Monday, October 31, 2011

Regret vs. remorse

I have actually forgotten where I got this from, but I thought it was an interesting etymological explanation of what I have always intuited about regret vs. remorse.
I always think of connotation - REMORSE "1325–75; Middle English < Middle French remors < Medieval Latin remorsus, equivalent to Latin remord ( ere ) to bite again, vex, nag ( re- re- + mordere to bite) + -tus suffix of v. action, with dt > s; see mordant" Defined as a "deep and painful regret for wrongdoing; compunction." Remorse seems to follow a morally wrong decision. REGRET "1300–50; Middle English regretten (v.) < Middle French regreter, Old French, equivalent to re- re- + -greter, perhaps < Germanic ( compare greet2 )" Defined as alternatively "a sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction, etc" or "a feeling of sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss, disappointment, etc." It is interesting that regret's second definition denotes a relationship with remorse but I have always thought that regret follows a decision that can be morally wrong but might just be a function of maturity. We have remorse for something that is unequivocally wrong and we feel regret for something that could be wrong but might just be stupid.

For me, regret means either feeling bad about something I get caught at OR a missed opportunity. Remorse is more connected to morality and is when I feel bad because I know what I have done is wrong (according to my conscience and internal compass).
I agree particularly with the last paragraph--that regret is wishing things could have gone differently, and remorse seems to be associated with a sense of guilt.

155 comments:

  1. Regret is for people who live with what ifs and can't leave the past where it belongs.

    Until you're dead, there's no fuck up or missed opportunity that closes all the doors of future opportunity.

    It doesn't matter how bad it gets. Desperation and survival instincts have a funny way of making the impossible improbable at worst.

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  2. I do actually feel a kind of guilt sometimes, but not *for* others. My own understanding was that remorse requires empathy, which I obviously lack.

    (Well so what if I dont feel for others? I still have standards and a sense of noblesse oblige, which I don't extend to ingratiates and those who have botched their own lives, such as addicts.)

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  3. I only find myself regretting the little things. Like when I lock my keys in the car or misplace my lighter.

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  4. "I still have standards and a sense of noblesse oblige"

    As in?

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  5. My moral code is based on if they can lock me up or not.

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  6. Anonymous:

    It means that, for example, because hurting the weak is pathetic I wouldn't hurt animals for fun. I'm above the level of the people who do such things - *noblesse* oblige.

    And there are of course things you don't do to your closest family, or to other 'close' people such as love interests, or people who depend on oneself (though I prefer to avoid the latter situation by pushing idiots away).

    Even though I don't have a sense of shame, I operate according to honour.

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  7. Kurea, are you a female?

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  8. Kurea:

    Would you feel shame if you “dishonored” yourself, by, say, hurting those who are close to you?

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  9. "I agree particularly with the last paragraph"

    Because you didnt understand the rest of it M.E. Being lazy with your blog today...

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  10. "It means that, for example, because hurting the weak is pathetic I wouldn't hurt animals for fun. I'm above the level of the people who do such things - *noblesse* oblige."

    Very noble. Do you protect the weak and fight off the bullies? Do you only go after the strong?

    "Even though I don't have a sense of shame, I operate according to honour."

    So you have no conscience, no shame or empathy but you still follow a code of honour and protect friends and family? How and when did you first realise you were a sociopath? Is it just something you feel deep down inside despite behaving normally?

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  11. @ for WHEATLEY

    What's up with you and Lovecraft? An appropriate inquiry on Halloween. You have a relentless intellect, do tell ;-)

    "The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents." H.P. Lovecraft

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  12. Regret and/or remorse is an inner act of reflection which bypasses or gives pause to impulse. Not just a moral compass. It's a common sense homing device. We are social creatures.

    Otherwise we are impulse puppets or amoral muppets.

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  13. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvarLqTNr1M

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    Replies
    1. You are awesome. This song made my night. It's a bit more simplistic than the stuff I listen to, but .... =]

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  14. Tik:
    Yes, I'm female, but you can understand why I'm not going to give out any more information in a comment on this blog.

    Daniel Birdick:
    I'm pretty sure that I would feel guilt if I failed my own standards of how I should treat them. I think I should also define 'close to me' as meaning in terms of co-operation, familiarity and kinship, so as to avoid confusion.

    Misanthrope:
    "Very noble. Do you protect the weak and fight off the bullies? Do you only go after the strong?"

    No, you're misunderstanding what I meant to say. I don't go out of my way to protect anyone, except those closest to me who I keep to a minimum - and feel bad if I fail. I do not wish to fight monsters or to become a monster, I wish only to become a yes-sayer in spite of a world trying to drag me down to the level of its own mentality, when I couldn't care less save that its filth is pushed in my face constantly.

    "So you have no conscience, no shame or empathy but you still follow a code of honour and protect friends and family? How and when did you first realise you were a sociopath? Is it just something you feel deep down inside despite behaving normally?"

    Actually, unlike most of you (I don't keep track) I was diagnosed as dissocial and also as obsessive compulsive. So if anyone disagrees with the 'path diagnosis, please take it up with the psych who diagnosed me.

    And I'm also above playing games by leaving comments on someone else's blog if it will bring me no positive reward, so please don't even think about trying to pull out the rug from under me.

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  15. i like muppets and puppets

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  16. shove your hand up my ass and play with me

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  17. "It means that, for example, because hurting the weak is pathetic I wouldn't hurt animals for fun. I'm above the level of the people who do such things - *noblesse* oblige"

    this is what's called empathy. if you felt no guilt. you'd have no qualms about abusing an animal or taking advantage of your flesh and blood.

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  18. you're a dirty bastard muppet

    i like gentle finger action

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  19. misanthrope, i have a feeling all these bully hunters are victims of abuse.

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  20. thank you captain obvious

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  21. Regret and/or remorse is an inner act of reflection which bypasses or gives pause to impulse.

    @Soulfulpath, the above sounds… fluffy. Imprecise.

    Not just a moral compass.

    What could remorse possibly mean without morality?

    Otherwise we are impulse puppets or amoral muppets.

    Catchy but meaningless.

    We are social creatures.

    Many of us more so than others.

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  22. if you have a moral code for yourself. you aren't a sociopath imo. i could literally do anything to anyone and i wouldn't feel bad about it. they wouldn't have to be my enemy nor would i have to be in a vindictive mood.

    the only factor that stops me from conning or killing the people i do not like or my wife, is the prospect of being incarcerated or murdered. my wife pissed me off one day and i blurted out that i would slice her head off if i could get away with it.

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  23. why do you stay married Harv if you don't like her at all?

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  24. I am going to stick with Turtle necks.

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  25. you want some muppet love Harv?

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  26. fuck you muppet, he needs some loving from a puppet

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  27. i don't work so i need her for financial reasons. and she cooks and cleans.

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  28. Harv you are every womans dream. I bet you have to beat off the hoards of women with a stick just to get some privacy.

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  29. To Harv

    Luv puppet

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyKE6-ionlc&oref=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fresults%3Fsearch_query%3Dteam%2Bamerica%2Bsex%2Bscene%26aq%3Df&has_verified=1

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  30. Or Harv doesn't work so head can beat off.

    Your a freeloader Harv, dead weight and you beat her.

    I'll call you Master Bater.

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  31. @Daniel Birdick . . . Haiku to you too! ;-)

    The haiku you wrote . . .

    Fluffy, imprecise
    Catchy but all meaningless
    More so than others

    Rhetorical haiku back at you . . .

    Social creatures all
    Driven by vast perspective
    Perplexed and certain

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  32. Okay let me get this right... Harv lives in HER house for free, eats HER food and beats her up? Lol.

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    Replies
    1. Sadly this sort of thing is about as common as dirt, especially in economically depressed areas. Are these men sociopaths, or just children who never grew up? Often there is overlap in those behaviors...

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  33. yup ^

    Master Bater lol

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  34. @You Can't Dance lol

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  35. @Soulfulpath

    If only I could appreciate the haiku. Sadly, I am without the ability to do so. Shocking, isn’t it?

    I guess your response means that your original comment was so full of deepity that it could only be elaborated on in koan like fashion. Which is another way of saying it was without actual content…? Unintelligible? Meaningless?

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  36. the only factor that stops me from conning or killing the people i do not like or my wife, is the prospect of being incarcerated or murdered.

    So you are just scared?

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  37. Kurea:
    hurting the weak is pathetic

    No you are pathetic. The weak deserve to suffer.

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    Replies
    1. Sounding pretty pathetic there, Ukanitor!

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  38. Soulful is the resident master of glib.

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  39. @Daniel Birdick

    Unintelligible? Meaningless?

    Why not add Paradoxical? Pointless? Ironic? Empty of Substance?

    Perhaps you just lack the ability to construct a haiku.
    And your well trained ability to zero onto perceived fault in another has rendered you creative faculties an empty cup.

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  40. I've never felt remorse in my life. Regret for me is short lived because everything is temporary. You can have it all and lose it all and get it all back again. The only people with regrets are people that have no future so they live in the past.

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  41. @Daniel Birdick

    Perhaps your issue is structural ignorance?

    A Haiku is three lines . . .
    5 (Syllables)
    7
    5

    Oh, don't be such a bore and try it. I am sure with your intellect you would be able to say something profound.

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  42. nobody can do anything to soulful, not ukan, not mis, not medusa, nobody

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  43. I whispered in your ear
    I heard it echo loudly
    Pathetic soulful

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  44. nobody can do anything to soulful, not ukan, not mis, not medusa, nobody

    Looks like somebody is trying to incite people. Do you think you are the one in control here?

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  45. your a poet and didn't know it ;)

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  46. I bet a shaman can do something to her.

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  47. 'Looks like somebody is trying to incite people. Do you think you are the one in control here?'

    it's true, it's all water off a goose's back with soulful.

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  48. Medusa

    do shamans actually think they have magical power?

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  49. I bet a shaman could. She would be on it hook, line, and sinker.

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  50. Why not add Paradoxical? Pointless? Ironic? Empty of Substance?

    Why would I Soulful when you can obviously do it for me?

    And your well trained ability to zero onto perceived fault in another has rendered you creative faculties an empty cup.

    I’d say my creativity runs in other, non-poetic directions.

    Do you find writing substantive, non-deepity comments as challenging as I find appreciating poetry?

    What's your story? Have you told it here before?

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  51. Last night, on our way back from a amusement park I got pulled over with my wife driving on LSD for playing my music too loud. We were laughing and having a great time even when they came to the window. They took a look at my drivers licence and asked how many I had to drink. I told him nothing. He asked when the last time I had a drink was. I told them two weeks ago (I just drank the night before at the comedy club). They said ok, and left. We continued racing up the mountain road it was fun.

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  52. This morning I was thinking of Soulfulpath after reading one of these spiritual journey type publications. I felt regret that her style at times offends me for I feel similarly as Birdick at times. The regret was because there are times she says something that I really like whether it makes sense or not. Artsy style, plus an effort trying to stay on the non-fighting side of the folks here (and elsewhere, I suppose). The bottomline is I really like having Soulfulpath here, so Birdick knock it off, will you?

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  53. This morning also made me want to share where I see my flaws. Heck, could use some rotten tomatoes thrown this way, a bit bored.

    My early life is far too good a girl, unfucking believable how I took everyone's word as honest and very seriously, and made sure I don't add any shit to the plate. Because my siblings were adding shit to the table and causing major fights between mom and dad, occasionally leading to some beating. Pretty much dad beat the crap out of all of them more than once (and pretty much frequency in correlation with intelligence). I did not get a single beating, stayed above his fucking expectations.

    So, can you see what kinds of flaws could follow that shitty environment?

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  54. im not a sociopath, but I find the only times I really feel regret are when i embarass myself. I hate that feeling, and try to avoid it in the future because the feeling is so pungeant when i recall it.

    To soulful, is it hard to be that melodramatic? To pull haikus, bad oes at that and I can appreciate poetry, out of thin air from a sociopath?
    I can imagine you find the structure of the haiku somewhat liberating, as all you have to do is have the right amount of syllables, and you can pretend that what you say has substance. Haikus are actually supposed to be about nature, and are used to convey an intricate complexity as it is mirrored in natural simplicity... so I'd say that was a big fail. But its cute that you can still try to be the emotio al cultural savior to the room. Please come back and try again any time, so we can find the other faults in your "creative" outlets... and creativity is no excuse for failure. Even art has to mean something.

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    Replies
    1. Ugh, art snobs. There's a reason you're the butt of all the jokes.

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  55. Maybe if you make it your story a Haiku it will seem more interesting.

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  56. Kurea,
    Do you ever struggle with being so different?

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  57. Sceli that made me laugh. I’m not doing anything to SFP other than asking questions. She might have been saying something really insightful there in that first comment, underneath all that Zen-like profundity. What’s a poor, unenlightened guy like me to do but ask questions?

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  58. I was not mad at you. I was laughing too.

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  59. You sound like the narcissist pathological girl. Il guess that you think you're exceptional.

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  60. The narcissist pathological girl. Is there a well-defined person like that or is that your less-than-perfect command of the language?

    Do I think I am exceptional? I don't think more than you think of yourself as exceptional. I find you exceptional in that here you were feeding a lowly drug dealer so he can stay afoot and fuck you once in a while and from there you land UKan. I mean, honestly, how did you pull that one off? That definitely makes you exceptional.

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  61. By the way, MaryK, it's just shits and giggles, lady. Keep your panties wet.

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  62. MaryK must be typing and spellchecking. LOL.

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  63. I want to make love today, not war

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  64. It is a big wide world with all bunch of winners out there, MaryK. You should regret that your opening up came from meeting more losers and drug dealers... But, at least you are now with the best of all dealers, the queen mary, I should say, or was that a big fat ship?

    here in your own words the regretful statement hopefully by the time you are 50:
    "because my spectrum of the world was widened by delving into the drug world and seeing so many people at their worst. Before that point I had been much more optimistic about people, but being immersed in a drug culture made me more jaded toward the people I was seeing. "

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  65. Lol. Don't worry, I'm not getting them in a bunch. I don't know if I need to be more descriptive than that as i find them all the same, but she was the girl trying to lie and say she didn't beat her boyfriend that my husband and I were fucking with. He's mentioned her. If you were to imagine a female pathological narcissist, that's pretty much what she's like. And her sense of superiority was derived from how she wasn't beaten as a child. I bet you used to fuck with your sisters too to get them in trouble. I'm sure you're a very good instigator.

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  66. Oh, well. Fine with me. Let's make dance. Can you dance as well as Haven?

    Haven, I really like too.

    Hmmm, actually I already regret having said bad stuff at MK. Sorry, baby. Just maintain your targets really well.

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  67. Sceli you make almost as much sense as Soulful.

    Almost.

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  68. Hmmm, I see your response, now. But, nope. I never fucked with my siblings (not correct to call them sisters) or mom or dad. By the way, mom got her share of the beating, if not the most violent ones, too.

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  69. Halloween is a holiday where normals pretend to be monsters and monsters pretend to love each other.

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  70. Ah, I was wondering when someone would start trying to do that.
    Lets pretend for a second that I'm OK with the fact that once I was naive; how then would that statement be regrettable to me? Do tell.

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  71. :) Medusa, that's ok, what I say is only as sensible as you can get. You just are not high enough today, too early for you.

    How is that hair doing? Up and bubbly?

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  72. Because that world that you refer to as widening your world actually will have/caused a major shrinkage in your openness to a larger world. You settled for the best of that world.

    I don't mean this as an awful thing to happen, especially because you live in the perception of doing really well. UKan is very good at convincing people around him as almost immortal. I even gain strength from his no-nonsense bullshit. He is inspirational in his own way. But, we know how much of that is bullshit and empty bravado. By the way, he reminds me a lot of my dad. I wish my mom was as crafty as you are though. She is a beeper, one of those excellent beeper moms who'd rather get beaten than be strong. The more I hear from the beepers here the more I suspect she also must have had some girls in her early life. Oh, well, I am actually happy if so since it suggests she may have done something for herself.

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  73. Whats wrong with smoking the green stuff?
    You don't like to be irie Sceli ?

    i love good vibrations...

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  74. Sweet, I just won't inhale smoke. Tried some cake/tea form but did nothing for me. I'm pretty bubbly in person, it actually made me quiet. Can't say the same about some mushroom though. Mushroom was good.

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  75. Eden must be making someone up. I wonder if she ever had an urge to cut someone's throat open when washing hair in the tub.

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  76. I am careful with edibles now. A month ago or so, my friends picked me up and we went out to this club to watch our buddy perform and I ate a hash smore in the car. I couldn't even move in the club. I sat there staring at the lights like I was on acid. Unless it is a home made cookie and I know how potent it is, I won't eat it.

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  77. :) Hash smore...

    Sounds like 'hush some more,' which it did. (This Wheatley would like, I get a kick out of his literal explanations, he is way worse than me).

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  78. Is the anon who was curious about sleeping with a woman, or better yet who was having reservations about sleeping with men despite being attracted to them here right now?

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  79. I ate the mushroom out of curiosity and really enjoyed it while it lasted. As enjoyable as it was I could tell the magnification of my emotions was huge and being the empath I am I sure do not need any magnification, just the opposite. So, decided to never go there again, and never have.

    SW is the right drug for me, where I learn to dull my emotions against people like dad and mom as in socios and beepers. Working well. I really learn a lot from how well people fit the stereotypes. Like when sweet said how she was throwing things around. I used to be horrified when my mom used to do that. Now, it'd be hilarious, but she won't do that any more. When dad gets out of line I just confront immediately and tell him he sure is the least respectful person I know. It shocks him to hear that since I doubt that being respectful is something he ever strived for. Speaking of which, Ukan, have you ever worried about being respectful?

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  80. Funny how you try to phrase insults like they are not insults, and just light-hearted humor.

    Nice completely unrelated and pointless ad hominums, by the way.

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  81. mushrooms make my stomach hurt :( i haven't eaten those in years.

    be careful about stereotyping people though Sceli. I might be a beeper but I would never allow me or my kid to get beat.

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  82. lol Medusa, my new flatmate has just moved in. Reminded me of you and your lovely BP girl u live with. :) So far, she thinks i'll be a bad influence. Hmmmmm.

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  83. sweet, I'm very glad to hear that. Mine not only went after him ridiculously to the point of getting beat but she also made us feel guilty for 'not saving her' from getting beaten.

    Medusa, Good thing you are not buying what you don't want to.

    Notme, what kind of kitty did you get? How old is it? Saw some Scottish something with very small ears, was so cute.

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  84. :) Medusa, was just thinking. Your last post is like weather report. I was more looking for rotten tomatoes today. But, thanks for trying, the stink is the same.

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  85. Here, Scottish fold.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scottish_Fold

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  86. Projecting much?

    ɱɵᴅʊsa said...
    Funny how you try to phrase insults like they are not insults, and just light-hearted humor.

    Nice completely unrelated and pointless ad hominums, by the way.
    October 31, 2011 1:07 PM

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  87. UKan, I think she did marry up, so I am really impressed with her. But you? You did not feel like getting a used model? And, by a low life?

    Awwww... Only in Halloween, baby, only in Halloween.

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  88. Used model? I guess that would make you just salvage then wouldn't it?

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  89. Not talking about me, UKan. Talking about you and what you pick up along the way. Are you a sub in the bedroom? That's what most dominant guys I know are. I'd ride you. After letting you sweep my floors really well.

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  90. We are talking about you Sceli. You are the only one talking about...whatever it is you are talking about.
    Myself, I think that you father didn't beat you because he just didn't care anymore. With narcissistic fathers they beat the children they love and ignore the ones they neglect. Funny that you were the one singled out. I wonder if he knew you were worthless from the beginning or did he influence you becoming what you are today.

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  91. I was more looking for rotten tomatoes today.

    You seem to be doing just fine on your own.

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  92. Won't work bunny, sorry.

    Too bad the kingdom saw that you cannot respond to truth. That is your truth. Your wife moved up from paying a low life dealer to a hard working dealer who pays for her school. She will move up again after graduation, don;t rush on having a baby, she'll also get you to pay for child support.

    Enough fun for today. Gotta go to a real life Halloween party.

    May all your fears come true.~.

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  93. that girl needs to smoke some weed... tone her ass down

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  94. Mystic muppets 1
    Demon puppets 0

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  95. the day is young still dear

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  96. porn!

    it's what's for dinner

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  97. I hope I'm not being too self-absorbed when I assume you're trying to make me open up a bit, Soulful. Because I'm not quite sure wether that's the case or if you're just interested in Lovecraftian-stuff.

    Anyway, I've thought about it for a while but now I'm not sure how to start. I'll just start pessimistic, and slowly start getting more optimistic.

    I think Howard (= what the 'H' in 'H.P Lovecraft' stands for) is right in 'saying' that human-morals and values mean absolutely nothing on a cosmic scale. After all: a glass is half full and half empty at the same time, isn't it? Pessimism and optimism are just human inventions; terms to categorize different ways of dealing with expectations and hope. Morals and values only really apply in man-made situations. Man's limited perspective encourages the creation of labels and limits. Even something as basic and seemingly able to withstand any metaphysical conundrum you care to throw at it as a table stops being a table at its edges only because we say it does. Humans create lines and rules, ends and beginnings, normals and abnormals everywhere they go, and they're all imaginary. Laws are only as valid as we let them be. Money only has value because we all agree it does. People only have power because we let them. When you think about it, the reasons humans do the things they do on a daily basis are only valid because of other people's reasons, and only in comparison to each other. It's like a dome: completely self-supporting, and when you take away a single piece (in this case meaning that when you start asking "Why?" all pretense of meaningful reason starts to slowly disappear) , it all comes crashing down.

    There was a fly in my room. I turned off the lights and went downstairs for some fifteen minutes. When I came back the fly was still in the same spot. This made me wonder: did the fly think it suddenly became night when I turned off the lights, and day when I turned them on again? If so: did it think it was strange that it became day so quickly? I don't think it did. Why would it? In the (from our perspective) fly's limited perspective there wouldn't even be a direct need to ask questions like that. A fly probably assumes that the world it's seeing is the way the world is, just like we do. And just as the fly is wrong in 'thinking' that, it would be extremely narrow-minded to assume that we as a race are right in thinking that what we experience is everything.

    I've... gone on a bit of a rant, and I haven't even made half the points I wanted to make yet. Just to invalidate everything I've just said and still strengthen the argument as a whole, this quote (from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, when talking about the 'Babel fish'; a creature that, when put in your ear, instantly translates everything anyone says in any language):

    'Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindboggingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the none-existence of God. The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to proof that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."
    "But," says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so thetefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that." and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic. "Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.'

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  98. Scelli, I can tell you're the one to start shit between your siblings. You love it, first of all, but you also alluded to your own amusement by it. Or the way you talk about your mother, you obviously loved being daddies little girl, but now you think you're better than him too, even though you turned out just like him. I bet you like putting tough guys into submission and beating the crap out of them and going completely insane on them until they can't stand you. I also bet youre a cheater.

    For the drug thing, I think your understanding of my perspective of the world is assumptuous and short sighted. I'm not sure how you think my being immersed in a different culture narrowed my view of reality, but I guess I can understand it as you still think that cultures vary so much as to have ones better than the others. Culture is a different emphasis on certain traits in groups or areas as enforced socially. So drug users are no different than other people and vice versa, they just value different things. So you for example think your culture is better because it is successful, but what you forget to see is that you come from a violent home in which your mothers addiction is just your father, yours is yourself, and your siblings probably have their own unique anger addictions.
    The nice thing about the drug world is that it takes all the social masks off of what people normally hide about their own culture. Just because they hide it doesn't mean it isn't there. At least the drug culture is honest. And in general they come from places like you. In fact, I've met you there. Its just where people go to expose their shadows.

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  99. @wheatly, to your point, a slightly egocentric perspective: you have observed the Boundries of the Fly and labeled it a fly. It is entirely possible that when you turned off the lights, It ceased to be a Fly and became part of "Night." When you restored the light to find the fly in the same place you should have been very gratified to learn that you were not QED Jeff Goldbloom.

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  100. the following excerpt from the Apostate by Jack London illustrates nicely interplay between regret and conscience, without remorse.

    "Once he found a silver quarter lying on the sidewalk. That, also, was a great event in his life, withal a tragic one. He knew his duty on the instant the silver flashed on his eyes, before even he had picked it up. At home, as usual, there was not enough to eat, and home he should have taken it as he did his wages every Saturday night. Right conduct in this case was obvious; but he never had any spending of his money, and he was suffering from candy hunger. He was ravenous for the sweets that only on red-letter days he had ever tasted in his life.

    He did not attempt to deceive himself. He knew it was sin, and deliberately he sinned when he went on a fifteen-cent candy debauch. Ten cents he saved for a future orgy; but not being accustomed to the carrying of money, he lost the ten cents. This occurred at the time when he was suffering all the torments of conscience, and it was to him an act of divine retribution. He had a frightened sense of the closeness of an awful and wrathful God. God had seen, and God had been swift to punish, denying him even the full wages of sin.

    In memory he always looked back upon that event as the one great criminal deed of his life, and at the recollection his conscience always awoke and gave him another twinge. It was the one skeleton in his closet. Also, being so made and circumstanced, he looked back upon the deed with regret. He was dissatisfied with the manner in which he had spent the quarter. He could have invested it better, and, out of his later knowledge of the quickness of God, he would have beaten God out by spending the whole quarter at one fell swoop. In retrospect he spent the quarter a thousand times, and each time to better advantage."

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  101. Last time I read a comment from you it was the middle of this year. You were talking about how you are a 'socio', but you won't lie and how you were having panic attacks because you did something to a enemy of yours. Pathetic.

    Well lets hope you don't crash your car on the way to the party like the other times. Let me ask you Sceli, what is it like to live with so much fear that you can't control yourself? What does your father think of your lack of courage?
    You are weak and you don't know it. Your father beat everyone in the house, except you, because you think you were special? Ha ha ha. Your a textbook narcissist.

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  102. i need a guilt free nap

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  103. How to spot narcissists?

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  104. i like Medusa's comment... they suck all the air out of the room.

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  105. they're both mesmerizing and tedious, like the water swirling when you drain the tub.

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  106. UKanned misspelled You're what a failure he is
    i will now party hard because im awesome

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  107. I thought you were already at the party Sceli. Did you go home early because it was too much for you? Wouldn't want your delicate little self passing out in front of everyone. That would be embarrassing wouldn't it?

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  108. Harv said...

    My moral code is based on if they can lock me up or not.
    October 31, 2011 5:31 AM

    Lol. I like this (and am fairly the same.)

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  109. Come on you didnt fall for that did you?

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  110. unlike the narcissist, the bathtub eventually finishes draining...

    the narcissist would too except there is a heck of a lot of oxygen around. you never get to see it

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  111. narcissists are envious and obsessive of people who pay them no attention. they use the people who actually like them.

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  112. Sceli, don't you feel a moral responsibility to your parents? Don't you want to care for them in their old age? especially since you're the favorite? Don't you feel its your responsibility to be nice to your parents now, and help them out of the emotional state they're in?

    I know that you're obviously the favorite, and the one that all of the hopes of the family rest on. Do you think it disappoints your father to think that his daughter is going to let down the family in carrying on his legacy?

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  113. Sceli, are you a narcissist? is that what this is about?

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  114. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlvQurqd_TQ

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  115. Sceli, I can hear you laughing at the foolishness.
    I'm laughing with you.

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  116. i'm sorry tik. i just can't get into your mind.

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  117. @Weatley

    You were not self-aborbed as much as you were like a genie released from a bottle. ;-)

    I abhor the overuse of labels for they do serve yet they can be such a crutch. Some terms to me seem like boxes, convenient yet constrained. Yet how would we ever get through a day without some common agreed upon understanding.

    Yes, both pessimism and optimism can be both equally effective strategies. Interesting how malleable language, opinion and perspective are.

    You answered in a "what is" prose. Now, I dare you to try to answer in a "why." Such as why are you attracted to this world view. Is it innate or are you just keeping yourself occupied

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  118. eden your head is too big for your body in that pic,
    and your eyes are HUGE. They take up your whole face. I like the other pic. Will you change it back for me? Please, Eden? Pleaese? Pretty pretty please?

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  119. It's my Halloween picture... and my answer is no.

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  120. A world view that one WANTS to adopt is a wish for the best of both worlds. I cannot explain.

    But if we were all told to throw our shoes in the middle of the room , and that we had 5 seconds to decide before the story was over, what would you all do? Would you grab your own shoes back, or would you grab another's ?

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  121. My former Narc boss and my Narc grandmother can both tell jokes, even mock THEMSELVES--so they do show humanity that way (and their company is more enjoyable)

    My psychopath had ZERO humor. He liked ridiculing others cruelly... and most people didn't consider his "humor" funny. (Personally, I'd send him an "ROFLMAO" to him just so his Daddy could decode it for him) He couldn't endure being mocked. If he saw me laughing, he'd accuse me of not taking him or life seriously. He'd cruelly mock my "cackling." He'd say he didn't mock himself because he took himself seriously. He liked the senior skit when it mocked his colleagues... however, when it

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  122. You scared me all pale skinny.

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  123. The ex P wanted to kill my sense of humor

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  124. The Manolo Blahnik's are mine. Even if they are not.

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  125. No, you want to know scary? I accidentally clicked on a link while rubbing one out today for big beatutiful women with scat fetishes. I am still trying to recover.

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  126. a guess a narcissist would like the entire room to look his/her way, so will go out of the way to try to be funny, especially if it is all he/she has to offer.

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  127. scat fetishes? Like Ella Fitz?

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  128. "Rub one out?" One of my exes used to say that. I repeated that phrase to a later bf and I think that was a mistake lol.

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  129. narc paranoid are we today?

    no i actually like the way Eden's eye make up is done and I don't think it is scary. it's Halloween jeesh

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  130. I don't know, it was fat women with poo. It was appalling...this place is deader than a door nail, it could use some humor.

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  131. the ego is closed minded. intolerant of other views. and maniacally envious.

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  132. whats wrong dorothy, you don't like some humor?

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  133. Some of the patients have scat fetishes. They are heavily medicated or who knows what could happen? I don't want to find out. That is for darn sure.

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  134. You know I'm not capable of feeling guilt so it may come across as hollow but I actually do have some sort of cognitive regret. The notion that "at one point it was exactly what you wanted to do" sort of misses the fact that we learn and broaden our awareness as we get older.

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  135. ^ We don't need medication, and we don't need hospitalization either. Those of us that fail fail because society has failed to properly account for us and factor in that "because I said so" and "just feel bad" wasn't good enough.

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  136. I'm not a sociopath, I came here to do an end-of-year assignment on synonyms and antonyms. (I also found the difference between sympathy and empathy here) And I have a funny little story. I was at McDonalds and I had three Big Macs and a large drink. I regret that decision very much because it made me blow chunks. I did not feel remorseful about throwing my sisters happy meal toy and sending her and mom into a hilarious frenzy.

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