Friday, December 19, 2014

There are no bad people

I have finally started watching Homeland, am in the second season so no spoilers in the comments. It's obviously an engaging show but I also find myself wondering not just whether it is an accurate depiction of bipolar disorder but what elements of the character are bipolar and what elements of the character are just who that person is. Like if the person gets sad over something that happened I wonder, is that how bipolar people act? Am I meant to think that this character is being histrionic? Or over emotional? Or is this supposed to be "normal" behavior?

Similarly, I think the sort of wholesale ignorance that people have about sociopaths leads them to believe all sorts of things about how the disorder must play out in the every day lives of sociopaths. Some think that we're supermen, some absolute villains, some think we're absolutely two faced and nothing truthful ever comes out of our mouths. I just don't believe that such caricatures of humanity exist. I was watching clips of Frozen this weekend with my little relatives. I don't believe the villain prince in that movie exists -- someone who is just nice and unassuming and then turns out to be absolutely two-faced and everything he did (even the nice stuff like handing out blankets to townspeople) was all for some nefarious purpose. I just don't believe that particular type of person exists.

I thought about that when I read via Brain Pickings "Dostoyevsky on Why There Are No Bad People":

We are all good fellows — except the bad ones, of course. Yet, I shall observe in passing that among us, perhaps, there are no bad people at all — maybe, only wretched ones. But we have not grown up to be bad. Don’t scoff at me, but consider: we have reached the point in the past where, because of the absence of bad people of our own (I repeat: despite the abundance of all sorts of wretches), we used to be ready, for instance, to value very highly various bad little fellows appearing among our literary characters, mostly borrowed from foreign sources. Not only did we value them, but we slavishly sought to imitate them in real life; we used to copy them, and in this respect we were ready to jump out of our skins.
***
We used to value and respect these evil people … solely due to the fact that they appeared as men of solid hate in contradiction to us Russians, who, as is well known, are people of very fragile hate, and this trait of ours we have always particularly despised. Russians are unable to hate long and seriously, and not only men but even vices — the darkness of ignorance, despotism, obscurantism and all the rest of these retrograde things. At the very first opportunity we are quick and eager to make peace… Please consider: why should we be hating each other? For evil deeds? — But this is a very slippery, most ticklish and most unjust theme — in a word, a double-edged one… Fighting is fighting, but love is love… We are fighting primarily and solely because now it is no longer a time for theories, for journalistic skirmishes, but the time for work and practical decisions.
***
A true friend of mankind whose heart has but once quivered in compassion over the sufferings of the people, will understand and forgive all the impassable alluvial filth in which they are submerged, and will be able to discover the diamonds in the filth.
***
Judge [the people] not by those villainies which they frequently perpetrate, but by those great and holy things for which they long amidst the very villainy. Besides, the people are not composed of scoundrels only; there are also genuine saints — and what saints! They themselves are radiant and they illuminate the path for all of us!
***
Somehow, I am blindly convinced that there is no such villain or scoundrel among the Russian people who wouldn’t admit that he is villainous and abominable, whereas, among others, it does happen sometimes that a person commits a villainy and praises himself for it, elevating his villainy to the level of a principle, and claiming that l’ordre and the light of civilization are precisely expressed in that abomination; the unfortunate one ends by believing this sincerely, blindly and honestly.
***
Judge [people] not by what they are, but by what they strive to become.

No wonder Dostoyevsky is so popular amongst the sociopathic crowd.

94 comments:

  1. Another way of saying it is "Forgive them for they know not what they do."
    Nobody can operate above their comprehensive level.
    Still, it's very difficult to be called to the mourge to identify the remains of your
    only child.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The psychopath is denied his individuality: he´s a "collective" and they´re all bad! No "harmless" psychopaths exists, such as a cute old granny or a slightly naughty child with no murderous intention whatsoever. If a socio did some risky stuff to save somebody from a fire, this action can only be explained by the fact that psychopaths "mellow" with age, and that particular hero was in a "mellowing phase"..

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  3. I find myself running into a bad line of thinking when I start playing the absolutist labeling game...

    If I'm already guilty of the crime just for being me...then why not commit it?

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    1. That plus possibly imitating the far out versions of the label, meaning upping the crime.

      Delete
  4. I don't think that I'm a sociopath. and I don't care! I simply don't care anymore. well no one knows for sure if he's a sociopath but still, I just don't care anymore. I like me. I like who I am and I like what I have cause I'm the best. I learn to be better everyday and even I learned alot here!

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    Replies
    1. Baron, you wrote a bit about wanting to tell others about your sociopathy when you became self-aware. I didn't get a picture of what your own reaction, feelings, thoughts etc. were about it -- beyond that. Why is it a plague of a question?

      Delete
    2. Encore, why did a plague of a question come to mind?

      Delete
    3. tessa / Rhyme | Can you tell me one thing that you've learned today? |

      Delete
    4. lol, D. Webb. Are you a professor?

      You sure like pointed questions, I do too.

      So, I second... Rhyme, any new learning today? Or, further enrichment of what was learned earlier?

      In return, I'll volunteer to something I learned today:
      Lighting candles lifts up my spirits when the skies are dark.

      Delete
    5. Sceli | I could have been a professor, and really liked it - long term. | What I also like quite a lot is studying people. Besides, pointed questions can be intriguing to explore from time to time.

      "Lighting candles lifts up my spirits when the skies are dark." Pleasant.

      And I, in turn, would like to say: I love candles, especially when one gets downtime. In those immersing moments, I can actually breathe seeing the flame flicker continuously with the lights off.

      Delete
    6. :)

      D. Webb,

      Are we flirting?

      Are you an innie or an outie, as RA would say...

      Delete
    7. I've been working on an apt metaphor. I'm assuming it's something like knowing you're something other than what's on the surface. Like a transgendered person. You're told and taught all your life that the world is a certain way when it belies all of your own experiences.

      Then, one day you wake up. Whether it be your friend tells you that you might be different or you find a book that unlocks your truer nature.

      "Coming down from that mountain" it's hard not to sing out your realization. That you're not what others have convinced you you're beholden to so matter of fact.

      But you can't sing. There's no operation for sociopaths.

      Delete
    8. BKvS4,

      The fact that there is no operation means you're there already. Whan a transgender wakes up with an innie yet wanting an outie or vice versa, there's so much to be done hormonally.

      You, on the other hand woke up to be a sociopath and whoaa there you are.

      What's your problem? You'd rather be histrionic?

      Delete
    9. I meant that there's no way to make sociopathy acceptable to your peers. You're transgendered, you get the surgery and you move on.

      At least they can find harmony eventually. :P

      Delete
    10. That sure sounds like something a sociopath would say.

      Delete
    11. Thank you is fine. I was just observing your inability to empathize with a transgender.

      No one needs to worry about making his/her peers accept who they are. That's the least of a transgender's problem, the very first and very important problem a transgender has is living in a prison of a gender he or she isn't. We're not just talking psychology here, we're talking biology, we're talking sociology.

      You think an empath would care if a sociopath is having a problem being accepted by his peers? You think a sociopath would care about another sociopath's problem of not being accepted by his peers?

      I'd say: Get over yourself. You're on a site, as sympathetic to you as it gets. Take it. Toughen up, enjoy the fact that a socio is only more powerful when he couldn't care less about anybody else thinks.

      Delete
    12. Your last two paragraphs don't really compute. I'm assuming these were emotionally charged? It might be the word "care" honestly.

      Ha. And power? I relinquish mine when I talk candidly about this. Are you yourself transgendered? Or know someone that is? I wasn't trying to minimalize their struggle by any means. Just to relate. Thought that was the point here...connection?

      Delete
    13. I was trying to inspire you, lol...

      Delete
    14. Your last paragraph sounded just like the young guy talking to the old guy in Breaking Bad...

      Delete
    15. Baron | Presently, I am just trying to understand this conversation that took place earlier in a more clear way. Why did you bring up the transgender issue, and why did you ask Sceli about it? Can you possibly expand on your ideas in connection to my questions? In other words, what exactly made you think of it? |

      Delete
    16. "I was just observing your inability to empathize with a transgender."

      Sceli | What made you think so about Baron? I am not quite sure at this point, and I am just wondering whether he brought up this issue in connection to you for some reason? Again, I am sure that you can tell that I am just being curious about this exchange between you and Baron. I am by no means implying anything about either one of you in this conversation. |

      Delete
    17. "Are we flirting?

      Are you an innie or an outie, as RA would say..."

      Sceli | The exchange was about flickering candles, and how they make me feel. :) |

      Delete
    18. Making yourself fit in a definition, I mean believing you're that definition, just holds you back. I am a sociopath. I meant I won't be thinking about it. cause it holds me back. it makes me believe I can't..
      It's more and deeper and that. but anyway
      and by learning I meant how to "know" my self and "control" myself. :) as a socio. and also, other things. :)

      Delete
  5. I don't think I'll ever have the quoted question below that Dostoyevsky asked himself five years before his death, is that good or is that bad?

    "I am interested only in the question: is it, or is it not, good that I have pleased everybody?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sceli | Whether it's the expression or underlying meaning of it, what do you mean when you write "I don't think I'll ever have the quoted question..."? |

      http://art.brainpickings.org/post/71234628224/anais-nin-on-life-diary-excerpts-selected-by

      Delete
    2. I meant I doubt that I'll ever strive to and/or achieve to (whichever suits the reader) please 'everybody,' plus unlike his self-assessment I'd never make a statement that says I have pleased everybody. I'm too literal for that.

      Thank you for your postings related to encouragement/freedom to do what we want to do creatively. Not done with all yet, but going through them.

      Delete
    3. This as well, Sceli | continued |

      https://soundcloud.com/brainpicker/anai-s-nin-reads-from-her-diary

      Delete
  6. http://www.brainpickings.org/2014/05/16/anne-lamott-people-pleasing-haters-trolls/

    ReplyDelete
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    1. “The main thing is to be satisfied with your work yourself. It’s useless to have an audience happy if you are not happy.”

      http://bookpickings.brainpickings.org/post/97347350874/the-creative-experience-why-and-how-do-we

      Delete
    2. D. Webb, I find the discussion on acts of creation creates a sense of peace in me. it's a good posting. You seem to favour brainpickings... Can you say a bit on what brings you to sociopathworld?

      About the back and forth yesterday on schizophrenia and AsPD/sociopathy/psychopathy (I don't want to delve into the differences to the extent they exist), I am a bit struck by the fact I've seen so little discussion of this. I guess it makes sense though.

      Schizophrenia advocates have concerns that schizophrenics are seen as violent, dangerous individuals. Indeed the statistics point unambiguously to an increased rate of violent crime although the vast majority of schizophrenics never act violently. It seems that the subset of those that do are much more likely to have high PCL-R scores than those that don't. (I ran across a paper on that recently). When I write 'it seems' it means that I don't take it as a fact, but something I came across that might stand the test of time...

      Since schizophrenia is also a maligned disease and psychopath already makes people think of pscyho="crazy" it also makes sense that advocates for sociopaths.. would not want to talk about their schizophrenic compatriots.

      Anyhow, this is my impression at the moment. What do you think?

      Delete
    3. "D. Webb, I find the discussion on acts of creation creates a sense of peace in me."

      DoctorSciFi | This is a really good thing, and I am glad that you like being creative. As you wrote, in many instances, it can have a rather peaceful effect on an individual.

      Studies do show that a great number of schizophrenics do not act violently. There are many sources pointing to this specific finding, and I was able to find them. The ones that do act violently are more likely to have a co-morbid disorder leading to such behaviors. As you also mentioned, it only seems that way, and not taking it as a fact makes a lot of sense.

      Your impression about the last point seems to be right, and that is because some people do not see or understand the differences between the two, as well as the manner in which they manifest.

      Delete
  7. AM I A SOCIOPATH OR NOTDecember 19, 2014 at 10:08 AM

    ME writing on June 26, 2012
    About this season every year I have a period of introspection and self doubt. Sometimes I wonder if I believing I am a sociopath is a self-fulfilling prophecy, or distorts the way I see me in the world. Recently I've been questioning again what I am doing writing this blog or believing that I am a sociopath, whatever that means. I watch myself interact with others and think, is this what a sociopath would do? Have I been living a lie these past few years? It just seems like such a bizarre thing to believe this about oneself, bizarre even to believe that sociopaths exist and aren't just some random assortment of personality traits that occur together solely by chance. I am sure I never will stop asking myself these questions, but when I read stories like Anna's and see all of the incredible parallels to my own life, including small details or other things I couldn't have known or whose existence in my life predate any awareness of what the term "sociopath" meant, I am just floored. It's not necessarily the life I would have chosen for myself given an infinite number of options and I sometimes wonder at the improbability of who I am, who I turned out to be, but I really am ok with it. More than ok, I'm happy.


    UKanJune 26, 2012 at 10:13 AM
    I've never cared if M.E. was a sociopath or not. This place has been great because of the people it has attracted here at the end of the day. In the years being here there has been very very very few sociopaths, but they all left their mark. The rest have been so much fun to interact with. Borderlines, narcissists, people with aspergers, depressed losers, bipolar people, and of course victims.

    This place transformed into something. People would wonder if they were a sociopath and get dropped into a shark tank where psychopaths and other callous individuals are at each other's throats and people would have to use charisma and skills in manipulation to stay above water. I remember one guy, Randy (Luke), said that there was no way we could figure out who he was just by talking to him on here. A week later all of the regulars were competing in who could find more information on this guy and what they would do with it. He ended up leaving because his family was being attacked by people here. That was all because he lied to us.

    There's a graveyard of delusions shattered in the comment section. A lot of people have discovered something about themselves here. Rarely has it been that they were a sociopath, but they found how they fit into the world regardless. Some people have followed this blog for years just for entertainment.

    Reply
    Replies

    MeeJune 26, 2012 at 10:43 AM
    Nice story (I mean it) :)
    But I really don't see the shark tank here, what could possibly go wrong in a comment section as long as you have your own opinion? :|


    UKanJune 26, 2012 at 11:15 AM
    Maybe we can all turn on you and show you.


    MeeJune 26, 2012 at 12:42 PM
    Should I be afraid?

    Reply

    UKanJune 26, 2012 at 10:22 AM
    I never doubted I was a sociopath from the minute I read the definition. Before I would call people like me "manipulators" and I would run into them now and again in my line of work. That's how I defined myself. A manipulator.

    It wasn't just the manipulation, it was the destruction that I've caused and the violence. The life I lead and lead for others has never been inside the boundaries of law. It didn't start anywhere and it has never ended. My whole life has been me and trouble on the rise or plummeting taking everyone around me with me. I guess it was easier for me not to doubt because the demonized version of the psychopath that they write about in books is me.

    They say that therapy never helped psychopaths and I can see why that is. This blog stepped me into third person where I can see outside myself at who I really am absent of delusions. Did I pull myself into the right side of the law? No. I became even better at breaking it.

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  8. As I explained yesterday, the word "evil" has no objective meaning in the same manner that we all know what "gravity" means when we are falling out of a tall building watching the ground approach or "death" means as we watch our blood bleed out after some sociopath has stuck a knife into us. You might think, "That's certainly "evil" or "bad" or "wicked" but those are just thought waves coming out of your brain (and that's assuming you have a brain and even more dubiously assuming that you have intelligent, intelligible thoughts issuing from your so-called "brain."

    Perhaps you should think carefully about the possibility you have no brain before you open your pie hole and prove it. Oh, you can't hear anything on the Internet. Perhaps you should think carefully about proving you can't think before you put your fingers on your keyboard and issue pixels that demonstrate beyond the possibility of a doubt that you have no brain. Obviously, I have no brain. Learn from my example and shove your head up your ass and keep it there.

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    1. YOU got me, man. Just as I was about to write you have ne brain, you said it yourself.

      What I don't get it is why don't you listen to your own advice for people with no brain and 'shove your head up your ass and keep it there?'

      Curious minds want to know, you know.

      Delete
    2. Anon S: As I am "conversing" with a person far more intelligent and perceptive than I am, I will confess I am waiting for you to demonstrate to me how to "shove my head up my ass and keep it there." As we live in the age of YouTube, I am hoping that you can make video demonstrating how it's done. Thought tastefully, so it doesn't violate YouTube's "Good Taste" (or whatever they call it) rules and conditions. As I just had my toilet back up (our plumbing is kind of fucked after the last big windstorm) I just spent some time contemplating my shit before I managed to get our toilet to flush. I considered sticking my head in their but chickened out. I tried to imagine what your head looks like (is it cute?) and tried to imagine it bobbing around among the turds. Hold that thought, my friend.

      Delete
  9. This one, in particular, is a favorite of mine: http://art.brainpickings.org/post/71234628224/anais-nin-on-life-diary-excerpts-selected-by

    This has a "weaving" concept to it, which works rather well for me: http://art.brainpickings.org/post/71234600719/anais-nin-on-life-diary-excerpts-selected-by

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  10. Sceli | Thank you for clarifying that, and it does make sense according to your thinking.

    Creative freedom is what makes me quite happy - that and the true, in-depth meaning of these words:

    http://art.brainpickings.org/post/72868563908/edith-windsor-on-love-and-what-equality-really

    http://art.brainpickings.org/post/71234567350/the-geography-series-henry-david-thoreau-on-the |

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    Replies
    1. Wow, the first one is an amazing love story. The notion to care about quality of someone else's life as much as quality of your own life is such an ambitious notion to define love. Of course, I must be reading this literally and putting more meaning into it than the woman really meant, but that's what I do.

      It's very hard to target well your own quality of life, so I guess if you suck in that you may as well suck in the other person's and as long as intentions are there and the ambition is both ways and you both can suck (remember coming from the mouth of someone who's trying to let go perfectionism, hence we all typically suck in these assesments) you can live happily with someone.

      I think this ties into people's disorders matching. That's one research I'd love to see, like a horoscope romantic match: disorder-based romantic match.

      I'd be very happy in a long term relationship with a schizoid who is creative and asexual. But, no such person could possibly imagine that I'd value that so the chances are we're not meeting.

      For a short term and just in passing kind of relationship I'd go for a BPD or a socio, not because I target them but because I'm definitely a magnet for them, and I would not say no (assuming all basics are there, of course).

      So, I really am curious any thoughts on disorder-based long term romantic relationship matches?

      Delete
    2. And, the second one has this line:

      “Not till we are lost, in other words not till we have lost the world, do we begin to find ourselves, and realize where we are and the infinite extent of our relations.”

      I've been there...

      Delete
    3. Sceli | You are asking about disorder-based romantic matches, and I can see where your thoughts are stemming from, given the threads of comments I have read. While I can see your point, I have a different way of seeing a romantic relationship, naturally and/or involuntarily leaving out the disorder thoughts when contemplating it. A person, or a couple, is so much more than a given disorder or disorders, and the relationship between them is an extension of that, existing on its own. I like looking beyond that, and if you think more about it, I can see how you might see this, too. It happens automatically in my mind/being, though.

      "But, no such person could possibly imagine that I'd value that so the chances are we're not meeting."

      You would not value such person, or did you mean something else?

      Also, are you seeking or contemplating a short-term or a long-term relationship? Having read your entire comment, I have thought about this as well. |

      Delete
    4. Sceli | I re-read that part of your comment, and I believe that I understand what you meant. It is not that you would not value the person. I think that you are referring to the relationship in itself, as well as its credibility factor, or its lasting potential from the point of view of another person. Can you talk a bit more about your meaning? |

      Delete
    5. I'm saying I'd value such a person, why would you think I wouldn't.

      I'm contemplating a long-term relationship. There isn't much to contemplate about short-term relationships, they can happen with no to minimal effort.

      I started to think (ok, I'm free to change my mind tomorrow, these are just immediate thoughts) psychologists could make some introductions for me. Like, send them a head-shot, a bio, with a cover letter that says do you know an asexual brainy and creative schizoid that could be my long-term romantic match?

      It's like contacting a veterinarian looking for a match to adopt for your pet. A long term match for myself to adopt from a doctor who knows his history...

      Oh, boy, now if this is not a great movie idea, I don't know what is.

      Delete
    6. I was saying an asexual schizoid could not possibly imagine that I'd be attracted to him, that I'd love him.

      I couldn't make the move myself because how am I supposed to know if the person is asexual.

      As for why asexual is important for me for a long term relationship... Because I've seen what happens in sexual relationships. Sex turns more into liability than an asset over time.

      Delete
    7. Sceli | It does sound like an amazing love story. While I didn't mean to leave out my in-depth thoughts on the first part of your comment, I agree with your train of thought, knowing that what truly matters when it comes to love, and the quality of life as a couple, is doing your best.

      http://art.brainpickings.org/post/84139889675/denise-levertovs-poem-love-song-adapted-as-a |

      Delete
    8. I can't let this one go, have to say it.

      Your line below D. Webb, reminds me what Jack Nicholson said to Diane Keaton in Something's Gotta Give: "You're a woman to be loved."

      (as opposed to 'I love you,' they had already slept together by that time)

      D. WebbDecember 19, 2014 at 3:40 PM
      Sceli | Thank you for clarifying that, and it does make sense according to your thinking.

      Delete
    9. "I was saying an asexual schizoid could not possibly imagine that I'd be attracted to him, that I'd love him."

      Sceli | Yes, it could happen, and I understand your other points. |

      Delete
    10. Sceli | I didn't say that you would not value such a person. It was a question that came to mind as I tried to understand your train of thought. Thanks for clarifying that, though, and, reading the rest of your comments, it does make sense to me now. I, too, was contemplating a long-term relationship in my comment, describing how I view a couple and the relationship in itself as being an extension of the partners in love. |

      Delete
    11. D. Webb,

      You sound like you're romanticizing love (this sounds weird, I know, but after falling in and out of love so many times over a long enough time span, it really is hard to romanticize love).

      How many times were you in and out of love so far?

      Delete
    12. D. Webb,
      Are you an aspie?

      Delete
    13. "Your line below D. Webb, reminds me what Jack Nicholson said to Diane Keaton in Something's Gotta Give: "You're a woman to be loved."

      (as opposed to 'I love you,' they had already slept together by that time)"

      Sceli | I, in turn, connected your thoughts to this: http://art.brainpickings.org/post/71234695023/anais-nin-on-love-2-diary-excerpts-selected-by |

      Delete
    14. That link led to this:“Where the myth fails, human love begins. Then we love a human being, not our dream, but a human being with flaws.”

      How was your connection to this? That I fail to do this? If so, you're right on in a way. I seem to be ordering the flaw, as opposed to saying I could love whatever the flaw is. I really couldn't ever say that about a human being, I wish I could.

      Delete
    15. You're really special D. Webb. I truly wish you meet someone who loves you just as you are and tries to make you happy just as much as herself or himself, whatever your heart desires.

      Delete
    16. Sceli | I do romanticize love, and there is so much more to it - that feeling of being so alive and growing in intensity....

      "How many times were you in and out of love so far?"

      You mean with the same person? Because if you do, I don't really cease loving as in being in and out. It's so much more complicated than that, fairly hard to explain.

      Delete
    17. Hmmm. That means there is only one person to talk about, D. Webb. You must be young, I'd guess 23 if you're male, 19 if female.

      Of course I did not mean the same person. You're dodgng something, that's ok.

      Delete
    18. "D. Webb,
      Are you an aspie?"

      Sceli | After reading so many comments, as well as doing my own in-depth research, I presently find it hard to define an aspie. I am quite aware of the fact that it sounds ironic, but it's true, in my own way. Does that make some sense to you now? I hope it does. I really do. |

      Delete
    19. D. Webb, perhaps this is a simpler question. Do you think other people view you as being an Aspie in their own minds according to their own criteria? None, 1, 2, 3 or more?

      Delete
    20. "Hmmm. That means there is only one person to talk about, D. Webb. You must be young, I'd guess 23 if you're male, 19 if female."

      Sceli | I am young, but I can't really mention my age. :(

      "Of course I did not mean the same person. You're dodgng something, that's ok."

      :)

      Have you really been in and out of love so many times? What I mean to ask is whether it was real love. |

      Delete
    21. :) But, sweetheart that sounds like an aspie. We used to have an aspie here. S/he would have the easiest time communicating with us through use of songs in youtube. She actually used the name aspie. At a more sophisticated way youve been doing the same thing. You're finding using articles and refereces easier to communicate. Something very difficult for most people is easy for you. Yet, you are not comfortable to blurt out your own personal opinions. Plus you're very interested in analyzing the autistic spectrum, your subconscious must be telling you something.

      Being an aspie is a pretty cool thing in my mind by the way. But anyway, I'm not diagnosing you with what little you said here but it's really cool if you embrace it for a while till you decide you definitely aren't, or just let it be.

      Delete
    22. Yes, I have been in and out of love many times. At the time it happened each love felt like love. Real love.

      What is real love? Google what Hemingway has to say about true love. See what other people defined it like.

      To me love is a state of mind. The worst mistake in love is when someone makes you fall in love with yourself and you project that unto them thinking you're loving them. Don't fall for flattery. Any socio can make any narc fall in love with himself using this tactic.

      Love and chocolate impact in the brain are very similar. So, one crazy way to test love is eat chocolate and compare, lol...

      Delete
    23. "You're really special D. Webb. I truly wish you meet someone who loves you just as you are and tries to make you happy just as much as herself or himself, whatever your heart desires."

      Sceli | Thank you :), really.

      I drink coffee, though - lots of it - so I'd replace the tea with coffee in here: https://soundcloud.com/brainpicker/george-orwell-tea

      Delete
    24. I wish I had a son like you. Life would never be boring...

      Delete
    25. "What is real love?"

      Sceli | This is unexplainable.

      Here is a quote about love that I feel quite drawn to, and that I can relate to on the inside: "I loved you when I saw you today, and I loved you always, but I never saw you before."

      By the way, I like jesting about chocolate, too. :) |

      Delete
    26. "I seem to be ordering the flaw, as opposed to saying I could love whatever the flaw is."

      Sceli | How do you order the flaw? |

      Delete
    27. I tell you what real love is to me at this point in life.

      Every morning when I wake up and see my dog I feel this amazing sense of enlarging of my chest cavity that I will spend one more day with my dog. And, this after several years.

      So, if I can ever feel the same with a man after similar number of years I will know that I have real love with a man.

      Till then I'll enjoy real love with my dog, my books, my trees, you name it.

      Delete
    28. Before I explain the 'ordering the flaw' thing, you explain to me the thoughts you had when you gave at 5:38 posting.

      Delete
    29. "That link led to this:“Where the myth fails, human love begins. Then we love a human being, not our dream, but a human being with flaws.”

      How was your connection to this? That I fail to do this?"

      Sceli | I didn't say that you fail to do this. Real love is also the myth/dream, all into one. It is everything. :)

      https://soundcloud.com/brainpicker/sets/denise-levertov-poetry-readings-92y |

      Delete
    30. OK, that sounds better than I assumed.

      I was referring to my wish of finding an asexual schizoid when I said ordering the flaw.

      Delete
    31. You have a good evening, D. Webb. It was nice getting to know you better. I'm ready to go back to my books.

      Delete
    32. "Before I explain the 'ordering the flaw' thing, you explain to me the thoughts you had when you gave at 5:38 posting."

      Sceli | I include all of that - the myth/dream - into the immeasurable, ever-growing intensity of love. When I do think deeper about it, real love encompasses everything, so it does include the dream. A human being has flaws, but that is also part of everything else in that relationship. This might sound strange to you, but an actual flaw can be desirable to a person and quite undesirable to another person, with the flaw being part of the "perfect" dream, which, in turn, becomes part of real love. Does that make sense to you?

      Delete
    33. "I wish I had a son like you. Life would never be boring..."

      | Thanks, Sceli. |

      Delete
    34. "OK, that sounds better than I assumed.

      I was referring to my wish of finding an asexual schizoid when I said ordering the flaw."

      Sceli | I see. I wrote more about flaws in another comment. Also, I thought in greater depth about it. One more thing about me is that I feel a lot, with great intensity, which I find somewhat hard to explain, or just put into plain words. I have been told that I communicate differently in person, where I am seen as a whole, as who I really am. I wonder if you can relate? |

      Delete
    35. "I feel this amazing sense of enlarging of my chest cavity that I will spend one more day with my dog. And, this after several years."

      Sceli | You love your dog that much? |

      Delete
    36. "D. Webb, perhaps this is a simpler question. Do you think other people view you as being an Aspie in their own minds according to their own criteria? None, 1, 2, 3 or more?"

      DoctorSciFi | I just saw your comment. The honest answer to your question is that I do not know. After all, it is quite hard to say. |

      Delete
    37. so are you saying no one has ever suggested to you before that you might be an Aspie?

      Delete
    38. ":) But, sweetheart that sounds like an aspie. We used to have an aspie here. S/he would have the easiest time communicating with us through use of songs in youtube. She actually used the name aspie. At a more sophisticated way youve been doing the same thing. You're finding using articles and refereces easier to communicate. Something very difficult for most people is easy for you. Yet, you are not comfortable to blurt out your own personal opinions. Plus you're very interested in analyzing the autistic spectrum, your subconscious must be telling you something.

      Being an aspie is a pretty cool thing in my mind by the way. But anyway, I'm not diagnosing you with what little you said here but it's really cool if you embrace it for a while till you decide you definitely aren't, or just let it be."

      Sceli | I have been told that my thinking is highly abstract, and that I find it easier to communicate in diverse, creative ways. Also, I am highly visual and I think in pictures, too (some more complex as opposed to others), which I thought was the ordinary or normal thing to do until I reached an age when I was told that it was not so. This was actually a funny incident that occurred in my childhood, and I remember being quite surprised at the time - the moment of truth:

      "You mean, other people don't do this, too? WHY?"

      Yes, this is one other thing that I do, meaning that I say "why" quite often, and I ask many questions, especially if certain topics interest me a great deal.

      I am comfortable with voicing my own opinions, but, naturally, it is hard to talk about some things as opposed to others. I find it much easier to discuss artistic subjects, for instance. However, I am quite different in person, and I have been told so by others. People find that I stand out most of the time, but again, this is based on what I have been told by family, friends or random people (I don't mean to sound conceited).

      People are different, and I embrace that quite fully. |

      Delete
    39. "so are you saying no one has ever suggested to you before that you might be an Aspie?"

      DoctorSciFi | No, I am not saying so. Sceli suggested it in this thread. Also, you can see what I just sent to Sceli at 7:53. |

      Delete
    40. "And, the second one has this line:

      “Not till we are lost, in other words not till we have lost the world, do we begin to find ourselves, and realize where we are and the infinite extent of our relations.”

      I've been there..."

      Sceli | I believe that some things must happen that way, or there comes a time in our lives when we need to experience ourselves differently. |

      Delete
    41. "You have a good evening, D. Webb. It was nice getting to know you better. I'm ready to go back to my books."

      Sceli | Yes, I feel the same way about our conversation.

      What genre do you prefer? |

      Delete
  11. "I also find myself wondering not just whether it is an accurate depiction of bipolar disorder...".

    Ask on the internet, great idea! Don't read the DSM or anything because, EVERYTHING YOU READ IN THE INTERNET IS TRUE.

    ReplyDelete
  12. "but what elements of the character are bipolar [or insert favourite mental illness or disorder here] and what elements of the character are just who that person is. "

    This is often difficult, depending on the person, the context and the illness, for the person to know themselves. Where is the boundary between you and your diagnosis?

    In the days before psychiatry/psychology etc. achieved the dominance they have now, I think this was less of an issue and in that sense a blessing.

    ReplyDelete
  13. SOUNDS LIKE SCHIZOPHRENIADecember 19, 2014 at 7:28 PM

    Schizophrenia-like illnesses occur in a variety of medical and neurological conditions but to date have not been described in association with aceruloplasminemia. Aceruloplasminemia is an autosomal recessive disorder of iron metabolism which leads to iron deposition in the basal ganglia, thalamus, cerebellum and hippocampus and which usually presents in middle age with extrapyramidal symptoms and dementia. We describe a 21-year-old woman on treatment for aceruloplasminemia who presented with schizophrenia-like psychosis and declining function in the absence of neurological signs. Neuropsychological testing showed significant dominant hemisphere deficits. Magnetic resonance imaging showed bilateral iron deposition in the cerebellar dentate nuclei and thalami, frontal atrophy, and periventricular white matter hyperintensities. Functional imaging suggested global hypoperfusion. The clinical, cognitive and imaging findings were not typical for either aceruloplasminemia or schizophrenia alone and the possible relationship between the two disorders is discussed with particular reference to implications for our understanding of schizophrenia.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I have loved every single thing Baron has said. Baron, will you mawwy me * D
    *

    ReplyDelete
  15. "Volke's mother told Yahoo! News that there was no indication there was anything wrong with her son. She also had no idea he met Prasetyo -- a transgender cabaret dancer -- while working as a chef on an international cruise ship." This is why he/she got killed.

    ReplyDelete
  16. HL, what would be the equivalent of Dostoyevsky for the borderline crowd. You have too many types of borderlines. You got the warrior borderlines, and you got the cry baby borderlines.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I have always liked Dostoyevsky's writing, this passage being one of the few that I remember reading several years ago. I even recall the place I was sitting when perusing it - a quaint café that I miss a lot.

    "More specific inquiry brought out opinions on Hamlet's essential conflict, comparison between the music of Brahms and the music of Shostakovitch, an impressive criticism of Schopenhauer's views on women, and several pertinent references to The Brothers Karamazov. She expressed opinions on current affairs that seemed to make excellent sense and talked with wit about the cyclic changes in feminine clothes and the implications of atomic physics for the future."

    ReplyDelete
  18. Didnt olde "Dosto" write some stuff about a dude "doing dirt" and then wandering endlessly about and moaning about what he´s done, feeling so sorry & then turning himself in to "really repent"? Socios favourite reading? Surely Camus fictive Stranger-characters "internal speech" in his cell before execution made more impact on most..?

    ReplyDelete
  19. How I discern one of Dostoyevsky's characters:

    To make something look real and alive, nothing can be symmetrical, because nothing in real life is symmetrical. You have to make it look organic.

    ReplyDelete
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