Saturday, November 8, 2014

In love with a sociopath (part 1)

From a reader:
The more I read [your blog] the more reassured I became that the person I am in love with is a sociopath. I have known this person for 7 years, and during these years I was constantly fascinated by him, the way he manipulates people into satisfying his needs, the way he quickly rises up the career ladder, the way he sometimes in an instant lets go of any particular relationship, and the way he never takes responsibility for anything but rather blames the people around him. I have always noticed how people start out by loving him, turning him into an idol, a God, they worship him, but within time every single one of those people ended up hating him. He has constant affairs with women, and each time he claims he is in love (however short lived). Women in his life come and go but I'm the constant. I don't understand why. He said he considers me one of his best friends, however my feelings for him are way stronger than simply friendship. That fact that I love him annoys him a lot, he hates any form of emotion or weakness on my side.

I have learned to accept him for who he is, although sometimes due to my more emotional nature I lash out at him demanding change, I try to explain to him why sometimes I feel alienated by him, or that I simply need more attention, usually these types of conversations end up in a fight, because he is unable to see my side of the story. I understand that it's something that he will never be capable of. However we have managed to keep this friendship running for 7 years. I have invested a lot into this relationship, and yes I willingly putting myself into the position of a victim. I fully accept this. He is a great person, and I am very attached to him, however due to his constant change in behavior I often fear that I will lose him. His attention may turn to somebody else in a blink of an eye, and keeping him in my life (even if only as a friend) gives me a strange feeling of adrenalin (a bit selfish here). He has the power to crush and mend my world in a split second, the high and lows that he puts me through are incredible, although it sometimes exhausts me, but as I said I willingly put up with it. It's my choice to stay friends with him. I'm not going to give up on him simply because he is slightly different from the rest.

I'm not here to complain, I am here to try and better understand him, so that I can further adapt better. So the question that I want to ask is: if sociopaths have no attachments, why won't he let me leave?

There were times when I was very close to abandoning this friendship and each time I would make that decision he would pull me back. He does threaten me sometimes "if you show your emotions one more time I will never talk to you, and this friendship will be over", however he has never actually done it, which means he doesn't really want to let go either. Maybe he takes pleasure in observing me, observing how I'm struggling to keep this friendship running. Or maybe deep down he feels alone, and I'm the only women who loves him for who he is and not for the mask that he puts on for the rest. His true reason for keeping me in his life doesn't matter, as long as I'm in it. I'm just curious of what the reason could be.

He can be very caring for me, and very sympathetic, and he can be very supportive when I'm going through a difficult time, he would constantly call me to check up on me, and than suddenly he would become all cold. Almost as if somebody had pressed the "off" button -- I can cry my eyes out, and reach out for his support, and he won't give it, and it would seem like he doesn't care at all. However, I'm the only person who was ever invited to his family home, the only person with whom he has kept in touch for 7 years, and he protects me (ex: when we would be driving with friends, he would tell me to sit behind the driver because thats the safest place in the car). So what does he feel for me, if he actually feels anything?

Part II and Part III 

160 comments:

  1. I think he just keeps you for the laughs.

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  2. ^ Seconded. You must be very entertaining to have been kept for that long though. Well done?

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  3. Not even close.

    Think OUTSIDE the box!

    But, nice try ;)

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  4. he values you for some reason..

    perhaps it is for the kicks he gets out being able to "torture" someone when he needs it and not as a matter of course as he goes through various relationships, you provide that kind of potential satifaction for him on demand

    maybe you provide a "stable" person in his life he can use as a cover... he shows you to mom because he believes, and apparently rightly so, you won't eventually get sense and go nuclear and go to his parents yelling "psychopath"

    perhaps he has you slotted for a special future use and needs you around for a while

    maybe in his sociopathic wavelength he does "love" you and this is how he manages his love for "prey" or an inferior entitiy

    i think his behavior towards you makes you feel very special and he knows this and uses this to manipulate you

    the highs and lows he generates in you acts to neurochemically addict you to him, and, as he is a sociopath, he is endowed with a natural presentation meant to encourage you to love him, find him fascinating, charming, brilliant exciting in addition to deliberate conscious manipulative acts etc

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  5. Oh good grief, OP, get a grip. You've clearly been indoctrinated and brainwashed into his little cult of one.

    Tell me, you say he's an idol, a God - yet those are the self-referential words of a sociopath. And when he breaks people, you worry only about your place at his feet. He's constricting your life dear, blunting your value system, reducing your mental flexibility. That you fear losing 'him' indicates that he's affected a sort of regression in your thinking and behaviour.

    Does he remind you of someone you lost as a child? I only ask, dear, because your letter has all the craziness of the heart, that deep wound of the disconnected self, the longing that sits just beneath the surface of your puppet-like cheeriness. I dare say you look different to how you did seven years ago, too: lighter, weaker, emptier. Yes?

    It's clear from your letter, dear, that your obsessive thoughts and ruminations are invading and controlling your hopes - you've surrendered your soul to the push and pull of the uncertainty, fear, confusion, and joy he summons. His seesawing harshness and leniency cage you, and your ritualised struggles to end your 'friendship' in the face of his last-minute lie that you're vital to his gaze keep your wings clipped.

    That you naively believe he protects you indicates to me that he's provided you with a false system you feel you can trust more than any other. The world is cold and cruel dear, but so is your keeper, and your cage is not a shelter but a prison of madness. You've mistaken self-annihilation for sanctuary.

    Why am I telling you this? Because I too was the pet of a sociopath in my youth, she blotted out my reality, and my whole existence depended on her blinding centrality. She recognised our shared nature and we built our empire. But you are not a sociopath, you are other, so you cannot build your safe world out of nothingness and human dust.

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    1. Wow. I read the first question "from a reader" and totally related because it is exactly how I feel about my captor then I read yours. You are right. I have known this is true. I just can't figure out how to get away. Mine is violent, already accused of murder. He is a diagnosed Narcissitic Sociopath. Although he is serving a life sentence, he has the ability to reach and "touch me" here on the outside and that is why I live in fear. He also has the chance to be paroled in 2013 and it is a good chance he will be free. Because of his hold on me that I "Allow Him To Have" I have been unable to break away. Every fight I start, everytime I try to be indifferent or do not perform the tasks I am told are futile. We break up and hours later we are together again, he has his hold on me and the pain I feel of losing him is flat out "RETARDED". I'll be honest. I'm scared but I am scared because of the stories I make up about what he will do to me if I do finally leave. There are other women (which he denies) I used to confront them to tell them who he was to try and save them. They never knew he was in prison, they never met him but he is so good these women, such as myself, would stay with him as he held that carrot out of "We will meet soon". I was his slave for 9 months until he exposed himself to me. Even when I found out the truth I still didn't run. I don't care about saving the new woman. I am hoping he attaches himself to her and leaves me. I spoke to her and she is "hooked". He guilts me into staying. Tells me things like "they all leave" I'm expecting you to leave and when we broke up recently he laid a guilt trip on me that I left him high and dry in the middle of his possible release. Clearly my weakness is loyalty. I don't want to fall back on my word. I know that some of you on this site use it to make fun of others or get off on the pathetic rambling of people such as myself. I come here looking for answers that I know don't exisit. I just have to "Man Up" and take the leap.... Get the F out of this. I fell for a lie.. I got caught up. I'm not stupid or even weak. Just scared.

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  6. zeric u shuld write a story about a sociapath an her pray

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  7. JC, Zeric's prose is very overwrought. I wouldn't read any fiction he wrote. Just sayin'.

    WV: chaos

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  8. "if sociopaths have no attachments, why won't he let me leave?"


    i think a better way to put that is: if sociopaths have no attachments, why doesn't he leave me and get rid of me as he does others?

    you could leave if you really wanted to, which I think is the last thing you want, due likely in good part to his manipulation of you and your psyche because of some value you provide to him

    if he did "let you leave", you would likely express addiction withdrawal and some psychological distress perhaps impacting him in some way and this may not be something he wants from you right now

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  9. One last point.

    I think you are looking at this too much from the point of view of trying to understand him, trying to read his mind in a sense, but what you have to understand is, his "mind" and the way he behaves with you has been constructed for you in good part, so what you are really reading is his construction that is in place to manipulate your psyche and its "delusions" and "weaknessess".

    For a better thinking through, take him out of the picture and look more closely at yourself.

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  10. why is there so much constuctavist fuckry on this blog

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  11. Feel yourself WANT TO STAY and make yourself WANT TO STAY and let yourself WANT TO STAY...

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  12. You just love the drama. My 2 past experiences with sociopaths was more like this: 1.) They are obsessed with me 2.) They try to isolate me 3.) They try to mess with me 4.) Short term confusion on my part 5.) Short term pain 6.) After an even shorter period of anger my lasting boredom kicks in. Sociopath experiences rejection and rage.

    But in the end I just ended up bored. Sociopaths are very low yield. Everything is a game to them with the goal of taking much while giving almost nothing. They love petty intrigues and SO DO YOU.
    This makes you an emotional anaorexic. You enjoy starving yourself of meaningful emotions and expereinces. You get off on thwarting your own growth.

    You ask how you can adapt. I don't think you really want to. If you adapted you would miss out on the drama. But I sense you know this arrangement is debasing and inferior and you are uncomfortable with that. One way to jerk their chain that has worked for me is to allow other men who are interested to get closer and ignore the sociopath. No calls, no texts, no e-mails, delete and block from social networks, and if you see him don't even look at him. If you want to heighten his unhingement date an enemy of his, but make sure you actually like the person. If you did this you would see this shell of a person you worship crack apart to reveal the crippled freak inside. Once revealed you may become repulsed. I did. Utterly.
    Zeric is right btw. This wormy little boy must remind you of someone who was supposed to love you. I suggest you try to fight your base instincts and act in ways opposite to your usual pattern so that you can be permitted the opportunity to experience another kind of man. I mean, how do you know if you will like it if you don't try it?

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  13. I think you’re reading more of what you want into his reactions than may be there. You want there to be something there which probably doesn’t exist at all and are looking for validation that something more could be there. You want to feel special because you’re the only one that hasn’t been completely discarded. He probably hasn’t walked away completely because you allow him to keep doing whatever it is he does without repercussion. If you let someone walk over you, you’re not an obstacle and therefore of little relevance to their greater goals. Then again, your emotional outbursting may provide some spike of amusement or excitement to shake up his boredom which holds his attention for a few minutes at a time.

    “If sociopaths have no attachments, why won’t he let me leave?”

    Odds are if you stopped trying, and he really is socio, the friendship would end and you would see that you are not so different than others in his life, except in the fact that you choose to continue to pursue this friendship to the detriment of your own emotional well-being. You want there to be more meaning in this than there probably is and you will see what you want to see.

    I am apparently, in a rather unsympathetic mood today.


    Hypnopath: ::laughs:: awesome.

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  14. The knowing smile between lovers speaks volumes. That is what some of us "get"

    A unique experience is worth something to some. And they have stuff to offer. Like use of their washer and dryer, spending money sometimes, nice family who treat you well (BIG PLUS for us lonely ones without great immediate families.) Gotta use them too! That's what they hope for.. they like company!)

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  15. So the question that I want to ask is: if sociopaths have no attachments, why won't he let me leave?

    Lots of different answers for such a simple question. So why does he? If you are looking for the answer that he loves you back you won't find it. That isn't the truth. The truth is you are probably a companion. Sociopaths don't have as much as a need for companionship as normal people, or at least that is true for me. However, we still need people. We are social creatures. After all we are only sociopaths in relation to the rest of public that we interact with.

    I personally think that your relationship is that of the Alpha Beta. The relationship you describe is more or less one I've gone through(On the other side of it) many times. You are accepting of him and in truth he probably doesn't do anything particularly destructive to you. That acceptance actually means a lot. We are proud of what we do. Our manipulations and deeds we want to share and be worshiped for. Many we can't share though or I should say we have to be selective about who we share it with and have to doctor the story to the person. He doesn't have to do that with you though.

    I think you are mistaking adoration for love though(I mean you adore him not love, though how different are the two really?). He probably fixes your problems and when you aren't willing to get over something fast enough he goes cold because he thinks he has put enough duct tape on you to seal the hole and you should stop crying. Giving you attention takes away attention from him. Which is annoying.

    Protecting you is him protecting his property. He probably has you exactly where he wants you. Very close but overall you can't have him to yourself. I must say that it is interesting that he doesn't sleep with you on occasion. I guess you didn't say that he did or didn't do that. I would find it hard not to. The accessibility makes it to easy. That would fuck everything up. Too many strong emotional ups and downs eventually turns a person into a weeping mess that just wants to run away. He wants to keep you in arms length. Overall though you are a possession. A very precious possession but none the less a possession.

    Just to make one last thing clear I've gone through multiple betas. The reasons though are always circumstantial. Such as I move and the person can't follow me even if they want to. So in one sense what you have is incredible rare. In another sense it can be easily reproduced and dropping you won't really hurt him.

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  16. Seems simple to me. You are a long term investment that has not yet lost its value. He protects you like an investment. You put up with his shit when other people won't, so you have lasted longer. You aren't special, you are just pathetic, and disturbingly so.

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  17. I've also been in love a man (whom I now suspect to be a sociopath) for the past two years. I simply didn't realize he might be one until about two weeks ago. The pieces started falling into place.

    In fact, we've known each other for fifteen years and I had a crush on him when we first met, so for some reason he has maintained some kind of attachment to me also.

    It has been a shock and I'm still trying to process it. I understand very well how you feel. He was so incredibly charming at the beginning. I thought he was the love of my life, but I now see that I was just one in a pool of women that he dabbles in at will.

    My own attraction to him is very strong but I think the commenters here are correct that these men know how to create chemical highs and lows that are difficult to withdraw from. My own plan is to break contact with him because unlike yours, mine has hurt me beyond my capacity to forgive. Unfortunately, it may only be a matter of time before yours does the same.

    I wish you all the best. I hope in time you can find someone who genuinely loves and cares for you.

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  18. He is keeping you around for some reason, maybe you are a codependent that he can boss around, but he isn't keeping you around for love or friendship.

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  19. I have a hard time beleiving the women on here when they say they dated a socio, they are in no right to diagnose. one a while back said that she is dating a dexter like sociopath that is extremely kind and loving to her... LOL?

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  20. he doesn't care about you?
    there is no real intimacy?
    he treats you badly (inevitable)
    he asks you for money (inevitable)
    he watches sadistic rape porn?
    he beat yo cats?

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  21. Sheesh, just go. I'm stunned by our ability to overanalyze every damned thing.

    Kevin

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  22. I am curious what is you guy's take on animal abuse. Most of the members of the family on my mother's side are sociopaths and one of them recently got a puppy. Long story short he beats and kicks the puppy when ever he is bored or frustrated. Personally I do not abuse animals and I am actually very nice to them. But i still can't resist asking my nephew to kick it. I wouldn't have done that if it was my dog. I know that Napoleon, Alexander, Hitler and even Borjigin Temüjin treated their pets very well. What do you guys think

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  23. i don't have a conscience, if i wanted to do anything to an animal i could easily do it without feeling a thing. i'm not one of those people that put animals before humans, imo those people are huge empaths. i don't know why people get so upset when a cat or a dog or even a child gets murdered or abused, i just say to them it's only a cat, what is one less.

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  24. IMO animal abuse is a sign of weakness. You want to abuse something that is powerless because you are generally powerless. It's easy to abuse things that can't fight back. Easy is boring and the realm of people of who lack ability.

    Also animals generally never give anything that wasn't given to them first.

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  25. it's not so black and white wet. think about it.. when does the sociopath abuse animals? when he has no authority or power. when a sociopath has no status or authority he can't function properly. hitler had all the power he would ever need, so he didn't need that power trip that bullying a weaker being brings. a bitter jobless sociopath who has just been subjected to criticism might go home and stab his dog in a fit of rage.

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  26. explains why nearly all sociopath serial kills are middle class, powerless, losers who live pointlessly.

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  27. are you saying it's a weakness in the typical empaths bullshit motto all cruelness stems from weakness, sort of way?

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  28. sociopathworld - all kindness stems from weakness.

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  29. explains why nearly all sociopath serial kills are middle class, powerless, losers who live pointlessly.

    How many books will you have written about ur life? (:

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  30. nice attempt at propaganda. Kindness is one of the most useful tool anyone could use. You have clearly not read The Prince. One should always be kind in everyday life.

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  31. that is the illusion of kindness you fool, it cannot be called kindness. i don't read self help books.

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  32. Anonymous June 8, 2011 12:06 PM

    I have a book of quotes written by me that i can sell to you.

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  33. Anonymous June 8, 2011 12:11 PM,

    You should read them. It doesn't make a difference, the result is the same.

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  34. June 8, 2011 12:15 PM

    You are kidding me right? In high school i was an entrepreneur or con artist depending on your interpretation.

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  35. "are you saying it's a weakness in the typical empaths bullshit motto all cruelness stems from weakness, sort of way?"

    No. When you have other things to fill up your time or more important things to dominate then burning ants with a magnifying glass isn't rewarding. When you have nothing of the sort the simplest manipulations are rewarding in their own sort.

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  36. Heaven

    Can you stop other BPD? If so how?

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  37. I enjoyed looking at the picture next to the blog today beacuse i have been in this situation many times and i simply didn't care... when someone is hugging me crying i just kinda of give a blank stare but talk as if i care..

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  38. He has her purse in his other hand.

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  39. He said he considers me one of his best friends, however my feelings for him are way stronger than simply friendship. That fact that I love him annoys him a lot, he hates any form of emotion or weakness on my side.


    Your view of your relationship with him is fantasy. You keep clinging onto hope that he will come around and he keeps that fantasy dangling in front of you to keep your relationship at his convienance.
    Everytime you try to get a commitment out of you he threatens to take away what little commitment he has to you already, your friendship. He knows that when he does that he can return your relationship back to the status quo that he is in control of.
    In all fairness this is a relationship you helped establish. If you remain friends with someone who rejects a romantic relationship with you, but keeps you around in a quasi non committed relationship you lose all say in everything. They have the ultimate power since you can't live without them and they can cut you off at any moment for any reason.
    You say things like he checks up on you, he's been with you for seven years, and he protects you. When you say it you have hope in these actions as if they show his care might blossom into something else. It won't.
    Sociopaths keep the air of seduction alive to control. You follow his seduction like a dog would with a trail of crumbs. Unfortunately I don't see there being a cake at the end of the trail. You will forever eat the crumbs and never be satisfied.
    Question:
    Are you intimate with him?

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  40. let me guess, you're relatively "ugly looking" compared to prick, and prick is relatively "good looking" compared to 99% of people.

    plus, you like the "prick" attitude.

    well, you are nothing but a "slave".

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  41. He wouldnt keep a ugly person around for seven years

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  42. reader, just because he's kept you around this long doesn't mean he always will.

    and he's kept you around this long because you are convenient to have as a backup while he plays around. he drops the others because he only needs one backup. it doesn't mean you're special or different from the others. if you were to leave he would soon find another to take your place. but there is no point getting rid of you because you are like an old pair of comfortable slippers, already broken in. everyone likes to keep around at least one pair of old slippers.

    and i felt slightly nauseated reading this: "I'm not here to complain, I am here to try and better understand him, so that I can further adapt better."
    as you adapt to him, he is adapting to you - and he is faster and better.

    effort better spent might be in finding another way to feel special.

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  43. reader wrote:
    .. when we would be driving with friends, he would tell me to sit behind the driver because thats the safest place in the car.


    he would TELL you? what are you, twelve? that's the worst seat. fuck that.

    a gentleman should always let a lady sit up front.

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  44. the safest seat in the car is in the middle back away from the sides, not behind the driver

    i'd dump him for that alone

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  45. The seat behind the driver's seat is the seat least visible to the driver.

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  46. Wet why do you ask your nephew to kick a puppy for you? How deficient you are, repulsive. I'd be so happy if everyone like you were dead.

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  47. Wet kicks puppies by proxy. :(

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  48. some good changes me seo wise
    good luck

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  49. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  50. ahh, sorry, looking at it again, it seems you made an image of the blog name and made a an alt for the image.. good

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  51. I don't understand why women fall for a sociopath's paint-by-numbers seduction and hollow acting, I really don't.

    They're intriguing to watch, especially when their machinations are particularly choreographed, but not the least bit believable.

    All the patterns they throw up in their words and actions are incongruent.

    How can women not notice this?

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    1. We do notice it. We just choose to overlook it because they make us feel all the things a woman wants to feel from a man. Think about it.. They have basically studied their entire lives on how to become what people want. now im just pissed because I have to settle for a regular life.. Lol

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  52. sometimes men don't notice it either... plenty of males get swindled or worse

    females have the roughest time...as an example, s's are usually high testosterone- females are sensitive to testosterone on a deep level - it arouses them - google it

    they are predators and have skills that work in that favor

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  53. Wet is icky inside. Icky.

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  54. He put her in the bitch seat. How funny.

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  55. Sure, I know about high testosterone levels.

    But I don't understand how sociopaths get to the point of hooking a woman without the woman walking away thinking, gosh, what a fake person.

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  56. Perhaps it only works on women who place a high emphasis on appearances, and the importance of keeping up appearances, beyond all else?

    Men would be easier to dupe, I do believe, for this reason alone.

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  57. i think you underestimate them

    the performance is for them not for you

    you would get something different

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  58. Aspie, I don't tar all sociopaths with the same brush. I'm just musing loosely out loud.

    After spending a few weeks with a sociopath I had a list of over 90 incongruent things I'd observed about him.

    Why don't other women?

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  59. r u a faggot sientist why do u make lists

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  60. it's an individual thing i guess

    awarness of stuff i think probably doesn't hurt

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  61. Beatrice Wood, famous potter at age 100 said . . . . “Between men and women it is good to play chess with the heart.”

    To today poster: There is a fine line between delusional love and obsession, unbridled passion and addiction. That is why at a certain level you can justify your loss of self-reverence and swim in a devotional soup.

    Yes, you are addicted neurochemically as his precious possession. I have experienced both being a possession and the gameskeeper. Both have their joys and torrid entrapments. We all crave excitement, puzzle boxes and adventure. It is important to know when an addiction is a life enhancement or self-destructive. And its up to your base instincts to know the difference or have aware support allies who will. The mind and heart play tricks. His tricks and yours.

    Questions to ask yourself: Is this constrictive to your potential? Are you available to experience love/sex with other men to have those desires met? If not, you have sacrificed. Real love is unconditional and is a sense of presence.

    Adapt? Does he know you are reading this blog? Knowledge is power. Perhaps that will get you another couple of years yet in the end, and all relationships end, will you be intact enough and your heart light enough for the courage required for your next adventure?

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  62. stop fishing for ansers u r both not intersting u r boring faggots an i have beter things to do an shit to fuck up

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  63. Please expand your vocabulary, Soulful.

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  64. Also recommended for you dear "The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family" by Eleanor Payson.

    On Amazon, go to LOOK INSIDE, then Table of Contents. The chapter "If He Only Had a Heart" and the next chapter on Social Relationships apply.

    Views your desperation dance through the 'looking glass' of Goethe's Faust and Margeuite, how operatic! Good luck. ;-)

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  65. DO NOT SLANDER MY FAVORITE WORD!

    A puzzle box (also called a secret, or trick box) is a box that can only be opened through some obscure or complicated series of manipulations (The puzzle box originated in the Hakone region of Japan at the turn of the 19th century as the Himitsu-Bako.) If opened, a puzzle box usually contains a sort of good luck charm. These boxes were made in various complexities, and consist of moves with a variety of twists to trick the person trying to open the box, but the real trick is finding the correct series of movements that can range from two to 300+ moves.

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  66. Classic narcissists

    These narcissists isolate one or more (but never most) aspects of their lives and "make these aspect/s stable". They do not really invest themselves in it. This stability is maintained by artificial means: money, celebrity, power, fear. A typical example is a narcissist who changes numerous workplaces, a few careers, a myriad of hobbies, value systems or faiths. At the same time, he maintains (preserves) a relationship with a single woman (and even remains faithful to her). She is his "island of stability". To fulfil this role, she just needs to be there for him physically.

    The narcissist is dependent upon "his" woman to maintain the stability lacking in all other areas of his life (to compensate for his instability). Yet, emotional closeness is bound to threaten the narcissist. Thus, he is likely to distance himself from her and to remain detached and indifferent to most of her needs.

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  67. 'paths usually are more physically attractive, ever met an ugly one?

    no, uglies usually try to be a nice guy, whereas more attractive people can get away with anything, so becoming a 'path is just a simple choice for them, since they can always get more anytime.

    i catch u kick puppy, i kick u head in......bitch.

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  68. what come first the looks or the path? or does the path create the looks?

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  69. looks -> easier to b 'path

    ugly/poor -> impossible to be effective 'path

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  70. Guilty?


    http://miami.cbslocal.com/2010/12/16/free-of-charges-tyler-weinman-speaks-out-about-moving-on/

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    1. Hmmm. He has a tell tale smirk and his attempt at controlling his emotions/tears for the camera seemed contrived but he's young and he'll hone his skills and may have a large trust fund to boot.

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  71. right, an ugly just doesn't really have the "tools" to be 'pathin'.

    not that i condone 'pathin', though 'paths can b good prostitutes.

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    1. "tools to be 'pathin'" LOL

      Delete
  72. Zeric,

    I do hope you'll write a bit about the F/m. So many sociopathic women seem parasitic...

    Curious, you speak as though you almost had a soul (a fetching guise). Your genesis story would be most interesting.

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  73. for instance, name any top 'path, guaranteed they 'aint ugly.

    ugly asses can't really manipulate cuz they 'ain t got nothin'to work with.

    it's like stfu ugly bitch.

    but if they r fine u r more likely to listen a little longer before saying stfu bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  74. an ugly sociopath (people using the 'path designation should be instantly struck down and dissolved imo) would use their strength... see my beautiful soul and my beautiful fingers with their dexterity... see my soul separate from looks and beauty

    ReplyDelete
  75. La Donna E MobileJune 8, 2011 at 9:10 PM

    you just need to meet someone else. you may have not for a while it seems. from my experience, one good thing that comes from having loved a sociopath is that when you meet another man, it actually feels great.
    Suddenly men who you did not care for before actually become attractive and men who may have not been your type become more appealing. I think after loving a sociopath, when you go back to the real world, one can find one has become more open minded. Suddenly different kinds of men are not that unattractive. After getting crumbs from a sociopath, getting invited to a drink from a new random stranger actually feels good. It is actually enjoyable and the guy does not even seem like a looser in a bar. He actually may have potential. If you were before your sociopath super selective and picky, after sociopath you may find that you are more open minded and tolerant. Suddenly you might see attraction in many kinds of men.
    Being with a sociopath means that you have unknowingly lowered your standards to the lowest level there is. After a sociopath, you might find that many new and different men are actually not that unattractive and they might have a little something you like. Being with a sociopath is being a woman in a very unnatural state. your body and mind might enjoy being back in the mode nature intended you to be. By being with a sociopath you are putting your womanhood in an unnatural and abnormal situation. you are getting deprived, ignored, rejected etc...
    Nature intended for women to get attention, desire, and adoration from men. that is what feels right. what feels good. and after being with a sociopath it wont take much for another man to make you feel good. just getting a compliment or looked at will feel amazing, while before sociopath, it may have been just normal. and during sociopath, it would probably with him be only a fantasy, a dream, you never seem to reach.
    there is candyland of men out there and the best time to experience this is after being starved of pleasure by your sociopath. There are men out there that really adore women. They really enjoy them. All that they need to make them better than a sociopath is the capacity to feel, a conscience, and empathy.
    That is not to hard to find. That which you missed in your sociopath, actually happens to be everywhere and many hot and attractive and sexy men actually come with these traits in their personality. It is so refreshing when you start meeting men like this again. It is like going from being stuck every day with grey skies (and getting used to it) to suddenly experiencing many blue skies again.
    your mind and conscience will love it. when you leave a sociopath and meet an attractive man you like who
    actually comes with a cool personality, charm and feelings too
    it will be like being back home again. Nature made us to feel our best with real men, it is sometimes we divert, try something new, get addicted, stuck, and we forget. But your true nature does not and it will be very happy to be back with the kind of men we wear meant to be women for.

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  77. 'Being with a sociopath means that you have unknowingly lowered your standards to the lowest level there is."

    He is my "rock bottom" moment.

    ReplyDelete
  78. just an observationJune 8, 2011 at 10:34 PM

    The sheep wearing wolf clothing is now posting as a wolf in sheep's clothing.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Why are sociopaths so snobbish?

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  80. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  81. aspie is in the real version of a poetic fog

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  82. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  83. you were on that fast
    just noticin'

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  84. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  85. Oh my! What a frenzy of befuddled sociopathic prowess. Carry on...

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  86. befuddled constructivist fuckery.

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  87. Observing the ObserverJune 9, 2011 at 9:06 AM

    There is more in Heaven and on Earth than is dreamt of in your philosophy. Just sayin.

    ReplyDelete
  88. Behind the glassJune 9, 2011 at 9:09 AM

    Do continue the experiment. We are amused.

    ReplyDelete
  89. i too am in love with a sociopath...he is moody, childish, impulsive and difficult. more than tat he is protective, makes decisions when they need to be made and he takes care of me and our children extremely well.. show a relationship where "normal" couples aren't moody, cold and detached from one another at times...my relationship is one of a deep understanding and appreciation of each other's isms..we can each be ourselves with one another...that is why he has chosen to commit to me...he can bare himself without his mask most of the time..he can be sweet, soft and vulnerable in moments..he knows i will not use his sociopathy against him...there is something to be said for finding someone you can be real with...even and especially when real means revealing your darkness and still feeling safe...thats why he stays...thats the connection...socios can connect under the right circumstances and if it benefits him, he will continue to stay..until it doesn't

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  90. I have a friend like you, Reader. I wish there were more people like you.

    You're beautiful!... '^L^,

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  91. You stay because you know that when you go, he will easily let you. You stay because it kills you to be so easily forgotten after all you have done. You want to go. You beg God to give you the strength to go. He would easily let you go, and it is THAT that keeps you there. Because at the end of the day, he matters more to you than anything else, including yourself. You know it's wrong, you know the past 7 years have been nothing but wrong, but you have been "gas lighted" to the point of madness....and I pray you get out. As much as I pray that I do.

    ReplyDelete
  92. Cruise by Alex Stofa
    When retired airline pilot Mac Knight and counselor Lynn Baker plan their annual three month summer cruise to the Bahamas, Both Lynn's and Mac's past bring a new dimension into their plans and into their cruise.
    In this fast moving page turner be a voyeur into the word of bigger than life sociopath Mac as he juggles living ghosts of his past with the promise of a future with Lynn. Be the fly on the wall as level headed Lynn, guided by her psychic childhood friend, deals with her own resurrected ghosts as Mac’s past unfolds before her eyes.
    Their passion keeps their romance together. But is their passion enough to stand time?

    Preview Cruise:
    http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/96859

    ReplyDelete
  93. My step sister used to torture flies by plucking the wings off of them when she was around 7 yrs old. Is that a sociopath brain? Meanwhile my real sister was sometimes very nice to cats and sometimes cruel. She abandoned her cat in the park when she was very annoyed with it. And a young cat she had, that grew tumors she destroyed by putting it in a bag and crushing it with a stone. Meanwhile we live in an urban area with the proper and free channels of support such as ASAP.

    ReplyDelete
  94. I agree with Better blu. I too am in love with a sociopath and to be honest...I am not fighting and using this sociopathy against him. Some people are just the way they are and if you can find a connection, why reject it? Turn the tables, find some benefit, try to use things you have near your hands too. Though, the point is... Go where you wanna go, be where you are happy and feel good and secure... You have to put yourself first. Yes yes we are ALL selfish... And aren't we all crazy? I say yes, we all have some madness. I just stopped fighting it. Instead, I find that connection. At first I though "Man... There's so many bat shit crazy people..." But then I realized... We're all like that. IMO... this is just all sort of definitions and words trying to explain something that cannot be explained. Stop fighting... Stop... I really wish people stop using words such as "sociopaths", "psychopaths", and such to describe someone and put them in a CATEGORY. Just be where you wanna be and just do what you wanna do, it'll turn the tables. If you don't feel good about the relationship, just dump him. Do it. Can't be that hard. That's why sometimes you need to be cold and don't feel guilt. Hehe. Oh wait... then YOU'll be the sociopath..... I guess you like to be sacrified.

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  95. I almost fell for the trickery of a sociopath. He appeared to be everything that I wanted. If I said I always wanted a Beagle, he would say "me too". After a while, I started to think all of this was kind of weird. Words didn't link to actions. He seemed superficial. He would sleep with lots of girls and brag about how he was the best lover. He would talk about his ex-girlfriend, not that he loved her so much and missed her, but about how good she looked on paper.

    Nothing seemed truly emotional or real. Everything seemed like he was trying to hard, and he had little attention span for anything. Luckily, I never got physical with him, and when I stopped being interested, he got really wretched. I don't think it was because he cared about me, but because he saw me as a possession and if he couldn't have me, he wanted to ruin me. It didn't really work, because good prevails over evil and you can't change someone's path.

    Point being: LIFE IS TOO SHORT. It might be painful at first, since you are emotionally attached, but just let go of him. He is manipulating you to make you think you need him. You don't need him! You already have all you need. Don't be fooled by his tactics, don't let him boss you around. A true friend is a rare bird, and he isn't true because if he was, he wouldn't tell you what to do, he would just let you be.

    Peace and Love

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jjdUdaIWIc&feature=player_embedded

      Delete
  96. I have been married to a sociopath for 35 years with whom I have 2 young adult daughters. I have lived a life isolated from family, and devoid of friends. My daughters and I have suffered like you cannot even imagine and have lived in constant fear. All these years he has worked from home and therefore we have been under his watch 24 hours a day, 7 days a week all these years.

    I tried to divorce him when our daughters were young, but was not prepared financially or emotionally and had no support system. He terrorized our daughters until they were so traumatized that they ate little, couldn't focus on schoolwork, and rarely spoke in the house.

    Over the years I have watched him leave a trail of broken lives, both personal relationships and business. I have watched him use people up and throw them away when they have nothing left to offer him. He takes, and takes, and takes.

    I am now 62 years old, and have just recently learned about narcacistic personality disorder and sociopathic personality disorder, both of which he exhibits ALL traits. i had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that my life has no value, and was ready to throw away what little is left of it. It occurred to me that I would rather die than give him what little I had left of my life! So at 62 years of age, after 35 years of death, I am seeking all the knowledge and support I can get my hands on to give myself a second chance at life. I am working at building my courage, strength and finances, and developing a strategy so that I can start a new life.

    ReplyDelete
  97. Knock wood the writer has gotten out of the relatonship with the sociopath by now. Listen, it all seems so great with them, but they are no different than an addiction to alcohol or any other drug. There are those highs (He loves you! He is the perfect person!), but the lows are the worst. Get off the roller coaster, go through the withdrawal (it make take 2 years in some cases, but you can do it!), and get those things you need mostly from what you do (want thrills? Go cliff jumping!). Forget the s'path. It really is a pack of lies and he really is a loser through and through. Way more than you are.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just remember: to piss on it AFTER you bite it to death!

      Delete
  98. As difficult as some of these blunt response are to take in, I appreciate the candor. However, insight has only opened my eyes and made me ready to let my sociopath go. I'm having a difficult time reconciling that this person did mean alot to me for almost 10 years. I only recently figured out that he wasn't just emotionally crippled, that in fact I was a mark. Try as I might, my own efforts in self care have not yielded any healing.
    When we last spoke and his truths were exposed, he lashed out in such shocking and horrific ways I feel stuck, like a PTSD survivor. I would love to know what I could be doing to move on and find joy again that I'm not already doing.

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  99. This is what I can see based on what you've written. You sound like a really smart woman who is attracted to intelligent men, but this guy really sounds less intelligent than you. I can tell that you're more intelligent than he is, so do this and it will work. Just think [do it daily for a while, but you won't need to do it for long] that you're more intelligent than the less intelligent guy you've been talking to, and all of his fake charm and illusion will dissipate. It's purely psychological, since intelligent women like yourself are attracted to smart men. Not in this case, though, since I can tell that you're more astute than he is, so it's not a good match for you. After doing this, and I GUARANTEE you that it'll work, you'll find a more intelligent man out there, and you'll see what I mean. Trust me, and do this, since it will work. I wish more women (or men) in your situation would read this, because this is what is really happening psychologically. You're smarter. He's not as smart. You need and deserve a smarter man.

    ReplyDelete
  100. This reminds me of the Dan Hill song: "Sometimes When We Touch." (1978).
    Dan Hill is a very interesting man. A few years after his first hit, he sang a duet
    with a woman called: "Can't We Try?"
    A man who murdered his girlfriend sang that song during the sentencing peroid of his trail.

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  101. Hello people.
    Please read my comment.
    Thank you.

    I guess, I first of all should have to apologize for not commenting on the topic, but I don't feel sorry, so I will just write what I have to say.

    On Friday, the 24th of October, 2008, (Sociopath haters = witch hunting freaks) there was an apprehension about people creating a community against sociopaths and sociopaths becomming a major issue.
    I fear the community of this website to be growing, because I have discovered this website while looking to find people, I would be able to relate to, which is something most sociopaths would enjoy...
    Though I would realy like to come in contact with people like myself and I think the internet would be an easy way for everyone to do this, because one can stay anonymous about his sociopathy, I am concerned if a community of sociopaths would just cause people to create a community against sociopaths...

    I would be pleased with an honest response and thank you for reading.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous,

      "I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship."
      {LMA}

      Delete
    2. Stay Smart,

      Maybe I think to much about consequences.
      I should rather be learning how to deal with the upcomming circumstances.

      Thank you very much for your comment.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous,

      "Timing really is nearly everything. And what it isn't, circumstance makes up for it."
      {SVZ}

      Delete
  102. omgomgomg do any of the borderlines here have a hard time stifling giggles in a professional setting? Help!! What do I do?!?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My friend told me to think of a funeral, but that only made me laugh harder because I KNOW I'm SUPPOSE to behave there. So no, the funeral idea didn't work :P

      Delete
    2. I try REALLY hard to hyper-focus on something that I'm supposed to be engaged in. This is one of those HARD things I mentioned the other day - for me it's maybe more a matter of stifling comments that are likely to piss people off and get us away from what we are supposed to be accomplishing. I am by no means perfect on this, but it's the best I got -

      I'm interested to hear suggestions as well -

      Delete
    3. Ma Haller and I were talking about our 1 year old daughter and feeding her need for stimulation. At the risk of being more than a bit cliché, Ma Haller, like many moms frets over questions like "have we done enough?" Like most dads, I don't, so I responded that it's not like our daughter is being raised in a Romanian orphanage.

      It took her about five minutes to stop laughing.

      I doubt that line of thought would be helpful...

      Delete
    4. HL Haller,

      Your job appears to be rude, to pierce the comfort of professional demeanor with boorish expressions of doubt.

      The partner of doubt is shame.

      He still gets these emotional waves of doubt that come over him, when he gets a bad review or when he accepts a part and thinks, "Oh God, have I been accepted? I CAN'T do that!"
      And he knows he can't.

      Delete
    5. HLHaller, artificial intelligence leaves _____ doubt that it wants its audiences to enter a realm of ________when it identifies one of the last remaining islands of _________ as New York. I'm not boorish. I won't fill in the blanks.

      Delete
  103. This is something universal than can work with other people, not necessarily those who are involved with a sociopath (look at my last comment). This can work with non-sociopaths as well. I wasn't thinking in those specific terms when I added my comment, since I usually don't view things based on a single concept. I just wrote in another comment section that not all sociopaths are the same. Some sociopaths aren't fake or hurtful people, or fitting into a socially-constructed stereotype. Also, their intelligence varies, just as the intelligence of non-sociopaths vary outside the stereotypical construct.

    ReplyDelete
  104. Honestly? It doesn't matter a jot whether this guy is a sociopath or not (or whether you are a borderline - which - in all honesty - you sound like). Sometimes you have got to stop overthinking and just look at the facts. You're in love with this guy. He's not in love with you. That means you've got to use your common sense and walk away instead of standing there like a victim, taking sloppy seconds (which you are). This is not a friendship. This is a situation where you are simply taking what you can get and sadly reading into every gesture in case there is more. You are investing WAY too much here. You might think you are too intelligent for the advice that applies to everyone else. You are not. What applies to Bridget Jones also applies to you. Stop moping over this guy. Go out, slap on some heels and down a tequila. And FIND SOMEONE ELSE.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just curious, why do you think that she's a borderline sociopath? How did you arrive to your "diagnosis"?

      Also, I want her to think and realize that she's VERY intelligent {more so than him, and this is not just "encouragement," because I see it in her}, and I truly believe she can be strong based on what I've read, so that she can find her true match.

      Delete
    2. I"m with you on this Stay Smart. Trying to talk someone out of a relationship on the internet is pointless at best and often counterproductive. It is not how to engage people in difficulties. It often is no more than a projection of the writers own experiences, and their own limitations too. Sociopaths are just as diffferent from each other as we all are.

      This is what I mean by projection "You might think you are too intelligent for the advice that applies to everyone else."

      I have a hard time seeing how such advise is helpful to anyone. She might think many things -- but you don't know her thoughts and projecting thoughts is -- what -- disruptive to communication?

      Delete
    3. You're right, it is difficult to talk someone out of a relationship on the internet, but I read her story and thought that my comment would "equip" her with something that is purely psychological in its nature, whether the person is a sociopath or not. It wasn't projection in the way that you see it; instead, it was a psychological method or explanation of how the mind works if given some thought, but, as you have also stated, not all minds are alike, whether those minds are sociopathic, borderline or non-sociopathic.

      Remember, while it can be hard to make yourself clear on the internet, not all communication is disruptive when dealing with something of this nature. You never know when a given psychological method, a different take on a situation, or a more empowered state of mind might just work.

      Delete
    4. DoctorSciFi,

      Just to be clear, are you having a hard time seeing how my advice, in particular, would work, OR seeing how giving any advice on the internet would work?

      Delete
    5. StaySmart, I was not saying YOU are projecting. The quote I offered was from another person. About advise, I don't think giving advise is helpful unless the person asks for it, and then being specific. I think rather to engage the person with dealing with their own thoughts and emotions, without giving advise is what can help. I do not believe your communication is disruptive. Apologies for that confusion.

      Delete
    6. I like when you apologize to yourself. Yr the bong baby cakes. I mean that. :))

      Delete
    7. DoctorSciFi,

      Thanks for clarifying. Well, at some point in time, this woman asked for advice in understanding and dealing with this situation and individual, and I have been quite specific in my reply to you as well as in the other replies I have posted. While we don't know what this woman's status is now, I did offer a psychological method for this, which I don't really see as advice per se. Perhaps, one can see it as an experimental or progressive outlook, since it does affect the mind in ways that promote a certain type of change.

      You have brought up emotions. I offered a DIFFERENT way of thinking, which is actually the foundation from where those emotions can be dealt with upwardly and in a more effective way. You need a STRONG foundation or a substantial base before you start anything - emotions build up from there, thus changing those as well in the process.

      Delete
    8. Stay Smart, I think you present your own pov, and make it clear that is what you are doing -- also not judging someone who has not realized or doesn't agree. I agree that looking at one's ways of thinking is important. Please note that I am not criticizing your words at all.

      Actually i find it difficult to read this post, because it reminds me of painful experiences I went through, and to some extent am still dealing with. I was confused indeed, hurt, anguished, anxious, lonely, bewildered and overwhelmed.

      These were intense emotions, that make it hard to think straight, and figure out how to better get my needs met. It wasn't till I felt fairly strong that I was able to get out of it. I also realized that continuing to engage with this person could only hurt me more -- there wasn't anything that we could come to terms with, closure, what have you...

      "if sociopaths have no attachments, why won't he let me leave?" Sociopaths and people with other personality disorders do have attachments, but they are different than the attachments 'normals' experience. It is hard to fathom the difference.

      "So what does he feel for me, if he actually feels anything?" There are lots of different ways of feeling. Did you have a favourite truck or doll as a child? I'm not saying this is what he feels. It is just an example of how the depth and nature of feeling can vary -- even if the object is another person.

      Delete
    9. Sorry to hear about your bad experience, and the way it has affected you.

      "So what does he feel for me, if he actually feels anything?"

      What I'd like to add to what you've written is that the depth of feeling varies from sociopath to sociopath, just as it varies from a non-sociopath to another non-sociopath. It is not being incapable to feel or to love, or seeing someone as a mere, lifeless object. It all has to do with a person's background, how certain relationships have affected them, and a whole array of life experiences that have prevented them from growing in ways that would help them show more feeling and emotion. All of these factors influence things to a point where some people just feel and become "absent" or better yet, "absent-minded" in connection to emotions and feelings {and contrary to what some people believe about sociopaths, it is not intentional}. They just feel frozen, but it doesn't mean that the capacity to feel or to love is not there. It is just the way that another person sees it through comparison. However, that absent-mindedness can be brought back and unfrozen through reassurance, trust and loads of love. It just takes the right person to take them through it, and it is never a submissive person, because a submissive is "guided" by the sociopath. However, it takes a special kind of person to achieve such a thing, because it can be quite a journey.

      But, yes, thanks for sharing your experience.

      Delete
    10. Stay Smart, part of what you write strikes me as fairy tale, 'beauty and the beast story':

      "However, that absent-mindedness can be brought back and unfrozen through reassurance, trust and loads of love. "

      I don't agree that any person can heal someone else -- they can help or not help someone who wants to change and has the means within them to do it. I don't believe that 'love cures all' or that the right kind of love can cure someone else.

      Sociopaths also do have strong feelings, some express rage for example. I also believe that the degree to which socios manipulate their own emotions (when you write it is not intentional) is hard to ascertain and probably also varies alot from one person to another.

      I don't agree with your model of absent-mindedness. I think it is an error in assuming we are all the same underneath. We are all different, some profoundly so.

      I think the relevant issues are much more about thoughts of control and entitlement, than about any kinds of feelings. The problems discussed here involve abuse, not sociopathy per se.

      Delete
    11. “Stay Smart, part of what you write strikes me as fairy tale, 'beauty and the beast story':”

      No, not a fairy tale at all, because I don’t think in those terms.

      “I don't agree that any person can heal someone else…”

      You’re right, not just ANY person can heal another. Based on your thinking and position, it goes beyond anything that you can imagine. This is not for everybody, or, as you have put it, “any person.”

      “Sociopaths also do have strong feelings, some express rage for example. I also believe that the degree to which socios manipulate their own emotions (when you write it is not intentional) is hard to ascertain and probably also varies alot from one person to another.”

      Yes, anger can be present at times, but then, non-sociopaths get quite angry, too. Wouldn’t you agree?

      You see, you thought of a negative emotion like rage, but sociopaths express other strong feelings, too. Again, it takes the right kind of person to bring that out of them, because IT IS there.

      I don’t agree with your idea that sociopaths manipulate their own emotions, because no sociopath would manipulate himself or herself. That would be like antithesis. From your perspective as a non-sociopath, you have formed a fixed opinion due to a lot of the material that you have read online. And then, consider this, because there isn’t just one kind of sociopath - the part that you need to remember so that generalizations and stereotypes would not influence your opinion to such an extent.

      “I don't agree with your model of absent-mindedness. I think it is an error in assuming we are all the same underneath. We are all different, some profoundly so.”

      I can see why you feel this way, since as a non-sociopath, you cannot possibly begin to understand absent-mindedness, especially when you consider yourself a profoundly-feeling person and the polar opposite of what you are discussing. I didn’t say that we are all the same underneath. What I meant to denote was that sociopaths do have the capacity to love, to feel and to express those feelings. I know that you don’t agree with me, but it’s true. You have formed your fixed opinion based on online material and other documentaries, TV films/movies or videos you have seen. Again, on one hand, not everyone is the same, and on the other hand, we can’t say that the majority of sociopaths are this way {as you describe it}, because there is too much repetitious, negative material out there which has influenced the way you think. It is the repetition that has made you think in a fixed way about sociopaths. Your thoughts have not become a pattern. Where is the room for open-mindedness?

      Also, and this is a question which might give you some fuel for thought. Do you distinguish between a sociopath and a psychopath? And if you do think about it, try forming an opinion by considering all possibilities.

      Delete
  105. Lol I was wondering how you came to the borderline conclusion as well. Borderlines become a force of destruction when they find out they're gettin dicked around...not all submissive.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I agree, Dr. Ginger. Borderlines aren't submissive at all. It's not in their nature to be submissive, regardless of whether they are males or females. I'm specifying this point, because some people see females as more submissive when compared to males, which isn't true, especially in this case - a borderline female. I also believe that to some extent, it might depend on the situation and individual they're dealing with, and whether or not they have inborn "affinities" that act as strong psychological points of attraction. Needless to say, even in this case, they aren't submissive, but, depending on how astute they are, they do recognize and acknowledge the "affinities" between them.

      However, in what way do you see them as a force of destruction? What do they destroy and why?

      Delete
  106. Having the inside scoop being one myself I can tell you their need for revenge is insatiable and can last years. It can be even more brutal if its between two borderlines. Borderline warfare. Its never ending. One feels like they have to get one over on the other. I've seen them destroy careers, families you name it. I understand that its pathological now and try not to act on it but if one
    doesn't have any insight in to themselves it can be very damaging.

    ReplyDelete
  107. Right, Dr. Ginger, borderline warfare can be never-ending, but, and this is more than just a mere thought, I believe that their inborn similarities can also assuage those bellicose tendencies, or maybe enhance their perspective on how to better deal with themselves and insatiable states of mind, thus bringing them together in a much different way (the opposite of being bellicose in certain instances). But, right, damage can be done as well if things get out of hand. As to being insatiable in those instances, that can be worked on, depending on dynamic and the type of interaction. Really, it can be done.

    ReplyDelete
  108. None of you are real? Correct? My psychosis must be spectacular, because every day I imagine that I exist, that the Internet is real and that thousands of psychotic and malevolent people are communicating with me.

    Only real people answer please. I am imagining you. Correct?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm presuming, they talk back & forth to each other. The same person. But heck at least it keeps the sight interactive. I don't mind. Just roll with it. It's entertaining. And keeps conversation going.

      Delete
    2. yes you are, I'm your morbid side... lol

      Delete
    3. Morbid Polar,

      What's the most morbid thought that you've ever had?

      Delete
    4. Anonymous, tell me why you believe that it's the same person. Besides, did you presume or assume this?

      Delete
    5. Radical Agnostic, have no fear.

      Delete
    6. "Have no fear," you say. Does not compute.Either I am completely psychotic and telling myself not to be afraid. Or, I am communicating with an unknown number of real sociopaths, psychopaths, and dangerous for other reasons people. Such as a dick named Andy Dick who was just arrested for stealing a necklace.

      Delete
    7. Rad, are you ril?

      Delete
    8. @ Stay Smart: fantasies my dear, what's your most morbid thought?

      Delete
    9. "Suspicion is one of the morbid reactions by which an organism defends itself and seeks another equilibrium."
      {NS}

      Delete
    10. Meant for Morbid Polar:

      "Suspicion is one of the morbid reactions by which an organism defends itself and seeks another equilibrium."
      {NS}

      Delete
    11. Suspicion? Are you SP? If so, I'd say suspicion and paranoia are the replacement of fear, in reference to your comment, a survival mechanism when the amygdala doesn't work ;)

      Delete
    12. Morbid Polar,

      Your response is elementary.
      My comment, however, had a double meaning. I didn't mean for it to be taken literally.
      So think harder and put some "gray matter" at work.

      Delete
    13. I'm dipsy now, I will need to drink about this tomorrow when I'm over this, then can repply to you smarty, I'm smart too, morbidly smart... :)

      Delete
  109. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Wzkb_3d9NA

    ReplyDelete
  110. I wouldn't go so far as to say you're in love with him. In my opinion, you are addicted to him, his presence and the occasional affection he gives you. You probably haven't been very successful with relationships before him, he probably 'gets' you in ways no other man has before, he may give you the impression that he cares for you, which he probably does, but not as a person cares for another person; more like how a person would care for his laptop or iPhone or an important possession that a person has an immediate and future need for. Once that need disappears, your value to him will also disappear, unless by some miracle his sociopathic brain has somehow developed a 'liking' for you and hence wants to keep you around a bit longer, the closest thing you can expect to 'love' from a sociopath. It will only last until he eventually gets bored with you, gained everything he may have wanted to get or learn from you and has no further use for you in his l8ife. Sociopaths are easily bored.. It's only a matter of time. If you haven't bored him in over 7 years, that's quite an achievement, hats off. I've been in a friendship like this before and it took me 4 years to realise I was dealing with a sociopath. I still love him, I'm still in contact with him but I no longer give him an importance in my life, hence the friendship has thinned somewhat and he has moved on.

    Learn what you can from him, stop being the inferior entity and rather use him as your tool to become a stronger, better person. If you've been manipulated and controlled and cared for by him for 7 years, I'm sure some of that has rubbed off on you. That's a good thing. Use it.

    Then move on from him, make him bored of you. Slowly, but surely, release your grip on him and run like hell. Before it's too late.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Athena,

      She is not the inferior entity, and never will be. I know she's very intelligent, and I can see that in her writing (read all of the other comments I included in this section), which has been a major point I have been making through my comments.

      Also, Athena, don't assume so many things about this woman. You don't really know her, and you don't know what has been truly happening between them over time. Besides, and this is very important, you don't know what is happening at the present time.

      Delete
  111. To Dr. Ginger: As far as I can tell, I am no more ill than any other 70-year-old whose dad died at 43, whose brother is schizophrenic AND bi-polar, and who tends to offend people almost every time i open my mouth to speak. And, also, who shot at a gray squirrel (an illegal immigrant to the Puget Sound island where I live in the woods where only red- brown squirrels are considered racially acceptable) and missed each time. My neighbor (part Sioux Indian with Crazy Horse as a great-great (I don't how many greats) uncle has a deer head and a bear pelt on his living room wall. We can't compete, but I suggested to my wife that once we kill the squirrel, we take to the local taxidermist and get the gray squirrel stuffed and mounted over our wood stove. The next time AE, our very empathic 10-yr-old granddaughter (with two married mommies in Seattle and two playing the field daddies in Chicago) visits us and sees the mounted squirrel, she will break down in tears, run out of the house screaming, and tell her children that her sociopath grandfather ruined her life. As after a dozen marriages (all at the same time) to both men and women, and perhaps one or a dozen children, who will break her heart by moving to the doomed Mars colony, you realize (after reading this incredibly long and boring comment) that there is no hope for humans. It's all your fault. Feel guilty. Oh, shit, this is the worst possible web site to tell people to feel guilty.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Athena,

    I was accused on this site of making blanket judgments, which, of course, had no basis in reality. It made no sense whatsoever, and considering the person who said it, it makes absolutely no sense to pay any attention to it. However, since I saw this being mentioned again, I couldn't help noticing that what you have written in here is exactly that - a blanket judgment, judging this man according to generalizations, stereotypes and other "typical" things you have read about sociopaths. What you have written in your comment is a comprehensive example of a blanket judgment.

    "...and rather use him as your tool..."

    Unlike you, this woman you're supposedly "advising" is not someone who would do such a thing. I can tell so based on her writing.

    "I wouldn't go so far as to say you're in love with him."

    You don't know what's in this woman's heart, so you're really off here. Besides, just as I wrote in my last comment, you don't know what is really happening at the present time between them. And you never will.

    ReplyDelete

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