Sunday, July 8, 2012

How to read people like a sociopath

A reader writes:
I'm sure you've heard your empath male friends talk about "psycho chicks" or "crazy chicks", and your female friends have probably complained about the opposite.

Do sociopaths have a knack for spotting imbalanced people, and know to avoid them, or if you're so inclined, are they just a fun game to kill time with?

Also, I've heard that sociopathic people are natural-born people readers. If this is true in your case, have you ever thought about writing a book on the subject? "How To Read People Like A Sociopath" would probably be a runaway hit, and if paying the bills is a part of the game.... lol

Thanks,
My response:
Interesting question. I've been giving it some thought. I have been told I am unusually insightful, and I feel like I do have a knack for spotting imbalanced people, but I wonder whether I'm any better at it than any normal person. I may be spotting some imbalanced people that you aren't and vice versa. For example, I have a hard time dealing with homeless people. I always start out treating them like any other person and then I am always sort of surprised when they start yelling obscenities at me or making inappropriate hand gestures. Even though I realize in my mind that homeless frequently = crazy, for some reason every time I see a homeless person, I always treat him like I would anyone else. It's almost as if I don't recognize these people as being in the category "homeless," and consequently a little mentally unbalanced. Instead my brain just thinks "stranger."

But there are a lot of seemingly normal bad guys that I can clearly see are egomaniacs or control freaks or extra-manipulative, or whatever else is their M.O. Sometimes I think it frustrates my friends -- I can be summarily disapproving of their other friends or the people they date. It's like I am a dog that just happens to hate a seemingly innocent guy, always barking and growling when he is around. Even I sometimes don't understand what it is about a person that is triggering my spidey sense, but almost always there is a lack of genuineness about the person -- inconsistencies in a person's actions vs. their alleged motivations.

I'll try to think more about how it is exactly that I spot these people. My first thought is that I am just so used to wearing masks myself that it is easy to see myself in other mask wearers. I wonder if that is a skill that can be taught. But if there is enough money in it, I certainly can try to fake it. 

228 comments:

  1. as a sociopath why would you care what a persons actions vs motivations are? why would it get your spidey sense tingling? that's just your way of saying your moral ire is up. the more i read the more i think thunderball is corrrect in his assumption. another thing that baffles me is for all the "reader" email you respond to you have no interactivity with the people who post in your blog. would a sociopath be more engaging? i honestly don't see your sociopathy coming out in why you write. will you address this? or will you keep on writing your blog enteries like typical scizoid ignores things?

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    1. Personal Evolution is something that happens to everyone- like it or not. Some fight it, some embrace it. The author of this blog seems to be on the express track for evolution. Why would anyone want to be a cliche cartoon character of a diagnosis? I commend the blogger. We are all capable of experiencing the world in a profound way, poetic way, (and I would include even Warhol in my wide definition of profound.) Transcend your genetics, Transcend your damaged past, Transcend the hand life dealt you.

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  2. Anon has a point there?? i've often wondered if the author of the blog ever gets sick and tired of people as annoying as me commenting? I have a "diary blog" so i don't want comments scribbed all over my thoughts..but i don't mind scribbling my innane shit here...besides this blog is way more intellectual than anything i type about..iv probably got 2 readers lmao....it would be so interesting to actually interact with m.e, i like the debates here.

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  3. The people are demanding an explanation M.E. It's all coming down, crumbling around you. Grab your cats and dogs and find the nearest fire exit.

    Really though, you should say something. Anything. I doubt you will, and that's cool. Because it just confirms what I am saying.

    I do sense when people are up to no good. But I am only concerned in relation to how that effects me. As far as my umm... friends go, it's entertaining to see how they will react. Plus if they get in too deep I can always play nice guy and rip their enemy apart.

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  4. ARE YOU PEOPLE A JOKE? HOW WOULD YOU READ PEOPLE? PEOPLE ARE NOT BOOKS. MAYBE YOU SHOULD ALL READ SOME BOOKS INSTEAD OF TRYING TO READ PEOPLE. UNLESS THEY HAVE SOME COOL TATTOOS. BUT EVEN THEN YOU WOULDN'T BE READING THEM FOR VERY LONG BECAUSE HOW MUCH CAN A TATTOO HAVE?

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  5. Here we go another anon poster...there is such thing as "non verbal communication" it doesn't mean its a spot on analysis of a persons inner feelings, but its supposed to have at least some credibility...for example..when people flirt they tend to mirror each others position, when a man finds a woman attractive he will glance at her lips...
    ....go and look up the meaning in more detail...lmao...yet we are the jokes...

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  6. WHAT YOU ARE SAYING IS CRAZY! HOW CAN YOU COMMUNICATE WHEN YOU DON'T OPEN YOUR MOUTH? WHEN MEN LIKE YOU DON'T THEY JUST TELL YOU? MAYBE YOU THINK THEY LIKE YOU BECAUSE THEY ARE LOOKING AT SOME FOOD YOU HAVE STUCK IN YOUR TEETH!

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  7. Ignoring the ironically crazy anonymous above me, I think for a start in your hypothetical book you could put down that blank stares could be characteristic of manipulative people, or maybe those who aren't very good at it. I, myself, am pretty bad at understanding how I'm meant to look when no one's paying attention to me, so I normally just stare into space with my eyes drooping a little. A couple of people have noticed it and thought it was funny, but other than that, no one so far has realised that the face I was making was natural, as opposed to the rest of my faked expressions. I've noticed it in a couple of other people too, normally pretty intelligent narcissists.

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  8. So anyone,
    Say you have been spending time with someone, then suddenly they have your number. Say they out you as being sociopathic and criticize you for it, but still seem to want to be around you. Would they be someone who you would want to avoid? Would you be angry with and/or attempt to punish this person?

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  9. For me, hardcore or born sociopaths are (now) easy. Firstly, they cant keep from staring at the new guy. Then they’re too friendly, too gutsy, too charming. Then I notice their different behaviors between different people, then other inconsistencies – like all their friends treating you much differently from how they do. I’ll get a particular feeling in my gut. Then I do my homework and make my decisions. Helpful hint: always keep some part of you completely objective and coldly rational, like when you’re buying a used car. A hardcore sociopath is the car that’s been totaled, but fitted with a shiny new body.

    Past the initial charm, narcissists should be obvious.

    For me, the schizoid-machiavelli are the toughest. The two I had most trouble with had the following in common: 1. They were relatively, physically harmless. 2. They came across as emotionally flat. 3. They were much better than hardcores at controlling their mouths, with the exception of #4. (Hardcore sociopaths talk too much, not caring about revealing discrepancies.) 4. Once I got to ‘know’ them, their humor was cynical and mean. They didn’t seem to like anybody (except for me of course). 5. Their opinions about people solidified rock hard and quickly, and were based entirely on usefulness. They seemed ignorant of the facts that people do learn, they do change, they usually don’t mind being controlled but only in ways acceptable to them, most people will negotiate and take a graceful exit, and a few will come after you with a vengeance if they feel they have no other options.

    Regarding all sociopaths, the best thing you can do is to listen. Pay attention to what others have to say about the sociopath in question and how they say it. For example, an ex-boyfriend who displays a look of genuine horror when they find out you’re tied in with her, should carry much more weight than shit slung from a gaggle of gossip queens, (unless you find the true source of said shit from gossip queens gaggle).

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  11. Hey Nimbus, I find your ‘schizoid-Machiavelli’ concept intriguing. Did you coin the term or did it originate somewhere else?

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  12. A lot of acknowledged, obvious assholes are some of the most predictable, even honest, people out there.

    If a lot of people say: "That guy's an asshole!", the first thing I always do is get to know that guy and the people telling me that stuff. Is he arrogant? Is he oily-slimy? Is he a people skills retarded geek who has trouble fitting in? Is he being smeared via useful tools by some unseen rival? Everybody defines “asshole” differently, as well tagging just who is their “asshole”. How they do it yields clues.

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  13. Hey Nimbus, I find your ‘schizoid-Machiavelli’ concept intriguing. Did you coin the term or did it originate somewhere else?

    At the last place we talked. It's not a hybrid term but a continuum.

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  14. What does the continuum measure, what you perceive as degrees of sociopathology?

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  15. Still working on it. With today’s “experts”, both are disorders, places where behavior becomes counterproductive. But in what context? Sometimes you have to be a machiavellian to survive. And there are some people out there who find being around (what is relative to them) small-talk small-minded loud-mouthed corrupt brainwashed idiots, exhausting and exasperating, especially when they’re outnumbered by them 10 to 1. I think most things are only disorders when they're addictions, or out of ones control.

    I guess I’ll use the wikipedia definition of schizoid, and its definition of machiavellian as it relates to the “dark triad” (the three types of sociopathy).

    So far:

    A machiavellian is a psychopath but with normal levels of ‘harm avoidance’ anxiety.

    A machiavellian is also a schizoid but with ‘Factor X’ (knowledge and experience?, much less conscientiousness, persistence or goal directedness?, an acquired taste for power and control?, not gonna take it anymore from these idiots?)

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  16. ah, i didn't mean to neglect anyone or hurt feelings. i just figured if you wanted to ask me personally a question, you could email me. if you wanted to posit a question to the world, you could write it in a comment. who wants a creepster like me lurking around the comments anyway? plus i don't want to dampen the free flow of ideas by always throwing in my two cents on every issue. if i started doing that, nobody else would ever answer any questions and your answers are always interesting, even if i do sometimes disagree. but i enjoy reading the comments. i get them sent to my smart phone, so i usually read in real time. (poor LOOD.)

    feel free to email me, but stop trying to ambush me by pressuring me into commenting on my own posts.

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  17. m.e. said..."feel free to email me, but stop trying to ambush me by pressuring me into commenting on my own posts."

    Hehe, caught me.

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  18. Nimbus, I read about the “dark triad” a little while ago, but thanks to your comments I thought I’d refresh my memory by a bit of research on it again. It’s interesting and instructive. It could explain, for instance, the differences in understanding how sociopathology makes itself known. There seems to be some small but important differences between sociopathic behavior/thinking, at least as several commenter’s here understand it, and Machiavellian behavior/thinking. It could be that the Machiavellian is a subset or a variation of the larger sociopathic group. Of course, I’m merely speculating.

    With regard to the usefulness of Machiavellian behavior in a variety of environments within modern society, I don’t need to speculate. I know it’s useful. And of course the “experts” declare this type of thinking a disorder. What other choice do they have if they are to continue believing the lies they tell themselves about a whole host of things?

    Thanks Nimbus. I’m going to do some further reading on this, but I think you may have cleared up some confusion around here.

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  19. Daniel said..
    "i think you may have cleared up some confusion around here"...

    well not entirely...typical of me really, because im still confused..lol...maybe i should read up on what everyone is talking about in regards to machiavellian behaviour? Then again i probably won't because i can't be bothered...im just the nutty bipolar one :)

    Heres a qusetion for M.E...if he/she wants to answer it or not?...which posters on here do you think are actually..pycho/sociopaths in your opinion?? Id be interested to know your opinion.

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  21. Ego is a good clue, most socio's or related disorders are pretty pathetic, while at the same time holding a high opinion of themselves. The simplest way to discover them is to become more involved in their lives and then notice the discrepancies. The successful businessman who lives in a trailer, The dot.com millionaire who cuts hair for a living. They usually don't have any close attachments, and are distant from their family, no one notices or cares if they disappear.

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  22. I love the irony of the detractors of various mental disorders exhibiting those characteristics themselves. They remind me of Roy Cohn going after gays or any number of hypocrites throughout history.

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  23. Sometimes the moral righteousness of the sick is a little wearing, "I'm ill, so bear no responsibility for my actions."
    Yet you understand enough to make that plea.
    If I were more like you I'd hunt you down, I'm not so I just despise you.
    I take comfort in the fact you'll never amount to anything.

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  24. Anon at 9:13 AM,

    That's a hard core sociopath, or a psychopath – they don’t have enough anxiety to keep behaviors in check. Narcissists and machiavellians can and often do have abilities beyond bullshitting. But narcissists think too highly of what abilities they do have, and despise those getting more attention than them. Machiavellians have a large range, from corporate players like Bill Gates, to the little weasel who’d screwed me over after I’d trusted and helped him. Then there are people who understand that many humans have no insight – those types think they’re wonderful, compassionate, loving, giving people but actually have many difficult or even despicable qualities which they’ll never acknowledge. Machiavellianism may be the only way to deal with these types.

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  25. Moral righteousness? Umm, I've never made the claim of being moral or righteous. Plus everyone bears responsibility for there actions. More then likely I am a sociopath, I make not apologies or claims of not being responsible for my actions. Amounting to something is a personal perspective and definition. I'm sure your words would cut deep if you weren't up trying to cut people down from so high up.

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  26. Ascribing mental illness to people who are envied or just take advantage is a fairly common deceit.

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  28. Thunderball, I see you make no pretensions of literacy either. Achievement is generally defined by peer group, not personal estimation, and why wouldn't I try and puncture the self inflated ego's that wander around this site?

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  29. "Ascribing mental illness to people who are envied or just take advantage is a fairly common deceit."

    Really? Or are you just saying this because of being called a psycho every time you attack someone? Excuse me, but I just fail to see why your ire would be up. Do you attack because of short comings you see reflect or because of a bad experience. Motives are as important as the actions themselves, maybe more. Since I don't know your motives and since you are so aggressive I can only assume the worst.

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  30. "Achievement is generally defined by peer group, not personal estimation"

    I guess that would be true if you judge yourself based off what your peers think, simplesimon.

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  31. "Blah blah blah."

    Sorr Peter. You are right. Blah blah blah.

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  32. As far as I am aware, no one has attacked me, my post was comment, not criticism, unless you feel it fits.

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  33. "Thunderball, I see you make no pretensions of literacy either."

    I mostly make typing errors.. forget to put a "ing" at the end of "ending" or stupid shit like that. Typing too fast. Not proofreading. I can express myself well because I enjoy reading. Thats it.... sorry I made you feel bad about your lack of verbosity.

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  34. "As far as I am aware, no one has attacked me, my post was comment, not criticism, unless you feel it fits."

    Misunderstanding I guess.

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  35. Sorry I see what you were writing. I'm on a break at work... reading too fast, not paying attention. Being too quick to respond back with vitriol.

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  36. I was referring more to your grammar, though your spelling and general cohesion aren't great.

    Peer judged achievement is more about what people think of you, not what you think of yourself, though I understand that is meaningless to you.

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  38. I agree with you on cohesion it's something I have to work on. Mind you I'm in a technical field so I'm used to just putting down short jots of thoughts to make things simple and fast for troubleshooting. Spelling... uhh, well I guess firefox spell check isn't working then... Unless you are just being over critical. Any non anonymous members like to weigh in on my writing? I can't decide if I should write like I'm in english 12 or if anonymous is being too critical.

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  40. Tinkerbelle said, “im still confused…”

    Read what Nimbus said at 10:06. That sounds like a very “nutshellish” version of the differences between sociopaths of the “regular” type and sociopaths of the Machiavellian type. I think people get confused because they read about the “regular” type in a lot of the literature out there or had the “pleasure” of having dealings with them personally and then go on to believe that the regular type is THE ONLY type there is. The Machiavellian type is a lot less known (as in I couldn’t find as much literature/research on the net as I could for the regular type), although portrayed much more often in films, TV and novels.

    “ im just the nutty bipolar one :)”

    Just?! I beg to differ. You appear to have a lot of hilarity and sagacity to go along with the nutty!

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  41. Peer review is a standard in most disciplines, academic, professional, even bureaucratic, if you choose losers as your peers, then expect them to make faulty decisions.

    Classes of people above and below you? Is this some sort of Marxist doggerel?

    English is a bastardized language, even firefox tends to spell things in an American accent, it's quite possible I'm criticizing you for correct spelling, see above for "z" in critic.

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  42. "Anonymous is being overly critical."

    Yea, totally. I see where I used "there" when I should have used "their." It's funny how no matter what forum or blog you are on someone always has to play grammar and spelling nazi to try and undermine you.

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  43. Thunderball asked, “Any non anonymous members like to weigh in on my writing?”

    Eh, you’re writing is just fine. I tried that misspelling tactic once here just for shits and giggles myself. It was cheap and diversionary, but who cares?

    You’re good.

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  44. don't take crap, TB. particularly not from someone who uses an apostrophe before a plural "s": "why wouldn't I try and puncture the self inflated ego's that wander around this site?"

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  45. "Peer review is a standard in most disciplines, academic, professional, even bureaucratic, if you choose losers as your peers, then expect them to make faulty decisions."

    That type of peer review has nothing to do how you feel your life personally is going. What you are talking about is how people function in a standardized environment and what you peers think in direct relation to how you perform against that standardization. For example you could be a garbage man making $25-30 an hour, but for some housewife who makes nothing she could look down on you because her husband works in an office for the same amount. You might like driving and find the work enjoyable. For her though you are a looser for picking up her waste. It's all perspective.

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  47. If you can't spell or construct sentences, in your primary language, then why would anyone listen to your thoughts?

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  48. "If you can't spell or construct sentences, in your primary language, then why would anyone listen to your thoughts?"

    God, another troll or the same one. Either way, never mind.

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  51. You all seem to miss the point of peer review, it is an objective assessment of achievement, ideally anyway, though politics frequently interfere. This is why there are jury's it's the fairest way humanity has discovered to ascertain truth, it's not perfect, but it does generally work. The comments about subjective/objective evaluation are just that, and saying a system which has a proven track record is faulty requires the response,so what do you suggest?

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  52. We've spent thousands of years developing a communication system, just so people like you can say it's not important.

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  53. Dude, fuck off. We are not writing a thesis here, just commenting on a blog.

    And by the way, how can you even compare a jury judging someone based of set laws to personal achievement?

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  54. To anonymous: you're an idiot. And the jury system sucks. And so does the peer review system. It just perpetuates the same errors of groupthink that led titans of industry like the Big 3 automakers straight into the toilet. And what was your point again? That people here have big egos? You're an anal retentive, hypocritical moron with a grossly disproportionately-sized ego. If I see another comment from you, I am going to lose my lunch. Actually, if I see another person on this site respond to your drivel, I'm going to immediately lose all respect for them.

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  55. Peer Pressure Dude said, “You all seem to miss the point of peer review…”

    There’s a difference between the peer review you’re referring to and self estimation, which may be what Thunderball and Peter are referring to. This difference may also be part of what distinguishes sociopaths (and the varieties thereof) and normiopaths. When it comes to how he/she views him/herself, the sociopath probably doesn’t care at all what his “peers” think of him, while the normiopath cares too much.

    Or what anonymous at 11:15 said, 2nd sentence.

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  57. How the hell do you guys get away with this stuff at work? Since 1999, every place I've worked I.T guys or even the boss has had the abiltity to read what computer jockeys are typing.

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  59. What's your plan, nimbus?

    To do this at work.

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  61. Peter said, "I want you in my office in 5 minutes for a formal spanking."

    Ah yes, nothing makes me feel like a man quite like bending over and taking it for my cretinous boss.

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  63. Peter Pan said, “Squeal for me, boy, SQUEAL FOR ME!”

    Damn dude, you really were in the room during my last job performance review! That’s just freakin uncanny!

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  65. I just use my iPhone mostly... but when I'm on break there is a unmonitored wifi connection we can all use.

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  66. I found myself strangely turned on by reading this lmao....Peter spank me 1st!!!! I deserve it im the most annoying by a looooong shot!! See, look!, my grammer and punctuation are apalling....hit me... hit me!!!

    You see this is what keeps me coming back to this blog, i find nothing more sexy in a guy than intelligence and humour, and this is a blog full of intelligent humourous people.

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  68. Peter pan, the boy who never grew up, an unusually appropriate moniker.

    There's a strange difference in manner of execution, thought and wit aren't always parallel.

    Tinkerbelle, you'd have bets on the lions, wouldn't you?

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  70. Peter pan, I'd love to insult you, but i really can't figure out how.

    Your mother smells?

    Bemused and entertained.

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  72. Peer review, Juries, they are both systems in which other people get to look at your decisions, thats all, if you have some wonderful way to look inside someone else's mind, i'm sure every major government on the planet will be interested.
    This little site must bring immense feelings of satisfaction to you, small as you are.

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  73. Peter pan, there are no complimentary analogies for how I think about you.

    As a wounded victim? A desperate soul? Badly damaged goods?

    I pity you.

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  75. Peter pan, I hope you find some reason to live, and a person to love you.

    I can't imagine that reality, but I hope you find it.

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  77. No not really, you play too much.

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  78. Anon..."Tinkerbelle you'd have bet on the lions wouldn't you?"

    whoa!! Slow down people...its pretty obvious im retarded lmao...that comment flew over my head...woooosh!! (then again i bet you knew it would)

    As for you Peter Pan...awww do you want me or something?? I read your blog... ;) i'l have to give you a shout out on mine too...infact i'l type a whole post on you....

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  81. anon is fuckin retarded

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  82. Peter i chuck away or delete everything for some strange reason...lol, its just something i do, i tend not to form attachment to anything material or replacable. I once sold everything i owned so i could buy differnt versions of my stuff...i just woke up one day and thought...yep i want rid of the whole lot. Im seriously, thoroughly potty!! I woke up a few months later and decided i wanted to move apartment so i did...i'v quit jobs on impulse and walked into others the following week. I absolutely exhaust and exasperate myself yet alone anybody else! So my blog will be deleted again so i can start from scratch as soon as the mood strikes me. :)

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  83. I wish I could heal you, you seem intelligent and well educated, and you waste your life.

    You could easily use your imagination in a game company, I'd be prepared to offer you a job myself.

    Instead you poke fun at idiots and crow about your success.

    Is this all you want from life?

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  85. Sometimes just erasing stuff isn't enough, you are the origin.

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  88. lmao anon
    " sometimes erasing stuff isn't enough, you are the origin"

    i know you have a damn good point there...lol..but im just too pretty to commit suicide!

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  89. Really? You have an aim? And you realize you're less than rational?

    There maybe some hope for you.

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  91. I'd love to have some evidence to back that up Tink.

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  93. Can’t all you anon’s just get along?

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  94. whose interested in you? You're amusing but not that funny, and you're a shallow empty clown, my dog displays more emotion than you.

    As to why I'm here, I'd like some insight to the manipulative bitch who dumped me, and I've found it pretty useful.

    Most of the people here are clowns like you, some are seriously scary, and the rest seem to derive some sort of pleasure out of this. Weird fuckups.

    You can say what you want, but at the end of the day, I've got friends, family and a social life, what do you have?

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  96. Really, what do you have? who would notice if you dropped dead tomorrow?

    Think about this, it's not a line or some fantasy, who cares about you?

    I think about my life a lot, I think about the people in it, my family, friends, even my pets.

    You do realize by closing yourself away from people you become less human? You become something we can cheerfully kill?

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  97. Anon i guess reading this blog is to a certain degree fucked up and weird. Thats what i appreciate about it in an even more fucked up way. I have checked out the bipolar forums though..but they just aren't that entertaining to be honest. Its almost like a contrast..without medication bipolar takes you to this deep dark place, everything is so intense, its almost suffocating. Then when all the heaps of different medications kick in, life feels shallow almost like a chore, for me it does anyway. I feel out of touch with emotions so to speak. Its so odd. Whats even worse is that i actually enjoy feeling like im "on hold", im taking a break/escape from myself. My meds ruin my relationships with men because i hardly feel much anymore. Yep im so fucked up. lol :)

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  99. I dumped a manipulative bitch once. She didn't know she was a manipulative bitch, and neither did I, until I started visiting these kind of sites and figured it out. Besides dumping, the only thing that works on manipulative bitches who don't know they're manipulative bitches are sociopathic techniques. Seriously.

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  100. Nimbus you really just made me giggle, four times you used the words manipulative bitch...im guessing there may be still some tension brewing? :( Hey here is a question for any of the guys, what do men want in a woman? Sometimes i think men are just as complicated. Relationships hey lol.

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  101. It's a nice illusion you create for yourself, I do things that matter to people, so I matter.

    If you don't feel that essential human involvement then you aren't a real person.

    There's no course or program that can help you, there's no help or remedy.

    I'm sorry for you, but you are damaged goods, beyond redemption, the bible says it best "Tie a millstone round their necks and cast them in the lake."

    While reading your justifications for your behavior, I can feel sympathy for you, but without confession and attrition you are a soul without redemption.

    There's no way you can "learn" to be a human being, it's something you are, or are not.

    I hope you cause as little harm as you can.

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  104. Can you honestly say you feel sympathy for me? Can you understand my fear and regret?

    I don't think you can, I hope you can feel something other than your own desires, but I'm not banking on it.

    You need to look at yourself and ask if you feel these emotions, if you don't, you need to ask why.

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  105. Do you even understand why someone would ask shit like this?

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  108. lmao "go whack off to Tinks blog"...
    There is nothing written in my blog to sexually arouse a man. Thats like the 2nd time iv seen that now! ha ha.

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  110. Oh jesus!! lmao...you know its so easy for me to type exactly whats in my head on my blog without giving it much thought because for some stupid reason i don't think it gets much attention. Maybe i should stop blogging about my sexual appetite.

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  112. Hey peter come and chat to me on your blog comments, il send you a message :)

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  114. I just went and strangled my ex manipulative bitch. Dead! Are you satisfied? See what you made me do you.

    Do you feel any sympathy for me now? Can you ever feel anything for me or my lifeless ex?

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  115. Its ok Peter, no offence taken :) its like coming up to 4am here in England so i really ought to be going to sleep instead of fucking around on the computer. lmao

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  117. Erm, hi anon...guess you need to find a wheel barrow, big forest and a shovel then? Acid doesn't work that well...very smelly :)

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  118. "Is this TB? You can tell me. ;)"


    I wish I could take credit for Jesus freak troll, but no. I'm just sitting back and enjoying the show.

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  119. Tink any time you feel like chatting with me, let me know. I'm sure you'll find it... entertaining. ;)

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  120. "Please, can I just... touch her a little? Like maybe with my penis? OOooooo"

    I'll remind you safe sex is a must, even with a cadaver. Always use a condom. Just because she comes across as a nice christian girl just strangled by a christian boy doesn't mean she is clean. Remember not only has she had sex with her boyfriend, she has also had sex with all of her boyfriend's, boyfriends.

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  122. I see you really are deleting all your old posts, Peter. When you post under an anonymous name your IP is not recorded. If you post under your blog name a record is still kept with IP. Unless you are just concerned with what the public can view. In that case the way you are doing things is the best. I'm hoping M.E. will delete his blog after a couple of years anyways. It would be a precaution I would take just in case there are any repercussions in the future.

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  125. you're really mindless and have no technical background. why would anyone even post here, except for a drive by.

    You can be traced by the serial numbers embedded in your network addresses, you are lame game wannabes, and you don't even hide?

    If i get the time i might just come and see you.

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  127. anonymous, serial numbers? howz cable internet different from dial up?

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  128. Anonymous at July 3, 2009 9:53 AM,
    Anonymous at July 3, 2009 7:15 AM is being pompous and ignorant. Proxy servers.
    Ex: http://www.youhide.com/

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  130. it makes it pretty fucking lame to read back on people's repsonses if you've deleted all your posts. M.E. might as well disable comments if that is what its going to be like. look at how much peter posts and it's all gone. the responses make no sense now. stop being so fucking scared. get balls or something like that if you are going to post at all. if not, then don't post.

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  132. Peters pretty much a joke, he's the only one that can't see it.

    Network cards carry individual serial numbers, so it depends how you're connected to the net as to how traceable you are, and if anyones bothering to trace you, it's not an automatic thing.

    Proxy's only fudge your IP routing, not your identity, do a bit of wardriving if you really want to hide. Thats hijacking someone else's wireless network, pretty easy to do and anonymous.

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  133. You name yourself after the definition of immaturity, then criticize someone for being honestly anonymous, like you post under your real identity, if you know what that is.

    Barrel, fish, depressing.

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  135. Don't give up Peter. I enjoy your comments. I also think it is great people are annoyed when you delete them. Keep it up!

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  136. I didn't say I was going to stop posting. I just admitted defeat.

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  137. I'm sorry, I never really honestly have the patience to read all these comments when I come this late into a conversation, but I wanted to point out the afore discussed sociopath who studied facial expressions and sad faces, happy faces etc. I think this is a trait common in sociopaths. Not so much the vanity aspect or anything like that, but I think sociopaths are very much aware of how our emotions dictate our manerisms because we do not have such a relationship between our features and emotions. Probably because we lack the emotion, our intuition will pick up on the smallest hints of insecurity, craziness, desperation, etc, lacking all such traits, or having overcome them.
    For example, when people lie, I can tell because I know how I lie. Glances, details in what they're talking about, tone, quickness or slowness, busying themselves suddenly. Any such sudden changes stand out to an extrem,e to me. I don't even always notice myself noticing, but these intuitions make me very much aware of what people are thinking. I can often read people's minds by these intuitive clues, and some people call it psychic.

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  138. Question to the real psychopaths out there ( please empaths dont bore me, im an empath so i know what i would answer to my own questions, or how to get creative with it):

    -do you ever (think at least) you are in love? what does in love truly meant to you. now dont think back about any random conquests whom youve told you were in love woth them. go back in your memory to a person you felt more for than that. dissect it. what was that.

    -what did or does the love for you mother entail? what doesnt it.

    -are you innately bored. what relieves boredom and how on earth arent searches for power boring and empty either ( i know im an empath so learning new things and establishing lasting things satisfies me on multiple levels). i mean money and sex is boring if thats just it, in itself?

    thanks yall
    ps im a girl

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  139. Hi Thunderball my name is Chris.

    I read a few of the comments and noticed you became confused, and well, given the skeptical and childishly angry theme that is permeating many of the comments, I thought I might shed some light on the matter and help you out a bit.

    Most people are slaves to their conscience. They may have the thoughts of a sociopath, but not the biology--amygdala and prefrontal cortex dysfunctions. So every time they have a vengeful thought or an impulse to do something gratifying but "bad", they can't act on it because their body makes them feel bad--in simple terms.

    Thus they project their hidden desires onto you through reaction formation--a defense mechanism--in the form of aggressive, superior, or belittling comments or justifications. They may shift excessive value onto their capacity for "meaningful relationships". They may call you subhuman, an animal, and an emotional retard. They may invariably call you a criminal or a rodent who will never accomplish anything noteworthy in life, as if your pathology condemns it. They do this because they do not want you to have the perfect package--no conscience and the sanity to fit into society and move up. They feel you should be punished, that you are too good to be true. They will defend themselves against you using moral arguments, yet their morality is the very thing they despise. Essentially, because they cannot relate to you on any level and you embody many of their secret desires, they berate you with hidden envy.

    The funny thing is, being a sociopath isn't a jolly existence. They are lonely and often feel chronic "emptiness"--you may know what I mean. But because no one can relate to the subjective state of the sociopath they condemn them out of selfish ignorance.

    btw...I was diagnosed with adhd when I was a child and recently NPD.

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  140. Chris you are right in so many ways in what you say. Most people do have sociopathic thoughts, but are slaves to their conscience.
    As they would call us criminals and animals I would call them weak. They don't have what it takes to make it to the top.

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  141. The funny thing is, being a sociopath isn't a jolly existence. They are lonely and often feel chronic "emptiness"--you may know what I mean. But because no one can relate to the subjective state of the sociopath they condemn them out of selfish ignorance.

    Chris you are right about the emptiness thing. At least, that’s been my experience. I would however add that I think emptiness is in fact the true state of affairs for all of us. The only real difference between a so called sociopath and normals may very well be the former’s inability to fill his/her mind with beliefs that are supposed to ‘fill’ that emptiness.

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  142. Thanks Chris, I totally missed your post. You've summed it up so well. Thanks dude.

    Just as a note, I hardly ever read back. So if you want to comment to me, probably better to do it in a more recent blog entry.

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  143. okay so you ignore my questions earlier. no biggie.

    i am very interested in the loneliness comments posted by an anonymous poster by the name of chris ( i know...).

    in a way you could easily say all the hoopla sociopaths go through and call upon themselves is for one purpose only: filling the insatiable void they constantly have.

    constant focus on (instant) ego gratification is the only answer sociopaths seem to be able to find in order to fill the void up. never fully, never lasting...

    any ideas?

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  144. and to daniel birdick:

    correction: not the beliefs fill our emptiness, but our feeling and emotional bonds with others. we FEEL that. it FILLS us up. also when we are ALONE without anything to keep us thrilled ( tv, games, sex, an audience you name it what work for you)

    know what im sayin?

    if i sound a bit ccoky its just because im an empath on a sociopath's site.

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  145. and to pager

    -most sociopaths never ever reach any top but the delusion 'top' in their distorted reality. most sociopaths end up alone, having sucked empty all of their resources and are doomed to a life of being on the run. they end up burnt up, a lot of em kill themselves by accident why their own reckless behavior or go in and out of jail all their lives. but hey, maybe that is the top you are referring to: always being able to sollicit a new thrill.

    -some sociopaths do reach a top. assuming you would mean top in terms of economical wealth, status and such. but in terms of adoration and love sociopath lead an empty existence: long lasting loving relationship arent formed. they may marry, have an audience, think they have respect whereas in reality all they have achieved is for people to do whatever they can to be able to deal with the sociopath in a way that is least damaging to themselves.
    sociopathic behavior is aimed at only primitive goals. sophistication and class is forever unachievable.

    not matter how smart, no matter how good looking: sociopaths will always remain a shadow of what they could have been.

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  146. Howdy Disney!

    Disney said,“correction: not the beliefs fill our emptiness, but our feeling and emotional bonds with others. we FEEL that. it FILLS us up.”

    know what im sayin?


    Yes I do. Now let me elaborate on what I am saying. First, beliefs about people are often attached to (some even say precede, but that’s debatable) emotions. By beliefs, I mean thoughts that your brain tells you are true about other people and the world in general. If you detach the truth claim from the emotion what are you left with? What is an emotion, especially emotions that are physical responses to other people, without its intellectual content?

    This leads to my second point. As one commentator on this blog put it, feeling something doesn’t make that thing real. You may feel all sorts of emotions for another person and you may label those emotions love. Those emotions, however, don’t necessarily tell you anything true or real about anything other than your own momentary subjective state. I’d argue that very often bonding emotions actually blind you to certain facts on the one hand while distracting you from the meaninglessness of your life on the other hand. They don’t say love is blind for nuthin! The sociopathic brain may be less equipped to generate the emotions/beliefs associated with bonding, which creates a space for greater clarity and ironically enough, less moral hypocrisy and self delusion.

    There’s much that could be said about evolution, survival of the gene, sexual reproduction, hormones like oxytocin and dopamine, and the brain’s ceaseless ability to fool itself, but I won’t go there. I hope I’ve made my point without becoming more pedantic than I already have been.

    It’s telling that you chose the name Disney as your handle. Disney, the name most associated with fantasy and make believe. If you question the beliefs you have about bonding for their truth content, you might be unpleasantly surprised at what you find. Or not. There’s nothing wrong with the amusement park that is human social life. It’s as real as Walt Disney World’s Main Street USA.

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  147. Daniel Birdick

    Amusement parks bore me to tears. I honestly didnt give the name any thought. I suppose I am not very imaginative after all.

    Thank you for your response. I find it utterly refreshing to read from a sociopath who isnt aftraid to come out at laest uttering his authentic ideas, instead of a deception.

    Your response is ofcourse a rational one. Ultimately spirituality ( not talking about religion here, Im agnostic myself) and FEELING arent to be grasped by ratio, and the sociopath seemingly incapable of doing so, I predict this discussion to be aimless anyhow, but lets give it a try for arguments sake.

    Sociopaths miss bonding hormones ( or acceptable quantity of it) like oxitocin and vasopressin. Stimulants like dopamine, testosterone and norepinephrine are readily present. So in a way sociopaths are hormonally handicapped. On the otehr hand I have noticed most sociopaths are as far as IQ is concerned quite ok.Therefore it surprises me so much you would ridicule empaths for them ' fooling themselves' more than you do yourself. Any sociopath is restricted and liberated by his or her own constitution as much as an empath. For the empath and the sociopath count the same: beauty ( and truth) is in the eye of the beholder. The real question you would want to ask yourself is how does your fooling yourself (or your view on others/the world whatever) SERVE you?
    And how does it affect your emptiness?

    Id be delighted to read your experience with this.

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  148. First off Disney, I don’t proselytize. I am indeed a rationalist and a skeptic, but I don’t bother trying very hard to convince other people to think as I do. I already know that’s pointless. But if you’re interested in a simple exchange of ideas, I’m all for that. You could conceivably convince me to change any of my “positions” with reason and evidence. Otherwise…

    Secondly, I didn’t mean to imply that I think the sociopathic brain is hormonally challenged. I have come across no research that indicates that as the principle difference between sociopaths and normals at a neurological level. I bought it up in the context of the subjects I listed to imply that there are biological explanations for phenomena like love that have nothing to do with anything objectively true. In other words, if the human species were to go extinct there is no reason to believe that love and morality and meaning would still be part of the universe. These ideas that drive society are like mass hallucinations rather than clear eyed expressions of fact.

    Thirdly, my comments weren’t meant as ridicule. Yes, I think many people fool themselves, but I don’t say that to mock them. At least not in this particular conversation. It was a simple statement of fact. Am I capable of fooling myself? Absolutely. My brain is as vulnerable to self deception as every other human brain, which is why I try very hard to mitigate against that. Do I think I fool myself less than most people? Naturally. Does that mean that I think that I am infallible? Absolutely not. Reason and science are the only defenses we have against our innate tendency to delude ourselves. That is why I am a rationalist. I have questioned myself repeatedly, ruthlessly even. To use one author’s analogy, I’ve set up a Spartan meritocracy in my mind. All of my beliefs must continually earn their right to call themselves truths. They do that by repeatedly demonstrating their explanatory and predictive power. As soon as any belief stops explaining observed phenomena and/or loses its predictive accuracy, it loses its status as a truth and is relegated to the status of myth, fairytale, or just plain lie.

    An example of that would be the story of meaning. I have examined the issue of meaning from a variety of angles, looking for why it was objectively true. For a long time I wanted to believe in meaning. However, I had to admit that I found no evidence and therefore no reason to continue to do so. That held true for love (as defined as something beyond or more than human emotion) and god and so on. What’s left is emptiness, which was what was there before. I also noticed that the same rhetorical tactics used to defend religion are used to defend meaning and love (the mythical version). Facts stand up under scrutiny while myths need constant propping up with emotions for instance. I also came to believe that what I observed would have to be true for everyone else as well. And so the emptiness isn’t something to be filled, it’s something most people distract themselves from by believing in all the things they believe in.

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  149. Birdick

    I understand what youre saying. I do.
    I will try to break it down in a more concrete manner.

    If doing something for someone else without getting anything back but appreciation and love, doesnt satisfy: than the sociopath wont be served by any type of fact or rationalisation.

    Finally: did you notice how you never answered my question as to how your glasses, as i will name it now, are SERVING you?


    Also I think the satisfaction you see other people gain from their emotional bonds could serve as hard evidence, since your brain needs that.

    No research that indicates the hormonal deficits as a PRINCIPLE difference. That is true. I never used the word principle though. The evidence is there and I suspect you know it.

    I must say I truly think it is quite honorable the way you are truthful towards ( at least) yourself. I would almost think I am talking to a sociopath with a not so HUGE of an ego. But seeing how your post was built up 'defense style' I am assured you indeed are one.

    I think what you are grasping quite well (and defintely even most empaths dont ever get this) is that only by removing your ego you can ever fathom anything. Meaning by looking at your glasses instead of through them.

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  150. bridick

    i was being 'manually challenged' and therefore for some reason scribbled the ' finally' comment in the middle. im sure you understand how to read it.

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  151. If doing something for someone else without getting anything back but appreciation and love, doesnt satisfy: than the sociopath wont be served by any type of fact or rationalisation.


    Why not? You’re just asserting that rather than demonstrating why what you are saying is true for me as well as you.


    Finally: did you notice how you never answered my question as to how your glasses, as i will name it now, are SERVING you?


    I thought my saying that I used rationality as a bulwark against my own tendency to delude myself answered that. My glasses, my worldview so to speak, is one based on reason. It’s the best one we have because it works. The very medium thru which we are having this conversation is proof enough of that. Reason, and its progeny science and technology, has amply demonstrated its ability to produce results consistently and I am served by going with what works. We all are.


    Also I think the satisfaction you see other people gain from their emotional bonds could serve as hard evidence, since your brain needs that.


    Hard evidence of what?


    I must say I truly think it is quite honorable the way you are truthful towards ( at least) yourself. I would almost think I am talking to a sociopath with a not so HUGE of an ego. But seeing how your post was built up 'defense style' I am assured you indeed are one.


    LOL. Against what would I be defending myself and why?


    I think what you are grasping quite well (and defintely even most empaths dont ever get this) is that only by removing your ego you can ever fathom anything. Meaning by looking at your glasses instead of through them.

    Ok then. I agree with you, in a way. The question then becomes, who is dismantling the ego and how can the difference be discerned?

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  152. ok one thing at a time:

    hard evidence of what? you ask.

    that it fills the void!!!!

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  153. "who is dismantling the ego and how can the difference be discerned?"

    this is stereotypical sociopathic ' word salad' to me, no offense ( but non taken, i know i know)

    could you please be concrete about what you are asking here? you know im giving this thought here.

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  154. finally i think the question to you is WHY would you care to rationalise anything if delusion SERVES you?
    example: whether the delusion be love or sex ( love embodying the empaths ability to feel and form lasting bonds and so forth and sociopath to go for the thrill of the moment...im generalising here i know, but you get my pojnt)

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  155. Disney said, “hard evidence of what? you ask.

    that it fills the void!!!!”


    Well I suppose you could characterize it that way. In my mind it’s more accurate to say that those things serve as useful distractions rather than as actual void fillers. But hey, it works the same either way, no?

    I was being literal when I asked that question about ego btw. You bring up seeing past the ego. My question is, who is seeing the past the ego? The real you? How would you know what the real you is as opposed to the ego? Again, literally, how would you know?

    finally i think the question to you is WHY would you care to rationalise anything if delusion SERVES you?
    example: whether the delusion be love or sex ( love embodying the empaths ability to feel and form lasting bonds and so forth and sociopath to go for the thrill of the moment...im generalising here i know, but you get my pojnt)


    I am unable to generate the kinds of emotions and beliefs that normals can. It doesn’t serve me to pretend otherwise. That doesn’t make popular beliefs about love and meaning objectively true in any event. Emotions are not a reliable guide to facts.

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  156. I see...

    I think there is nothing you and I can bridge here. Nor would you like to ( apart from ' for arguments sake')

    Ironically your last post had this reaction on me:
    It gave me an overwhelming need to hug you....

    What a crazy world.

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  157. Could you recall what your emotions were as far as you think you had them towards the persons you most appreciated ( i shall for arguments sake also not use the word love here) in your life. maybe your mother for instance. i understand there werent any bonding emotions ( hormones) there, but what WAS there?
    I know describing what feelings that person evoked in you is maybe hard, and you may need to think of it of what thoughts the person evoked or something?

    i think this is a question i could ask you as youre actually articulate and selfexamining enough to particpate in this blog and therefore not engaging in the more savage activities most sociopaths are?

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  158. Birdick, you say; "I was being literal when I asked that question about ego btw. You bring up seeing past the ego. My question is, who is seeing the past the ego? The real you? How would you know what the real you is as opposed to the ego? Again, literally, how would you know?"


    Because I appreciate the hell out of your honesty ( as an empath/normal I am a huge sucker for that, and this sentence is actually already an answer to your question, catch my drift?) I will give answering your question a try...

    - looking at your own feeling/emotions/instincts for al I care, from the great distance you do, will not make you grasp em just like only reacting upon them wont.

    -i think there is simply a wall between you and the rest of the world that cannot be bridged lastingly no:correction, at all( is what i meant to say in an earlier post and which evoked the sympathic feeling in me of wanting to give you a hug)

    I realise while Im tryng to answer your question I am not capable of answering it to YOU. I can for me, but it wont hit home to you. I think you would have to elaborate on my question I posted before this one, for me to give it another try.

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  159. You’re insightful Disney, I’ll give you that. But you’re not as insightful as you think you are. I’m not interested in playing lab specimen to satisfy the curiosity of someone who hasn’t even bothered to question her own assumptions about herself and about the way the world works. Or if you have, I couldn't tell from what you're posted here. Instead all I see is moral superiority, self aggrandizing posturing and even pity for someone you think is somehow defective because he doesn’t believe/feel as you do. This is nothing more than yet another display of unquestioning normality and I’m all stocked up on that at the moment.

    Come and talk to me again after you’ve made a stab at learning to distinguish reality from egoic fantasy.

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  160. Daniel

    I didnt mean to come across as morally superior. THAT wouldnt serve me in no context whatsoever.

    I think if you are not WILLING and CURIOUS enough to be able to let your EGO go for a bit longer than a few seconds to research this shit with me than I will be honest and say I dont have any tools to come to any answers all by myself. Not even for arguments sake.

    How can you honestly feel as lab specimen on a blog is what Im wondering. In combination with the fact you ARE sensing Im being real and quite open myself.

    But hey I have no need to win or control plus Im patient as fuck. So do as you please my man.

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  161. Also Daniel

    I never told you I wouldnt be norma, quite the conraryl. I suppose I can, by your last post, conclude you got your hopes up and you were already expecting things from me before we even gave this talk a shot. You forgot our constitution is different, but your ego was anticipating on a higher you. Meaning your ego tricks you the second we started.

    And although I dont think Im superior from anybody else ( I actually think that is the most useless discussion ever to have, it doesnt help me to know I am either superior or inferior), I think I BECAUSE of my empathic constitution ( blessing or torture it may be) am more capable of looking at my glasses than you are. WHICH is EXACTLY where the sociopaths isolation could stem from. No?

    Listen I dont say I dont ever feel existential angst. I do. The extent is different though. What Im wondering about is whether a sociopath is also looking for meaning in life instead of happiness (which is truly a sign of normalcy).

    Can I ask you what fills up your void even temporarily at this point in your life? Or is that to personal for you?

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  162. Disney that's not a question it's a statement.
    As for my emptyness, you got the wrong guy. Try Thunderball (I'm not being insulting this time). He has that tendency. I'm very happy with my life. It's a constant thrill ride. I think people's negative or positive view of how I live my life is subjective at best, jealous at worst.
    The top is the big seat. The lead position of anything. It's not neccassarily occupational. I've always subconsciously worked my way into leadership, till I began to understand myself. When I figured out that I have that tendency I decided to put effort in it.
    You asked if sociopaths seek meaning in life. I don't seek meaning or happiness. I'm already happy. I am the meaning in my life.
    You seem to be trying to figure out sociopaths. I saw your question earlier, but I didn't answer, because I figured you were a broken hearted empath with a former sociopath as a boyfriend. I'll answer that now.
    To the question of thinking we are in love. The answer is yes. We aren't cyborgs. I can't love people I can manipulate. I lose respect for them and they make me sick. I can't love people who try to manipulate me either. It becomes a power struggle. My ideal relationship is where someone is powerful enough to manipulate people, but still defers to me. I have that now.
    I relieve boredom by staying occupied. I have several goals that can never be finished. They are indefinite goals you might say. How can getting power be boring? It's a constant struggle to get it, and more of one to maintain it. Money and sex are not boring. Even a empath should know that.
    I see that you needed to state you're a girl. Was that to seem non-threatning? What caused you to seek out answers? I also see you are somewhat objective, which shows you didn't come here because some sociopath hurt you, so what are you here about? It's odd that you chose such a old topic, which means you were looking for specific answers. However, you don't seem to have a notion you could learn to read people like a sociopath, instead you are trying to understan how sociopaths see things. Why is this? I think it's high time you started answering some questions, since both me and Daniel were more than fair.

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  163. Pager

    Thank you for your response.

    You didnt answer any latent question i had.

    What your writing did do is make me wanna cover up my vagina. Now you know Im speaking truthfully and non manipulatively.

    Listening to my gut tells me wether Im dealing with a sociopath, that doesnt mean I am not interested in the workings of their mind. Ultimately it helps me understand my own aswell.

    You will be able to manipulate your girlfriend ( or boyfriend) at one point. Guaranteed. It will start with small lies or embellishments and before you are able to control yourself the 'love' is gone. That why I can tell you now it wont last. And its typical for any sociopath, nothing ever lasts for them. But hey, you are happy anyhow so it wont bother you, now will it. I wonder what you mean with you think you are in love. What that ' love' entails for you then.

    Money and sex AS SUCH i think is what I said,are boring. Just getting it done, or getting wealthy AS SUCH is highly unrewarding, from my stance at least. So thats why I wondered about that. I think low (er) IQ-ed sociopaths might me satisfied with more base things that they like 'struggling' for, like power power, more money, more sex etc. But I doubt whether more intelligent sociopaths ( like, I think, Daniel Birdick) can reach satisfaction from the same trips over and over to keep themselves occupied.

    I think I needed to state I am a girl so I would not just receive some powerplay like I see happening a lot here. So I think in a way youre right about that.

    Dont talk to me about ' fair' in the way you do. Just because you give me words doesnt mean youre trying to do anything for me here. And I ofcourse dont expect you to.
    I dont mind giving a bit more than you will give back as far as answering eachothers question is concerned. I have some questions for you but I will be honest and think its useless to pose them cause youre just gonna give me attitude and empty words. I just wanna get a little deeper into things about how you experience them, but when I go there, just like Daniel, ya'll will shut like Ali Baba's cave. And probably predictably blame it on your boredom. Care to help me out here?

    ReplyDelete
  164. Pager.

    Ill answer a question you posed and I forgot. How can power be boring? Cause you CAN manipulate anybody into fear or obedience. ANYBODY can be spiritually broken or ultimately killed. Its just a matter of the extent of dedication you put into it. For some reason that does not appeal to me. But I understand fully other people, like you, think different about this. Why? i dont know, my brain is different, but I still would like to understand this.I guess I am also here looking for meaning, that simply isnt there?

    I wonder also about the sense of uniqueness sociopaths have. That makes absolutely no sense to me. Im sure youve read the 48 laws of power. Too many people who are in this book. Everyone is very unique. Yes, arent we ALL so UNIQUE. Sociopaths are more ruthless and therefore more able to execute some behavior, yes. But most people are capable of doing something/anything better than most others. Ultimately powerplay isnt about you but about others, and that is what contradicts sociopaths the most. I am afraid Im doubling a point someone else at one point made on this blog, but ultimately you feel better at overpowering people you dont even respect. I CANNOT imagine anything more boring, yet if it were boring, you as a sociopath surely would be bored by it. So then I think it must be into the sadistic aspect, watching others crumble, whether you respect the person or not, that in itself must be a trhill? Correct? So it all comes down to thrills. Lots of small thrills to be occupied with on the road to achieving the 'indefinite goals'. But it still will remain just thrills. So if that would ultimately be the way you go through life, than I dont see how your girlfriend would entertain you ( and I wont even start to ask how you entertain her). She wont manipulate you, you wont manipulate her, so where are the thrills?

    ReplyDelete
  165. "What your writing did do is make me wanna cover up my vagina..."

    Your vagina has no use for me, nor does you being man or women make a difference to me. Your insight and outside perspective is my sole motive for talking to you.

    "You will be able to manipulate your girlfriend ( or boyfriend) at one point. Guaranteed."

    I don't need to. She helps me manipulate other people and gives me another viewpoint. We are team. I have done what you speak of in a lot of relationships, so I know why you have that notion. This one is sort of a experiment that seems to work.

    "Money and sex AS SUCH i think is what I said,are boring..."

    If sex for you is boring maybe it's time you got a new partner. Being wealthy in and of itself is not fun for me. Being able to do what I want everyday is. I get paid to do what I want.

    "I think I needed to state I am a girl so I would not just receive some powerplay like I see happening a lot here."

    You being a women wouldn't stop me if I felt you were weak and useless like fluffball. You are not weak, and you are more useful than most of these folk.

    "Dont talk to me about ' fair' in the way you do. Just because you give me words doesnt mean youre trying to do anything for me here. And I ofcourse dont expect you to."

    You must have a lot of experience in dealing with sociopaths. Don't be so defensive. I'm not here to play childish games with you. Don't take my exchange with fluffball to be how I deal with everyone.

    "I have some questions for you but I will be honest and think its useless to pose them cause youre just gonna give me attitude and empty words.."

    You are on a sociopath website. Even if anyone trusted you surely they would not post in a open forum stuff that would leave them open. Look what happend to fluffball.

    Your meat and potatoes of your questions starts here now that maybe we are a little less hostile:

    "...Ultimately you feel better at overpowering people you dont even respect. I CANNOT imagine anything more boring, yet if it were boring, you as a sociopath surely would be bored by it. So then I think it must be into the sadistic aspect, watching others crumble, whether you respect the person or not, that in itself must be a trhill? Correct?"

    It amuses me rarely to manipulate people I don't respect. There's no fun in it usually. Overpower would be me using fear and intimidation. I don't use that on people I can easily overpower unless they push the issue. I use it on people when it's neccessary to use it. It's no fun at all and sometimes it's costly. Sometimes what I do to people's life is terrible and it makes me laugh. I never thought it as being a sadist till you said it. I don't hope that term applies. If it helps they fuck themselves. I can't help if they dangle a bone to a dog and I bite.
    It's way more amusing to overpower strong people and bullies (Funny ME wrote a article on it), because their downfall is all the more hilarious. They hide their insecurities and it's fun to figure them out and use it against them.

    "She wont manipulate you, you wont manipulate her, so where are the thrills?"

    Maninpulating others. Someone to get the jokes with. I can't tell anyone else them.
    "What your writing did do is make me wanna cover up my vagina. Now you know Im speaking truthfully and non manipulatively."

    Your vagina has no use for me, nor does you being man or women make a difference to me. Your insight and outside perspective is my sole motive for talking to you.

    ReplyDelete
  166. (continued)

    "You will be able to manipulate your girlfriend ( or boyfriend) at one point. Guaranteed."

    I don't need to. She helps me manipulate other people and gives me another viewpoint. We are team. I have done what you speak of in a lot of relationships, so I know why you have that notion. This one is sort of a experiment that seems to work.

    "Money and sex AS SUCH i think is what I said,are boring. Just getting it done, or getting wealthy AS SUCH is highly unrewarding, from my stance at least."

    If sex for you is boring maybe it's time you got a new partner. Being wealthy in and of itself is not fun for me. Being able to do what I want everyday is. I get paid to do what I want.

    "I think I needed to state I am a girl so I would not just receive some powerplay like I see happening a lot here."

    You being a women wouldn't stop me if I felt you were weak and useless like fluffball. You are not weak, and you are more useful than the rest of these folk.

    "Dont talk to me about ' fair' in the way you do. Just because you give me words doesnt mean youre trying to do anything for me here. And I ofcourse dont expect you to."

    You must have a lot of experience in dealing with sociopaths. Don't be so defensive. I'm not here to play childish games with you. Don't take my exchange with fluffball to be how I deal with everyone.

    "I have some questions for you but I will be honest and think its useless to pose them cause youre just gonna give me attitude and empty words. I just wanna get a little deeper into things about how you experience them, but when I go there, just like Daniel, ya'll will shut like Ali Baba's cave. And probably predictably blame it on your boredom. Care to help me out here?"

    You are on a sociopath website. Even if anyone trusted you surely they would not post in a open forum stuff that would leave them open. Look what happend to fluffball.

    Your meat and potatoes of your questions starts here now that maybe we are a little less hostile:

    "...Ultimately you feel better at overpowering people you dont even respect....?"

    It amuses me rarely to manipulate people I don't respect. There's no fun in it usually. Overpower would be me using fear and intimidation. I don't use that on people I can easily overpower unless they push the issue. I use it on people when it's neccessary to use it. It's no fun at all and sometimes it's costly.
    It's way more amusing to overpower strong people and bullies (Funny ME wrote a article on it), because their downfall is all the more hilarious. They hide their insecurities and it's fun to figure them out and use them against themselves.

    "She wont manipulate you, you wont manipulate her, so where are the thrills?"

    Maninpulating others. Someone to get the jokes with. I can't tell anyone else them.

    ReplyDelete
  167. She helps me manipulate other people and gives me another viewpoint. We are team.

    To what end? I'm guessing jas is your girl because she talks exactly like you. If so, why did you need to come on here to defend her/try to get rid of me? If she is so great she should have been able to do it herself. She always struck me as pretty weak, quick to kiss ass and delete posts. Do you love each other? Help this weak bipolar out. Because all I see is a wannabe power couple trying to identify themselves with a group of people who they perceive as strong. The internet is haven to compulsive keyboard addicts. If you are attending rockstar parties and living life to the fullest why are you responding to every post about yourself? Something you criticized me for. The more you obsessively write on here, the more and more you are showing the same flaws.

    ReplyDelete
  168. "If you are attending rockstar parties and living life to the fullest why are you responding to every post about yourself? Something you criticized me for. The more you obsessively write on here, the more and more you are showing the same flaws."

    I'm glad you see yourself as flawed. That's a good step for you.

    "I'm guessing jas is your girl because she talks exactly like you."

    Nice try. Everyone on this site but you talks the same Fluffball(There's a common theme that you have failed to grasp), but unless we are having a orgy I don't have relationships with them.
    Maybe me, Jsnow and Peter are having a three way in never never land there's a new topic for you. Maybe you and evil emporer are over there making each other 'take it up the ass' as you/he likes to say. Maybe ME can make this into a sociopath date site, and you can start a sister company for bipolar people.
    Maybe you need to hold off more than one day to figure me out to come back at me. I thought you had more self control.

    ReplyDelete
  169. I think that the way a sociopath reads people is not a full reading it is a reading of their weaknesses. In essence it is a negative reading. They will sum up your weaknesses and determine how they can manipulate you with it. They will do all this with disgust. They do not see your strengths and this is a major flaw of the sociopath. They underestimate their victims because their readings are incomplete and geared towards their own superiority and excitement in getting over on the other person. I've heard my ex socio sum me up... all negative all my weaknesses all truth. All the worse things that I acknowledged and believed to be true about myself. He has never acknowledged my strengths he views me as a completely weak person and that is his biggest mistake because he underestimates my capabilities. A sociopath believes that they are strong because they are fearless and not controlled by emotions but watch when they are under pressure. They cry to everyone for pity, they can't take it when the going gets tough. Me being very emotional have been through the worst feelings of grieving, I have toughed it out through a lot and I know that I can get through anything even on the brink of breaking point without breaking. I have becoming adaptive because of what I have had to endure through the pain of my strong emotions. The sociopaths one reaction is anger, that is one of their only tactics in terms of survival I believe. Maybe I'm just talking out my ass. I don't claim to be an expert but from what I've witnessed from dating a sociopath for years this is the case. They cry victim under pressure, they rely to heavily on anger and revenge, they don't have the stamina that those of us with feelings who have been trained by disappointment and enduring love through the pain many times do to get through many different trials.

    ReplyDelete
  170. Oh yeah and sociopaths also seem to be absolutely horrible at reading themselves. Their superiority complex is too strong. Just like anyone else they have patterns. Once you know their pattern you can read their playbook, lies, thoughts pretty easily. It would not be worth reading a sociopath in order to manipulate or avenge though because they are so extremely prone to anger and revenge.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like the fact you claim not to be an expert; on sociopathy you are not. However, you may be an expert on the sociopath you lived with so close for so long. He was just one with his own hang ups, his own level of intelligence, and his own degree of ASPD. Monkey with any of those three ingredients and you get a new sociopath. The same underlying attributes are all there but now the motives and methods have changed. Enter a new "victim" into the same sociopath's equation and how that sociopath may operate can change due to the new "victims" weaknesses and strengths. That's right; other's strengths are very much recognized and taken into account. At least for me. I may never tell you that I recognize them, but then again I might later on to shower you with praise making you feel better and perhaps more motivated to contribute to something I need taken care of. But yes, I can very quickly sum up a person's strengths as well as their weaknesses. It's the broad generalizations I read based upon one individuals one experience (although may be traumatic) with in most cases only a "suspected" sociopath I guess that really grinds my gears.

      Delete
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  174. I'm an extreme, as you put it, "empath" and reading people and recognizing "mask-wearers" it a big talent of mine. I don't believe the two completly correlate. I think this judgment call is based more on observation than on a condition. Which by the way is soley based on the lack of a specific protien in your brain. It's not like it gives you super-human people reading powers lol

    ReplyDelete
  175. I have been told I am unusually insightful
    that is called superficial charm
    if you trust your own lies that is called narcism right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i only trust the void and my goals

      Delete
    2. may the void be with you

      Delete
    3. if you trust your own lies that is called narcism right?

      da

      Delete
  176. Monica, why do you never post in the forum?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My e mail didn't work to get me on. I took it as a sign.

      Delete
    2. Of course it was a sign. You should never use your personal email there. You have to create a new email account and use that to be safe anyway.

      Delete
    3. I am addicted enough to the Comments section. I don't need another addiction. Here I sit.

      Delete
    4. hey Monica, something occurred to me today that you may find useful. in case you do, here it is:

      you may not be frozen, but going through the stages of mourning. when you saw your mother the way she really was, that meant losing the ideal version of her. also that's when you would have realized what you lost in yourself (when you became frozen). so you have two losses...

      that would explain the "looping" (repeating same things), the black and white thinking (idealizing/vilifying), and preoccupation with your mother. this is exactly how i am when i'm breaking up with someone or something, such as a concept or belief. i really struggle!

      there is the part of you that's outgrown the person or belief and doesn't want it around. you blame the other, however the change is in you. this new part can't live the old way.

      and then there is the old part of you that's still left that's hanging on to the old way or the other person for dear life because letting go means its death. but the only way to move forward is to let this part die. hence the mourning.

      i'm all migrainey... so hope that made sense.

      Delete
    5. correction: ..(when you became "frozen"). so you have two losses...

      Delete
    6. It makes total sense, Zoe. I wanted to come back and talk to you about this, as another friend from SW told me how profound your words were and they were. However, *I* need to find the truth of them for myself. If I parrot you, I am looking in the Teachers Book for the answers, without knowing how to do the problems.
      Then, I will, forever, need a guru.

      Delete
    7. I wanted to write on the difference between cognitive therapies and experiential ones.

      There are people who swear by each. I think cognitive can only take you so far. I think that when you had trauma, you froze( anyone) The cognitive part is one part of you, but I don't believe it can really participate to unfreeze you, so to speak. This goes to the Right Brain Trauma Theory school of thought, which is accepted by many authorities in the psych field. It is not considered way out, now, as it may have been, in the recent past.

      At any rate, books like Primal Therapy bu Janov illustrate the experiential approach to therapy. People like Albert Ellis are the cognitive approach.

      I, personally, don't believe in the cognitive for real change. I think the person can talk the talk, but the insides remain unchanged. That is my opinion and experience.

      What this all means, going back to my mother and the loops, is that I have to experience what I went through until I have experienced the trauma and the pain, such that it has left. Then, I will be set free and no longer have it plaguing me, constantly, as it does now. My interactions at SW bring up the pain of my childhood and so I welcome them, even the worst of them, perhaps, especially the worst of them.

      My loops etc will continue until I heal the trauma- ( God willing and the creek don't rise)

      Delete
    8. If I parrot you, I am looking in the Teachers Book for the answers, without knowing how to do the problems.

      no don't parrot me!!! never parrot anyone! independent thinker remember? it just occurred to me that the looping, obsessing, and black and white bipolar swings is insanity i go through when i'm "breaking up", that's all. a pretty awful state.

      it has to click. if it doesn't, it doesn't. eventually when something clicks for you, and things turn around, it might be a combination of a bit of this or a bit of that, a sharp turning point or a windy process. that's been my experience of it.

      as far as being profound goes, it's always about the reader not the writer. you form your own meaning from words of others. but i'm flattered anyway. :)

      Delete
    9. I am having such bad depression. What the guy wrote about in the Forum, on becoming frozen, is it. It happens at a very young age. It is a defense against death. Then, when you grow up, you carry it like a gimp leg. It is all gnarled. You have no idea how to let it go. It stays there like a pregnant pause, except you never get beyond it. Maybe, it sits on your shoulder until you die.

      Delete
    10. I had a strange experience. One of the people I hated, I flipped into him, and I felt what he felt. He went into a mental institution for a few days. They took away his belt and his face was so blank. He was there with all the people, all messed up and he was so ashamed. I felt that shame and I cried. Then, I forgave him.

      Delete
  177. I scrolled all the way down the comments this morning, and then I was too exhausted to write "First" :)

    Though this is an old post, it's perfectly timed for me. A few days ago I was introduced to someone by a friend. They think this someone is awesome - strong, caring, competent, big-hearted - and my assessment is quite different. My friend is very concerned, and can't understand why I'm not dazzled and awed (and this particular friend knows me very well, and usually trusts my judgement).

    If I take the dangled opportunity to get more involved, I'll end up pushing this person off balance until their issues are clear to everyone who's letting them mess with their lives.

    Why would I do that? Because it's annoying to me to see an unbalanced, self-centred witch pretending to have the answers and trying to control a group of needy people to feed her ego.

    ReplyDelete
  178. Replies
    1. A song for "Monica" would be flowers in her "Mind."
      Right?

      Delete
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