Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Calculated authenticity

I thought this NY Times article about the changing definition of "authentic," as the "it" value amongst those trendsetters and powerbrokers that command the most of our collective attention.
“I THINK what people see in me is that I’m a real person,” Representative Michele Bachmann told ABC News, after her victory in Iowa last month. “I’m authentic.”

Discussing his new daytime television show, Anderson Cooper told The Vancouver Sun that “in everything I’ve done, I’ve always tried to just be authentic and real.”

Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York, told The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette in July that “if you fear what people think about you, then you are not being authentic.”
***
“What you can’t do is be told by a social media guru to act authentic and still be authentic,” said Jeff Pooley, an associate professor of media and communication at Muhlenberg College in Allentown, Pa. He said authenticity today is more accurately described as “calculated authenticity” — a k a stage management.

“The best way to sell yourself is to not appear to be selling yourself,” Professor Pooley said. Politicians do it. Celebrities do it. And you, reader, do it every time you tap out a status update on Twitter, Facebook, Google+.
Where has authenticity led Andereson Cooper? Spray tanning with Snooki. But it is interesting that a skill that sociopaths have long been cultivating, the art of calculated authenticity ("you mean the world to me"), has become a necessary survival skill in a world of social media.

255 comments:

  1. How about staging your own downfall so later you can come up as.the.underdog. i know very well how to play many steps ahead!!!!

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  2. I see it's been an exciting day at SW. I read UKan's little essay. I'd like to hear a rebuttal from you, TNP.

    Seeing socio boy is driving me insane. I can't get away from his presence because he's an inextricable part of my social circle, and of course a large part of me wants to see him (always). But when I see him I can't just convince myself to be unperturbed by his presence. I don't show it at all, but when he's around I'm chasing my tail, internally speaking. So when I don't see him it niggles on my brain matter. When I do see him, I go in mental circles. I can't not see him even if I choose to because he's intimately involved in my close group of friends. And this is why I wish I could TURN OFF my capacity to GIVE a SHIT. It's so very utterly annoying.

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  3. Yikes, Mr. Anderson's white flabby skin did not look god at all, much better dressed, at least there are some arm muscles in there. As for his authenticity... Not so sure what that suggests about him. What weakness has he appeared to be comfortable with and used to his advantage?

    His parents? Not much of weakness there, other than potential narcs, and their little boy not measuring up. Does anyone know about this guy? Better yet, is he as important and loved as he thinks he is?

    And, where is everybody?

    BB, look at your socio as one little sexy cutie, and take him in as much as you can when he is around, but I can't imagine him occupying your thoughts when he is not around once he is off your circle and away for about a year. Enjoy your attraction while it lasts because one day you'll laugh at yourself for having liked the bozo so much.

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  4. A genuinely authentic person has wisdom, under it.

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  5. I am going over the past three days' remarks. I see some lesbian dominated discussion. I see Eden (what an interesting name at this point) moved from shy, unable to open up in July to almost-complete disclosure of a self that is far from attractive, while maintaining the claim to be a great mother. I like this picture in the sense that it is a field equalizer in terms of matching the excellent father image of serial killers.

    The trouble is the children never really think these are excellent fathers, the maintained images in the society may be. A child, much like an animal, is very powerful in feeling true others, parents or not.

    I can understand Eden thinking she may only get a chance in intimacy by having children. Quite selfish. Are you a hair stylist, Eden? And, why do you think you chose to post a picture where you are unable to look up into the picture?

    All this disclosure while we have a link to both Eden and her older daughter? Who encouraged you to do so (David?). Or, am I mixing up people's names?

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  6. make that the truth in others.

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  7. anon 5:14, wanna clarify that? Under what? What does wisdom have anything to do with authenticity?

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  8. Some of us, many of us, have a rather unstable sense of identity. I know I do, though my issues are slightly different. How exactly do you fake authenticity if you don't have a stable sense of who you are? Or maybe everything is authentic to the person you are being at the moment.

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  9. Just saw Eden's "BB has enormous potential' remark. Hilarious statement in two ways. One, not clear what kind of potential we're talking about, a lesbian girlie for you? Second, what kind of genius are you to make a blanket statement about someone else having an enormous potential? Honestly, are you guys (sorry, ladies or bi's or lesbians would fit better) on SW after getting high and stupid? You kept attacking Erin for stupidity and now that the stage opened up you lay your own all over the place?

    Sorry, my stupid alert is on high sensitivity.

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  10. Hi there Sceli. How've you been doll?

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  11. I've been great and honestly missing some of the old times, but heck, it's alright. It's still the typhoon season, I guess.

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  12. Eden, can you give us some links of those hate sites against women that you say are the highest percentage? I sense some twisted statistics in there. Any particular group of women?

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  13. To be an authentic person involves a lot.It is not someone going on Oprah and spilling shit.



    An authentic person has access to all parts of what it means to be human, such as morality and character, as well as the base and primal side, which is where the sociopath lives.

    The authentic person can move through all these levels, as the situation demands.

    The sociopath is stuck at the primal level.

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  14. Haven, your point on unstable sense of the self. In what way is that manifesting itself to make one feel that way?

    Meaning, are we talking about having certain sides that would not be expected given some other attribute in a stereotype setting? Can you give me an example?

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  15. You MUST have a very stable sense of identity, to be authentic. If you are not authentic to yourself, it is impossible to be authentic to anyone else.

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  16. Scelli
    I agree about Eden, btw.

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  17. anon 6:02, what was attributed to sociopathy is calculated authenticity, which is one way of referring to high power masks in high functioning sociopaths.

    This ability is particularly true in developed (open to discussion, put your own adjective in here, could say expansive as well) nations such as UK and USA. To find a politician who basically do not know how to sugar coat him/herself to a sense of authenticity is just about impossible. Same with CEOs, and certainly Mr. Flabby Skin. These people are trying to cater to a crowd and cannot afford missing their calculated authenticity. In the long term the king will appear naked, so heck.

    By the way, UKan, was that really you or an impersonator who made the sarcasrtic remark of wanting to become a better man? That one made me laugh, good timing it was.

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  18. I see, anon. You're implying that being true to self involves a certain level of wisdom and being true to self also is an important ingredient for authenticity, hence there come wisdom. My take was that there is a very natural sense of wisdom that I would not necessarily call as wisdom, which is simply your very natural self. Meaning, a snake rattling his tail would be an authentic action, and not necessarily coming out of any particular wisdom.

    Another example. When I see something funny I have a laughter that comes out very naturally, and seem to trigger others to laugh. That laughter is a part of my authenticity and does not tie into any particular wisdom on my part, but just a sense of lack of inhibition in sharing it with others, being very natural about my bodily reaction.

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  19. Calculated authenticity is a child's finger painting trying to copy a Picasso.

    Authentic people are very,very rare. Fred Rogers, Leo Buscaglia and Eleanor Roosevelt would be some I could name.

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  20. @Sceli… My sense of identity has a tendency to change and present differently depending on my environment or the group of people that I’m with. I don’t even notice that I do this most of the time, it’s a subconscious shift to blend more smoothly into my environment. To me, this doesn’t seem unnatural, but I’ve been told I can appear like totally different people. Regardless of my environment, the view of myself that is presented is an aspect of who I am, but it’s like it appears more concentrated because all of the other parts are so distinct, there isn’t a natural blending that sort of equalizes each part. Each part feels authentic to me but I’m told I come across as almost having different personalities. I can’t imagine all of these different aspects are seen as authentic even though I feel like they’re all parts of me at the time.

    How do you cultivate authenticity when your base sense of identity tends to shift?

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  21. anon, you do include wisdom and original thought in your examples for authenticity.

    To me only 'genuine' is enough to define authenticity.
    authentic |ôˈθentik| (abbr.: auth.)
    adjective
    1 of undisputed origin; genuine : the letter is now accepted as an authentic document | authentic 14th-century furniture. See note at genuine .
    • made or done in the traditional or original way, or in a way that faithfully resembles an original : the restaurant serves authentic Italian meals | every detail of the movie was totally authentic.
    • based on facts; accurate or reliable : an authentic depiction of the situation.
    • (in existentialist philosophy) relating to or denoting an emotionally appropriate, significant, purposive, and responsible mode of human life.
    2 Music (of a church mode) comprising the notes lying between the principal note or final and the note an octave higher. Compare with plagal .

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  22. Yes Scelli

    The person comes from a genuine place inside himself. He is directed from the inner, outward, not the other way around.

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  23. Haven,
    There is no attempted hiding of any of these personalities from any of the different groups, right? Meaning, you are not calculating from the previous day how to behave in a certain group (well, even some of the planning could be authentic).

    To me that is genuine self that is exposed to very different types of groups and a colorful person. Like a chameleon being true to itself as its colors match its surroundings. Who can say a chameleon is not an authentic animal?

    I am also very different in attitude, particularly in my travels. How can I behave the same when communicating with an indigenous person in one corner of the world on an island where no one else knows me and a CEO in a very pretentious environment? I will be much more trusting with an indigenous person while will be testing the CEO before I decide on his general nature and try to see through his calculated authenticity (if any). Yet, some of me remains the same, the way I laugh, smile, get angry, have my food, take my walk, look at their face as I speak, etc.

    What changes and what remains the same in your case?

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  24. everything about the psychopath is fake, from his smile to his background, but he doesn't have the emotional punch to tell him he's wrong.

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  25. I change my voice tone based on how I feel with someone. Significant change if I am feeling child-like and happy, versus neutral, versus discussing a serious topic. Beyond the natural fluctuation of when respecting versus when angry, etc. I sometimes debate changing that because other people have pointed out, but heck, that's part of who I am, and I like all my voice tones, so I won't try to control these natural changes.

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  26. emotional punch.... :) I like that one. I try to stop hitting myself with that stupid punch when overly emotional. It helps me to remind myself that there are people who don't have that punch.

    Recently i started watching a TV series with a well-written sociopath screenplay, and the guy is both hot and charming. Safest way to have a crush on a socio.

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  27. The sociopath is genuine with his animal nature. That is why he is sexy.

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  28. "Recently i started watching a TV series with a well-written sociopath screenplay, and the guy is both hot and charming. Safest way to have a crush on a socio."

    Actors can't portray psychopaths, real life psychopaths are more captivating than any fictional one.

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  29. Yes, indeed. (Puts a smile on my face, funny).

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  30. That was at the previous remark, but agrees with the other one as well. Plus, a good chance this actor is very sociopathic in real life.

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  31. The devil knows how to blend in :-)

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  32. Fred Rogers and Leo Buscaglia...
    Just checked those.. Authentic? Maybe to some extent. I bet they were sugar coated even to themselves. Were you joking?

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  33. No joke
    No one is 100% authentic, just as no one is 100% beautiful or 100% intelligent.

    Robert Frost may be another authentic person.

    Leo and Fred were open with their hearts. That takes a great deal of courage.

    An authentic person can go against society and must because society is fake.

    Both of them dared to show their hearts. That is why I included them.

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  34. I see, don't know much about them. Will read about them. I was lucky to have met some truly authentic people in person.

    I feel I am losing some of my authenticity as I get older. I am holding back from some of the individuals thinking they don't deserve my authentic side. I am somehow projecting that to humanity a bit too (and not wanting to write stuff anymore), need to stop doing that. This paragraph sounds terribly narcissistic, it just is the truth though.

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  35. Can you imagine a case where physical attractiveness is a huge inherence and hindrance to one's preferred talents? If you can imagine that, can you imagine how one can go above and beyond that and make what she wants happen?

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  36. Here is an authentic man with all his genius and weaknesses. Gotta read his Surely You're Joking Mr Feynman (his sexuality was apparently limited to frequenting the strip clubs).

    Richard Phillips Feynman ( /ˈfaɪnmən/; May 11, 1918 – February 15, 1988)[2] was an American physicist known for his work in the path integral formulation of quantum mechanics, the theory of quantum electrodynamics and the physics of the superfluidity of supercooled liquid helium, as well as in particle physics (he proposed the parton model). For his contributions to the development of quantum electrodynamics, Feynman, jointly with Julian Schwinger and Sin-Itiro Tomonaga, received the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1965. He developed a widely used pictorial representation scheme for the mathematical expressions governing the behavior of subatomic particles, which later became known as Feynman diagrams. During his lifetime, Feynman became one of the best-known scientists in the world.
    He assisted in the development of the atomic bomb and was a member of the panel that investigated the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster. In addition to his work in theoretical physics, Feynman has been credited with pioneering the field of quantum computing,[3] and introducing the concept of nanotechnology.[4] He held the Richard Chace Tolman professorship in theoretical physics at the California Institute of Technology.
    Feynman was a keen popularizer of physics through both books and lectures, notably a 1959 talk on top-down nanotechnology called There's Plenty of Room at the Bottom and The Feynman Lectures on Physics. Feynman also became known through his semi-autobiographical books (Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman! and What Do You Care What Other People Think?) and books written about him, such as Tuva or Bust!

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  37. To take an extreme case, the children with progeria are the most beautiful souls.

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  38. At what part, dear Medusa? lol...

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  39. Ali G would be authentic. An authentic person, usually, has a good sense of humor.

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  40. Showing your heart is useless in a heartless world. You either play the game of ego, or you get destroyed.

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  41. Medusa, put a picture up.

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  42. That's exactly what Warren Buffett said, without any need to worry about the declaration. All the rest of the rich guys would agree, but not necessarily say.

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  43. Sceli 7:17, was not me, although I am curious to see Medusa. My batteries are running out. So long everybody.

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  44. You show your heart WITH personal power and strength, only.

    You do not give more than you can allow people to trample, if that is what they desire.

    When you give, you know it will be trampled, by some.

    For some people, it will be an oasis.

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  45. medusa cannot understand this discussion, from what I have seen of her.

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  46. You'd be a pretty shit CEO if you cared about others, the company should get rid of you instantly.

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  47. The authentic person knows when to be tough.
    The person is not a pussy, at all.

    The person must have wisdom, by definition, or else he is a fool.

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  48. The only thing that let's me sleep at night and quenches a fraction of my rage, is knowing that guys just like me are at the top, oppressing the idiots. I don't have to say anything.

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  49. Ali G would be authentic.


    LOLROLFLMAO

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  50. All good humor comes from an authentic place, or it would not be funny.

    I am not saying that all funny people are authentic, but all good humor is.

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  51. @Sceli... Yes, back in my original comment it seems to me like all of these aspects are authentic aspects that present in different situations, like you said. To me it always seemed like I was 'being appropriate' for the environment I was in. It wasn't until I was told that I come across as a very different person altogether that made me wonder, and realize just how unstable my projected identity is.

    There is some hiding I guess. I'm not out of the closet at work, I have a very tempered professional demeanor... by the same token I don't act like a calculating professional when I'm hanging out with friends. To me this would be unnatural if I were to do that. I don't really make a conscious effort to say "no this thing I will not say, act or do in front of so and so", I just naturally don't project things that would seem out of place or questionable.

    I can't think of many things that remain the same actually besides my cosmetics and (most of my) piercings. I dress differently, my voice affects differently, I voice my opinions and thoughts differently... I eat the same if I'm alone, but not if I'm with colleagues. Yet they're all things I've chosen to do on some level because it's what my idea of a professional is.

    I like your chameleon analogy. That feels like it hits the mark.

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  52. Tree of Life quote:

    "there are two ways through life - the way of nature and the way of grace. You have to choose which one you'll follow. 

    Grace doesn't try to please itself. Accepts being slighted, forgotten, disliked. Accepts insults and injuries. 

    Nature only wants to please itself. Get others to please it too. Likes to lord it over them. To have its own way. It finds reasons to be unhappy when all the world is shining around it. And love is smiling through all things."

    I thought it was an interesting quote and decided to post it. I'm not sure how I felt about that movie, though.

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  53. An authentic person Berry Brazelton
    Beautiful



    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApRRUyVH6c0

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  54. lol Now we're learning about what authenticity is, on a Sociopath blog!
    I love it. Can't wait to see the bullshit that will monopolize today's thread.

    Carry on then.

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  55. Only a loser like you Eden would not appreciate a subject like this.

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  56. I am happy SW is more than stupid shit. Thank you M.E.

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  57. I'm sexualy attracted to drain pipe's.

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  58. I love learning to be authentic. it is a beautiful thing. I am very tired from the years I was not.

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  59. Anon 8:56
    Explain, please.

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  60. @haven

    ALL people have different selves they project in a given situation. We can't always be authentic because there are social norms governing out behavior and people expect us to act in a certain way. If we violate these norms in an environment that is not quite casual enough-like with very close friends-then we risk being ostracized. So nobody shows an "authentic self". Do we even have authentic selves, or just selves useful for given social environments (ie work self, student self, friend self, family self)? You may want to argue that the solitary self is "authentic", but is it not more illusory than anything? Simply an "ideal self" that reflects your changeable (sometimes-often-inaccurate) self perception and shifting beliefs and values? Authentic, what is that? No more than what you WANT to believe is the "real" you when the EGO itself is no more than a useful method that your brain employs of organizing day to day consciousness.

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  61. I don't fret about my changing sense of self. Then again, I am not worried about being authentic. My ability to shift keeps things interesting and lively.

    I think it keeps my husband interested too. At least once a year, I change the way I dress and completely change my hair and he jokes around that it is like being with a new woman.

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  62. You are fucking fascinating, sweetcheeks.

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  63. its like a fucking roller coaster....WWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

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  64. Did your husband have to marry you because you were knocked up?

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  65. sweetcheeks
    Are you a BPD?

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  66. UKan
    You showed your stupidity, again.

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  67. TEEEHEEE, LET'S HAVE BABIES

    TEEHEE LET'S HAVE BABIES

    TEEEHEE LET'S HAVE BABIES

    TEEHEEE LET'S HAVE BABIES

    TEEEHEEE LET'S HAVE BABEES

    TEEEHEEE LOOT'S HAV BABEEESS

    BABEES

    BABEES

    BABEES
    BABEEEEES

    BABEES


    BABIES

    HOT MAMA BA-BEES

    LET'S HAV BABIES TEEEHEE

    LET'S HAVE BABIES TEEHEEE

    TEEEEHEE LET'S HAVE BABIES

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  68. Sweetcheeks
    Can you explain what how BPD feels?
    Thanks

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  69. Sweetcheeks
    I am sorry I was mean to you.

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  70. VEGITOPATH WURLD TEEHEEOctober 11, 2011 at 9:43 AM

    WAPE


    WAPE



    WAPE


    WAPE


    WAPE


    WAPE



    WAPE



    WAPE



    WAPE WAPE



    WAPE WAPE



    WAPE WAPE



    WAPE WAPE



    WAPE WAPE WAPE



    WAPE WAPE WAPE



    WAPE WAPE WAPE

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  71. VEGITOVILLE TEEHEEEEOctober 11, 2011 at 9:45 AM

    WAPE



    WAPE





    WAPE



    WAPE



    WAPE



    WAPE



    WAPE



    WAPE



    WAPE



    WAPE

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  72. anon there are many great resources available here for you to read on BPD.

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  73. I wanted to know it felt, not intellectual understanding, sweet.

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  74. RAPE

    WAPE ELSEWHERE GROUP WAPE

    SEXUAL
    SEXUAL
    SEXUAL SEXUEL WAPE TEEHEE

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  75. That's a little too vague for me. How does it feel? It really depends on the situation.

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  76. @sweet

    When were you diagnosed as BPD?

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  77. I wanted to know how it felt, not intellectual understanding, sweet.

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  78. Calculated authenticity. That's an oxymoron. All authenticity amounts to is honesty, both with yourself and with other people. Which means that authenticity is beyond a genuine sociopath.

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  79. @ Eden

    I was diagnosed when I was 20-21 years old.

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  80. You can't be truly authentic, in any meaningful way, unless you have a solid self from which to be authentic.
    That takes out most PDs.

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  81. What happened? Were you hospitalized for something?

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  82. Anon

    Here is a good example of how it feels depending on a specific situation.

    When my grandma died, I was front row crying my eyes out for attention. At the venue after the funeral, when everyone was talking, I stole $80 bucks from my Mom's purse. She was a wreck but I consoled her. At the time, I felt pretty clever.

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  83. You don’t need a solid self. There’s no such thing. “Solid self” is another oxymoron. The only thing you need is honesty. Telling the truth about what you think and how you feel, in the present moment, is all authenticity requires.

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  84. @Truth Teller
    Well said!

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  85. No I voluntarily went to a private therapist for a certain reason. My husband joined me for a few sessions and thats when he diagnosed my husband with NPD.

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  86. What did he think about that diagnosis?

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  87. Stop pretending to be me, Jason. Go outside and be an 18 year old for godsakes.

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  88. He doesn't know. My therapist didn't tell him because he was hoping that he would continue therapy. Tell a narc the truth and it only enrages them.

    Of course my husband thought he was smarter than the therapist so he stopped going. Sometimes I say it in a joking manner and that's enough to send him into a frenzy. I don't waste my time getting him to "see the light".

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  89. @Sweet
    Why do you judge your husband, when you are more fucked up than he is?

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  90. 'You can't be truly authentic, in any meaningful way, unless you have a solid self from which to be authentic.
    That takes out most PDs.'


    This is a tough one. I'd like to think I'm pretty authentic, but I can see your point that it helps to have a solid self. I think it's more that when you swing the emotional/behavioural pendulum from extreme to extreme, it baffles people, and it appears that you are not authentic, since consistency is something people trust and like to have around them.
    Does this mean unpredictable/changeable = inauthentic? No. I don't think so. It's more that the boundaries of typical reality are wider and you are unpredictable, not inauthentic. At least, that's how I see it.

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  91. That was not me. Shut the fuck up, Jason.

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  92. You have a point, not me. However, the PD person wrestles with themselves so much, that there is little room for much else, much productive work in the world.

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  93. Either there's an anon pretending to be Erin who is trying not to sound likee Erin, or Erin's blog is a bit lonely. :)

    In the latter's case: you should at least have the common decency or muster up the teeny tiny bit of courage needed, to use your 'rea' name here. After all: there are very few things you could say to get an even worse reputation. Very few. So whaddya have to lose, eh?

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  94. Fuck y'all haters, I'm the real TNP! Authentic, bitches!

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  95. Which Anon sounds like erin. I miss her.

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  96. 'You have a point, not me. However, the PD person wrestles with themselves so much, that there is little room for much else, much productive work in the world.'

    Ah you have a point. In many cases, yes. But the flipside is that where there is great destruction, there is a high likelihood for great creation. Taking the path less travelled can yield interesting results. It's a precarious but potentially promising journey. Lol. I've turned into some fucking buddhist. Kill me now.

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  97. I'm the TNP :)

    LOL!

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  98. @notme

    What is a solid self, in actual terms? It boils down to having a consistent story about who you believe yourself to be. It’s like playing a character in a play, only all the time. At least, that’s what it sounds like several commenters here seem to believe. I really don’t think that’s the key to trustworthiness. Having a reputation for being consistently honest is. I think that people here see other people and think they are playing a character, putting on a mask the way they do. When really, most of us are just living out our truths, whatever we sincerely believe them to be at the moment.

    Another myth is the belief that your emotions determine your behavior. That simply isn’t true. Maybe acting on whatever you happen to feel at the moment, without regard for or even the ability to see, consequences, is a defining feature of several PD’s. I don’t know. I’ll have to think about that one a little more.

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  99. "Why do you judge your husband, when you are more fucked up than he is?"

    How was I judging him? I stated the facts.

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  100. You have a point, not me. However, the PD person wrestles with themselves so much, that there is little room for much else, much productive work in the world

    Agreed. Except for sociopaths. They can’t be bothered to wrestle with themselves. They’re too busy taking. Narcissists probably do though, at least enough to keep their self aggrandizing delusions intact.

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  101. Anyone ever seen a picture of that hottie, TNP?
    Fuck UKan.

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  102. Truth Teller, I take your point. Plus some PDs make us honest to a fault. lol.

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  103. Truth Teller
    Good points, today.

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  104. Ukan looks like a irish blob LOL! Fuck you Ukan

    :)

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  105. You're so disgusted with yourself, you don't even notice.

    I won’t comment on the rest of your post TNP. I’m just going to say that I’ve been lurking here for a while now and the one thing I have never picked up in Ukan’s comments is self disgust. Frankly, he can stand to be a little disgusted with himself from the sound of it. But then again, if he were he wouldn't be resident sociopath in chief here.

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  106. You got that right notme! They force you to examine yourself in order to change. It's either that or stay in the cycle of abuse.

    Thanks anonymous.

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  107. UKan has little self introspection. As such, he has little hope to ever be different than what you see right now.

    TNP seems like he can learn from experience and does.

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  108. Erin, you're a pathetic cunt. Fuck off.

    Jason, stop trying to vicariously live through me, here. If you want to twist horns with UKan or Misanthrope, do it yourself. I don't need cheerleaders.

    @Blog
    I always thought authenticity just meant, being yourself. So why can't I be authentic? I can, but you wouldn't want to deal with a person like me being 100% authentic. That's just a fact. I show people what they want to see most of the time. Even the people I'm open with, I have to hold back. I'm a very hostile and aggressive person, and if I was always authentic, no one would be able to spend time with me without flipping out, unless they were like me. That introduces an entirely new problem to the equation.

    ReplyDelete
  109. @ TruthTeller
    Yes, I think also that many of us are acutely sensitive to abuse and neglect, which forces us to struggle very hard to free ourselves psychologically. It's almost like we're stuck in that very young mindset where emotional independence and freedom is what still drives us strongly, hence our impulsivity, difficulty with commitment etc.

    ReplyDelete
  110. @not me
    I can relate to you.

    ReplyDelete
  111. @11:35 was not me. It is fucking Jason.
    Go outside, Jason.

    ReplyDelete
  112. I went most of my life never practicing introspection, nor even knowing what it was. It's essentially a self-examination, and if you want to do it, you can. Just don't be surprised if the results aren't always favorable. You find out a lot about yourself, for better or worse.

    UKan is capable of introspection. I've seen him talk about himself here, and his observations about himself. Whether he wants to change parts of his life, or is capable, is something he has to deal with.

    I personally don't think I can change myself at all, not my default settings. I don't even want to. But when the choice is between freedom and no freedom, I'll do whatever I have to do.

    ReplyDelete
  113. '@not me
    I can relate to you.'

    Nice to meet u Monica. :)

    ReplyDelete
  114. Does everyone play games, here?

    ReplyDelete
  115. @notme

    I agree. It is very easy to get stuck in reactive patters from childhood. That’s probably why so many people are.


    @TNP

    Behaving like an asshole is the only reason no one would want to be around you. Acting like an asshole isn’t being authentic. It’s the exact opposite of it. Why? Because assholes believe their own lies. Self deception is the core ingredient of dickish behavior.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Truth Teller, you don't get out much, do you? If your collective pool of humans you've spent time with only includes school and your job as a cashier, you aren't in any position to lecture anyone, especially me, about why people do what they do with your gross generalizations.

    Being an asshole doesn't drive people away unless you're extreme about it, and even then some people stick around.

    If they feel physically/socially/career threatened though, it's an entirely different story.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Truth Teller has 1000% more to offer than you do, TNP. Shut the fuck up.

    ReplyDelete
  118. Patting your creation's own back, Jason? The last time you came here with Truth Teller and Coe-D, your bullshit was called.

    You do have a lot to offer here though, Jason. So offer it. Tell us about you. Offer us your experiences. Give us your insight. Because all you've done since you came back has been spewing bullshit and horrible advice.

    That can't be the real you, is it?

    ReplyDelete
  119. If anyone talks about himself, Ukan rips him a new one. Who is going to?

    ReplyDelete
  120. Oh, that explains so much, Jason. You don't like assholes. You were bullied, weren't you? The white-washed dorky African-American kid in Queens. You must have felt so betrayed by your own race. You just didn't fit in with your own kind because playing video games and eating donuts was more fun than exercising and hanging out with your non-existent friends.

    You're 18 and prioritizing beating Misanthrope in a verbal argument instead of getting your dick wet, because you probably gave up on that venture years ago. No one wants to fuck Urkel, after all.

    But you figure, maybe if you spend some time with sociopaths and other lunatics, you can seem scary and smart enough to get back at those big bad bullies that tormented you all your life. Then maybe Janice will pay attention to you and let you take her to the Olive Garden. Such a romantic.

    The abuse doesn't end here, Jason. It only gets worse.

    ReplyDelete
  121. @TNP

    True, I was speaking in generalizations. But it isn’t true that I was lecturing you. I was responding to you. Having an online conversation. That’s all. But this is a perfect example of what I was referring to. Your response was needlessly negative. Why? I’m going to guess that you were telling yourself something about my comment that wasn’t true. You could have found that out by asking me, point blank, if I was lecturing you and if so, why. That’s what I mean when I say things like dickish behavior is driven by self deception and inaccurate thinking. Not that your response was entirely dickish. But it was along that path and it didn’t need to be.

    Nevertheless, you are right to say that assholes don’t always drive people away. Many a dysfunctional family proves that. Dickish behavior will, however, drive away people who insist that their friends and intimates respond to them with the respect they know they deserve. And yes, I’m still speaking in generalizations.

    ReplyDelete
  122. @Truth Teller
    That is the best thing I have heard since I got here.

    ReplyDelete
  123. When I trust you TNP, you are mean to me.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Your admittance to my commentary about assholes, framed through the reference of family instead of friends, proves your limited social interactions outside mummy and daddy.

    You're pathetic, Jason, and so are your creations.

    ReplyDelete
  125. @Tnp
    You ask him to open up, and then you ass rape him.
    Is that your game, or do you really want to help him?

    ReplyDelete
  126. Jason, address me with your name or don't address me at all.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Are you my friend, or not?

    ReplyDelete
  128. Wow TNP. Your responses to my comments are textbook narcissism. I’d think you were just joking around, if I hadn’t read many of your other comments here. You truly don’t see that I am not Jason, do you? This soft denial will of course spur you on to proclaim even louder and with greater conviction that I must be Jason.

    For anyone else reading this, this is what believing your own story, without any corroborative evidence and very specious reasoning, looks like. Why did TNP respond to me in this manner? Because I dared not agree with his assessment about Ukan’s self disgust and because I responded to his comments about authenticity, which he addressed to the entire blog, with something less than complete agreement.

    For the record, I’m not angry or upset. Tone is sometimes hard to convey in online conversations. I am still in honest response mode.

    ReplyDelete
  129. No. Why would you think I was your friend?

    ReplyDelete
  130. @Truth Teller
    If I tell my story, will they treat me like Jason?

    ReplyDelete
  131. TNP
    You are a cunt. I am not Cosette and Truth Teller.

    ReplyDelete
  132. "For anyone else reading this, this is what believing your own story, without any corroborative evidence and very specious reasoning, looks like"

    That's rich coming from one of your creations, Jason. You, cosette, Monica, et cetera, only pop up when you do. What a coincidence.~

    Your name is hilariously ironic, but I have to give UKan credit for saying that insult first.

    You were cheerleading me this morning until I spit on you. How does it feel to have your only glimmer of hope snuffed out?

    ReplyDelete
  133. @Monica ... If you tell your story you will get a mix of responses and treatment. If you're thick skinned and don't take everythign to heart you may gain insight. If you are easily offended you may want to skip the potential abuse.

    That said. You never know unless you try. What's your story?

    ReplyDelete
  134. @Haven
    Thank you but seeing TNP jump on Jason makes me think I am going to go back to lurking.

    ReplyDelete
  135. Haven, Monica was a character that popped into existence when Jason returned, and has been conveniently riding his sack.

    You're speaking to a feeble machination.

    ReplyDelete
  136. TNP seems to think that I am someone else.

    ReplyDelete
  137. TNP
    For the last time, I am not Jason. Get a life.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Aye. Characters here have even less stable identities than I do. Thanks TNP.

    How've you been?

    ReplyDelete
  139. Ok TNP. You go right on believing what you are obviously committed to believing. Keep right on inveighing against “Jason”. After all, you have the right to believe whatever you like and I won’t waste my time with any futile attempts to persuade you that you are wrong.

    Good luck to you.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Now he's not even bothering to cycle his blogger accounts, hahaha.

    I'm doing peachy, Haven. My last therapy session was a real eye opener though. I'm not sure what I'm going to do next.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Well, tell your story. Even if they jump, it is a chance for insight. And you will learn. Fake compassion and mindless sympathy don't help you attain understanding. We gain more from a healthy dose of conflict now and again. If you aren't full of crap, I think many of the people here will have useful things to say to you. Also....if you aren't Jason, it will show through eventually.

    ReplyDelete
  142. I am going to lurk some more. I may comment, once in a while, but this place it too rough for me.

    ReplyDelete
  143. Good to hear TNP. Well now I'm curious about your last session! It's not nice to tease ;)

    Therapy has been going really well for me though. Getting over past bad choices to make way for new ones haha.

    ReplyDelete
  144. What happened at your therapy session?

    ReplyDelete
  145. I have been considering going to a therapist.
    I thought they were witch doctors, but I need something.

    ReplyDelete
  146. I highly recommend therapy. It's a great way to vent and let go of the shit that builds up inside.

    I suppose it depends on what you hope to accomplish though. Why considering therapy?

    ReplyDelete
  147. I am so angry. I have a dead end job, an asshole for a boss.
    My wife hates me.
    I want to punch something.

    ReplyDelete
  148. I think I am going to have a stroke if I don't get help.

    ReplyDelete
  149. I find therapy preferable to brain attacks. You may also consider investing in a punching bag.

    ReplyDelete
  150. Thanks Haven I have to go,now.

    ReplyDelete
  151. Frank, do what you have to do to release the anger. Then get whatever help you need to turn your life around. If that means therapy, then you should definitely give it a try. You can turn your life around.

    Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  152. Maybe I should do community service and punch TNP.

    ReplyDelete
  153. How long have you and your wife been together? Why do you hate her? When did you stop loving her?

    ReplyDelete
  154. @Abby
    I don't want to talk about it.

    ReplyDelete
  155. Frank is full of shit.

    ReplyDelete
  156. @Jane Where do you live?

    ReplyDelete
  157. I live in Maine and I can smell Canuck all over your scurvy ass.

    ReplyDelete
  158. Jane
    Want to get it on?

    ReplyDelete
  159. What the hell Frank? Am I not good enough ?

    ReplyDelete
  160. The day is looking up. What can I do for you, ladies?

    ReplyDelete
  161. Want to come on web cam?

    ReplyDelete
  162. I will but I am a virgin so I may not last long.

    ReplyDelete
  163. Well, I am stuffing my wife in the closet.


    Shut up, Dolores.

    ReplyDelete
  164. Never had any complaints, but I like to wine and dine a lady, first, before cawk talk.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Off your wife and then you can have me and do not skip the details when sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  166. I am so sick of being rejected :(

    ReplyDelete
  167. Good Bye, Ladies. I have to go.

    ReplyDelete
  168. Jason, would you ever shut up, ya scutterin gobshite ?

    ReplyDelete
  169. I am thinking about telling my story now. Maybe Bluebird is right?

    ReplyDelete
  170. I like to smell my own farts

    ReplyDelete
  171. *sniff*

    *sniff sniff*

    YUM

    ReplyDelete
  172. I like to smell my own farts

    ReplyDelete
  173. I like to smell my own farts

    ReplyDelete
  174. I like to smell my own farts

    ReplyDelete
  175. I like to smell my own farts

    ReplyDelete
  176. does anyone want to talk

    ReplyDelete
  177. you might not be able to see my wind, but you can smell it

    ReplyDelete
  178. if this is jason then i dont want to talk with you because you scare me

    ReplyDelete

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