Monday, October 24, 2011

Managing mental illness

This is an interesting NY Times article about managing Schizoaffective disorder that questions the typical advice of taking it easy. Particularly, it suggests that people with that particular disorder do better when they have a very busy, demanding job or otherwise keep busy with obligations:

She travels a lot to conferences, and when she is back in California she keeps her schedule as full as possible. Her mind runs on high, and without fuel — without work — it seems to want to feed on itself. Her elbows usually tingle when that is about to happen, she said, and she will often play number games in her head. If she needs to, she will make a quick phone call.
I remember being happiest in my childhood during the school year. Once the summer came around, it was very easy for me to get cripplingly bored and generally dissatisfied with life. When I was a teenager, I would actually have symptoms of depression in the summer--feelings of malaise and general mental unrest that would always quickly disappear once school started again. During the school years I had every hour of my life scheduled because I liked it that way. One time I got appendicitis and went for 10 days with it perforated without seeking medical attention--I just had so many things I was caught up with. Right now I am in a similar situation of possibly overdoing it. I'm sleep deprived and may be developing an ulcer, but at least my mind isn't eating itself.

639 comments:

  1. Gah, I wish I had a definitive answer for this, but such is not the case. Sometimes I can just chill out and relax, not do anything and laze around. Other times, I'll flip the fuck out if I'm not busy doing something, even if it's self-indulgent. Usually though, it's the latter. There's always something to do, after all.

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  2. This has no relation to me's post....sorry me.

    I have been eating delicious conversation with a friend of mine all day yesterday, but I took it upon myself to read yesterday's comments. I am wholly thoroughly unconvinced that Missus Kanny is different from UKan. If she were, than why does she have the same opinions on people that UKan has? Why is she interested in the same people that UKan is interested in?

    I guess the point was brought up-oh, but why would UKan go through the effort? This is a weak argument. Why else-for fun. To alleviate the boredom. Also, it is not that much effort. Not all that much has to be invented. A large part of it is probably factually based. I suppose I find it all, oh I do not know-overly convenient? Perhaps my suspicion is unfair. But it is very pressing....I suppose it's hard for me to take missus ukan seriously. She is too ideal. More like a character.
    I am expected to believe in this perfect harmonious relationship between UKan the sociopath and this perfectly psychologically normal, content, intelligent women. As if those who marry sociopaths have no flaws and are perfectly sane. You are a "mary sue", missus. I do not believe in you. Tehehe.

    Furthermore, I find it highly amusing that those of you who are willing to take objection to some people's relationships with sociopaths are unwilling to take objection to missus's marriage to one. suddenly, simply because she is the wife of UKan, it is assumed that she is not "weak" in the way that it is commonly projected that the spouses/partners of sociopaths are weak? Why is her relationship with him not questioned, not railed at, not flouted as victimization? What makes missus more implicitly right in her relationship? It is all a little flimsy to me. This influx of ethos associated with her-where does it come from? It is foolish. Very foolish-and blind.

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  3. As a youngster My mum used to say I "had ants in my pants" unable to be inactive, I just know I can't be doing nothing. When I was younger this used to get me in real trouble as any activity was better than no activity at all, I laugh but it's true, in the periods that most people appreciate as 'down time' I am at my worst, my most paranoid & most self destructive.

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  4. One other thing. She seems pretty well educated on past events here at socio world. She even makes direct references to things that have happened on this site long before her presence here.

    Either she's been lurking a long time, UKan relates everything that happens on this site to her, or they are the same person. I don't know. Your call, I guess.

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  5. All in due time, Bluebird.

    And that's the second time tonight I've read the term 'Mary Sue'. I'd never heard it before today.

    "And yet my doubts kept pace with my pleasure, most of them centered on the major players, so beautifully portrayed and yet so mysteriously grating. Instead of deepening, the characters had begun to seem suspiciously contrived, a violent twist on what Internet discussion groups call a “Mary Sue”: the character who is better than everyone else—more sensitive, more traumatized, more brilliant. "

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  6. Where did that quote come from medusa?

    I first encountered the term Mary sue when I was an adolescent reading fan fiction or writers who'd post stories online. A criticism that a character was too ideal and infallible was usually denoted by naming that character a Mary sue...it is a foible in literature because the character is annoying unflawed and lacks the humanity that allows us to believe in them. A Mary sue lacks depth. I wonder if this term originated online and if so where it came from.

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  7. The Mary Sue.

    I'm having my doubts about Mrs. Smith as well (get it? get it?!). Especially the way Ukan said: "That was tasty bannanna bread." and Mrs. UKan saying: "Yeah it was good banana bread." seemed a bit like saying: "See How I can't spell banana properly, but my wife can? Do you see it? Do you? We're totally different people because of that!".

    But who cares, really. If he is pretending to be his wife, we'll just start calling him drag-queen.

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  8. The Adventures of Mary SueOctober 24, 2011 at 3:14 AM

    "Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy and Mr. Scott beamed down with Lt. Mary Sue to Rigel XXXVII. They were attacked by green androids and thrown into prison. In a moment of weakness Lt. Mary Sue revealed to Mr. Spock that she too was carrying Kesu's love child. Recovering quickly, she sprung the lock with her hairpin and they all got away back to the ship."

    — Excerpt from A Trekkie's Tale by Paula Smith.

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  9. love? love has nothing to do with this site.
    NOTHING

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  10. Nothing you say? Google "sociopath" and "love", and see what pops up as the very first suggestion.

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  11. i haven't made up my mind about it

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  12. @Prediction for Mrs Ukan
    She is going to try to get certain people to open up and then knife them. One is Bluebird.

    If she is Mrs Ukan, she will fight for dominance with the other Mal Narc, Medusa.

    There can be only one Mal Narc per group.

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  13. @Prediction for Eden, she is already the bitch of the two Mal Narcs.

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  14. Prediction for Ami: shut the fuck up.

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  15. Got Thunderdome on the brain, my dear?

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  16. Who deleted their comments at the end of yesterday's session? I'm curious to know what they were.

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  17. @Blog

    I've not read much about this disorder. May have to look it up some on a break today. What can it be like to have your mind want to feed on itself?

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  18. Soulful deleted her comments, Eden.

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  19. 'What can it be like to have your mind want to feed on itself?'

    You don't know? *sigh*

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  20. "she keeps her schedule as full as possible. Her mind runs on high, and without fuel — without work — it seems to want to feed on itself."

    This is me all over. I'm at my best when I'm hyper-productive. When I can lose my mind in a myriad of activities or productivity. Failing having an excessive amount of work to do, I indulge my escapism in books, art, cooking.... I can't be bored. It's pure torture.

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  21. All of this malignant narcissist shit is really annoying.

    On topic: wow, dedication at its worst

    On topic two (kinda): Double B, is there a more personal reason why you are thinking waaaaaaay too much on this. It doesn't really matter who anyone is here. If she exists, she has a good mind, if she doesn't, her character has a good mind. Why not accept it as it is introduced to you, whether a well written man or woman, or a complete blithering idiot who struggles to spell. Is it wrong to just go with it? It is a virtual play here at "Sociopath World", and we are all nothing but a cast of characters.

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  22. well they say it can be bit difficult to tell the difference between shizo and a bipolar when they are hallucinatory. Anyone here ever do the haldol shuffle?

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  23. ^^ I have.

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  24. What happened to Sweetcheeks?

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  25. What appears to have happened to Sweetcheeks from the last time she posted, was that she was blind-sided by by the Misses when she was opening up. Misses jumped right in and took over in the very nature of her spouse.

    Like a bull in a china shop. Very telling on the Misses part.

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  26. Aw, poor Sweetcheeks. Not that this is exactly the best place to be opening up, but still. I've kind of a soft spot for her.

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  27. no, she didn't have much shame

    i wouldn't give Misses credit for that.

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  28. sweet was disgusting

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  29. if misses was abusing her like her husband she wouldn't run off. wouldn't she be attracted to the abuse?

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  30. @piles

    Are you kidding? After everyone went through that trouble to "expose" luke? You think I'm gonna eat bullshit? No. UKan of ALL people should understand that. I just figured since everyone else seemed complacent I'd stir the pot and point out to you guys what seems glaringly obvious to me.

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  31. PILES SAID

    It is a virtual play here at "Sociopath World", and we are all nothing but a cast of characters.

    i spy with my little eye a plethora of puppets

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  32. @Bluebird
    I have shared a few things about my life, but very few. I am going to keep it that way.

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  33. I can't believe how paranoid I have some of you. Its hilarious.

    Bluebird you don't want to believe she is who she is because it means you would have to give ear to her counsel, which is adverse to what you are doing currently in your situation. Do you want to see UKan? Ok cunt, here I am. Your socio boy doesn't love you. You think he does because in your small nineteen year old little girl brain you have finally captured the heart of the complicated
    rogue. In reality you are another whore who got herself pregnant on purpose so you can get the guy you could not have. You think you habe safely caged this beast, but indeed it is you who are caged. You don't want to believe my wife is real because in comparison you look completely weak and broken. She isn't perfect, your just flawed.

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  34. @Attention Bricks
    No one "likes" to be abused. If they are abused, it is because they are stuck in a bad mental and emotional bind. When they can find a way out, they will but it has to be an inner strength way out, not bullshit cheap talk.

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  35. @UKan

    Getting pregnant was an accident, I'm having an abortion, and you are as see through as a zip lock bag. Your wife is either a sociopath or you can't hide your sociopathy very well, UKan. It smells. Fishy. Those who want to see the truth will open their eyes.

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  36. You really think my wife is a sociopath? You are so blind to the nature of people bluebird it is pretty laughable. I'm glad your hacking that little bugger out of you. We will be spared someone carrying on your disease you call a gene pool.

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  37. Sweetcheeks, you're so sensitive. I didn,'t take over, left when I commented on your need for attention and need to talk because of your attention depriving narcissist husband. Just because it's true doesn't mean I'm attacking you.
    Re my motives, I'm not competing, and i have no interest inopeningluebird up... she's dumb, but I will stab her if she opens up... she's dumb.
    Regarding my Mary sueness, I love the term! It has 50s ideal associations! I'm totally flattered and excited to be referred to as one.
    Regarding my flatness, I am flat. I haven't opened up to anyone. Funny how that works. So all any of you have are projections.
    And regarding my husband acting like me, it would actually be incredibly difficult for him to type like me so consistantly. Plus, donti talk a lot? If i were a character it'd be easier for him to talk more, and harder for me to talk more, so he would have less interjections by me and would only use the character as a strengthener.
    And frankly, my banana bread was amazing. So was my french banana bread. And bunny, I loves you!
    My husband talks to me about his musings with the idiots with this site. Sometimes I give him new insights when he tells me about the characters here. I have my own very distinct opinion on several of them from what he's said... like a I. You forget we are happily married and live together. Of course he tells me about people here.
    We're happily married, we arent perfect. But im not going to come on here and tell you about any of that.
    If you don't believe us, why didn't you ask me? Me knows who I am.
    Regarding the post, my husband gets bored all the time, and is almost thril seeking constantly. He's slowed down a lot, but he still need to be active. His job always gives him something to do, but sometimes when its "slow" he gets antzy.

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  38. I should not have given my opinion.
    Sweetcheeks will answer if she wants to.

    I was very interested in her story and it was interupted.

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  39. Ami. My spell check corrects her name.
    I was typing fast so i missed a few letters and corrections. I hate that!

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  40. I will procreate when I'm damn well ready and there's not a thing you can do to stop me.

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  41. For me, boredom is deadly

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  42. Lol. Bluebird, break up with him. He's typical, and you're typical until you do, and until you actually come on here saying I got the abortion I'm not buying what you're trying to sell about your strength of character. Your insights into people so far have literally only been only false, so I imagine your insight to yourself is equally ineffective.

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  43. Call me paranoid if you want to, but posting two long comments at the same time seems like the thing to do if you want to convince people you're not playing games. Or maybe it was a coincidence.

    You have people paranoid, UKan? I'd say that everyone here has everyone else paranoid, not just you. In fact: that sentence would only be true if you actually are pretending to be your wife, because you doing so (hypothetically) is making people paranoid. :)

    I think good luck would be appropriate, Blue; please don't become one of those girls that feel guilty about not feeling guilty about the abortion, that's just silly.

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  44. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkkE7yDXr6g&feature=related

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  45. Maybe not, but fate hopefully will intervene. Some women can't get pregnant after a abortion. Even if you finally do have a child the chances of it surviving with you as a mother would be slim. Nature has a way of blessing the rest of us.

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  46. lol. Bunny I love you!
    Not even the risk of death is that entertaining anymore. He constantly has to have new stimuli. I think sociopaths are very much like children in their manipulative talents... like 14 year old who know how to get things from their parents, but with more experience. So i think they have the same insatiable interest in the world as teens do.

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  47. Nobodies paranoid about you wheatley.

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  48. That bannanna bread comment blew the lid off the whole thing Mrs. We have been exposed. Bannanna Gate.

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  49. People aren't paranoid about me? That's good news. :)

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  50. You can make whatever attacks on my fitness to be a mother as you like, UKan. You can tell me I'm wrong to love a sociopath, but "missus" does it, so I find that a little bit of a pathetic line of attack. Like I'm really going to take "don't be with your socio anymore" seriously from someone married to one. Why?

    Also, if people believe this little charade of yours they have a little sponge in place of a brain in their heads.

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  51. Seriously guys, we love each other... and we're laughing about you all right now.

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  52. maybe you should take that the most seriously, bluebird. From what you've said I would never date him. He doesn't care about you. My husband has always loved me... very much. And i was never that dumb. I need way too much attention to take someones disinterest in me. You are just like everyone else your sociopath is going to use in his life. You put yourself together, as my husband would say.

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  53. The funny thing about projecting is, in person you can tell if you've hit on something on the internet your only guessing and can only take so much from their reaction.

    Projection is manipulation.

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  54. Lol. By your own admission, projection only works in person than, so why are you using that strategy here?

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  55. Oh, your sociopath loves you? Butterflys and flowers, hmm? I will tell you something missus. I may be "dumb" enough to stay around, but I would never in my right mind MARRY the guy.

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  56. You can tell me I'm wrong to love a sociopath, but "missus" does it, so I find that a little bit of a pathetic line of attack. Like I'm really going to take "don't be with your socio anymore" seriously from someone married to one


    You think I would need to make up some elaborate character to fuck with you and give you advice? You sure are self important aren't you? The reality is that I don't care about you or your situation. I told you what I did because I thought you were a idiot. I've known from day one you wouldn't listen to anyone's advice so I didn't bother with you. You think I'm my wife because we both have the same opinion about your situation. It makes it easier for you to discard what we said. In reality it's not just me and her. It's everyone here.
    How will it feel Blubird to cut that little fucker out of you. Do you think they can feel? What would you call it a fetus or your son? What's amusing to me is the thought of you reminissing on what could have been with 'socio boy'. You would have had that baby if he said the word. Ha ha ha. I wonder what he would have been like, your child. Would he have the bird brain of his mother or become a delusional music artist like his old man.

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  57. The Missus and Mistah are the same; two fucked up pieces of work.

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  58. Bunny?? Who calls their husband bunny? Sounds like Ukans trying to hard to convey the image of a loving, adoring wife. Something that he lacks but longs for...

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  59. i am good :)

    i am sharpening my knives in your slaughterhouse

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  60. Those two deserve each other. There is poetic justice in that, at least.

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  61. I know when to adjust my plans

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  62. Oh, right, you NEVER marry the guy! You'll just get pregnant by him with no commitments and no feelings between the two of you because that is so much smarter, and requires so much more finesse and intelligence.
    Bluebird, I can tell you I've never been pregnant. Who's the one making mistakes in their life? Don't hate me for your failures.

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  63. Good One, BB. Punch that bitch back.

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  64. I don't know, UKan. Making the character for me? Not really. More like, for everyone. Medusa, Eden. I'm not that self important, as you say. Your probably less interested in me than medusa. You've always been fascinated with her. Anyway, the anons brought up a pretty good point. Calling each other bunny? It's like you have no fucking clue what a real working relationship is like.

    You can keep trying to tear at me for my pregnancy. It's not going to get to me. My head is a much scarier place than anything you could possibly come up with in that sick heads of yours. Actually, I would like a different husband and socio boys child one day. But we don't always get what we want.

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  65. Nobody here is saying not to marry sociopaths Bluebird. People are telling you that you are a pathetic. There's a difference. In our situation we have a lot of money, we are married, have a good relationship, and our child is being planned.

    You are broke, single, and 19 years old. You are fucking your best friends ex boyfriend who she told you was a rotter, and on top of that got pregnant by him at 19 years old. You even thought of keeping it and raising it with him. What's funny is that you are telling my wife that SHE is the one that made the fucked up decision as you are on your way to chop up your baby you thought of keeping.

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  66. I am not fascinated by medusa or eden. If I had questions for them I would ask them. We have a good repport.

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  67. SW, don't you want to be around to see that slime Ukan and his slimier wife get theirs. It will happen except I hope we all see it.

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  68. watch

    learn

    re adjust

    =

    new tools

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  69. So your parents didn't love each other bluebird? That explains the sociopath mistake. When did they get divorced? Or are they fighting it out for the kids?

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  70. That's proof! Proof that Ukan is Missus. They are correcting each other's spelling. How convienent that she corrected his spelling right after being accused of being him. Ukan is planning on weaving himself in playing the role like he is his wife, because he saw all along that everyone would love her and spill out all of their inner workings to her. All he had to do was act like her, but she acts like him because they are both the same people but with diffrent names thought the names are similiar! It's all part of the plan! But they dont trust him so he has to use HER NAME!! Her name with his personality, but he pretended to be her personality, but she's a sociopath. Or she's not? You guys will see the truth!!

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  71. UKan sounds like he comes from a wonderful family ~

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  72. "UKan sounds like he comes from a wonderful family" ~

    No, he sounds like a sociopath.

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  73. @UKan

    Lol, whatever. I don't envy your wife, or whatever. I'm 19, I'm young. I've got an entire life ahead of me. I'm not stuck with some crazy asshole forever. I'm living totally alone and I have enough money to completely support myself. I have a job. I love a guy who says he loves me back-you know the beauty of my life, UKan? I don't have to fucking commit to such a dangerous guy. I can love him and remain safe enough to be distant and drop the relationship. Know the beauty of my life? I don't have to fucking have a kid, I can get an abortion and keeping going to school and getting A's. I can do anything I want to. You are both old and stuck. Or rather you, UKan

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  74. And where will your money go when your in prison, both of you. To pay to who ever gets your child?

    You know crimes don't vanish when you go legit, there not erased from victems minds or accomplices.

    Where would your child go if your both in prison?

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  75. What if your father never fucked your mother Jane?

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  76. I never became self aware until the age of 18. Before that I was pretty sloppy. Not in a self destructive sense, but I was very much abusive to those around me. it never bothered me in the least that I stole from people, attacked them and used them, it bothers me that I was so careless back then. I've never gone to prison for anything, but I like to be in control of my actions.

    As I grow older I become better at molding my behavior so that I can fit in to society better. I still con others constantly, but I'm way more careful than I was 5 years ago.

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  77. You think he loves you? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You dumb bird you are so broken. I don't care what bounces around in your little gothic emo depressed head. It won't compare to what will go through it once you chop up your son. Don't worry the remorse is natural from what I hear. I wonder if he has his eyes.

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  78. "I don't care what bounces around in your little gothic emo depressed head"

    LOL!

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  79. Who wants to play? ^.^ *Purrs*

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  80. your a goth? it's no wonder you are a magnet for charismatic abusers.

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  81. anon 1130 gets a prize

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  82. "chop up your son" UKan deserves Luke's son. Shit like that happens to shit like UKan.

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  83. Stop posting birth pictures of Lukes son.

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  84. Ukan is a low functioning sociopath. Few people, even on here, are as low functioning.
    No one is lol

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  85. finally that makes me smile

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  86. "Ukan is a low functioning sociopath"

    Lacking empathy and abusing others makes you low functioning?

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  87. Lol UKan and the anon after him.

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  88. Low functioning is being an immature punk.

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  89. "Low functioning is being an immature punk"

    "Immature punks" make it to the top.

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  90. Immature punks go to prison while mature sociopaths make it to the top. Oh, I forgot, UKan ALREADY has been to prison because he is so high functioning.

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  91. He can take off the reigns on SW. He has no reason to be kind to others here. When you lack a conscience, you can abuse people all you want and not feel a thing.

    I bet you would never suspect UKan of being abusive, if you were to speak to him in person.

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  92. Why is UKan the biggest idiot on here, then?

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  93. "Why is UKan the biggest idiot on here, then?"

    He has the most influence here. That tells me a lot about his character.

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  94. ' . I love a guy who says he loves me back-"

    If you can satisfy yourself with the fact that he doesnt love you, you have a whole different set of issues. You think you have your whole life ahead of you, but its pretty bleak of your chasing people who don't care about you.
    Il believe you're going to get an abortion when you come on here saying you got one.
    You consistantly allude to your doubts about aborting it almost every time you say you will. And you think you can take care of a child? How little you know about psychology. Did you know that committed relationships are imparative for raising children? Psychologically healthy people need both gender roles in their lives so they learn the dynamic for the health of their relationships in their future. And for their relationship and clarity with themselves. But you want to raise this mistake in pivotal developmental stages with no father and then marry someone to give them the issues you put on the child by your irresponsibility? That sounds like you're a super great person to look down onour relationship. So hows school going for you? Still cant get up and make it to class now that your pre go? That's funny how your actions are implying much more than you're trying to tell yourself.

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  95. I am so amused by the anonymous brigade.

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  96. "while mature sociopaths make it to the top"

    bombing the crap out of countries is mature, right?

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  97. They are the same person-- Ukan and his Ukan wife.

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  98. We are amused by the ukan brigade

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  99. How did you figure it all out. Tell me your first clue? Did I give it away or was it your powers of perception?

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  100. Ha ha ha ha Anon 12:04

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  101. Its idealistic of you to think that the good triumph. Sometimes, in this little world we live in, evil triumphs. They learn all the back doors and get to places like chancellor, or they woo enough people to enforce their regime, and no one does anything about it. Everyone loves the benefits of the people unafraid and able to take what they want from everyone else. Sometimes they do go to prison... and sometimes they become prime minister. Who's to say that low functioning is dependant on a sociopaths maturity? Would we call stalin mature? What about hitler?

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  102. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBgp5aDH23g

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  103. Damn UKan, that was a good game lol Was ME in on it?

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  104. You're just going in circles here UKan. I'm not emo son, I'm fucking crazy. But I'm still not crazy enough to believe this spoon fed bullshit about how you a missus UKan are in a healthy loving relationship. That's like saying a lion could love a cat. You are see through like glass.

    I'm having an abortion on Halloween. You keep going back and forth-you should feel bad for not raising it, you should abort it. Well I'm actually in school UKan. At 6 weeks what is on my uterus is a conglomeration of cells, not a fetus. You aren't going to talk me into hating myself. There is nothing you can say to me that bears greater impact than my own thoughts. I am aware it is unfortunate this must happen. People make mistakes bro. We move on.

    He does love me. In a week he may change his mind, but that's ok, I have other things to be concerned with. I understand him very well and he understands me. We have talked about his emotional deficits. He'll never be a good choice for a healthy committed relationship. But that doesn't matter. Love just is. The only way not to let it ruin you is to accept that it exists and go right on living. If you don't live in denial of reality nothing anyone ever says can hurts you. If you know the truth the truth can't be used to hurt you. UKan.

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  105. Nope, don't push it.

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  106. bluebird, you can't win an argument with ukan. he is glib, you aren't.

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  107. This should have given away Mrs UKan. UKan shut up for a few days.

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  108. did she just call ukan "bro"? lmfao

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  109. Imparative? That sounds like a Chinese guy trying to say something has something to do with impalas.

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  110. can you imagine ukan in his $5000 suit staring down this little gothic emo like a wild dog LOL.

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  111. that kind of turns me on~

    Just like Missus does

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  112. "He does love me. In a week he may change his mind"

    Hilarious.

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  113. Double B:

    No, I wasn't kidding. There wasn't any pointless tasteless almost not funny politically incorrect toilet humor in my statement, so no, I was not kidding.

    The Luke thing, like it is with every person willing to make their personal lives a show here, was entertainment. It wasn't revenge, it wasn't retribution, it wasn't for tokens at chuck E cheese, it was sadistic entertainment. And why assume you are the only one who senses bullshit? I just don't get why you are so in to all of this.

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  114. sounds like Blue is trying to defeat the Evil Empire but her efforts will be fruitless.

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  115. @anon

    I don't need to be glib to win an argument. Sorry. Glibness is just a way of hiding ignorance.

    @piles
    I'm not the only one. Also, I don't care if you are questioning my motivation for exposing him. My motives are irrelevant. Everything that I am saying makes sense. If you can point out a hole in my logic, please do so. That is the way we arrive at fact, you see? I don't care about entertainment. All that is relevant is truth.

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  116. God people, I'm not trying to defeat anything. O just despise ignorance.

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  117. And if you want to honestly know why I can't help but speak up, it is because i find transparent attempts at manipulation extremely irritating.

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  118. Ha ha ha ha. You are such a fool blubird. You are putting yourself together. I'm playing games with you without any effort and you are talking about exposing me? You are so far off.

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  119. Whatever UKan. I do so wonder where I will find this game. Is it under the covers? Behind my ear, maybe? Will you pull it like a magician out of your handkerchief? Who said anything about exposing you? You've exposed yourself. I'm sure nobody needs me to see it on their own.

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  120. sssshhhhh BB

    you are taking away all the fun

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  121. You think your so smart. Like in real life you can't see anything coming. Your like a deer in the headlights when it comes to people like me. If your chopping that little squirt out on halloween, will you hand out parts of the fetus to the kids on the block? That would be classic. Very gothic of you.

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  122. bluebird is technically a murderer.

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  123. You could give the baby up for adoption BB. There are places which would help you, free of charge.

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  124. Gothic? Mmm, I don't know. I'm more of a hippy. I know your wife hates them.

    I see everything coming. I'm just powerless to change the future, UKan. We are all bound to fate and free will is only an illusion. A sociopath no less than anybody else. Once you see the big pictures, nobody can take you by surprise. But sometimes all you can do is brace yourself for the inevitable. If you live in truth you can't be manipulated. You need to be under delusions to be manipulated.

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  125. Bluebird, you think you're in love because you've talked about his emotional deficit? I will give you the fact that when youre young you find love with fucking idiots because it makes you grow and learn. But I will not believe he loves you, because you don't believe it. You said, I love him and he says he loves me. which we all know to be you say ing that you know he doesnt love you.
    The halloween abortion thing is a great idea... that way when you do have children you'll always be reminded of your mistakes when everyone else is trying to be festive and merry. The death associations are cute too. Maybe that will make the nightmares interesting.

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  126. I love Halloween :D I got a great new costume to show you when it's finished. My best work yet, it is almost ready.

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  127. You looked so miserable in your picture I couldn't tell the difference. Like a starved bird.

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  128. Don't kill the kid. It's not his problem his parents are morons.

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  129. Why are you keeping your wife character up, Ukan?

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  130. No kill it. Its the right thing to do. For all of us.

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  131. Don't kill the kid, Blue. Let him live.

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  132. Free will is only an illusion? Well isn't that a convenient way to handwave all your mistakes. Haven't you said something like that before? I'm not sure.

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  133. Than maybe you should stop deluding yourself if you hate ignorance, listen for a second to everyone in the room telling you you're wrong. He doesn't love you. He gets laid with you.
    And about the ideal lovestuff, thats a cop out for not having to grow. 'Love is just crazy, jeepers we just fall, and then well, we're happy or we aren't" that actually is stupid. Youll fuck yourself enough times to learn that some people hurt you, and then you can actually choose not to be with those losers when you know yourself well enough to know why you picked them. You think you're special, and that your relationship is special, but right now in your life bluey, you've done nothing outside of the ordinary of any other teenage girl. You're just some typical, naive, idealistic teenage girl, high on hopes and dreams. Its endearing really, but let the grownups talk.

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  134. That thing belongs in a garbage bag. Lets be realistic here.

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  135. I don't have nightmares. And it was accidental it was scheduled for that day. I find it an ironic twist of fate. Life is so naturally ironic, I find it very beautiful dear UKan, perfect and fitting and beautiful. Life is amazing. Maybe some people would cry, but I'd rather laugh at how perfectly everything seems to work out.

    And you're wrong. I know he loves me. It won't ever be a love as powerful as love between two sane healthy people. It is different, demented. But I have always been special to him. He looked right through Mel at me from the day I met him. We have changed one another's lives. I have forced him into looking in the mirror. He has forced me into confronting my weakness. We have differences but a similarity so haunting that it draws us both together in the oddest way attraction can. The way he loves me is the way you would love a part of yourself. He can't see me as separate-nor anyone. He can't relate. But I am a part of who he is. He loves me. I believe that, deep down. It is not enough for there to ever be a true Us. That is a shame. But the love is there, and real, and wholly unique and beautiful.

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  136. Let me clue you in, hippies don't grow up to be anything. It goes against their culture. Effort is what gets you places in the world, not chance and fate and hippy happenstance. I hope you think couches are comfortable. That's right, you don't believe in material things, its a love couch.

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  137. BB

    it is so cute that you still believe in love. if he really cared for you, he would be there for you and protect you. protection is love, if love really existed.

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  138. And I won't be with or end up with him. I'm just enjoying life right now. You take everything too damn seriously, man. Smell the roses. Stop thinking so hard. Enjoy for the sake of enjoying. Perception can view me as perfect or damned of it wants. Both views are equally false, so I'm just gonna keep listening to my own tune.

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  139. you think because you share the same gruesome isssue that your understanding of each other is valuable? I'm glad you help each other grow. That's convenient. But you think love is understanding people like you? Then projecting your "complexity" onto them? That's actually childish. Its youthfully self centered. Which is fine. You're young. I'm sure when you get over the fact that you think you have the whole scheme figured out youll have potential.

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  140. Ha ha ha. You should print out that comment and save it for a few years lass. You are going to habe reality come crashing down on you. Your a fucking teenage girl, what the fuck do you know about love and relationships? Your best friend was just sleeping with him and now he loves YOU? You are such a silly girl. He will be fucking the girl banging the loudest on the bongo drums or spinning the fastest hoolahoop by next week. Hippy guys are the worse men on the planet if you can call them men. They just hang around smoking pot on their girlfriends couch while life passes them by slinging childish idealist notions that excuse their lazy lifestyle.

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  141. He is protecting me right now. He is ALWAYS there when I need him, inconsistent as he is generally. But when I need him to be there for me he always shows up. He stares right through me sometimes. There is an utter sincerity that exists and when it shows itself I realize I've always known. It's not consistent, but I've come to accept that.

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  142. Lol. How convenient that that belief makes you so empowered. And how convenient that that belief means you don't have to listen to logic from anyone if you don't want to. And you still try to claim to hate ignorance? Perhaps you should give one of those beliefs up for the sake of argument.

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  143. Wow I guess he just transformed over night because you came here only a few weeks ago and he had all but forgotten you existed half the time.

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  144. And I was there while they were sleeping together. You should see the disdain in his eyes when he looked at her. With me, it was like he wanted to eat me. Figure me out. Between him and Mel there was a lukewarm pond. Between us there was always fire. I've always been able to sense his moods.

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  145. He gets laid blue. You should print our shaman discussion too while your at it. That's also going to help you when you wake up to a few things. You'll want the list of warning signs. Did you already do a compare contrast on your "socioboy'? I'd recommend it to you.
    Doesn't she sound like whisper?

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  146. "He is protecting me right now. He is ALWAYS there when I need him, inconsistent as he is generally. But when I need him to be there for me he always shows up"

    Pure heartless sociopath this guy.

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  147. He makes you feel special. Ha ha ha. Sounds pretty familiar to a lot of you victims doesn't it? You saw what you wanted. Hes playing into your projections. You are such a dumb girl.

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  148. Bluebird, don't you realise what Ukan and 'Missus' have done? Initially the conversation was about you accusing Ukan of creating a false character...But look what he's done. He's twisted it so that now you are left defending your private life...The conversation has take a complete U turn! No pun intended...He's twisted it so that now YOU are the one backed into a corner...Go back to your original point and forget there silly remarks about your personal life...

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  149. Lol. You two have such a fiery deep relationship! Passion, zest, you'd never marry him, he forgets you exist, he doesnt love you and he's there for you always...but he's a flake.
    He's a flake normally, and you think him "being there for you" isn't just because you have sex with him?
    You describe your relationship as passionate, but with no substance and you think you're in love?
    Are you prettier than your friend? Perhaps easier to put up with because of your hippyness?
    How does he protect you? How is he there for you? Since your on your own, does he stay with you to make sure your safe? Walks you to your car? Fights over you? What?

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  150. @anon

    You are correct. That just occurred to me as well.

    Well, ok UKan. Fuck it, think whatever you want. Miss kanny is still just a badly disguised you.

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  151. Your a idiot anon. This IS about her personal life. She has plainly stated that she was making this accusation because she wants to believe what we are telling her is wrong.

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  152. Wrong. I made the accusation because it's true.

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  153. the American spirit girl.
    and yes, bluebird. Please. Jump back on the attack of our relationship and how much we must hate each other. How little substance we must have. What a little kitty in a lions den I am. How we don't work well together, and i don't exist. Talk to us about that with your vast experience.

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  154. You think your depressed now wait till socioboy picks you up and shatters your little fluttering teenage heart into a thousand pieces. Getting you pregnant is just the beginning. In the end your frie d is going to laugh in your face and you will be humiliated for all to see. He wont even remember your name, but every few months you will remember that you killed your son.

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  155. I'm no expert on pregnancies, but don't you think it might be hormones that are causing you to think about him like that? Think about it: from an evolutionary (neuro)psychological viewpoint, it makes sense that, when you assume stable couples are the most successful in raising offspring, you have an advantage when pregnancy causes you to develop feelings toward a male that makes you want to commit.

    But like I said: I'm no expert on pregnancies. I have no idea wether six weeks is too early for hormonal changes like this. It's just conjecture.

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  156. This is about you, bluebird. You think we cant be in love because you can't win over your socioboy. It isn't possible because you failed.
    How does he protect you, if he loves you? You haven't been able to prove any of your dreams come true. Even in your diction. He wants to eat you. Passionate. He says he loves me. Even though he's generally inconsistant. You've wrapped yourself in a cloud.

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  157. Is Wheatley a boy or girl?

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  158. You are posturing UKan. I see your moves like badly played pieces on a chess board. Try harder.

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  159. Judging by the two-week beard I have at the moment, I'd go with 'guy'.

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  160. That's funny, it worked so well the last time. You know when his cheap manipulation had no effect on you and you just started talking about your boyfriend for no reason.

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  161. The holes in your logic is as follows:

    -Who cares
    -You are getting bent out of shape for nothing
    -Nothing he says, his wife says, his characters say, should matter unless you personally asked for their $0.02
    -why put so much emotional frustration into a nobody

    Lets say you are correct, how would disclosing any of this help you deal will the pregnancy, the abortion, the socio guy you are kindabutnotreally involved with, school, and living? .

    If all that is relevant is truth, then utilize the truths that exist in your personal life only. THOSE truths are the only ones that matter.

    P.S. Why the hell would you seek truth from a sociopath blog?

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  162. I think hormonal changes do occur Wheatley. And youre probably right, I am likely more emotional and idealistic than usual.

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  163. Oohh! How rugged! Are you single Wheatley?

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  164. he has you whenever he wants BB. can't you see that? how i would love to turn off that little heart of yours and make you see the truth.

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  165. Piles, it's everywhere. Even in lies truth exists. Disclosing shit here doesn't do anything but give me a chance to face some hostility and see what happens. It is pretty fun, I like this sort of thing.

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  166. Lol. Yeah. The beard is more laziness than it's a fashion statement, though. Actually, it's probably all laziness. I went on a vacation for a week, and I forgot to bring a razor. I was like "Meh." And now I'll just wait until I grow tired of it. Or until it tries to kill me. Whatever comes first.

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  167. @UKan

    Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.

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  168. I guess this will be the first time you've been fooled then blubird. This ones on the house but its going to sting. Welcome to the real world.

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  169. I bet you look cute with a beard ^.^

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  170. Its OK. We're over you anyways. You think you're interesting but youre not. I bet everyone tells you your special, and i bet you believe them. You aren't. You're making the same mistakes all the other normal people make. It'll be fun when you see.

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  171. Actually, I can't speak for my husband on that. He'll probably still choose to destroy you. He's amused by different things.

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  172. at least you are smart enough to abort the baby. i know i would if i ever got knocked up by someone, then again i wouldn't let that happen in the first place.

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  173. Let me tell you a secret. I am special. :)
    We are all unique snowflakes don't you know? 1 in 6 billion.

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  174. *sigh* Why am I not shocked by that response, okay Bird.

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  175. Your not special blubird. You just think you are right now. As soon as he turns off the light you will be alone in the dark by yourself again. How long do you think it will be before he's looking at you with distain while he fucks you. I wonder who he will be picturing.

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  176. With Mr. and Mrs. Smith tag-teaming like this, it seems increasingly unlikely they are the same person. And yet, something is still a bit off.

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  177. But it's true. We are all genetic marvels. There are over 70 trillion genetic combinations possible. You are one of them. Hence, special. Have you people no wonder?

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  178. The tag teaming simply convinces me more that they are the same.

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  179. UKan gets a comment, missus gets one. She is so nonexistent, she doesn't even get her own username. Their interactions are like an ordered symphony. It is too coordinated for my taste buds.

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  180. Oh God. Do you have special-snowflake-syndrome, Blue? You're confusing being unique with being special. The funny thing about snowflakes is that while they're unique, they aren't special. A special snowflake would fall upwards. A unique snowflake just falls down, along with all the others.

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  181. @Bunny

    Nope, it's rabbit season...

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  182. When snow melts its all the same. The only thing that's unique about snowflakes is the way they fall.

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  183. I enjoy a good sideways snowflake, but even then they travel in groups.

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  184. I like to get people out of character. Making a fool out of you would accomplish the opposite effect.

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  185. Come on Wheatley. It depends how you define special.

    "1. of a distinct or particular kind or character
    2. being a particular one; particular, individual, or certain"

    I would say my definition here isn't too far off. A Wheatley is a distinct and particular person, whereas a bluebird is distinct and particular person.

    Sure, there is also this definition:

    5. distinguished or different from what is ordinary or usual

    And that is what you are arguing. But I can argue back by appealing to definitions 1 & 2.

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