I'm obsessed with it. I have poor impulse control and no moral compass. After I got sick of making crap decisions and dealing with the fallout, I started making decision-making a personal religion.I have talked before about how economic efficiency is a serviceable prosthetic moral compass. I have also suggested that sociopaths study aspects of decision-making, particularly game theory, to learn how to better harness their sociopathic skills for their benefit.
Of course, decision-making is only as good as the information on which it is based. Luckily sociopaths can display amazing amounts of insight into how the world works.Llike the color blindness of many predators, our inability to see the distractions of the full emotional spectrum and subtleties of social norms can actually improve our ability to stalk our prey at night, or flaws or patterns in the social construct. I have such an uncannily accurate ability to gauge probabilities, to discover patterns in everything (including human behavior), that I sometimes appear psychic. I empathize with people like Cassandra, actually, because although my predictions are frequently accurate, I mostly end up keeping them to myself -- No one even wants to believe them. Sigh.
i have such an uncannily accurate ability to gauge probabilities, to discover patterns in everything (including human behavior), that i sometimes appear psychic
ReplyDeleteI thought you hated narcissists? On one hand you admit to making bad decisions and on the other you have superhuman perceptive abilities. If decision making is only as good as the information which it is based aka. perception, what explains your bad decision making if you being a sociopath paints everything in such a clear light? I would say your view is more skewed then the normals around you. As you said to Thunderball, the symptoms of your illness are fucking with the way you view yourself and the world around you. Just like stupid people think they are smarter then everyone around them, you think you are more perceptive because you are more stunted.
My own series of “bad” decisions began when I started seeing my personality differences as flaws that needed to be corrected, if only I could find the right religion/philosophy/marriage partner/career and so on. So I kept jumping into and out of groups and relationships with this bit of maladaptive programming running in the background. Needless to say, I failed to become something I wasn’t. Clarity resurfaced when I stopped trying to see the world and other people thru the normiopath’s eyes and started using my own instead. And with clarity comes improved (defined in this instance as more adaptive) decision making.
ReplyDeleteClarity resurfaced when I stopped trying to see the world and other people thru the normiopath’s
ReplyDeleteYou guys talk about clarity but never about the improvement it supposedly brings. Did your quality of life improve? You said to Thunderball that you were bored. That doesn't sound like you are satisfied. Boredom is a result of depression.
You guys talk about clarity but never about the improvement it supposedly brings. Did your quality of life improve? You said to Thunderball that you were bored. That doesn't sound like you are satisfied. Boredom is a result of depression.
ReplyDeleteGood question. Actually I’m working on stabilizing that clarity now. I’ve been chasing my own tail for so long that stopping hasn’t been easy. It’s become an unfortunate habit. I’m still in the process of ‘deprogramming’ myself as it were. The periods of clarity are lasting longer as a result of said process.
In the meantime, a confused, ‘dog chasing its own tail mindset’ created the life I’m living now. I am indeed bored with it, yet I haven’t quite settled on how I want to leave it behind. But one major improvement is that the options I might have considered once upon a time are no longer on the table because I now see them to be the dead ends that they are. That’s one of the improvements I’ve experienced from the increase in clarity. And depression… well I’ve done suicidal ideation and despair and that’s no longer an issue. I frequented despair for years as a matter of fact, until I stopped. That was my first successful effort at ‘deprogramming’ myself. It was hard as hell, doing it without the benefit of medication, therapy or any other kind of external support, but I did it. I’m equally confident that I’ll successfully ‘deprogram’ this other gunk as well.
And I don’t know that I’d equate boredom with depression. I don’t think boredom is a result of depression, at least not in all cases.
I’ve done suicidal ideation and despair
ReplyDeleteWhat stopped you? Did you feel anxiety associated with your depression? Do you get anxiety over things like going to the dentist or surgery? It is good you are pushing through fixing the things you consider effecting the quality of your life. Sorry for asking these questions. You seem to give more honest answers then everyone here. Do you really consider yourself to have sociopath traits? I know sociopaths do have a decent rate of suicide, but the juxtaposition that of sociopaths ME gives and the medical community gives is hard to wrap my head around.
What stopped you?
ReplyDeleteI did.
Did you feel anxiety associated with your depression?
A couple of years ago the depression got so bad that suicide became a serious option. And by serious I mean I bought a gun and bullets. I knew I had to stop the thoughts which lead to the feelings. I went to war with myself, so to speak, until the those thoughts stopped being associated with depressive emotions. And it worked. I haven’t felt that way in over 2 ½ years.
Do you get anxiety over things like going to the dentist or surgery? =
No. I have commented before here that I had a phobia of dogs that I picked up as a child. That stayed with me until I became an adult. I stopped it pretty much the same I stopped the depression. I have noticed that frustration and rage are far easier for me to feel since I stopped feeling depressed.
Do you really consider yourself to have sociopath traits?
Yes. I’ve been reluctant to actually say I AM A SOCIOPATH. It’s clear to me that I don’t fit the stereotype for one. Two, despite my ‘debate’ with Peter Pan, I understand full well that no label will describe all of an individual’s character traits. Three, as I’ve also mentioned before here, there is no clear and commonly agreed upon definition of what a sociopath is and is not. If you see the defining trait as a lack of guilt the way Robert Saltzman does from www.dr-robert.com, then you’d say that I am a full fledged sociopath. If you see sociopaths as essentially the same as psychopaths and therefore use Robert Hare’s criteria, then you might ‘diagnose’ me a sub-clinical psychopath. If you’re familiar with the dark triad theory, you’d locate me along that spectrum as a Machiavellian. If you think I’m full of shit about this altogether, you’d tell me I was a schizoid. Or, you might just tell me to have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up. Fortunately, my opinion of myself is by far the most important one to me.
I know sociopaths do have a decent rate of suicide...
Hmm. I wasn’t aware of that.
but the juxtaposition that of sociopaths ME gives and the medical community gives is hard to wrap my head around
That's because the medical community, along with the larger community they represent, has a vested interest in seeing people who differ markedly from the norm as pathological, especially sociopaths. And there’s also the fact that they are viewing those they label as sociopaths from the outside while M.E. on the other hand is presenting an inside view. There would necessarily be a big difference between how an outsider views a sociopath verses how a sociopath views him/herself.
Do you feel anxiety over anything anymore? I have read sociopaths can mistake excitement closer to an adrenalin rush as anxiety. Have you ever felt this way?
ReplyDeleteIf you’re familiar with the dark triad theory
I'm not familiar with this. I'll google it, but do you have any links that might be of help?
Sorry for all the questions. This is the last bunch. :)
I think everyone here is confusing the difference between primary and secondary psychopaths. Primary's would more then likely not be here, show no anxiety and no interest in learning about themselves. Everyone who claims to be a sociopath here is more then likely a secondary psychopath. They exhibit the same amount of anxiety or more and have issues with boredom. Secondary sociopaths are more reactive, thus explaining the impulsivity or bad decisions ME is describing in his blog post. They are just a likely to be thrill seeking but their lifestyles lead to depression and suicide.
ReplyDeletePrimary psychopaths are biological. They are the ones with no inhibitive nature. They will steal from those close to them and take what they want no matter the consequence. They completely lack introspective capability and are more likely to land in prison.
Secondary psychopaths are a mix of environment and genetic factors. They will consider the consequences in situations where they can take pause. If they are confronted with a situation that causes frustration or anxiety they are more reactive and will interestingly enough react more violently. Where as a primary will react much as if he had time to mull over the situation, with cold calculation and only self interest in mind. Secondary's are more likely to bring everyone down with them if presented with a situation with no options.
I hope this clears up your questions anonymous. Feel free to add or disagree Daniel. I always find you enlightening.
This book explained it pretty well for me. I've linked directly to the page that describes it all. I feel lots of anxiety over thing from dating to the dentist.
ReplyDeleteHandbook of Psychopathy By Christopher J. Patrick
I said, "They exhibit the same amount of anxiety or more and have issues with boredom." I need to correct this. I meant to say, secondary psychopaths show as much or more anxiety as normal people. They may even show hyper anxiety. Something thunder seems to show through his writing.
ReplyDeleteSomething thunder seems to show through his writing.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say I have hyper anxiety. I do feel anxiety, but can calm myself pretty easily. That was one of the main reasons I wasn't sure if I was a sociopath. I don't feel any anxiety when I'm in a bad situation, just before. The anticipation is the worst, after, not so bad. How the fuck do I show it in my writing, by the way?
Do you feel anxiety over anything anymore?
ReplyDeleteWell no, actually I don’t experience much anxiety in my day to day life, if by anxiety you mean experiencing a sense of general unease, worry and/or nervousness without an identifiable cause. If by anxiety you mean do I ever feel anything at all approximating fear than yes. I am easily startled for instance and heights make me dizzy and I get nervous before singing in front of an audience. Those feelings are never overwhelming and they’re pretty easy to turn down. But I think that’s probably true for most people or else nothing would ever get done.
Do you suffer with anxiety?
I have read sociopaths can mistake excitement closer to an adrenalin rush as anxiety. Have you ever felt this way?
I can kinda see this. Sometimes fear and anger and excitement feel the same to me physically. I don't know what, if anything, that might mean though.
I'm not familiar with this. I'll google it, but do you have any links that might be of help?
Try this one: http://www.psych.ubc.ca/~dellab/RESEARCH/DarkTriad/
index.html
Sorry for all the questions. This is the last bunch. :)
If you apologize one more time I’m going to track you down, cut you into pieces and have your heart for dinner with a nice red wine.
KIDDING! Seriously, no apologies necessary.
To anonymous at 3.39:
ReplyDeleteI don't think many of us knew about this, but certainly the fact that the word "sociopath" is used at least makes it clear we are talking about something different from criminal psychopaths. Although it's not completely acknowledged, "sociopath" is usualy a milder term than "psychopath", which one could guess that is used to describe secondary psychopaths.
"I wouldn't say I have hyper anxiety. I do feel anxiety, but can calm myself pretty easily..."
ReplyDeleteYou say a sentence about thunder he'll write a paragraph back defending himself. This guy is hilariously fun to play with.
You say a sentence about thunder he'll write a paragraph back defending himself. This guy is hilariously fun to play with.
ReplyDeleteI guess I'm a chatty mother fucker.
hi not sure why my post from earlier vanished. I was asking whether a sociopath believes the crap they dish a victim during the devalue and discard phase or whether they're consciously aware it's crap as they dish it.
ReplyDeleteAlso what is gained by the S from devalue and discard since it ultimately destroys the parasitic connection.
If you delete, please kindly let me know what I've said wrong so I don't waste time posting again :)
Cheers
Dude
Dude, I saw your post under a different thread. Doesn't hurt to have a healthy dose of paranoia on a sociopath site, though, does it.
ReplyDeleteA S believes the crap they feed to others and themselves. They think they are being master manipulators. In reality, short term lies sometimes fit together into something more and sometimes don't. Their great wins are a crap shoot.
ReplyDeleteA S gains nothing from the devalue and discard except for small feeling of power. Like hurting someone is a exclusive ability that should be reveled in.
You have to remember that sociopaths are stopped developing emotions very young. So they have the same emotional maturity a toddler has.
So when my ex calls me "pedo", "adulterer" and "pervert" (all these true of her not me) she genuinely believes it.
ReplyDeleteI think she convinced herself but only because it is so easy for her to do so. She doesn't care about the negative consequences of falsehood because they don't affect her. She benefits so much from falsehood (by playing the victim and distracting observers from her thieving and duplicity), therefore accepts falsehood readily as truth.
In terms of the poor outlook for devalue and discard I see what you mean. The emotional maturity is so limited they cannot look ahead and continue to seek instant power gratification. They cannot see the destructive long run. Like a parasite sucking too greedily and killing the host instead of regulating supply. They don't care because they latch onto the next host as the body slumps to the floor.