Saturday, December 20, 2014

If it feels this good getting used...

I thought this recent comment on an old post was an interesting perspective:

You act like ALL sociopaths are abusers. That ALL of them are born to hurt and kill. You don't even considered human. ERROR! The whole reason why I'm alive right know is a sociopath. I've had a terrible and abusive life, but because of many reasons my sociopath friend is interested in me. The moments I was about to kill my self he told me "No. Why do you want to die when you know me?" I tried explaining to him all the benefits my death would bring him, but he comely explained that all of it's short term, where me living would be long term. This may seem so terrible to you, but I have PTSD and it's not for me. To me I don't have anything good about me, I suck at everything. I only harm everyone I'm around. To him I'm full of opportunities to benefit him in some way. To him I'm useful. To him it's a game of seeing how long he can hug me before I flinch away because of sexual abuse that happened to me. Sure, his motives isn't like yours or anyone else because they have motive but it's enough to help save a life. How could someone be evil who's keeping me alive at this moment in time?

157 comments:

  1. So she's a sociopath's plaything. What happens when he gets bored with her?

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    1. First and foremost, before drawing your conclusion, it depends on how you "read" the recent comment.

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    2. That's exactly what she is_speaking as a "former plaything" :)

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    3. Damaged, consider this as well. What if she mistakenly thinks that he is a sociopath, due to abuse and ways of viewing people? After all, all of this is from her point of view. What if she would like him to be a sociopath, and he is not one? What if this is just her "impression," keeping in mind the PTSD and deep psychological impact, as well as the abuse that came before it?

      Overall, what if this entire comment is just her false impression or pre-conditioned ways of seeing close/intimate relationships, with everything being just in her head.

      "I tried explaining to him all the benefits my death would bring him..."

      Do you see what I mean? It is this person's way of thinking that is unfortunate, to say the least.

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    4. I think eventually she will mistakenly think that he's bored with her doesn't want her anymore.

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    5. Damaged, my opinion differs on this, since I don't think that he would no longer want her after some time - considering that he might love her, and that everything they experienced together created a strong bond.

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    6. If she truly believes that he's something that he's not, he doesn't matter. All that matters is what she believes.

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    7. One does his/her best- also applicable to these thoughts:

      http://art.brainpickings.org/post/72868563908/edith-windsor-on-love-and-what-equality-really

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  2. Your mind will heal. And when it does, you will look back and think...... the world works in strange ways. What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.

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  3. This person sounds like an abuse case. I mean not like most people here haven't endured abuse, even the sociopaths, but she/he would probably benefit more from a healthier relationship; learning boundaries, learning interpersonal skills, etc etc. The downside of course is PD's will probably always have the "darkside" to contend with even with pills and therapy, and interacting with normal people you always have to disguise that part of your personality, and interacting with PD's are the only people who get the "darkness". It's like a catch 22 because getting caught up in each other's world can get ugly, on the other end you're sometimes dying because normal people don't understand you.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. "normal people don't understand you."

      This was the crux of the problem when I was dating. The only people that I seemed to actually "connect" with were just as fucked up as me. It was the only sort of relationship that felt "not alien." Dating "normal" people was a frustrating experience.

      So, my solution was to try to make relationships with "fucked up people" work. And, it's not easy and it's not a sure thing, but, if you can reach a point where there is something that looks like mutual respect and both people are getting mileage out the relationship (and no one really feels "taken advantage of"). You can settle into something more or less stable - it can be a hell of a ride getting there though...

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    2. This is the closest I could find to the full clip I was looking for - it includes one of my favorite fight scenes, but it ends before the line I really wanted: "you can't really know someone until you fight them."

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRvxzdkj_YI

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    3. "...but, if you can reach a point where there is something that looks like mutual respect and both people are getting mileage out the relationship (and no one really feels "taken advantage of").

      Good point, HLHaller. I agree. However, who are you trying to be now?

      Delete
    4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G74XPn4F6_c

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  4. Does anyone else wanna shoot the "I'm not a robot" thing?

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    1. :) I like it in those rare times it does not require the verification step. I also liked it first because the prints used for verification were easier for me than the earlier system's prints.

      But, now that I'm forgetting how tough the former prints were I also feel like shooting the 'I'm not a robot' thing.

      I'm also getting curious what would a robot do if allowed or if there are indeed these robots that cannot wait to post here, lol.

      As the self-proclaimed Sociopathworld historian here I should add. There was a time somebody started posting long nonsense sentences talking about marrying Ukan and posting nonstop, not allowing you to post anything, you scrolling down and down and down, and there is no end or a chance to find the 'comment' section to begin, plus each conversation would be interrupted by these raging lunatic screaming posts that you just gave up.

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    2. lol someone really fell in love with someone on this thing ? :P:P That's like those chicks that fall in love with serial killers in prison..

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    3. :) Actually that person was probably one of the young ones that got badly harrassed by UKan that s/he was sabotaging UKan's kingdom in a bitchy/disguised way. Maybe Jason, maybe Erin (later called herself Monica).

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    4. @ Dr. G

      I like it. At least now I can make out the word it wants me to type more than a third of the time.


      @ Sceli

      Do you men Vegitopath, or something like that?

      Delete
  5. You are as disposible to him as anyone else. When you cross him, you will be
    ousted. He is NOT dependant on you. You are depedant on him.
    This may seem cruel, but you must gather all your courage together and kill
    yourself TODAY!
    What's better? Living another 30 years yearning for death, or doing the
    courageous thing and ending it now?
    Of course, you could undergo SYMBOLIC DEATH and emerge a "new" person,
    but only 00.1% have the courage to do that.

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    1. Avoid this sort of bullying. It can turn around and come back to bite you. You may have been just joking around but if the person indeed commits suicide and someone decides to come after you it won't take much for you to be found.

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    2. "Avoid this sort of bullying."

      Sceli | http://art.brainpickings.org/post/72868563908/edith-windsor-on-love-and-what-equality-really |

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    3. Anon, have the courage to stop posting these malicious things.

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  6. This post reminded me the video from the other day, where a lionese keeps a baby antelope as her plaything, not allowing the antelope join it skind for feeding.

    What happens to baby antelope is exactly what could happen to this person in the post who is so at the bottom that her best bet is to be nurtured by a sociopath?

    A bigger bad ass sociopath (could well be the same guy in a different mood one day) finishes her off, like a big male lion eating the baby antelope the minute the lionese was distracted.

    Seeking refuge in enslavement to a controlling/manipulating person is not a path to empowerment.

    If the video is too long for you watch the part after 4:30 to see the truth at the end as opposed to romanticization of what was happening in the beginning:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZw-1BfHFKM

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    1. "Seeking refuge in enslavement to a controlling/manipulating person is not a path to empowerment."

      Sceli, that is correct, and I really agree.

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  7. This kinda reminds me of Stockholm syndrome http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome

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    1. Yes, and this:
      http://www.cnn.com/2014/12/20/us/ray-rice-janay-rice-after-attack/index.html?hpt=hp_c2

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    2. I wonder what this person will do when their sociopath, who is in their eyes the only reason they are alive !!, dumps them. Can a socio be manipulated by direct or indirect threats of suicide?

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    3. DoctorSciFi | You must be having a bad day.

      https://soundcloud.com/brainpicker/joyce-carol-oates-nypl

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    4. I think the answer to both your questions is it depends, DsF. People can act heroic or tragic, who knows which one they'll pull off at any particular time. The disorder that'd probably the most responsice to suicide threats would be a narc, it sounds like a great narcissistic supply to say to a narc 'don't leave me, without you life has no meaning, I'll kill myself.'

      Do you have any answers to the questions you paused, or suspicions about the answers?

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    5. DoctorSciFi, perhaps this is a simpler question. Do you think other people view you as being BIPOLAR in their own minds according to their own criteria? None, 1, 2, 3 or more?

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    6. Sceli, I agree with you about narcs. No, I don't have suspicions about the answers. Presumably sociopaths can be manipulated although I wouldn't know how.

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    7. "Presumably sociopaths can be manipulated although I wouldn't know how."

      YOU wouldn't know how? Earth to DocSciFi: This is not the only comment you've made on this blog.

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    8. Well, I'm sure I'll pick some flags with this posting, but hey these are my truth.

      One great way to manipulate a sociopath is to play naive, innocent, unaware.

      Cause major inconveniences for the sociopath but act like none of that was intentional, you actually even have no idea about these inconveniences (and see how they are not willing to share or put themselves in a victim position voluntarily, while being quite pissed off about it).

      They just hate it when 'universe' or 'chance factor' plays against them (a sin they are not in full control) and there is no one there to blame.

      In these situations they are upset but they cannot turn their rage against you because that would be accepting the fact that maybe you are smarter, maybe you are gas-lighting them but that just cannot be, you are so naive and more importantly they are so smart.

      This, of course, works if you got something they want, otherwise you ar non-issue anyway.

      Don't ever appear like you know deep psychology around a sociopath, they'll act like they have no idea what you're talking about anyway.

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    9. Hi Sceli, well that was interesting;) thx.

      If some socios here want to comment on 'how to manipulate socios' -- that could be a refreshing change of pace.

      Let's say though that you have a specific objective -- that you want them to do or not do something specific but they see what they are doing or not doing as in their own best interest despite the effect it has on you or others.

      My guess is that it is a hopeless situation in that case unless one is willing to go over to the 'dark side'.

      Delete
    10. By the way, I had not heard of Michael Thompson before.

      When I started watching that you tube video first I felt this really strange fear, he sounded just like one of the socios who messed me up for a while (my very first time ever in a person I saw evil).

      Then I noticed later how he was able to justify all his actions heroically, getting everyone's admiration, while looking quite handsome and well-done with hair and everything.

      That guy is a high-functioning sociopath, it's dripping all over him. He's given us all the perfect reason (not necessarily the true reason) for going against the gang and toppling his best friend/major competition.

      He basically realized it was in his better interest to play the game on the side of the authorities. Very impressive.

      This tactic works so well in the USA, another form of born-again Christianity adoration. It would not surprise me if he could one day even become the President of the USA (I suggest this thought as a general idea not necessarily this particuar inmate).

      I'm impressed, what can I say. I'll follow what else he'll be able to gain for himself. He is one hot bloddy murderer.

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    11. To get them to do anything you want, you'd need to create a win-win situation and somehow make sure that it'll appear to be their idea.

      That, of course, is easier said than done. But, with an appearance of naivite and simply really wanting something you'll be amazed how much a socio would do for you, especially if it's no big deal/inconvenience for them. All of that is perceived as an investment to eventually control you, so they won't hold back. It really works, it's worked in a few occasions for me. The key is to always be naive, almost child-like stance, while being wanted by them or holding the key to potential current and/or future wants for them. This is almost the only strategy to assume, if the socio is one of your parents.

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    12. according to the description for https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7SofEzw81w you can write him at FreeMichaelThompson@gmail.com

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    13. :)

      Thank you for the info.

      That email address is offputting, though. I'd rather google his name occasionally than contacting him.

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    14. @Sceli FWIW, the National Geographic documentary featured an actor portrayal of Michael Thompson. The actor's last name is "French", from what I recall. This is mentioned in the credits in the original and was further discussed in posts @ prisonofficer.org and others.. Also, it's documented in a NY Times article, as well. If citations for sourcing this are incorrect, please let me know. I can post the links when I have more time, if interested.

      Delete
  8. What ever happened to Casey Anthony guy? I imagine he was single with thirteen cats, and he croaked in his one bedroom apartment, and now he's being eaten by his starving cats.

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    1. He was doing ME's horoscope and it said she was going to marry him. It was too much and overloaded his brain. He's been catatonic ever since.

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    2. Dr. Ginger, ask DoctorSciFi. He's the "expert" on Casey Anthony.

      Delete
  9. Well, hell, I'll go to the low ground then...

    (I'm getting over a cold, so I'm not firing on all cylinders -)

    In my less aware days I used to seek out damaged people to get involved with. To my mind it was a symbiotic relationship - I got my "emotional fix" (that whole vampire thing, cliché as it is, made sense to me at that time and I haven't really needed to come up with anything better - ).

    However, I would see the books as squared when they realized that they could move one. I would lay the groundwork for them to regard me as someone they had "outgrown." Then there would be a couple of tearful conversations and we move on. Tidy.

    It wasn't always tidy, but mostly it worked.

    @Dr. G: You left out the part were he died as the result of auto-erotic asphyxia. 8D~

    I'm still happy with the "I'm not a robot" thing - the last one would piss me off on a regular basis. This one doesn't seem anywhere as annoying...but maybe I just got more annoyed by it... 8)~

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    1. OK - now for the edits... (shaking head)

      "I got my emotional fix and I would take care of them and nurture them back to "health."

      "The books are squared...move ON"

      I think I'm ready for another shot of Nyquil...

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  10. The tweet reminds me of an interview I once saw with Michael Thompson of the Aryan Brotherhood. He broke from the gang as a result of a disagreement over a policy of killing family members of enemies.

    I'm sure I won't get the quote right, but it went more or less along the lines of, "I have no problem with violence towards people who understand it."

    I can't find it in myself to disagree with him.

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    1. “The tweet reminds me of an interview I once saw with Michael Thompson of the Aryan Brotherhood. He broke from the gang as a result of a disagreement over a policy of killing family members of enemies.

      I'm sure I won't get the quote right, but it went more or less along the lines of, "I have no problem with violence towards people who understand it."
      Since I will be immersed in this type of mentality soon, I researched the hell out of prison culture. It’s interesting their limits, and boundaries, and what they feel a sense of morality about. I always wonder how it evolves. Take Kuklinski for example. He would never hurt a child. They fell within his moral system, but his brother on the other hand, kidnapped a kid, and killed it. Since visiting this site I’ve been paying attention to what I feel a sense of morality about, and what I don’t. For example, I wouldn’t steal someone’s bike, but I wouldn’t think twice about putting a bullet in a politician’s head. Is it right? I don’t know, but it would be about shifting and changing sociopolitical dynamics which, if you look at human history, has little to do with morality.

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    2. Hi Dr. G.,

      See, my boundaries are a little different in that I could talk myself into stealing a bike or many other things. If I can convince myself that the person "deserves it," no problem - I might even enjoy it.

      I took advantage of a coworker who was moving on short notice - pennies on the dollar for some nice stereo equipment I will be flipping - just paid for xmas. But it was screwing him that really brought the smile to my face - I think he's an asshole. The best part was hearing the pain it caused him because, not only was he more or less giving it away, but it was to me - no love lost there. But a smile on my face. >8)~

      I used to grow pot (and I was REALLY good at it) - the only reason I shut that down was because I had kids and I didn't see how I could keep that going without lying to them - to me, that is wrong. The legality is only a problem because I can't rely on my kids not to understand the importance of not talking about it.

      As for politicians, most of them "deserve" a bullet to the head in my book. I agree with the historical aspect of it, but to my mind that's a by product of the act - moral or immoral. But again, it's my kids that are my primary concern, so I have to leave that sort of action to others. (I see "torches and pitchforks" in our future - it'll be interesting).

      I'm really curious to hear about what you learn from your patients. I know you won't be able to discuss an specifics, but I do expect you will form opinions that will be interesting to hear -

      Ma's taken the kids to see The Nutcracker - maybe I'll have another shot of Nyqiil and watch some TV...

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    3. yea...nother time and place I woulda been a violent revolutionary. I woulda done well in the French resistance.

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    4. "I don't have a problem, at all, with violence against those who understand what's it about. But I will not and cannot tolerate violence against children or women or elders in any capacity, in any shape, in any form."

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeGmARxsZTA

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    5. Thanks Damaged - I knew I wasn't get it quite right, but I think I was close enough. I enjoyed watching that again - interesting guy.

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  11. That actually sounds like a really risky situation. I've had a person tell me they were depressed and going to kill themselves before. I just laughed and said "I doubt it. See your stupid ass tomorrow." Which happened to work THAT time.

    Had this continued it's possible I could have pushed him further and further to that edge to see how far I could take him and bring him back. Or something similar.

    Wonder if that guy is still alive?

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  12. I'm not real. Try being not real. I guarantee you'll like it.

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    1. To be or not to be...

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    2. "Which happened to work THAT time."

      Baron, do doubt your "abilities" and perceptions.

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    3. SS, wow so psychopaths will try to play mind games with each other? Does that work?

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    4. Dr. G, do you think SS is a psychopath?

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    5. "SS, wow so psychopaths will try to play mind games with each other? Does that work?"

      Did anyone say mind games?!?

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    6. "Dr. G, do you think SS is a psychopath?"

      How should I answer my own question as DoctorSciFi?

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    7. Hmm, I know, I'm just going to pretend to be Dr. Ginger. Wink!

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    8. The real Dr. GingerDecember 20, 2014 at 8:01 PM

      lol this is so funny :P

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    9. "Dr. G, do you think SS is a psychopath?" I've thought it for a long time. These are what some of the games can look like.

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    10. Yeah. Is it theoretically possible for an aspie to also be a psychopath? On a different issue, what is your opinion of DID as a real rather than iatrogenic disease? It seems lots of people with that diagnosis have comorbid BPD.

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    11. Iatrogenic. Sorry, it's not real :/ Most DID's are actually borderlines.

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    12. "Is it theoretically possible for an aspie to also be a psychopath?" I'm still waiting for what the research shows. I posed the question to a group of professionals, and I had one "aspie" who was FURIOUS that he was being compared to psychopaths, and he couldn't see the similarities.

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    13. Yeah, that's how it starts. It's always that 1st game. And next thing you know BOOM! No kidding.

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    14. It's terribly repetitive though, that's why I think aspie too -- unless that's also a psychopath thing. I'm talking about an intelligent person so the lack of variability is not a given.

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    15. "On a different issue, what is your opinion of DID as a real rather than iatrogenic disease? It seems lots of people with that diagnosis have comorbid BPD."

      Let's see, DoctorSciFi, Ethical Nihilist, Baron, Anon as Casey Anthony and suicide/death "specialist"...Yeah. I can count FOUR DID personalities so far. What do you know, I'm getting up there!

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    16. jus so ya know, 8:20 wasn't me

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    17. That one "aspie" wasn't really FURIOUS. The more I think about it, I think that I misread the person. There's nothing to be furious about. Insightful people don't get mad about these things.

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    18. "jus so ya know, 8:20 wasn't me" I know. What can I say, it happens.

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    19. 8:37 isn't me either..ok I can SS is upset. Ima take a break for the night.

      Delete
    20. "It's terribly repetitive though, that's why I think aspie too -- unless that's also a psychopath thing."

      That's why I think bipolar about DocSciFi, unless that's also a psychopath thing.

      Delete
    21. "8:37 isn't me either..ok I can SS is upset. Ima take a break for the night."
      This wasn't me either. No, SS wouldn't be upset. People misread these things all the time. You can't tell much over the internet anyways.

      Delete
  13. Does anyone ever get these return labels in the mail from the Retarded Baby Foundation, not send them a donation, and then shamelessly use them? :P

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  14. You are all so full of shit.

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    1. Here I got something for you anon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qqY1oBilFU

      Delete
  15. I saw this really disgusting porn today. It was two old dudes doin a chick. It was disgusting. I sat through all 20 minutes of it too.

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    1. It can be fun to feel dirty. ;)

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    2. Dr. Ginger did no such thing. As it were, Dr. Ginger has an "alibi." Come to think of it, so does Damaged.

      Delete
  16. Get stapled.

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    1. Invalid Ethical Nihilist. That would be "unethical." See Groh v. Ramirez, 124 S. Ct. 1284 (2004)

      Delete
    2. "ss is back"

      ?

      Good point, D. Webb. See Groh v. Ramirez, 124 S. Ct. 1284 (2004), Anon.

      Delete
    3. Yes, good point indeed.

      Delete
    4. The Real Slim Shady (AKA HLH)December 20, 2014 at 5:00 PM

      I was passed out in a Nyquil haze - not an ambien haze. Looks like someone flushed out a bridge -

      Delete
    5. The Real Slim Shady (AKA HLH)December 20, 2014 at 8:11 PM

      "Looks like someone flushed out a bridge -" I know quite well that the Baron was the first to do so. "Inside secret."

      Delete
  17. There will always be "evil-doers" speaking in Dr. Ginger's name. What's to be said about them?

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    1. Evil-doers.

      Hi, D. Webb. I noticed you left several questions for me yesterday. Are you really curious about them still, if so I'll answer you let me know. I'm feeling really lazy to go back and forth. The one I remember is what genre I like reading. To my partial regret I just about exclusively read nonfiction starting with college years, mostly scientific, psychological, sociological, biographical, new language learning, how to write, etc . Not enough history, politics, or novels. How about you? What are you reading nowadays?

      D.Webb, the name, is that after the cute D Webb guy, the singer? Are you him or do you have a crush on him, or is your D Webb some other D Webb.

      Something tells me maybe you don't have a particular gender preference when it comes to romance. Do you?

      Did you think there is a chance Baron or I may be transgender, lol?

      Delete
  18. The last "Ethical Nihilist" was an impostor. In other words, an "Unethical Nihilist." Accept no imitations

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    1. The last "Ethical Nihilist" was an impostor. In other words, an "Unethical Nihilist." Accept no imitations

      Delete
    2. The last UN-Ethical Nihilist" was an impostor. In other words, an "ETHICAL NIHILIST." Accept no imitations

      Delete
  19. Obviously, North Korea has infiltrated our list.

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    1. Obviously, you could be one of the infiltrators, too, RA.

      Delete
    2. Hi Kimchi. I like it. You should use it as a name on here. :)

      Delete
  20. Ah, innocence is bliss..isn't it? This young plaything is so protective and sympathetic to the sociopathic prince in shining armor who has saved her! Hmm, I wonder what's in it for him, what does he get for saving the damsel in distress?

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    1. Former Plaything,

      This person has PTSD, in addition to having been sexually abused. Unless you are a victim of sexual abuse, unless you truly know and have communicated with a victim of sexual abuse, or unless you have really researched the issue in-depth, you cannot possibly understand what is really happening. Your comment demonstrates that you do not.

      Also, what if he loves her, and she cannot "see" that due to abuse and PTSD? My comment below explains some things, and poses some questions, that you need to understand and keep in mind when it comes to abused people and/or those suffering from PTSD. It is a very difficult thing, which cannot possibly be taken lightly or joked about in such ways.

      Delete
  21. I just responded to Damaged about this, but I believe that everyone reading this post, and comments in connection to it, should try to understand this side of it as well, since the thinking of abused individuals can be rather confusing. Due to abuse, and in this case PTSD, they don't always understand the reality of the situation, thinking and living a certain abusive pattern of behavior. Her partner wants to get close, but it might just be in her head - and, unfortunately, wanting it to be so, due to pre-conditioned thinking and abuse - that "To him it's a game of seeing how long he can hug me before I flinch away because of sexual abuse that happened to me." What if this is not even true? There might just be a disconnect between reality and abusive thinking/illusion.

    Damaged, consider this as well. What if she mistakenly thinks that he is a sociopath, due to abuse and ways of viewing people? After all, all of this is from her point of view. What if she would like him to be a sociopath, and he is not one? What if this is just her "impression," keeping in mind the PTSD and deep psychological impact, as well as the abuse that came before it?

    Overall, what if this entire comment is just her false impression or pre-conditioned ways of seeing close/intimate relationships, with everything being just in her head?

    "I tried explaining to him all the benefits my death would bring him..."

    Do you see what I mean? It is this person's way of thinking that is unfortunate, to say the least.

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    1. I agree with your observation, D Webb. Everything is relative, to someone who is at the end of a spectrum in one direction anyone to the other side will be quite similar to the other end of the spectrum. This person is far out on one side, and her English is not helping either for us to understand what exactly is going on.

      Delete
    2. D. Webb, that was just entirely too sane sounding. You're like Marilyn from the Munsters.

      Delete
    3. "Everything is relative, to someone who is at the end of a spectrum in one direction anyone to the other side will be quite similar to the other end of the spectrum."

      Sceli, can you explain what you mean at this point in your comment?

      Delete
    4. "D. Webb, that was just entirely too sane sounding."

      Dr. Ginger, my comment gives some insight into reality. Do you fully understand my point?

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    5. D. Webb, do you have a sense of humor? Just wondering. Are you able to pick up on tongue-in-cheekiness? Satire? Black humor? I mean not everyone is, so no judgments.

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    6. and how do you know it's "reality"...has SS been resurrected?

      Delete
    7. Dr. Ginger,

      There is a time for humor, and then, there is a time for seeing the reality of a situation. See, there are some people that tend to circumvent some issues, continuing to live in a state of illusion, which is unfortunate for them.

      But see, that is just the problem here. I don't joke about the things that I have discussed, and I never find them humorous.

      "Are you able to pick up on tongue-in-cheekiness? Satire? Black humor? I mean not everyone is, so no judgments."

      Am I able to understand humor? See, there is a disconnect here in your thinking and questions that you have posed. I understand it quite well, and I engage in it, when it is appropriate to do so. This was certainly not one of those times. But, no, definitely, there are no judgments here on my part.

      And by the way, I have been told by others that I have a great sense of humor.

      Delete
    8. "has SS been resurrected?"

      It's alive! It's alive!!

      Delete
    9. Whatever SS I'm not responding to you anymore.

      Delete
    10. "and how do you know it's "reality"?"

      Well, that takes some in-depth reading, observation, learning/research, along with making the right connections.



      Delete
    11. "Whatever SS I'm not responding to you anymore."

      Should I start sharpening the pommels of my.....?



      Delete
  22. Soooooo does anyone else think Park Dietz is a prosocial? :D

    ReplyDelete
  23. "Can the Cereal Killer cafe, which sells only cereal, really make a killing?" http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2014/dec/09/cereal-killer-cafe-london-breakfast

    ReplyDelete
  24. D. WebbDecember 20, 2014 at 6:47 PM
    "Everything is relative, to someone who is at the end of a spectrum in one direction anyone to the other side will be quite similar to the other end of the spectrum."

    Sceli, can you explain what you mean at this point in your comment?

    I can explain with height. Shortest guy in one end and the tallest guy in the other. Someone in the middle will be assed as a tall person by the shortest guy and as a short person by the tallest guy.

    So if uber-empath is in one end (suffering everybody's emotions) and sociopath in the other end (not suffering any emotions) someone in the middle will apear quite sociopathic to the uber-empath and quite empathic to a sociopath.

    That research the other day where empathic psychologists were quicker to categorize people as psychopaths is in line with this relative assessment too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "So if uber-empath is in one end (suffering everybody's emotions) and sociopath in the other end (not suffering any emotions) someone in the middle will apear quite sociopathic to the uber-empath and quite empathic to a sociopath."

      While I don't mean to disagree about this topic/your comment, in my opinion, it is hard to conclude as you have done without performing further research, or without the availability of additional findings.

      "Someone in the middle will be assed as a tall person..."

      This is exactly what I meant. You would need additional findings. I can assure you.

      Delete
    2. "assed" to "assessed" - That was a bit of a stretch there. I can assure you of it.

      Delete
    3. That's funny... :) I'm with you. Maybe that was a Freudian slip.

      Delete
    4. Leopoldstädter Kommunal-Realgymnasium

      Delete
    5. :) That's where he slipped? In the shower?

      You're hilarious. Or, I am in your presence. Either way, it's fun.

      Delete
    6. You make me love my aspie traits...

      Delete
    7. Your interpretation was different, but thanks for thinking that I am hilarious. Also, I didn't mean to imply anything negative about your aspie traits. Really.

      Delete
    8. :)

      I didn't think you did.

      I'm a bit not following. Do you suggest below that 10:20 was not me? It was me. Here was my interpretation:

      I said Freudian slip. You gave me the name of the school Freud attended. I thought if we took that as a literal slip it's not me it's Freud who had the Freudian slip. From there went to slipping in the school.

      See, how big an aspie I can be?

      Why did you bring up the school he attended?

      Delete
    9. Sceli, see my response further down the page. It wasn't intentional at all. :)

      Delete
  25. It sure looks to me like some recent rains have washed Smartie out from under it's bridge -

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm lost on this whole SS thing. I guess it has to do with my not being failiar with the recent history of SW. Pick me up if it can be done w/o much effort.

      Delete
    2. You need to re-adjust your vision (of course, aside from the current knowledge that you have, the name NEO carries high symbolism).

      Need I say more, HLHaller?

      Delete
    3. In awe of your pride...

      Delete
    4. CONGRATULATIONS HLHallerDecember 21, 2014 at 8:33 AM

      Yes, HLHaller, actually "owning" your name, so to speak, does raise you up from underneath the proverbial bridge.

      Delete
    5. All I want for Christmas is to eat up the delicious doc. Merry Ho Ho everyone. Mammas been busy spoiling spoiling... Santa man is gunna spank me this season for all my naughtiness. I'd spank ya all if I could and feed you up good. :) ;)

      Delete
    6. wetgirl,

      This is not the Kommunal-Realgymnasium that Sceli ("the in disguise version") thought of in the comment at 10:20 AM.

      Delete
  26. Leopoldstädter Kommunal-Realgymnasium - The high school that Freud attended.

    "Maybe that was a Freudian slip."

    In other words, I expected more (a higher level) as a reply in this instance.

    That was all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :) Aren't we demanding?

      Delete
    2. Sceli, Do you still feel this way after reading my comment at 4:38 PM? :)

      Delete
    3. If I put a

      :)

      that means there may be some truth in what I'm saying but I have no hard feelings (or I am not upset) in any way.

      I honestly have pretty much decided you are not the kind of person that would upset me easily. In other words, I'd give you the benefit of the doubt no matter what you say and I'd simply try to understand by asking again.

      You are like me (maybe even more strict) in that you like to stay focused and serious when there is a task on hand, you have no add or a different kind of add, and you don't like to joke around or block someone with sarcasm when debating an issue. I like these about you.

      Delete
    4. add....> attention deficit disorder

      Delete
    5. "I honestly have pretty much decided you are not the kind of person that would upset me easily. In other words, I'd give you the benefit of the doubt no matter what you say and I'd simply try to understand by asking again."

      Thank you, Sceli. I will do the same for you. :)
      [This :) means that I truly meant what I just said, and that I smiled as I typed it].

      "You are like me (maybe even more strict) in that you like to stay focused and serious when there is a task on hand, you have no add or a different kind of add, and you don't like to joke around or block someone with sarcasm when debating an issue. I like these about you."

      Yes, this is all true, and thank you for the compliment.



      Delete
  27. Sceli, you think of yourself as an aspie? I do not get that vibe from you at all. You are so bang on about sociopaths in so many of your posts. You spoke about anger being useful to discover your inner self. You spoke about how to undo the sociopath's game. And how to make use of their particular skills. It seems to me that you are very insightful. Or at least what you say resonates with me. I thought aspies were very much less aware of social cues and attitudes. I'd love it if you could say more about yourself and how you got to where you are with respect to understanding sociopaths.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Up until 26 yrs old I honestly thought that everyboy must be thinking just like me and that any difference in behavior was due to IQ difference not attitude or personality. Everyone was honest, obedient, in morally high ground in my mind.

      Then came a period of major confusion, and I had to read like crazy, really get into psychology to figure out what was going on what all the little things that were off in me.

      So, looking back yes, absolutely I see a high functioning asperger in my first 20 years, even now. Amazing thing is because I always put forward my best effort for people and helped out whenever I can (academically) people (kids in school) were never mean to me, they protected me.

      I also see major narc tendencies developed in my 30s (the environment almost required it).

      Then I saw evil first time when I was in my thirties in a socio. Not evil as in physical harm or anything, but serious psychological pushing around, gaming. Took me a year to figure outwhat was going on and I got out, as hard as it was, as much as I was in love with this person I could tell I had to get out, and I did. I did meet a social worker afterwards (only two sessions) and I do remember her remark on how quick I was in recovering from this guy (she heard all the stories and she was sure he was a socipath).

      So, yes, I think I am a high IQ aspie with capacity for cognitive empathy when relating to situations I've never been in or near and very high emotional empathy when relating to situations similar to those I've been in.

      I'm working on eliminating my narc traits and judgmental orientation, but it's not easy.

      Delete
    2. Just to clarify. I was not quick to recover from this guy in the sense of emotional let go. I was quick in recovery in terms of complete physical isolation and not letting him get close anymore. He sure tried. It was lucky that I was in the process of moving to another town--1000 miles away.

      Delete
    3. Hmmm. I've been thinking since writing the above remarks on emotional empathy. All I maybe saying is that it's hard for me what people would feel in circumstances I've never been in. And, for circumstances I've been in (where I know the emotions) I'm automatically projecting the same feelings to people who share the same experience. Maybe empathy means willing ness to do that for another eprson, because how on earth can you really feel exactly what others are going through. What's humiliation to some is definitely not so to some other. Some are very sad losing a parent, some are very happy. How can you know? It's all projection maybe. Like do unto others as they would have them to you?

      Who knows... Anyone with empathy care to explain both the source and nature of their empathy?

      Delete
    4. "All I maybe saying is that it's hard for me what people would feel in circumstances I've never been in."

      This is alright, since empathy is the most advanced of all communication skills. It can be just a matter of adapting. Empathy is also a skill that can be developed and, as with most interpersonal skills, empathizing (at some level) can be worked on.

      This might answer your question, and help you see things from a different perspective, too. My point has to do with imagination. I can see that you have a strong and active imagination, and I have truly seen it in your comments. In addition to effective communication, good powers of imagination are needed and great to have in order to empathize with others.

      Each one of us views the world differently, according to their experiences, up-bringing, culture, religion, opinions and beliefs. In order to empathize with another person, you need to see the world from their perspective and to use some imagination as to what their perspective is based on, how they see the world, and why they see it differently from you. Many people find it easier to empathize with people who are closer to them and have more shared experiences and views. Empathy is intuitive for the most part, but it is also something that you can definitely work on, intellectually. I think that you would do really well if you would use your strong and developed imagination when finding yourself in situations you have not experienced before.


      Delete
    5. Thenk you, D. Webb.

      Delete
    6. Thank you for sharing, sceli. You sound like an amazing person. Mmm perhaps this is not helping with the narc tendencies. It sounds like the sociopath in your life when you were in your 30s had a great influence on you. He probably opened your mind to a very new way to look at people. I wonder if to this day you resent having been through the ordeal you describe or if you think it made you a better person. By better i mean stronger or better able to adapt or happier or any other positive attribute...

      Delete
    7. That's so kind of you to say. Thank you.

      I believe I am an amazing person, but I learned to believe everybody is an amazing person, in that sense this sort of belief is not really a part of the narc traits.

      Self-love is important, and it's not a narcissistic trait unless you fail to see your weaknesses at the same time along with others' strengths in areas you may or many not care for.

      To me amazing people are those who try hard to live in the truth, and that's exact opposite of a narc. I was never that bad, thanks to my aspie side. Aspie cannot live in conscious lies. It's the subconscious lies that may get an aspie, and it's the subconscious I try hard to connect to.

      A narc lives in an idealized state (in his/her imagination) and looks down on everyone else to feel elevated himself/herself. I was never like that, in all fairness I may be more guilty of over-confidence than being a narc. It was more like 'others don't stand a chance anyway, so I only compete with myself' kind of narcissistic trait in me--pretty bad, no? And, to top it off I'd choose to compete in all the idealistic attributes (never money or tangible bs). You see, even that just is not peaceful. It's one thing to improve over time but one should never compete with the self. Just the recognition of that is huge, meaning being able to recognize when you are competing with yourself. Thank God, I try not to do that anymore.

      Instead I started normalizing by competing some with neurotypicals in money-making and asset-gathering, evening out the playing field. Because my aspie and self-targeted narc combo was really making me fall behind (not much, but still). I'm one best-seller away from that normalization (this one is a joke, but still, may come true...) Pray for that if you care for me.

      Delete
    8. I'm trying to decide if that was the love sociopath (the guy I mentioned already) or the second sociopath in my life (the career sociopath, who hit me a few years later) that really opened my eyes. I'd have to say the second one. THe reason I say that is the love socio was not the kind of guy I'd have married anyway, meaning I lost love but not the kind of love my entire system was accepting. Whereas my career was my heart and soul, and I thought I'd forever be in it. Once the socio inflitrated I lost respect in the whole system for allowing socios like this guy thrive. So, really that was a wake-up call. And, yes, absolutely, that turned into a what didn't kill me made me a better person kind of story.

      I don't resent either of these socios as I feel I still got the last word in both cases. I feel I was a better person than these two. They are the types who have a hard-time falling asleep at night, not me. Oh, by the way the love socio occasionally contacts me (long distance) and says how much I meant. I have to say a part of me is tempted to call him a socio, but I don't. If not already read the stuff on how to break up with a socio. I think I did a great job when I was breaking up. I did not give him any reason to believe that I was suffering. I played it very cool, and suffered like hell in privacy. He was not made a monster by me, despite the fact that I believed and still believe he is one. He probably is thinking I'm the only woman he couldn't destroy, lol. He did destroy a lot in me, he just doesn't know it.

      And, yes, I am happier, and a much stronger person psychologically after these two socios. In a way I wish the order was different, that I met the career socio in my 30s and the other in my 40s. Hmmm, come to think of it that really would've been lovely.

      Delete
    9. Yeah, all this stuff I posted before is made up. My head is just doing it's own thing of make pretend, like now...lol..Right, OldAndWise? Oops I'm talking to myself again. Nobody saw that? And I'm Dr. Ginger too..Didn't see that coming, did you?

      Delete
  28. Sceli, I understood what you meant by the literal slip, and now, I can see how you saw Freud himself slipping, which can be another possibility. Yes, I can see the aspie in you. :)

    (As a side note, I am glad that it didn't mean the following, specifically pertaining to a commentator here: "Someone in the middle will be assed as a tall person..." since it was Leopoldstädter Kommunal-Realgymnasium, a communal high school inside a communal gymnasium - "That's where he slipped? In the shower?")

    Why did I initially bring up the school he attended? Well, the thought just popped into my head, and as I explained below, I referred to a specific level of thinking. What's more, I related that to a couple of other comments, but there is no point in delving into that aspect of it at the moment. You see, to me, some ideas and their underlying meaning can be seen as interconnected. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, you do make different kind of interconnections and it must be very nonlinear (can't think of a better word to use) that you're even having a hard time explaining. That's ok, I like the challenge that comes from trying to understand you.

      Delete
    2. Sceli,

      Let's put the Freudian comments behind us, and move ahead from here. :)

      As to my thinking, it depends on the situation. But, true, I do make interconnections.

      Delete
  29. "...that you're even having a hard time explaining."

    Not at all.

    ReplyDelete
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