Friday, May 4, 2012

Bad guy

I walked in on my flat getting burglarized today.  I live in the worst neighborhood.  I was burglarized the first week I was here, luckily before my stuff had even arrived from the movers.  I thought about moving again but it was such a pain.  And I don't really have anything to steal.  I'm very anti-consumerist, I hate owning things, so anything valuable tends to be gifts from other people that I don't care much about.

One night a few months ago there was a banging on my door just after midnight.  I had just gone to bed and wasn't yet asleep, reading from my phone.  I just let them keep banging, figured it was a case of mistaken identity and eventually they would give up.  People had mistaken my flat before.  In fact, exactly a week before someone had left a love note after some loud middle of the night banging: "Don't think, act.  Meet me at the XXXX.  Hearts and kisses!"  I assumed it was a case of mistaken identity.  This time the banging wouldn't stop, though.  Was this the love note writer's spouse, angry to discover an infidelity and both of them still unaware mine was the wrong flat?  After more than a minute of  pounding, I finally got up and walked over to my door to peep outside, but they were gone.  A few minutes later there was pounding on my back door.  Someone had managed to climb up the fire escape.  They tried the door knob several times, then they seemed to be trying to shake the small door from its hinges.  I turned on a light.  They must have seen I was not who they were hoping for and ran off.

This time I walked in on two guys.  At first I didn't realize what was happening.  They of course did and scurried off out the back window where they had come in.  I ran after them just a little bit, but then figured that most of my stuff seemed to be piled up in the center of the room, so what was the point.  The police came, at my neighbor's insistence.  I had no idea how to act.  Scared?  Concerned?  I ended up just being friendly, but it came off as being flirty.  Maybe that's ok.  It's these unusual circumstances that are certain to trip me up in terms of acting normal, I realized for the hundredth time.

The afternoon blown on conversations with police and neighbors, I finally got ready to go take a swim but couldn't find my waterproof ipod.  Those bastards.  The thing that really bothered me is that they wouldn't even recognize that it is waterproof, at 5 times the normal cost.  To some pawnbroker, it would just be an outdated ipod.  So wasteful.  Goodbye dear ipod, we had such lovely moments together.

Because I couldn't listen to music, instead I thought about these burglars of mine and wondering, do they think they are bad guys?  See, I'm so much more interested in the stories we tell ourselves rather than our actual behavior.  And I had just spent hours listening to my neighbors and the police say what pieces of human trash the burglars were.  It was sort of a dick move to take my external harddrive, which couldn't be worth that much to anyone but me, who had a million personal files stored on it.  They were about to take my mobile charger.  What?  How much could they get for that, versus how annoying would it have been for me to go right then to a shop to replace it because I had just lost my spare.  And it's obviously dangerous work.  What if I had a weapon?  Or they did leave their gloves, which apparently can keep fingerprints themselves.  And I yelled disparaging things at them as they ran away like scaredy cats.  That must not feel good to the old ego, right?  I wondered quite honestly, how do they justify the dickishness and the danger for a pile of useless crap?  Do they paint themselves as some sort of dramatized villains?  Or good guys that have fallen on hard times?  Or are they sort of like me and don't really "feel" anything at all about it.  That would make sense.  I could see that.  And that was weird to think about, in the same way it's weird to see two identical twins, one of them fat and rundown and the other one smoking hot.

95 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I would guess they delude themselves about how their victims actually have it coming to them, somehow.

      E.g. you have too much money and ought to share. Or you were given all sorts of advantages in life, and they weren't, so they are put in the unfortunate situations of having to remedy things by stealing from you.

      When people do bad things to other people, they almost always distort reality to convince themselves that the other person had it coming. Because most people can't see themselves selfish dicks without feeling uncomfortable.

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    2. Very true!

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    3. I have rich client who think I have all sorts of money I can afford to be ripped off by her. Sometimes I give my associates my number as if I'm a new contact for her. I don't know why I like to have fun with people like that. I might give her the runaround again. She is delusional. Is it wrong to do that? Cuz I don't think so. Why can't I get my entertainment?

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    4. Actually no I might not. I think it would be fun and I have done it before. I'm just not having interest anymore.

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    5. It isn't wrong. It is waste of time. Why do you entertained by it?

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    6. I d k. Idk. It's only strangers and maybe once. They don't notice. I'm going to better myself instead.

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  2. Oh well, they were probably desperate junkies out for a fix. Doesn't matter what they get, even if you can only get a few dollars for it, it still brings you closer to a high. Desperate times and all that.
    Had quite a few as patients. One of them was surprised whilst committing a robbery. Obviously he didn't know the homeowner was an amateur Muay Thai fighter, but got six kinds of crap beaten out of himself nonetheless. We're talking broken arm, 4 ribs (one of which collapsed a lung), eye orbit... He looked downright funny to me lying there begging for more painkillers. Kept saying it was not his fault, it's the government's for not providing more benefits for those that truly need it, like himself. Stupid bastard couldn't be more sorry for himself if he tried.
    They all have sob stories, one more pathetic than the last, and bitch to me how they can't even get enough money to buy clothes for their kids. It annoys the hell out of me that they can afford to buy themselves 2 packets of cigarettes, a bottle of alcohol and other assorted goodies daily. Fucking junkies. I get so tired of putting on the nice, understanding girl act around these morons when all I want to do is put them out of their misery.
    Shame about the ipod, ME, hope the cops were at least cute.

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    Replies
    1. I don't think junkies are in misery.

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    2. Yeah, all cops should be cute.

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    3. Anon 4:19, don't be so naive. When they first start using, they will have experienced amazing highs. Depends upon what you take it can be absolutely orgasmic. I've seen a guy enjoying himself so much, he was actually beating his head against the wall. Bleeding from it too.
      Usually people start using regularly in an attempt to dull some serious pain and suffering in their lives.
      After a while, though, as the tolerance kicks in, they don't get really high anymore. They just need more and more to feel remotely normal, to just get through the day. They have to steal, cheat, sell themselves etc.. just to get through the day. If you don't call THAT living in misery....

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    4. That sounds miserable. I understand it. I think what I meant was that in the moment of the stealing they are not in pain. Arent' they driven in that moment, not focusing on the misery?

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    5. totally agree with you green eyes! it's really hard to have compassion for people who keep finding themselves in the same pathetic predicament. i live in a "not so great" neighborhood and i used to be much more compassionate in regards to people on the skids. i have to say that when they break into your house, or mug you, or shoot guns off in the middle of the night, and hang out on the corners being fuck heads, that compassion really starts to dissipate. especially when you have a family member that keeps finding himself in prison. some people NEVER learn! ugh...maybe that's why i like animals more than people! go figure!

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  3. http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

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    Replies
    1. INTP, jackoff

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    2. It doesn't go with what I thought I was. I think I was groomed to be different then thought I was supposed to fit into something e1se.

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    3. Great minds think a like, or so thay say.

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    4. TCO, I thought once you said you are very introverted ? This is interesting, so you are more extroverted or introverted ?

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    5. socio's / psychopaths.. which ever label you want to apply, are usually extroverted. he society they live in usually makes them more introverted. Correct me if I am wrong. I believe I read that in one of Hare's books.

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    6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    7. Tests suck, they can only show how you think you act, because It's hard to be accurate while picking an answer. Also they are pointless, because this knowledge gives you nothing.

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    8. I think it's interesting that they ask if you're having trouble answering, they say think back to when you were a child for the most accurate answer.

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    9. ENTP, acording to childhood :)

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  4. Fascinating how you think, ME. That reminded me of something that happened in college. I was up at 1:30 at night.The rest of the dorm was asleep. I had just gone to the bathroom down the hall.I came back and locked my door. There was no phone in my room. I heard someone go down the hall and try each person's door. What would have happened if he came upon me five minutes before I got into my room?

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    Replies
    1. I would have liked to invite them in for tea. I'd have enjoyed sitting down for a cup of cocoa and played the old ladies in an old movie to entertain myself. Of course I woudn't do it. But I think it would be fun.

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    2. Hello Monica. How are you?

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    3. Hi I am doing well. You?

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    4. Ok. Melancholy some days and feeling confused other days, then feeling annoyed other days. I am going to stop being here soon.

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    5. 418

      Arsenic and Old Lace!

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  5. Please forgive us for taking your iPod, sir.

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  6. firstly, I react the same way with police.,..no matter the circumstance, I'm friendly...afterwards thinking....no, that wasn't the right "emotion" hmm oh well...they put everything down to nerves or drugs don't they? so moving on...

    Scaredy cats? you really yelled...scaredy cats?

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    Replies
    1. oh yeah, been robbed to....inconvenience if anything!

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    2. APS do you feel fragmented?

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    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    4. the filth lol

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  7. It's a nice story, I should get one of theese waterproof ipods. What a pity, that there was no accurate adress on the card, it would be fun to go and see who wrote it.

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    Replies
    1. I want to get one too and float in the water for calming. I want to do that with another person. I just want to float one day in an empty pool.

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    2. You are very boring person. Please go away. You annoy everyone, and your melancholy moods are sickening. Asking for sympathy here. Pathetic, masochistic, needy. You make everyone go away or want to torture you. Just stop.

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  8. That sucks M.E. You sound violated. Hard to know what they are thinking. In my experience thieves aren't all that bright. People make decisions that stick with them. These guys have no doubt been doing this since their early teens and have created a situation they can't change without uncomfortable effects. These people are victims of their own stupidity. Unfortunately, you crossed paths. I guess my point is that why would you bother defining yourself as "good" or "bad" if there's nothing you can do to stop your negative behaviors?
    *And I should include that the powerlessness I'm implying is coming from their assumed perspective- not mine.

    Personally, I like to calculate and compare and I would not be able accept powerlessness for a risk that high.

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    Replies
    1. are you intp or entp?

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    2. I have been meaning to take the Myers-Briggs test. I don't know..

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    3. To quell both our interests: INTJ.

      There ya go.

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    4. I'm both. And I think that these tests don't really prove much of anything. The mood depends greatly on the outcome while taking it, and how hard or how little someone thinks of the specific scenarios. Lots of folk think too hard for something so simple and make the meaning completely different from it's original context. Besides, this mess was meant for employers to get a general idea of how a new comer might think.

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    5. Agreed. These tests are not concrete fact. And its limited.

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  9. Dr Franklin Fomentile PhdMay 4, 2012 at 6:40 AM

    I am sorry you went through that, ME. What I try to remind myself when I am violated is that people will reap what they sow.

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    Replies
    1. Does that actually make anyone really feel better? To just blindly assume that "karma" will take action the way the person "violated" should have? Seems incredibly lazy.

      And even if the person violated can't get that revenge, can't you just take it for what it was, an unfortunate event, and move on? Condemning instead of taking action seems so pointless. You either care enough to get medieval, or you shrug it off because there's nothing you can do. Besides, who's to say the perpetrators who committed whatever "vile" act they committed even care about their actions or future. What if they did it for the fuck of it and really have nothing to lose. Can't reap what you sow if you don't care about the consequences.

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    2. You are a fucking genius.

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    3. I guess if you have a personality disorder and you're stuck in your ways this is difficult, as you're compulsions take precedence. I need to be vigilant because I'm self interested. I go overboard to fight this on a daily basis because if I don't keep myself in check I may lose allies. I sow what I reap.

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  10. Theme song for Dr. Frank:


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kscc2IcsDSU&feature=related

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    Replies
    1. I did not know this!

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kscc2IcsDSU&feature=related

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  11. Dr Franklin Fomentile PhDMay 4, 2012 at 7:00 AM

    Thank you Anon! I feel like a part of SW with my own song.

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  12. CEO SociopathworldMay 4, 2012 at 7:08 AM

    Frank, you know you're welcome here anytime.

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    Replies
    1. Dr Franklin FomentileMay 4, 2012 at 11:16 AM

      Thank you CEO. I got welcomed from the man on the top. Want to play some golf?

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    2. CEO SociopathworldMay 5, 2012 at 1:39 AM

      Man on the top, Frank? 6:54, Themes' asst? Or d'ya mean Medusa?

      Golf? Love to to !

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    3. Dr Franklin F Fomentile PhDMay 5, 2012 at 5:51 PM

      What is your handicap, CEO? Wheelchair or just a cane?

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    4. CEO SociopathworldMay 5, 2012 at 6:35 PM

      Was gonna ask you the same F.F. , the very same haha. Didn't want to go too far with the jokes tho, you being seriously handicapped. I stopped myself ...impulse control and all...

      But now that we're on the subject of handicapped, I think it's only right I tell you ...I have a mission, Frank. It's an important one.

      Listen, I don't even play golf, Frank. The missus won't let me. What do you say we go down to Turks and Caicos for some r and r ? i have a beautiful timeshare with ...amenities.

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  13. This is really cool haha. It shows you are a person ME, haha. It's so fucking cute. You are clearly a bit annoyed and that is so fucking sweet haha! You're like: "What the hell were those guys thinking? I don't get it!", like they broke into your place not to get some cash, but to take all of your useful stuff and really frustrate and annoy you. This is so fucking funny hahahaha!!

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    Replies
    1. ???

      Sounds to me like ME was more annoyed by the person banging on the front and back door than by the burglars. Also by the police and necessity of talking to neighbors. It doesn't seem like the actual burglary meant much to ME at all.

      I'd have been, resigned. Maybe sad at the loss of memories attached to certain things, but there's not a lot of mine you could steal and get me too worried about.

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    2. haven take care of yourself. i am your biggest fan and want you to stay good.
      from frankfurt

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  14. The most important part of the story was left out.

    What music was on the i-Pod ??

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    Replies
    1. LOTS of Paul Young.

      Clearly- this is its own punishment. ;)

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    2. Shut the fuck up Gray or I'll tear your playhouse down! Got it ?

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    3. I will be like Abigail and correct your spelling. It is Grey.

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    4. And how were you expecting on doing that? This is a blog dumb shit.

      Grow up.

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    5. Grey, "Tear your playhouse down" is a Paul Young song lol

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    6. lol Grey, Tear your playhouse down, is a Paul Young song.

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    7. I was wondering why that threat was so lame!

      Clearly- I am not a Paul Young fan.
      Apologies.

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    8. psychopath made a funny lmao

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    9. This is actually quite funny. :D

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    10. Grey, were you ashamed of this mistke?

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    11. Amused, not genuinely ashamed. Also being polite & clarifying.

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  15. Sorry M.E. but anyone that steals your stuff is a fucking asshole...conscience or not!

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  16. Oohhh... I like this post. Makes M.E seem so... human! :D

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  17. Wow, you guys ain't too bright eh? As if your sympathy is anything but a worthless intrigue to me and possibly a light hearted laugh. If I remember correctly ME has mentioned previous involvement in shoplifting. A totally different crime I'll admit, but still stealing nonetheless. Some of these blogs are outright weird, makes me think their is an odd ulterior motive (there must be one, but how odd is it?) Does ME really think like this? Seems a bit dumb. Do they really think they offended the burglars with their vituperation? Do they honestly think they are doing it because they think they are "dramatize villains?" Do they really not understand that burglars just want free shit to sell and aren't taking into consideration the inconvenience they are causing to their victims? As if they are merely taking shit to piss the person off. Also, during situations such as burglary one may experience anxiety and not be thinking properly, they aren't thinking "how much is this worth?" so much as "its electronic, grab it, just grab anything that might be worth something" or maybe its just impulsiveness. Do you really think like this ME or are you just trying to make neurotypicals think you are like them? Also I would like to request a post about the past enterprise of shoplifting that ME was involved in.

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  18. So. I just had a very interesting discussion with a friend (I also had half a bottle of wine, but that only a tiny bit relevant :D). Long story short: his argument was that "If you think everything is 'grey' because absolute 'white' and absolute 'black' don't exist, you're just thinking in black and white terms yourself."

    Paradoxical as this may seem, I can't help but feel he has a point. Opinions?

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    Replies
    1. all of reality is a map in your mind, and each point on the map a concept. every physical act demands a manipulation of these concepts to make a memory of it and make it "real". the only difference between what you imagined and what you experienced is belief. therefore absolute black and white exist if you believe. now i believe i will go have an absolute beer. :)

      if absolute black and white don't exist, aren't you technically thinking in shades of grey?

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  19. I must be getting old or something. I don't have the heart to destroy the truly vulnerable. Why do empaths underestimate their capacity to be manipulated?

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    Replies
    1. They are less manipulative and share the projection of narcissists, assuming others are like them (that others are not out to manipulate them because they are not out to manipulate others themselves.) Also they are arrogant and think they are too good to be manipulated.

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    2. "...think they are too good to be manipulated."
      That is a part of arrogance, therefore it is implied so there is no sense in mentioning it. That is also such a specific view of yours and it's actually quite wrong... as well as the point that they have narcissistic qualities (implied ONLY-) in the sense that they assume others are like them etc. The two sub-points you mentioned are too specific yet broad in their own way so that you are being arrogant, yourself. Cut to the context yes, but don't warp the reasons behind empaths underestimating their capacity to be manipulated. Narrow mindedness is insulting.

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    3. Pseudointellectual diatribe. Specific yet broad implies an exaggerated sense of self? Adjective application and expatiation is tautological? Arrogance can result in many things, one being that a person thinks they are too good to be manipulated, it is not overly redundant and senseless to mention the result of their arrogance, a bit unnecessary? Maybe, but its not like I repeated the same thing I simply expanded on an adjective, your cherry picking because you took it personal. Most people who study psychopathology come to the understanding that the average person does not think like a psychopath, and therefore have a hard time grasping that there exists a type of person with such a radically different world view/experience. They don't expect the manipulative person because they do not consider themselves manipulative and consider most people to be similar to them. Also, empaths do have narcissistic qualities (or pretend to), narcissism is rampant and advertised everywhere as the way to be if you want to succeed, so lots of non-narcissists mimic these traits. Is narrow mindedness insulting, or is it the emotionally repressed truth that one is not yet ready to deal with?

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    4. "Pseudo intellectual diatribe." You just did what you accused me of doing. Nice job. Also, to make something less invalid, have good grammar at least.

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  20. How are you tonight, Medusa?

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  21. When I was fifteen I walked into our garage to find someone rummaging through our shit. My father had repeatedly told me that if that ever happened, I should grab the nearest blunt item, smash the intruder in the back of the head, put a knife in his hand and call the police. Unfortunately, the closest item at hand was an axe. So I grabbed it (I intended on using the blunt edge of the axe head), sneaked up on the intruder, raised it... and then he turned around. It was out landlord. I still have no idea what he was doing in here - the fact that he was there was illegal, of course - but I don't think he realized how close he came to having an axe put in the back of his head.

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  22. sorry about your ipod ME. i recommend getting a security alarm.

    why don't you post a pic of your smoking hot self? our admiration will make you feel better. :)

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  23. I've met only one other person, besides me, that has thought this... It was very refreshing to see: "I'm so much more interested in the stories we tell ourselves rather than our actual behavior." ...No one I talk to at this point actually seems to recognize that it even exists… I, contrary to my actions that would seem to clearly disprove the statement I am about to make, never really COULD lie to myself. When I did, I would know, emotionally, that I was). Well, at least in the past 5 years or so. I would “bury” things I *intellectually knew* as well as the subtle red flags from a series of remembered events. (i.e. Lets say that before you move out to a college campus your mom says you need to do more around the house so you get a concept of how everything will be on you when you are on your own… The next few days the dishes build up on the counter and in the dishwasher to a disgusting level. Two possibilities I'll mention: She was she busy or is she being a bitch trying to prove some point through her passive aggressive bull shit. …UNLESS there are 10+ other occurrences along the same line happening, it’s more possible that she didn’t have time and it was a coincidence, BUT it is counted as a possible red flag) Anyways, as I gave an example to, there were “red flags” which built up and evidence which rose up (so there were things I *knew very well) and because the GAIN/"comfort" outweighed what would be lost had I dropped the person "gas lighting" me for years... I merely lied to him saying I believed everything and had to make myself believe it *enough to be convincing to keep what I, haha, wanted…….. until a point hit that I was quite literally vengeful. I look back and find it interesting because, I to, am "so much more interested in the stories we tell ourselves rather than our actual behavior."
    Anyways. The people that were taking time to steal things of little value likely don't have enough intellectually to them for you to find their "justification." I say this because the danger QUICKLY outweighs the gain, obviously.
    One petty example is if they were "smart" they would have spent time "selling" crap door to door to see what you had.... They would have seen you had nothing of value out and would have used logic to rob some other place rather one with ...what you had.

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  24. You were lucky they didn't attack you upon walking in on them. Stealing your hard drive and your phone charger, denotes they were pretty desperate and rather stupid, no point in debating their reasons for taking this or that. Smart criminals don't bother breaking into random apartments.

    Funny thing, you live in a bad neighborhood, for some odd reason I've always pictured you pretty well off.

    ReplyDelete

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