Thursday, June 28, 2012

Modeling the success of cheaters

It was hilarious to me reading some of the responses to the just world fallacy post.  A lot of people really struggled with the gross inaccuracy of the phrase "cheaters never win." I stumbled upon this Forbes article which concisely explains with mathematical modeling how it is that cheaters win:


I want to make sure I say that there is a more elemental reason why meritocracy produces a corrupt ruling class and it is this:

Cheaters may almost never win but, given equal opportunity and a large enough competition, the winners are almost always cheaters.

Why?

Well, no one cheats because they think if that even if they get away with it they will be worse off. No, they cheat because if they get away with it they will be better off. Cheaters are taking a gamble.

Even if the system is pretty good and the odds are stacked against the cheaters, if there are enough players then some of the cheaters will get away with it, nonetheless.

When they do they will gain an advantage. Now, imagine that life is a series of such competitions played over and over again. Each time some people will cheat and some will get away with it. Each time some will gain an advantage.

If the competition is immense, say it encompasses a country of 300 Million or a global population of 7 Billion, then by the Law of Large numbers some cheaters will be lucky enough to get away with it every single time. This means every single round they gain an advantage and slip ahead of the pack.

After enough rounds the front of the pack is completely dominated by cheaters.

That doesn't necessarily mean that cheating will always mean cheating will always pay off.  As the Forbes article concludes, "Lottery players almost always lose, but society’s biggest winners will almost always have made their money in the lottery."



234 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. You can't both be first dearies.

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    2. Are you kidding me a tie? This is the first I got this in all the years being here.

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    3. Lol. Well, in your defense, we haven't been playing for years.
      First comment should have to play the kink game until the next post... second gives them their word.

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    4. I wonder how close we were. We only had a span of as long as it takes me to type first on my tablet. :-)

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  2. Lol! Oh my god! We're the same person!

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  3. What's better than first? Cuz.. that's me. :D

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  4. My wife's old boss followed all the rules and was broke and up to his neck in credit card debt. A lot of my friends moved back in or never left their mums. The others are living in a poor area or locked away not to be seen again. It's hard out there. It seems like the only way out was cheating. I've tried playing by the rules briefly it's just too fucking hard. I don't know how people can stand co workers and bosses or hours they have to arrive at work in the morning. When to leave, when to talk, and when to think. The workplace just seems like a trap and just when you are about to win they take it all away just to make you start over. The climb is so so slow.

    Not for me. I like living fast, rising fast, and crashing fast. You get caught a few times, but if you learn quick and dont let it affect you, then UKan make a good career cheating your way through life.

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    Replies
    1. You are so very lucky you followed up that cheating comment with this one, jerk face. :-P
      Although admittedly I don't know what the article says, and they may have given you some justification, but still.

      I love you squish

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    2. Every time Kany's talking to UKan via blog I imagine them both in separate rooms with laptops/gadgets on their laps hahah! You look so stupid when you do that, Kany. It's obvious you do it for the public, since UKan's fucking there haha! Well, I'm the public and I think it's one of the most idiotic behaviours I've seen on this blog. And that's saying something! Fishy squish hahaha

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    3. lol. it makes me wonder if he's a foul smelling obese person

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  5. I don't know how people can stand co workers and bosses or hours they have to arrive at work in the morning. When to leave, when to talk, and when to think. The workplace just seems like a trap and just when you are about to win they take it all away just to make you start over. The climb is so so slow.

    Well goddamn if that ain't the truth. I stopped having real jobs about 4-5 years ago because otherwise I would have killed someone or myself. That is just no way to live.

    I was just talking about this the other day with a friend of mine that has been working as an insurance agent for several years. She sounds so trapped, and is unhappy to not have time or energy to do what she really wants to do, but she doesn't see a way out of it.

    Meanwhile, she picked me up in a brand spanking new Fiat... which completely died on the way to the restaurant and had to be towed.... but anyway.

    The markup percentage of my business is completely ridiculous... but people pay it, so. I cheat and lie all the time to my customers (I assume all business owners do this to some extent) but my reputation is still immaculate.

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    Replies
    1. Juicy. That's what I like to hear. Cheat, lie, and steal!

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    2. Hm. Couple issues with this. Frankly it makes me think you haven't had a socially/personally significant occupation. If you're riding a desk as middle management or a peon somewhere, ya, that's going to be your experience... but if you've dedicated yourself to something with significant enough purpose than there is a lot of room for free thought and generating ideas.

      When to talk? When to think? Where the hell do you work?

      I do agree that it's kind of a pain in the ass having to get to work at a certain time, but we have flex time so I have at least some control of that... and by extension leave time.

      There's also the upside of a steady paycheck and benefits.

      Obviously, it's not for everyone and different people thrive in different environments in accordance with what is good for them. But, yeah, different strokes and all.

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    3. I dont have to deal with the customers anymore, but when I did I gave them excellent product. I still keep excellent product going down the line. Reputation is everything. People knew if they came to me they were going to have fun that night. No bunk shite ever. I was also the most expensive.

      The mark up that you can get away with in this business is ridiculous. Were talking over 300%. Some people who dipped their hand in the trade, but couldn't make it because they dipped in the product would come up and tell me, "I know how much you got it for give me a break you should sell it to me for less than that" like this is some fucking charity. I'd tell them to piss off they were not the customer I was looking for.

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    4. The feel of a schedule to me is when to think, when to talk, and who to do it for. I've gotten to a point now where I could pretty much never work for anyone unless I can state my opinions and make my own schedule. Give me deadlines, or let me give you times. I have to have my own pace or I go crazy. I'm so used to it now, too, I'm not sure I could go back if I wanted to.I like social obligation to an extent, but not people having authority over me that I haven't given them. And I won't listen to bosses that don't have sound reasoning behind what thy do. I'm not just some lemming you can bark orders to. Stuff you tell me better make sense.

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  6. Replies
    1. Just looked 'em up. They're lot cheaper than I had thought. I was thinking they were expensive or something. They are cute I guess, if you like cute dead things.

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    2. Lol. Wow. Were you a Goth in school?

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    3. Im sure she wasnt. She seems more of the under achieving burn out persuasion/secretly dorky with a lot conduct notices.

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    4. To me it reads kinda like "sure rabbits are adorable...when they're on fire with their heads chopped of."

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    5. Well that came across wrong. That was my sarcastic way of saying that I don't think they are so cute.

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    6. Medusa
      Don't do what Alter did, try to explain and rationalize yourself to people like Kany who get off on making people feel bad to make herself look better. Kany wants to bully you. Don't let her imho

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    7. Remember how pitiful David was with UKan. You have tinges of that with Kany You are subconsciously "trying" to repeat your earlier bullying. We all replay, here, with each other( and in all of life, actually)

      It is called is called repitition(sp) compulsion. We repeat again and again what has been programmed. We can see it in others, but is it very hard to see in oneself. I was doing that with Eden and you, about my mother.

      It will happen again and again until we become aware of it. No one could tell David, as he did not want to see it.

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    8. Shutup monica. Medusa can handle herself. Stop trying to put her at your level.

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    9. Wow, Medusa, seriously I was not trying to bring out anything that would make Monica call you on anything, and for that I'm sorry.
      Really, I didn't think it would ever get that far.

      Congratulations on the fiat. My mom doesn't like them either but I think they're cute. I like the stripeys!

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    10. Oh, I misread that she has the new fiat. I understand better why you don't think its cute now, never mind.

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    11. The car died and had to get towed.
      You said it was cute.
      She said if you like cute dead things.
      Why was that hard to understand?

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    12. I like watching Kany and Medusa beat each other up. They should just put those big mouthed whores in a cell together where they belong. Let them fight it out mal narc to mal narc.

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    13. Medusa seems like the most "non-whore" person in existence...

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    14. Sure buddy. Those two lesbians strut around here like they are running the place. They think they are the cream of the crop among women. They are trash and should be treated like it. I'm just here for the cat fight.

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    15. Neither one of them are whore-like in any way.

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    16. Says the biggest whore on here

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    17. Exactly. That's why I know the difference.

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    18. She would know than wouldn't she...
      and I thought Medusa and I were getting along in this thread. As I stated, I misread the car's ownership and confused the whole dead things comment. I imagined it a strange thing for someone to say about what I thought was her own car. Do they break frequently, or was it a lemon fluke?

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    19. "Exactly. That's why I know the difference." Awesome.

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  7. The chick on the commercial was.

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  8. The chick on the commercial was.

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  9. Hi I know this is off topic but I want to know how come with all the things in my life I didn't end up a sociopath?

    I have the awful abusive childhood, abandoned by my family, later adopted and in and out of therapy for years. I am very misanthropic due to not being able to relate to anyone and being shunned as a result. I lack empathy to an extent. I'm incapable of feeling love. The thing is I'm not charming, a habitual liar, or manipulative. I'm insecure but at the same time arrogant. I've been called a narcissist by people close to me because I'm self absorbed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You sound like a Mal Narc.

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    2. Most people are born a socio. Socios just have a different brain structure. You were just born normal. Sucks for you.

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    3. Why a mal narc and not just a regular narc?

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    4. Because with certain people, there are no shades of grey to Monica. They are either all good, or all bad.

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    5. Eden what's your diagnosis based on what I've written?

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    6. Eden
      I was brought up with a mother who saw everything in stark black and white. It is funny, but I remember the moment, I threw away my own thinking, on this.

      I was in my room, on a summer day. I was looking out the window and thinking, "Could my mother be THIS whacked? Could this lie about how she sees life be real?"

      Then, I thought that I was crazy and maybe a sociopath and she was right. From then on, I really could not think, freely. I took on her black and white thinking.

      So, you are 100% right that I was that way, when I got here.

      I am trying to throw it away, now.

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    7. I don't diagnose people. I leave that to the know it alls, around here. :D

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    8. Since when is black and white thinking the prime factor in determining whether one is a sociopath?

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    9. Black and white thinking is in every PD, as the person gets frozen, as does the thinking.

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    10. So those of us who have black and white thinking fit the category of "arrested development"? Black and white thinking is what children do.

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    11. Can you believe that the above Anons are Monica, too?
      I do.

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    12. Just more cow shit and horse shit

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    13. I am Monica for we are many.

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    14. And WHO called you a christian? LOL

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    15. You should've tried harder, obviously.

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    16. Monica, you'll do anything with your thinking to make it bad or worthless. I'm still ready to talk.

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    17. AnonymousJune 28, 2012 10:53 AM

      So those of us who have black and white thinking fit the category of "arrested development"? Black and white thinking is what children do.

      Exactly.

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    18. Monica, I came across this quote today and it occurred to me that it sounds like your mother.

      " The idea is that they destroy the ‘object’ that elicits these emotions.

      * A damaged object diminishes envy since the object no longer has qualities worth possessing.

      * A damaged object diminishes shame since the object can no longer threaten them as a source of humiliation."

      It's from a study on psychopathy by J. Reid Meloy

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    19. My mother encouraged looks, and education, but no separate identity. That was very humiliated, so I would not dare to have a sense of character, which would have allowed me to have a place in the world.

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  10. I don't understand what's wrong with 'cheating' Is it not just using your advantages to the fullest?

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  11. If they can't stop cheaters, cheating is fair game, no gets hurt, i get the higher score, faggot, Fuck You And Your Mama Too!

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    ReplyDelete
  12. More sage advice from Jose "fingerfuck" Javier.

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    Replies
    1. Bitch, you know those fucking fat, ugly, slow, smelly, stupid, fucked up, socios that bumble around getting in the way, clogging up any system like a huge pile of shit that won't flush down the toilet? That's you, bitch, so remember, Fuck You And Your Mamma Too, you little bitch faggot homo.

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    2. It's not even fun pushing your button lol. Go fuck yourself :)

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    3. M.E, can you add a 'Start a poll' widget? I'm wondering how many people would agree that Finger's Mama must have toilet trained him too harshly. All that shame, disgust with bodily functions ...

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    4. I love Finger.

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    5. Of course you do Monica. You have such excellent taste.

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    6. I like you, Eden. Didn't I say, last night, that we have a sisterly animosity?

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    7. Finger tells it like it is. He's a hero amongst the filth.

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    8. Unlike you, I'm not into hiding behind appearances, you bitch queer faggot fuck.

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    9. Wrong, whore.

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    10. I like being a whore.

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    11. Awesome, I'm glad SOMEONE here has found something they REALLY enjoy, which brings PLEASURE, and HAPPINESS, good for you, slut ;)

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    12. Does Finger remind anyone else here of Patrick Bateman from American Psycho somewhat in the way that he talks?

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    13. American Psycho was one cool-ass mother fucker, only trouble was he lacked compassion, too bad.

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    14. That was meant for anonymous 11:12.

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    15. I like when Bateman tells the girl "Ask me what I do for a living"

      Bateman: "I work in Murders and Executions"

      Girl: "So what's it like working in Mergers and Acquisitions?" lol

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    16. No he reminds me of that bullied kid that used to come here and get kicked around for weeks, Jason. He'd use that exact middle finger and start trying to talk tough even though he looked and acted like a fucking goober.

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    17. You're the only fucking goober here, fucking punk. You stupid wanabe gangster ass should be taken out and shot, you do no good for the planet earth at large. Remember Fuck You And Your Mama Too!

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    18. Further, you aren't even out of the UK, so stop trying to make it seem so.

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    19. I already got your number. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqwkQWzwIB4

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    20. Ha ha ha. Themes how did you miss this?

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    21. You're a bullied kid. Bullied by people like me and doomed to sit here day after day pissed off at my existence. Winner keep winning, finger, and losers like you just sit around crying about it crossing your fingers that we will fall.

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    22. Wrong. You're a black southerner, and I would beat you ass.

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    23. Yeah that's me. You are too clever for us finger. You finally figured it all out.

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    24. LOL Black Southerner

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    25. At least he uses intellect to argue. HAHA!

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    26. Actually, before I read UKan's comment, I had a flash of insight that this was Jason. Jason was friggin funny, too.

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  13. Is Machiavelli's "The Prince" a good guide to follow?

    I scored high on the Machiavellian test but have yet to read the book because I've been told it's just Political History and his methods are outdated.

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  14. Christians are true sociopaths. I met a pastor once who said if it wasn't for his belief in god he would rape and kill because without christianity morality doesn't exist. What a sick fuck.

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    Replies
    1. Well, without external structures and/or one's own conscience which was put into man by God, people would do all sorts of things. What does Christianity have to do with this? Your comment is very illogical, unless you were just trying to annoy people.

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    2. Where's the evidence that a person's conscience was put into man by God and not through natural means?

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    3. I agree, we're born with love, conscience and morality. It has nothing to do with society.

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    4. The Bible reveals, through study, that Adam and Eve did not have a conscience, as they did not need to. They did not know they were even separate from God. That is the metaphor to being naked and then having to cover themselves.

      When they disobeyed, the conscience entered man.

      It gets complicated to explain in one paragraph :P
      However, God put the conscience into man, after Adam and Eve disobeyed, according to the Bible Commentaries I have read( and which make sense to me)

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    5. So because it says so in some ancient book it's automatically considered fact?

      I understand what you're saying if it's true but why assume it's true?

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    6. "why assume it's true?"

      Because with a car manual (Bible) and a mechanic (Preacher), all there's left to do is just drive (let everyone else tell you what to be).

      With one exception: Every now and then you take your car to the car wash, or lube shop (Church) to cleanse all the dirt (sin) away... And then Holy Cannoli, it's like good as new!

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    7. I don't go to church, first of all. I can't take all the fake people and fake preachers. I have a few friends who believe like I do. That is good enough. A Church means a gathering together of two or more people who believe in God. You don't need a church to find God.


      The Bible proves itself, by the Prophecy. It tells the future, in detail. No other book does that.

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    8. You don't go to church because you're a know it all, snob, and you like it better when you are free to re-define everything to your own liking. Just like you try to re-define what science had discovered about PDs. You like to control how all the information is received, and how you fit into that picture.

      Not too mention that you are a recluse.

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    9. One problem, the prophecies are self fulfilling.

      For example, the prophecies Jesus supposedly fulfilled were written after the fact.

      Bible is fallacious.

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    10. That isn't the metaphor of being naked. That goes back to the knowledge and eating the apple, and their conscience wasn't mentioned in Adam and eve. That's why god asks, "who told you you were naked" because sin had caused them to know it. So theoretically conscience is the tear between being tempted to obey Satan and a desire to follow god. It is a question we must answer in our own lives. To abandon graces of heaven to be able to know and experience, or to follow god, and aspire for ignorance in every way.

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    11. I find it funny that no religous books are ever written by the god it supposedly represents. It seems that gods always need messengers. I can't believe people actually go for that bollocks. Hey guys! God gave me orders that you have to follow I wrote them all down in this book! Yeah, sure.

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    12. I will tell you a future one. How about that?

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    13. Ok I am willing to tell you a specific future event I would have no way of knowing that is a specific place on the earth-- one city. Then what?

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    14. I stumbled across the bible channel in Cayman, and they had this catfish, meek ugly liberal guy saying "I believe dinosaurs existed, and the world was created by science" to which the handsome dashing Christian said, "psh, pehehe, you actually believe that? That SCIENCE can explain things like that? Hahahaha. How do you explain what you feel?"
      I laughed my ass off because it was one of the most ignorant and consist ant defenses I'd heard from every Christian who defends the bible. You cannot contradict science and discredit things people can prove to support your own theories and expect followers that are educated or intelligent. People that subject themselves to ignorance by scoffing at truth earn no respect ever in my opinion.

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    15. One day... in a symbolic amount of time, here, in Nazareth, a man will be born that will conduct himself in such a way as will be a self fulfilling prophecy, as you will know him when you see him by several symbols, loosely interpreted to mean we're all saved!

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    16. Nope--the FUTURE....... with details of geographical place--actual city and country--a future event which will be political and seen by everyone on the news

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    17. I'm interested, Bible Anon. Make me a believer.

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    18. Bible Anon

      I don't think they know the answer or the city.

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    19. OK Write this down, you all. Write down this date. I know this from the Bible--only!

      Damascus, Syria will be destroyed until all that remains is rubble.

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    20. I know many more prophecies but they will happen, later, as all the key players are coming on the scene to form alliances such as Iran with Russia against Israel. China will come on the scene as one to attack Israel, too, but that is in the future. there will be a nuclear exchange, but that is later, too.

      The clearest prophecy I can tell you, now, as far as place and an event is Syria.

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    21. When? Every city ends up destroyed eventually.

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    22. I think Hal Lindsey (sp) was the first to write a
      book about prophecy in that it became very popular
      and he stated Russia will be the key player in this
      new events. I commend him.

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    23. I see. What year was it prophecies to happen. You said you had dates and times... not The FUTURE! That doesn't count because every city will fall at some point in... The FUTURE! They're all vague symbols, which are guarenteed to come true at some point. I can predict something right now... the united states will fall and its borders will be redrawn. Europe will be torn economically and military advancements will change its position in the world. China and kinda will rise and life will never be the same again. Guran-fucking-tee ya every single one of those will come true. How about further in the future. Battles will ensue over new religions when space is no longer a new frontier. God particle will be found and people will transform to their creator, and life will end where it began.
      See how these are starting to get interesting? Now let's try more vague.
      Souls will pour forth into the land of the sinner, and this sin will spread across the world in the guise of benevolence and altruism. Children will be torn from their parents and the lands will shrivel by the reapers of its bounty!
      see, also true!

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    25. China and India. Not kinda.

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    26. I don't think India will be a player in End time Prophecy. I don't have the specific date on Damascus, but the place and event should be good enough for you, eh?

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    27. Yes, check out Hal Lindsey. He is one of my sources as I studied him quite extensively. Grant Jeffries is excellent, too.
      Dr Arnold Fructenbaum is for the real intellectuals, of which many of you are.

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    28. I think she means that China and India will economically rise?

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    29. Well, I am just talking about the players in the End Time Prophecy. I hope people check out these resources. Once can compare current events to the Bible and it really builds faith.

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    30. Your prophecy is not true, Kany. Many cities will not be destroyed. People, like you, who want to find fault with obvious information such as this, will find fault if God appeared to you. The disciples were told to shake the dirt from their feet and move on, in cases like this.

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    31. No. I think I just told you why it isn't good enough.

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    32. When you're playing with infinity, which you mere mortal cannot understand, spake the lord, all cities will fall.

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    33. And great, let's all move on than, shall we. :-)

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    34. Bible Anon

      I think Jesus did the same and shook the dirt from his feet and moved on, right?

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    35. Not exactly, Anon.
      Kany, you are too arrogant to examine with an open mind, Your loss. Bible Anon goes to people who appreciate him ~

      Delete
    36. Bible Anon - Eastern Orthodoxy is the One True Faith. Leave behind your wrong ways and save your soul.

      Delete
    37. I am open minded, that's why I'm unaccepting of the truth you proclaim.

      Delete
    38. Bible Anon

      I think he did at certain times. I will look.

      Delete
    39. Bible Anon,
      You state something incredibly vague; a city will be destroyed at some time in the future. Then you attack Kanny when she rightly says this is nowhere near good enough proof.
      It all comes down to faith, right. You must believe and therefore see the truth in everything in the bible. The bible is so full of contradictions that you are capable of finding something to support your views and expect all to follow. Believe everything I say, or else! Only the true believers will be allowed into the kingdom of heaven. How many raptures have we lived through already without noticing? Man has been crying "I know the future and the end is upon us" since long before Jesus came. There are always very convenient excuses for why it didn't happen this time.
      Kanny's predictions are not only more educated and specific, but believable too. Far better than any the bible has to offer.
      So Kanny is either a true prophet of the Lord or a reincarnation of Nostradamus!

      Delete
    40. Yes Anon 3:26

      Jesus did walk away from certain people. He did from the Pharisees and Sadduces, for two I can remember,

      Delete
    41. Green Eyes
      The road to Everlasting life is narrow. The road to destruction is broad. I don't really like to be in this position of talking about this, as it is not pleasant for me, but for the one person who may hear and heed this, I do. I know it will fall on deaf ears for the majority of people, here, and everywhere <3

      Delete
    42. Why didn't you respond to this? I was waiting.

      "One problem, the prophecies are self fulfilling.

      For example, the prophecies Jesus supposedly fulfilled were written after the fact.

      Bible is fallacious."

      Delete
    43. I am telling you something that WILL happen and you all say that is bullshit, too. What do you want? Me to pull a truck out of my ass?

      Delete
    44. How fast you take the bait!
      And how fast you actually demonstrate that you are a hypocritical sinner. What a bad bad cult leader you are.

      Delete
    45. ...I just wanted to see your explanation of the re-post anon 4:23 .......as that is a superior point. Pull a truck out of your ass? How mature.

      Delete
    46. And how is Bible Anon a sinner?

      And you REALLY want to talk about maturity?

      Delete
    47. Cult leader? haha fat chance.

      Delete
    48. LOLOL Cult leader

      Delete
    49. I didn't sway you were full of shite, I said the prophecy proves nothing. I believe Damascus will fall to ruin. Why wouldn't it? But I then proceeded to tell you how that proves nothing.
      And thank you green eyes. Welcome back.

      Delete
    50. I should also say it is not god's side that calls for open minds. That would be on the side of the commie liberal demons, taking science as fact and disgracing their moral sense everywhere!

      Delete
    51. Do I have to go out of my home to be a cult leader?

      Delete
    52. The sky is red.
      No, the sky is blue.
      No! The sky is red.
      You can see it appears blue.
      God says it's red so it's red.
      Believe it, no matter how illogical, and your soul will be saved. Right?

      Delete
    53. "Do I have to go out of my home to be a cult leader?"



      Not at all. Just start a cult online. It would probably be even more effective that way, since you can have the Oz thing going for you. Be faceless, and choose a name that gives you that's suggestive of something magical, element. Like: Eurus Badria, Paiva Nairi. or Sea Priestess.

      Not only would you be able to reach a greater number of people this way, but you also wouldn't have the pesky temptation to molest all your cult follower's prepubescent children.

      Good luck child. :)

      Delete
    54. That isn't always pesky when it comes to cults.

      Delete
    55. Bible Anon's CultJune 28, 2012 at 5:44 PM

      If you want to sign up for Bible Anons cult which combines accurate Scripture with humor, put your name below, and he will contact you.

      Delete
    56. Start Bible anon. a blog. That would be a riot.

      Delete
    57. Yes, it would be funky humor with real Bible Understanding. Thank you for the thought xx

      Delete
    58. Indeed, as you cannot expand beyond vague statements when asked, nor defend when a strong point is made to conclude that the bible is fallacious.

      Delete
    59. Anon 6:25

      I guess you wouldn't know the verse in the bible that
      states "You don't throw your pearls before swine."
      :}

      Delete
    60. Yep, well, God tells us to be ready to answer questions and expostulate the Bible. I don't like to do it, but maybe there is one soul out there I can touch, so I keep on.
      I will whack with humor when someone gets outta hand, though, so I am kind of a new gig. You never know what you will get-- a Bible verse or kicked in the balls.

      Delete
    61. And you failed, here.

      Delete
    62. Don't throw stones from a glass castle.

      Delete
    63. You can't touch any soul in the way you are describing if you can't even produce a constructive argument.

      Delete
    64. ^My castle is all brick and a great foundation!

      Delete
    65. Anon 7:03

      And you think you speak for all souls? LOL And you think you are the one that decides what a constructive argument is?

      Delete
    66. Is it a proverb? Something like to argue a fool is folly?

      Delete
    67. I don't really care.

      Delete
    68. God tells you to expostulate the bible, and to argue a fool is folly, so I suppose you get to choose there. That isn't a contradiction. The word of god is uncontradictory.

      Delete
  15. To Alterego
    You have to hit the Load more button to see your comments, sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Sometimes I have to hit it two or three times.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. and how do you delete a comment? thanks.

      Delete
    2. you can't if you posted as an anon

      Delete
  17. and how do you delete a comment?

    ReplyDelete
  18. a recent slip up with my borderline sister. It was in front of the kids. Hers included. The children were all holding on to each other, crying

    Brought Eden's quote over from yesterday.

    This sounds similar to what prompted me to sever all contact with my mother. It was several years ago, at my sister's place, in front of her kids. I physically attacked my mother (again), and they were distraught. Now I think about it, the birth of my sister's first child also prompted one of my major attempts to reinvent myself. I wanted to be able to be a positive part of the child's life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ell
      Thank you for the info you posted on my mother. It was right on! x

      Delete
    2. I don't generally take an interest in other people's kids. Not even my nieces and nephews. Every now and then, I'll step it up, and give some small piece of myself to them... but it's all and act. I've always felt a cold indifference to all of them, and there are 8 of them.

      I respect that my daughter is very close to her cousins though.

      Delete
    3. What set you off that you should attack your mother?

      Delete
    4. The reinvention was because of the negative impact that would eventually affect them. I do care about them. It is in a very detached or maybe just intellectual way, but I must care if I make efforts that are, partly at least, for their benefit.

      What set me off. I'd only seen her a few times in the years prior. We argued, as usual. She got all emotional and wailing, Why do you hate me so much?. As I tried to articulate why, I slipped into 'oops space' and wham. ... oops

      Delete
    5. My mother encouraged looks, and education, but no separate identity

      And that sounds a lot like my mother.

      Delete
    6. Really, Ell? My mother was so into my looks. She would take me shopping all the time for clothes, make-up etc
      Then when I wanted to develop personal character such as be a virgin until I got married, she mocked me and humiliated me. I set out to lose my virginity in a one night stand, to show her, even though she never knew.

      Delete
    7. hell. I just reread that quote I left for Monica in light of the one I took from her comment. It does explain the way my mother is too. Fuck. I never thought I would ever understand that bitch. What a twisted irony.

      Delete
    8. It's pretty ironic - that this "place" seems to work better than therapy

      Delete
    9. (my last was cross-posted with yours, Monica).
      In the last few now illuminated minutes, I've identified envy as a behind a lot of my mother's shit. I'm going to have to reflect quite a bit on this.

      Delete
    10. Yep, the real place she got me was my desire to have character.
      My mother wanted me to be like an animal, it seems. I have always been a gracious kind of person, and popular.

      She told me I was a fake because I didn't say things like "You are a fat ass" to people.

      Delete
    11. was your mother a narcissist monica?

      Delete
    12. It sounds like your mother is like most parents, where she just wanted you to be more like her like a drunk wants people to drink. She doesn't understand your strengths so she tried to change them... though it also sounds like she harbors a bitterness for her own life that she's trying to project into yours. As a result she's made a martyr of you, so she thinks your weak and dispicable. So you find people who also value your strengths reversedly..

      Delete
    13. How did she mock you? Can you think of an instance where she humiliated you for developing character?

      Delete
    14. . That was very humiliated, so I would not dare to have a sense of character, which would have allowed me to have a place in the world.

      Blame! You're blaming your mother for the fact that you have no place in the world because it takes weight off of the shame you feel for not having a place in the world. You're mother can't help you anymore. Its up to younow. You have to grow up and accept your choices. You choose to have no place because you separate yourself by elevating your moral compass beyond reach of anyone elses

      Delete
    15. You want to go up against me, do it in here. I won't back down. You can have at it, you sniveling little coward. You might get away with that shit when it comes to Monica, but not with me.

      (that's not directed at you MrsKany)

      Delete
    16. is monica's mother a narcissist? anyone answer?

      Delete
    17. Why would you even have to ask that anonymous? She only make references about her "Mal Narc" mother, at least twice daily. If not more.

      Delete
    18. I'm confused Ell. Who are you getting mad at?

      Delete
    19. I was almost as surprised it wasn't directed at me as I would have been if it were.

      Delete
    20. The cunt concerned knows full well what a weak little bitch they are. I will say it again as it seems my message is not clear: fuck with me and I will crucify you.

      Delete
  19. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete

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