Thursday, December 29, 2011

Interpersonal


A reader describes a sociopath she dated, who has since become somewhat of a friend:
[On his sleeping around]: It’s like I have an internal conflict going on, I suppose it’s to do with society and how we are brought up to expect people to behave etc. Society tells me that relationships are supposed to be monogamous, open and honest. But I know in reality that is not how it works, I myself cheated on my long term boyfriend, 5 times in fact, and it was never anything to do with him, I really did love him, had I thought he would find out and get hurt I would never have done it, but I knew he wouldn’t and it was fun so I did it.  And so I have a conflict between what I think I am supposed to expect from him, what he delivers, and what I find I am able to accept in reality.
I accept it because I have done it and I’m not a sociopath, so I am in no position to tell him off for doing the same when he is ‘programmed’ to do so. I have also always known what he is like and allow him back in my life on that basis, I cannot therefore start complaining later on down the line. And at the end of the day I just like him being about, so I balance it and have the occasional spat at him. It will run its course. 
For some reason I do believe that he considers me a friend, I cannot see any other reason for him being around, but I also accept that I may be wrong. Maybe he is using me for something, but I cannot think what. I feel that I use him too, I think we all use each other to a certain extent, we spend time with people because it suits us to do so, they entertain us, listen to us, give us comfort etc. I like having him around, he makes me laugh, we get on well together, I know sociopaths tailor themselves to suit who they are with, but again I feel people do that in general, I do not have the same conversations with my father that I have with my friends, again I am different at work. I accept that it is his nature.
Oh it’s all just so frustrating. But it does interest me so much, I’d hate to lose him from my life, though I accept that may well happen one day if/when he gets bored.
I guess I want to know if he does consider me a friend, I don’t expect it to be unconditional, but that he sticks around because he likes to spend time with me.
Is there any chance of him ever opening up to me? I just feel it would make some conversations so much easier, but obviously it is not my place to ‘out’ him, I would never do that.
How do I make him realise that I have no intention of turning my back on him? Like I say, I need to lessen my dependence, but I don’t know how to do it without making him feel like I'm pushing him away.
Any advice would be most gratefully received, I’d also love to hear any observation you have on the situation, feel free to call me a dopey empath!

M.E.: I don't know if he'll ever open up to you.  He is probably so used to relying on his insight that if his instinct is to never tell you the whole truth, he will not second guess that.  (And honestly, I would trust his judgment of what you can handle more than yours, of course no offense intended).

In terms of what he gets out of your relationship, it seem to be companionship and an alleviation of boredom.  I think that sociopaths don't feel lonely so much as get scared that they'll be alone and not by choice, if that makes sense.  They're just worried in general about things that they can't control, and one of those things (at least to a certain extent) are interpersonal relationships.

If you really want to lessen your own reliance on him without tipping him off or hurting his ego, I would suggest acquiring more activities/things/projects/people that will just naturally push him more out of the picture.  As you get busier with your new life and new found interests, he'll look for another, less sucked-dry target.




214 comments:

  1. I don't consider myself bi but if I had to make out with a guy to get what I wanted it would be no problem.

    If you cannot identify with this you're prolly not a socio.

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  2. Michael Martin PlunkettDecember 29, 2011 at 1:10 AM

    i figured out the way to beat the personality disorder test the 1st time i tried i messed it up because i answered the 1st thing that popped in my head but it was the wrong thing to do because i scored too high on antisocial histrionics and narcissism

    the 2nd time i answered all questions very inaccurate and got low scores but it looked fake everything 10%

    the 3rd time i answered some questions very inaccurate some questions inaccurate some in the middle got a score that looks like normal person has variation try it ur selves all ur personality issues and problems will go away simple solution

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  3. It's funny how women with intimacy issues always want to get you to open up.

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  4. Michael Martin PlunkettDecember 29, 2011 at 2:28 AM

    i am here to help every 1 with their issues because i am genuinely interested in helping people thats why im gonna be a doctor or a nurse today is davids turn i have a solution ready i have had a serious thought about it in expense of my own free time free of charge

    fact: david wants people here to say hes sociopathic

    problem: nothing he ever says here will make people say it

    solution: next time ya have a customer kill him gut him like a fish take the guts out and make a video put it in youtube be sure everyones watching be quick because they will remove the video fast they dont appreciate snuff in youtube

    i cant guarantee it will make people say ur sociopathic they might just say ur a crazy fuck but at least ya can prove that much

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  5. Women always want to know about the wizard of oz until the spell is broken and they realize that there is a man there, just not the one who mesmerized them with show and flash.

    I remember experimenting during my earlier relationships. Whatever that passion was I saw on shows, or with the couples and their PDAs, I didn't have it naturally, even horny as I was, a youth ready.

    So like the big bad wolf I psyched myself up to feign passion, and it worked so well it had a very intoxicating effect on my lovers, sometimes to a profound, almost scared degree. Not 'rape-y' scared, just, 'I didn't realize I was fucking someone possessed by a sex demon', scared.

    Faking emotions is fantastic when you're used to it. It's not on a 1-10 gauge like most people have, easily predictable. I can crank that shit to 11+, just because I damn well please.

    I don't follow the credo to play the cool and collected cat at all times. I like injecting a bit more human into my characters, a bit more humanity, and a bit more devil. When you transition from a calm state to an incited monster of whichever emotion you're fiddling with, the shock is that much more effective to those expecting your usual calm self.

    I love that shit to death.

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  6. @Ralph

    Your get-up yesterday worried me until I saw the full ensemble. Very post-youth chic.

    I'm not sure what race you are, or what type of hair you have, but several different hats/eyewear would work well with it too if you don a shaved or short-haired head.

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  7. Also, a silver time piece would be a nice accessory to contrast with the rest of the tones of the get-up, so long as you have a decent (looking) one. Gold would blend in too much.

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  8. Bella/lots of gorgeous women of swDecember 29, 2011 at 5:39 AM

    Men always want to know about the mysterious dark/light playful, inciteful,woman-child with wisdom, elegance, Mary Tyler Moore/Elaine Benice, you can take her anywhere she'll adapt to any situation you throw at her, she laughs at herself, everyone likes her type in you in until the spell is broken and they realize that there is a simple human there, just not the one who mesmerized them with show and flash.

    I remember not being aware during my earlier relationships. Whatever that passion was I clearly had inately, or with the couples and their PDAs, I had it naturally, horny and gorgeous, a pristine she-wolf I was, a youth ready.

    So like the passionate vixen/innocent I psyched myself up for passion, and it worked so well it had a very intoxicating effect on my lovers, sometimes to a profound, almost scared degree. Not 'rape-y' scared, just, 'I didn't realize I was fucking someone so je ne cest quois scared sex demom' sacred.

    Faking emotions is fantastic when you're used to seeing them react to every change, their eyes darting around trying to catch up with you--it's so exciting blah blah blah to it. It's on a 1-10 gauge like most independent bipolar/beeper types hiding, not easily predictable. I can crank that shit to 11+, just because I damn well please.

    I don't follow the credo to play the cool and collected cat at all times. I like injecting a bit more human into my characters, a bit more humanity, and a bit more devil. When you transition from a calm state to an incited goddess of whichever emotion you're finding naturally with, the shock is that much more effective to those expecting your semi-centered (? ::laughs:: )who knows self.

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  9. Bella/gorgeous women of swDecember 29, 2011 at 5:41 AM

    Oh We love that shit to death

    ::laughs::, tilde, really? me?

    ::laughs;:

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  10. Yeah, but we're tired of the silly men and women for that matter expecting it from you year in/year out.

    ::laughs;: ::sighs:: We're simply exhausted.

    We've lived and learned to wield our power almost at will, turning it on to only a selective few.

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  11. Gonna get some sex from a hot beeper.

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  12. oooh I like it when you play hard to get.

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  13. they're all teases here. May I suggest murder and rape?

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  14. I dont know what drives a sociopath to open up, my guess it never happens.
    I remember something my mother told when i was very young, my mother who is a very empathic and caring person telling me that even if i killed someone that they (my parents) would be there to help me, i enjoy my family very much and i feel comfortable around them but i would never bring up the subject.
    If it was a random stanger i was sure i would never see again, i would only do it to see his happy face turn scared and shocked

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  15. You know I'm going to make you mine.

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  16. oooh i like it when you play hard to get.

    (Lies the psycho/socio)

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  17. 6:19
    you fascinate me.

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  18. fuckin perverts here. This site is a bunch of fakers. and You think narc-ing your way through life is the way to go, huh?

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  19. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lupNzpcpDRk

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  20. You know, a long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody's crazy.

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  21. When you have a history of abuse you become the secret.
    There's no revealing your true self.

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  22. " a less sucked dry target"

    What does ME mean by this, exactly? Does he mean that the guy has already used up this girl, to some degree, so she is less valuable, in the manner of a new toy versus an older one. However, it seemed as if there was value in the fact that she WAS an older one. In that way, she was a comfort zone.

    I am still waiting for MK to analyze my PD test i.e rip me a new one

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  23. a less tired out target. And people don't want to hear they're a source for alleviating boredom. They want to hear you can't live without them. I don't like to use the word "toy". It implies that what I value is frivolous.

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  24. mirroring myself. christ.

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  25. @ Ukan

    Opening up to another IS intimacy. Why is that a symptom of a woman with issues? Unless your saying that the desire for intimacy is itself the issue.

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  26. Hi J :)

    I think UKan maybe means that she obviously has intimacy issues since she cheated on a former bf and totally rationalized it and is now rationalizing being involved with a socio. Someone who cannot really love her back. Intimacy issues.

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  27. As for less tired out target, she was suggesting she make herself uberbusy. The socio will get bored with someone who has little free time to hang (if they are the kind that globs onto just one, ME is assuming that, but there are plenty who enjoy spending a little time with one then a little time with another and a lot of time doing god knows what). Also the socio wont want a toy whose batteries as totally wound down at the end of the day. Too tired for sex games? No one wants a fuck doll thats gonna just lay there. Ok, well, maybe Bundy or Dahmer, but most folks arent into necrophilia.

    For the reader, just remember, the less interest you show, the more fun you are. If you really want to push him away just keep pushing for intimacy. Keep asking "what are you thinking?". If you want fun, just act somewhat disinterested or suggest that you might want to stop seeing each other. You will get some red hot loving, I tell ya! You dont have to worry about hurting his feelings or having him think you dont care. Either you are a functioning toy or not. Its pretty simple.

    Dont overthink it. Just be a fun toy. Try to keep your humanness for yourself and your friends. But good for you hooking up with a socio. Stick with socios until you're ready for a responsibile relationship where you dont fuck around behind their back. Might wanna read The Ethical Slut.

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  28. @6:22 I like you to but you have too get in line behind my bunny.

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  30. Shut up Maxwell/Aspie/Abigal

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  31. David,

    Firstly, duh. There is no way of gauging if anyone is accurately representing themselves in any way. And of course electronic communication allows for a slight dissociative effect. Ive seen it on facebook, even. Its why internet dating is so lame.

    Second, where the fuck did that come from? How is it relevant in any way to the topic at hand? Have you been stewing since yesterday? I forgot, did you have a high OCD score?

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  32. David states the obvious, "you cant see the unseen anonymous".
    Thing is david you have doubts.

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  33. “It's funny how women with intimacy issues always want to get you to open up.”

    “Women always want to know about the wizard of oz until the spell is broken and they realize that there is a man there, just not the one who mesmerized them with show and flash.”

    Alright both of you. I prefer the fantasy. Men are men just like anyone else. Human. And humans always let you down. There’s no magical fairy tale prince underneath the charming façade. The longer I can hold onto the initial fantasy, the more likely it is that once I finally see the person beneath, it will no longer matter. If I can idealize someone for long enough, I can love them forever, even after they’ve proven themselves to be beyond flawed and dysfunctional. Keep me occupied in the now, and I can forgive or forget anything that has come before me.

    Frankly, most men, and women, aren’t that difficult to read. I’m more concerned with whether or not they can handle my issues, than whether I’ll be able to handle theirs. If can deal with my shit, I can deal with yours. And even if yours is worse, it’ll at least distract me from mine. Selfish. Sure. But I am, and I’m ok with that.

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  34. Anon... what did I tell you about the bunny? I hope you like coney.

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  35. keep chasing the white rabbit

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  36. @Haven

    Are shy guys attractive ? Do you find the shy ones mysterious. A good looking shy boy is very alluring, no?

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  37. Good Evening Ladies and TNP.









    wv:furt

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  38. Oh, and i don't mean the classic shy good boy.

    I mean the one that you think is shy, but turns out to be extremely arrogant and narcissistic, when they get comfortable with you :)

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  39. @Carie... Sorry Carie, but no. I don't find them mysterious, I find them quiet, and often incapable of holding conversations or looking me in the eye. I can't stand shy or quiet guys. I don't chase boys, boys chase me. If you're shy, not just aloof and reserved, there's absolutely no way I am going to perceive you as having a strong enough personality to deal with me. And what it all boils down to, is his interest in me. If I don't see it, then he can't even get my attention.

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  40. @Carie... ok well that's a different scenerio altoghether. I've never met a shy narc. I don't think shy and narc actually belong in the same sentence. They may be diametrically opposed.

    I don't mind a mind of arrogance. Self-confidence is good. Most people with a very healthy self-confidence are not shy though. Aloof. Reserved. Sure. But not shy.

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  42. Yes, i think i meant to say reserved :)

    In the novel, American psycho. Patrick is described by some, including his secretary, as boyishly shy and mysterious. He's very boring and has almost no personality.

    Are sociopaths the reserved boy next door type? I don't think the socio is the classic loud mouth, but they are vastly more narcissistic that the loud mouth, inside.

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  43. Or maybe they interpret Patrick's lack of intimacy as shyness? The only way Patrick can relate to a woman is to dominate them. When it comes to real intimacy, he freezes. Could she have interpreted this has shyness?

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  44. I haven't seen American Psycho in so long I barely remember it at all.

    I can see freezing in the face of intimacy interpretted as being shy. When you don't open up about yourself and lack the social skills to redirect the conversation to a safer topic of discussion than it gives the appearance of being closed off. Being quiet on top of it furthers this perception.

    Genuine shyness is determined by an overall demeanor though. You can be quiet, and reserved, and not be shy. I have been mistaken for shy because of this, but as soon as someone makes any effort to engage me the misconception quickly melts away. Being shy takes a lack of social awareness and confidence in the self. These things will remain after you attempt to talk to someone that is actually shy.

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  45. I think there is an arrogance to some quiet men, because they refuse to socialize.

    Sort of like a snobbish muscled up guy at a club that just stands there looking down on people, without speaking. And he occasionally stares at himself in the mirror. I think that's the stance sociopaths have.

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  46. Yeah I don't think anything about that scene could be interpretted as shyness. He exudes confidence and arrogance all the time. These are not shy qualities.

    Quiet and shy are not the same things. I agree, quiet men can have an arrogance to them. But you'll rarely find a shyness with them as well.

    ::laughs:: your snobbish club guy isn't shy either. He's just an arrogant jerk. Just because he doesn't talk to you doens't mean he's shy.

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  47. "Sort of like a snobbish muscled up guy at a club that just stands there looking down on people, without speaking. And he occasionally stares at himself in the mirror"

    UKan?

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  49. This is what i mean. I think socios have a very hard time accepting intimacy. Socios really dislike all of the sloppy affection stuff.

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  50. If sociopaths have a fluid self, anything that put demands on it, would be avoided like the plague. For the strongest of people, intimacy is still terrifying.

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  52. Haven, i disagree. I really do think some genuinely shy men can be narcissists.

    When my little sister brought her bodybuilder boyfriend to our home, he barely spoke one word and he would sweat heavily. Imo he was so fearful of any sort of criticism. Therefore, he would not open up. I didn't know him on a personal level, as he wasn't very outgoing, or friendly, but my sister said he had all traits of NPD. She said he hated our family, because HE was shy around them (why didn't they make him feel welcome etc) LOL? I asked about his background and she said he was a skinny kid that never had a date in highschool. He joined a gym, but became extremely envious of the big guys there. He took roids and soon after that, women would flock to him. He adored the attention. It ended after he cheated on her, so she left.

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  53. Last time i seen him, he made a very derogatory remark to me. In his sick head i was smearing him. If people were not 100% on his side, then they were an enemy.

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  56. @DS01

    If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck..

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  57. @DS01

    This is because women who have been victimized by a socio, or narc really are magnets to those types. It's similar to how sociopaths fall into relationships with weak willed women.

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  58. I like the shy guys wrapped tight in their social masks. I like to find out they're shy. But maybe it's because I know myself in certain situations and I know which cues signal to back off. I don't like pressuring for intimacy because that's just fucking rude if you ask me. I only recently found out I'm pretty shy. Introvert? I've always thought I was outgoing. It's an inaccurate assumption I've made about myself for years because I've cultivated my balls.

    I have man balls. They shrink and enlarge. I love to watch them turn and turn.

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  59. "The sex was great but there was too much intimacy, I felt very uncomfortable"

    I understand this. I wrote something a while back on the threat of intimacy. It's not comfortable. I like getting to know people, who they are, what they like, but it's usually because it helps me figure out how to meet my own needs. I don't like sharing too much about myself though, unless of course, there's some purpose that works to my advantage. It's funny, I really am not afraid of sharing things about myself. I just don't want to feel like someone has too much on me when I don't know much about them. I've been known to be entirely closed off, but when I need to change a situation to my benefit I'll drop information about myself that gains me sympathy or whatever it is I need. I don't think that's intimacy though. Intimacy is more than just sharing memories.

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  60. "Don't you think that some of you, and especially the women, start to see people with personal disorders everywhere?

    This blog is the first time I talk/write about this stuff. For now this is fun, but all the PD stuff shouldn't get an obsession.

    I can imagine that especially women that were betrayed by some socio/narc ... start to see people with personal disorders everywhere, to the point of frenzy. "

    That seems to be the case with a lot of the women here. Sometimes I think they're just jaded. They're like moths that have had their little wings burned once so now they see fire in everything. And yet, they're continually drawn to the same flame. It's kind of pathetic.

    You attract what you desire I guess. Which is probably why I have a tendency towards
    [emotionally} unavailable men. At least there's no risk of intimacy there.

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  61. What are these women missing, the ones that attract abusers? Was it because their parents never gave them a sense that they were special, or unique? What sort of childhood creates these self sacrificing co dependents? Do they look for a father in the socio/narc?

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  63. David your world sounds rather limited. What would happen if you ever got sick of men? Talk to a dog?

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  64. @ David LOL

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  65. The difference between the normal abuser and a sociopath, is usually the woman is aware that the normal abuser is flawed and essentially an asshole, even before the relationship began. When she meets the sociopath abuser, he seems well adjusted (too good to be true)He will create an image of the greatest, most normal person alive.

    He will feign compassion as she tells him about the previous abuser, and as he tells her it will be okay and hugs her, he is probably thinking in his mind "Holy shit. This last guy was a fucking Amateur." It's all a game to the socio.

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  67. Men could wipe out the female race in a matter of days. If we decided to. Bad move, but we could.

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  68. Anonymous Anonymous said...

    The difference between the normal abuser and a sociopath, is usually the woman is aware that the normal abuser is flawed and essentially an asshole, even before the relationship began. When she meets the sociopath abuser, he seems well adjusted (too good to be true)He will create an image of the greatest, most normal person alive.

    He will feign compassion as she tells him about the previous abuser, and as he tells her it will be okay and hugs her, he is probably thinking in his mind "Holy shit. This last guy was a fucking Amateur." It's all a game to the socio.




    LMFAO So true

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  69. @David... oh I don't care at all. It doesn't affect me. I talk to so many people all of the time. You can learn the most interesting things from people. I can't imagine completely closing a door on one potential source of entertainment. Picky, sure. But not a complete shunning.

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  71. Essentially, a sociopaths grandiosity will often make them hypocrites. A violent sociopath will say such things as "They don't let me mix with the petty violent thugs" Or a wife beating sociopath may rage, because you compared his highness with what he calls "A loser wife beater"

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  73. WOMEN ARE EVIL! WE MUST SUPPRESS THESE PARASITIC VENGEFUL WHORES!

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  74. @Tik, It's nice to know that someone else actually "gets" me. Thanks for the supportive words. :)

    @Sarah: I don't know if this is proper posting etiquette but I figured I would respond to your comment in this thread, since it is the current one.

    Apparently, I have been sublimating the majority of my sociopathic tendencies into my sex life for years, albeit unconsciously. I cannot get turned on without some form of sexualized violence. I am not interested in sexual affection or intimacy; I have not had a single episode of “normal” vanilla sex in over 20 years. I actively engage in S&M that I have since discovered most people involved in the scene would call “edgeplay”. My sex life is very intense, and never boring. However, I am very affectionate with my partner outside of the bedroom: we have a wonderful relationship.

    I have been involved in an exclusive, monogamous relationship for many years with someone who shares my faith, but has a few antisocial tendencies of his own. When I discovered that I could not outsmart and manipulate this person, I realized that I had found my intellectual match and soulmate, and we married. Prior to this, I was extremely promiscuous. To answer your question, I am female. Bisexual by nature, but heterosexual by choice.

    I just researched schizotypal PD and I don't think it suits me very well, with the possible exception of my not needing a great deal of intimacy. I am very much at ease in social situations and don’t behave awkwardly at all, but I admit that I avoid these types of engagements because I find them very draining. It's tiring to always wear a mask of some sort.

    You are entitled to your views, but from what I understand, the psychological community at large does not consider spirituality to be synonymous with delusion. Besides, I am not exactly what you might call a Bible thumping fundamentalist. (“Let he who has no sin cast the first stone” resonates particularly well with me, hehe.) My faith is my own business, and I don’t attempt to push it on anyone else.

    While I think some people in my community might accept me as I am, they most assuredly would *not* get the sadomasochism, bisexual tendencies, my taste for violence, or the fact that I smoke pot to curb my anger and help me to feel stuff. I don’t think there is anything wrong with smoking pot occasionally, but a lot of Christians do, particularly because it is illegal. But I don’t feel morally compelled to obey society’s laws: I pay attention to social constructs only when they suit me- I have my own standards of right and wrong, which are based on Biblical values.

    Why would God curse me with this? I think my parents did: we all have free will, and DNA to spread around, heh. I don’t think it has much to do with God at all. I think my sociopathic tendencies are a very good example of what the Bible calls a generational curse: a genetic predisposition that has spiritual ramifications as well.

    Overcoming problematic, difficult traits are what lead to personal development and self-actualization. In this way, my sociopathic tendencies present a tremendous opportunity for blessing, if I able to manage them in a manner that is conducive to personal growth. Why would God want to rob me of an opportunity to further develop these traits by obliterating “karma” that I obviously need to work through? How would this help me?

    After all, if those aspects of my character that withered into antisocial traits had been well-tended, they might have blossomed into qualities like steadfast courage, fiercely protective loyalty, a clear-minded resolve to articulately defend strong convictions, and a willingness to stand up for countercultural truth at the risk of being unpopular. I possess these traits too. :)

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  75. "What are these women missing, the ones that attract abusers? Was it because their parents never gave them a sense that they were special, or unique? What sort of childhood creates these self sacrificing co dependents? Do they look for a father in the socio/narc?"

    Pretty fuckin interesting question these type of girls seem to like being told what to do they look at you like you are their salvation and answer to all their problems i dont know why sometimes i felt like i was playing a parental role they trust you to decide whats best for them which makes them even more easily manipulated always seeking advice for shit that doesnt even matter well they are weak so they seek strength in other people they look up to you the way feel you deserve like a god
    they all seem to have parents that give a shit about them i believe most of them come from wrecked homes

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  76. Alter, you sound aspie.

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  77. The types of girls who like sociopaths, in my humble opinion, have a hole in the soul where a self should be.





    * I include myself, naturally.

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  78. Stick Around AlteregoDecember 29, 2011 at 1:48 PM

    You rock in a major fashion :)

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  79. David if your story is true it's still pathetic. You sucked some 69 year old man's cock for several years for a salary of 140k a year basically. That's less than what I make right now and all I do is drive around and eat with people. I can't believe you keep bringing this up here to a bunch of sociopaths like that is going to impress us. I don't think even the most pathetic victim like Ami would even go so low as to subject herself to some twisted old sexual perverts lecheries for that petty amount. Then again she did let her husband molest her son.

    Seriously, there is no amount you could ever pay me to be subserviant to anybody. There is no amount you could ever pay me to service the lecheries of some sexual predator. I would rather die. Power is more important to me than wealth. You felt violated by him. You told me. That's disgusting. You should have cut his throat, david, but of course you just let him die of old age. Yet another person in life who got away with abusing you. He probably left you that money and now you are trying to tell us that you conned it from him.

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  83. David how could someone change what is made differently in the structure of their brain? If your a sociopath the structure of your brain will always stay the same.
    But you can change your behavior according to what you believe and being a Christian is your belief, no contridiction.

    Everyone has thoughts that don't manifest into actions.

    I think Alterego is beautiful and strong. God bless her for sharing.

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  84. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ah51vPzcVEM

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  86. @ alterego thank you for sharing further. I didnt say I thought you had fullblown schiotypal pd, just possibly some tendencies mixed into your apd. Yes, spirituality isnt considered dysfunctional, but I would bet a socio who genuinely believes (and is not just using religion as a con job) is a horse of a different color. Regardless, if it enriches your life and makes those around you safer, than it is a good thing.

    @ david what did you have to gain from fucking over your friend? Why did you do it?

    As for females (or males) drawn to predators, it usually has to do with what was modeled for them in childhood and the resulting patterns that develop. If there is an association between fear and arousal (which are similar autonomic responses) then it makes your average boring guy, well, boring. If all you know how to do is take abuse, and you mistake that for love, you feel like something is missing without it. Its why I am working on filling my own holes, being less "exciting" growing up whatever you call it. Changing me instead of just getting a new lover. Date one asshole, its just life. If all I have ever dated is assholes, well there's a common denominator... me.

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  89. Alterego, have you read The Shack?

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  90. Alter ego, what's your game? Sociopaths are immune to religion. They will say they are religious to get by though. Sociopaths don't have strong opinions, unless they are hate filled.

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  91. Unless the opinions are hate filled*

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  92. Jesus trumps all, whether that be being a sociopath, a psychopath or anything else.

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  95. If you've worked hard to get your children through college and gave to charity and you stopped yourself from taking advantage of people when you easily could have. Then say that you have a lack of empathy towards people. You are either deluded, or lying. Good people do good things.

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  96. How would you know how to make money david. Inheriting money for sucking some old man's cock is not a con. It's common practice. If you don't believe me look at Rupert Murdoch's wife. Do you think she is a con artist too? How about the rest of the blond bimbo trophy wives out there? Even they have more class than a prostitute though, you must admit.

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  99. Blogger davidsocio01 said...

    Give it up ukan.


    Would a gorilla give up scratching his ass?

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  100. How to identify a socioDecember 29, 2011 at 3:55 PM

    The following questionnaire is based on research and experiences of socialised psychopaths. For each trait, decide if it applies to the person you suspect may be a socialised psychopath, fully (2 points), partially (1 point) or not at all (0 points).

    1. Do they have problems sustaining stable relationships, personally and in business?
    2. Do they frequently manipulate others to achieve selfish goals, with no consideration of the effects on those manipulated?
    3. Are they cavalier about the truth, and capable of telling lies to your face?
    4. Do they have an air of self-importance, regardless of their true standing in society?
    5. Have they no apparent sense of remorse, shame or guilt?
    6. Is their charm superficial, and capable of being switched on to suit immediate ends?
    7. Are they easily bored and demand constant stimulation?
    8. Are their displays of human emotion unconvincing?
    9. Do they enjoy taking risks, and acting on reckless impulse?
    10. Are they quick to blame others for their mistakes?
    11. As teenagers, did they resent authority, play truant and/or steal?
    12. Do they have no qualms about sponging off others?
    13. Are they quick to lose their temper?
    14. Are they sexually promiscuous?
    15. Do they have a belligerent, bullying manner?
    16. Are they unrealistic about their long-term aims?
    17. Do they lack any ability to empathise with others?
    18. Would you regard them as essentially irresponsible?

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  101. David, for someone claiming to be a socio, you seem quite naive yourself. Every time you react in anyway to UKan, you give him what he wants.

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  102. @TNP Do you want to be friends? Where do you live?







    wv:furt

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  103. Ok I have to ask... what is this "wv: whateverword" that some people put at the end of their comments?

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  104. 1. Do they have problems sustaining stable relationships, personally and in business? 2
    2. Do they frequently manipulate others to achieve selfish goals, with no consideration of the effects on those manipulated? 2
    3. Are they cavalier about the truth, and capable of telling lies to your face? 2
    4. Do they have an air of self-importance, regardless of their true standing in society? 2
    5. Have they no apparent sense of remorse, shame or guilt? 2
    6. Is their charm superficial, and capable of being switched on to suit immediate ends? 2
    7. Are they easily bored and demand constant stimulation? 2
    8. Are their displays of human emotion unconvincing? 2
    9. Do they enjoy taking risks, and acting on reckless impulse? 2
    10. Are they quick to blame others for their mistakes? 2
    11. As teenagers, did they resent authority, play truant and/or steal? 1
    12. Do they have no qualms about sponging off others? 2
    13. Are they quick to lose their temper? 2
    14. Are they sexually promiscuous? 1
    15. Do they have a belligerent, bullying manner? 2
    16. Are they unrealistic about their long-term aims? 2
    17. Do they lack any ability to empathise with others? 2
    18. Would you regard them as essentially irresponsible? 2

    Everyone answer. Let's see what we get?

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  105. Ok I have to ask... what is this "wv: whateverword" that some people put at the end of their comments?


    It's the captcha Word Verification that you have to type in to submit a comment.

    wv: intersh

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  106. Even the non-psychopathic answer.

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  107. A score of 25 or above suggests strong psychopathic tendencies

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  109. Whats the point in sharing word verification?

    WV: revtuoid

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  111. I get the same wv every time. People from the sky are talking to Frank.







    wv:furt

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  113. That's an impressive score David, but I beat you.

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  117. All the winners get tshirts that read "Trust me, I'm a sociopath"

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  118. lol i agree with Haven. David, your opinion on women is more a reflection of your mindset than anything else. But hey, us women don't need men who think like that. I suggest you stick with your tastes. LOL.

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  119. UKans score has an addendum CEMENT HEAD

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  120. Gnite David. Im signing off too. Going out to socialize. Giving my friend a gift card for shoes. The fastest way to a woman's heart.

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  121. Look at that subtle off-white lettering. The tasteful thickness
    of it. Oh my God, it even has a score rating...

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  122. UKans score:

    The fbi are on their way.

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  123. I'm way too high to read all this shit. Fucking space and time dis-continuum.

    Anyone have a tl;dr?

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  124. Nothing interesting has really happened today. You didn't miss anything. I wish I was high, or drunk as is my standard.

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  125. ha ha UKan's score Loses a few points for incontinence issues .The knife loosened a few bowels.

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  126. @TNP Do you have man friends?







    wv:furt

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  127. @haven

    can you give me some tips about manipulating a beeper woman? any will be appreciated!

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  128. i'm not sure if i should compliment, or insult her. she's self deprecating, this is why i doubt she'll believe my phony compliments. is it better to insult and take control of her?

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  129. If you just want sex just take control. But it has to be genuine. You cant be trembling while you play dominant. Tell her how she turns you on.

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  130. HOw to manipulate a beeper. Well. Find out everything she likes. Become an expert in all of those things. Be super cuddly. Make sure you are there for her every single second every time she needs you. Always. Tell her you love her, but not until at least he end of the first day. And go.

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  131. Socio theme song! -- People of the lie.




    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLronaf5ccc

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  132. @empaths

    just killed a dog


    umad?

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  133. @Frank What do you mean does TNP have man friends? Gary thinks you need a head transplant. Where do you live?

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  134. @Gary Frankly, Frank is just being friendly no homo




    wv;gary

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  135. Frank do you still wet the bed?

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  136. @Tik Frank does not wet bed. Frank likes urine sports he he

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  137. I can't even imagine what urine sports are, sounds creepy.

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  138. So has anything changed here since I was last here ?

    Ok.. back into the cave..

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  139. someone shud make a sw 2011 best of list for sw.

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  140. Tell her you love her and get her head over heels. Hang out with her every single minute for a week. Spend the night at her house not yours. The next week go back home and start fucking someone else so that you are genuinely not that interested. Keep in contact with her through text messages and don't answer any of hers for hours at a time so you are in control of when you dialogue.

    Slowly start to act like you are more interested the next week. When she does stuff you want her to do give her a lot of attention. When she does something you don't yell at her, damage her fragile security, and leave for the rest of the night. Always come back the next day.

    After a month start slapping her when she doesn't do what she's told. They like to get knocked around. Be very controlling and dominant. Don't let them wear all those skanky skirts that borderlines love. Dress her conservitive if you are not with her and like a slut when you are. Condition her to be a slut with you and a saint on the street (even thought they won't it's ok it gives you an excuse to punish her later).

    Don't show weakness. Don't be vulnerable. Don't let her get away with anything. They love drama. They love abuse. If you don't start off with abuse you will end with it. It's just a matter of how big she goes to get you to fuck her up.

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  141. UKan Beep, stop telling us how you treat your cock. TMI

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  142. How was I not surprised that one of the first things you decided to talk about when you come back is cock, Chosen?

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  143. how do you manipulate a female sociopath?

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  144. Hello The Chosen One Where you been, Sweet thing?

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  145. @Tik Urinating is very sexy.

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  146. how do you manipulate a female sociopath?

    You don't.

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  147. "how do you manipulate a female sociopath?

    You don't."

    why?

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  148. A sociopath will always be aware if you are trying to manipulate them.

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  149. all women can be manipulated in some way right?

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  150. Stroke her ego. Say how useless you are in comparison to her. Reinforce her arrogance.

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  151. Stroke her ego. Say how useless you are in comparison to her. Reinforce her arrogance.

    That's not going to manipulation. That is appeasement.

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  152. ukan, is it a bad idea to argue back to a sociopath when they are bullying you? if the socio bullies me, does she already know i'm weak? if i act assertive will she take me seriously? :)

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  153. You can't manipulate her. She'll know all your games. Why would she be different from the males?

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  154. @ howtoidentify.... How could one possibly put a score on their favorite socio? Would you be scoring the real person, you know the one you've never met, never seen, probably never wiil? Or do you put the number to the liar, the , the superior actor? Oops,wait, the liar, that goes under the real one.... Ohhhhh......I'm getting confused!

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  155. @Haven

    Have you ever dated another female with a PD? If so; what was it like for you?

    Hope you're having a good day! :)

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  156. LOl Ukan, you've hung around some lousy females in your life. Too freaking bad for you.

    :)

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  157. Have I ever dated another woman with a PD. Oh geezus. Yes-ish? I was involved with my best friend of a few years for a, well, a few years. She's BPD. We're no longer friends. It was a cluster fuck of tears and insanity. I loved it right up until the end until I didn't love it anymore and I was done. I never spoke to her again.

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  158. I didn't say this was a plan for all females notme, just basket cases like you.

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  159. @Haven

    How can you say best friends when you can't ever speak again? What a waste of a precious title. Would you agree?

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  160. lol. oh Mr Provocative. What exactly do you know about me? Besides I sometimes call myself BPD? You simply have no idea. It's fascinating, your stereotyping...
    Given I don't do the same to you and your ilk. LOL. I prefer to analyse people on a personal basis, not because of some label. And for your information, if a man so much as touches me in a hurtful way, I wouldn't take that shit. Good luck with your next generalised statement on 'us'.

    Like I said, You must have met some real doormats in your life. Hardly a challenge. So I get your arrogance on the matter. Though I'd assume that's just you. Arrogant. Though you are entertaining like that. Do go on.

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  161. I just told my hot beeper if she's getting all crazy I wanna play.

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  162. "I prefer to analyse people on a personal basis"

    empathy

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  163. You've been on here long enough for me to know just how crazy you are notme. I would venture to say that you are probably the loopiest borderline lass here. Sarah is a runner up. We will see. It's still early.

    I think you like being treated like rubbish. You hate being treated good. Weak men are musings at best.

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  164. @Tik: Yes, I read The Shack. I cried throughout most of it- and I am a person who was once asked by her “closest” friend: “do you *ever* cry?” (I used quotations around the word "closest" because even this person doesn't truly know me.) That book healed something very *deep* inside of me... those tears were cleansing and cathartic, particularly because I do not shed them very often. The Spirit touched me so much through this book that at times I couldn’t even stand it. God is the only one who ever breaks through and makes me FEEL so intensely. His love is just the sweetest stuff. Heh.

    @ David: I think that sociopathy exists upon a continuum. Yes, I exhibit many psychopathic tendencies. (Upon answering that questionnaire honestly, considering my past and present, I gave myself a score of 24.) Yes, my father was a psychopath. (He spent 7 years in prison for aggravated assault before I was born.) But I never actually claimed to be a sociopath. On the contrary, I stated that I am *not* one, according to the definition I have seen postulated here, because my spiritual beliefs have modified my behavior to such an extent that I no longer indulge in many of the tendencies that come naturally.

    This is indeed a form of submission to something that runs contrary to my nature. It is SELF-denial, but of the healthy kind- the kind that makes one stronger and better. But it isn't easy. To be honest, on most days, I would rather say to hell with God and do whatever I want. And on some days, I do just that.

    It’s not like I was a self-aware sociopath who decided to one day “get religion”. My experience is better described as such: “I have been a Christian for over ten years. Why do I still swear like a sailor and revel in graphically envisioning slitting someone’s throat on account of something that wouldn’t even trigger mild annoyance in most people?” :)

    When I came upon the definition for sociopathy, I considered my turbulent childhood, troubled adolescence, bad temper, general lack of empathy, poor impulse control, blunted reactions to pain and fear, inability to feel deep remorse, chronic thrill-seeking, and ability to shut off my shallow conscience like a faucet. I learned what the diagnosis of ODD given to me by my therapist at the age of 15 or 16 actually implied. In short, I discovered that the cluster of personality issues I have struggled with for the majority of my life actually has a name.

    You said you couldn’t imagine being religious. I relate to that; I don't even go to church. You asked me why I refer to the Bible in terms of defining my moral standards. One of the things I appreciate about the core message of the Bible is its inherent simplicity. Jesus gave us two commandments that don’t require us to be particularly ritualistic: love God, and love others. Fortunately for someone like me, the way the Bible defines love is much more practical than emotional: we can show love to others without actually feeling it.

    You think it is *weak* to give your life so as to save someone else's? I believe that is what Jesus did for me on the cross. In my book, that is the very definition of heroic courage.

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  165. http://www.bpdworld.org/

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  166. OMFCHRIST Alterego Shut the fuck up for the sake of baby jesus!!!!!!

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  167. "He spent 7 years in prison for aggravated assault"

    aggravated assault? seriously? you are labeling him a psychopath because he committed an aggravated assault and was caught?

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  168. btw, what would i do with a 'weak' man? Please. But there is such a thing as a happy medium, as much as i loathe that phrase. Lol.

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  169. I'm watching a movie with Liam Neason about a beeper coincidently Chloe

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  170. Alterego kinda sounds like M.E.

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  171. Oh no, I agree. Weak men are pathetic. They deserve to be trampled on. When have you ever got a happy medium though, notme. It all about extremes with you isn't it? What you want and what you obtain are two different things. Why is that?

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  172. "The most obvious symptom of NPD is massive unwarranted self importance where the sufferer believes they are a super dynamic ALL-STAR! If you don't proceed to get on your knees and kiss their feet they will do everything in their power to destroy you. If you dare to be better than them in anything they ever do they will hate you and explain that they could do better but don't want to.

    NPD suffering parents are the worst kind of controlling assholes a child can have in their lives, meaning they are all over the internets. If you fail or disappoint them (which you will) they will ridicule you and beat the shit out of you for bringing shame on them. "

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  173. "The most common cause of NPD is being an over-sensitive fuck who can't take criticism. They will then react to said criticism by accusing the big mean jerk who hurt their feelings of being a jealous fucking retard, and so you start lashing out at people at saying they have NPD. "

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  174. I adore u notme
    Ur a sweet baby girl :)

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  175. "APD is strongly associated with internet troll personality disorder and many have sought to re-name it "IRL troll personality disorder". Typical characteristics/hobbies of these up and coming psycho killers with APD include lying, cheating, stealing, violence, rape, setting shit on fire, killing animals for fun and setting animals on fire for fun.

    When the APD sufferer is done with their lulzy pastimes they will have absolutely no remorse for the fucked up shit they've done. They may pretend to care to avoid jail, but they really just don't give a shit about anyone or anything. I mean really who gives a shit what my court appointed psychologist thinks—I'll fuckin' kill the bitch!

    The general opinion is that you are just born this way; in other words, some people are just born assholes. There are other opinions out there that APD can be caused by mummy not loving her little monster enough, but if your child is an evil little shit you can kinda see what she was thinking. Another cause is the combination of intravenous crystal meth abuse and playing Grand Theft Auto Vice City for 72 hours straight."

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  176. @ Anon 8:42: No, I'm calling my father a psychopath because he spent 7 years in prison for ripping someone's ear off with his bare hands. He also gouged someone's eye out, committed armed robbery and engaged in drug trafficking, in addition to a whole host of other crimes. He simply didn't get caught for most of them.

    @ Anonymouse 8:41: I'll shut the fuck up if and when it suits me. :)

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  177. "No, I'm calling my father a psychopath because he spent 7 years in prison for ripping someone's ear off with his bare hands. He also gouged someone's eye out, committed armed robbery and engaged in drug trafficking, in addition to a whole host of other crimes. He simply didn't get caught for most of them."

    this is more like aspd, rather than psychopathy. constantly in trouble with authority etc. a psychopath is more organized than a aspd.

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  178. Yeh, extremes is what I've known and desired. Everything else is exotic to me. Lol.

    'What you want and what you obtain are two different things. Why is that?'

    lol
    dunno how to answer that. What I want, is rare, from experience I've learnt that, but it is obtainable, as I've learnt from experience. Keeping what I've obtained is down to me. And yes, I've failed at that in the past and it hurts. But that's life for some people I guess.

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  179. haha, thanks anon. :)

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  180. @ Anon 8:58: Whatever. I use the terms interchangeably since there does not appear to be a consensus even amongst psychologists. Why would you know better than them?

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  181. Hare made the differentiation. Along with others. The question is, do YOU think you know more than them?

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  182. Thanks, Haven. Got some new stuff today I wasn't acquainted with and was pretty useless for a couple hours :P

    notme! Tell your kitties to behave.

    :)

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  183. this is more like aspd, rather than psychopathy. constantly in trouble with authority etc. a psychopath is more organized than a aspd.


    Psychopaths have a high recividism rate. What you are saying is not true. A lot of people on here make psychopaths out to be super human. They are not....We just think we are.

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  184. @ Anon 9:10. No, I do not know more than them. In fact, I am fairly new to this stream of research. From what I understand, psychopathy is more innate, encompassing a greater proportion of cluster-1 traits, whereas sociopathy is purportedly more likely to arise as the result of a dysfunctional environment and/or upbringing, comprising more factor-2 traits. ASPD or APD is like a psychological dustbin which includes both disorders.

    My hunch is that societal conditioning and genetic predisposition both invariably impact the development of APD. But I have only skimmed the data... I have not yet actually read Hare's books, so my understanding of the matter remains limited by the current scope of my knowledge.

    Come to think of it, that might be *why* I have used the terms interchageably... I am not yet sufficiently educated in this domain to render a more concise judgement. Besides, I am not qualified to diagnose myself, although I can permit myself the benefit of sound introspection. You see, I rather suspect that I have both psychopathic *and* sociopathic tendencies, because in truth, I really DO think there is a lot of overlap here, particularly within the context of my own life experience.

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  185. He got npd?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GD5UbKLwgzE

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