Friday, August 31, 2012

Volume and nuance of emotions

Once upon a time I was discussing music over lunch with a graduate school advisor. I mentioned to him that my biggest strength as a musician was having a highly tuned ear, being able to distinguish between slight changes in intonation that most people would not be able to perceive, much less know in what direction the pitch moved and by how much. Later in the conversation I asked him to repeat himself and explained that I have a hard time hearing in crowded, noisy places. He looked confused.

"I thought you just told me that you have good hearing."

I was about to explain when I saw him understand, "Oh, you have bad hearing, but it is nuanced." 

Yes! Exactly. I have bad hearing but it is extremely nuanced. In fact, sometimes I have wondered if my hearing became nuanced to compensate for my hearing being bad. 

I was remembering this story recently and thinking, maybe this is a good analogy for how I interpret emotional cues. People always wonder, how is it that sociopaths are so mind-blind about somethings but can be so uncannily perceptive about others. I've had a hard time explaining it myself. But maybe it is just this: that it's difficult for me to hear certain things and not others because they are actually unrelated in a way that is not obvious to the average observer. Maybe the emotional cues I am picking up on use a different sort of perception, like less empathy, more sheer observational skills. Or it's more something that can be learned with practice, like reading people's microexpressions

Or maybe it's hard for me to pick up on big picture things, like which emotion, and it's easier for me to pick up on small emotional nuances, like how that emotion is affecting a person's motivation in that moment. Maybe it's like Newman says, that sociopaths can do quite well with emotion as long as their attention has been directed to it (e.g. talking with a person one on one), but if there is too much background noise distracting, it will go completely over my head? 

I haven't refined the theory yet, but I feel there is something to it.

102 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes! Exactly. I have bad hearing but it is extremely nuanced.

    This is me.

    In fact last month my 'friend' told me to get a hearing aid, but that was just her doing some fucked-up blame shifting gaslighting bullshit when she accused me of lying when I didn't hear her say something from another room with the hair dryer, sink and laundry dryer all going on.

    But's it's true my hearing is weird. I have a hard time following conversations sometimes, and in a crowd I generally just give up and nod my head at whatever anyone is saying. Sometimes I feel I can't hear as well if I can't watch the person's lips move, even not in a crowd.

    Musically it's a way way different story. Play me an arrangement of 200 different instruments and I could easily pick out each one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would be surprised if hearing (or more specifically, trusting that what you hear is the same as what is being said, which seems to translate to actual hearing ability as far as I see it) is not related to one's ability to connect with others.

      I'm always asking people to repeat what they just said, but a good portion of the time, after they repeat it, I realize I heard them right the first time.

      It's a bit strange.

      Delete
    2. Perhaps there's also a low latent inhibition thing going on as well.

      Delete
    3. When I'm having trouble following what someone is saying, in for example a YT video (maybe they're singing, and singing makes things less clear for me. Lots of misheard lyrics. Or maybe the volume has to be low) I noticed looking at their lips helps even though I can't lip read. Maybe it's because I'm concentrating on them.

      Tag Y

      Delete
    4. I have to look in the mirror while I'm talking on the phone or I have hard time understanding what people are saying... but I would also say hearing is my weakest, or foggiest sense.

      Delete
    5. Huh? The mirror? I'm curious how that helps?

      Delete
    6. I'm always asking people to repeat what they just said, but a good portion of the time, after they repeat it, I realize I heard them right the first time.

      Happens to me all the time. You don't hear them, and then a couple of seconds later you know what they said without them having to repeat it.

      Delete
    7. Hi Kany. I have missed you :)
      I, always, wondered about something which is related.Actually, my music teacher brought it up and he is really into the kind of thing you are writing about ME.
      He said that I am very perceptive because I had to develop this skill to survive. He said it is an adaptation from severe abuse and a hyper trait, not a natural one.
      I have given up good parts of myself, in order to have this. I am very high strung. I jump at any small noise. I hate any change, even simple ones like the computer having a change.


      These two things are not good at all and they are just a few I can think of. However, I was so perceptive as a child that I could read minds. I had to shut it down because it was too scary, in the environment in which I lived.

      My hearing is fine, though~

      Delete
    8. I was so perceptive as a child that I could read minds. I had to shut it down because it was too scary

      I've been wanting to talk to you about this, actually. I'm not focused enough right now to know what questions I want to ask, but I'm interested. So if you want to talk about it more, I'll read.

      Delete
    9. Sure, Medusa. Would you like to ask me questions?

      Delete
    10. Well I'll start with this. How could you tell the difference between reading minds and being crazy. Especially in light of the fact that you couldn't trust your own self. Could you, even, then? Or is this in retrospect?

      Is there an instance that happened in particular where you realized you had this skill? And what was your response, aside from having to shut it down because of your environment? What were your immediate thoughts and feelings about it?

      Delete
    11. Well, I had a very clear level of sanity when I was young. It was all about keeping my mother away from my insides(psychologically) I "knew" this as a young child and would repeat the mantra( as I grew older) "I am not like she is. She is an idiot and I am smart"
      I would push her away from me. I had a good extended family, so had love from them. I lived in the same house since I was in Kindergarten and my parents still live there, so I was close to neighbors. Without this, I would not have survived but I did have a lot of love from my grandmother who was sane, as well as other relatives who were sane.

      However, until age 14, I kept my mother away from my core of sanity. I was going to go to a boarding school at age 13. I think that if I chose to do this, I would have stayed sane, but I chickened out of going away from home.

      So, to answer your question, I trusted my reality until age 14. Then, my mother kind of entered me and I "sided" with her and wanted to be like her.

      That was the death of my sanity, which has existed until now, when I am trying to separate myself, again. You can see the monumental struggle in which I find myself.

      Delete
    12. Okay, thank you. And how about my second paragraph of questions? You don't have to answer if you think someone is going to make fun of you, but I promise that I won't. I'm most interested in your paranormal/perceptive abilities in this context right now.

      Delete
    13. Is there an instance that happened in particular where you realized you had this skill? And what was your response, aside from having to shut it down because of your environment? What were your immediate thoughts and feelings about it?


      No, I always had this skill, so didn't think anything funny about it, as one had brown hair or blue eyes. It was a part of me that I actually loved and felt warm and peaceful about( and safe, as I could protect myself, as a result of this)

      I shut everything off at 14 in the instant that the father threw me under the bus and told me that my mother was OK.
      At that instant, I went into shock and almost everything I knew as myself left.

      Delete
    14. Can you give any examples of your skills and the extent to which they go? You can answer specifically or broadly; whichever you choose.

      Delete
    15. Well, I don't get feelings ( or messages) in every day life, usually, when I am just interacting with people.
      Someone has to ask me a question about a situation and I can feel out the situation for them. I will give an example.
      Someone will ask me if this situation is good for them, whatever it may be. I will feel a darkness or a light. That part is kind of easy. I am a medical intuitive, too.

      I guess, my gift got started again, a few years ago, when I realized I could feel out if an illness was serious or not, by the light and darkness. Then, I tried to see if I could extend it to other areas of life and I could.

      Delete
    16. In addition to the light and the dark, I will get "messages" for them about their situation. I am a channel for these messages, basically. My role is to open up that channel. Then, the messages for the person, flow in. They will, often, be very specific about the person of whom they are inquiring or the situation.
      If I don't get a message, I say so and say that I cannot help them. This happens in 5% of the cases.

      Delete
    17. I'm always asking people to repeat what they just said, but a good portion of the time, after they repeat it, I realize I heard them right the first time.

      Happens to me all the time. You don't hear them, and then a couple of seconds later you know what they said without them having to repeat it.

      I ask for repetition too, sometimes. It feels like when I am reading and my mind drifts and I have to go back to the beginning of the line. I know I read it, but for that while, nothing is being absorbed. SOmetimes when I meet someone new and I want to hear every bit of what they are saying, I concentrate too hard and I lose them. I think it is ADD.

      And I think when I see a new person I am gathering and studying their tone, body language, a bunch of different stuff. WHat they're saying interests me far less than how they say it, where their focus is, what part of me they look at when they speak to me, what distracts them, etc. I'm studying them. I know I am. I am not sure if it is a thing I cultivated. I think it is ADD related anyway. And I do think it interferes with immediate empathy. i am on the outside of the conversation.

      Delete
    18. Thank you Monica, that all makes sense to me.

      Do you see yourself as an HSP?

      Delete
    19. Medusa
      I really hate all this HSP stuff. I just want to be normal. I don't want to be a super sensitive person. I want to have a good sense of self and confidence. I want to whack people who hurt me. I want to be strong. I want to be a cool person, the way I used to be.

      Delete
    20. Don't you think, though, that if you disregard your sensitivity, you will also disregard your gifts? Perhaps that's just the price you pay; everything has it's balance.

      You can be sensitive yet have a sense of self and confidence at the same time. For you, I'd think you'd have to accept the former to order to gain the latter. Then you can be cool, for real, instead of for fake.

      Delete
    21. Well, I used to be strong in that I liked myself, so had good boundaries. If someone violated me( in little or big ways) I pushed them off( usually by a word etc)
      I was a very warm person because I was not afraid to show love, either. I liked my warmth, as my favorite thing about myself.

      I guess I knew I was OK, whether or not someone liked me. I felt an inherent sense of worth. That made me confident and cool.

      I want to get back to that. My sensitive side, I would like to have inside, but lead with my strength.

      Delete
    22. My sensitive side, I would like to have inside, but lead with my strength.

      Yes. And I'm sure that your sensitive side is part of your strength. Or could be. You know, turning weaknesses into strengths and all that.

      I guess it just comes down to finding the proper balance of healthy self-protection, without needing to either overcompensate, or going the other way and exposing wounds to scavengers.

      Delete
    23. Monica, you seem to dwell a lot in retrospect, when you were a different person. Can you really say you were different then, or that you merely hadn't been called to rise? Name a situation where you handled something better and stronger then than you would now.

      Delete
    24. Kany
      I loved myself. I thought I was a cool person. I was warm, but had good boundaries. I did not eat myself up alive with my mother's voice telling me I was bad, all the time.

      Delete
    25. Monica, I'm not sure you know that everyone feels this way about themselves as a youth. Or most. Dope fiends do not grow up thinking they're going to be losers. It happens to them because their values and beliefs are shaped through their life that they take that path. You can't say they were better in their youth. They weren't because that isn't what they grew up to be. I'd like to think the same toward my childhood. I used to be more focused. More interested. I was better then. But I wasn't. I just wasn't exposed to the things that would bring out where I am worse.

      Delete
    26. I don't know what you mean, Kany. Please, explain. You can insult me if you want, in the process of explaining. Don't mince your words ~

      Delete
    27. I mean when you were young, you merely had a temperament. You hadn'tyet learned how to react or what decisions to make to things, so its easy to say you were better. You hadn't made any choices yet. But the choices we make shape us. Our value systems and our beliefs are choices, and you had none of those when you were young. Nor were the decisions you made tested. So its easy to say you were better, when really you were just still blank.

      Delete
    28. Kany
      You don't understand this. Perhaps, you never went through it. I will try to explain. For me, there came a time when I became a blank. It was not a growing pain but a throwing away of myself.Perhaps, it was a last ditch effort before insanity. Whatever it was, it was not a normal rite of passage to adulthood. It was a major break in me.

      Hence, the demarcation between that time and this is different than what you understand, Friend.

      Delete
  3. If you ever had trouble hearing me in a crowd, M.E., it'd probably be my fault anyway. You can hear my voice 1 on 1 just fine and it doesn't sound like I have a quiet voice, but if you add lots of background volume, the more there is the less you're able to hear me, I guess. I notice that in crowds or in buildings with a lot of people (clubs), it's not that I'm speaking too softly... It's more like someone turned the volume dial on my voice. The last time I went to a club, I was screaming near my friends' ears and they couldn't hear me, so I just started using my hands and body to communicate half the time. Imagine watching a video involving someone screaming and turning the volume down on your computer. If you're close enough to hear, you know it's someone screaming at a loud volume, it's just turned down.

    I could hear other people just fine and my friends could hear them just fine. They didn't even have to shout.

    I don't know what it is about my voice but it's kind of frustrating. It feels like being in a sound proof room. Sometimes I figure out how to make my voice carry over the other noise.

    Tag Y (Wicked Lovely)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No matter how loud or how hard I scream, if I don't do whatever I've done to make my voice "stronger", they still won't be able to hear me. If someone were to cut everyone else's noise out, I'd probably sound like some kind of banshee... very loud

      Tag Y

      Delete
    2. First you say it's your fault, but then two sentences later you say it's really the world out to get you and only you:

      it's not that I'm speaking too softly... It's more like someone turned the volume dial on my voice

      If people aren't hearing you, it's one out of three possibilities:

      1. Yes, you are speaking too softly.

      2. People have chosen to tune you out.

      But you nailed yourself perfectly here:

      The last time I went to a club, I was screaming near my friends' ears and they couldn't hear me, so I just started using my hands and body to communicate half the time. Imagine watching a video involving someone screaming and turning the volume down on your computer.

      This is how you come across here. Lots of arm flailing, desperate to be heard to the point of turning into a attention vampire with an extra chromosome. Like a child trying to be heard by a neglectful parent, you'll say anything just in the hope to be heard; the content doesn't seem to matter to you.

      Delete
    3. Medusa, what is your problem? You just don't like me, and yeah this is a personal attack, whether you use names or not. I never said the world was out to get me. It was an example of how to describe it. I don't actually think someone is turning the dial on me. It's not that it's too SOFT. I know it lies within my voice though. You just don't get it. My friends weren't trying to tune me out, they were attempting to hear me but couldn't. When I did that thing where I make my voice stronger, they could hear me, but it's tiring. I don't "say anything to be heard", not sure what you're talking about. You used my simple story about my voice as a means to attack me and bring up shit that has nothing to do with it, like how you think I'm an attention whore. I don't ask for the attention I get. They choose to give me it. Just like you're going out of your way now. I definitely don't need to flail for attention here, people come up to me even when I'm not speaking to them.

      Please fuck off Medusa. I've just about had it with you.

      Tag Y.

      Delete
    4. she does it to everyone. She calls everyone an attention whore. It's her go-to compulsion. You have to skip over that part of your interaction with her.

      Delete
    5. "Like a child trying to be heard by a neglectful parent, you'll say anything just in the hope to be heard.."
      Correct me if I'm wrong: I find it absurdly ironic that you allude to this situation in an attempt to put someone else down.
      I mean, could it be more blatant?

      Delete
    6. You are being a little too sensitive

      Delete
  4. Could it be partly that more raw data of the sound is being accessed by the conscious rather than processed data? most people's minds have no problem filtering out the background and e.g. hearing their name being called. aspies and perhaps some PDs seem to get the raw data. as well as some aural filtering issues i am certainly more consciously aware of body language than most and am a better proofreader.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I can identify with this too.
    I sustained some hearing loss in childhood. Nothing too dramatic, but I do have the same trouble as you. Strange thing is, my ears are particularly sensitive to pitch. If someone sings badly, or has a high voice, it's like nails on a chalkboard to me. Highly unpleasant. Pretty much the reason my musical taste is not quite as varied as it probably should be.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is completely off topic but just came across to this blog after reading about Lance Armstrong's acting during the years. I would love to read your diagnosis on him.

    ReplyDelete
  7. ManipulatorAugust 30, 2012 11:07 AM

    PCL-R is useless cuz its not objective. Its not science if you can't repeat it. Words have different meaning to different people. You can easier fool a psychologist if he is just using a check list. Science needs to be about something more objective than just words and interpretation. That is why a brain scan is the only way to test for psychopathy. In the future all mental disorders will be tested by MRI scans. Eventually psychology will just be a subset of anatomy. Without Sigmund Freud (con artiest) psychology would have never developed into something different from anatomy. ASPD is different from psychopathy. Sociopathy is the same as psychopathy, just a different key word so people can sell more books. Anyone with a criminal record can be diagnosed with ASPD. ASPD is a politically generated disorder since most laws today are not in accordance with natural law and natural rights.

    ReplyDelete
  8. is mike from breaking bad a sociopath?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You retard I already answered that question. How rude of you to dismiss it. Are you gonna try it in the forum now?

      Delete
    2. MONICA IS A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH!!!!!

      Delete
    3. No, he isn't. He's just a guy who went through a lot of bullshit.

      On the other hand I'd say Walter Junior (the handicapped kid) is a sociopath, a high functionning one for sure. He spent all his time hiding his real self behind a handicapped self, behind weird gestures and weird facial expressions. Nobody would suspect him to be dangerous, genius this kid is. But of course, his mask slips from time to time, getting angry at very little reasons and calling his mother a bitch, his father a pussy for having cancer, his uncle a pussy for staying at a hospital bed after getting majorly injured. This kid has no empathy, he uses his sick dad to get an awesome car, uses his false handicap to drive with both feet. You should keep an eye on him.

      Your turn to answer my question, why do you want to know if a tv character's a sociopath or not?

      Delete
    4. Tag Y started to comment and Vegitopath stopped... just saying.

      Delete
    5. Right on the money, Extremity! Now that's some true insight right there. I never would have thought of that.

      Delete
    6. Anon 10:54

      Calm down, Eden. Go take your meds.

      Delete
    7. That's not insight! People call easy observations insight here or keen observations. This time, it's just two letters- No. First of all, all Vegitopath does is spam. They don't comment anything else. From what I saw, they stopped before I even commented. It's not like we're both commenting non stop for you to see any pattern.
      Second of all, Vegitopath was here before me.

      Tag Y

      Delete
    8. POLYGAMIST VEGITOPATH MADLY IN LOVE WITH UKANAugust 31, 2012 at 5:16 PM

      TEEEEHEEEEEEE, MEE WOZ HEER BEEFORE YOU

      SO GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT WEAK SHIT FUCKBAG





      TEEHEEEEEEEE















































      BYE DA WAY, TEEHEEEE, DIDZHAWQ BREENG THE PWEENUPTEEALS OUT YET TEEHEEEEEEE, HEE PWOMEESED HEE WOOLD BREENG THEM TOODAY TEEEHEE









































      BUT MEE FIND NOOTHING IN MALBOX THEEX MORNEENG TEEHEE
































      TEEHEE

      Delete
  9. i have a question
    in trades for kids that are psychopathic not looking ppl in the eye is seposed to be a traid (not sure if it 's realy scientific)
    i often don't look ppl in the eye if i'm not intrested
    but then i keep looking ppl in the eye untill they react
    what are your thoughts on that

    ReplyDelete
  10. I have no idea how I came upon this blog but I'm glad I did. I like how everyone has questions about who's who and what's what. I won't be adding anything to it except to say that I like this blog and will be stopping by from time to time, as I'm currently conducting my own projects to control myself

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SW Welcoming CommitteeAugust 31, 2012 at 1:33 PM

      Welcome Roger Dodger

      Delete
    2. Controlling oneself... what is your take on freedom Roger?

      Delete
    3. If I had a choice, I would rather be normal. Someone on this comment section said it best: Sociopathy is an illness... it's like you're walking dead... but I notice in our society that a sociopath is almost glorified, like a vampire or something... it's kind of sick. Nevertheless I like to learn more about myself so I continue my research.

      Delete
  11. WHAT SOMEIMES SCARES ME WITH THIS BLOG, IS.
    You are making sociopaths look appealing.
    When are you going to accept it as an ilness?
    Because, even if you have these privileges, it is yet a negative and destructive state. But you are too mentally blind to see it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Many do see it here... some have no problem with destruction. It is a part of life.

      Delete
    2. SW Welcoming CommitteeAugust 31, 2012 at 5:08 PM

      Ken
      There is a lot of diversity of thought, here. Stick around and don't make rash judgements.

      Delete
    3. Diversity of people too, don't assume everyone is being destroyed by themselves here. You have stuff to learn.

      Delete
  12. POLYGAMIST VEGITOPATH MADLY IN LOVE WITH UKANAugust 31, 2012 at 5:06 PM

    IS MIEK FROOM BR8KEENG BADDDD A SOCIOPAF TEEHEEE

    ReplyDelete
  13. POLYGAMIST VEGITOPATH MADLY IN LOVE WITH UKANAugust 31, 2012 at 5:08 PM

    EES MEIK FROOM BR8KEENG BAD A SOCIOPAF TEEHEE

    ReplyDelete
  14. Replies
    1. Theme Song for SW Welcoming Committee

      Delete
    2. MONOGAMOUSE VEGITOPATH MADLY IN LOVE WITH UKANAugust 31, 2012 at 5:20 PM

      TEEHEE , WHOOT'S MYE THEEM SONG TEEHEEE

      Delete
  15. MONOGAMOUS VEGITOPATH MADLY IN LOVE WITH UKANAugust 31, 2012 at 5:22 PM

    BEETUR YEET, WHOOT'S DA THEEM SONG FOR MEE AND UKAN WEDDEENG TEEHEE

    ReplyDelete
  16. This vegitopath is making me look bad. They posted after me on purpose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MONOGAMOUS VEGITOPATH MADLY IN LOVE WITH UKANAugust 31, 2012 at 9:39 PM

      TEEEHEEEEE, WEN DID MEE POST AFTUR YUUU TEEHEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEEE WHICH ANON R YUU TEEHEEEEEEEE





























































      TEEHEEE

      Delete
  17. I just feaking cut the head off of the snake. I don't care if I lose my position.I did it. I cut the head off all the way!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have worked really hard to be in a position I am in but I threw it all away, maybe, to cut off the head of the Mal Narc. I will let you know what happens.

      Delete
    2. Why do you talk about people in such generalizations? Like titles, or images?

      Delete
    3. I have worked really hard to be respected in an organization of which this Mal Narc is a part. She has been trying to undermine me for 3 years. Then, she threatened me, but the head of the group would not do anything, so I finally took it into my own hands and exposed her. You know how a Mal narc never wants to be exposed. The head was angry at me because he did not want trouble but I don't have to be threatened by a Mal narc. If I lose my position, so be it.
      I exposed her, publicly which the the kiss of death to the perfect mask of the Mal Narc, so now I will see what the head does. I won't know until a few days, I guess.

      Delete
    4. So what is she besides a mal narc? A boss, coworker, employee? The lady down the hall?

      Delete
    5. Why do you talk about people in such generalizations?

      I agree with this, because it disregards to complexity of being a human and turns the subject into an object, merely a word.

      We all do it, though. You know, 'shaman' and 'socio' and stuff like that. It's kind of hard not to without naming names.

      But I thought you were a fan of sorting people by labels? Have you changed your perspective?

      Delete
    6. Monica, I'm glad you stood up for yourself. I'm just afraid this will backfire and not have the result you were hoping for. If she's a narcissist, she might flail a bit for a while, but they have a tendency to rise back to where they were like a phoenix, whilst boomeranging your claw hammer back to your own head. Exposing people feels good, but I wonder if perhaps there is a better way. I've been thinking about this myself with regards to my friend. Would it be selfish or selfless to warn her boyfriend? What is the real goal here?

      Delete
    7. I have some questions for you too, Monica, when you are finished answering the ones before mine. Why are you always complaining about these "Mal Narc" women? Do you find that you only have these troubles with women? Do you think you might have issues with women in general?

      Delete
    8. Also, Monica, there's the question of how you exposing the woman effects the other people that work there. For instance, you said the head of the group was upset by it. The head may be a coward, or not want the liability of confrontation with with the woman in question, but is it enough to warrant effecting the head's position or the organization or the other people. Some of those people may need to job (or whatever it is) way more than you do.

      Just throwing stuff out there. I don't have the answer. It's a tough balance.

      Delete
    9. MONOGAMOUS VEGITOPATH MADLY IN LOVE WITH UKANAugust 31, 2012 at 10:15 PM

      TEEEEEHEEEEE, MONEECA SED SHEE BEE A MAAAALLLL NARC TEEEEHEEEE, PURHAPS INSTEEED OF EXPOSEENG HER DIRECTLEE, MONEECA COOLD FIND A COVEART WAY OF DOEENG SO; OON AN INTURPERSONAL LEVAL, SETTEENG DA NARC UP SOOO DAT HEERRR ANTAGONEESTIC BEEHAVIOR EES ON DEESPLAY TOO PEEPLE AROOND HER. MONEECA'S COWORKURS WOOLD BEE LIKELY TOO BEE REEVULSED BY BEEHAVIUR OOF DA MAL NARC IN QUESTEEON, PURHAPS EEVEN TAEK ACTSHION AGEENST DA NARC BYE SPEEKING UP. EEF SO, DA NARC EES LIKELY TOO BACK DOWN, EEF ANEETHING, DA NARC EES LIEKLY TOO FEEL ASHAMED, THEN MONEECA WIL TRUULY BEE CUTTEENG HAED OFF DA SNAEK. DA NARC BEEING UN NARC IS SENSEETIVE TOO CREETEECISM, THEREFORE, CREETECISM + DISCREET EXPOSURE = A MAL NARC TAMED. EET EES AN ATTACK ON DA NARC'S CHAWEECTER THAT, IN SAID SITUASHION, IS JOOSTIFIED. MEE SUGGEST MONEECA FIND WAY TO EXPOSE MAL NARC INDIRECTLY: COLD WAR, NOOT SCORCHED EARTH, DAT SHOOLD BEE MONEECA'S TACTIC IN FUTURE NARC ENCOUNTERS.....














      TEEEHEEEEEE































































      UND UKAN, MEE STILL WAN MARRY YUU, NEXT WEEKK GOOD? TEEHEEEEEE

      Delete
    10. I think its important with Monica because she does it with everyone she refers to. I love labels. But she uses it as you say to objectify. To separate. And most importantly to release herself of any guilt or emotional attachment and responsibility. I think its important or her to recover for her to reattach herself to the things she's distancing herself from, and I think initially that can start with her diction.

      Delete
    11. Whoa, check it out, Vegitopath has some brains.

      I'd say that's good advice. Either that, or just don't let her effect you at all, but that takes some thick ass skin.

      Delete
    12. If the head was displeased, could it be that you're the problem? If he sides with this woman, did you just make yourself up to be a crazy delusional mal contented employee?

      Delete
    13. ...or have become the problem by creating drama.

      Delete
    14. Which I think most of us here are guilty of in some sense or another. Especially when trying to deal with psychological growing pains, people can do some unreasonable things. But you learn from it.

      Delete
    15. This guy does not want drama BUT I don not deserve to have a Mal Narc on my ass and take it over and over. I took my stand, but he can't see she is a Mal Narc and thinks I am being paranoid. I am glad I took it because SHE knows I will expose her if she messes with me, again. She knows I know who she is. So, I made the stand. I wish he could have supported me , but he would rather throw me under the bus, so as not to go against her, as she is nice to him. The Mal Marc does not show her face to everyone.
      At any rate, I was willing to take whatever fall out happened, when I took the stand.
      It will probably blow over, but he blames me, as she is hidden to all but the few people she attacks.

      Delete
    16. End of the story, the head was like Switzerland. He stood in the middle, but did not throw me under the bus.

      Delete
    17. Next week is great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Delete
  18. VEGITOPATH MADLY IN LOVE WITH UKANAugust 31, 2012 at 10:26 PM

    CON'T

    PLOOS, BY BREEENGING OUT CHAWEECTER FLAWS OF DA NARC, MONEECA EES THEN ABEL TO CONTWAST THEM BY ACTEENG EVEN MOER SOO OF THE EXACT OPPOSEET: WHEAR DA NARC EES COLD AND SELFEESH, MONEECA EES EMPATHETEEC AND CONSIDERATE. WHERE NARC EES MASKEENG TO HIDE INNER SELF, MONEECA SHOOLD BE OPEN AND SINCEER. ETC. ETC. IN OTHUR WORDS, THEES WAY, MONEECA AN BREENG OUT BEST IN HEERSELF AND WORST IN DA NARC, AND WEELL COOM OUT LOOKEENG MOER RATIONAL AND REESONABLE THAN NARC, WHO AT THEES POINT WILL BEE FLAILING TRYEENG DESPURATELEE TO PEECE THEIR BROKEN SELF-EEMAGE BACK TOGETHEER. DA NARC WEEL COME OUT LOOKING LIEK A SORE LOOSER, HAVING LOOST RESPECT FROM COWORKERS, TEEHEE, MAL NARC WEELL GIVE UP AND MOOVE ON.


    THEES EES CONSIDEERING THE MAL NARC IN QUESTION EES NOOT A TWUE PSYCHOPATH. IF DA MAL NARC IS INDEED A PSYCHOPATH, THEENGS ARE MUCH MOER TWICKY, AS HER COWURKER'S OPEENIONS WEELL NOT MATTER SO MUCH, THEREFOER, CANNOT BE SHAMED OUT OF ATTACKING MONEECA. IF DA PSYCHOPATH MAL NARC HAS NO REESON TO CONTINUE TO ATTACK MONEECA SO BWASHLY, SHE WEEL MOVE ON. BUT IF SHEE DOOS HAVE REESON TO.... BE PWEEPARED FOR AN ALL-OUT FIGHT BEECOOZ WHEEN YUU FIGHT WEETH UN PSYCHOPATH, IT'S REELLY ALL OOR NOOTHING

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's even better advice. Assuming this woman really is a Mal Narc, that is. But, you know, either way, with this last bit of advice it doesn't really matter if she is or not, so it seems pretty fail-safe. If she's not a Mal Narc, no harm done, and no shame brought upon Monica. Because you are just being a nice person to everyone, Mal Narc included.

      Delete
    2. VEGITOPATH MADLY IN LOVE WITH UKANAugust 31, 2012 at 10:44 PM

      ONLY PROBLEM WEETH THIS IS, EEF MONICA ISN'T CAREFUL TO CONCEAL HER ACTIONS FROM SAID AGRESSOR, SAID AGGRESSOR COULD HOLD A GRUDGE AND IT COULD COME BACK TO BITE MONICA IN THE ASS. BUT I GUESS IT'S A RISK MONICA HAS TO TAKE IF SHE WANTS TO AVOID BEING UNDERCUT BY HER COWORKER, OR AT LEAST BEE RELIEVED OF THE EMOTIONAL BURDEN OF HAVING TO DEAL WITH HER COWORKER'S HAZING ROMP

      Delete
    3. Hmm... who are you vegitopath?

      Tag Y

      Delete
  19. VEGITOPATH MADLY IN LOVEAugust 31, 2012 at 10:35 PM

    BOOT OF COORSE, IT SEEMS MONEECA ALWAYS HOOS SOOM STOWY TOO TELL OF SUCH UND SUCH A PURSON TWYING TO ANTAGONIZE HER..... FOORST, HER MUTHER, THEN A DISGWUNTLED EX, ETC. ETC. THEN THEES NEW SCUFFLE WEET A COWURKER. MONEECA SED HER PWOBLEM BEEFORE WAS NOT BEEING ABLE TOO SEE, ACCEPT AND FAEC EEVIL. EES IT PURHAPS SHEEM, EEN LIGHT OF HEER NEW REVELATION, BEECOOM SOOME NEW AGE ZEALOT, LIEK SOOM VIGEELANTE WHO IS NOW OVER EEAGER TO CONFRONT 'EVIL' WHEREVUR SHEE SEES IT, WHETHER REEL OR PERCEEVED? BECOZ EET EES PWETTY EESY TOO BEELEEVE PEEPLE ARE ANTAGONIZING YUU IF YUU ARE ACTIVELY LOOKEENG TOO START SOMETHEENG. IF YUU BELEEVE THA SOMEWOON EES ANTAGONIZEENG YUU, THEN EET BEECOOMS A SELF-FULFILEENG PWOPHECY: THEAY WEEL ANTAGONIZE YUU

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NOOT TRYING TOO MARGINALIZE MONICA'S COMPLAINT, BUT, JUST ONE OF MANY POSSIBILITIES CONSIDERING HER SCENARIO

      Delete
    2. lol that was awesome

      Delete
    3. That sounds like a quote, Vegitopath.

      Tag Y

      Delete
    4. Sometimes, there is actually a boogey man, Veggie

      Delete
    5. Yeah, I'm pretty sure the boyfriend would write off any sort of head's up, at least at first. But at least it would be circling in the back of his mind from time to time.

      No one wants to believe the charming sweet one is a piece of toxic shit.

      Delete
    6. YEP, this Mal Narc is as Eddie Haskell as they come.

      Delete
  20. Thank you M.E. for posting these experiences. It's nice to know I'm not the only one out there.

    ReplyDelete

Comments on posts over 14 days are SPAM filtered and may not show up right away or at all.

Join Amazon Prime - Watch Over 40,000 Movies

.

Comments are unmoderated. Blog owner is not responsible for third party content. By leaving comments on the blog, commenters give license to the blog owner to reprint attributed comments in any form.