Wednesday, January 16, 2013

What is truth?

I think one of the biggest distinctions between different sociopaths is if they believe in truth or not. Freud said, "A man who doubts his own love may, or rather, must doubt every lesser thing." I feel like this has been true in my life. I grew up watching my narcissist father give overblown displays of emotion. Consequently, it was not only hard for me to take any displays of emotion seriously, it was hard for me to credit the very existence of those emotions in other people. It took me a long time to recognize the inner emotional worlds of others -- it was hard for me to even think certain emotions outside of my personal experience were legitimate and existed in the world. And once you doubt something as big as that, I think it is easy to, as Freud says it, doubt every lesser thing.

And it's easy to live that way. It's easy to assume that the world and society is just one big collective delusion and nothing you do matters. But it's also hard to live that way. Why would I want to live in that world? Oh, for sure there is freedom. And that must seem like it would be great to people -- to be able to live in a world in which you absolutely couldn't care less? But what is the point of freedom -- freedom to do what? Why choose between one action and another if nothing I do matters? Once you get past the initial evolutionary pleasures of dopamine responses in the brain, or you get accustomed to them, what more is there? I'm sure it's great and I don't mean to be too down on it. It's just not my personal preference, given the choice.

And believing in meaning and truth constrains my behavior in a way. I can't believe there is truth and then act in total disregard for it all of the time -- there would be too much cognitive dissonance. Or it would devalue truth to me -- how important is truth if I could ignore it so easily and often? But I can imagine that if you were sociopathic and did not believe in an objective truth or any sort of grander meaning to life, then your behavior wouldn't be constrained in those sorts of ways. Maybe you wouldn't be as conscientious because there would be nothing to measure your behavior against.

Pontius Pilate asks Jesus Christ, "Art thou a king then?" Christ replies, "Thou sayest that I am a King. To this end was I borne, and for this cause came I into the world, that I should bear witness unto the truth: every one that is of the truth heareth my voice," to which Pilate retorts, "What is truth?" Christians, including Francis Bacon in his On Truth, criticize Pilate for his lack of faith -- Pilate, not believing any particular thing, was able to order the crucification of a man based solely on the whims of the crowd. Nietzsche, on the other hand, praises him for his uncommon wisdom and that the statement is "the only saying that has any value" in the New Testament.

I feel like there are some sociopaths who would respect Pilate -- choose that path -- and others who would rather not. I don't think there is anything about sociopathy that compels or exalts one position over the other. But if you do think like Pilate, you're probably more likely to act like him, which is why I think that sociopaths who question the existence of objective truth behave differently than those who believe in truth.

137 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. As an anon? You're another waste.

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    2. A waste of what? You ironic imbecile. You wanna chat? Waiting for your friends or you wanted the possibility a new person to have an identity? Provoke me, maybe.

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    3. LOL doesn't that you much to set you off, now does it?

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    4. Anonymous (12:20)/OnaniJanuary 16, 2013 at 2:49 AM

      Oh God! You provoked me. I was the one acting ironic right :) Already being provoked, and telling you to provoke me. I mean really what a narcissist, from now on call me "Onani", if you find the meaning behind my pseudonym you are a champ ;)

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    5. I think 'Screwy' suits you just as well.

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    6. you both are hilarious, coming from your namesake.

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  2. Truth is absolute. We are just making excuses to our limited knowledge.

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    1. the truth is perseption and relativity
      (and usualy smoke and mirrors in my case)

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    2. perception is the amount of knowledge you have received and understood, through your five senses. Relativity is the constraints you don't have in certain situations because of the lack of Knowledge. A blind person feels and perceives the world because of his inability to see. However he feels the same information you receive when you touch a certain surface and maybe with a superior insight because as humans we can process so much. So his inability to see, concentrates his channel of information and enables him to "obtain" more knowledge. Its so simple you silly relativistic maniac :p

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    3. the truth is relative to for inctance time

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    4. Really, M.E. I wouldn't believe anything Nietzsche had to saw about the bible; he was an atheist.

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    5. Anon 753

      You do realise there are atheist professors of religion? Yes ?

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    6. Indeed. *realize

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    7. Realize = American, which I am not. But I'm sure you knew that ;)

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    8. @Agnopath

      let's say there are absolute truths. we know something created the universe. let's call it God. only God can understand absolute truths, having unlimited knowledge.

      evil may or may not exist.

      if evil exists then there is absolute evil. but God creates all that is good, so where did absolute evil come from? from free will? from our choices? didn't that come from God?

      from outside of God? but if God created all there is how can there be anything outside of God? if evil came after God created the universe, then evil also came from God, didn't it?

      if absolute evil exists, then God does not create all that is good. therefore absolute evil either does not exist, or God that creates only good doesn't.

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    9. if absolute evil doesn't exist, how can there be absolute good? how can you say this thing is good and that isn't? unless it's a relative truth. we have concepts of evil and good, but if absolute evil does not exist, these are only relative truths.

      but as stated above, if absolute evil exists, it came from God. by definition God creates all that is good, so how can there be absolute evil if there is a God? and if there is absolute evil how can there be a God that is absolute good if that God created evil?

      maybe there's a relative God? what do you think??

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    10. And do you believe there is human evil AND satanic evil?

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    11. evil is evil.

      everything is just vibration, including evil, and we feed off of different vibrations. maybe some just need the evil.

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  3. the truth is wat ever i can convince you off

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  4. Replies
    1. Grammar nazis,grammar nazis everywhere

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    2. Looks to me like someone was trying to be smart, and failed.

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  5. What does it mean to hear His voice?

    To attach importance to His words, to value His insights, which naturally leads you to follow Him.

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    1. are you takinging about lance armstrong?

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  6. What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.

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  7. Those are some amazing insights. I have come upon a wonderful way to be happy. Being able to give love freely, is almost a pure happiness. When you know you have the power to do this, at times, your life takes on new meaning. Your self esteem rises and you wake up and feel excitement for what the day will bring.

    I struggle with all the things I write about here, so I am not trying to say I am great, because I am not, but I have found buried treasure and I think this is what M.E is talking about

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    1. You know what I realized, after I wrote this? I am afraid of pleasure, even simple pleasures like sitting outside with my face in the sun or sitting on the beach with the sun beating down. It is weird to have this insight, but it is true.

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    2. I am very happy you found the burried treasure, my sweet baby darling. Give me love freely and so will I.

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    3. Where do you live?

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    4. Where do you live?

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    5. One question does come to my mind, though. How did you answer so fast? Do you refresh the page every second until you get an answer to what you wrote?

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    6. I know what is wrong with monica! Seasonal Affective Disorder caused by lack of sunshine. That will be a hundred bucks bitch!

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    7. Wrong isn't the word i would use. What is monicas deal? Well shes a sociopath. But that being wrong or not is completely up to the individual.

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    8. Monica 6:07. Me too. I have a long theory about this. I do not even know sometimes what is my own idea for pleasure. I have parent's voice telling me what is pleasurable. then I will often do what someone else does and think that gives me pleasure. It does work, but is a mask.

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    9. Thanks Anon 12:57

      I am so glad someone answered in a real way. It is not a joke. There is a psych name for it -dysphoria- or something like that. You can Google it but I am AFRAID of pleasure. I, just, realized that, yesterday. It is not that I can't feel it, as much, as that I am afraid to feel it. It is both, really, but I just realized the fear part. It may be because of sexual abuse. I don't know, but there has not been a single time when I tell my story that someone does not understand. I would love to talk more about this, as it is kind of awful to have it.

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  8. :) Good Morning Sociopathworld!!!!

    M.E. had a narcissist as a father? I never knew that!!!! I STRONGLY believe my father is a narcissist/sociopath...... He is very criminal in his ways too so he may be a sociopath, but acts like a narcissist with VERY shallow emotions/ emotional display, unlike M.E.'s father who he says had exaggerated displays of emotion.

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    1. how did that shape your view on the world and the truth?

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    2. how is/was the relationship with your father do you want ot be like him or his opposite?

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    3. Well, I only lived with him until I was 8 when my parents got divorced and even when they were together I wouldnt spend much time with him because he would sleep all day, he had a night job and after work he and the guys there would get drunk and play cards for money.......

      My father is the exact example of a person that I would NEVER EVER want to be like in my life. We have absolutely NO relationship, I havent spoken to him in 10 years (and Iam only 24). He had warrants out for his arrest when he married a french lady and moved in with her in Paris, France.

      Last I heard (from his mother, my grandma, we dont have a relationship either, havent talked to her since I was like 17) one day when his wife was at work he packed up all of his things and disappeared without even leaving a note....... He moved to China and that was the last anybody heard from him, when I was 17 and talked to his mother she said she hadnt spoken to him for 2 years and hasnt heard anything about him from anybody in the family (he has lots of brothers and sisters).

      I thought grown men were pretty cruel as I was young, but only because I thought the way my father acted was "normal" I thought all kids get screamed at by their father daily so it seemed normal to me, until I got older.

      It made me hide my emotions and how I felt alot and made me feel like I have to walk through like with a "poker face", and I still do have that poker face. You know when somebody says something to you and looks at you to see your reaction in your facial expression? I never have one at those times because I KNOW they are looking to see what Iam thinking....... I always have a poker face when people are looking for a reaction, I still laugh and stuff but if somebody said something to me that you would think made me mad or something, you would never be able to tell how I feel from just looking at my face.

      When I was little my father would do mean/cruel things and he would look for my reaction, so I thought it gave him satisfaction to know he was bothering me/getting to me/getting on my nerves, so I always kept a poker face and acted like nothing bothered me, even when it did.

      But sometimes I couldnt hold the poker face and would have an intense emotional reaction, like crying.

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    4. NO OFFENCE BUT DO YOU THINK THER's ppl like your father here
      so you do feel comfortable with ppl like him?

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    5. i know the pokerface but that's just couse my charm don't work on him and if i don't need to pretend (get nothing out of it) i won't

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    6. Do I think there are people like my father here? Sure, this is a site with lots of personality disordered people...... I dont feel uncomfortable around them as long as they arent purposely mean or cruel to me.

      Iam a very accepting person, as long as somebody is nice and kind and treats me well and with respect then I will treat them the same way.

      For me the Poker face isint pretending, it is just not giving people the reaction they would expect a person to have, like if you are with a group of people and somebody says something to you and people look at your face to see your reaction mine will just be normal as if I had no reaction at all.

      In some cultures not showing expressions on your face/ keeping a poker face in life is acually considered a sign of maturity. Iam not from one of those cultures though :)

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  9. lace armstrong sociopath?
    (journalist called him that wander what ppl here think of it)
    personaly i think he sould keept denying

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    1. that pussy gives in and now he's gonne loos a lot of money
      his game is weak

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    2. He should have kept denying it or he should have admitted to it right when he got caught so he wouldnt lose all of his endorsements, those things make you big money!!!!!

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    3. bet you annything he got (direct or indirect) money from ophra

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    4. Very possible, I dont doubt it and I wouldnt be suprised if he did.

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    5. Armstrong threatened the other cyclists when they caught him doping. Yes, I believe he is a narcissist/sociopath.

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  10. THE TRUTH IS WHAT I SAY IT IS

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    1. looks like we got a badass over here
      welcome to the club )

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    2. Lol! This blog needs a 'badass of the week' theme.

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    3. Theme for UKan because he is the biggest, baddest, scariest sociopath on SW *cough*

      If someone wants to be a bigger turd than UKan, be my guest and Themes will give you UKan's Theme ~

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  11. She could not open her mouth, for fear the wicked witch would shove in the poisoned apple and it would go down her intestinal tract and stay there as an undigested blob and poison her. So, she shut her mouth, until she became frozen, a walking frozen snowman. All the millions of frozen minds, walked in lock step look like a great army, like China has. They can't think for themselves, either. I knew there was something familiar about the Chinese, besides their food.

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    Replies
    1. The locked mind is the key. You locked it from the inside, but then you are like a house bound person. You wear pink, fluffy slippers, a ratty bathrobe and look like hell. You made the prison and then you go curl up inside it, as if it is a comfortable nook with tea and a book. You have become like the Chinese. You were slapped each time you ventured out, so you stayed and thought you had a cozy home, when you had a fucking hovel, truth be told.

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  12. I'm bored Onani, lets play. You and me.

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    1. Before we play me you would have to guess the origin of my pseudonym. I want to marginalize your intellect, make sure you are smart enough.

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    2. Onani- Does it have to do with masturbation? Like Onanism? LOL

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    3. Thank you Rich you spoiled the fun :( excessive to be precise. Narcissus-like. Cant get enough of myself ;)

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    4. LOLOLOL!!!! Wow!!!! I feel smart now!!!!

      I got it from reaing Richard von-Kraft Ebbing's Psychopathia Sexualis (Sexual Psychopathy).

      It is an AWESOME BOOK with tons of case studies from sexual murder/torture/sadism/masochism.......

      Anybody can read it for free because it is a VERY OLD book, written in the 1800's I believe.


      Google Books has this project where they want to make old historical books available to people who would like to read them for free. They want to preserve the books to be read by future generations (like us)

      Heres a link to Psychopathia Sexualis, I definatly recommend reading it or just skimming through some of the case studies

      http://books.google.com/books?id=9SYKAAAAIAAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false

      PS_ Some of the studies are strange, like people ripping out other peoples entrails and smelling them to get sexual gratification! LOL

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    5. PS- I also like the name ;) lol, very creative/funny at the same time.

      Excessive Narcissistic Masturbation FTW!!!!!!

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  13. I love you Ellicit.

    There you go, I had to say it, now it is said. I'm free.

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    1. you can only be free if i seperate your soul and body with this blade here...

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    2. Stick it in. Make the blood splatter all over the walls.

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    3. "Stick it in. Make the blood splatter all over the walls."

      LOL I read this post without reading the post above it and I got a VERY NASTY picture in my head! lol

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  14. will you be free in hell of heaven?

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    Replies
    1. Perhaps, but you will be living in the shadowlands of heaven. A miserable place - not happy.

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  15. I respect Pilate as a historical figure, if not so much as Christ contemporary to him. Both of them understood the implications of their persons and actions. Christ understood that his heresy of love would eventually bring the wrath of the pharisees down on his head. Pilate understood that the pharisees comprised a client regime, and he was merely there to wield the force of Rome on their behalf. And so, Pilate washed his hands of responsibility for the execution that, like so many others of that time, the crowd demanded.

    Pilate didn't ask that Jesus be tortured an executed. As is typically the case with the sociopaths of this world, neurotypical "little Eichmann"s demanded something, and so he provided. Whether it is more responsible to reveal or play along with the inherent vileness of the herd is a question for another time.

    "If you're going to go telling people the truth, you'd better make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll kill you."

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    1. Brad Pitt will be playing Pilate in an upcoming movie. We will see what he brings to the table.....

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    2. "Pilate, not believing any particular thing, was able to order the crucifiction of a man based solely on the whims of the crowd."

      Rome's fear of Christ, also, played a part on Pilates decision as his popularity was growing. Also, Pilate knew how Christ would die.

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    3. Very interesting, Entropy Ann.

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    4. I guess, monica, ^^ did not find my posts interesting? I will survive. LOL

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    5. monica - do YOU mess with people? Take note Rich!

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    6. LOL Anon, I will take note!

      I dont think she messes with people BUT, if she does, it is probably people who have already messed with her!

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    7. I knew you would have a comeback as such. But that's right you two are the same person. You're monica's fake story or sock puppet. No, truth from that vacuous ****. Have a nice day!!!!

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    8. I don't understand how love could be a heresy... it doesn't harm anyone, it's only beneficial in nature, in fact.

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    9. IAM NOT MONICA!!!!!! Why do you think I am? Why would Monica make up sotries of being a 24 year old drug addict from Florida?

      IT MAKES NO SENSE, and if it dosent make sense, its not true!!!! (I got that from Judge Judy LOL)

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    10. Also, read Monicas stories and compare them to my stories. Monicas parents are still together, Mine divorced when I was 8 (I even said that today on here).......

      Iam here because I like SW, but Iam not Monica!!!!!!

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    11. I don't believe you. Fuck Off

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    12. monica is that a picture of your son on rich's avatar. I bet he got his beauty from his mother. LOL

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    13. LOL! No my avatar is a picture of Richard "The Iceman" Kuklinski, serial killer/ hitman. Look him up on youtube andwatch The iceman tapes, I guarantte you will love em!!!!

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  16. Rich
    People are just trying to bug you. I ignore. x x

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    1. :) lol Thanks Monica!!!!! I love feeding the trolls once in a while though ;) lol

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    2. That is cool. I figured you liked feeding them, but I thought I would mention it. There is nothing as satisfying as a troll fight, when the mood hits you ~

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    3. LOL! Yeah sometimes I dont feel like bothering with them, but other times I actually have fun with it ;)

      How are ya today Monica?

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    4. rich be sure to defend monica to UKan - we would all love to hear that dialog. Let's see how strong you really are!!!!!!LOL

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    5. LOL Ukan is one tough dude!!!!

      Do you guys actually think that is the real original Ukan?

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    6. Even a fake UKan could make YOU stutter and whimper in a corner. I take that back monica gets real quiet and has only a few words to say to UKan along with laughter. Sort of like you. hmmm

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    7. nobody can defend monica. she has embarrassed herself to the point where even M.E. had to say something about how pathetic she was and she hardly ever comments about other users.

      Do you guys actually think that is the real original Ukan?

      What do you think you clueless cunt.

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  17. I have been having horrible anxiety, Rich. BTW, I don't call myself a narcissist. I don't really know what I am besides being dissociated.

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    1. Oh okay, I thought I read before like when I first came here that people said you had accepted that you were a Narcissist but they were probably just messing with you. Dissociated sounds like a label that fits you alot better, but you are coming out of it SLOWLY! I have faith in ya!!!!

      I hate Anxiety and I have it all the time when Iam not on meds. Do you take any meds for it Monica?

      Did you see that post above where that person said you may have "seasonal affective disorder" does that fit you?

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    2. she's not a narcissist. people abuse that word here.

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    3. I would say sociopath.

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  18. I don't take meds, Rich. I got a program to help you come out of dissociation and am doing the program but it is slow, as heck.

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    1. Well, things like that take time...... Just think of how long you have lived dissociated, most of your life, so it will definatly take some time to be "all there. But as long as it is working (even if it is VERY SLOW) then you are making good progress and should continue and progress as much as you can :)

      PS- Are you thinking about going on another fast?

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    2. Thanks Rich. You are so uplifting. Stopped the fasts but I am going to sing harmony my friend's band. I, always, had the dream of being a back up singer. Harmony is magical, to me. Wanting to do this will force me out of my comfort zone. I am hoping this will really help me out of disossication.

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    3. Glad to uplift ya Monica!!!!! If I were u I would do anything that would make me happy or feel better because that encourages u to feel ur feelings and not supress them, which should help u and be good for encouraging feeling ur emotions :-)

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    4. Glad to uplift ya Monica!!!!! If I were u I would do anything that would make me happy or feel better because that encourages u to feel ur feelings and not supress them, which should help u and be good for encouraging feeling ur emotions :-)

      idiot. you are fighting a lost cause. people have tried to help this worthless bitch for years, and she has only gotten worse.

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    5. UKan Preserve My NatureJanuary 16, 2013 at 6:22 PM

      You peons don't know the greatness of UKan. He rules all mortals and wins all confrontations. Bring it on Rich and Monica.

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    6. I'd be very interested in hearing about your program for coming out of dissociation, if you want to talk about it, Monica.

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  19. I am having a tough time acepting that having lived in a dissociated fashion is a bad thing for you, or anyone else for that matter, Monica. I mean, who is telling you that? Is that your way of beating yourself over and over? Can't you identify the good parts of it and accept as, shall we say, a badge of honor?

    Dissociation is a major defense mechanism. One can keep one side of her life dissociated and move full fledge with her other sides. I mean if I were you I'd stay dissociated in some ways. I am actually working hard in accomplishing certain dissociations, and I see strength in dissociation. But then again unlike you I love pampering myself and feel no guilt but just the opposite when I spend time, money, and effort on myself. Maybe it is because I already have spent too much time on everyone else in my life. I don't owe anyone any shit anymore. It is all about taking, if that, right now. No more giving but learning receiving. You may want to read some books on Receiving with Gratitude.

    And, yes, you are on the spectrum with NPD, definitely. Your constant whining and keeping the attention on you, range of your anger and feeling easily slighted. All of that points out to it, and like Rich said we had established that one before. NPD does not conflict with also being dissociated. You have a lot of parts and a lot of associated different characteristics with each. What is particularly interesting is your sexuality and somehow you only bring it out when posting under another character. Are you sexually dissociated (asexual) as well? I don't think so, but I am curious, I bet Rich is too..

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    1. Asexual LOL I sound like a planeria.

      I hate being dissociated. No one "told" me it was bad. It feels awful, like I live underwater. I am sure I am high in Narcissism, as sure as I am that you are high in schizoid ~

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    2. Hey Sceli' I am not asexual, but for a male my sex drive is very low. I hear using opiates lowers ur sex drive and I've been physically addicted since I was 17 now I am 24 and still opioid dependant on methadone which SEVERELY lowers my sex drive. I also take Xanax which increases the effect of methadone, so I don't know how I'd feel off of everything but I guarantee my sex drive would improve if I were off them.

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    3. Hey Sceli' I am not asexual, but for a male my sex drive is very low. I hear using opiates lowers ur sex drive and I've been physically addicted since I was 17 now I am 24 and still opioid dependant on methadone which SEVERELY lowers my sex drive.

      pathetic.

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    4. I do it every night. I do it twice a night, if my wife is lucky and I don't wear her out. Lucky, it replenishes itself.

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    5. I am having a tough time acepting that having lived in a dissociated fashion is a bad thing for you, or anyone else for that matter

      That has been my view on it too. I've been doing some reading on the subject lately though and it seems that it is bad for someone to be in that state or rely on it as a coping mechanism.

      With dissociated emotional affect the emotion doesn't go away because it is not integrated and processed. It will continue to assert itself into consciousness over and over again, setting up a cycle or pattern of dissociation unless dealt with.

      Also, emotional affect is a major component of the information a person has in order to understand and respond to their environment. Being dissociated is how you can go from thinking/feeling all is fine one moment to exploding or half-killing someone the next.

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    6. With dissociated emotional affect the emotion doesn't go away because it is not integrated and processed. It will continue to assert itself into consciousness over and over again, setting up a cycle or pattern of dissociation unless dealt with.

      Also, emotional affect is a major component of the information a person has in order to understand and respond to their environment. Being dissociated is how you can go from thinking/feeling all is fine one moment to exploding or half-killing someone the next.




      Ellicit

      Honestly, you blow me away with your insight and you brilliance. I don't say that very much. There is one other person on here to whom I feel that. You truly have a depth of understanding of the human soul.

      I have been thinking about how I want to answer your question, since I saw it, last night before I went to bed.

      First of all, I will tell you how I REALIZED I was dissociated. I think it is something you have to feel from your gut, not something people can tell you. You have to grasp just what it is, from an internal vantage point.

      This is how I did. I knew something happened to me at 14 when I went into a fog. When my father ( whom I thought was an ally) told me my mother was Ok, I went into a fog, at that very moment. When I left that talk with him, I was never the same. Prior to that, I had been happy. I had fun. I enjoyed activities. I had confidence. I could feel out life, and act accordingly and LEARN lessons. This part is important because when you are dissosciated, you cannot learn. That may be why the sociopath cannot learn, and makes the same mistakes over and over. I don't know, but I know you cannot learn, anymore, because you become "dense"

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    7. So, at 14, I was "no longer there". I was underwater. I acted like I was "normal" from then on. I did what normal people do, like have friends and do activities but I was, always, underwater, so did not feel much of anything. I just did not want to look weird, so I acted in a way I thought a normal person would.

      I, only realized I was dissociated, after my son died. Being in shock ( which is what dissociation is) is a very strange thing. After my son died, I went into a bubble where I felt nothing, totally numb. I could not cry. It felt like a novacaine blanketed my entire body and emotions. Only then, did I realize this had happened before. Then, I knew what dissociation was. I knew it from inside and I understood it.


      Dissociation is not good for you, for a number of reasons. It takes a lot of vital life energy to keep things squished down. Also, you cannot learn about life in a real way, because we learn from our own gut. If you don't have access to your own gut, you need to rely on other people( even shrinks) for your understanding of the world. That is what happens in cognitive therapies imo. I know I am going to touch a nerve with some people , but that is my opinion.

      Delete
    8. Also, if you are dissociated, you miss much of life. You miss much of it's beauty because you are numb. You can't feel your own "being", not to be overly poetic. You can't feel all that you are. Hence, you really cannot be intimate with another person because that involves sharing who you are and you don't know. Your quality of life is really reduced.

      The only reason to stay dissociated is that you would go insane if you faced your memories. God put dissociation in the human being, so he would not die of a broken heart.I am sure you know of the studies where the babies are fed and changed but have no human touch. They die. The human psyche is fragile. Dissociation is a survival mechanism. However, life is blunted. That is why it is so precious to me when I come out, for small periods of time, as I have been. It is just minutes at a time, though. I can feel my body and my dog sitting on my lap, for example. That is a great joy to me.



      Ellicit, I have been doing what you said about yoga. I meditate as I do the postures and this does help me to feel centered. Thank you!

      Delete
    9. I need to get back into doing hatha yoga too. I felt the most centered when I was doing an hour daily, but I've let it go for a few years now.

      I know what you're talking about with the dissociation and remembering the exact moment you went into it too. I remember this at age nine. And a hazier memory at five. Not being a direct victim of violence myself, I had never considered that witnessing it might have had a lasting impact on me until reading about ptsd and dissociation recently and talking to a doctor about it.

      Delete
    10. Witnessing it can be worse than having it done to you because you have the guilt of not helping.

      Delete
    11. The best example of dissociation, on here, is UKan. Did you see Alterego try to argue with him? She left SW in frustration, it seems. She seemed to realize it was a waste of time and energy.

      UKan is dense, emotionally, like a brick wall. However, he is very intelligent. He is smart about other people's faults, at times, although he repeats the same faults to everyone, like a broken record ~

      However, his emotional understanding of himself is totally dense. His POV on the world is dense, too.

      This is from dissociation imo

      Delete
    12. "UKan is dense, emotionally, like a brick wall."

      Consider yourself projecting. Everyone, agrees.

      Delete
  20. there's no truth just perception, and all it takes for that perception to change is someone being more clever than the next.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Rich, I did not suggest that you were asexual. I suggested that yu might be curious to hear about Monica's sexuality. I somehwo see you two as friends and a suport system for each other. You actually come across very excited about the attractive opposite sex and female attention, but like you said medication may be impacting your libido.

    Monica, I see that you dodged the sexuality issue again. Why? What's the big deal that you won't talk about it?

    You believe I am high in schizoid. I don't believe so. Are you low in schizoid that you feel relative to you I am high in it? I copied what I found below and I am on the low to n/a on almost all of them.

    I believe I am on the spectrum as high on narcissism, hsp, and high functioning aspie. My friends believe I am none of these,they think I am just overly idealistic, perfectionist, and control freak. Often, the ones who sugest that I am control freak are those who wish yet fail to control me. I believe no one should control others, but I should be and I am in full control of who I am and how I behave.

    observable schizoid behaviors, organized into three groups of characteristics:
    1. unsociability, quietness, reservedness, seriousness, eccentricity
    2. timidity, shyness with feelings, sensitivity, nervousness, excitability
    3. pliability, honesty, indifference, silence, cold emotional attitudes.

    ReplyDelete
  22. You seem very literal to me, Sceli, but I guess I got defensive when you called me whiny and narcissistic ~
    What do you want to know about my sexuality?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can be literal, what do we have in this medium beyond words to rely on for communication?

      Literal does not translate to schizoid, I am missing your point on that and also on how I am being offensive to you that you are acting defensive. I think it's coming back to what I was saying on you getting easily slighted.

      I get easily slighted normally too, but we've been around here long enough to learn not get easily slighted.

      SW is full of people with sadistic attitudes, I am not one of them. I get no pleasure from telling you that you are whiny and seeing you get defensive. I'm actually helping you (in my mind) by providing an outside perspective. YOur insecurites are rewriting my script.

      I also don't do and follow this 'tongue in cheek' thing. If I use ~ that means complete negation, just loke Post would mean.

      Delete
    2. What do I want to know about your sexuality? You have no idea how absurd that question is. You are dodging a free talk about your own sexuality.

      Delete
    3. I was brought up to be a lady. A lady does not talk about her sexuality in a coarse fashion. I am not kidding on this one, Sceli.

      Yes, I felt offended to be called whiny and narcissistic. The fact that that would be a surprise to you, shows you have a clueless kind of way about you BUT what they hey. I don't want contention, if I don't have to have it, so lets just move on. What do you say?

      Delete
    4. I'd say ladies first, lol...

      Delete
  23. Science is truth. Pretty much everything else is subjective to perspective and experience.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is science and then there is science. Unfortunately, many of the requirements of the scientific knowledge/proof/experiments call for replicability and avoidance of anecdotal observations, that science operates in an isolated, narrowly framed world in many professions. What that sugests is that the larger truth is definitely overlooked, instead all we talk about is observable, replicable, overly simplified version of the truth.

      Huge difference between mathmetical, biological sciences and social sciences in terms of capturing the truth.

      Delete
    2. I'm talking pure math and analytic sciences like physics and quantum mechanics. Social sciences are "sciences". Something else completely.

      Delete



  24. Walking on The Tightrope

    Walking on The tightrope, floor is far below,

    Walking with a tender step, toe in front of toe,

    Walking on the tightrope,

    Balance, lest you sway

    Walking on the tightrope, harder day by day

    Walking on the tightrope, dreams have reached a crawl.

    You are at the very end and you can't walk at all.




















    ReplyDelete

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