Friday, May 11, 2012

Say it loud! I'm S and I'm proud!

A question from a reader:
Do most sociopaths know they are sociopaths, do narcissists know they are narcissists? Under what circumstances would a sociopath reveal himself? same question as to narcissists?
My response:
Sociopaths know that they are different, though they may not necessarily be familiar that the label "sociopath" applies to them. Narcissists tend to be self-deceived, so they think that they are the same as everyone else, just better.

When I was told by a friend that there was a label for people like me and it was called "sociopath," I actually willingly accepted the diagnosis. I knew I didn't have the same emotions as everyone else, I knew I had a weak sense of empathy, I knew I was different, and it wasn't something that I struggled with ever. I feel like narcissists deny deny deny when they are confronted with their identity. They are so self-deceived, though, that it is probable that they don't even recognize the signs of narcissism in themselves.

I don't think a narcissist would ever reveal himself, mainly because he probably doesn't think there is anything to reveal. For sociopaths I think revealing oneself is sort of like revealing a secret identity for a superhero -- generally not a good idea, but sometimes unavoidable. I have revealed myself to close friends (not all, only the ones who would be accepting), and on rare occasions to people whom I suspect to be sociopaths themselves. For instance, I have only once revealed myself to someone I had just met, but it was obvious from our conversational topics that if he weren't a sociopath, he was something akin to it. Even so it was a delicate dance of "how much do you think you empathize with others?" "Do you think manipulation is an appropriate tool for social encounters?" "Does anyone ever ask you if you are a sociopath?" Even from the people who are accepting of who I am, a lot of them can't believe that I am a sociopath, or they sort of pretend I'm not by imagining emotions or empathy where there are none. My parents are that way. I am high-functioning and take pleasure in being exceptionally considerate, so it is not too difficult to believe that I am normal. Bjust because most of me seems good doesn't mean I don't have any sociopath-flavoured bad in me.
There's another good response here:
I'm sure a sociopath realizes that they are "different" from normal people, in the sense that they do not comprehend normal emotional responses and connections. I would assume they don't understand why this is unless they recognize the signs through their own research or if someone tells them.

293 comments:

  1. Can i ask a question, hopefully in return for an honest answer? Im not going to ask of curiosity, i need to know for my piece of mind.

    Q) Can a sociopath genuienely cry?

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    1. I'd say it's rare, I don't get hurt like most people can get hurt. in the past 5 years I have been with my wife I could say that I have genuinely cried twice. I have taught myself to force tears when it is appropriate for the situation calls for it but this doesn't work on my wife. she knows the difference as one eye always tears up more than the other when I am forcing it.

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    2. Yes, rare, not for long. Sociopaths have feelings, basic ones and those are suppressed.

      There is a very limited number of things that made me cry for real, sometimes it involves feeling that I am loosing something/one important. The feeling is like I feel I am about to cry, I start crying and within minute I am over it and thinking what I can do to improve situation I am in.

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    3. Extreme and unexpected pain can make me cry.

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    4. We cry, but I don't think its from sadness like other people feel. I'll cry because I feel like I can't fit in. I'll cry because I find that I've driven everyone else away again and I have to start over and it seems like I'll never settle down or have 'real friends,' whatever those are. I'll cry when something happens to me that I have no control over. But crying from empathy? I know when I should cry, and have learned to summon up those frustrated feelings to cry on command to avoid being the bf that can't shed a tear when his gf is bawling. But I can't say I've ever actually cried because I felt bad for another person. Crying from loss? Maybe. I feel sad when prominent people in my life move or pass away, but it never seems like I feel sad like the people around me. I miss them, but it seems like I take a much more rational approach. I don't like that they're gone, but life goes on. Sociopaths can cry because sociopaths have emotions. They just aren't really the same as other people's emotions, so we cry for different reasons.

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    5. I think one of the biggest things is, Empaths will cry because of someone else. If a socio cries, it's because of a personal "issue"

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    6. I have seen people cry for me during a personal-issue- cry and I'm think why are you crying? Does anyone relate to that?

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    7. You wish people were like you, very strong. The only ones who are are people like yourself.

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    8. The few times I cry publicly have been when I know I can't perform what I consider a proper response to a situation. Such as wanting to physically damage someone, or to take a swift and decisive action that is logical. I can't because of exposure, then I think about how useless this whole "appearing normal" thing is and what a waste of energy it is trying to find the right socially acceptable response then I find myself crying. Always at the end its a bit of a comfort because I tend to forget that I'm still capable of crying and that's nice to know in away and in a way it convinces people that I'm "like them" - after all, sociopaths can't cry right ;)?

      Privately, I only cry really when I receive a crippling loss. Being outplayed by forces I can't control. Its more of being a sore looser though than sadness so I just get over it.

      Did I know I was a sociopath? No actually. I just thought I was different. I was researching Aspies for something and stumbled on the definition. My whole life media and such tells you that being one is about murdering pet bunnies and going on sprees of some sort. That's not me, so why would I be one. Yes, I can end things but - I don't go out of my way to do so. Me a sociopath? But then read up the definitions and well from reading on here. ...Yup. Socio.

      How did I feel? Same way as the author; finally there was a word for people with similar views/personality traits I could understand. And no - no struggling at all. Maybe a little smirk. I now know I can't deny who I am - and that there is nothing wrong with that.

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    9. from what i understand i fit the profile of sociopath perfectly. there have even been a few occassions where close friends or family have either confronted me about it, or have said somethin close it, such as telling me im "desensitised" from video games and such. as for crying, i rarely cry and when i do its for selfish reasons, such as manipulating someone by showing so much more emotion than normal. on RARE occasions ive cried alone, mostly from thinking back on things ive lost in my life.

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    10. I actually cry quite easily. But when I do, it's not because I'm sad. When I cry it's because I'm frustrated things aren't going my way, or someone doesn't understand me. Sometimes when people are overly nice to me when I feel irritated this sometimes makes me cry, sometimes someone could sit me down for a serious talk about me, with me.

      From what I've gathered, it's probably because I feel trapped and no other way to express it.

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  2. I agree that sociopaths are more self-aware than narcissists; however, I feel they are highly capable of denying =anything= if it suits their purpose. Whenever my socio ex was confronted about his lies (not necessarily by me), it produced elaborate denials and explanations for which he was extremely quick on his feet. At the same time, he revealed his self-awareness to me in subtle ways. Although his marital temperament changed drastically from his phony empathy of courtship, he slowly revealed his self awareness in small ways. E.g., he bragged about a previous relationship in which he told a g/f how much he enjoyed the song "Sober" by Tool: "I am just a worthless liar, I am just an imbecile. I will only complicate you, trust in me and fall as well. I will find a center in you, I will chew it up and leave..... I want what I want.."

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  3. Of course a sociopath can cry. And no, I don't just mean falsely. We may lack some of the more complex eomotions, but we can still be hurt.

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  4. "Can i ask a question, hopefully in return for an honest answer? Im not going to ask of curiosity, i need to know for my piece of mind.

    Q) Can a sociopath genuienely cry?"


    A: I can say that I've truly cried before.

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  5. When does it hurt enough for a sociopath to cry? Is it out of frustration that they didn't get what they wanted? I have never seen a sociopath cry. They always say, 'look I am tearing up' or 'can you see my tears', or whatever other slight of hand that suggests that they can cry. Or perhaps there is a difference between sociopaths and psychopaths and it is actually psychopaths that can't cry? Does anyone have an answer to this?

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    1. I think sociopaths have basic feelings, never the less those are suppressed. But to witch extent it depends on a person. You can't just put every one into the emotionally retarded group!

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    2. To Jim, I realize you may never see this as I am a few years late publishing. But thanks so much for your post, I was just able to spot another one.

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    3. Again to Jim, Just in case you do see this; I've read different things - some say the two terms are similar with different severities & others that one is an old term vs a more current term. If you can learn to spot the
      shallowness & phoniness, you know you're in a playing field in which you have to take your emotions off the table - if you can. Reminds me of the Exorcist line 'There is only one.'

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    4. Extreme pain can make some us cry.

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    5. I found that when I had just started developing my more sociopathic traits, I was crying less and less. But for me, the masks I would wear would become so instincutal, it wasn't me crying, it was the charecter I was playing at the time. Like if I was with me family, and something sad happened, instead of thinking "this is sad I should cry" I'd think. "They expect me to cry, 'Family Lizzy' would cry" and I would.

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    6. Between the ages of ten and twenty-four, I didn't cry at all. I only cried once, from fatigue. last year.

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  6. Great site and I will be posting about my ex fiancee and finally realizing she is a 'classic sociopath" and what I went and am going through in ending the relationship. Clearly harder for me even though it was 100% my choice.

    But I am posting in this thread because the similarities between my ex and a friend/employee always chilled me to the core. I clearly see he is a sociopath. A good friend or as best he can be.

    His daughter was killed a couple of months ago in a tragic accident. A really horrible worst case scenario.

    I was a pallbearer next to him and he loved her and was crying..But there were some very odd to me disconnects in how he was grieving. It's spooky as hell. I sensed on this level I didn't even want to admit that part of him was 'enjoying' the attention in the days before and after the funeral. I didn't want to admit this to myself and I still don't like thinking it. But it is clear to me, his disconnected emotions just can't feel as a 'normal' person can feel.

    We went out the other night and spoke about how he is doing and he seemed fine. He receited how he cried every night and misses her but once again, it chills me to the core as I just know he is a sociopath.

    He simply states, "I am glad I had her for 19 years and I cherish the memories." I know he means it but the disconnect is so clear and it's not a case of 'shock'. I know the difference.

    He is a good person or as good a person as he can be. He lied, cheated and stole from me countless times. He was a passive aggressive prick always sneaky, manipulative and lying. But I loved him! and I still do because I know it was nothing personal. And he never stole too much or did things that went too far over the top. It's hard to explain in this small space but I always knew what he was and used him as he used me. He made me alot of money and he gave me the ability to ignore my business while he acted like the brains behind it and fed his own ego.

    Fascinating how I feel deeply in love with a female version of him. I quickly figured out something was missing from her and knew she and he shared so much in common.

    Only recently have I finally connected the dots and see she is a true sociopath. I call her my 'baby vampire', I don't tell her that but it's how I now see her.

    She 'loves' as best she can I guess. To destroy her I exposed her to her world and blew up the bridge so she cannot easily come back.

    But I miss her still and am drawn to the flame but my usefullness is reduced and somehow I did not go to her on New Years Eve.

    Anyway, great site and I am rambling.

    I will be posting more about her in the future for sure!

    Happy New Year you Sociopaths! I like you now that I know what you are. Gotta watch myself but it's nothing personal..lolol..

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  8. Seriously, who writes this role-playing garbage? "I have had close friends... blah blah blah" I'm sorry, but sociopaths have close friends? I've read some of these blogs, YOU. ARE. NOT. A. SOCIOPATH. Sorry, doll

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    1. Actually I do have someone who is a friend of mine or as close as he can to being a friend of mine and I will always be loyal to him because he has a quite unique and amusing personality so the point is actually debatable.

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    2. A 'close friend' could be defined as a person with whom you have entrusted information which is valuable to you. Just because someone is a sociopath does not mean they don't enjoy or desire friendship. It simply takes on a more cerebral aspect. In any case, a person who truly befriends a sociopath understands them on some level, whether it's intellectually or intuitively. For a sociopath, you could say that the heart is dead, but the mind is furiously, vibrantly alive. It wants to play. And think of it this way:

      If sociopaths are naturally occurring, if they exist normally in the population, would it not stand to reason that "sociopath allies" also exist? People to whom, through their own flaws or natures, are instinctively accepting of the "alien" nature of a sociopath?

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    3. If the brain is alive, so is the heart. That the heart is not reliable, that's altogether a different point. Ideas can't exist without feelings.

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  9. I can genuinely cry but it's mostly physical pain that might cause it, like a really bad faceplant in gravel ( never when there are people, it doesn't come out ), out of anger, and sometimes if I had a mood swing like I get everytime I write sociopath. DAMMIT IT'S FUCKING ANNOYING

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  10. PostmodernSociopathJuly 17, 2010 at 10:20 AM

    Anonymous directly above:

    You're not a sociopath. Get the fuck over it.

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    1. Do you want to cry even when you read the word "sociopath".
      sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath
      You must be crying out loud now, lol :D

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    2. what i must do is not your concern, you are one of the very few individuals who posses a typical trade: mental retardation.
      if i hogtied you and start skinning the tissue of your flesh i'm sure there is only one who thinks:
      sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath sociopath .
      you'll be the one crying out loud.
      in fact me writing this piece of information gives me a rush, if i where to fantasize even more about torturing inferior life forms like you, i would become more and more obsessed by doing those things.
      i'm diagnosed and they conlcuded: ASPD/PSYCHOPATHY/SOCIOPATHY (they tend to be the same BANNER or synonyms to each other)

      those with empathy are in fact the cancer cell of lifeform evolution on this planet.

      look at the civil war in Liberia, there are 2 sides.
      on one side we have those who choose to be victimized (thank you EMPATHY!!)
      and those who choose to take up arms to keep other goons at bay, those who do so are the ones who survive.

      if you where born in a tribe and you came in contact with a predator (lions etc..)
      what do you do ? do you lay down on the ground pissing your pants and crying for help, or do you make a move to live another day.
      Humanity lives on thanks to ASPD, because they don't have the tendency to be VICTIMIZED.

      therefore i consider my so called disorder a asset as opposed to the whole empathy bonding bullshit.

      Quote by: Adolf Hitler

      "I do not see why man should not be just as cruel as nature"

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    3. Wut? The need to survive is a primal instinct that needs no emotions - though feelings DO rum rampant, the thrill, the rush, and basically a combination of all of them, which provokes the fantastic adrenaline rush - feelings are there (so say the hormones that activate them). Now, you can fight for the survival of other people and that on itself is a level of empathy. Standing up to fight for others - country, home, family - is a level of empathy. Otherwise, you'd not care for them and run away and live them to chance for the sake of your own survival - no empathy at all, plus you end up being the living coward.

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  11. I've cried really hard about a year ago. It was out of frustration of being suckered. I was in control of someone, and figured my game was perfect, and in the end they played me.I was telling them I loved them, and I cared, and I really wanted to, but couldn't. I was angry at not feeling, and even more upset that I was losing a source of unattached entertainment. The crying didn't last long, it happened and after felt like it did nothing to relieve my frustration and suppos-ed sorrow. I rarely ever lose control, so when this happened my only reaction was to cry. It was an eerie out of body experience.

    postmodern sociopath, I couldn't agree with you more. If a person cries because their face hits gravel, odds are they are pretty normal to what proper emotions and reactions they are supposed to have at any given situation. MOOD SWING was also a dead give-away. Just sayin'...

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    1. I will cry if it will get me what I want, but thinking about that, it's probably more fake tears than real tears. It's gotten so instinctual, they seem real, but they aren't

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    2. Whenever I see women i only see them as tools for sex and intellectual manipulation.

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  12. I do know that at my grandmother's funeral I seemed to shock everyone when I didn't cry. I don't know why you would? What's done is done it seems selfish to be in self pitty. In all honestly the fucking suite was itchy and irritating and the music was stupid.

    Can i cry yes i could bring up a few tears if it made you feel sorry or made my apology seem real. Its the way i process things i see them in a different light. I don't see any reason for crying other than having people feel sorry for you. If someone crys around me the noise and the helpness don't make me feel sorry its either amusing or annoying. I don't value this soceity of greed and religion. Their morals and laws mean nothing. This is for the sheep.

    There is a better cause for us. The life of restraint isn't on us. Make your self happy. The past or future mean nothing. If my animalist thoughts of self pleasure are wrong then take that up with the maker. I am as i am and how i was born. This how ever doesn't mean i intend to kill anyone. I just don't really like people around at all.

    So could i legtimatly cry? Why the hell would I? I guess I've never felt the urge. Losing a piece of ass? There's more out there.

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  13. I'm new to site. Have a question. Believe a sociopath recently persuaded me to move to another country. Learned his affairs were shockingly numerous- taking much of his time. He carries on 'relationships' with many women. Moved out within 3 months. He didn't seem to want me to go. Seemed to want me around for some reason (would reach for me when sleeping, or kiss me on cheek when he thought i was sleeping. told me he liked hearing my voice even when he wasn't listening to what i was saying). He sleeps with lots of younger, good looking women. Has plenty of ongoing in person and online relationships. Indulges in porn, multiple sex, one night stands. What would he possibly want from me? I think he knew I wouldn't stay. Why set himself up like that (me he doesn't care about obviously).

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  14. Maybe because you're so easy to ruin.

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  15. Thanks for your reply. You're saying he feels an accomplishment 'making me' move even though I left him almost immediately?

    I never did anything for him I wouldn't have done normally-- didn't give up a job, didn't lend him money, didn't lose friends, didn't change the way i dress, didn't do anything out of my comfort zone socially, sexually, etc. He intro-ed me to his friends, colleagues, family here. They knew I was 'in' his life. And I picked up and left one day. I realize he can come up with some lame lies about why and that he didn't care about me- but his life had a bigger impact than mine in many ways. I work internationally- so moving wasn't too big a deal. He on the other hand has to explain to future conquests at work, his kids, his mom,...

    I don't even have to explain this to anyone - I'm moving in two days.

    I'm far from ruined and he knows it.

    Question is: are you saying just making me move was the end game in itself? I'm just not getting how my dumping him gives him a sense of 'control'. I wonder whether I was supposed to be his 'fig leaf' of being a 'normal' guy. I don't know...I'm pretty far from ruined. I think he'd have to be pretty delusional to think I was.

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  16. You're ruined inside or you wouldn't be here in the first place, much less jumping up and down about how you aren't ruined. You trusted him. You gave him your world and he doesn't give a damn about anything to do with you. You are easily ruined.

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  17. You're right that I trusted him to some extent. My bad. "Gave him my world"? That's pure fantasy.

    We don't all walk away 'ruined.' Some us just think we made dumb mistakes with a world-class asshole.

    I'm here because I'm baffled as to what this guy got out of the whole fiasco. It seems so self-defeating to bring someone to live with you and intro them to people in your life (kids, mom, coworkers, friends) when you know- in advance- your behavior will make them leave you. Esp dumb when your whole life is keeping a up a facade and bedding women. Will he tell his mom I'm the 3rd "crazy" girlfriend he's had?

    Maybe you just answered my question: he had grandiose dreams of making me love him and then 'ruining' me.

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  18. His family and friends know how he goes through women. You are the only one who didn't. They just shook their heads behind your naive back. Sucker. You thought he loved you.

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  19. Had genuine confusion about this guy seeming to try to set me up for long-term. Hoped someone here could shed some light. Instead I'm just fodder for your vicarious thrills. You seem so hostile (so emotion-filled). Calling someone who admits they got played a 'sucker' isn't cruel, it's entirely pointless.

    Sorry to disappoint you, Anonymous. But no- never thought he loved me.

    The way I see it now is that he has to live in the shit-pile that is his life: nasty divorce battle, bad job history, brushes with the law, screwed up kids, broken friendships, boredom.

    I'm leaving all that. The thing about us targets or 'suckers' is...we don't have to live with socio issues for the rest of our lives. With that. I'll sign off for good.

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  20. Yes. Run. Run far. Run fast. Maybe you will outrun your mangled heart. I doubt it.

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  21. i have close friends and ive cried quite a few times in my life... i feel things just like "normal" people just not all things... i think everyones been so angry that they have cried... you cant lump everyone into a set Sociopathic level.. everyone is different... we are who we are. it sucks that you people have been hurt by sociopaths but youve all learned from it and are better people now because of it.. everything that happens in our lives makes up who we are at this moment.. if your happy with who you are then dont complain. if your not happy then you need to find yourself its noone elses fault.. enjoy your day

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  22. In regards to the question can socios cry, yes...but it can be different. The action of experiencing a genuine emotion can cause a manic physiological reaction and result in compulsive tears and intense sense of suffering.

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  23. To the anonymous author of "run run run"

    I see through you....

    You poor twisted little wimp!

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  24. AnonymousDec 3, 2010 05:03 PM
    "Yes. Run. Run far. Run fast. Maybe you will outrun your mangled heart. I doubt it."

    You are trying too hard, it's obvious.

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  25. Author of Run, Run, Run, thank you for your comment. I finally realized how sick and twisted my husband of five years (along with you) really are. I knew he was different, just thought he was an asshole (from his former military career). After doing some heavy research over the past few days, I now know he is a sociopath and I am leaving hime immediately. You all can blame your little twisted mind games on everyone else, however, your supposed victims come out the victor!! You see, we get stronger and grow from our mistakes of being with the likes of you ppl. We can truly love, be loved and have a happy wonderful life, something in which you will never have. You sound just like him, hahaha.....I am the victor!!!! My soon to be ex, well, the way I see it, he's the pathetic victim, and really, so are you!

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  26. Do you actually believe in the existence of a hollow name "Sociopath", that will explain all your griefs and bad experiences with friends & lovers? That's innocent of you, isn't it?

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  27. "Sociopath" is not magic word that can be used as a lighthouse erected in the vicinity of danger as a warning for innocent, badly steered yachts. I know it's bad news, but it is what it is.

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    1. This is an old post...

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    2. You cannot say anything certain about feelings. They are not reliable unless they are very weak or extremely simple.

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  28. I'm curious, did you brought this up for Mee, M.E.? If so, then I feel like Monica right now (don't get too exited, Monica).

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  29. I have the problem that even i I do reveal myself as a sociopath, I'm so good at hiding it, that people don't believe me. If I want someone to know, and believe I'm a sociopath, I have to slowly peal away the mask so they can actually see some semblance of the sociopath behind the lies. While I do want some people to know I'm a socio, I don't want everyone to know, particularly people who I will have contact with long into the future (Ie. Family) because they might start learning to detect my lies and masks and that could be dangerous.

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    1. I don't think call yourself a sociopath makes you better at lying or at manipulating others. Those are objective abilities that people learn and some of then excel in their practice, with or without the sociopath label.

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    2. What I meant was, I have several "acts" for various people in my life, and I've gotten so good at them, they assume they're genuine, including my mum. I tried to tell her I was a sociopath, but she is still convinced I'm her sweet gifted daughter, because that's what I pretend to be around her.

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    3. Maybe the name "sociopath" means nothing to them, and for that I personally give them credit.

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    4. Anon., how do you know you're a sociopath? Sounds to me like you just thrive for attention, you admit to having tailored personalities. Why not have a single, well established personality? That would be much simpler, but in craving attention you created multiple "acts", which would be much harder to maintain. Maybe you're just a jaded attention seeker

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    5. You should be glad that people don't recongise you as a sociopath :) , why should they? What would you gain from this? Understanding, pitty, but do you need it? If they don't believe you, when they are not very smart or just think that sociopathy is something that only villains and maniacs have (which makes them stupid)...

      Hey, could you be a little bit more specific about why do you want for others to know?

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    6. My apologies if I came off a bit "troll-y", I'm just trying to figure out what a sociopath really is. I'm the guy who would (and have) poke a tiger in a zoo with a stick.

      If you really are a sociopath, then as Mee conveyed, why would you care about telling others?

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    7. So they can accept you. So you can feel you are ok the way you are. To be close even though you feel far away. Doesn't everyone want to be loved?

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    8. Yeah? And what if the person you want to be close to has little babies to raise and you get a kick out of the teenager getting one over on the others because you find it hillllllarious. And they catch you in glee mode. What if you laugh maniacally at one of the babies skinning it's knee because of the way it happened--or better yet the baby stuck it's head in a carton of empty soda can like the cat. Because YOU taught the baby how fun it was to try it out, and the baby fell down he stairs and tumbled down and you hoped that it's little bones didn't all break, but you thought it was kind of funny to see the baby fly through the air and richochet off banister and bounce down the stairs like a bowling ball. And the older teen was watching?

      And you have told the daddy you are "different". What happens then? Thrown out of their lives, that's what. Close shmose.

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    9. Well the reason I want people to know is because if they knew I wouldn't have to put on the acts as strongly, which would be a releif because they can be tedious. The acts make things easier, but it'd be even easier just to be "myself" or whatever form of myself is allowed. I don't care if they leave if I'm a socio, but I want them to atleast believe

      Also, 8:32 wasn't me...

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    10. 832, I feel he same way. I am a woman. We like to be close.

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    11. Had you ever tried to act like yourself without telling others that you are a socio? Also what kind of yourself can you show to others, would it be just an another acting role? If you want to act differently, you can just change your act, slowly unmask yourself and later people will know you as the person you will be then. They might think that you are just a cold girl. This way you will be able to act more "yourself" without revealing your identity :) (however someone might get the idea, also you shouldn't change yourself too quickly)
      Also why do you think that you are a sociopath (I'm not trying to say that you aren't, but it still is a posibility).

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    12. @anon 846 see, but that's my point exactly. I'm by no stretch of the imagination a socio, but I do see the humor of your examples. Would I stand and laugh? Probably not, I'd rush to help, but in my head I'd be laughing.

      Just last week, I was working with my brother when he deeply slashed his inner thigh with a utility knife. I immediately laughed to his face and called him a dumbass, but then I proceeded to stitch and bandage his wound. I found it hilarious, but I wouldn't let him get infected/die over it.

      @original poster, normal people fear sociopaths because we see them as predators. Like emotionless, cold, calculating sharks walking around on land. If you unmask yourself to your family they very well may get scared of you. But if they absoulutely know that they're safe from your "bite", so to speak, then they would probably accept you and treat you no differently than anyother family member with a quirky personality. One of my best friends is a socio, he admitted it to me years ago, but we have really awesome intellectual, logical, emotionless conversations that we both value. I don't see him as a threat to me because i'm the guy who feeds the shark, nobody bites the hand that feeds. Naive? Maybe, but if he ever does bite, i'll bite him back and we'll probably both laugh and get over it. Sociopaths are awesome.

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  30. I can only cry when I watch tv, but even then, it's usually quick bursts of emotions followed by a tear or two. When similar scenarios happen in real life, I feel numb about it, or annoyed. Granted, I'm not a sociopath, I don't think, i've spent countless hours trying to figure out what exactly I am. I feel guilt and empathy, the problem is it seems to be randomly selective. I used to love manipulating situations too, but lately i've become engrossed with studying at university, simply ending friendships so as to have more time for school.

    Curious as to what insight the sociopathic community can shed on this. Dafuq is wrong with me?

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    1. Very good description. That's what many people call "shallow feelings". I have the same problem.

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    2. I would say that you are numb from trauma.

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    3. Interesting. I looked up shallow feelings but couldn't find much. The thing is, i've never experienced any trauma, I was a normal kid and kinda slipped into this mode in my late teens. Nothing traumatic ever happend.

      Oh, and I am the original poster, just figured out how to add a handle.

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    4. I'm the same way. Even lame car commercials can make me cry, it's ridiculous. Fictional circumstances effect me way more than real ones. Even with regards to love and sex, fantasizing is way more satisfying than actually doing it.

      I wonder if it has something to do with idealism. Either that, or my life is just too boring right now and I'm simply living vicariously.

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    5. I will say I am a bit of an idealist. Its interesting you bring sex up though, I don't find it appealing unless i'm paying for it or its really emotionally charged. Simply hooking up is unappealing. But I guess that plays into the fantasy realm.

      I don't think its boredom, however. Up untill a few years ago I was living a freaking awesome lifestyle and still felt an emotional detachment at times.

      I think it might be loss of faith in humanity? :)

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  31. I "cried" at my grandmothers bedside when she expired. It was interesting the process of death. Her breathing was labored, peaked... and then her body slowly started to shut down until, about 2 minutes later it completely stopped. I hugged her and could feel her heart still in fibrillation. I felt what to me was extreme anger. I lived with this woman for 13 years. I cried, but I don't think it was for the same reason everyone else in the room was. 2 decades later looking back, I think my reaction would be different. Due to age and awareness mainly.

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  32. Anyone, psycho, socio, empath, and so on, who analyzes their feelings sincere and thoroughly will safely conclude they aren't equal to everyone else's

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    1. Wonderful point. Jose. I have,personally, gained a great deal from your brief stint on SW.

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  33. The Psychology of Psychopaths, Ego, Super-Ego, and Enlightenment

    Psychopaths (and “sentient” computers.. if they exist or will exist) lack a conscience, which means that they lack a super-ego. According to Jung and Freud, the super-ego punishes the ego with feelings of guilt, anxiety, and inferiority. This allows the mind to “auto correct” and leads to maturation. Psychopaths are perpetually stuck at being narcissistic-supply-seeking children. Not only do they feel no emotions, such as the blissful joy associated by being totally connected to God (as described by some enlightened people) or the feelings of “true” love, they feel no remorse for antisocietal actions such as hurting people, stealing, emotional abuse, etc. They are very much real-life devils in human form. They are (knowingly or not) absolutely, and unremittingly miserable! There is no hope for them. Some report to get some sort of smug satisfaction by deliberately hurting others, possibly in order to build up their ego, which sinks back to its abyss after that short-lived ego-boost. Bizarre, huh?

    This leads me to believe that NO psychopaths can be enlightened in a secular or spiritual manner. Poor souls.


    http://prophetalan.com/post/22835773387/the-psychology-of-psychopaths-ego-super-ego-and

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    1. That's a lie. I believe in God, without emotions interfering. It's a belief centered through logic, reason, and observation. I'm no sociopath, but what are emotions, really? Drugs realesed in the brain to stimulate reward or punishment? A belief in God through a chemical "carrot and stick" makes it seem so utterly silly. Enlightenment through logic, the use of our organic super computin' noggin, however, without the chemical "carrot and stick" seems so much more...evolved.

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    2. So who made god?

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    3. If someone/thing made god, than the second is an imposter and the first is the true original. It would be akin to us telling apes WE're gods. The real question is, why can't our brains comprehend anything "bigger" than God?

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    4. Speak for yourself..

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    5. By all means, enlighten me. I only want the truth. If i'm wrong, I'd be no more annoyed than if I had gotten a math calculation wrong. Lol, speak freely my son.

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    6. What evidence do you have for your personal god ?

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    7. "bigger" -- lots of things. Jupiter. The sun. Our galaxy.

      None of them are magical or supernatural, though.

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    8. If you gave two fucks about logic and reason, you would know just how hollow the concept of "belief" is.

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    9. Guys, i'm not trying to start a flame war here. I can see this has the potential to get out of hand, so i'll just drop it. I just wanted an emotionless discussion about it.

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    10. Stickman said..
      Enlightenment through logic, the use of our organic super computin' noggin, however, without the chemical "carrot and stick" seems so much more...evolved.


      the idea is to pause the organic super noggin in order to experience enlightenment. god can be just as much an intellectual crutch as emotional. going with logic alone, god doesn't make sense. but when you add consciousness, a world without "god" doesn't make sense.

      Stickman, can you share with us how you came to believe in god (i'm assuming a personal god) through logic, reason, and observation?

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    11. The real question is, why can't our brains comprehend anything "bigger" than God?

      sure, God maker.

      :)

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    12. Zoe, in a forum for sociopaths, interest in my ideas feels like i'm being baited to be the cats next mouse. Nevertheless, I have no bloody clue what or who God really is. No one can. I only look around and see a beauty in the natural laws of the universe. There is no chaos. There are rational and logical explanations for everything we find...eventually. it almost feels like we're living in a universe built of legos.

      But if there's no chaos, then who put the laws of physics into place? How did they come to be?

      My "God" is the BELIEF, and I stress that word, that something/one put it all together. Otherwise the perceived laws of the universe are nothing more than chaotic happenstance that coincidently work together perfectly. And I happen to not believe in coincedence.

      Oh, and a god maker would be god, would it not? A god's god? Which is the real god? ;)

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    13. God maker is you, Stickman.

      more later... time for my beauty sleep

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    14. StickMan said...
      But if there's no chaos, then who put the laws of physics into place? How did they come to be?


      what is really out there may be as incomprehensible to us as we are to an ant. God out there is incomprehensible, beyond concept. and unchanged by concept. God within is just a concept, our creation that must be kept alive by beliefs. but the incomprehensible does not depend on our concepts.

      finally, there is not "out there" or "within".

      everything we perceive is just a map created from electric impulses that stimulate our senses. change, the senses, change the map. but the perceiving remains.

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    15. "everything we perceive is just a map created from electric impulses that stimulate our senses. change, the senses, change the map. but the perceiving remains."

      I realize this, It was something that blew my mind when I started doing Pre-Med. I'm not arguing against that. But percieved neural interpretatios have nothing to do with whether there really is a god or not. Even if our brains were assigning an order to our perceptions, that would still be order manifested in the universe. Order cannot simply come from chaos. Especially not from the brains of talking monkeys.

      I can tell that youre smart, brilliant really, but as much as god can't be proofed into existence, neither can It be proved to not be. To me, personally, this universe is far too complex for me to think that we, or even advanced alien races-if it came to that, could be the pinnacle of "being". There must be a being, unfathomable as it is, that logic-ed order into existence.

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    16. right back at you with the brilliant!

      i'm not saying there is no god, but what there is may be so alien to us, so beyond our minds to comprehend, that we might not call "it" god and might not even be able to perceive it.

      we always wonder why god doesn't show himself. maybe he does. maybe he's always there and all around, but our brains just can't perceive him? maybe there is no him? maybe god is a giant squid? or a blob of complex electricity..

      :)

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  34. "narcissistic-supply-seeking children"...

    I like that - probably close to the truth. Psychopaths are without doubt emotionally autistic. But to paint them in such a black and white manner is too simplistic. As has been mentioned before there are sliding scales for personality disorders. The medical profession avoids labelling and diagnosis because a) it does no good and at worst becomes self-fullfilling, and b) humans are generally too complex to label correctly.

    Enlightenment is subjective as well.

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  35. Has anyone here played "games" with a sociopath and learned their game;)? Become romantically involved and realized how mirroring a sociopath can help in many aspects of life. There are some good things to be learned..such as no fear of other people's opinions, no embarrassment..ever, I would even say people like sociopaths they like someone who doesn't give a s****.. they just don't realize why they like them. There's something highly attractive about living life for yourself and never caring about what others say. I think for a sociopath other people are something they hate or are mostly indifferent to...am I wrong?

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  36. I've learned you do NOT want to make a sociopath cry. They will ruin you they hate to lose control and when it happens a switch is flipped. They respond by turning more emotionless and socipathic. They do not like to cry and will hate the object that made or witnessed them do it.

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    1. That is ridiculous.

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    2. It's true you don't want to make a sociopath cry, crying makes people weak, and being perceived as weak can make sociopaths more aggressive.

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    3. If someone makes me cry deliberately I will make them pay. My tears are expensive.

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    4. How much for a bucket of your tears, Miss ?

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    5. You can't afford it why are you asking?

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    6. I can't afford you, you're right. I just wanted to make you talk to me. You enthrall me lol.

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    7. *sigh* You poor thing.

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    8. Finally, someone that can spell l-o-s-e correctly

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  37. Socio cries when loses, narcissist when winsMay 11, 2012 at 5:42 AM

    A sociopath told me that he once cried in front of his young lover during love-making when she realized that he just called her with the name of his older lover who was presented as only a colleague till then.

    I have seen a narcissist cry when telling a story about her past birthday when her colleagues decorated her office with a bunch of flowers. By the same token, Freud fainted upon receiving an award.

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  38. Fucking cry babies, need a tissue ?

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  39. Is the sociopath simply stunted in emotional growth such that others matured and developed a higher facility to deal with the emotional nature which exists in all children and he didn't. The sociopath stayed stunted here--even though he grew in intellect.

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  40. Replies
    1. Thanks :)
      Actually by reading this blog I became less confused about myself and changed a little bit too, but that doesn't count :D

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    2. Themes for SW RegularsMay 11, 2012 at 4:33 PM

      :)

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  41. I am not a sociopath but honestly if an organism takes care of itself first and foremost how can we call it stunted? It looks like everybody is simply being true to themselves and we have a wide variety of people.

    It is all about understanding others and protecting the self. Having said that I realize no life is sufficiently long enough to get it all down. Hence comes luck, the chaos, the surprise. Gotta love it as it comes, or suffer on. Ouch.

    Control... May we all be relatively free and not enslave ourselves to anyone or any concept.

    I used to take UKan and his seriously at the beginning. What a joke everybody is at the end. Just look at any carcass. If only I learn to completely not take myself seriously within the next five years, I'll feel I have achieved something. Sociopaths to me have mastered this. The reason they cannot take others seriously is they cannot take themselves seriously, anything goes. All failure justified, all loss meaningless since never cared for much anyways. Hats off to these guys (today only, they will always remain the party only for entertaining purposes in my book).

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    1. Sceli
      I never said I was more than simple. You made that error in judgement.

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    2. Not seriously because when we look in the mirror we say tomorrow is another day and screw the emotions I felt today?

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  42. Ok. So, relating to self awareness and such. I want to know if anyone else has had a similar experience. I have a feeling my situation is a-typical. And, sorry for the lengthiness.

    Depressed from early childhood, I was emotional but distrusting and forced to be independent from family circumstances. In my teens, I discovered self destruction, parasitism, sadism, and reading people. I recall a teacher explaining the difference between compassion and empathy, and empathy seemed totally foreign and unattainable. As I grew, my self esteem dropped (like any teenager) and I found myself oddly codependent and in an abusive relationship by the time I was 17. This was worth mentioning because I had done a 180. I was SUPER emotional, and empathetic. After the relationship ended I was a walking-wound for years. I eventually healed my PTSD and strained to stop my sadistic nature. I really, really tried. I did. I learned how to lead a healthy life and tried to keep myself out of situations where I would revert back to old destructive ways. But as grew I found I had no "danger" sensor that warned me I was in trouble. Life got the best of me and through mistakes and unchangeable circumstances I became traumatized again. I'm now colder and more calculating than I've ever been. I have learned a lot and now I strive for a balance. I care for my emotions like you maintain a car. And found that I have a deep understanding of, and can manipulate my emotional side to get things done. I've stopped dating completely. My emotional side is still broken. I'm trying to be smart about this, be independent and make good choices. I don't think I would be as concerned with self preservation if I wasn't trapped in survival mode for the good part of a year. Also bleeding out in the hospital and reviving to them taking your time of death down in the records system will also do that. (long story!) My point is now that I'm taking my collective knowledge and running with it. So not i'm trying to make a better life for myself and see what I can accomplish.
    I wasn't self aware until about two months ago. I always thought empaths were extreme, never taking into account it was me on the edge of the spectrum.

    So, what I want to know is if a true sociopath can have wavering empathy? I feel like I'm more dangerous now because I have high emotional intelligence and can exploit my own emotions. I think being self aware has been a detriment in a way because I feel like it shows. Perhaps I'm paranoid. I'm really glad for SW, its been a great education piece. :)

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    1. You sound like you are an empath who threw it away and got hardened because you never wanted anyone to hurt you that way again.

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    2. Do you think you can unharden?

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    3. If you were born a sociopath, you would not have had that level of heartbreak to begin with.

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    4. Some things take a long time? Ask the one who talks about healing the false self. So far I have only been hurting. I am not so very young andI don't want to spend my life crying for nothing. I really don't know the answer.

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    5. Can you unharden? Yes, but the pain will be so bad that only a spiritual walk will get you through it.

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    6. I have to go but I hope we can talk later. TY

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    7. Anon, 9:45 you might be right. Thank you
      And Anon 9:51, that is a good point.

      I don't know if I can unharden. I am looking to create a situation where that would be possible.

      Thanks for all of your responses.

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    8. You are very welcome.

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    9. Please, share your story of almost dying, if you would be willing Grey.

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    10. Thank you for your interest, but I don't think I will be sharing here. The length and content of the story are not blog appropriate. If you're still interested I welcome you to email me on my Blogger profile.

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    11. Thank you for your interest. The length and the content of the story are not blog appropriate. If you are still interested, I welcome you to email me on my Blogger account.

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    12. Seriously. How in the hell do you manage to exploit your own emotions?

      In regard to: "if a true sociopath can have wavering empathy?"
      Empathy, which means literally "in feeling", is the capability to appreciate, understand, and accept another person's emotions/condition from their perspective. Research has uncovered the existence of "mirror neurons," which react to emotions expressed by others and then reproduce them.

      I noticed in a long term "relationship"/experience with a Narcissistic (not a Narcissist) Borderline Sociopath he had very shallow emotions. He cared when he wanted to, literally (not physically in the way I am currently describing, but mentally/emotionally - like a *switch). When he didn't get is way (i.e past relationships had a history of the girls not wanting him... and it was the same for me too, I obviously didn't want to feel that way for all but 3- months of it out of ugh, too long) Anyways, he would get highly emotional, so I heard from those previous ones. A friend of his died and he showed almost nothing. What happened was a loss to him and was out of his control. I knew he cared for her, maybe in a way of "what could have been..." as well, but there was a disconnect and I was quite concerned.

      ...... I don't know. Point being. He got emotional, as a borderline. He had strong feelings at certain points so if empathy means “in feeling” it should be possible for him to ACUTALLY empathize given his negative experiences and mental state from those and other people's. So when the other people say their best friend died, he SHOULD be able to empathize given his experience. But, given he's a borderline it's the switch concept I mentioned so… my guess is yes it wavers, just as mine does, as …..an empath. It's essentially all a benefit for a person's mind.
      Does this make sense in the slightest? I am quite tired, but I think I conveyed the point, granted the "background" was... terribly written and highly likely way off considering I combined certain contexts for space and confidentiality, but still produced the same emotional point.
      Oh, stereotypical portrait of a sociopath - no empathy. Ever.

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    13. Grey, this sounds like BPD, not sociopathy/ASPD. You're not in a relationship now and notice how different you are. That is common with beepers. I don't know much about it, but some of the beepers here can no doubt offer some further insight

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    14. Ok, I will write Grey. I have one question, though. Did you have an actual Near Death Experience with the Light,the Love, the tunnel etc?

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    15. Exploiting your emotions is just really reading yourself well, and pulling your repertoire out of your ass when you need to. You pimp out your own expressions To yourself.

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    16. Anon 4:50, oh, nothing like that. I was gone for 15 minutes. No bright lights or, somehow, imps with pitchforks. ;)

      Bright Eyes- kind of like Anon 8:48 said. I have my feelings compartmentalized like box of crayons. When I need one, I pull it up. Its like self manipulation. I can thrown on the sincere mask when I need to make an apology- feel genuinely remorseful- cry- convince myself and as soon as they turn their back, the shows over. I bet I could pass a lie detector.

      Your friend sounds complicated. And in some ways eerily relateable.

      This BPD stuff is getting warmer.. Thank you Elicious and Bright Eyes for the revelation. I'm afraid that its possibly multiple things.. I'm going to be contacting my insurance company on Monday to get connected with a Doctor. Today has been a tough day for me, acknowledging I have a problem I can't fix. I'm so angry things turned out this way. But all I can do is deal with it.

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    17. Oh. When you said "I have a deep understanding of, and can manipulate my emotional side to get things done. . . . I have high emotional intelligence and can exploit my own emotions. I think being self aware has been a detriment in a way because I feel like it shows."

      Rather than saying you put on a more successful emotional facade on, I thought you learned how to literally control how you felt... for your own benefit and for more than a show. Something as simple as "I did this so I actually feel bad" ... and you don't want to so you find a "happy emotion" (like your crayon box) and make it real, without "burying" the other emotion... Just changing it out, SOMEHOW. I know it's possible by distraction and/or if you actually care or not. (Do you care because the naughty deed was traced to you and your ego is bothered or do you actually have guilt.)

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    18. Oh, and you saying "I'm afraid that its..." etc. makes me think that you are less of a mess than you think you are... =] .....so don't worry too much.

      We're all fucked up fucks.

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    19. I hope so. :)

      Its really difficult to explain what I mean with the summoning of emotions. And I can summon up feelings when I need to, AND can switchout. Its weird. But since I don't frequently feel things anymore, there's very little swapping involved.

      The one thing I haven't mastered yet is dealing with PTSD. I seem to have an unnatural control over my emotions and impulses. But when I'm reliving trauma, its a physical thing. Strange enough, I don't have the feelings, I just have the physical reaction. PTSD is as much physical as it is mental. I know its PTSD because when I had feelings and I got these attacks, I would get muscle weakness in my chest and arms. I may suppress the emotions, but I have the physical reaction, so I know its been triggered. Weird stuff.

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    20. I have this, too.

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    21. Is the "summoning of emotions" difficult to understand, yourself? Usually when I can't explain something, it's that I can't talk down enough to someone's level or, more often, I don't understand it well enough myself.
      (I.E - How to paint well. I am fantastic at it, but can't explain beyond the mere mechanical example of how to do a certain stroke with this color over that to get this effect. I can’t explain “how I just know.” I understand, very well, how I sense what I am supposed to do and know why I deep down sense it. It's very aggravating, but! it gives me incentive to further improve my understanding of that, information processing, and communication etc. etc. etc...... hence the reason I keep going on this blog site and asked about that emotion stuff. It seems my art analogy would correlate with how you can't really explain it, but I figured I would still ask.

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    22. Thats a very insightful observation. I know there are things out there I *think* I explain well, but its only clear from my perspective. I think knowing who you are speaking to, assists in your angle of explanation. I know it affects how I express myself. Since this "summoning" is relatively new (the last year only) I am not skilled at expressing it, or possibly understanding it. I don't know if there's depth beyond the surface level for much of this. It may explain why I'm here and examining all these possibilities.

      Everything I'm experiencing *feels* like a twisted defense mechanism shaped by trauma, abuse, and wisdom. I learned how to victimize by being a victim. I have a new set of advantages I never asked for. What I want, more than anything, is the impossible. I can't have the life I deserved, but so what? Who actually gets what they deserve?
      Whether I have "learned" my way into mental illness, or have "learned" my way into a smoother existence is just a diagnosis away.

      Guess I got off track there, didn't I? :) Must have needed to be expressed I suppose.
      So Bright Eyes.
      I've ranted long enough about myself.
      You are an Empath, am I correct? What has brought you to Sociopath World my dear?

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    23. Iiiiiiiii don't know what the fuck I am.
      Naturally, "empath" pops into my mind, but that is at the least 65% incorrect. I, at rare times, have trivial and overwhelming emotions, but I see through them, and that confuses me in itself. Of course there are exceptions to this, but unlike, to my knowledge, every “neurologically normal” person I’ve met …I can’t lie to myself. Often people look at hindsight and say “they knew it all along, and they figured, and they guessed right after all,” but that’s not what I am describing, as you probably picked up on. I may consciously pretend (i.e in a relationship) to be clueless because it’s more beneficial than breaking his dick at the time, but that is a story for a different day… Haha. I live by everyone, in actual fact, has 0.0% reason to be honest. I came to this site… because when he was gone, I realized how fucked up I am in relation to everyone else and started researching and here I am. More fucked up.

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    24. How To Heal a PDMay 13, 2012 at 3:59 AM

      The "twisted defense mechanisms" are what I am trying to figure out how to take down. That answers the question someone asked me on an earlier article.

      Under these twisted defense mechanisms is your pristine self and mine and everyone who was not born with a PD(which is rare) How to get under the defense mechanisms is the question. It is one of the most worthwhile endeavors for a person imo. That is why I am doing it and I am doing it, albeit slowly.

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    25. HTHaPD- Thats really interesting. I'm far from an expert, but my intuition says a defense mechanism has no use outside of "combat." which, for a highly sensitive person could unconsciously be all the time. Sometimes I want to just blame the world. I know I wasn't born like this, I was made. I feel like this is SO ingrained in me now that changing the world might be an easier solution. lol. In my case, I need my armor. Its why I'm alive. I forced vulnerability once in my life and it was not fun! But I learned there are genuinely harmless people out there who had no intention of harming me. I think that is why I avoid them. I need to protect the part of the world that keeps me human.

      And Bright Eyes, can you explain what you mean by 'See through your emotions'? You see their purpose, or lack of? Or you experience them weakly?

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    26. “Normal people” get deluded by their emotions.
      Unlike an empath and a sociopath, I get clouded and yet I still ultimately see clearly... while somewhat trying to bury the reality to myself because it's emotionally damaging, but I can't and don't. I do, however, pretend. I was in a long “secret relationship” after the year and a half public one with the same person….crock of shit and I knew it, but he didn’t know I knew about his other ones to the extent I did over time (the first one was two months into it...). He thought I was almost clueless and that he was in control …that underneath his charm was what he truly was, but no, "circles crossed"/people talk and he's fucking retarded, as intelligent as he is. Anyways I knew and almost reveled in it at times. See, it would be assumed that I am now only looking at hindsight, but that’s just it! I could never actually lie to myself. I would PRETEND and lie to him …because the benefit outweighed the loss …but! I knew that I merely wanted to pretend and believe it which was good and bad... When you have the ability to feel guilt, and you see through your own motives which should be subconscious, a mind eventually get's trivialized when shit hits the fan, which is what happened recently. Hence the reason I am here.
      Prior to a brief explanation of that, who doesn’t want to stay with the most compatible person they’ve met so far when there is no one better around …and it would be nice if it “worked out”? Happily ever after don’t exist. Fairly tales drugged us and I understand that and understood that, then. I wanted him in my life and in that way so I had it, until I got so disgusted with how apparently stupid he thought I was. …….Mhm. After over 4 ½ years together, whatever that was… he asked a girl out three days after we slept together etc. and ended our secret thing “for my benefit” (ha-ha-ha- ha) and asked her out so soon to make sure we didn't get back together again... and I found out he slept with her within a month… after cheating on her…. With me when we were supposed to only take a nap… in his bed. He was acting like an absolute prick behind her back to me so I had something cum of it. (Pun intended.) He felt no guilt. - SWITCHED emotions out. He asked why not just brush it off? (Which I audio recorded. Yum.) And later he told me he told her what happened, to try and regain his “nobility” in my eyes… which NEVER existed… He clamied he was a virgin when we met. No. He kept that lovely lie all the way through. Anyways. You ask why did he publicly date her when we were done? – A hook up at a private college – a discount and, well, is does actually like her… as much as he can anyways. You can’t love someone and look into their eyes and say it if the entire relationship is based on lies – on purpose for selfish reasons. He loves his power. Ha, I’m still just a little pissed off that things didn’t go my way. My pride was damaged... basically.

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    27. Interesting read. http://www.guidetopsychology.com/honesty.htm

      Delete
    28. This came from there: Many children who have been wounded by this dishonesty often reach a point in their lives at which they resolve that they will never allow themselves to be deceived by anyone ever again. And then, sadly, for the rest of their lives they are deceived by their own pride. It was ironic so I thought I'd share. I highly recommend that you look there. There is a lot about trauma and the the unconscious.

      Delete
  43. Who the fuck cares what Sceli has to say ? Ukan, do you really care ?

    ReplyDelete
  44. I care enough to tell her what I think.

    ReplyDelete
  45. I think you're being too nice ;)

    ReplyDelete
  46. I see myself as simple in my wants and needs, but intelligent in my drives.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I see myself simple to myself and very multifaceted to others.

      Delete
  47. :) Who is Blud-Klot, UKan? Seems like I've stopped on her/his toes at some point under another name. Clearly not a sociopath.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was wondering about Blud-Klot, too. Who are you? Fess up.

      Delete
    2. Says the person using an Anon handle.

      Who am I ? Another asshole on an online forum like you. Really need an explanation to figure that out? Or were you expecting a name DOB and address ?

      Delete
  48. Blud-Klot is Raven/Turk, the bi-sexual white trash mom from California.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Do you mean Nasty cheeks?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I was a woman, I would lock myself in a room all day and carrot fuck myself.

      Clearly you weren't around months ago when I was posting for the first time. If you want to know more, do your own research you lazy fuck ;)

      Delete
    2. ha if you were a woman BK, you really wouldn't.

      but if you were a man with a woman's body parts..

      Delete
  50. I have been paying close attention to what Jose Javier says as I think he has wisdom. I try to avail myself of wisdom when it comes my way, as I need it.

    What I realize from looking within is that I am so friggin angry that I could kill. If my inhibitions went down, you better hide every claw hammer because I would be going to town.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now you sound a lot better, Monica :)

      Delete
    2. Because it looks like you stopped complaining and started thinking, so you are making progress :)

      However I would like to hear anything, as long as it's interesting from you, but I still like to laugh a little bit, well I'm a socio, remember? :D

      Delete
    3. Disagree... woman needs to stop thinking, more action.

      Anger is almost an action, so that's something.

      Delete
    4. Actions are based on thinking and emotions. Action is a realisation of idea in your head, even spontaneous actions are created by spontaneous ideas, but actions are easier to see, so we are both right :)
      And the fact that Monica is a little bit better now remains unchanged.
      -Mee

      Delete
    5. She thinks Jose has wisdom. 'nuff said

      Delete
    6. I realize why I am resistant to help unless I really respect the person who gives it. I started going to shrinks at age 12. I got worse and worse and worse until I realized I would lose all my sanity if I didn't stop. I stopped and have used the time since( about 10 years) to try to get my sanity back.I do not allow anyone into my mind unless I have consummate respect for them, as I don't have too much of a way to go before I lose my precious sanity.

      I found someone whom I respect enough to listen. He is the most truly spiritual person I have ever met. He had 4 NDE's and went to Heaven. He begged God not to send him back but God said he had more to do on the earth. When he talks, I listen. He told me I was wallowing, basically. So, I stopped.

      Delete
    7. Shrinks say don't wallow, too.

      Delete
    8. They SAY it but they wallow, by definition. Don't get me started on shrinks.

      Delete
    9. " I started going to shrinks at age 12. I got worse and worse and worse"

      I think you are correct, Monica. Because of cognitive disturbances of some sort, trying to force insight down your throat, as shrinks and people here do, only causes further disorganisation. Therefore, it is damaging to you. It is abuse.

      Delete
    10. Right, Elicious. It was unintentional abuse, of course, usually. However, the net result was that I got worse. I have never seen a person get truly better with a shrink.I have seen someone become a talking head, spouting all the words. I have seen this numerous, numerous times. This is to be expected. However,I have never seen true gut level health, ever.

      Delete
    11. I gave my last shrink directions for how he should be with me.I told him to be strict with me. I walked away feeling battered and judged. And he wouldn't use the word borderline. He told me I was making myself sick by putting a label on myself. I am furious with him and furious with myself. I was the fucking patient. Waste of time with all this introspection. I told him I was aware of my body language that I could see the angles of my body from his viewpoint but he did not see this as a disturbance in being in the moment. He did not see this as my jail. Who the fuck watches them self and others like they are the camera ?

      Delete
    12. It's water under the bridge. I don't blame anyone. Neither of us knew what it was.

      Delete
    13. Changing your point of view helps very often. Imagine if you had never learnt to feel guilty, if you had been taught another kind of responsibility, if you had been able to learn freedom instead of having it imposed on you... things would have been different, and maybe they still could be. Ánimo!!!

      Delete
    14. I don't understand, Jose. What does guilt have to do with anything?

      Delete
    15. Guilt is the feeling that society demands from the wrong doers. Many people, especially religious ones, think that without guilt society would be lost, personally I am not so sure. Surely guilt can motivate someone, can make them ready to self sacrifice, but positive motivations work better in the long run, in the big picture...

      Delete
    16. Jose I find what you say here indicative of the way I have felt about my own "guilt". It is short lived. I mean real short lived. When someone has done me wrong, I expect they meant to, because *I* mean to do everything I do. Well , not everything, but you know, I believe that when I have fucked up, I have meant to. I may regret I have done so, but I believe that is life, and I refuse to reject the notion that I didn't do or not do exactly what I wanted to do. Hence, little guilt. And I have been very angry at others for telling me they are guilty when I cannot imagine they have also done exactly what they wanted. this is a problem. I don't know if this is paranoia or if it is true that others don't mean to do exactly what they choose to do, they just want others to think they feel guilty. In other words I am projecting my feelings/beliefs onto them. This knowledge or belief or extreme pragmatism is not good for a number of reasons:

      1-My beliefs have been wrong. I do not believe people when they say they feel bad, and I have stated to others their faux guilt is quite nauseating and pussyish. It's not always cool to point things out to people, I've noticed. And it's not always cool to tell them I do not believe them.

      2-I have got to always check in with outsiders, as I do not believe people are honest with themselves. This has caused me to just not believe some people. A lot of people. When I tell them they are full of shit, they get defensive.

      3-I'm afraid I think people are very disappointing. I give them slack, as I realize some are deluded, but I am left dissatisfied by them, always trying to figure them out, trying to see if they are genuine.

      In the past I have been brrrrruuuutally honest with people. They are not happy. I have come to keep things from them. I have come to lie to them. I do not think they are able to handle my honesty. I MUST lie. And I fucking hate to see myself do it. I am always calculating in my head very quickly and planning ahead my conversations to them, drilling myself like a fucking lawyer drills a client for cross examination. This is really annoying.

      Here is another fucked up part. If I notice someone has done the same as I, I am thinking that is fucked up they are a liar -ha. I mean isn't that fucked up? If they calling me out I will admit and say gee you know I wasn't aware, or I will tell them they are astute or something complimentary so to dissipate their annoyance.

      If they do the same to me, and I'm like what the fuck you are like me, I start to not trust them.

      What is this? I see much projection and paranoia. And what else? Is this narcissism? Is it practical intelligence? Or just jaded? It's pretty sad, though, and I feel a bit alone.

      Delete
    17. you know, I just do not trust people .Most people.

      Delete
  51. I can only be completely honest with those I don't need.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don't need me. Now then... confess all of your sins, my child. It will feel so good to purge.

      Delete
    2. 7:52, would you mind telling me where or how you came up with this statement for yourself? I agree with you.

      Delete
  52. I've not posted on here in weeks, and you're still mentioning me. Classic!

    ReplyDelete
  53. Is there a way to turn off the auto-scroll-to-the-end business happening on this blog? It's not helpful, mostly annoying and effects the forum, too, and it does it at times it doesn't make sense.

    Browsers do it on their own upon refresh, to the place you left off, but Blogger does it all-fucked up like and fucks it all up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. y should I help you? theres nothing to gain... ill tell u if you answer one simple question. do you use violence whenever a person insults your physical appearence?

      Delete
    2. I use a mirror and a comb. Is that violent?

      Delete
  54. Hey-

    My dad is a sociopath. Because of him i did not talk to my mother in five years. I was mad and her and i pittied him because he allways was like a little brother to me, eventhough i only was 13, and he is my father. LOL guess i got played. I still pitty him though, because he will never experience real happiness..... life goes on. And eventhough i have feelings, my balls are at the seize of the sun, and none of you fools will ever be able to match up to me in anyway :D not intellectually, not in sports, not in looks, and not in mind games. wow im beginning to sound like a sociopath myself, if it wasnt because i am speaking the thruth ;b well, enjoy youre pointless lifes. (:

    ReplyDelete
  55. I have a question I hope someone can answer... I am diagnosed with borderline personality disorder as well as bipolar disorder. I have been dating a man who I'm convinced is a sociopath. Is there a huge attraction between people with different mental illnesses? Is the illness the attraction? Have any of you other sociopaths become attracted to people with other illnesses?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I find that people with certain medical conditions have a predisposition to act certain ways as do those that are raised in similar environments. I like to think of myself as a product of my environment, but in reality I have just been fuQt over by the WORLD and am mad as hell. I lie to make myself sound less fuQt up. Wether it be being homeless or growing up in an opium den shit's all the same. My boy from Fitchburg, MA is schizophrenic and I have schizo-affective features and we both share a hatred for the world because we both grew up bastard childs and in drug addled enviroments. I am, as well as my other mentally ill friends, attracted to the mentally ill.

      Delete
    2. I find that people with certain medical conditions have a predisposition to act certain ways as do those that are raised in similar environments. I like to think of myself as a product of my environment, but in reality I have just been fuQt over by the WORLD and am mad as hell. I lie to make myself sound less fuQt up. Wether it be being homeless or growing up in an opium den shit's all the same. My boy from Fitchburg, MA is schizophrenic and I have schizo-affective features and we both share a hatred for the world because we both grew up bastard childs and in drug addled enviroments. I am, as well as my other mentally ill friends, attracted to the mentally ill.

      Delete
    3. Also I'm only 17 and "reveal" myself to everyone because no one wants to believe it. I've only ever felt especially close to my "boy" in Fitchburg and another sociopath who lived near by but am no longer in contact with. Like I said, no one wants to believe it and in my own mind I'm laughing hysterically. I'm a pretty manipulative fucker, but subtly so.

      Delete
  56. Also I have a schizo-affective component to myself. I have a paranoid quality, though I am not actually schizophrenic or schizo-affective. This paranoia often has me tip-toeing through relationships and it makes me put extra effort into making sure people like me so I can get what I want from them. I think most people view me as a hypochondriac that wants to be a sociopath but really this is just me. I enjoy getting inside peoples heads and analyzing people.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Check this out: I had a friend (so-called) that I took in my home over and over again because she had nowhere else to go... She was my friend of 20 years, so being the EMPATHETIC person I am, I let her in my home not having a freaking clue she was a sociopath, feeding off of my emotions and life with my husband and kids. Hell I did not know what that word meant!! Mind you I am also a very forgiving and loyal friend to a fault!! The first time I let her in my home she stole, lied and tried to TAKE my life. Still my dumb ass did not know what or who she was and a few years later I gave her another chance and let her in my home AGAIN!! She again took my kindness for weakness and only then did I realize what she and most of society is...she lied, stole and tried to take my life...the second time I was weak and listened to the lies she told, in turn almost doing to myself what she had set out to do to me, whether intentionally or just plain evil! In the end because I had her in my life, knowing what emotional and physical pain a sociopath can cause, led me to NOT trusting a single person. You sociopaths NEED help, some mental help, with a large dose of your own painful actions that are inflicted onto other's!! As for me I am very angry but still have EMPATHY, COMPASSION AND GUILT for my own actions!! Live up to what you have inflicted onto other's, as painful as that may be for you people. By the way: I am and will seek my revenge secretly and slowly... If that is possible for people like you!! And when I do get my revenge, which has taken years of plotting and planning, I will feel GUILT for doing to a sociopath what has been done to me. Lastly, sociopaths impact people, families and put people through LONG-TERM emotional pain. Grow a fucking heart, get some meds, go to a fucking mental institution because you do not deserve society!!!

    ReplyDelete
  58. What do sociopaths think about people taking an offensive stance in order to protect themselves from sociopaths?
    Also do sociopaths believe other people should protect themselves from the sociopath, or would that be to empathic of a concept to consider?

    ReplyDelete


  59. Am tori from Canada i want to share my life experience to every body

    on this site.i was in a serious relationship, i love my boyfriend so

    much that i can die for him, we dated for about 6 years .until he meet

    another girl called Vivian he told me that he is no longer interested

    in me any more. i was so confuse i don't know what to do.so i told my

    friend about what my boyfriend told me and she told me that she i

    should not worry that my problem is solve , i was doubting her how can

    that be possible.so she directed me to a spell caster
    called prophet salifu online . so i contacted him and i explain every

    thing to him and he told me that my problem will be solved within two

    days if i believe i said OK.So he cast a natural love spell for me and

    after two days my love came back to me begging me on his knees on the

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    via__prophetsalifu@yahoo.com , prophetsalifu@gmail.com and

    udaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  60. this is the wrong forum for love spells you canadian fool.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Hi everyone
    Ill just come straight out with it and say that I fully consider myself to be a sociopath (or at least something very similar) Ive always felt different to others and looking back to when I was younger (I'm 16 by the way) I can remember how shocked my dad was that I can happily look someone in the face and lie without the slightest care, and how I was able to manipulate my teachers by deceiving them that I was a good honest person to get what I wanted, but what I wanted to know is firstly when I was younger I was able to feel love, but due to a string of 7 girls all hurting me in various ways (I won't bore you with the details because to be frank they don't deserve the time for me to talk about them) i have become less and less caring to a point where i can deal with a rejection in a day before turning to the next girl and now I just can't fee any emotions to the point that I was able to completely shut out someone who was once a close friend once she had out lived her usefulness and began to annoy me I also managed to convince others to turn on her and even turn her own boyfriend against her leaving her with nobody just for spite but still I feel nothing, what my questions are is that is it possible that I was born with sociopathic tendency's and the loss of those girls has unlocked the full sociopath inside me for want of a better phrase? Also I have a friend who I have always suspected to be a sociopath as well, is it also possible for two sociopaths to forum a kind of friendship?

    ReplyDelete
  62. I just figured out I am a sociopath and I am very bothered by it. I realize I have certain emotions that I seem to fake on a genuine level because I want the person to believe me even if I feel that way or not. I am very worried at how I have acted toward my family and friends, and my daughter. Manipulations to make someone do what i feel is right or just is wrong of me because after all i'm the one witha problem not them. Look I don't know what to do or who to talk to about this. I need to try and make changes to better my relationship with everyone around me. Can someone post a site to where I can talk with professional people as well as individuals suffering with this (disease) for lack of better words? I would really appreciate the help to try and make life for my family and myself alittle smoother.

    ReplyDelete

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