Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Our sociopath gets interviewed (part I)

As I mentioned previously, I get a lot of flack from attributing every aspect of my personality to my disorder (and i mostly do think that it is a disorder, as much as i would love to believe otherwise). I've tried to do better at just presenting who I am, leaving it open to interpretation exactly what about my descriptions should be taken to represent me personally and what can be abstracted to apply to sociopaths in general. In answering the following questions from a reader, then, I do not claim to speak for all sociopaths, but instead express what I have personally experienced and observed:

Question 1: I have two sociopath friends who frequently engage me in power struggles. What surprises me in both of them is, even though they are pattern-breakers, they have a pretty obvious attack pattern which becomes very predictable after the 3rd-4th attack. You just have to wait a while and pretend to become a victim, pretend to lose until it is revealed. What do you think about this pattern? Are sociopaths able to surprise other people but not prone to surprise themselves? Do they believe that they have consistent behaviour? Would breaking their pattern disturb them in any way?

Answer: Interesting observation, and congratulations for performing so well against sociopaths. I think that we in the sociopath community would like to think that all sociopaths are clever and good at what they do, but the truth is that many of them are stupid, and those are the types who usually end up in prison for taking unnecessary risks. It's true that sociopaths think differently from empaths; this can give them the advantage of surprise in a fight, particularly if their identity as a sociopath is unknown. Despite their reputation as being outside-the-box thinkers, however, sociopaths don't seem to be particularly adaptable. Their general strategy is to focus most of their efforts on attack, little on defense. That mixed with a tendency for overconfidence can leave them vulnerable to surprise attacks, particularly by clever defensive players like yourself. I have been duped before in a manner similar to what you describe (victim pretending to be weak until my guard is down, then asserting dominance), and it was very disturbing. I myself have used shamefully simple tactics on other sociopaths I know, like flattery, so you would think i should know better. (By the way, flattery works shockingly well on sociopaths.) But in general, sociopaths seem to not realize that their own tricks can be used against them. Like the two con men in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels falling into the trap of their "victim," sociopaths can get so caught up in the hunt that they forget they can also be hunted.

Question 2: You don't feel much, but what makes you feel? Does losing a game make you feel, or the death of someone, or a kiss?

Answer: Feeling emotions = loss of power/control, so I try to be very judicious about how and when I feel emotions. Interestingly, I think that to compensate for the lack of feeling, I have super sensitivity to sensory stimulation. Music, good food, beauty--simple things can lead to debilitating waves of pleasure, even shivers of ecstasy. In terms of emotion, there are certain emotions that I feel very well, and others not so much. Instead of frustration, I usually feel anger; instead of love, gratitude; instead of happiness, pleasure or satisfaction; instead of remorse or guilt, regret; instead of sorrow, disappointment. I have a different (more limited) emotional palette than most people, particularly those of my same socioeconomic and cultural background. In terms of what makes me feel, I get angry when a friend cries because I have hurt them. I feel grateful when I hear my mother's voice. I feel pleasure when I am kissed, satisfaction when I have played a game well, regret and disappointment when I have played a game poorly or have betrayed myself. When I lose someone, I feel their lack in same proportion to how I felt their presence before.

89 comments:

  1. This is very interesting. My sociopath ex often left herself wide open. During a visit she parked in my driveway. She was ostensibly removing an expensive horse I'd bought her. She said she was taking it back to her new place to look after; in reality she was selling it. While she was off wandering about I looked in her unlocked car. Unsurprisingly I found a number of my belongings. I quickly removed them. She'd strenuosly denied taking them. I often chuckle when I imagine her rage on finding them missing.

    Dude

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  2. Interesting, indeed. Do you think most sociopaths (who are usually highly perceptive) can easily perceive other sociopaths in a group of strangers? Do you think they'd catch on faster, or be just as misled, as all the others? Also, what about animals? Do any of you have pets that you really care about. I find this a fascinating subject. Most of us can not help who we are, we are all individually wired.

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    1. i actually seek out fellow sociopaths to partner up with,and i do find it easy to recognize them.i do have a dog that i care about,but can also turn against coldly if it upsets me.and sometimes i find myself waiting for it to pass on,so i wont have to care for it anymore.sometimes i get angry at it for holding me back from going away,because i have no one to watch it.sometimes i think im confused to whether i do care for it or just think hes cute or like that they are soft and furry.and yes we can be mislead,especially by flattery,we can be distracted

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  3. A sociopathic friend of mine, who doesn't acknowledge herself as sociopathic but does acknowledge her sociopathic traits, spoke of her love for her dog, which she nursed through cancer till death. She cannot speak about the dog without choking up to this day (it dies several years ago) but has absolutely no emotional response to human suffering of any kind. She also hates men,

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    1. sometimes we mimic what a normal persons emotions should be like in certain situations,like a funeral,we will choke up or appear upset,when in fact we dont really care,but we do it to fit in or appear "normal".as for the love of the dog,it could be mimic,or anger over the death.she could just be bipolar,or jaded.if she was sociopathic,she wouldnt still be upset about it

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    2. Why is it always the funeral. The code of harry, spock, I don't cry at funerals, murderous urges, no emotions, risk/reward assessments. Please someone give me some originality.

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    3. I have been watching the Olympics and when I show the right emotions, with the right timing, to my satisfaction I feel like I'm at the Olympics, I've done my routine better than anyone else and I stuck the landing like a missile. It's great. I get pleasure from fitting in. Not because I've conformed but because of the performance. The glorious performance. Honestly I'm a terrible actor though. Not very bright either. I mean to take acting classes in the near future to make my emotions more easily recognizable. It's all in the eyes.

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    4. You are really interesting, Caesar.

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    5. What did I do wrong that Monica likes me??

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    6. Eff you, Caesar. I can't swear because Gungy said I was not a real Christian ~

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    7. When can we get into the details of your molestation monica? You've been here a while and I think you're ready to open up.

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    8. Lol. Caesar, that you know Monica's judge of character I still have hopes for you.

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    9. And Monica, take it personally if you want, but you only ever like delusional narcissists... period.

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    10. I enjoyed it a great deal. I would think of you, fucking me sometimes, but she'd ruin it by stopping it, as she had stopping powers. You would've done it better, as you do not have stopping power.

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    11. I like narcs and you like psychopaths. So, is there an effing one up for you ~

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    12. LOL "Monica" 1:24 Eden
      You are never far away :sigh:

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    13. Or am I Extremity?

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    14. I stopped reading the comments for a day or so and had absolutely no urge to do harm to Monica.

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    15. Raven and Extremity is the same person. Eden, you forget you are dealing with a highly intelligent population~

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    16. lol, highly intelligent (not implying it's low but I don't assume).
      Maybe she really liked the dog's company (sad for -herself-, not that the dog can't live anymore) or is faking it.

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  4. Is your anger when you hurt your friend because you wish you hurt your friend more intensely, or is your anger because you know you cannot use that person anymore?

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    1. That's dumb. You're dumb. You are not a sociopath and more importantly your perception and critical thinking is lacking.

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    2. What a good thought, little caesar. I am so thrilled my 20-year old Internet therapist says I'm no sociopath. I will celebrate my dumb lack of critical thinking by skating through life without popping pyschoactive pills to give me the perception of an assassinated dick-taster.

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    3. WTF? You know the perception's of assassinated dick-taster's, sweet heart? I find it hard to fathom any other perception than my own, but I do think I would want to imagine someone else's perception other than an assassinated dick-taster :o)

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    4. You are sweetcheeks. She has that same whining annoying vibe as you ~

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    5. Caesar was a dicktaster for life.

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    6. And don't forget it faggot.

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    7. I am not going to change my name to brutus or anything, but I have no problem skullfucking you ugly ass ssri zombie. A skullfuck is not a buttfuck, but yeah I am a fag. I am whatever you want me to be so long as I can use my dick to fuck strange pussy. It would be worth it to me to skullfuck you, to show you that powerless and worthless are the best fitting words to describe people like you. Slut.

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    8. just ignore them.. I don't know how that question implies you aren't a sociopath, the only other option or reason to be angry I can think of isn't exactly one saying "sociopath!" anyway.

      I assumed that he would be angry because it's an unenjoyable experience instead of an enjoyable one with company, they're upset at you, or too busy crying and you can't really have fun that way anymore. I didn't think about the other possibility (but hey he never mentioned that it was a friend he uses so :p)

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  5. Angry, Happy, Horny, Excited. That's my emotional palette.

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    1. Team USA = socio gangAugust 1, 2012 at 1:06 AM

      Star girl on the usa gymnastics team asked if she felt pressure to perform. She said she never thinks of competing as pressure or anxiety-provoking. She perceives it all as "excitement".

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    2. do you ever feel sad ukan?

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    3. @Team USA: I was watching her too and she rang my bells. She wasn't perfect but she didn't get hung up on that fact for even a second. She was stellar. I wish more people could function on such a level.

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    4. I don't get sad I get angry.

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    5. Ukan
      Thanks for your honesty. I do have a question for you; I had an ex that would kill the joy that his family was experiencing if it was not about him or for some reason he wasn't acknowledged. What say you?

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    6. Sounds like typical narcissist behaviour. They are so fucking boring.

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    7. ^What am I saying - he would suck the joy out of us even if he was acknowledged.

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    8. UKan
      I agree. Thanks......

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  6. Sometimes I feel an amorous rush within my chest, untraceable. As if astrally pining for something I have yet to encounter. It’s probably something really simple, like hope or something. Yet it feels fresh and strange.

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  7. Beautiful writing ME. I feel it in my chest.

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  8. Lol. Me said sociopaths don't typically think their tricks can be turned on them, or that they are impervious to them. I remember at first being so surprised my husband was so susceptible to flattery from certain people... including mine. Though it has to be a degree of genuine. He doesn't take typical compliments. They have to understand what he's doing. He's told stories here about it, too. Like a girl who bought him a drink for putting people together, or situations where someone sees his game.

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  9. growning up with a sociopath really helps

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  10. There is homeostasis in the body. If one takes in too much of one substance, the body will respond by excreting a balancing substance. We don't say that the body was a "jerk" because it made an alkaline environment more acidic. It is an automatic process, built it, amoral.

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    1. When the personality distorts to accomodate to a hostile environment, the process is amoral, as well. The homeostasis of the body is analogous to the homeostasis of the mind/personality.

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    2. The person born with a PD is rare. This does not include them, although they are not hopeless. They just did a different approach.

      For most of the people with PDs, the cause was environmental.

      This brings us to how to heal it. Talk therapy where you sip coffee and discuss yourself with the detachment of a college professor won't work.

      Unless you are writhing on the floor like a snake, you are kidding yourself. Keep your money. I know people will jump all over this, but if you are honest, your "help" has only been pushing around ideas in your mind like a child pushing around food on his plate.

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    3. Yet again, why the useless posts? Yes welll done, you've recited some higher biology/chemistry and twisted it, but to what end I have no idea. The use of amoral is out of place here. Yeah sure, body process is outwith morality, but you would never describe something like that with"amoral". That's like saying this piece of pocket fluff is amoral, or the way a river makes it's way to the sea and erodes the inner edges of the bank, is amoral. Get my point?

      Try posting something relevant, at least then you'd be on par with the trolling/ridiculous comments made here....

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    4. Also, why are you giving advice on how to "heal" people on this forum. What is wrong with this disorder? It pissesme off that the majority of people view variances of the mind as wrong/evil and must be changed. Their is rarely attempts to understand, let alone to accept and embrace the individual for who they are -_-

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    5. Why are you so hostile? In words, not you are an ass.

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    6. Manipulator
      There are some people who want to modify/change their PD and some like you, who don't.However, not everyone is like you. Ever hear of diversity ~

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    7. To use the word heal has the connotation that the personality is malignant. Which it is, but not to the person with the personality. So really you assume your view is more important than the host's. Are you sure you're not a narcissist? If your name was How to Change a PD I think you would be met with much more cold, indifference than you're getting. That's your goal, right? For no one to give a shit?

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    8. No, I have a clear goal. It is to heal my PD. SW allows one to explore things like this and no one kisses your butt and tells you you are wonderful ~

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    9. ah.. the whole getting offended at the healing thing. some people do have some difficulties with PDs, including this one, and it's not about not liking people who are "different". you don't see weirdness listed as a personality disorder although some people rejected it. if that was a goal that would be on there, along with a bunch of "abnormal" things on the symptom list.

      why WOULD people embrace difficulties, whether it causes problems for the person or everyone else? come on xD just get over it. no one is saying you are drooling in a wheelchair or dysfunctional.
      this is all about people's wounded egos.

      The personality disorder is antisocial personality disorder, and not everyone with an ASPD is a psychopath and there are plenty sufferers or people who end up hurting themselves on it. The whining is so annoying. They look as good as anyone else with a disorder claiming "ooh its just differences, embracee ittt".

      Even someone (who is a psychopath) that doesn't do anything to anyone (therefore doesn't suffer the consequences of it), has no impulses, etc, and doesn't have the whole decreased fear issues is still missing some things others have/can do, and some just simply want to experience what they're missing. There's nothing wrong with being honest with yourself.

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  11. How many people here are actually sociopaths? I think the bulk of the people reading are some sort of wanna-be's who look at sociopathy as some sort of super power.

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    1. That's kind of a difficult question. Sociopath is just a label to put a name to a person with a particular worldview and requisite actions that are informed by that worldview. Anyone can be a sociopath if they are malignantly narcissistic, compartmentalize things well and have a low sense of self which informs their ability to take on the proper persona to get what they want with the least resistance. Beyond that sociopath is a useless label. Now if the question is how many people here are psychopaths then I think maybe only Ukan can legitmately claim that label, save for perhaps a random anon or lurker who has yet to take on a name.

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    2. Psychopathy is a syndrome not a personal philosophy. I've influenced a lot of people in my life to join in my shenanigans, but they didn't become psychopaths. I just made what we were doing sound like it made sense to them.

      I actually agree with frequent. The bulk of the people reading this site has always been people who think psychopathy is some super power. In reality it's a wrecking ball shattering everything around you. Intelligence doesn't automatically come with psychopathy and even with it you are fighting yourself. One little whim will send everything you've built into chaos, because that's where you are comfortable. There's a weak stopping mechanism between rational and reckless.

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    3. Frequent: Maybe about......three? Four?

      UKan, on point.....again

      Piles (to lazy to sign in)

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    4. If the psychopaths on this site ever outnumber the Dexters, I'll eat my hat.

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    5. and even with it you are fighting yourself>>

      Yuup. Nature of the beast.

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  12. like you maybe?

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  13. "Sociopath community", hahaha, what a contradictio in terminis. Btw why would someone trying to appear weak work on me, I'll use that weakness or mistrust it. I don't loose my sharp eye when I'm on the hunt, and I constantly watch my back and make sure I'm four steps ahead. And should someone succeed to fuck me over my revenge will cost him countless times anything he won, because my narcissistic traits makes that my revenge is without bounderies.

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    1. Physically StrongAugust 1, 2012 at 8:55 AM

      I doubt it. I'd beat you and you wouldn't do anything about it because I'm physically stronger than you.

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    2. Tell me Ortho, let me pick your brain. What are your go to retaliations when you have to threaten with physicality? I ask because I'm not very creative. This woman got between me and something I wanted so I grabbed her by the head (palm in front of her face) and moved her aside, then I gave her the socio eye and told her to never do that again. He husband was not happy and tried to fight me.

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    5. @Physically Strong
      Assuming hypothetically that you would be superior in physical strength and you could beat me up and win 'a' fight.

      So you think that would be it? That would be the end and you would have won? That in the event I would notice I couldn't win in a physical fight (assuming that I wouldn't have noticed that a priori and still engage in one) I wouldn't resort to other means to get back to you (physical or not).

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    6. You're assuming I'd let you know I'd beat you or engage in a fair fight? I fight dirty, you'd think I'm your best friend and I'd punch you in the face when you least expected it. You wouldn't get back at me because you wouldn't have the guts to do it and I don't have anything to lose, it'd be even more funny to see you try.

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    7. I'm not interested in friends nor do I have any, so it would be kind of hard to become 'my best friend'. I only give some people the privilege to entertain me for a short period of time, or walk beside me as some frivolous accessory to externalize my superiority.

      If you truely have 'nothing' to lose, than you're right I couldn't get back at you. But then only if you truely mean it in a way as Hamlet himself said it.

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    8. I feel like I missed something valuable in Ortho's comment.

      He tried to fight me. I went spongy and small and swiped at him like a cornered cat. I was not physically fit at the time.

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    9. To the physically strongmen and those arrogant enough to believe there isn't always someone better lurking about in the shadows; you wouldn't see someone like me coming. I'd be your friend. I might have even done something unscrupulous with you to gain your respect and trust. I would drug you. I would abduct you. I would terrorize you. I would let you go when your senses were lost. And you would be too stupid to even know it was me, Sugar-britches ;op

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    11. Oh, I didn't forget wise sage, Ortho; I am simply not one of those.

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    13. You're funny Lil Boo. There's even some truth there in your frivolous writing when you make an allusion to hubris. But you forget one type (if there's such thing as a 'type') of psychopath;

      It's the intellectual one, the 'truely nihilistic', most of the time calm and calculated but raging at times, the truely unscrupulous that doesn't hate but only feels contempt, and doesn't need to convince himself that almost everybody but himself are less than ants crawling the face of the earth, because it feels that way in some sort of obvious, 'natural' way.

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  14. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNfrYRW-ZFM&feature=fvst

    Theme for Lil Boo

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    1. How do you stick a song in when you have a Blogger Account? I don't think you can.

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  15. sociopaths aren't interested in hardcore individualism, it's counter-intuitive to their demand for power and lust to influence others


    Who wrote this?

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  16. www.sociopath-community.com

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