Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Seeing what you want to see

I studied economics for a time. I was introduced to behavioral economics and how the heuristics that help us deal with day to day problems can also frequently lead us astray. I had understood for a long time that people often self-deceived, but even I was surprised by the depth and breadth of the way we misperceive the world (me included). I learned the lessons of decisionmaking and rationality and tried to become more rational myself. I have since noticed that many of my friends who did fine understanding the concepts but lacked the humility or insight to see an application in their own lives.

My friend I mentioned earlier is a good example. He is so afraid of making a bad decision that he avoids making them until they are made for him. That or he waits until his fear and panic of making the decision cause him to take action, any action at all, but all in a fog of willful ignorance -- pretending that certain facts don't exist or (intentionally?) misrepresenting probabilistic outcomes in his mind. All of this is done in an attempt to shield himself from self-hatred or acknowledging certain basic truths about the world that he would rather ignore. I see this sort of ex post self-justification happen in the comments section of this blog from people who are doomed to repeat past mistakes because they refuse a sense of responsibility about their own destiny.

It's a good example of seeing what you want to see and the harm that can come from it. I actually advise people to not even form a belief if they can -- the temptation to anchor their future assessments or see all new information through the distorted lens of whether or not it confirms that belief is just simply too high.

Even if people get the probability correctly, they often don't understand what that means. It's one thing to say there's a 1% of getting caught stealing a mobile phone, but many people have trouble understanding that means if you steal 100 phones you will statistically get caught once. Instead they act as if anything less than 5% means never going to happen no matter how repeatedly they engage in it. Which is why I liked this recent article in the NY Times about understanding low probability risks. It's worth reading in its entirety, here's a teaser story:


I first became aware of the New Guineans’ attitude toward risk on a trip into a forest when I proposed pitching our tents under a tall and beautiful tree. To my surprise, my New Guinea friends absolutely refused. They explained that the tree was dead and might fall on us.

Yes, I had to agree, it was indeed dead. But I objected that it was so solid that it would be standing for many years. The New Guineans were unswayed, opting instead to sleep in the open without a tent.

I thought that their fears were greatly exaggerated, verging on paranoia. In the following years, though, I came to realize that every night that I camped in a New Guinea forest, I heard a tree falling. And when I did a frequency/risk calculation, I understood their point of view.

Consider: If you’re a New Guinean living in the forest, and if you adopt the bad habit of sleeping under dead trees whose odds of falling on you that particular night are only 1 in 1,000, you’ll be dead within a few years. In fact, my wife was nearly killed by a falling tree last year, and I’ve survived numerous nearly fatal situations in New Guinea.

120 comments:

  1. 1st and fucking up this blog by getting the iq's down

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. and damn proud of it2

      Delete
    2. ps come and get some

      Delete
    3. and i'm all out of bubblegum

      Delete
    4. today in the news
      dangerous crimal gets out faster by seducing a woman who ran his prison'2nd in command)
      got to love a good manipulation

      Delete
    5. TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE

      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE

      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE

      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. LIFETIME VEGITOPATH LOVES UKANJanuary 30, 2013 at 12:14 PM

      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE

      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE

      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE

      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE
      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE

      Delete
  3. me thinks ME is trying to bore us to death

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. devious, i like it

      Delete
    2. was this too challenging, anon? perhaps a simpler blog would suit you better...

      Delete
  4. her's a question to UKAN
    lets see how smart and devious you can be
    the question is this
    if i cannot feel love am i not worthy of giving it?
    am i not worthy of receiving love?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. forget worthy, if you cannot feel love, how are you capable of giving or receiving it? (honest question)

      Delete
  5. psychopathy is victory chased by defeat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. so make sure you develop a taste for 2 things: blood and strong liquor

      Delete
  6. only if you drop the soap

    ReplyDelete
  7. i just watched a great movie
    "the perfect host" 2010

    ReplyDelete
  8. Good morning Rich, how are you doin'?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Iam okay Mymind, thank you for asking!

      How are you doing?

      Iam starting to think Iam ALOT more emotionally shallow (in some aspects) than I believe myself to be, and in other aspects my emotions are very strong which makes it evermore confusing to me to sort them out.........

      Delete
    2. you'd have to be completely off drugs to be sure wouldn't you?

      also, maybe it's your environment, not you?

      Delete
  9. I find it condescending, fake and valueless when a therapist responds to what I say with some contrived display of empathy. What is the use of that? Tell me what you really think or don't bother, is my philosophy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd say that the therapist is bad. I think it's the same situation, as if you interact with someone else that is a S and you don#t know it. You just do the same thing with him as with all the others, the difference is that he will notice it and interpret it.
      But to your question: through the fact that you saw through it, it missed its goal. in your circumstance its even worse, it was counterproductive. But for anyone else it may be helpfull, because they take it for real, so it has a use. Although a therapist who does/needs to do such things should search for another job.

      Good morning Monica

      Delete
    2. just fake it like a good litle sociopath you aspie robot

      Delete
  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. LIFETIME VEGITOPATH LOVES MONICA AND UKANJanuary 30, 2013 at 12:07 PM

      MONEECA, YUU ARE GOEENG TO HAVE MAH CHEELDREN TEEHEE
      UKAN HAD HEES TURN, SO WILL YUU TEEHEE




















































































































































































































































      TEEHEE

      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE
































































































































































































































      Delete
  11. Good Morning Rich!

    Good Morning MyMind!

    Ellicit
    Are you, already, feeling that from this woman?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A person who will tell it like it is is a needle in a haystack. First of all, most people are not honest with themselves. That is really the main reason imo
      Then, the therapist does not want to lose the person, so there is a financial incentive not to make the person angry, which honesty can do, and to keep the person's problems strung out, so they get more money.

      Delete
    2. Yeah, it's definitely shooting yourself in the foot if your income depends on keeping people coming back.

      Delete
    3. LIFE TIME VEGITOPATH LOVES UKANJanuary 30, 2013 at 12:08 PM

      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE

      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE
      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE
      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE

      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE
      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE

      Delete
    4. Hey Monica!!!!

      Iam still going over my "shallow" emotions and trying to compare them to other emotions, its weird because in some aspects, I dont feel a difference, which means Iam very emotionally shallow, but to me, in my life, I dont feel emotionally shallow, its almost like I feel TOO MUCH.... Iam just confused I guess :(

      Delete
  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know. I guess she's trying to engage with me on an emotional level that may well work or be appreciated by a more normal person.

      Delete
    2. I think every person has a BS detector. Think about music. For someone to get famous, it must speak to the heart. If a therapist can't touch her own heart and allow others to let their hearts open up, she is worthless and more dangerous because she will make the person worse imo

      Delete
    3. Yeah, I think that's what it is - the BS factor and that it's not a genuine response. If her genuine response is not knowing what to say then remain silent or say you don't know how to respond. Some fake-ass attempt at emotional connection just achieves the opposite.

      Delete
    4. @Ellicit

      I wonder why you are going to a therapist.

      Delete
    5. I am addressing the causes of my personality disorder.

      Delete
    6. ah k, the usual reason. but why are the causes important to you?

      Delete
    7. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    8. The causes aren't important to me. Fixing the disorder is important to me.

      Delete
    9. is it even possible to really "fix" a disorder? btw. what is yours?

      Delete
    10. Do you always ask so many questions without any preamble of self-disclosure on your part?

      Delete
    11. not always. but you're right, quid pro quo.
      my reason, to go to the therapist, was a crisis of identity, but she kind of refused to help me.

      what my disorder is? i don't really know

      Delete
    12. Ellicit, you should throw your stuff on SW. You would get the best therapy ever ~

      Delete
    13. what my disorder is? i don't really know

      I don't believe you. You're giving advice on therapy and you're here posting on a blog for sociopathy, and you're trying to tell me you have no idea what might be wrong with your head?

      Delete
    14. Monica, this is the last place on the internet anyone should throw their stuff on.

      Delete
    15. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    16. You deleted that before I had a chance to see it.

      Delete
    17. Ellicit, are you going to give this person more of a chance. In my experience, it never gets better when you have this first reaction, early on.

      Delete
    18. Maybe I'm being too aggressive. Lord knows, I can be aggressive. I'm trying to encourage them a bit, but you're right. I'll lay off.

      Delete
    19. @ monica

      you're kinda right, swarm intelligence.

      @Ellicit

      Oh sry, i think there's a misunderstanding based on my formulation.
      I know very exactly what's "wrong" with my head, but i simply don't KNOW how to categorize the overall outcome.

      Delete
    20. I meant, the therapist, Ellicit.

      Delete
    21. LOL. Well, I don't know, Monica. I've been prodded by a lot of shrinks in the past and it never helped. I'm really trying this time, for the first time. I don't want to just grab onto the first excuse I find to ditch it because it really goes against the grain, as it is. I'm stoned, so maybe not making sense.

      Delete
    22. @Monica

      thx for your support, but everything is alright.

      @Ellicit

      if you want me to go more into detail just ask.

      Delete
    23. LoL as you see i also thought that monica means me^^

      Delete
    24. Yes, MyMind. Please, do go into more detail. You're keeping me on tenterhooks here.

      Delete
    25. No, it isn't. Are you dragging this out deliberately just to tease me now?

      Delete
    26. LIFETIME VEGITOPATH LOVES UKANJanuary 30, 2013 at 12:13 PM

      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE
      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE
      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE

      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE

      Delete
    27. LIFETIME VEGITOPATH LOVES UKANJanuary 30, 2013 at 12:14 PM

      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE
      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE

      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE

      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE
      TEEHEE CREEMENALS LIEK UKAN ARE SEXEE TEEHEE

      NO MATTUR HE MANAGED TO SEDEUCE HEES WAY OOT OFF PREESON TEEHEEE


























































































































































































































































      TEEHEE

      Delete
    28. No i didn't. but in some ways I'm just stupid.

      One the one hand i would consider myself a shizoid, i fulfill 6 of 9 characteristic traits and you need 3 to be diagnosed as one. Also i think that the word "schizo"(lat. for "cleaved") would describe my mind condition the best. Although i don't have emotions, i am capeable of feeling very strong anxiety, but only in extreme situations.(i use anxiety instead of fear to avoid the paradoxon, although i think that it is fear)But i have to add that this anxiety never had effects on my reaction(time) or on my decision making.

      On the other hand i don't have a conscience, which would place me in the sociopath category. Also i'm naturally manipulativ and enjoy quite a few forms of human interaction, even though i have to "charge my batteries" after i spend a maximum of 2 days nonstop with one or more persons. if i can't charge them at least a little bit by locking up somewhere for half an hour or so, i get very angry, or at least it seems like anger.
      Additionally i'm very egocentric and always interested in personal gain.

      Maybe you do understand now what i mean if i say i don't know how to categorize the overall outcome of my traits. Many of them are schizoid, but the same amount is sociopathic.

      Delete
    29. That is very interesting. Did you have severe childhood abuse?

      Delete
    30. Define severe childhood abuse, pls.

      Delete
    31. I can't really. It has to be defined by the person <3

      Delete
    32. There's been a few antisocial schizoids around here. There's a good thread in the forum about it that you might like. You'd need to use the advanced search feature for threads with schizoid in the title to find it.

      Delete
    33. In my opinion it's possible that i suffered severe childhood abuse, because i can't remember my early childhood. Also my mother used to beat me for punishment (is birching the right word for it?), what didn't work because i don't react on punishment.
      My father is dumb, my mother is narcissistic and dumb, too, and both are pitifully. They never understood me, even in the most simple conversation.

      Delete
    34. @Ellicit

      That were just a few of my traits, trust me, if the anwser would be easy, i'd have already figured it out by myself, no offense.
      Thank you for the advice, i'll read the topic.

      Delete
    35. I'll go to bed now, have a nice and successfull day!

      @Monica

      I'd really like to read your opinion to that topic tomorrow. :)

      Delete
    36. Which topic, Sweetie? and Good night :)

      Delete
    37. Maybe how you would categorize it^^

      Delete
  13. I constantly publish at the wrong place. I'm definitely retarded.

    ReplyDelete
  14. OMG....M.E......The acting is terrible on this reality show!

    ReplyDelete
  15. After I saw the film, 'Shutter Island' a few months back, I've started to seriously question my own world views.

    Sometimes I wonder, is it me, or is it them?

    But I don't allow myself to yield to the paranoia that these questions bring about.

    I realise that my life isn't in my own hands, there's nothing in my own power that I can do to add another day to my existence. A comforting thought.

    I keep my side clean, try and keep a steady watch over my own impulses and reactions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. By the way, I like to rely on my intuition, it's pretty accurate.

      Delete
    2. *realize

      I really don't care to respond when someone is controlling the format of this site.




      Delete
    3. Intuition, hunches, and first impressions are pretty accurate. You know the advice to stick with your first guess on multiple choice tests? It's for this reason.

      To the extent that you're invested in wanting certain things to be true or not, you'll behave irrationally and make poor decisions, so you need to remove those biases. Otherwise trusting your intuition is a good bet.

      Delete
    4. I loved Shutter Island. The book is a great read too - different ending though, and the film cheats you.

      Delete
    5. Hey Ellicit, your shrink doesn't sound too great. I know what you mean by fake empathy, that pisses me off. Can you find someone else to go to? Someone more likable? #unsolicitedadvice

      Delete
  16. It's tricky not forming beliefs - the closest I can come to not doing so is to assign odds on the probability that something is true. I can acknowledge that my information is imperfect and that the odds are never 100%, although this brings a level of detachment that probably isn't helpful for becoming more empathic.

    "I see this sort of ex post self-justification happen in the comments section of this blog from people who are doomed to repeat past mistakes because they refuse a sense of responsibility about their own destiny." I'd love to hear your take on these comments more specifically.

    ReplyDelete
  17. A long time ago(before I went numb) I felt solid. Solid was knowing that I am a jerk, but everyone is. I am selfish as a baby with a diaper pin stuck in it's ass, but everyone else is. Most importantly, I am going to die and everyone else is. So, it is road to nowhere, punctuated with some love, some lust, some goodness and some evil. I suppose the fun to be had is in defying the conventions. Be bizarre and laugh your ass off. That is a very good time and it is free.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah, be yourself Sofa :)

      Delete
    2. My biggest fear after illness and death, is that people will be mad at me. I hold an alert mechanism, in my stomach. It goes off like a fire alarm. God Forbid, someone gets mad at me at me and the abyss REALLY opens up, this time, and swallows me. It, probably, won't but you don't want to take the chance. Anger has been known to kill those who did not take the necessary precautions, like get an ulcer to stave it off.

      Delete
  18. I have distinct memories of the brief period when I was solid. They shine as the best memories of my life, even though I was not doing anything outstanding. When I lost that feeling of solidity,I could not catch a breath of the clear air at the surface, so I resigned myself to drowning and have spent my life, thus.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I, first, became solid when I knew that my mother was insane. That knowledge pushed my away from her in an ax like movement to the symbiotic cord that held us( It was really parasitic)

      But, there I was, as if born anew. I could breath, but the price was ever vigilance of the knowledge that she was insane. I repeated it, as a mental mantra, but I could never show it. I learned to lie, which would have been fine, if I did not start lying to myself. Then, I got enveloped and was virtually gone.

      Delete
  19. If I tell you my most priceless memories, they may sound silly, but they are as magical as dancing in a musical. I remember each of them, as you remember chocolate cheesecake when you are very hungry. It feels delicious in your mouth and it spreads it's wonder, just for you. Each memory has it's own distinctive elements, but they were all the same, in that I was there, on fucking terra firma.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The you of you is under the debris( and there is a friggin lot, in some cases). There may be a strand left, like a piece of hair or spaghetti, but it is someone, nonetheless.

      Delete
    2. one approach: be grateful that you are you and not her. and from that gratitude comes compassion, then freedom.

      Delete
    3. Wise thoughts, Zoe dear. Thank you!

      Delete
    4. wise thoughts from one who has a difficult elderly parent.

      he refuses to leave the apartment to even check the mailbox, to go to a doctor for anything, and also refuses any services, such as house cleaning, or even pizza delivery, that would require him to open the door to a stranger or god forbid let them in. we're not close, which actually makes it easier to cope with. his mantra was always "you have your life, it's none of my business". now it's "i'm not asking you for anything" paired with "something is not right with me, i'm so tired!".

      without getting into detail, there is some recent cognitive impairment, undiagnosed as he won't go to a doctor at all. he also has significant undiagnosed psychological limitations and challenges, similar to alexithymia and autism, that have alway been there (in my opinion). and then there is the person and personal choices.

      the challenge is knowing which is which. you just can't tell. feeling obligated leads only to frustration, fear or anger, and other crap that won't help. but realizing that it's a choice, that you are making the choice, frees you. y

      whether the debris is there because the other makes it your duty to meet their needs or because the duty is of your own making, is all up to you. much easier to live with the latter.

      Delete
  20. Replies
    1. aww toto wants you to take him with you on your paper route :-)

      Delete
    2. @potatopath

      da spam is da flattest. dumb up the damn spam.

      Delete
    3. coaster under da couch legJanuary 30, 2013 at 6:15 PM

      dats dump down da damn spam!

      Delete
    4. ta dum da dump

      Delete
    5. TEEHEE
      THEY TALK TO ME?
      TEE HEE BLAH BLAH







      TEEHEE

      Delete
  21. ME said:

    "He is so afraid of making a bad decision that he avoids making them until they are made for him. That or he waits until his fear and panic of making the decision cause him to take action, any action at all, but all in a fog of willful ignorance -- pretending that certain facts don't exist or (intentionally?) misrepresenting probabilistic outcomes in his mind. All of this is done in an attempt to shield himself from self-hatred or acknowledging certain basic truths about the world that he would rather ignore. I see this sort of ex post self-justification happen in the comments section of this blog from people who are doomed to repeat past mistakes because they refuse a sense of responsibility about their own destiny."


    maybe also the person tends to exaggerate in their mind the pitfalls and what could go wrong and avoids actions as a result of a distorted view of reality... an exaggerated negativity... less so a blind eye to basic truths and perhaps more in some cases an avoidant eye to imagined terrors...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah i just on't get that.. avoiding instead of confronting and dealing with a situation. the worse the pitfalls the more they demand confronting. how can it be otherwise? tell me someone. this attitude (?) is a mystery to me.

      is it distorted view or lack of courage?

      Delete
    2. you avoid? why avoid?

      Delete
    3. if you don't confront it how can you properly assess it?

      Delete
    4. I have given up my personal power, so just go into a frozen mode.

      Delete
    5. I think it is like the Learned Helplessness of rats, or the elephant who is tethered to the small stool. You give up.

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    6. i find it almost painful to not take action. even when things are going well or when nothing can be done, i still need to jump in and DO something. but i'm learning to go with the flow, to not mess things up when all is going according to plan.

      couldn't you do the opposite? make yourself take some action, even a tiny step? it might teach you that you're not so helpless.

      i think i know what it might be like. when i'm overwhelmed, i'll feel sick at the thought of having to do a thing and avoid it. it could be just some stupid thing like paying the bills or doing the laundry, or even a fun thing like going out for dinner. it feels like this great weight pressing down and i just want to hide under my bed from the world. is it like that?

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    7. No, I really think it is being the consummate victim because you are afraid that every move will bring anger, disapproval or dislike down on your head and all these things are so painful that you would rather abdicate than do them. I wonder if M.E was talking about me when he said some people in the comment section.

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    8. but you're not afraid to bring on the disapproval from others here. what's different here?

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    9. in a way it all all all comes down to whether its feelings over the will, or the will over feelings.

      everyone goes on about feeling things deeply, as if life is somehow less meaningful if you don't. but to feel deeply and be ruled entirely by what you feel seems like the worst kind of prison sentence to me. you can't count on yourself. because you might feel differently tomorrow, because of what someone said or didn't say or what you ate or watched on tv.

      what's the point of having a mind if it sinks every time a little emotion washes over it?

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    10. ZoeJanuary 31, 2013 at 8:33 PM

      but you're not afraid to bring on the disapproval from others here. what's different here?

      Who I am, on here, is exactly who I am. However, I am a vanilla flavor version on myself, in real life, because I am afraid to be authentic, as I am, on here.

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    11. ZoeJanuary 31, 2013 at 8:47 PM

      in a way it all all all comes down to whether its feelings over the will, or the will over feelings.

      everyone goes on about feeling things deeply, as if life is somehow less meaningful if you don't. but to feel deeply and be ruled entirely by what you feel seems like the worst kind of prison sentence to me. you can't count on yourself. because you might feel differently tomorrow, because of what someone said or didn't say or what you ate or watched on tv.

      what's the point of having a mind if it sinks every time a little emotion washes over it?


      You really get me thinking, Zoe. I can see why you are CEOs favorite ~

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    12. not me. vegitopath is the current favorite :-)

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    13. Vegitopath is Medusa and it sucks what she is doing. Anyway, you are CEO's favorite, so I just have to live with it ~

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  22. My wish would be to have my mind back, pristine, before the alien(s) stole it. They took me up to the ship and did surgery on me. YES, I got pregnant and had an alien child, a misfit with a grotesque head. Did I love it? No, but I kept it. I fed it and nurtured it, but it turned on me. You can never trust aliens. So, I sit trying to figure out the mechanics of the situation, mainly how to throw it out in the garbage, the way they do tumors or other disgusting things.

    ReplyDelete

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