Thursday, October 20, 2011

Tracking psychopath's language patterns online

The following is going to sound absurd to some of you, and very promising to others. Cornell professor Jeff Hancock University of Critish Columbia professors Michael T. Woodworth and Stephen Porter have come up with a text analysis system that they believe may be able to pick out sociopaths in something as short as a 140 character "tweet." As reported by the NY Daily news:
A New York professor who studied the tell-tale speech patterns of psycho killers is broadening his research to see if tweets, texts and emails reveal similar tendencies.

That could help detectives identify murder suspects through their social media and online postings - and develop strategies for grilling them in the interrogation room.

"I do think some of these tools will be used by law enforcement," Cornell's Jeffrey Hancock said at a briefing Monday about his research.

The core of the study involves interviews with 56 convicted killers in a maximum security Canadian prison - including 18 who were certified psychopaths.

Hancock and co-author Michael Woodworth of the University of British Columbia used linguistics analysis to parse the transcripts. They noticed several trends. The psychopaths used the past tense more often than the others, suggesting a higher degree of detachment from the crime - a hallmark of the disorder. They also peppered their speech with verbal stumbles like "uh" and "um," showing it was difficult for them to talk about an emotional event. The researchers knew that psychopaths often view their killings as a means to an end - not an emotional reaction - and that was borne out in their language. They used cause-and-effect words like "so" and "because" more often than non-psychopaths - and focused on material needs instead of social needs like love and family. "Psychopaths talked a lot about what they ate that day [of the murder]," Hancock said. "They talked about money more often."

As a followup, the profs are now having student volunteers submit their online communications and fill out a survey that measures their psychopathic tendencies. They hope the exercise will determine if the language patterns used in social media can show whether a person is a psychopath. That could be a valuable tool for investigators because much of language is unconscious - and less likely to be manipulated by psychopaths, who can be incredibly cunning. "You can spend two or three hours with a psychopath and come out of there feeling like you've been hypnotized," he said. "It's definitely time for a glass of wine and a shower."
Or from the Daily News:
Psychopaths also used more subordinating conjunctions like ‘because’ which is explained by their interest in cause and effect.

The report says: ‘This pattern suggested that psychopaths were more likely to view the crime as the logical outcome of a plan (something that 'had' to be done to achieve a goal)’.
Uh, that reminds me of last night when I spent so much money on dinner because I was starving and I was wearing coveralls, since I was worried about the blood.

18 certified psychopaths? Even if you took large language samples from each of these prisoners (emphasis on prisoner), I imagine that it would be very difficult to show that these similarities were actually correlated to the isolated variable "psychopath." Law of large numbers, anyone? Also, the language was taken from having people describe their crimes. Luckily I don't ever talk about mine on Twitter so I should be fine...

225 comments:

  1. Canadian tax dollars hard at work. Eat your hearts out ya damn Canucks.

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  2. You can tell a sociopath when you act sad in front of them and instead of sympathy from them they just stare at you, curious.

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  3. That would be considered a sign of respect in some circles.

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  4. I don't see how this study is valid.
    The speach patterns are so vague.
    They could be anyone.

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  5. The best line in the whole postOctober 20, 2011 at 6:56 AM

    "You can spend two or three hours with a psychopath and come out of there feeling like you've been hypnotized," he said.

    "It's definitely time for a glass of wine and a shower."

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  6. Don't they contradict themselves in the same sentence? Don't they say things that mean 2 different things at the same time, and then they explain the reason irrationally, or something? Isn't it some kind of a communication breakdown, and doesn't that occur when they are guilty of an action they truly believe in one part of their brain was "just" but they know in another part of the brain that it may not be just - like when they're being interrogated?

    Is that why an aware psychopath will pause before speaking, so they can correct this weird wording in advance?

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  7. You know something? I remember a test they gave me in the hospital the first time I was brought in high as a kite, full blown manic, and I was scared shit when I failed it. I freaked out because my brain wasn't working.

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  8. Bella stop raising your hand every minute with every stupid thing that pops into your head. You're not even aware of how you grate on our nerves, you stupid cunt.

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  9. Clearly I care not what you think, Ukan Team. This is a public blog. Suck it up and skip what I say. Do you think I honestly care what goes on in your head about me? I am behind my computer rolling my eyes when you speak most of the time and you don't even know it.

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  10. Good point Bella!

    Also they knew who the S/P were in the prison, aprison seeting and talking about their crime would be completely different then texts and e-mails where their working on suducing a victim.

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  11. That is one narcissistic cunt right there.

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  12. TIk I don't know why you suck up to that blah blah blah.

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  13. Lets have a hearty discussion about cock......

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  14. Funny thing. Remember that Erin Pavlina psychic lady who was set up as SW's Erin for a while? Well apparently she was actually on the site at some point and there's this whole forum thread with her and other people's reaction to it. Even the people on this forum think Ami is a retard:

    http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/erin-pavlina/64701-erin-did-you-post-here.html

    Apparently the whole thing ruffled some feathers and this Erin Pavlin caught some shit because of it. Haha.

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  15. Language is a social construction as such it is utilized very differently by a someone with sociopathic tendencies  and while usually considered a strength, is also an Achilles.  (Diagnosis by tweet is just sensationalism)    From the bottom, areas of interest include causality, object relations, perspective mining &  persuasion.  Will expound later.

    *Loves when You poke it with a stick*

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  16. The lady doth protest too much October 20, 2011 at 9:03 AM

    Yes, let's talk about cock, right after I see your bloodwork.  You're Arian right?

    Wv: subcla

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  17. lol. Cock cock cock cock cock cock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    TLDPTM I fucking hate fake Arians, especially when they're mascarading. Fuckin Jews with dyed blond hair nosejobs and blue contact lenses. Manipulative bitches.

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  18. IMO, sociopaths love when you poke them with a stick, AND love to poke.

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  19. Or is that the narcissist, In the Bell Jar?

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  20. Gratey gratey grate grate grate. That's all I can say

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  21. Gimee attention. I want it. I want your attention Ukan Team can't you see how much?

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  22. Is it true Bella? are you a narcissist?

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  23. No. I don't think so. Maybe sometimes? I really don't think so. I can usually tell when I am around them that I am different, and I don't like them. I thought I might be an inverted narc but now I think I just like people who are smart.

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  24. I read an article, or maybe somewhere in a book; that Bipolar people have a special speech pattern.
    They went on to say, that they think it's why so many of them go on to become writers. They are attracted to certain patterns, and rhythms they can read, or write.

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  25. Bella

    Isn't an inverted narcissist a codependent?

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  26. @Eden that may be true but it doesn't necessarily mean they'll be good writers. Have you ever read An Unquiet Mind? Written by a bipolar woman about being bipolar, very flowery, very not anything I would choose to read more of.

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  27. I am pretty sure narcissists don't like to be poked with sticks.

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  28. It wasn't just written by a Bipolar woman. She's a Psychologist who specializes in mood disorders, and suffers from Bipolar herself.
    That book was her memoir. The one she co-wrote before that is: Touched With Fire.

    I've read both. Some parts of her memoir was beautiful, but for the most part, it was rather dull.

    And you're right to say that it doesn't mean they will be good writers... but then... they weren't saying they would be either, and neither was I.

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  29. Don't get me wrong, not trying to put words into your mouth or anything.

    I just didn't enjoy that particular book at all.

    Along these lines... have you ever noticed the correlation of artistic talent to mental disorders? I'm not saying that all artists have mental problems, this obviously isn't the case, but I know I write my most moving poetry or get completely swept away by my painting when I'm in a more emotionally turbulent place. I wonder fi there's actually something to that or if it's just my projection. Hm.

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  30. I've had Touched With Fire on my reading list for a while.

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  31. I have noticed. That was what the book: Touched With Fire, explored.
    The correlation between the manic mind, and creativity.

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  32. This is all really toooo deep for me. I gained an interest in this because I have discovered that my sons father is a sociopath. Heres a question, how do you get away from a sociopath when you share a child? He refuses to go away and just leave us alone. But after knowing him for 8 years, I know that he means no good to me,to most people, most definitely not his family. Hes kinder to a stranger. I don't want him around my son. Are any of you parents? How do i get away from this living hell?

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  33. I am not an expert by any means, but I do have direct experience with sociopaths and empaths alike.

    In my view, it is exceedingly easy to discern a sociopath from his/her written communication style.

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  34. Why don't you ask the State that question. He has legal rights, does he not? And you don't say he harms your child.
    I think you're full of shit to tell you the truth... but that's just me.

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  35. Anon, live with others if you can that can won't put up with him. Start dating cops.

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  36. I think this post makes a lot of sense, as you can gather mannerisms about a person to determine who and how they are. Speech is an incredibly detailed mannerism that can give away tons of information about a person. Like profiling people on their writing. There are direct links between peoples style and who they are inwardly that can be measurable. Now they just have to distinguish the traits that are indicated by which patterns. I think its a fascinating study!

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  37. "I think you're full of shit to tell you the truth... but that's just me."

    Why would you think that, when I haven't given you one detail of our situation? Sounds like my concern hits too close to home. Are you someone elses a@$h0!+?

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  38. you can gather mannerisms about a person to determine who and how they are

    We do it a lot here.

    That bannanna bread was good.

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  39. No, you interuted their book club.

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  40. Why would you think that, when I haven't given you one detail of our situation?

    You gave plenty of details. If he keeps harrassing you unlawfully then you would have called the police, given how much you hate him. So I assume he didn't. You say he doesn't care about his family, but he wants to see his son. How does that make any sense? It seems that if he doesn't love you anymore he doesn't love anyone in your eyes.

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  41. Wasn't it amazing!? Best banana bread I think I've made. Will you over it so it doesn't dry out? We'll have french banana bread tomorrow. :* I love you bunny.

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  42. "Sounds like my concern hits too close to home. Are you someone elses a@$h0!+?"


    You Would think something like that, but that's just because you're an idiot, and can't see how much you gave away about your own self, just from one flimsily written paragraph.

    You trying to set up a trap? Don't. You're not good at it.

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  43. I would be careful slinging around that word "asshole" around here. Some people might get a little excited.

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  44. The world has just become a little bit less exciting. I propose a two-minute silence in memory of the late general Mohamar Quadhaffi.

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  45. funny. I was just wondering minutes ago, if someone would bring up Quadhaffi here, today

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  46. Speaking of food, I have been binge eating these chocolate dipped rice crispy treats I made with my kid yesterday for Halloween.

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  47. How do you and your narcissitic husband manage to compete for attention?

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  48. It doesn't matter what you think I gave up about myself. If you have a question about how I have come to this place with him, ask. Dont assume. I am simply seeking advice on how to deal with this man that has turn out to be my enemy.

    And, "trying to set up a trap", okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk..........

    how bout we just stick to the subject, which is the question asked..

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  49. Stick to the subject. Fat chance lol

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  50. You say you want him to leave you and your child alone. Can't legally force him to unless he's a danger to the two of you. Now you say you want to learn how to deal with him... and you came to a Sociopath blog to get advice about that? Ridiculous. If this was serious enough to you, I would think you'd seek professional help.

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  51. Manage to compete for attention from who?

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  52. Seeing as your first claim was that this place is too deep for you though, you may not be able to comprehend the advise given you here, anyway.

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  53. Another assumption Eden.......

    My lawyer just left court with him on monday. The problem is that he lies so much, I don't think he even remembers the truth.

    And whenever we come into a physical altercation he is gone before the police show up.

    I am just stunned how deep his malice goes. For years I was confused about his rational, but now, I am starting to get it.

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  54. "My lawyer just left court with him on monday."

    uhhhh why does this sentence make sense?

    Left where? To lunch? Is your Lawyer his Lawyer too? Why don't you just spit your whole story out instead of making us fish for it??

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  55. To celebrate, here is some old school Snoop!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_TcszezOVE&feature=fvst

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  56. @ Eden, because they are making it up as they up along.

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  57. * drop the extra up

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  58. Think before you speak/type Eden. The sentence isn't that hard to comprehend. Obviously, My -- Lawyer -- left-- a --court-- room with-- a-- judge-- in-- a --trail-- against-- him/my-- sons father-- on-- Monday.

    Do you get it now?

    And, are you really too arrogant to ask a question?

    you know what they say about people who assume......

    Anyway, stop talking to me, you are starting to remind me of him. A never ending rant of arrogance trying to be in control or admired but ultimately leading urself to a closed door. You guys would either be best friends in crime or kill each other for world domination.

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  59. ^^ LOL, wow, overreaction much?

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  60. What's the matter Eden? You seem a lot less cheerful and peppy than a few days ago.

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  61. because, if you have something worth while to say, say it.

    if you don't, don't say anything. its simple..... be quiet.

    Sarcasm is a waste of time.

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  62. Eden seems to be taken down a peg or two.

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  63. Anyway, to everyone else in the room.

    How do you find even playing ground with a sociopath or is it truly impossible?

    I'm thinking it is impossible

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  64. "Sarcasm is a waste of time."

    You're either a bitter aspie, or the least interesting person in the world...

    And I'm not sure wether you picked up on it or not (or wether you're typing an answer right now or not); but I am genuinely curious.

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  65. You have to have something t hat the sociopath wants in order for him to be nice to you.

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  66. It's cock talk time!!!!!!!!!!!

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  67. Lets all suck cocks :D

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  68. Even playing ground with a sociopath is bipassing altogether the rules they break. If they're willing to break rules, you have to be able to deflect that.

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  69. What's long, hard and full of semen?

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  70. UkaneyMisses
    How? Give examples.

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  71. oh. ive been waiting on your advice UKaney.

    yes, please do give an example.

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  72. all of my opposites to him has created total destruction. We don't talk, which is great. But still, sharing a child you are liable to cross paths and he refuses to compromise and respect.

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  73. he resents me for leaving. But was both verbally and physically abusive when I was there. Now, he just tries to use our child as a means to control me.

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  74. I'm just going to continue talking, seeing that it's so quiet and dull here.

    Speech pattern analysis is actually pretty useful. For example: you can tell wether someone is lying or not by certain tells in their stories. I don't quite remember all of them--it's in a book somewhere but I can't really be bothered to look it up at the moment--but it included things like using the past tense a lot and using a lot of verbs that indicate movement or motion. Liars also tend to use the phrase "To tell you the truth" more than average. And before you call bullshit; the FBI uses these techniques when they analyse testimonies and confessions, so they're pretty confident in its effectiveness.

    That said: the applications for the stuff mentioned in the article seem rather limited. Someone has to be talking about a crime first, and only then can they be diagnosed as a sociopath? Not to mention the reliability. Or better yet: lack thereof.

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  75. It sounds like you're putting your needs above your kids. What sounds worse to you. Having to deal with your ex, or your child growing up without a father?

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  76. Yes!! Stacey's here!! More jokes!!! :D

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  77. it sounds like you're just weak, and so is he. Perhaps a control freak. Resentment isn't a sociopathic trait. Maybe he just has a temper.

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  78. it is actually the exact opposite. He is putting his needs above our childs. His need to be a dictator. This is the only way he is comfortable. Is that a healthy environment for a child to grow up in?

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  79. "What's the matter Eden? You seem a lot less cheerful and peppy than a few days ago."

    I'm sick with the plague. All doped up on medication. I'm very sensitive to any kind of drug.

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  80. ok. ukaney. i respect your opinion. ill take that. :)

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  81. Ask my husband for examples. He'll tell you I'm too general. He's the one that's good with specifics.

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  82. Do drugs make you feel detached from your children, Eden? Do you do drugs? I meant to ask you about a few symbols I was confused on.

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  83. Dictator? If that's the case the chikds fucked, because you also seem to be a basket case. Your using your child as a weapon to get back at him. Seems pretty callous if you ask me.

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  84. That's an interesting point, Misanthrope.

    My pops was a Narcissist, so let's call that half a parent. He kept food in my stomach and a roof over my head for most of when he raised me, but that's about it. So how would a sociopath father measure out to? 3/4's? Less? More? :p

    When did you slap him the first time? Right around the same time the beatings began? Poor girl.

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  85. Are most sociopaths really TALL the ones i know are really TALL!

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  86. "My pops was a Narcissist, so let's call that half a parent. He kept food in my stomach and a roof over my head for most of when he raised me, but that's about it"

    Wow, what a callous bastard.

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  87. Wben do you think you stopped viewing it as a bargaining chip instead of a child, towards the end of the relationship or after the break up?

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  88. Who's more easy to manipulate, a narcissist or a girl with an eating disorder?

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  89. Back to speech patterns: Don't forget all the stuttering that goes along with the stupid medicine they give patients with mental illnesses.

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  90. No... I stay away from drugs. They make it harder for me to keep my sanity. I like to be able to predict my moods.
    I usually won't even take cold medicine unless I'm really ill. I'm pretty fucking sick right now... have to be half-dead for it to get to me. And if I think it will help me continue to function; I'll break down and take meds.

    I actually felt somewhat more connected with people when I used drugs. It's not worth losing my ability to function though.

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  91. i guess it would be easy to manipulate a narcissist, by giving them attention, but when you do that they think you are extension of them.

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  92. Did you used to be an addict? Or would you say you used drugs regularly?

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  93. The beepers are always strung out on something, socios i know are all straight laced.

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  94. No. I have always enjoyed being sober more. You know... the control thing. ;p

    I did go through a period where I binged on booze once or twice a month, but after I got an aggravated DUI, I cut the booze off for the most part. I was self medicating back then, cuz I didn't know how to deal with my mania.

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  95. I get strung out on my head. Don't need the drugs! lol

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  96. "The beepers are always strung out on something, socios i know are all straight laced."

    that's bullshit

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  97. "that's bullshit"

    sociopaths have too much self respect to abuse themselves.

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  98. explain? emotional people numb themselves with substances.

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  99. Drugs can be used to enhance emotions too.

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  100. as much as you ladies would like sociopaths to join in the self destruction parade with you, it's not going to happen.

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  101. sociopaths realize the stigma attached to using drugs, so they avoid them at all costs. a sociopath is a master of impression.

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  102. The diagnostic criteria for Sociopaths includes substance abuse anon. Do some fucking research.

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  103. antisocial personalities are prone to substance abuse, not psychopaths.

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  104. Self destruction parade?

    LOL. you know what I am doing anon, I am laying with my cat watching "Flight of the Living Dead" and then I am going to make a casserole for dinner. I went to the grocery store and the bank today. Yesterday was not much different, except I had a glass of wine with dinner.

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  105. Lol. The anons got a sense of humor. Sociopaths have the foresight to not do drugs. And they follow social stigma. And they aren't self destructive. If they aren't just retarded its really Amusing.

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  106. ukaney, that is true. of course sociopaths follow social stigma.

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  107. Lol. That's like saying sociopaths are polite. Well mannered. And thattheyarent impulsive enough to experiment with drugs becausetheyunderstand and consider seriously the long term effects. Have you ever met a sociopath? If You think they follow social standards, and constantly consider their health and well being in a long term scale, I doubt you have.

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  108. i'm speaking of the intelligent ones.

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  109. Don't get me wrong, I can get a little manic and frisky, but its not like I smoke crack in the morning and burn down my neighbors house because I was feeling too emotional.

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  110. psychopaths know how to blend in more than anyone. have you ever seen a psychopath who was a goth, or part of a sub culture? never.

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  111. You must be well versed in the Sacred Scrolls of Sociopathy, anon. You follow all of the precipes.

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  112. was that sarcasm?

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  113. Why are so many aspies attracted to this blog?

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  114. No. I'm surprised you haven't read it. Its in the faq section.

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  115. i'm not an aspie, it can be hard to understand sarcasm on the internet. i frequently and snidely use sarcasm myself.

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  116. i don't like your attitude.

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  117. All these emotions are over coming me!

    Should I put in peas or chopped carrots? It's all too confusing.

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  118. I'm sceptical about this, but its long been noted that there is indeed something unusual about the way psychopaths use of language ie semantic aphasia. The problem is how is an observer supposed to tell the difference between the semantic aphasia of 'paths and its equivalent in people who are on the autism spectrum.

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  119. You've never seen a sociopath as part of a sub culture? Seriously, have you EVER met a sociopath?
    You're speaking unintelligently I think is what you meant. Your generalizations and stereotypes are narrow at best. And frankly they're dumb.

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  120. Steve jobs just got assassinated.

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  121. "You've never seen a sociopath as part of a sub culture? Seriously, have you EVER met a sociopath?"

    about ten and all were normal, in appearance.

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  122. Holy ravioli! How have you been blessed at knowing so many?

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  123. And all so close to each other in the same social sect! How did they get along?

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  124. This guy is clearly messing with you, as much as you're messing with him.

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  125. But it's fun. For all parties. Silly isn't always stupid. :P

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  126. I think he needs a hug. I need one. That's why I'm so emotional and fragile.

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  127. (((Hugs))) My sweet Friend!

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  128. @UKaneyMisses

    I've been having dreams about killing babies since I was very young. That's what my poetry reflects when I write about children, and death. It's not about my daughter. I just wanted you to know that.

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  129. Typically babies in dreams represent new ideas or creative undertakings, but I imagine that not to be the case here. Sounds like you may have your own symbolism associated with killing babies. Perhaps its your inner child... I was more curious about the needle. What does the image of the needle evoke in your head?

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  130. You seem to have a soft spot about being a bad mother. You seemed confident at first but something seems a bit unsure now. That was almost defensive. I was just suggesting the coldness you feel toward your relationship with your daughter, which you admitted to. Now it seems like something else altogether. You expressed fears of losing your children, too. What would you do to lose them?

    A baby or baby-related items can represent the need for self-nurturing, or responsibility for yourself or others.

    Dreaming that you are pregnant or that you have a baby you don't have in real life can mean:

    You could benefit from paying more attention to your own needs, especially those of your inner child Taking on responsibility for someone else or taking on too much responsibility You are contemplating having a baby or spending time around young children

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  131. The dead baby may be her.

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  132. lol I used to draw my own blood out when I was a teenager. I'd put it in bottles and add alcohol so it wouldn't coagulate. Then I'd decorate the bottles, and give them as a token of my love.

    Sometimes I wrote my poetry in blood. It represents how much I'm willing to sacrifice when it comes to showing my devotion, to only one.

    Since people always associate love as coming from the heart; what better way to siphon such a love than through the vein.

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  133. What if your daughter did that Eden?

    From everything you've said, you were never a child or allowed to be.

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  134. Hows that working out for ya? Do people like getting bottles of blood as a love token? And is it something you still do? Did giving blood get turned down? Is that why you don't attach anymore?

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  135. I just don't want people seeing me as someone who can't nurture their children. My ex-mother-in-law took me to court. From the day I gave birth to my first, she was constantly looking for a way to take her from me. She said I was devoid of the emotions necessary to take proper care of her.
    She told everyone I would probably end up abusing her, like my father did me. Or neglecting her....

    Everyone has always doubted me as a mother, and as a partner. Even my friends. They all thought I'd be locked away long before now.

    I'm just tired of it. Being a mother is the only thing I've done exceptionally well, and people want to take that from me because of what I am.

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  136. The bottles of blood seem symbolic of her great desire and need TO attach.

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  137. Do you think your daughter knows what you are?

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  138. I only gave my blood to sick people. People as twisted as me, or worse. It was never turned down, and that was a long time ago.

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  139. Lol. The bottles of blood are symbolic of her attachment. They are love to her. Did you ever give your blood to your daughter, or is that a habit you gave up?
    You must love bram stokers dracula.

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  140. I gave that up at 19. It was for shock value. To those who received them; it was seen as romantic. ;p

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  141. killing

    Killing or wanting to kill often represents a desire for power or control, often based in feelings of powerlessness. Killing someone can mean:

    You'd like to take power from whomever or whatever that person represents in your real life, perhaps so you can feel less powerless You are angry at them in real life You're feeling unwilling to deal with the problems or hassles you feel they cause you

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  142. I don't have to give my blood to her. My feelings for her are genuine.

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  143. The giving of the bottles of blood is... well...kinda beautiful in its own way. It's really unique.

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  144. Were you attached to them?

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  145. But you said they weren't?

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  146. I love my children. I am not as attached as a normal mother. I only know that when they aren't with me because I don't miss them... but I do feel deeply for them. As deep as I am capable.

    I know how confusing that must be for everyone, but that's the best i can do at conveying my relationship with them.

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  147. When I say I don't genuinely care for people, I am not talking about my children. My children opened something up in me. I was able to feel more than I ever had... but it wasn't a cure.

    Why does everything have to be so absolute? At least I'm aware of all this. How many mothers out there have no clue what they are, or why?

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  148. The psychopaths used the past tense more often than the others, suggesting a higher degree of detachment from the crime

    I always find it peculiar when people speak in present tense about things that happened in the past. They'll go: "And I go over to the guy and..."; in my eyes it seems like a forced attempt to make something present which isn't. But I guess they think the same way about me when I speak in the past tense about things that happened in the past. Apparently I'll have to re-think my grammar.

    The core of the study involves interviews with 56 convicted killers in a maximum security Canadian prison - including 18 who were certified psychopaths.

    Maybe we'll now get a certificate for being a 'Psychopath Killer', somewhat like others get certificates for being 'Soldier Killer' or 'Hunter Killer'.

    Only, in their case the word 'killer' is left out whereas in our case it gets emphasized.

    Oh well.

    I think the prospects of this idea are more than one. F.x., there are people with killer profile personalities who never actually killed. They'll get the same treatment as the rest of us when this technique gets more commonly used.

    In my opinion, using it based on as short a text body as a tweet is absurd, and must be so also from a frightened neurotypical mainstream point of view.

    Thanks for some good info yet again, M.E.!

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  149. I'm not actually attacking your parenting or mothering. I'd guess you have a favorite child, but I didn't say that. I just detect a nerve. You're very explicative about it without any questions. It seems like maybe you're afraid they're right about you.

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  150. No. They're not right about me. I know that for a fact. That's why when my ex-in-laws said they were going to have be investigated, I called their bluff, and told them to call CPS. They never did.

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  151. And I don't feel like you are attacking me about my parenting... it's the other bitches on here who always attack me. Like Tik, Sceli, and TNP.

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  152. I think it sounds like a common issue for you. When was the last. Time you felt a connection to someone. Or yourself?

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  153. 5 years ago. I had this relationship with someone for almost 5 years. It's the longest I've even been with a partner, and I'll be 37 this Saturday. He was a junkie and an alcoholic. He was somewhat aloof and distant at times, which made me feel calm. At other times he was like a child with a death wish... which complimented my mania. He suffered a lot of depression, and so much disappointment. His hatred for himself was fascinating to me. He once got so drunk, and so angry; he ran himself into a tree on purpose.

    I wanted to touch his rage, and depression. I wanted to nestle inside all those intense emotions and make a home there. He was so lost. Always this confusion with what his identity was. I tried to help him find himself, and some things stuck. He was the only lover I had that could hold me while I slept.

    I always sleep facing the door. Always wanting to feel free enough to run out if I need to... or ready to fight if someone should burst through that door, with the intent to harm.

    I'm always ready for war.

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  154. You need to get a tempurpedic mattress.

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  155. That isn't intimate, it's maternal. Is this before you had your children?

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  156. No. My oldest child is 14 yrs old. My second child is still a baby. I don't know what intimate is then. I thought what I had with him was real. It was enough for me, but I didn't want a junkie around my child. I cut him off once his addictions overwhelmed every aspect of who he was.

    My daughter was 8 when I broke with him.

    Explain intimacy to me.

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  157. Using the present tense in a situation where the past would be more appropriate is called the historical present tense. It's supposed to make the listener feel like they are more involved in the story, draw them in. If you practice enough, you can learn to use almost any aspect of societal structure effectively, including different speech patterns. The trick is not looking like a fool while you're still learning.

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  158. Was that when you felt more from drugs?

    It seems like you have need for misery.

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  159. You let your children, of that impressionable an age around your kids and you think you're a good mother? Your son was entering the age of drug discovery and you thought a junkie would be a good role model?

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  160. *Around a junkie.

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  161. Misery is all I've ever been around. And yet, I feel the opposite most of the time. I don't identify with those miserable souls, nor can I feel pity. It just feels like home. I know the correct reactions in the face of misery.

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  162. Sorry, I misread that regarding ages. I'm multitasking. But your child you thought could be around a junkie?

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  163. This you threw out the misery part of yourself out. You, then, find it in others. That is called reaction formation.

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  164. Its familiar to you. So you seek it to understand what you can't get past inside of your head. People put themselves in positions like that as a means of projection. It puts the same reality before them so they can learn from it and react differently. When they can react differently and understand themselves they move forward in their lives and decisions. People are like broken records with themselves until they learn what they need to from the situations they put themselves in.

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  165. He wasn't like that when we first started dating. It wasn't till the end of our relationship that he became a junkie.

    That's not uncommon. For people to get involved with someone who seems to only use recreationally, and then it becomes something else later on.

    Out of the nearly 5 years I was with him, he only lived with me for a year.

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  166. http://www.facebook.com/hailleyw. Eden's daughter

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  167. The last year?
    Did you use occasionally while you were with him?

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  168. I did. Why do you put the link up to my daughter's FB, anon? What are you trying to prove?

    @UKaneymisses

    I grew up in New Mexico. I lived there till 4 years ago. You can't get away from addiction there. Drug and alcohol addiction, is higher there than the majority of the United States. It's a cultural defect. I moved my daughter to Texas to get away from all of that.

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  169. Your the one that put it on Socioworld.

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  170. No I didn't. I never posted that link. It's always been some anon who posts it. So why did you feel like you needed to post it?

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  171. Here's an interesting statistic about New Mexico:

    New Mexico: antisocial claim based on lowest ranking in social heath policies

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  172. You re- create the pain of being pushed away by pushing others away.

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  173. youre nieces and nephews look happy.

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  174. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  175. They love to have their pictures taken.

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  176. Eden

    Did it take you awhile to realize that you were a mother in your heart? Obviously you knew you gave birth, but when did the reality hit you?

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  177. It hit me right away. Like a ton of bricks...
    I hated children before I had my own. I always thought it would be better not to have children. I was happy to be wrong.

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  178. It took me about 7 months for it to fully hit me. I knew I was a mother and I would do anything for my son, but at about 7 months I remember thinking "when is this going to end?". then it hit me, that I had to be more than a caretaker and be a Mom and it would never end. I think this was maybe due to my son having colic, but I am not sure. I too never enjoyed children and had no experience with them prior to my son, but I wouldn't trade being a mother for anything now.

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  179. Eden you are inspirational. I wonder if/how people in the real world want to be close to you. You are a delectable untouchable. Do you feel vulnerable? Are you aware that you are attractive because you are strong?

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  180. A poem I wrote my eldest in 2006:



    Motherhood
    A small joy swells till the ribcage hurts and tears of anticipation form.
    A living thing blooming inside... and hope grows.
    A second heart beat, another soul attached.
    The movement of a butterfly becomes the movement of a fish, becomes the movement of baby girl...
    How I cherish all the days that go back to that day
    When I was your cocoon.

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  181. @Bella

    I don't really know how to respond to people when they tell me how they see me. In truth, anyone who gets close to me, seems to idealize me. They make me out to be some kind of alien. This only makes me feel like they are making me even more separate from them, than I already feel. I guess there is a part of me that never trusts what people say to me; good or bad. If they said nothing at all, I would at least feel like they are being realistic. Their reality of me, never matches my reality of myself. And it's my reality which matters most to me.

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  182. @sweet

    It probably was because of the colic. Most parents who have a colicky baby, suffer from serious sleep deprivation, and endless anxiety. It's a lot to take on, and they just feel helpless, and out of control.

    At least that's what my sister, and a few other mothers told me.

    It's never easy when they're babies, sweet. Give yourself a break already. You're not fucking it up. Lots of mothers don't bond right away.

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  183. Oh I am not in worry mode tonight, I was just wondering.

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  184. As far as being vulnerable goes...
    Isn't it obvious after tonight's thread? My children are my experience of being vulnerable.

    In my youth, I felt vulnerable when people would show me affection. A slap in the face felt normal. A hug felt like a violation of something pure. I didn't want to be touched in that way.

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