Sunday, June 17, 2012

Song: You've really got a hold on me

I like this song, particularly since my friend has described sociopaths as "people you like but wish you didn't."



I don't like you but I love you
See that I'm always thinking of you
Oh, oh, oh, you treat me badly
I love you madly

You've really got a hold on me
You've really got a hold on me, baby

I don't want you but I need you
Don't want to kiss you but I need you
Oh, oh, oh, you do me wrong now
My love is strong now

You've really got a hold on me
You've really got a hold on me, baby

I love you and all I want you to do
Is just hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me

I want to leave you, don't want to stay here
Don't want to spend another day here
Oh, oh, oh, I want to split now
I just can quit now

You've really got a hold on me
You've really got a hold on me, baby

I love you and all I want you to do
Is just hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me

You've really got a hold on me
You've really got a hold on me

128 comments:

  1. FIRST suckaz! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. (clapping for the retard so he doesn't feel like a retard)^

    Hahaha

    great song btw :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm a she, retard. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, a M.E.tard, Gorgonzola. ;)

      Delete
    2. Sure, okay so you're not a retard because you're a female and I didn't care enough to find out before my comment.

      That's outstanding logic.

      Delete
    3. Shut the fuck up, Sasha.

      Delete
  4. Screamin Jay Hawkins - I Put A Spell On You
    elvis costello i want you
    way better

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes yes to the first.

      Screamin Jaw Hawkins was one of the best things that ever existed.

      I Put a Spell on You

      Fucking incredible performance.

      Delete
    2. But Diamanda Galás' version of the song gives him a run for his money.

      I Put a Spell on You

      Delete
    3. nina simone does2

      Delete
  5. Great song ME!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=FCj_C-Yb3xI

    ReplyDelete
  6. These songs that ME posts really aren't to do with sociopathy, however, he just interprets them that way.

    ReplyDelete
  7. reluctant magnetism,

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh well, songs are about human nature, good songs at least. And we all are a tiny bit sociopathic, and socios after all are humans, and there is really no big difference although there might be some. East of Eden is all about the socios inside everyone, the real socio feeling lonely like the others, the others feeling lonely like the socio, etc. Change the label "socio" for "lack of love and human understanding" and then you've got music, literature and most works of art most current theme.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I want to ask you a few questions. One is about having a relationship with someone with low empathy i.e my mother/ a Mal Narc. I see, from talking to you all, that she cannot GET empathy. There is no point beating a person down for a deficit. It would be like beating down a handicapped person because he could not run a marathon.

    I am building up to talking to her, again. If I call up and blast her for being who she is, what good will that do?

    OTOH, I need to be as strong as I am on here he he

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As a sociopath with a poisonous mother I can tell you blasting her will do you know good. Just stay away from her. When you catch yourself with lingering affections for her just tell yourself she is incorrigible and remind yourself of all the reasons you know this to be true.

      Delete
    2. Thanks!! I have been away for 7 months. Once, I truly understood what no empathy looked like, I cut ties.

      Delete
    3. ask six why in a rowJune 17, 2012 at 9:48 AM

      you will only resolve the whole shit once you understand her point of view. and without confronting her you have no idea what that is, you are living in your personal truth, afraid to see her truth. you have to ask the why question. and keep asking why again once she thinks explained. keep at it six times.

      here is an example:
      1- why did you wear your green hat today?
      -because my red hat was dirty.
      2-why didn't you wear the yellow one then?
      -my sister had borrowed the yellow one.
      3-why not the pink then?
      -pink is very light, does not feel warm.
      4-why do you need to feel warm, it's pretty hot.
      -I suffer from ... and need to be extra warm.

      So there. you got the truth in 4 why questions. typically within 6 you get the truth. try.

      Delete
    4. Why can't you simply let go of your mother and move on. I don't say that you should or can forget what she did, but you won't change the past, so get over it and find some new, beutiful things, that would make you happy, so you wouldn't think about her.
      YOUR MOTHER ISN'T WORTHY FOR YOU TO BE SAD!

      Delete
    5. Yes, Mee. I am endeavoring to do just that! xx

      Delete
  10. This is going to be controversial to say on here, but I want to share some insights that came to me, as I help a g/f who is in a relationship with a sociopath. He is crossing the line to hurting her. For her, it is not "fun" anymore, as far as sadistic play, you could say. He has crossed the line to physically hurting her, in a serious way.

    As she was telling me about it, I had some flashes of insight that I will share with you. I would like your take on it.

    One is that when this guy felt attached, he had to punish her for his OWN feeling of attachment/love/bonding. He was angry at her that HE felt the vulnerability of caring.

    That was one insight I had.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The other insight( which I have heard on here, so it is not new) is that he feels compelled to degrade her, to the degree in which she will take it. It is a compulsion and automatic kind of action, on his part. He just will degrade more and more until the person is a used up paper towel. When that happens, he will scorn her for BEING used.

      I wonder if his attachment to her is what is making him do this, in part, as he can't stand to be attached to anyone. He must destroy anyone whom he feels an attachment to, as attachment is associated with so much pain. He is angry at her for "putting" him in that sort of a vulnerable position of caring for her.


      Those are my insights.

      Delete
    2. I think that could be partly right, seen from the outside; I imagine he doesn't see it like that unless he's exceptionally self-aware.

      Delete
    3. Forgot to add - whatever you do don't share your opinion on this with her. She'll take it as proof that he can be reached, and that her love can save him if she can just be strong enough.

      Delete
  11. If you see a man with am empty baby stroller, can you automatically asume he's a pedophile?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What does that have to do with anything?

      Delete
  12. I'd like to make today a day of appreciation and celebration.

    As much as I have made cases of counter arguments, disgust, etc. overall I have come to appreciate SW more than any club I've ever been associated with.

    Looking back I realize I have always been on the judgmental side, and somehow SW has convinced me that I should learn to accept and see the good that comes from all kinds.

    I had no problem seeing this in nature, animals, etc. but clearly have been failing in doing the same with people.

    Getting off a high horse is a healthy feeling, I used to say I love humanity (as in abstract/ideal form) and now I have every intention to love people as they are.

    This does not mean that I'll allow hurt, come to think of it, I could only love if I don't allow hurt, so that means time to take full responsibility and not hide behind 'humanity.' I also made too many stupid heroic attempts at direct cost to me under the illusion of trying to save others, and time to stop all that as well.

    In the song above it says I don't like you but I love you, I don't want you but I need you. This reminds me one ex bf complaining 'you don't need me,' 'you don't let me love you,' and my telling him 'I want you, why is that not enough?' I used to think that he was sociopathic but the more we lately discussed narcissism I now realize he fits the narcissism more than sociopathy. In one narc article the words 'you don't let me love you' are explicitly related to narcs, unfuckingbelievable that I sure was given those words (in writing, too) and I had no idea what this guy was trying to say. I still don't, does anyone? Why does a narc say that?

    Anyway, I am one of those who believe ME is a woman, but a lot of people also believe ME is a man. Amazingly, I would have never thought of wishing her a happy Mother's Day (don't see her as the maternal type, I suppose) but I'd like to tell her happy Father's Day for all the male/rational/committed-to-one-page-a-day-on-her-blog attributes.

    I extend the same Happy Father's Day wishes to all the males and mannish females of the SW (including myself in that list).

    ReplyDelete
  13. I've frequently noticed that M.E. seems to discuss her 'sociopahty' with friends as if it is just some harmless preference.

    M.E. isn't a sociopath, she's a very intelligent girl with some nasty tendencies, simply a bit more aware of them because of her psychological knowledge.

    A true sociopath living a 'sociopahtic lifestyle' (=seriously screwing people) can't discuss his or her sociopathy as if it was some harmless food preference. You have to hide your 'true self' the whole time. Act like sheep, be friendly and enjoy your endless amount of masks and the power it gives you over people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not all sociopaths are assholes. Only the ones who feel they're not winning until someone else is losing.

      Delete
    2. I am not saying that you are wrong, but then I think about it, what's the point in hiding your identity? You will certainly hide yourself if you don't know that you are a sociopath. But then you know why you act in a particular way...
      Also telling some of your friends about your problem is a good way to manipulate them, because they will think that you are open with them. They will know that they can't trust you, but they will trust you, confused people are controled easier :) and you could drop the act near them.

      Sometimes I wonder, what would happen, if I would open up to some people (not family members, of course). As I see it, it wouldn't change anything, because I would still be the same Mee after telling it.

      P.S., acording to you, no sociopath would be in this blog too, because here people reveal themselves.

      Delete
    3. Well it is a way of protecting yourself, but are people really that dangerous?
      Being secretive is not the main symptom. As I see it, sociopaths are secretive, because they can't emphatize, so they don't feel the need to open up, but, logicly thinking, there's no harm here.

      "Hey, dude, I am a sociopath, I view you as an object, I would let you die unless helping you would be enterntaining, I will manipulate you to get what I want, want to grab some beer?"

      What would an empath say to this? :)

      Delete
    4. @anon
      There's no winner without a loser, like there's no sweet without sour. Lacking or extreme low empathy will almost always result in being an asshole. And I'm proud to be one, it's a privilege of the strong.

      @Mee
      First of all this blog is anonymous, so there's no such thing as 'outing yourself' in here. There's no way you can out yourself to people in your immediate surroundings, unless they have no proper understanding of sociopathy. Btw it would be pointless for me to share my life and feelings with other people, I left behind so many ruined lifes and my life has been so surrealistic that they wouldn't believe my stories, they would think I'm a delusional narcissist in need of attention. I make them see what they want to see, a good and decent guy, that's why I left so many people behind me totally bewildered and their social compass broken. My worldview, my world, my - arbitrary - rules, my pleasure, my superiority. Again, that's a privilege of the strong.

      Delete
    5. "they would think I'm a delusional narcissist in need of attention"

      Uh-huh...

      Delete
    6. Sorry, I didn't ment that you have to share your feelings and life stories with others, but there's no need to be paranoid. Well my mother would call special services after the closest our conflict after I would suggest her that I might be a sociopath (she would buy it 100%), but what could a friend do? Stop socializing with me? So what? Actually I have no idea what would I do after I would reveal myself and what danger could it bring (except the one above).

      Delete
    7. Mee said...
      "Hey, dude, I am a sociopath, I view you as an object, I would let you die unless helping you would be enterntaining, I will manipulate you to get what I want, want to grab some beer?"

      What would an empath say to this? :)


      are you buying?

      Delete
  14. Mee, you are very young and naive. You jump around like a baby donkey who kicks up into the air and thinks he is a bad ass-kicking mule.

    You are cute, and you have no idea SW lets you get away with a lot of stuff you say. You are our sweet baby.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, he is our sweet baby.

      Delete
    2. Awwwwww :) a lil cute socio donkey, to be exact :D

      I noticed this, I appreciate and kind of like it, but you can correct me when I'm wrong, after all, I came here to learn.

      Love ya all!:)

      Delete
    3. Keep playing up that cuteness factor, Mee. I told you it works. :p

      Delete
    4. I wish that you would have been my mom, Raven. When I would probably be catching butterflies all day instead of being here. And if something would go wrong I would end up being a sociopath, which isn't a very bad thing anyway :)

      My narc mother always wanted for me to be perfect, but never told me how. One your advice caused a bigger impact than all the years with her!

      Delete
    5. MeeJune 17, 2012 10:16 AM
      Why can't you simply let go of your mother and move on...

      find some new, beutiful things, that would make you happy, so you wouldn't think about her.

      YOUR MOTHER ISN'T WORTHY FOR YOU TO BE SAD!

      Delete
    6. Ha ha :)
      I wouldn't care about her, but I live with her, I am not sad, I'm disgusted, she is the most pathetic person I have ever seen and she will probably do everything to kick me out after my father will die unless I'll worship her and be a slave, anyway.
      I'm irritated by her, can't stand her, but I laugh, ha ha :D
      Shallow emotions ftw!

      Delete
    7. why do you live with her? move out!!

      someone at work was telling me about friends of theirs whose son still lives at home at 40. jobless, life-less, ruined.

      apparently as a kid he never got to have candles on his birthday cake because his mother thought they were too dangerous. ...can only imagine what else she thought was too dangerous.

      Delete
    8. Lol, I'm a bit too young to move out :) , still need to abuse my parents and right now my father protects me :)

      Delete
    9. Lol, sounds like your father needs to move out, too?

      Delete
    10. Your mother should really see that the marriage is already over. I hate it when women keep hanging on.

      Delete
    11. Then she would loose 2 potential slaves. She tried to enslave my father, then she realised that she isn't able to do it and started to put more pressure on me. Silly narc :(

      Delete
    12. She's only a slave master if you two allow it. Are
      you really sure that Dad is an angel in this scenario?

      Delete
    13. There are no angels here. My potential narc mom has worth issues, wants to control everyone, like she was controled. Father was raised by a person, who, according to my mom, is a two faced master manipulator...
      And I used their issues. It's funny that my mommy tries to rule me with shame, witch I don't have :)

      Delete
  15. About this article: maybe, that hold on the victim is "revenge." The narcissist, sociopath got away with some awful mean stuff and just maybe the victim would like to see
    them nailed to the wall? Just saying..........

    ReplyDelete
  16. I think many people on SW put each PD in a separate box when they are on a continuum.
    I think people rag on Narcs as if Narcs are a separate animal, distinct and worse than other PDs. It is healthier to be a Narc than a sociopath, as the Narc is closer to reality than the sociopath. I am not ragging on anyone. I just think it is an artificial distinction and makes for a dishonest group think for SW. That is my 2 cents. I am open to disagreement.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So you don't think that narcs are funny and annoying?

      Delete
  17. I finally had my snapping point. It was not a big thing that made me snap. It was a little thing, actually, but I am not taking shit from anyone. I don't mean it, in an aggressive way, just that I have fucking had it being everyone's bitch.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This happened in the span of an 1 hour and 15 minutes?

      Delete
    2. You guys have been really helping me to see myself. I appreciate it, a lot!

      Delete
    3. ^And this is the tough bitch from 3:33? hehe

      Delete
    4. What is 3:33? Dare I ask?

      Delete
  18. Shutup you whore. Until you confront your mother you are nothing but talk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. confronting takes a lot of energy for very little reward... other than the satisfaction you get after ranting like a lunatic. :)

      Delete
    2. I confronted both parents several times. It is never enough.

      Delete
    3. Most of the time I only need one confrontation with someone. After that they are either with me or they get out of my way.

      You have to make a point. Don't just throw around accusations of how they wronged you. That's just weak. You are showing them that they affected you. You need to get them back and tear them down until they know that they are smaller than you.

      Delete
    4. I hacked off her thumbs and that was mildly satisfying.

      Delete
    5. They should know they affected you. They should know they affected you so much that this is the reason you have hate in your heart for them and the reason their friend's children are with them on Father's Day and you are not with them. They should feel your hate burning in their eyes like lemon juice.

      Delete
    6. Why? If someone showed me that I affected them I would keep pushing that button over and over until they cracked. Showing where you are weak is like handing your enemy a loaded gun.

      Delete
    7. Anonymous 1016:
      The people that hurt you that badly in the first place would probably get off on knowing how much their abuse effected you. It means that even when they officially stop, you are still being hurt by them. Tremendously satisfying. Do't give them that joy. I'd recommend to laugh in their face, tell them to go fuck themselves with a pineapple, then walk away forever.

      Delete
    8. Why? If someone showed me that I affected them I would keep pushing that button over and over until they cracked. Showing where you are weak is like handing your enemy a loaded gun.

      So your saying that the person should never show that you crossed a line with them?
      What shpuld they do, cut off all contact?

      I can't see anyway of resoning with a sociopath, it will all be turned around on the other person and be used against them.

      Delete
  19. If you are so angry, everything you do/say has a certain flavour.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's why the masks are important. You go to privacy to rage and slip into something more comfortable in company.

      Delete
    2. Anger is useful in public. Humiliating people in front of others is a good way to keep them under control.

      Delete
    3. In MODERATION.

      Delete
    4. Not not moderation. Binges. Anger binges. Just go ballistic and calm right back down so that they feel like they are walking on eggshells. Make people nervous to cross you and eager to please.

      Delete
    5. Lol I thought that was a borderline thing.

      Delete
    6. No they cut their wrists and throw it in your face telling you that your killing them.

      Delete
    7. Not all. I don't do that. Only if they are the kind of people who are affected by guilt will I ever stoop to the level of showing a jackass they make me want to hurt myself.

      No one gets the power to kill myself but me.

      Delete
    8. That must be empowering for you

      Delete
    9. Idk I guess so. Ok I'll take it. :)

      Delete
    10. Binges. Anger binges. Just go ballistic and calm right back down so that they feel like they are walking on eggshells. Make people nervous to cross you and eager to please.

      Argh, you kill me. This is exactly what I am trying to STOP doing. Are you fully in control of your anger when you go ballistic?! Do you do "fly off the handle" in a purposeful and calculated manner? Is it just a show to manipulate others or do you really lose it?

      Delete
  20. It only takes energy when you don't have experience in being confrontational. The best time to start is now. If you want to be healthy mentally, you can't bottle stuff up and remain passive. Better to get off where you get mad at.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ^He/she is right.

      Delete
    2. someone bullied me at 16, im now 18 and it still affects me. do I give the person a meeting and beat him with a hammer ? honnest question ukan

      Delete
    3. Why do you need my permission?

      Delete
  21. i dont, im wondering if its going to set things right

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i want to humiliate the person that wronged me and make them feel like a worm and im tired of thinking about it, all this thinking is point less. i should take actions but once you go down that path you aint gonna change

      Delete
    2. No it won't, but it will be satisfying, unless that person will beat you back.

      Delete
    3. Letting someone bully you for two years is pathetic. You know what you need to do.

      Delete
    4. Also, you are not a sociopath, right?

      Delete
    5. not two years he bullied me for two months at 16. two years have passed now and im not bullied no more but it annoys me that he got away with it so i think about it

      Delete
    6. Why would you want to change from that path? What path do you walk on now? One of fear. One where fear dictates your entire life to the point of you being at the mercy of cruel people. It doesn't matter if you win or lose. It's the point that counts. I've lost several fights. People still fear me because they know I won't hesitate to get them back.

      Delete
    7. You were coping for 2 years and decided to avenge now, why?!

      Delete
    8. Tell me more about this guy, anon. At least, you know what needs to be done, all you need now is some courage. What you're about to do is important, because it's going to decide how your life will be. The path of a victim or someone who fought. You're 18, not 40, everything's possible.

      Delete
    9. Good words, Extremity!

      Delete
  22. I'm talking about the parents, not an enemy who knows damn well they were responsible. Most often these idiot parents aren't aware and take no responsibility until they are forced to reflect.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ^ 10:37 in the wrong place. Should have been up after Ukan 10:23

      Delete
    2. Yeah, we were actually talking about Monica's mum, who fingerbanged her when she was a little girl and called her worthless her whole life. You don't show weakness to people like that. She would turn around and systematically break her down.

      Delete
    3. So what do you suggest? Because I'd want to light that bitch on fire.

      Delete
    4. Cut her tongue out and send her off to a nursing home where the aides are disgruntled.

      Delete
    5. 10:51, don't forget to burn the whole house after that, so it would look like an accident. And don't leave anything, that could lead to you.

      Delete
    6. Cut it out Mee. You would make a terrible criminal. Just so you know it's pretty hard to pass off an arson as an accident. Arson investigators are very good at detecting the location and the cause of a fire.

      Delete
    7. Death would be too good for Monica's mum.

      Delete
    8. I would shoot her up with heroine. I'd make her an addict so she'd humiliate herself for drugs. I'd send over sadistic dealers to show Monica's pictures and have her beg for forgiveness and say only Monica has the power to give the say whether she gets another dose. It would go on and on.

      Delete
    9. Well that had to be the silliest thing i've read all day. I can really see drug dealers complying to this

      Delete
    10. There are sadistic types in the drug dealing business just like any other.

      Delete
    11. 11:15, too much people involved, I think :)

      Delete
  23. I think if someone sexually abused me and called me worthless I would want to set them on fire too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah ha,So you do have the capacity to understand someones feelings.

      Delete
  24. I am so touched that you guys cared enough to write these things to me. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Can you feel the love?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Be careful. We don't want it to turn around. You never know on SW.

      Delete
  26. It isn't about socio, stupid.

    ....................../´¯/)
    ....................,/¯../
    .................../..../
    ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
    ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
    ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
    .........\.................'...../
    ..........''...\.......... _.·´
    ............\..............(
    ..............\.............\...

    ReplyDelete
  27. The only way to stop a psycho/demon is to walk away and not give any energy,positive or negative,reset your life to the point before you met her/him

    ReplyDelete

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