Friday, April 22, 2016

Borderline stigmatized

I keep realizing just how much borderline personality disorder is also stigmatized. I wonder even between sociopaths and BPDs, whether people who have experienced both may even be more anti BPD? But the parallels between the stigmas interest me, e.g. this review of a BPD memoir:

I've read a handful of books about borderline personality disorder -- or more accurately, how to cope with all the shit you're subjected to when a borderline person is in your life -- but this is the first one I've read by someone with BPD. I'm about 80% through. It's very good. I suspect that she's glossing over or omitting some of the more awful things she's done to other people. But it's well-written. It made me feel compassion, when my first reaction to a borderline is fury. Van Gelder describes how awful it is to try for years to get help, finally getting a wishy-washy diagnosis, and then to try to read about your diagnosis... only to find all the books and online support groups are for the non-borderline people. And it doesn't help that the diagnosis is so stigmatized that any health professional trying to help you doesn't want to give you the diagnosis in the first place. She was very lucky to find a job and a place to live, and to be functional enough that she could persist in seeking help. We need a system of mental health care that doesn't rely on people who have difficulty with their daily functioning to somehow be able to advocate for themselves, as Van Gelder was, and to have family members who are able to help them as much as her stepfather did. The way our society deals with the mentally ill is either a set of unreasonable expectations (if we don't understand what we're doing) or else just inhumane (if we do understand what we're doing).

38 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I'm so glad you got to be ~first, especially with that super stimulating comment. ///

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  2. I don't understand how anyone could want to attack or condemn someone with Borderline when it's quite clear that they are suffering enough by having to deal with the utter distress of this disorder. I am not Borderline myself, but I admire those who have to suffer, and I also wonder about the extent of healing that can happen. From what I've read, Borderline is the result of trauma/neglect as a child (maybe this is a generalisation?) so if it is the result of trauma and given the knowledge of neuroplasticity, can't this be healed or at least healed significantly?

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    1. @ WindandWater 6.04am:

      I agree with your comment. Your first sentence says it all.

      Borderline is almost always the result of early childhood traumas, usually both physical and sexual [so you were not generalising], and unfortunately affects both someone's neuroarchitecture and thus action of neurotransmitters.

      "can't this be healed or at least healed significantly?"

      Because the brain has gone down that path from early childhood, through adolescence and then into adulthood - that's a lot of neuroplasticity that has to occur to counteract that with more 'mitigating' neural pathways.

      The trouble with most people who are borderline is they know there's a problem; 'things/people setting them off', but struggle on themselves. Now that is a generalisation, nevertheless it makes for an almost impossibility regarding getting them to seek help for themselves.

      Therapy *does* work, but it has to be non-superficial, quite intensive and prolonged. Which is very expensive, either for the person or the State. CBT/DBT is very good for the anxiety, reactive aggression and depression. Prolonged Schema Therapy is also needed though, to deal with the internal emptiness and low self-esteem. Plus working out the fear of abandonment, due to the typically bad parenting and abuse during childhood [resulting in disorganised attachment issues], that should be addressed. It cannot be rushed, and needs to be voluntary.

      It can't be 'healed', but with the right amount of will, excellent psychological help, probably a few times during one's adult life, it can result in a much reduced severity of 'behavioural symptoms', and a much more contented, calm, emotionally self-regulated individual.

      People around Borderline individuals must be aware that once the rage starts, you never 'JADE'. ie, you never try to Justify, Argue, Deny or Explain the issues the borderline is getting enraged about. You validate their [extreme] feelings, set boundaries [yes you're angry but if you hit me I will go] and say "I realise [this] is making you angry, I hear that you are distressed, I understand what you mean" - and *mean* that, not just make soothing noises; because the person is hypervigilant about any falseness, and just waiting to cast you in the demon role of 'the evil person'. [That's a very simplistic account of JADE].

      Being very good with words, to re-direct strong emotions and aggression, works well too. Taking things personally and allowing yourself to get angered by the Borderline: hahahaha [derisive laughter]; good luck with that.

      And one has to keep validating for as many years as it takes, while the person is getting help.

      However, until the borderline sufferer accepts they need therapy, it's bad news. Usually, like any mental health disturbance, unless they hit rock bottom eg. with an addiction, they usually don't choose to get help; the thought of exploring past traumas is too - traumatic.

      However, a ruthless provocation of a Borderline person into a full-scale traumatic situation, may well succeed in 'pushing them' into the arms of a [previously carefully selected] very experienced psychologist. Very risky strategy, not many people are capable of that level of ruthlessness, but may work if all else has failed. The Borderline may hate you afterwards, but their life will have improved.

      @ 'Anon_SC?' at 8.40am:

      Also agree with everything [no I'm not 'just' validating 8-/]. I hope what I've written is not too simplistic. 8-/ [rueful smile]. I won't comment any further.

      Lastly, I would say it is the mark of a civilised country as to how it treats its Borderlines. So regarding the USA: it is behaving like contemptible barbarians in this regard.

      XK

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    2. XK-

      Thank you, for your above post-I found it quite informative.

      I live in the USA.

      I am not an expert, but from what I know-we need to allocate so many more resources, for mental health.

      ~Vegas

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    3. XK, dont be so insecure honey. You dont need to explain yourself after every post, telling us you hope your post wasn't something we didin't even think it was. And if we did, your "I hope ..." doesn't change anything. <3 :) Also dont worry. We know you are smart and full of knowledge, but sadly it is technically impossible for you to fit them all into a comment. We forgive your simplicity. And acknowledge you for what you are. If I could, I would give you a cookie.

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    4. Hahaha! Anon 316 that was good. You gotta be my sidekick anon - seriously !
      let's bake XZ zum cookies :)

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  3. The borderline is blessed but cursed. Validation must come from within, without it you will fall. Kinda like cloud 9 heaven into the depths of hell. Once you learn to climb outta hell, you're free in many interactions around a you.

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  4. I'm writing here for the Lord fuckerty Amam. Peace and reverence to you my lord. Bows.

    Take your mygnotistic fuckerty attitude and shove it up ur ass with a chainsaw.

    The church you go on about, read the fuckerty parables, how many times Jesus fended for women and used them for his ultimate purpose? He was humble a servant to them. Countless....None of that patriarchal crap hanging over heir head. Actually read the fuckery bible , count how many times He used " but a girl." You'd be amazed my fuckery Lord.

    Peanut brittle , I made a batch.

    Shakes hand. I know you won't respond, cuz your sense of pride is a false illusion but I know your reading. So before you disregard me my Lord, submit yourself to the teaching of Christ you so highly esteem and want people to go back too

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  5. And ya I see the errors I'm on my phone I don't give a shit

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  6. I'm sad Prince is dead-I never got to see him in concert.:(

    RIP, Prince.

    PurpleRain

    ~Vegas

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    Replies
    1. aspie & Socioempath-

      ^That song has a great guitar solo.:)

      ~Vegas

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    2. I was going to as many concerts as I could, but missed him when he was in my city, a few years ago.:(

      He was SO AWESOME, that he was still able to command $250 for a General Admission ticket, and his shows sold out...

      ~Vegas

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  7. More people need to be on http://sociopath-community.com/

    !!! it used to be connected to this blog but was disconnected over a year ago. We need fresh blood and lots of interesting things have happened recently (relates to kiwifar.ms drama: https://archive.is/M2tXa) that will go down in the forum's history! Be sure to check out http://www.psychforums.com/antisocial-personality/ too, as some of its regulars are regulars on SC too!

    Goddamn ME refused to reconnect the blog to the forum so we SC goers will just have to spam advertisements for the forum in the comments section. ;)

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    Replies
    1. Go away , stop posting this everywhere ,SC is awful!

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    2. You tell em side kick Anon. And I say side kick in a good way! :D

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  8. I'm 855 Anonymous

    I meant Fuckery Adam , LMFAO, my hands totally slipped writing that text. Hahaja! I seriously fucked that up, dam I thought there were a few errors, I text fast , but reading it ...... Oh dear :D

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  9. If the DSM is reliable, I was a front cover case of borderline just about year ago today. It lasted a few months - almost daily mood swings where you keep making a complete 180 on everyone and everything you know. Half the time it's me and I'm traumatized by what I've learned and the other half the time I'm the opposite. Never happened to me ever in my life before that or since that - thanks to God. I suppose if this happens in early childhood it has more lasting impact.

    Knowing everything else that I know now, it's a sign the poor victim still has a solid enough ethical foundation which prevents them from crossing the border into the other side. Once again, genuine empathy is the cure.

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    1. I should have said "genuine empathy is the treatment." God is the cure.

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    2. Yes you experienced probably traits , and were probably rightfully so ambivalence with your feelings inside. As you were trying to figure out how to deal with the individuals who tried to stomp on your individuality and feelings. Many borderlines and sociopaths don't know how to deal with them. Are coping skills are somewhat skewed inside for the coping mechanism stuff. But in many other areas we are very sharp and have great observational skills. So we either explode or shut them off. Dealing with them appropriately is key to function peacefully. Funny I always thought we were more alike than not. Cluster B's. I have traits as well - not fully diagnosed, but they said I hit some traits and had trouble staying there. It became worse when I finally had the guts to leave the church setting. My spiritual life because more solid when I stopped following religious dogma and clinged to Christs belief in a more balanced way. But I hardly talk about God. Jonah when I was a late teen and early twenties I had a councillor tell me that I have scrupulosity OCD. I had to lean to-put away the obsessive part of my religious beliefs into balance. It was the most toughest thing I experienced in my lifetime. It was hell.

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    3. A distorted and corrupted religious mentality is one of the worst things anyone can be inflicted with. It shows in so much that's wrong in the world. That, however, is the result of psychopathic behavior within religions and is not of true religion.

      One ought to ponder sometimes that why is it that all these psychiatric conditions are only now being discovered. How did our ancestors make it this far if so many of them were plagued by mental disorders they no one knew about and were wrongly attributed to evil spirits. Could it be that a lot of this is this is actually a recent (let's say past 100 years or so in the West) phenomenon? We can clearly see how rapidly the rate of diagnoses is increasing. What else has been changing rapidly in that same 100 years in the West? I say "West" because most of the "3rd world" is still spared many of the mental health issues we face in the West. They have their own troubles yet, ironically from a materialist perspective, their brains remain healthier (in general).

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    4. Very well said ^ and something to ponder on..., thanks. I'm at bday party now.

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    5. BTW I'm beyond glad that everything happened the way it did. I was lost and ignorant and now I have firm belief & trust in God. I have a peace of mind I haven't had since I was kid really.

      God-willing you all will have the same one day.

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    6. :-) glad you feel that way. We grow and learn through all the cycles and seasons he bestows on us. Me too , I wouldn't change a thing! ;)

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    7. Thank you.

      I have a gut feeling that my "socio" friend will come around too. There's no reason for him - or anyone else (my relatives included) - to carry the past as a burden on their subconscience and thereby stunt their own growth.

      I hope they realize that I don't hold any grudge against them except their refusal to admit or apologize. They would benefit far, far, far more than me or anyone from cleaning their slate. The only hard part is saying the words - the rest is already done.

      Peace folks!

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    8. Ah, yes when both sides submit , it's a beautiful thing. If one can see how beneficial it is to healing. But even if individuals don't as long as you make resolution and restitution within yourself Jonaid. The rest follows. It might look different to people but you've won them over without them even realizing it .

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    9. Love this song, I don't usually talk about my Faith because I'm a believer of both evolution and intelligent design, I believe they both work stimutaneously and I have many atheist friends who have shown me the power of humanity. But my spiritual mind, something draws me in. Always will. Always ;)

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=F6oxXwRWFTo

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    10. Thank you anonymous 11:10.

      Superchick I agree with you that Evolution and God are both in fact true and there's no contradiction is saying so. It's so simple yet so many people find it difficult to put the two together.

      Delete
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    conduire à une auto-destruction progressive.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm both people Jonaid, have a great Sunday. Namaste. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you and you too - it's a beautiful day in my part of the country.

      I didn't get the "both people" remark.

      Delete
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  13. My husband broke up with me last week, i was so frustrated and i could not know what next to do again, i love my husband so much but he was cheating on me with another woman and this makes him broke up with me so that he can be able to get marry to the other lady and this lady i think use witchcraft on my husband to make him hate me and my kids and this was so critical and uncalled-for,I cry all day and night for God to send me a helper to get back my man until i went to NY to see a friend and who was having the same problem with me but she latter got her Husband back and i asked her how she was able to get her husband back and she told me that their was a powerful spell caster in Africa name Dr.Unity that he help with love spell in getting back lost lover back and i decided to contacted the same Dr.Unity and he told me what is needed to be done for me to have my man back and i did it although i doubted it but i did it and the Dr told me that i will get the result after 48hours, and he told me that my husband was going to call me by 9pm in my time and i still doubted his word, to my surprise my husband really called me and told me that he miss me so much, Oh My God i was so happy, and today i am happy with my man again and we are joyfully living together as one good family and i thank the powerful spell caster Dr.Unity of Unityspelltemple@gmail.com , he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that good spell casters still exist and Dr.Unity is one of the good spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are there and your lover is turning you down, or you have your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore contact the powerful spell caster Dr.Unity on his email: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com .if you have any problem contact Dr.Unity, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you. Thank you sooooo much!!!

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    ReplyDelete
  14. I am a Clinical Social Worker registered with the Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers counselling sudbury and a member of the Ontario Association of Social worker.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi everyone! So excited my husband is back after a break up !
    My husband broke up with me last week, i was so frustrated and i could not know what next to do again, i love my husband so much but he was cheating on me with another woman and this makes him broke up with me so that he can be able to get marry to the other lady and this lady i think use witchcraft on my husband to make him hate me and my kids and this was so critical and uncalled-for,I cry all day and night for God to send me a helper to get back my man until i went to NY to see a friend and who was having the same problem with me but she latter got her Husband back and i asked her how she was able to get her husband back and she told me that their was a powerful spell caster in Africa name Dr.Unity that he help with love spell in getting back lost lover back, and i decided to contacted the same Dr.Unity and he told me what is needed to be done for me to have my man back and i did it although i doubted it but i did it and the Dr told me that i will get the result after 48hours, and he told me that my husband was going to call me by 9pm in my time and i still doubted his word, to my surprise my husband really called me and told me that he miss me so much, Oh My God! i was so happy, and today i am happy with my man again and we are joyfully living together as one good family and i thank the powerful spell caster Dr.Unity of Unityspelltemple@gmail.com , he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that good spell casters still exist and Dr.Unity is one of the good spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are there and your lover is turning you down, or you have your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore contact the powerful spell caster Dr.Unity on his email: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com .if you have any problem contact Dr.Unity, I guarantee you that he will help you. Thank you sooooo much Dr Unity.

    ReplyDelete

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