Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Wisdom of Psychopathy

Another book recommendation, this time with audio clip:


I was reading an article on Scientific American’s website today, when I noticed an advert for an upcoming book entitled The Wisdom of Psychopathy, Kevin Dutton author. This one isn't coming out till October.

I looked the book up on Amazon just because and I also came across another upcoming book called Almost a Psychopath. This one is being released at the end of the month. As always, I thought you might be interested. 

I Googled the title of the book and came across this audio program ("The Psychopath in Us All"). I believe it's about 25 or 30 minutes. The first part is standard fare, all the stuff you’ve read about before. The second part, which starts at about 10:20, features Dutton. I was gratified to hear him voice something I’ve said on your blog numerous times over the last few years: it makes sense to think of all personality traits as existing along a spectrum, from extreme to moderate to barely there. Psychopathic personality traits are no exception. Then there’s the little chestnut I used in the subject line. Very self-helpy. Unleashing the inner psychopath is a universal dream of mankind.

142 comments:

  1. madjoe in da house

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    1. I fail to understand the point of the "first", it's not like anyone care about your achievement, nor it's a thing you should brag about :|

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    2. it's my nature
      i can't help it
      (<get out of jail free cart)

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    3. it's a socio thing

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    4. When you get one, you'll understand.

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  2. Replies
    1. No it's not, it's just some stupid thing some moron brought here from the outside world.

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    2. And we want to blend in, don't we?

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    3. sometimes i just want to see your face

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    4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. This is great. This book's originality is right up there behind the other one of the other truly latest and greatest pieces of modern literature reviewed on the very same website, "why is the penis shaped like that".
    "Unleashing the inner psychopath is a universal dream of mankind.". Um yeah sure.

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  4. I'm not blind, Medusa. I see what's going on here. I catch every last nuance directed at me, as well as toward most others. But I have my own agenda here. I'll say what I need to say as I see fit, because SW is the only place that I can purge some stuff.

    You're filled with hostility. You twist everyone's words so as to render them utterly meaningless, and then you indulge in a juvenile little victory dance over your semantic acrobatics. Bobby Fischer ain't got nothing on you.~

    You pride yourself on self-perceived intellectual superiority, but you are not deeply intelligent, and deep down inside, you are smart enough to realize it. And that makes you insecure, because your false pride in having a superior mind is where your ego props itself up, and it is a weak reed.

    Recently, you changed your avatar to a picture of Katie Holmes. You obsess over Hollywood characters, quoting them verbatim, like some asinine teenaged girl. You delete inane little comments because you are concerned about your reputation. Virtually every relationship you've described here was incredibly toxic and shallow, yet always, you must compare yourself favourably to the basket cases with whom you involve yourself, because that is the only way your insecure, pathetic self knows how to gratify itself. After all, your own failures do not appear as stark alongside someone like your crazy friend and all her cohorts.

    You are hostile because you are miserable, Medusa. No wonder you think I'm lying when I say I'm happy. You're a dejected, bitter person... Transparent, and weak.

    I hope you find yourself a Bible, bitch. And I do mean that sincerely.

    Kany, your little smilies and "Oh alters" are unnecessary. I am fully cognizant of when I am flirting with Ukan. Sometimes I do it just to piss you off. :)

    You are one of the most judgmental, critical people I have ever met, but you are completely blind as to how ugly it makes you, because your vicious barbs are rooted in personal insecurity.

    Yippy yap yap, Kany. Go chew on someone else's leg. Or better yet, start humping. It's always one or the other with you.

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    1. You evaluation of Medusa is completely correct. She's a stupid bitch and a dumb hoe. And everything else you said is spot on.

      As for your opinion of Kany, that's all you. I don't see it or care.

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    2. Nobody is a dumb hoe, Caesar.

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    3. I don't follow.

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    4. “You pride yourself on self-perceived intellectual superiority, but you are not deeply intelligent, and deep down inside, you are smart enough to realize it. And that makes you insecure, because your false pride in having a superior mind is where your ego props itself up, and it is a weak reed.”

      This reeks of projection.

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    5. "You are one of the most judgmental, critical people I have ever met, but you are completely blind as to how ugly it makes you, because your vicious barbs are rooted in personal insecurity."

      Hello pot, I would like you to meet kettle.

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    6. I'm a dumb hoe, don't pretend like I don't exist, bitch

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    7. How do you spell hoe? hoe or ho?

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    8. Caesar
      It means everyone has something to teach you, even if it is that you don't want to be how they are.

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    9. Tom Hill 6:31 Whether he's projected or not, they evaluation is objectively correct. The evidence bears out the claims and doesn't disprove it in any way. Did you see yesterday's threads, particularly the back-and-forth between Medusa and I?

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    10. Monica 8:29

      False. I'm on the mountain top. Not everyone can teach me something and quite honestly some people can't be taught. You're proof of that. How long have you been her without changing a single thing about yourself? How much pain do you still feel despite yourself? How much help have you squandered just to protect your inferior sense of self?

      I don't need an icon or idol to remind me what NOT to be. I'm not so directionless. In addition, Medusa isn't so ideally malignant to teach me anything. She's trashy but hardly remarkable.

      Some people should just die to make my life easier. Everyone has a set worth. When one's personality necessitates expending more energy than the wealth they provide then that person should stop existing in the public sphere until they fix their shit.

      Maybe the Japanese have a phrase for people who can tell when it's their time to die and make way for the next generation.

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    11. I like you Medusa. You say it how it is.
      -Ceasar (Yesterday)


      She rejected you and now you are sore. Ha ha ha. Go play with your wizards you fucking World of Warcraft goober.

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    12. Wake up UKan
      Caesar is Eden

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    13. UKan 10:01 AM

      I don't feel rejection so I don't react to it. I noticed that she was making a shit-ton of nonsense in direction so I don't hold her in a favorable light right now. That might change tomorrow. I try to start each day in a new light.

      And I don't play WoW right now. I haven't played any MMO in a year and a half. 3 years if we're talking WoW. Not by choice. My hard drive failed and I'm running linux until I get it fixed. Q_Q

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    14. I may have felt rejection once, when I was a small child. From my mother but that was around the same time I sent my emotions underground to protect peace of mind and sense of agency. So rejection has always been one of the things on the periphery of my consideration that I let slip past me.

      Why would I not cease to give someone the power to affect me with their rejection or acceptance if it doesn't change the outcome?

      Things I ignore aren't felt and consideration of their existence doesn't even reach my conscious mind, except when it's an unexpected comment.

      I like power and I want all of it. So even my frame of mind is structured with that value in mind.

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    15. Conversation from August 5, 2012:

      Tom Hill said:
      “Caesar, I don't think you have a PD. I wouldn't try to "heal" a PD. I see a lost young man in you who needs direction and is grasping at any compass heading he can in order to figure out what is going on. You dropped out of college and started toking up. You have this amazing epiphany through your drug induced personal journeys that have led you to believe you are even more special than our modern society has already had you feel. But now this special is a "different" special. You can not possibly be like all these army ant-like people going about their daily lives because you have had the epiphany. Your anxiety is a clear manifestation of an underlying issue that I see could be depression. 

But, again, that's just my take on the subject. Stop the drugs. Go back to school. Enjoy life.”

      (Shows rejection to Caesar’s claim to have ASPD)

      Caesar said:
      “Tom Hill 10:30

You're completely wrong. You got my story wrong. And I don't do drugs.

      Tom Hill said:
      “"I went to college and flunked out smoking weed and trying to wrap my head around all of the changes around me"



      These were your words. I said you were a lost young man looking for answers who may be battling from depression. A young man who should stop doing drugs (because your head is a little fucked up right now) and get back to school in order to help build his self esteem thereby combating some of his anxiety. You admitted to all this. Is this not right? Would you like to retract some statements?"

      Caesar said:
      “Troll harder nigger.”


      Today:

      Caesar said: “I don't feel rejection so I don't react to it.”

      Caesar said: “I may have felt rejection once, when I was a small child. From my mother but that was around the same time I sent my emotions underground to protect peace of mind and sense of agency. So rejection has always been one of the things on the periphery of my consideration that I let slip past me.”

      Interesting…

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    16. Tom, you're trying too hard and you've literally taken all of my replies out of their context. You were/are completely wrong about me and through little fault of my own think of me in a way that isn't correct. Maybe you need to drop what you know and start fresh.

      Pay attention this time.

      I know what depression is. I know personally how it feels to me. It is no longer relevant in conversations about me.

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    17. For some strange reason, I have a raging hard-on.

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    18. I said nothing this time, Caesar, other than, "Interesting..."

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    19. Tom Hill

      "I said nothing new, Caesar, other than, "Interesting..."

      Fixed that for you.

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    20. You change your mind almost by the hour Caesar

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    21. That you change your perception or judgement of me or my character frequently says nothing of the rigidity or fluidity of my identity, UKan. It just says you can't see the big picture unless I give it to you, which I'm not inclined to do.

      You might make a comment 1 minute or 1 hour from now that inclines me to do so. If that's what you mean by 'changing my mind' then you are spot on. I might not have any set beliefs. I might change my beliefs to suit the path of least resistance.

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    22. I might change my beliefs to suit the path of least resistance.

      I beg to differ.

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    23. Mɵᴅʊsa

      Differ. I don't mind.

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    24. I might change my beliefs to suit the path of least resistance.


      Most followers do

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    25. Let me fix that for you:

      "I might change my beliefs to suit the path of most resistance."

      Or, alternatively,

      "I might keep my beliefs to suit the path of least resistance.

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    26. UKan I'm capable of following and I'm capable of leading. A leader should have a set identity and morals and ideals if those are what his followers need to fight better. But I'm not waging war am I? Nope. I'm sitting in my room eating raisins talking on a comment section. Consider my follow mode on until it isn't. :-)

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    27. Oh, alter. There really is no hope for you.

      And caesar, you're starting to sound a lot like mee.

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    28. UKan I'm capable of following...


      You could just finish like this. I don't really need the rest because it's bollocks. You have the charisma of a abused animal.

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    29. UKan 11:55 AM

      Only online. Child-like optimism; non-threatening preternaturally beautiful smiles; and diffuse sexuality is my game but you don't know if I'm lying or not. Because you all matter as much as a bucket of warm piss. So this is the Caesar you get. Whenever I even start to try I get frustrated because internet points don't translate to anything in the real world. This is the last time I'll say so.

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    30. _srM-Kany 11:53

      And caesar, you're starting to sound a lot like mee.

      I'm not sure how to take that. All I know about mee is he wanted to know if he was a sociopath and then through some private communications he figures out he was and he didn't care?

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    31. Only online. Child-like optimism; non-threatening preternaturally beautiful smiles; and diffuse sexuality is my game but you don't know if I'm lying or not. Because you all matter as much as a bucket of warm piss. So this is the Caesar you get. Whenever I even start to try I get frustrated because internet points don't translate to anything in the real world. This is the last time I'll say so.


      Only online? I doubt that. You are putting your best face on not pretending to be humble. Let's be honest here. If none of us mattered you wouldn't be here nor would you be responding.

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    32. Right. That's what mee did.

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    33. Excuse me, sir, I find whiskey very charismatic!
      :-P

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    34. "This reeks of projection."

      Ya think? What an easy thing to say.

      I know I'm smart, but I am also aware of my cognitive limitations. But I have been watching Medusa for over 9 months. I know what she is.

      You are a Buddhist, Tom? You remind me of The Notable Path, or Daniel Birdick- but everyone here seems to believe you are Gungy. What's your story?

      Kany is always either sucking up to someone or criticizing them. It's just her M.O. What I dislike about her is that her criticism is mean, as opposed to constructive.

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    35. Criticism born of pure malice revolts me. It's a cliche, but I guess I'm the hero type. But I'm getting over myself. :P

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    36. Lol!
      Like you can know who anyone is. Even after nine months. Your "analysis" touches surfaces about Medusa, but misses everywhere.

      Tnp, maybe. Bird, no way. I thought thunderball had returned with all the old posts resurfacing people via emails. Check the forum, before you say something to embarrass yourself, as usual.

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    37. So what do you see in my husband?
      I guess you hold double standards when it comes to daddy issues.

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    38. Alterego, get off my thread.

      Fuck you UKan! You're not my real dad!

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    39. Shut up, Julius. "Your" thread!! BAHAHAAAAAA!! I'll post where and when I see fit, loser. We all do and say as we see please here. If you haven't figured that out now, you're a complete idiot.

      I don't think it misses anything. Medusa is profoundly insecure.

      Was your comment regarding your husband addressed to me, or the Emperor who wears no clothes?

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    40. Please stop stealing my imagination. It's kind of rude.

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    41. Alter,

      My Dog Tags still read Buddhist. I studied religions early in life and Buddhism seemed to fit at the time I was asked about what to put on my dog tags. I am an atheist. I am gungy. My story? head to the forum, Alter.

      Kan said:

      "Like you can know who anyone is. Even after nine months. Your "analysis" touches surfaces about Medusa"

      Kany is right. You can not be certain you know anyone here. Why is it you get so irate with Medusa? Does she have something you want?

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    42. Nice to see you Caesar. What is that image? Is that a Marvel anti-hero?

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    43. I have an odd feeling that her above word explosion was touched off by igniting the following wick:

      Alter, I have a feeling your husband often tells you that you don't hear a fucking word he says to you. If not yet, he will.

      C₆H₂(NO₂)₃CH₃

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    44. I've been busy; I've had little time to check the forum lately. Welcome back Gungy!

      Analysis can really touch the surface here, because we merely disclose what we want to. Besides, I am not emotionally very deep.

      I actually rather like Medusa.

      And... Wrong Gorgonzola! Calling me "dumb shit" is what brought it on. I don't back down when challenged; I learned that from daddy dearest. Mind you...

      C₆H₂(NO₂)₃CH₃

      is where my own cognitive limitations become very apparent. :-)

      My husband and I have learned to take turns listening to each other carefully. I am proud of him and all his accomplishments, though, so it is fairly easy to for me to hang on his every word. He's a leo, too, so he sucks it right up just like a squishy fish. ;)

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    45. *really only touch the surface here...

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    46. Besides, I am not emotionally very deep.

      +

      Calling me "dumb shit" is what brought it on.

      =

      You figure it out.

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    47. "Like you can know who anyone is. Even after nine months. Your "analysis" touches surfaces about Medusa"

      Kany is right. You can not be certain you know anyone here.

      Actually I was being specific. We can know people. Alter cannot.

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    48. Another corny insult from the mouth of a christian

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    49. Gorgonzola. A play off the word Gorgon. Medusa. Gorgon.

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    50. Right... sucks for you Medusa. At least I get to be pop nasty.

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    51. Kany,

      I would still argue that you can not know anyone for certain, ever. On this blog site, with virtual anonymity, most of what we KNOW of another person I propose to be projections of ourselves into the voids created by the disconnection and distance. That, combined with the tainted details of a self portrait, we see a reflection of the person, but hardly ever the full individual they truly are.

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    52. I'm just being honest, Medusa. If you want to fight with me, just cast the first stone. I enjoy debate. It's like sport, for me.

      Kany, you've mis-characterized me as everything from a southern belle to a cock-sucking secretary. Every single time you've attempted to qualify my relationship with my husband, you've failed, in spite of my greater transparency here than anywhere else. (I lead the relationship, my husband is submissive, blah blah blah, yippity yap yap.)

      You've done this with so many people, so often, that I don't pay attention to a word you say.

      You think you're hot shit, but you're just full of shit. And you don't realize how badly your pride stinks, because you cannot- and will never- admit to being wrong about anything. Your false pride renders you insufferable.

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    53. Good for you. I would argue that people put themselves in anything they create, including expression. At that point it is based on personal insight to be able to decipher a person's image. And I'm not saying I'm perfect at it, but I am saying I can tell ego is too arrogant and self centered in everything she does to ever be able to see someone clearly in a text format like this.

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    54. We went over that alter. I admit to being wrong, but not to you.
      and in general I just enjoy insulting you. I don't always aim for accuracy. Just what sticks at the moment. One of us has to mix things up.

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    55. Hey! I think Gorgonzola is cute. And I meant it playfully, not insultingly. :P

      Anyway, I can't really afford to get drawn into another bataille royale tonight. I've got lots of crap to do.

      Delete
    56. I'm just being honest, Medusa. If you want to fight with me, just cast the first stone. I enjoy debate. It's like sport, for me.

      Anyway, I can't really afford to get drawn into another bataille royale tonight. I've got lots of crap to do.

      I've heard there's a Crystal Castle somewhere in Australia. Is this true, Ellicit?

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    57. I think Alter sees Medusa pretty clearly. You just want her to be wrong about everything because you don't like her, Kany.

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    58. "I would argue that people put themselves in anything they create"

      Absolutely. No argument.

      I might add we tend to put ourselves into everything we observe. It takes the ability to be completely honest to see where you are putting yourself into your observations. That doesn't mean you have to be an honest person, just have the ability to apply honesty to analytical situations. Do you think it is Alter's arrogance and self centeredness that inhibits her from being honest enough to accurately asses someone?

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    59. heh yeah. I've been there. It's a gaudy freak show.

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    60. I think she ski s a surface. And yes, I do want her to be wrong. But she merely touches on the obvious and calls it sharp. She's dense and simple. Its a flat "analysis"

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    61. A flat analysis given on a flat personality. Seems quite fitting to me.

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    62. I know of someone who's not nearly as flat as she is, nor as flat as I.

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    63. I know of many someones.

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  5. I believe it's about 25 or 30 minutes. The first part is standard fare, all the stuff you’ve read about before. The second part, which starts at about 10:20, features Dutton. I was gratified to hear him voice something I’ve said on your blog numerous times over the last few years: it makes sense to think of all personality traits as existing along a spectrum, from extreme to moderate to barely there. Psychopathic personality traits are no exception. Then there’s the little chestnut I used in the subject line. Very self-helpy. Unleashing the inner psychopath is a universal dream of mankind.

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  6. I was gratified to hear him voice something I’ve said on your blog numerous times over the last few years: it makes sense to think of all personality traits as existing along a spectrum, from extreme to moderate to barely there. Psychopathic personality traits are no exception. Then there’s the little chestnut I used in the subject line. Very self-helpy. Unleashing the inner psychopath is a universal dream of mankind.

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  7. Did anyone else see the movie Stone?

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    1. i did great Edward Norton

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  8. “it makes sense to think of all personality traits as existing along a spectrum, from extreme to moderate to barely there.”

    As posted by How to Heal a PD two days ago:

    “I will list the PDs and show the exaggeration from the norm

    Co-dependency
    Everyone wants to be loved but Co-dependents give up their whole/partial identity to be loved

    Histrionic--Everyone wants attention, but HPDs have little/no identity without it

    BPD--Everyone is afraid of being abandoned and alone, but BPDs do not have enough personal sense of identity to buffer this feeling. Hence, they live in it.

    ASPD--everyone has a selfish, egocentric and badass part to himself. ASPD has this part exaggerated. The vulnerable part is decreased, as a result of the over muscular build up of the former.

    Schizoid--Everyone is a little weird. Schizoid thinks he is the only one. He is stuck thinking he is different than others. Actually, everyone is a weird-o. Some people just accept their weird slices.

    Narcissists want to be important and special, as we all do. They do it by erecting a false self who is uber special, rather than finding the true uniqueness of the real self.

    Mal Narcs have to be the best of anyone, anytime and anyplace. Hence, people are put above or below. They can welcome the ones below but must tear down all the ones above in order to feel they have a sense of self.

    We all compare ourselves to others. It is normal to do so, but not let it define and rule one's own life.”

    Practical explanation. I like it.

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    1. Thank you, Tom and Medusa
      This is the journey I must make. I am glad it offers something to someone else. It makes it much more bearable.

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  9. The minds are amazing here. I have only ever observed, but had to express my appreciation for your absolute genius thoughts and ideas. I cannot get enough.

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    1. "Wow" can be highly insulting...expound....

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    2. That I would dare to look beyond my conscience? To ask ,what is the conscience really?.....is it something that select people posess and others do not? Or is the "concience" nothing more than a fascade that we hide behind to keep from exposing the deepest parts of our humanness? This forum challenges my mind to examine what's behind the mundane, the "status quo", the cliche' answers to my deepest darkest thoughts. We are all psychopathic to a point, acceptance of this concept lies in our willingness to encounter the "forbiddens' and eventually, embrace them.

      Delete
  10. "Unleashing the inner psychopath is a universal dream of mankind."

    Weird. This sounds very metaphysical to me. I know Monica and Alter profess to be Christian and seem to be on a spiritual quest of some sort. Ell has said she identifies with Buddhism. Buddhism is what is stamped on my dog tag. Is there anyone else here “questing” on their spiritual path? If so, what do any of you make of this “universal dream” of mankind?

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    1. It all confuses me so I don't bother, may be too deep for my simple form of thinking.

      Piles

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    2. I'm a Christian.

      And a very rational thinker, I expect miracles.

      And I'm never disappointed.

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    3. I'm with Piles on this one.

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    4. TIK: Just about every clause contradicted something else in your post. Enjoy your cognitive dissonance.

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    5. I think "Universal dream" is a bit of a stretch, but I believe that any journey we embark on with an open mind will unmask the faces of our humanness on many levels. But most will not allow themselves to entertain the notion that there is a psychopath within each and everyone of us. I have found that people are plastic. They break at the first encounter with truth that exposes their darkness. So, Universal dream gives too much credit to peoples capabilities in "handle with care" subject matters. Just my opinion

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    6. Although I agree with much of what you said there, Anon 8:30PM, the "any journey we embark on with an open mind will unmask the faces of our humanness on many levels" doesn't register to me. Too spiritual, maybe? Could you explain?

      Also, I too see people as a fragile vessel (more porcelain for me) that CAN break on contact with truth, but if the truth is presented in a way so as to act more like a polishing cloth these porcelain creatures become beautiful works of art. Press to hard though, and you end up with a pile of broken glass. No fixing that shit.

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    7. It doesn't go with some people. Me. It does not go with me. I will disintegrate. When creatures become beautiful pieces of art they are then objects. I do not like performance art. It's fucking stupid.

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    8. Simply saying any journey, be it spiritual, sexual, psychological, If We examine our true self in any journey, our self awareness should be broadened. we will find darkness that most would not admit to having, but people are not strong enough to truly encounter that, much less admit even if they do. I am finding out what I am made of on a very insane journey with an amazing sociopath.

      Delete
  11. If someone bugs you, they are someone in your family and you are someone in their family~

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    1. If someone fingerbangs you, you should enjoy it and be turned on by it. ~

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    2. Except it it is your mother, maybe ~

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    3. I did enjoy it, even if it was my mother. I saw it as a gift, she taught me the pleasures of life at such a young age, thank you mother. xx

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    4. I still think about my son from time to time, I think about how he blew his head clean up and blamed me for being pathetic, it makes me so fucking wet... I have to tell you the truth, SW, I'd love to kill my mother with that claw hammer and cut her arms of, to fingerbang myself, while thinking of my son's suicide. It'd be my wet dream. Thank you SW for making me realise this. xx

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    5. I'm really curious; is ^ that the real Monica or the fake?

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    6. Actually, that first comment has a point. Sexual activities are eant to turn us on. Theoretically we should be orgiastically enjoying our sex lives... some people do. The only thing that adds shame to such sexual practices is the social condoning of them. In varying cultures, sex is much more open, and so things aren't so looked down upon. What gives you shame, Monica, is not that your mother was sexual in the way that she was, but that you felt the way you did. You know that in this culture that is strongly looked down upon, and so it makes you feel extreme guilt for being such a socially alienated person. But its not your fault. Your body's programming has nothing to do with the choices you make. Its good to have those natural sexual desires, and that you felt them in odd circumstances doesn't change the decisions you make with how you interact sexually.

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    7. I think it was the guilt over how much I hated her but I love her, too.
      I really could kill her with my bare hands, but I am very close to her and she loves me.

      Delete
    8. You hate her, but you love her, what? That doesn't make any sense, it's one feeling or the other. You won't kill her because you lack courage, that's the only reason.

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    9. No, I hate her so much I could destroy her, but I am more attached to her than anyone in my life.
      I hate her for being weak but I became weak because I thought I would kill her if I was strong and left her.

      Delete
    10. You're back tracking, Monica. You're angry with her for alienating you the way she did. Anger is a good emotion for this. She should have protected you, but she couldn't. I think your hate comes from how mad you are at her.

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    11. And what are you angry about?

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    12. I feel guilty over everything--every selfish impulse, every vain thought, every selfish desire, every desire to want ANYTHING for myself-- in any realm of life from emotional to physical.

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    13. I am very close to her and she loves me.

      What makes you say she loves you, Monica? From everything you've said your mother sounds incapable of love. It sounds like she may have fostered dependence in you though.

      Delete
    14. I will tell you guys about some incidents because I can get into my head and go nowhere.

      I told you about this one, but I will tell you again.


      I was 13 and met a kid at a dance. It was a religious organization and in those days you could go to stay at a kids house and it was safe(usually)

      He was just a friend and he asked me to come to his house and go to his high school, the next day. My mother never called his mother.

      My father, just, dropped me off at his house. It was an hour and a half away.

      His mother was not home and the step father was eying me.

      I had really large breasts for a kid.

      I knew I would be in trouble if I did not get out of there. When I went to my room, there was no lock on the door.

      I started getting very upset and called home for my mother to pick me up.

      She said, 'You made your bed. You lie in it"
      I was hysterical. I called and begged my father to come and get me, which he did.

      Then, recently I told my mother about this and she bragged that she never would have gotten me, but my father did it, on his own.

      She was defiant as she said it, like bragging.

      Delete
    15. I know where you feel guilt. The feelings you felt in the moments with your mother make you feel shame, and that reaction you had makes you feel abhorrant you feel deviant, and rejected, because of how harshly society views those actions. But it wasn't you committing the actions, and the way you reacted was natural and OK. You don't have to feel abhorrant or rejected. Its not your fault. What you do need to feel is angry.

      Your mother too, advantage of your helplessness and of your body in a way that is absolutely unacceptable. She used you in your delicate fragile age, and she satisfied her own sick impulses with no regard for you.
      Tell me how your mother angers you, Monica.

      Delete
    16. Your mother sounds like she was abused, Monica, and she hasn't gotten over it any better than you have.

      Delete
    17. She deserves the claw hammer, Monica. I only ever used my fists or threw things at my mother. If she'd done shit like yours I'd have killed the bitch. I'd fucking rape her before and after death too.

      Delete
    18. Miss, you are sounding a lot more Freud than Jung.

      Sound it out.

      Delete
    19. I appreciate you guys helping me. I can only talk about it, a little at a time and I don't want to take up the whole board with myself, either.

      Delete
    20. Well, when you're ready to be mad at your mother...

      And how so, Medusa?

      Delete
    21. How do I deal with the hate?

      Delete
    22. Acknowledge what you are mad at. And try to understand your mother is incapable of a lot of emotions you would consider simple. It sounds like she is perpetuating a form of abuse. Something painful she can't understand so she reenacts it to overcome her vicitimzation. It sounds as if she is taking power from her abuser by abusing. Just a shot in the dark.
      When you acknowledge what you are angry with, take it a step further and tell your mother what angers you about her.
      And what is it? Why are you mad?

      Delete
    23. Yes, her power comes from abusing. She has little personal power, even to train a dog( not that my dog is trained ~ )

      I am angry because she got her power needs from abusibf me. She had little power in her regular life, so she took it all from a child who needed her and loved her.

      I gave them up, too,and still have.

      Delete
  12. The Psychopath In All Of Us:
    A Story of Pempathy

    By

    Stavraki

    ReplyDelete
  13. "Unlike the normal person, he can choose what script to follow. He is not compelled intuitively or automatically to react to the way he knows you feel. And unlike the normal person, he has been told, or learned by observing others, what he is supposed to feel."

    Are there other borderlines here who are like this?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Would someone please define "normal". Who is normal? And who decides what normal is? Normal changes with perspectives. Are any of us really Normal? I don't believe we are. Do we respond Normally because we are normal or have we been taught what normal is supposed to look like so we morph our otherwise wretched selves into "normal" for the mere approval that we are conditioned to need?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great question.

      Delete
    2. Fucking thank you.

      Delete
    3. Normal is your own personal baseline. It is personal.

      Delete
  15. But this has british accent?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, the guy is English. Just like A Clockwork Orange. That also has british accent.

      Delete

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