Saturday, December 10, 2011

Guest song: MakeDamnSure

"You are everything I want, cause you are everything I'm not"
"We lie together, just not too close"
"I just want to break you down so badly, in the worst way"
"I'm gonna make damn sure you never leave; no you won't ever get too far from me"

This sorta is how I feel about women I've been in love with; I don't want to get too close to them, because I want to 'break them down so badly' Ya know? It's that feeling of control that I love.

567 comments:

  1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prrwSME_QEc

    Its not people running into traffic.

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  2. I really wish I had something eloquent or profound to say but honestly love can eat hot death right now.

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  3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLrnkK2YEcE&ob=av2e

    I love this Avalanches song. Especially when he makes the record sound like a parrot. Plus it has a crazy theme. Video is absurd.

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  4. I guess I'm the odd man out when it comes to relationships in this spectrum. Mine don't reflect classically sociopathic or narcissistic relationships. I'm not interested in dominating my partners, enslaving them, making them pets, breaking their wills, or hurting them.

    I do all that shit with other people, but not any of my lovers, regardless if I'm in love with them, or even like them.

    It's always a game for me. I try to become this perfect being. A masterfully hand-crafted, elegant solution to someone's emotional void, and my boredom. I hate to use that word, boredom. It really denigrates the actual feeling, or need, and makes it sound so dull, but it is what it is.

    Anyway, after all that, that's when I like to let the mask slip in bits and pieces, I like to hint that there's something they've missed, and if I can, I like to deny them ever seeing the full picture. The mystery infuriates them, makes them obsessed with me. I'm not just a lover anymore, I'm a puzzle box with no solution, but they don't know that, and never will.

    I've done this to friends as well.

    To be fair, there is something there that they are missing. The mystery isn't a fabrication. It's more like, I wish I could show them the contents within, but I know they wouldn't understand, could never sympathize, and most would be too scared. I fucking hate it when they try to, you know? Or say, "I'm not a judging person, it won't change anything." It's a load of shit. They just want the answer to sate their obsessive curiosity. I've shown a few people what's really there, and it ruined it. People I thought, no, thought I knew could handle it.

    The fact is, the people who can, they aren't people I want to befriend or to love. The type of person that would understand and accept me for who I am is not the kind of person you want at your six, or in your bed. There would never be a true moment at ease, or a sliver of trust. Just a constant state of waiting, for you, or them, to make the first move.

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  5. Are all sociopaths abusive?

    Thanks for answerins!

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  6. Are all sociopaths abusive?


    Are you in an abusive relationship or are you asking us permission to enter one?

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  7. Well i would give anything for the suspected sociopath who has been in my life to be open and honest with me. I would try not to judge. I could not make any promises. To me he is a unique and fascinating human being. I understand that due to issues such as trust, fear and paranoia, it will never happen. I have cried a lot of tears over this ... and not all of them for me. All wasted tears i guess.

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  8. I guess it depends what type of sociopath he is, and what kinds of hungers he has. There's nothing terribly interesting about a paranoid selfish git that doesn't like people. Too much romanticism is often dumped into something that isn't there.

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  9. The type of person that would understand and accept me for who I am is not the kind of person you want at your six, or in your bed.

    The two people who accept me and understand who I am is the guy who watches my back and my wife. One at my six and the other in my bed. Time to meet new people Not Able.

    You earn who you keep in your company. You either command respect or you command treachory. Not by good or evil deeds, but successful ones. People betray you because you are weak, not because you are devious.

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  10. I would try not to judge. I could not make any promises


    honest about what? Why would he be honest if you have such vague assurances? try? won't make promises? I wouldn't roll a dice on you if you were the last game in town. Get over it. You are too weak for him.

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  11. UKan Popup said...

    Are all sociopaths abusive?


    Are you in an abusive relationship or are you asking us permission to enter one?

    Neither, I'm just curious. Now, please answer me.

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  12. That was clever, UKan. I like it.

    But you're hardly a typical case. A wife who knowingly married a sociopath, and a bodyguard with similar mind. I mean really, if that's where you're setting the standard, I'm in no rush to meet it.

    It's got nothing to do with respect or treachery, I'm not sure where you're drawing that from. Maybe I left too many gaps to fill for you.

    I should ask you though, if your body guard really is like you, and he had a golden, encouraged opportunity to replace you, do you think he wouldn't out of loyalty? Do you really not feel like your guard doesn't need to be up around him?

    I'm not playing the "All Sociopaths are Treacherous" card, just actual curiosity. There was a time when you said you didn't know he was a sociopath. I wonder how that changed your relationship once you did.

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  13. I'll get around to it, but first I need to collect answers from all the sociopaths.

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  14. You are right, though. But I've always felt it's time to meet new people. Part of the whole, nomadic shtik.

    My last girl, I think she could have handled it. I really do. The problem was, I didn't particularly like her all that much, part of why I ended it.

    I have a feeling she would have been more interested in studying me than being with me, which made me feel strange. Not really offended, or angry, but not indifferent. Can't really explain it.

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  15. Anyone could possibly betray me. I can take that fact and be paralyzed by it or I can move forward trusting my instincts. I put him where he is because he earned my trust.


    The fact is, the people who can, they aren't people I want to befriend or to love. The type of person that would understand and accept me for who I am is not the kind of person you want at your six, or in your bed. There would never be a true moment at ease, or a sliver of trust. Just a constant state of waiting, for you, or them, to make the first move.

    This statement is about fearing betrayal. That's where I got the treachery from.

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  16. TNP, what happened to your blog? It was a really good read, I am sorry it's gone.

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  17. @UKan 4.23am "Get over it, you are to weak for him" Maybe, maybe not. I will never get the chance to find out for sure. I will say that i would never consider suicide over this person or anyone. Thanks for your advice though.

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  18. Gotcha.

    I wouldn't call it fear. Not out of pride, it just isn't. More just a sobering reality.

    I have, and do, deal with sociopathic people. The way I keep them in check is not giving them enough rope to hang me with. At least not real rope. I routinely use chaff to sniff out deception and betrayal. It's saved me a lot of headaches.

    It's the narcissistic (Pathological) ones I can't stand the most. They seem to take great joy in being rats and tattles, like they turn on you to feel better about themselves, not because there's an actual reason to. I guess it is a sort of reason, but not one I find logical in my own head. Maybe they just want approval from someone. I don't know. I won't even give them chaff, because I know I can't share anything with them. You can almost see them salivate when they see/hear dirt on you. Maybe I'm just imagining it, but I doubt it.

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  19. But you would obsess on him to the point of asking musing questions on a site about sociopaths while considering being in a relationship with him?

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  20. I've never had a problem with a sociopath. I target the weak and I assume they do the same.

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  21. Fights are so boring in real life. It's not even funny to watch a guy land 30 punches on another's face.

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  22. Due to my lifestyle, I'm used to being the "new kid on the block". That in itself is a weakness. No allies, new territory, et cetera.

    I've never had long-standing issues with them, though. As soon as they realized I wasn't worth the tangle, all was well in paradise. I've been on the opposite side of it, too.

    It doesn't change the fact that if a new weakness appeared, they wouldn't hesitate to exploit it. It doesn't mean they would, either. I'm just practical about it. I'm sure you are too.

    Narcissists though, jesus. It's as if they have an open slot for Arch Nemesis at all times, far past the point of logic. I've never been one for grudges, but my father had many that pre-dated my birth that he never let go of, to his deathbed.

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  23. Yes UKan, i believe i am obsessed with him. I am also stuck because i know the reassons why. I have a history of mental abuse form a parent. I have tried to deal with those issues, but due to other reasons my life is not the way i want it to be. What can i say, he makes me feel alive. Something you have heard before i am sure. I am damned if i do and damned if i don't.
    Like TNP said he is probably just a paranoid selfish git/asshole. I will get over it.

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  24. TNP 2:57 That is as honest as it gets

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  25. Maybe you're just an idiot trying to justify settling for less?

    I blame Twilight and Tru Blood for women's obsession with having heartless, blood thirsty lovers.

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  26. True Blood is so cheesy. I love it!

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  27. @TNP I am going to ask you some questions. I know they are intrusive and you don't have to answer, of course, but I will ask them, anyway.

    When you showed them what was "inside", was it an abyss, a hole that went to nowhere?

    What did they do after you showed them?

    You said your father was a Mal Narc. How is that different from a sociopath. Did you father have more empathy than a sociopath? Do the Mal Narc and the sociopath have the SAME level of empathy? If not, how is it different?

    Thank you

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  28. I despised that season with the lame goddess or whatever. Just an excuse to have ugly people orgies for an entire season.

    Is Anne Rice why everyone digs Southern Vampires? I never read her books. I think I saw a movie adaptation where there were some in the South, though.

    Can you imagine a Guid-bro vampire? I'd stake that motherfucker on principal. I don't even know if guido bro, guid-bro is a real term, but I'm using it. Portmanteaus, go!

    I've always had a special place in my heart for Lost Boys. Talk about cheesy.

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  29. I have Lost Boys in my movie collection.

    I can't read Anne Rice. I tried to, because my cousin was determined to get me to love her, the way he does. He also compares me to the character Claudia. I don't know if that's an insult or not; she just a child. Anyway... I couldn't manage to get past the first few chapters without nodding off.

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  30. @TNP Has anyone ever broken your heart, walked away from you, first?

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  31. My father was not a "Mal Narc". I've never said that. I don't even believe they exist. Sort of like, Bipolar aspie schizoid psychopaths.

    There's nothing empty or missing inside. That's a concept that would require me to have a frame of reference to a different state of being whole.

    Some considered me a bit of a guilty pleasure, others, well, we lost that closeness and trust that I had established with them.

    My father had no empathy, and he had to always be the center of attention or conflict. Anyone's problems were unimportant to him. He alienated himself from his entire close and extended family, and didn't even go to his parents funerals. He was a religious nut to boot, but I found out before he died that it was all superficial. He told me he had great doubts. I think he clung to his delusions until death. I invited my mother to meet him and make peace, and the son of a bitch just glared at her. Wouldn't even say anything after decades. I can't even imagine that kind of bitterness.

    He killed someone (accidentally) when he was young, and he told me that it bugged him that he didn't know why he felt nothing and indifferent, and that's how it always was when he hurt people. He wasn't sadistic. Zealous, maybe, in a very misguided way. He tried to have me arrested for petty theft once and the cops weren't willing to process me. He was so mad. What kind of father does that and acts like that?

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  32. We are all just trying to deal with the hand that life has dealt us, the best way we can. Even if that means obsessing and asking questiions on a socopath blog.

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  33. @TNP So, your father had no empathy, but you are not sure "what" he was? How many conditions have no empathy?

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  34. My father was a textbook poster boy NPD Narcissist. One of the most "pure" forms I've seen on the spectrum. I always knew he was crazy, but I didn't know what Narcissists were until about the time I came to SW.

    The worst type of Narcissist I've run into is the Fanatic Narcissist. It's a Millon Subtype. They're paranoid delusional fuck offs in every sense.

    Eden, he died of "being old" complications with his organs. Not exactly natural causes, but if what killed him didn't happen, he wouldn't have lived too much longer, maybe five or six years.

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  35. @TNP Have you ever carried a torch in your heart for a woman, like some of us do for a man?

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  36. Do you mean loved or cared about someone? I guess in my own way, I have. I'm not a compassionate person, though, and I have to train myself daily to act conscientious. I really do only think about my own needs by default.

    Maybe I just know obsession, that chemical love. I've always thought love as being this multidimensional phenomenon, a psychological cocktail with several ingredients, but even though I have some of them, I don't have what my partner seems to have for me.

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  37. My father and mother, still complain about each other. I don't understand it. They haven't seen each other since I was 7. That's 30 years of hatred.
    I've maintained civility towards every mate I've ever had. Even the worst of them. Once it's over, all problems cease to exist.

    I just can't have a relationship with my father. Not because of who he was. Because of who he still is. I don't want my children near him.

    What about your mother TNP? What kind of person is she?

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  38. My mother is crazy. But I know she loves me, and not "in her own way." She didn't even raise me, and I haven't known her most of my life, but I can see that maternal bond and protectiveness in her eyes. It's fierce... and kind of awkward. I guess it never left her after all those years. That, or she's a hell of an actress.

    My Mom's side of the family is mostly psychopaths. I only have one uncle that made it past my age without being killed, and he's an unemployed parasite to this day, sucking the teat of a sugar grandma. Drug dealers, murderers, muscle, and misfits. The only ones that didn't serve hard time died before they could. My mother wasn't the most innocent "lady" either. She ended up re-marrying an outlaw biker, and that was her "settling down". She's classy like that. But they're in love, all these years later. It's too damn cute seeing old people still in love.

    Her father was a lot like your father, Eden, except he violently raped and beat his kids and wife. There was no weirdness about him, he just used and abused them. I only remember him vaguely, but I remember him being a gaunt, scowling son of a bitch. Always scowling.

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  39. Yeah. Her father's family sounds far more violent than mine. She must have barely made it out with her life.

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  40. She never "got out", unless you count the time she ran away and married my father. After they split she moved back and never really left. She got a lot of shit for both marriages due to racial tensions, which is silly since her line are mutts that are only somewhat predominant in one direction, but hey, racism, whadya gonna do?

    I guess growing up with all that violence and volatility forced her to need something bad and exciting. My father was very kind to her (initially) but bored her to tears. He never was a very interesting guy, but effective, I'll give him that.

    Frankly, I shouldn't have lived to be this age. I should have died or went to prison when I was a teen because of where I was living and who I was with. That's what happened to all my mates from back then except one I found on facebook. He ended up getting out of the life and went to a jc, never got married, and now works at a fucking sandwich shop as "Assistant Manager". It was so depressing, I didn't bother contacting him. I spilled blood with him once. Now he spills mayo. It's hard to wrap my head around that.

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  41. @TNP You saw a mothers love in her eyes. You seem to have a soft spot for woman, in you.

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  42. Have you written about your life? You're story sounds even more exciting than mine! Would it be rude of me to say, that I get excited when I meet someone who can relate to my background? When I came to this site... I assumed I'd meet nothing but people who could relate to the life I've lived.

    I guess that was a little naive on my part.

    I actually just stumbled on this blog after I set up my own. I was just surfing the other blog accounts. I couldn't believe it at first. That someone would set up a blog of its nature. I don't know what I was expecting to find here... but it wasn't this. You know; what it is.

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  43. I usually only talk about my past when people ask, and even then I don't always humor them. I wrote a non-fiction short story a few years back under a nom de plume, but had to change a few things and names. I ended up selling it for a few hundred, but that's been my only foray into writing about my life. I'll never do memoirs, especially if I have kids. Some things are better left in the dark.

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  44. You write beautifully, TNP

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  45. I can't spare my children the knowledge of my past. Too many women in the family. Girls are more eager to know these things. My daughter first ask me about why things were, as they were, with my family when she was 8. I told her that I would explain what I thought she could handle, once I thought she was old enough.

    My little sister started trying to pick my brain around the same age. Guys are better at secret, I think.

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  46. You don't sound like you've had a boring life, and I've read some pretty boring memoirs. As long as you find a publisher confident that there's a market for it, and you keep it entertaining, you should be fine.

    One of my favorites was A Monk Swimming. Great book. Very funny.

    I've enjoyed my life for the most part, had real adventures, and lived a lot longer than I thought I would. I wouldn't feel robbed by death, just disappointed it was time to go.

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  47. what race are u tnp

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  48. "I wouldn't feel robbed by death, just disappointed it was time to go."

    I can relate. Thank you for sharing.

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  49. I have had many relationships. Few have been longterm. The reoccurring issue was my lack of emotion. They always report feeling lonely.

    I have never abused physically anyone I dated, though the arguments have left them drained and crying. It's not intentional to cause harm, it is just how I am. I do try my best to control myself, and have done well.

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  50. Total mutt. I look like I could be one of three different races, but the third is not common in America, and it would probably get passed off as one of the other two to the untrained eye.

    The hilarious thing is that I have a very ethnic name, courtesy of my father (which is dumb since he's a mutt too, and has a less ethnic name than me!), so when people hear it they usually just assume I'm the one of the three that fits my name.

    I don't really identify with my race(s) or gender, but I've taken advantage of my heritage before. I sort of had to, though.

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  51. are you dark skinned

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  52. If you ask me what I'm wearing next, this conversation is over.

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  53. @ TheChosenOne, did you have multiply relationships while you were in the long term ones?

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  54. TNP Are you typing in the nude?

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  55. @Tik

    No, but I did have sex with two others while my ex was on a long vacation.

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  56. The last committed relationship I was in; the guy was part Lebanese, and part Cuban. He was only raised by the Lebanese side (mother) and they seemed almost fanatical about being Lebanese. His whole identity was centered around it. He seemed to know little else, about who he was outside of his heritage.

    His mother convinced him I was bad for him. His family didn't like that I was white, and that I already had a child. She told him if we were to ever have children, I would make a horrible mother because I had no sense of tradition; no sense of family.

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  57. are you dark skinned tco

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  58. @The Chosen One
    You are such a tease.

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  59. @Anon.. At the moment, no. I'm white.

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  60. There's not many Paths on the blog anymore, but this is to the ones that are.

    Did anyone that you were in a relationship ever seriouly figure out that you are a sociopath and if they did how did it olay out afterward?

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  61. @Tik

    No one ever found out I had a label. But my behaviors were undesirable enough that relationships were short.

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  62. are you a cock tease eden

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  63. Nude is such a relative definition, I mean, when is one truly nude?~

    There's actually someone on a show I watch religiously that looks a lot like me, age, skin color, face and hair. He's cut like a statue of a greek god, though, even by hollywood standards. Clothed though, we could look like brothers. We're both mutts with similar ethnic backgrounds, but he has far less variation than me, and different eye color. When I first saw him, I did a double take. When he had a shirtless scene, I went, "Son of a bitch. Great, now I'm going to be the cheaper knock off of this guy in someone's fantasy."

    He's not super famous though (thankfully, hahaha)

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  64. @The Chosen One
    Do you leave a bunch of obsessed woman in the wake?

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  65. Now your a tease TNP.

    I did talk to the one I know about being a sociopath, once. I come on here to get an idea of what might go through his mind.

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  66. @TNP
    Tell us who the guy is?
    Signed
    Woman who are in to you

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  67. tnp show us some skin

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  68. I'm very curious about what Medusa looks like. She's a tease too! lol She even said she just loves to feed me little nuggets to chew on. I doubt she meant it though.

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  69. Crazy Girls For TNPDecember 10, 2011 at 9:12 AM

    TNP you got us going.

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  70. @ TheChosenOne, are your relationships on the Dom/Sub side?

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  71. When I was younger I somehow became convinced that I was a sociopath. Of course those days I didn't really understand what it even meant - it was because I didn't really experience any emotion even if a close family member died and had no real empathy for anyone. Even some of my friends endorsed this delusion because I am what a layman would think when they hear the word "psychopath" - the emotionless, expressionless robot that doesn't blink no matter what happens. Some people called me "Terminator" because of the way I dressed and acted back then.

    This delusion made me attempt to live my life the way I thought sociopaths do - on the other hand try to "fit in" the society while doing reckless stuff like drugs, drunk driving and even getting into a few brawls in my free time. Nothing very sinister or evil, just reckless stuff that most kids in their teens and early twenties do I guess. Some of that stuff got me in trouble but in hindsight I don't regret any of it. It made me both achieve and experience things that I wouldn't have otherwise.

    Later when I realized that the more proper label for me was the "Schizoid" I was amazed how easily I fell into this category and mutated into the schizoid poster boy in very short time. Just felt natural. But the downside is I'm not really developing or moving anywhere anymore. In a way it's okay, because there's really nothing I want to accomplish or achieve anymore, but some days I wonder if I will regret it in my old days - to let my life slip away the way I'm doing now.

    Point being that sometimes it can be beneficial for a person to hold on to their delusions, and on the other hand labels can become self-fulfilling prophesies and arrest your development if you read too much into it. I guess in some level I'm not as happy or content with my life as I've made myself believe.

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  72. You're going to have to buy me dinner first.

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  73. I am single, and do have a few FWB.

    It's not really about the sex. But I do seem to attract subs.

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  74. TNP, you don't sound anything like a spath. You have empathy.

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  75. @Nothing Man
    I can relate to what you are saying. Thank you for saying it. I could not put it in to words. My external life has been very different than yours. I was a goody two shoes person who tried to be perfect, but my soul feels yours.

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  76. "He told me he had great doubts. I think he clung to his delusions until death. I invited my mother to meet him and make peace, and the son of a bitch just glared at her. Wouldn't even say anything after decades. I can't even imagine that kind of bitterness."

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  77. tnp ass play yes or no

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  78. What the fuck is up with the whole "spath" thing, lately?

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  79. I love FWBs, and not just for the sex either. I just thrive better in casual, actual friend with actual benefit styles of relationships. Being a "couple" has always seemed like a union of two people, and that's frankly never going to happen. I can fake it, but that bond is never real, there's no true sharing of self.

    I like to think of FWBs that are not just "fuck buddies" as Special Friends. I dunno, seems extra naughty, for reasons I can't explain.

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  80. @The Chosen One
    If it is not about the sex, what is it about?

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  81. TNP is deep,the spath is shallow..

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  82. Do you make them submissive if their not initially?

    How easily do you take on the Dom role/

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  83. i like special friends

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  84. "TNP is deep,the spath is shallow.."

    Heh, going all Confucius on me now, are you? God, spare me before the haiku. That's some proto-hipster shit that I refuse to entertain.

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  85. @ Monica

    I do like the fucking, but I these fwb always come to my place. I'm a bit antisocial. At times it's almost a free delivery service, and I get to wet my tool.

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  86. Seriously TNP. You seem like the deepest person I've come across, even compared to the empath.It's a good thing :)

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  87. @Caroline

    No problem. Perhaps it would do good for me if I was sacked from the job to force me out of my lazy ass and back in the game. I don't think I can find motivation to change anything in my life unless some external factor forces me to. It's just too easy to do what schizoids do - in other words nothing at all.

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  88. I have tried to sub twice. It was interesting seeing the girl think she had control.

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  89. Not true Anon 9:24, maturity is different for each. Depends on where they've been and where they want to go.

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  90. "Seriously TNP. You seem like the deepest person I've come across, even compared to the empath.It's a good thing :)"

    I am? You should share me with your suburban high school friends sometime. Maybe we can get together and speak about existentialism and Nietzsche, maybe even some marxism while we sip wine and smoke cloves.

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  91. TNP,i was just wondering why you don't domineer your partner.. this is empathy you display :)

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  92. total domination is delicious

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  93. Hi Monica, are you the same Monica from Psychopathicwritings ? if so I believe we crossed "paths" so to speak ;)

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  94. Man you people have a broad definition of what empathy is.

    On the subject of FWB: That's pretty much the story of my love life. Once those "special" friends find themselves real partners... I just stay single till I make some new friends! Or till the old ones break up with their significants. Which ever comes first. I do prefer to stick with the old ones though. Believe it or not, I like the familiar.

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  95. @The Chosen One
    No, I do not go on any other blogs.

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  96. You're starting to remind me of that creepy guy with the cult-like empathy video ME posted a while ago.

    I'm picturing you as a gaunt 50 something year old paedo, and it's totally your fault.

    Now, I do establish myself as the dominant one, but do not actively dominate or seek to humiliate them. I really need to respect my partner, or I lose interest immediately. They have to be smart, self-reliant, and willful. That unfortunately eliminates most of the single pool.

    Worst case scenario, I mold them into something I want if I see the potential.

    It's not like I've never fucked with or abused my partners. It's just that it's not my MO, or interest. I don't go out of my way to make their life hell, on a whim.

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  97. @Eden, very truthful.

    I date many women in your position. Seems the benefits are mutual. A space filler perhaps ?

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  98. eden stop trying to look like your not disgusting

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  99. This blog window doesn't refrseh on its own does it ?

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  100. TNP, why do you think you are the spath then? I mean with your mindset, you could never fit Hare's checklist?

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  101. People do want to see your dark side, no doubt. I have a special friend who wanted me to go further with my rant on my disenchantment with people, the world, men who hate women, people who want to take advantage of you and not give back, blah blah blah.. I was on a rant. He LOVED it. I felt that's nice. I wonder though when/if he will be the subject of my rant. I wait for it, but I can't be bothered being fearful of it. His ex is a nutjob who makes his life miserable. If I am a walk in the park for him, great.

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  102. I like to act like a sub once in a while for kicks, play the innocent boyish card. They think it's too cute and that I'm the sweetest most naive guy they've dated, and playfully try to corrupt me. It's fucking hilarious. I can't really play that anymore though, I'm too old for it.

    You actually find out a lot more about the worst side of a person when you play a sub, because their abusive and domineering side will come out, it's simple human nature when there's a power balancing act. The guilt trips I've put them through when their ugly side comes out were glorious. It's a special brand of self-loathing.

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  103. The question isn't whether or not I'm a sociopath, the question is why do you not want to acknowledge the fact that I could be one?

    Or was that too deep for you?~

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  104. Are a woman, TNP, or do you just play one on SW?

    ReplyDelete
  105. My most successful social mask is very draining. Which is why for the most part I have become more introverted and antisocial. I have other valid excuses for family for being more withdrawn.

    ReplyDelete
  106. bella that is sweet finding people who love crazy and rantings is hard

    ReplyDelete
  107. This is my question which has still not be answered. I get closer to my sociopath g/f, every day. She wants to show me her face, as I want to show her mine.

    My question is "Is the sociopath different in degree or kind?"

    ReplyDelete
  108. Stop thinking of her as an it, you idiot. You want to bond? Bond. She's not your science experiment you weirdo.

    ReplyDelete
  109. Spath reaction to tearsDecember 10, 2011 at 10:04 AM

    The ex-Psych prof once said this when he had gotten me upset&crying in class. It was because of something he had read in "War and Peace" that says that Princess Maria Bolkonsky looks more beautiful when she's in tears. He'd just stand there, watching.

    During the final D&D, I'd be crying, and he'd-
    1)Rage MORE. Despite the fact his inexplicable anger had hurt me in the first place.
    2)Stand there coldly, blankly, saying, "I am CONTROLLING my feelings."
    3)Smiling and enjoying it.

    During the final D&D, I'd be publicly sobbing, in front of my classmates (and his colleagues)

    Of course, he accused me of putting on an act. He'd say coldly "I see you're struggling" and "I'm not worth your tears, stop crying over me."

    With NORMAL men, a woman's tears lowers his testosterone&he has the urge to comfort the woman. I think with Ns/Ps, it HEIGHTENS the testosterone&makes him more aggressive.

    I NEVER told the ex-P that during the final D&D that I was crying myself to sleep, because that would've made him feel more powerful.

    I didn't cry when I met his girlfriend at the concert;I was very staid&serene with her. (He glared&retreated on that one) But when I went back to my dorm, I wept. I was sad&angry he hadn't told me about her.

    What drove the ex-P absolutely nuts is when I stopped crying in public. I didn't cry at my senior oral examination;I didn't cry at graduation.

    ReplyDelete
  110. You are not going to get what you want. You are going to get what she wants you to see.

    ReplyDelete
  111. monica i understand what you are talking about with my bf i want to put him in a box so i can have his brain whenever i want he amuses me very much

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  112. @Anon Mine is not about amusement. We are truly intimate, which goes beyond sex or gender. True intimacy is soul touching soul. I find nothing funny or degrading about it. It is the deepest desire of the human heart, next to spirituality imo

    ReplyDelete
  113. Your friend is a sociopath ? Only a qualified mental health diagnostician can determine whether someone suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, psychopathy etc...and this, following
    lengthy tests and personal interviews. Is she diagnosed ?

    ReplyDelete
  114. TNP said...
    The question isn't whether or not I'm a sociopath, the question is why do you not want to acknowledge the fact that I could be one?


    ha good question

    ur such a deep thinker, TNP ;)

    ReplyDelete
  115. The Chosen One
    No, she is not. I don't believe in qualified mental health as a fundamental concept.
    Most of the people in it are not fundamental lol

    ReplyDelete
  116. You're kind of creepy Monica. Seriously. I'm not even jabbing at you, just to have something to do right now. That whole "sociopath girlfriend" thing you keep doing, sounds like some stalker shit to me. You're delusions are liken to that girl from the movie, 'May'. I hope you don't start collecting dead sociopaths, and turning them into dolls.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Stop being a cockblock, TCO. Let Monica get her rocks off with the girl wonder, so they can scissor with their souls.

    ReplyDelete
  118. A deep thinker looks at things beyond the surface, or the immediately knowable. He/she will read between the lines, look for deeper meanings, and seek understanding. He/she will reserve judgment until the subject has been thoroughly studied. He/she will come up with creative solutions.

    Most philosophers were deep thinkers, and so was Gandhi, for example.

    ReplyDelete
  119. Monica is a weirdo, by my standards for fucksakes.

    ReplyDelete
  120. @TNP

    Busted again.

    *jumps off building*

    ReplyDelete
  121. monica amusement is a great thing people get boring my bf never does

    ReplyDelete
  122. Yeah. Using logic totally requires some hardcore empathy and shit, yo.

    ReplyDelete
  123. Is there an empathy gang sign to flash that won't get confused with East Side, or projection? I wouldn't want my homies to get confused.

    ReplyDelete
  124. That could get really confusing for some of my homies. Then again, as long as they don't talk about it, I guess it won't matter.

    ReplyDelete
  125. @The Chosen One
    Ask David to video his.

    ReplyDelete
  126. To video his cock ? I meant to use the cock hang as a empathy sign.

    ReplyDelete
  127. @UKan
    Ok we have established that i am weak for being here, asking questions and obsessing over someone.
    I am sure you must be thankful that your wife did not give up on you. If thankful is the right word.

    ReplyDelete
  128. @To Missus
    I don't think you could be schizoid if you were voted Miss Congeniality .

    ReplyDelete
  129. That word has always sounded like an STD to me.

    Yeah, I've been up too long.

    ReplyDelete
  130. actually you could argue that everyone has empathy. or anyone who feels anything at all.

    it's the ability to "look", where society decides what you're supposed to see.

    ReplyDelete
  131. You can also argue that there are evil british space wizards hoarding rainbows inside the center of the earth, but it doesn't make it any less bullshit.

    ReplyDelete
  132. The problem with calling sociopathy a mental illness is that a person who has this condition almost by definition DOESN'T WANT to change. A true sociopath considers his or her condition to be all that is laudable in the world. The sociopath is a person who believes with nothing but true and heartfelt sincerity that anybody whose outlook differs from his or her own is INFERIOR and deserving of his or her unrestrained scorn and abuse.

    If you are lawful, the sociopath sees you as being "chained down."

    If you are generous, the sociopath sees you as "wasteful."

    If you are trusting, the sociopath sees you as "gullible."

    If you are kind-hearted, the sociopath sees you as "womanish" and therefore beneath contempt in the eyes of the strength-favoring sociopath.

    If you are merciful, the sociopath sees you as "weak-stomached."

    If you are intelligent, the sociopath sees you as "an egghead."

    The only thing that can ever affect a sociopath is the prospect of losing something associated with material gain, ill-gotten or not. That's the only thing that motivates the sociopath. The sociopath is literally an object in the fact that he or she can be bought and sold like a commodity, and the sociopath cannot be swayed either by social disapproval or the threat of punishment.

    ReplyDelete
  133. "@The Chosen One
    Ask David to video his."

    It's big, it's hot, it's juicy

    ReplyDelete
  134. trained her/you. 10:04
    do you think he was happy or indifferent about it?

    I'd have felt deflated. I'd have felt there w nothing that bonded you too together than the past.

    ReplyDelete
  135. @This is true

    [citation needed]

    ReplyDelete
  136. @This is true, you wrote;
    "The only thing that can ever affect a sociopath is the prospect of losing something associated with material gain, ill-gotten or not. That's the only thing that motivates the sociopath. The sociopath is literally an object in the fact that he or she can be bought and sold like a commodity, and the sociopath cannot be swayed either by social disapproval or the threat of punishment."

    This is true.

    ReplyDelete
  137. That's a bit biased, coming from a whore.

    Just saying.

    ReplyDelete
  138. This is true

    I think you mixed up sociopath and corporation. Don't worry it happens all the time.

    ReplyDelete
  139. please define "material gain."

    Will a sociopath put company as material gain, comfort, music, the wind, etc as material?

    ReplyDelete
  140. This is true is an idiot. S/he completely removing psychological satisfaction from the equation of being sociopathic, and reducing us to the "conmen" of Lovefraud. Probably from Lovefraud, too.

    ReplyDelete
  141. @TNP you make no sense. First you hate people here then you act like your friends.

    I use to look up to you man.

    You are just a fake person.

    ReplyDelete
  142. bella good times can bond people too

    ReplyDelete
  143. That's bollocks. When I was a lad I had nothing and lived on nothing. I didnt care about anything except rabble rousing, burning shite down, and causing chaos. I have lost everything a few times, and I didn't care. I just turned around, laid low, and built myself back up. Don't get me wrong, I have nice things and I like money, but power is worth the most to me and it would be difficult to take from me.

    ReplyDelete
  144. And here I thought I was so deep.~

    ReplyDelete
  145. It can't be bollocks, UKan. David says it's true.~

    ReplyDelete
  146. eden & and tnp sitting in a tree

    K-I-S-S-I-N-G

    ReplyDelete
  147. the only thing bella can bond to is crazy glue

    ReplyDelete
  148. eden & and tnp sitting in a tree

    K-I-S-S-I-N-G

    ReplyDelete
  149. bella i obsess over a select few they have to be special to me and stand out from the crowd

    ReplyDelete
  150. eden & and tnp sitting in a tree

    K-I-S-S-I-N-G

    ReplyDelete
  151. Why would anyone want to change if they are winning the game? You are inferior. That's why you are merciful, generous, trusting, and lawful. You do it because you are not strong enough to handle the reaction of people if you are not. You grovel and beg for what you get instead of just taking it. If you could get away with half the shit I do and still have peoples admiration you would sign up in a heartbeat. Admit it.

    ReplyDelete
  152. "That's a bit biased, coming from a whore."

    We're all biased to some point, or we wouldn't be able to have opinions.

    Are you some charity socio maybe?

    ReplyDelete
  153. Who the fuck goes up in trees to kiss? Are we in a lava jungle or something?

    ReplyDelete
  154. tnp, after finishing up a relationship. you want your ex to despise you. the effect you are looking for, is to have her tell her friends you were inhumane. that means you won.

    ReplyDelete
  155. eden & and tnp sitting in a tree

    K-I-S-S-I-N-G

    ReplyDelete
  156. eden & and tnp sitting in a tree

    K-I-S-S-I-N-G

    ReplyDelete
  157. eden & and tnp sitting in a tree

    S-T-R-A-N-G-L-I-N-G

    ReplyDelete
  158. Eden, if you're reading this, no more lava filled jungles, and no more kissing.

    ReplyDelete
  159. UKan said...
    Why would anyone want to change if they are winning the game? You are inferior. That's why you are merciful, generous, trusting, and lawful. You do it because you are not strong enough to handle the reaction of people if you are not. You grovel and beg for what you get instead of just taking it. If you could get away with half the shit I do and still have peoples admiration you would sign up in a heartbeat. Admit it.


    what would you do if you were in a place where you couldn't just take what you wanted but had to be merciful, generous, trusting and lawful to get it? could you do it, UKan?

    ReplyDelete
  160. I like to see old people having fun.

    ReplyDelete
  161. eden & and tnp sitting in a tree

    K-I-S-S-I-N-G

    ReplyDelete
  162. tnp, after finishing up a relationship. you want your ex to despise you. the effect you are looking for, is to have her tell her friends you were inhumane. that means you won.



    LOLWUT

    ReplyDelete
  163. eden & and tnp sitting in a tree

    K-I-S-S-I-N-G

    ReplyDelete
  164. crazy glue is some strong shit lol

    ReplyDelete
  165. Mercy and generosity are a means for an end. They can be just as useful as being ruthless and selfish, if you work the right crowd with them. Pet the Dog moments, it really can make people forget the worst in you.

    ReplyDelete
  166. eden & and tnp sitting in a tree

    K-I-S-S-I-N-G

    ReplyDelete
  167. And on that note, I'm outta here.

    ReplyDelete
  168. eden & and tnp sitting in a tree

    K-I-S-S-I-N-G

    ReplyDelete
  169. I hate the relationships where you're both so fucking paranoid you race to see who will get fed up first . Whoever doesn't is the loser, imo.

    ^Been there done that and I've been to rehab. And I say no no no

    ReplyDelete
  170. It is funny how TNP was really mean to Eden and now he likes her.

    ReplyDelete
  171. bella you get fed up easily then

    ReplyDelete
  172. "Eden, if you're reading this, no more lava filled jungles, and no more kissing."

    That shit started last night. You're not supposed to be civil with me, I suppose. Disgusting pig that I am.

    I hope I don't get stabbed by one of your lil fans, TNP.

    ReplyDelete
  173. What if your aunt grew a cock, zoe, would she then be your uncle?

    ReplyDelete
  174. "When I was a lad I had nothing and lived on nothing. I didnt care about anything except rabble rousing, burning shite down, and causing chaos."

    That sounds like you were just losing it, and had lost all grip. All individuals are different, even those who share equal characteristics. My actions have never been as random and meaningless as you describe when you were young. All my actions were always to provide me benefit.

    ReplyDelete
  175. TNP said...
    You can also argue that there are evil british space wizards hoarding rainbows inside the center of the earth, but it doesn't make it any less bullshit.



    no, just more interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  176. bella what do you want in a relationship i do better when i know

    ReplyDelete
  177. We have nothing in common david. You have no dignity and I would die before losing mine like you have. All your actions revolve around getting attention if it was to your benefit you wouldn't be in the mental state you are today.

    ReplyDelete

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