociopaths. They just know it is in their best interest to stay away. I, for example, am not afraid of sociopaths, because I know they are not all violent, murdering, raping psychos. I am, however, not interested in putting myself in a position where I will likely wind up in a codependant relationship or even friendship and/or being used. On an unrelated note, fear of the unknown is often a reason for fear of death, but not wanting to die is not the same as fear of death or the unknown. I don't want to die because there are things I still want to do in the flesh, like raise my children. I'm afraid of leaving them behind motherless, not what is beyond the veil of Death.

    ReplyDelete
  22. It all comes down to feeling your GUT it never fails you. Think the worst of them and act accordingly. My ex sociopath husband keeps trying to win but I call his bluff EVERYTIME, he is his own worst enemy. He has tried to destroy me, take my home, my kids, the childrens money, and of course my self respect. I know his every move and I know his next one and his getting really PISSED off. Telling gullible idiots that I'm crazy a woman scorned and others how he wants to bury me blah blah blah. Everything is documented the police took him in march he is a nasty vicious abuser. He cant get to me directly and is afraid of the authorities, and I don't have to anything as he can know be his true self around me he's tired of the act to get something from me, he knows I know. So I just let him crumble for the shit bag he is ha its hilarious to watch !!

    ReplyDelete

Comments on posts over 14 days are SPAM filtered and may not show up right away or at all.

Join Amazon Prime - Watch Over 40,000 Movies

.

Comments are unmoderated. Blog owner is not responsible for third party content. By leaving comments on the blog, commenters give license to the blog owner to reprint attributed comments in any form.