Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Unflappable?

Very few things bother me, but sometimes I am bothered when there is an unexpected reaction or consequence to something I've done. My friend says that I'm never so mad as when I think I have been doing things on the up and up, but someone still chastises me.

The other day I was traveling and had to rent an automobile. I parked in a particular location that turned out to be in front of somebody's garage. They left a note for me saying that they needed to get their car our of their garage and were going to tow my car, etc. I grabbed the note and hurried away, I was late for something, but the note continued to bother me. How could I have not seen the garage, I wondered? What would I have done if they had towed it, let the rental agency deal with it? How had I let this almost happen? My mind wouldn't let it go.

I read a good description of this type of reaction in this comment:

Any time a kink happens in my social interactions, whether it's a slip of my tongue or an unexpectedly aggressive reply, I dwell on it. It replays in my mind, and I dissect it to find out what I could have done differently. Did I misread the person's intentions? Was I not forthcoming enough? It's not that I truly care how people perceive me; I don't hunger for their acceptance or praise. But I very carefully cultivate my outward persona: it is charming, it is witty, and it is benign. So when it fails to work as planned, it's a serious problem. It throws into question all of the hard work I've put into it. 

If I make someone cry, I'm not disturbed because I've caused them pain. I'm disturbed because I don't mean to be seen as a negative source--now I have to apologize or feign sincerity, or all my effort to appear as a sympathetic and trustworthy person, and the emotional power it gives me over that person, vanishes. 

I'm disturbed because I control everything, all the time, and for me to not do that, or stumble--it's unacceptable. 


With regard to my parking incident, I drove back the next day to that same neighborhood to investigate. There was no cutaway from the curb. The "garage" was covered in ivy and not clearly either a garage or functional. It was as hidden from sight as the Batcave. I was at glad to see that my mind hadn't slipped as much as I thought. And I started to wonder at how often people park in front of their garage. Do they deal with this every day? Could they put up a sign? Or perhaps paint the curb a different colour? I was angry at them, for setting me up for failure--for trapping me and acting like they had some sort of moral or legal high ground. I left them the note they wrote, secured in their door. I don't know why, but I thought it was vaguely threatening, like letting them know that I knew where they lived. And they shouldn't leave notes on my automobile. Or something...

105 comments:

  1. First, as always. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HAH! Good game.

      Delete
    2. Babushka PsikhopatOctober 2, 2012 at 12:49 AM

      Убирайся непослушных детей.

      Великий психопат тетя

      Delete
    3. Убирайся непослушных детей.

      Великий психопат тетя

      Delete
    4. Babushka PsikhopatOctober 2, 2012 at 1:00 AM

      Baaaahh!!!!

      Delete
    5. Well, Google Translate certainly FUBARed that for you. I'm going to perform the role of Russian Grammar Nazi today :)

      Убирайтесь, непослушные дети!

      Великая тётя психопатка or could be
      Двоюродная бабушка психопатка

      It was still cute though.

      Delete
    6. Thanks Green Eyes. Y’know, you may have heard things about me – but it’s mostly been exaggerated. How’d you like to meet up some time?

      Delete
    7. Haha! Yes, I'm sure it was all speculation and sensationalism, especially the part about your impotence ;)
      I did enjoy the show you put on in the courtroom and anyone who survives the 9 gram treatment is certainly tempting to meet with. Shall we make a date for a picnic in the woods then?

      Delete
    8. Haha..yes..ha..yes..impotence. That made-up Russian imperial propaganda against good communist. My courtroom appearance make Pussy Galore look like One Direction.

      I love idea of picnic. “If you go down in the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise...”

      Delete
    9. Haha - where manners? Pussy Galore [read: Riot]

      I look forward to meeting you Green Eyes.

      Delete
    10. The sociopath I was with hurt me physically, I told him he was too rough, it would cause damage. He told me to shut-up and be the way it use to be and that I liked it. Told him forget about it then. He said he won't bother me anymore.

      Now he checks the phone several times a day.

      Can he be sorry he lost me or just angry?

      Delete
    11. Anon, I doubt he's sorry. You're well rid of him, so who gives a damn what he checks and how often? Just stay away and don't make the same mistake twice.

      Delete
    12. Andrei, I just love surprises, so "darling come here..."

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Убирайся непослушных детей.

      Великий психопат тетя

      Delete
    2. Molok, Bazak – stop TOЯMENTIИG your GЯEAT Aunt

      Delete
  3. "I left them the note they wrote, secured in their door. I don't know why, but I thought it was vaguely threatening, like letting them know that I knew where they lived. And they shouldn't leave notes on my automobile. Or something..."


    LMAO!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!



    Good Morning Sociopathworld!

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  4. "I don't know why, but I thought it was vaguely threatening, like letting them know that I knew where they lived. And they shouldn't leave notes on my automobile. Or something..."

    This would annoy me too.

    I might have left their note secured in their door, further inscribed with a message of my own, explaining how their garage is invisible from the curb:

    "Steps should be taken to rectify the situation. After all, it is unwise to antagonize people by threatening to tow away their vehicles for something which is not their fault- especially in this day and age, with your place of residence so readily apparent."

    I might word the note in just such a manner as to ensure perfect ambiguity- thereby rendering it as easily interpreted as a menace, as a good-natured warning from a concerned citizen.

    Then I would relish the thought of the person opening the door and reading such a note with mild, yet tenacious apprehension- and take pleasure in that. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, that would be the way I'd go too, except if I'm in a passive aggressive mood. Then I might pour weed killer all over their ivy first.

      Delete
    2. Mindless PleasuresOctober 2, 2012 at 4:19 AM

      LOL!

      Delete
    3. Mindless PleasuresOctober 2, 2012 at 4:22 AM

      This site is like Agony Aunt advice from Hell ; )

      Delete
  5. It is eerie how much I relate to these posts.

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  6. I was thinking about ME's post about the flexible self and how it seemed amorphous, like water. As I have been forcing myself to accept new challenges, I think about the things I have learned on here.

    Tell me if you can relate. To me, my happiest times were when my self felt the most solid, as I felt I was standing on solid ground. As my self became more amorphous( as a result of needing to shut down from trauma) I became more filled with angst and struggle, in a directly proportional way.

    I think that true happiness is found in the most clearly defined self you can have.



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You remind me of persons I knew. All filled with angst and struggle.

      But Andrei soon fix that.

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  7. M.E. come on, let's meet up and have some tea. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Replies
    1. It boggles the mind that the same person who uses Skillet would use Steppenwolf, but I won't complain for the improvement.

      Delete
  9. I stopped seeing a sociopath 2 months ago. In the relationship I was his sub. Lasted 3 years, the end of it was my doing because he became too rough and only contacted me for the past 8 months once a month when it was every week before that.
    We have a disposable phone that I gave him and can see that he opens it 2 to 6 times a day, It shows on the call report) He told me he's done.
    I assume he's angry for the loss of control and wants me to beg him back but I won't.
    Being reduced to just an action or thing that has killed it for me.

    I know you can't tell me exactly the reason for his checking the phone or what his motives might be, but do you think I should be aware of a possible problem because of the phone checks he makes?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Forget ex. Let's you & I meet up.

    Andrei treat you well.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Mmmmm i just love the way russians speak english <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I love you American women with your shaven pussies and surgery of plastic

      Let us have pussy riot in your pants tonight baby

      Delete
    2. Hi Andrei, Thank you for the invite but on a serious note, if someone left you that you didn't think would, what would you do?

      Delete
    3. In Russia nobody leave Andrei – Andrei leave them.

      Enough small talk. We meet soon yes?

      Delete
  12. What is the difference between a sociopathic person and a sociopath?

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  13. Just to clarify. Did ME leave the car there after having seen the note? Does that suggest she parked, left the car a while, came back, found the note and left again? If so, was she being OCD and making sure she indeed locked the car door? Or, had she left something behind only to realize after walking where she needed to go and that's why she was now late having spent her time walking around? Was she mad that she left the stuff behind? THat things were all of a sudden doubly out of control?

    I mean, c'mon girl, we need the full story, don't we?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. M.E. is a girl?

      Delete
    2. Yes, and a hot one ;)

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    3. ^LOL Yeah right.

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    4. why the yeah right?

      Delete
  14. Replies
    1. Andrei does not understand your strange American capitalist humor.

      Delete
  15. Interesting, M.E. It wasn't about moral ground, just the fact that they couldn't get out of their garage. You inconvenienced them. If it happened to you, why would you have offered towing? Personally I would have if I had no choice and needed my car.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My thoughts were similar to yours and then I considered the possibilities of revenge from the car owner. Aren't we to consider this?

      Delete
  16. Nice article, thanks for the information.

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  17. I don't believe that M.E. was the first to park in front of their garage and the responsibility lies with the homeowner in making their driveway more pronounced. They are either, ignorant, old or narcissistic but I would have added a few words to the note telling of them that the responsibility lies with them and forget about it.



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  18. Sometimes I wonder if sociopathy is a combination of intense emotional dissociation coupled with an OCD like necessity to control their environment due to not having control over the situations that formed the dissociative defense mechanisms.

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    Replies


    1. Haven this is why I'm the high maintenance low maintenance girl.

      Delete
    2. Ever since ME talked about the appendicitis and having to collapse before he was aware of how bad it was, I have been haunted by this.

      I have been out of touch with my body, as if I am not attached to it.

      I have been trying to center myself and be more present and aware of myself. What I find is that I have an almost constant stomach ache.

      This means something big. I am not sure all of what it means, but my body is holding many of my emotions very tightly so I don't lose it and go insane, perhaps.

      Delete
    3. @Anon I'm not even sure what that means but I relate completely haha.

      Delete
  19. I would have had words with this home owner/renter. Stop being such a pussy.

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    Replies
    1. That's one option but I would have left a reply to their note. Sometimes, not showing your face is more effective.

      Delete
    2. Hardly. It's about the principal of the thing.

      Some fucking asshole has a hidden garage and then goes out of their way to threaten me with a tow? FUCK THAT!

      I would have pounded on their door and told them to get their shit straight or get fucked, and that no one threatens me with bullshit like that.

      It's one thing if I wasn't paying attention and made a blunder. It's another thing when some jerkoff is probably pedaling the same old goods to me. Obviously, this wasn't the first or last occurrence, and this cunt writes me a note?

      If you threaten someone's property, you best be ready for the repercussions.

      Delete
    3. LOL......I would have been able to tell if there was a garage by the pavement or sidewalk and in that case I would not have parked. Only in an emergency.

      Delete
    4. Pay attention, dumbfuck.

      "With regard to my parking incident, I drove back the next day to that same neighborhood to investigate. There was no cutaway from the curb. The "garage" was covered in ivy and not clearly either a garage or functional. It was as hidden from sight as the Batcave."

      Delete
    5. Wow........And, yes, I made an error which apparently you never do but my 8:19 post was clear on my thoughts if you care to scrutinize that, also.

      Delete
    6. Scrutinize my dick tickling the back of your throat.

      Delete
    7. You would do that for me? :)

      Delete
    8. Before we get down to business; I ask you, why would the homeowner/renter back their car out of the garage and over a high curb?

      You are the rocket scientist?

      Delete
    9. It's only gay if I watch.

      Delete
    10. I heard that in a movie, once, can't remember the title but, yes, it was said by a gay. lol

      Delete
    11. "Before we get down to business; I ask you, why would the homeowner/renter back their car out of the garage and over a high curb?"

      They wouldn't, especially considering said garage was overrun by ivy (meaning, never used/maintained)

      Thus, my anger.

      Delete
    12. "With regard to my parking incident, I drove back the next day to that same neighborhood to investigate. There was no cutaway from the curb. The "garage" was covered in ivy and not clearly either a garage or functional. It was as hidden from sight as the Batcave."

      would a towing company actually tow a car away that's sitting in front of a non-garage? this sounds like a city area. no cutaway from the curb suggests an illegal parking spot. i would check the city records to see if it's a valid driveway, and park there again if it isn't. :)

      Delete
    13. hmm if someone blocked my driveway i would have them towed right away, not leave a silly little note... unless i didn't have legal parking. what's the street name and number, ME? maybe we can get a google pic? i wanna see! :)

      Delete
    14. You would have a car towed that was sitting out in front of your non-garage batcave?

      Fucking empaths~

      Delete
    15. You're so stupid, Zoe. :)

      Delete
    16. I totally liked the way that M.E. handled the note issue. He made a loud statement to the homeowner/renter without writing a word and he went to their personal space to do it.

      Delete
    17. how hard would it be to get to their personal space considering it was their non garage thing?

      Delete
    18. How could M.E. leave a note in their ivy covered non garage thing? He/she stated that is was left "secured in their door" - their front door, I assume.

      Delete
    19. WHAT a fucking mystery we have on our hands here. I am so glad we have the very best detectives on the case.~

      Delete
    20. how about if i break it down..

      i) i would have a car towed that blocked my visible legal driveway and non-ivy covered garage, instead of leaving a note and waiting for the owner of the car to return.. if it impacted my schedule.

      ii) if i didn't have a legal driveway, i would leave a pissy note and wait (or take a bus!) instead of calling a towing service.

      iii) THEREFORE it could be that the owner/user of the ivy covered driveway of ME's story didn't have a permit.

      better?

      Delete
    21. no google map link i guess

      Delete
    22. @tnp,

      okay so what would you do if a car was blocking your ivy covered garage?

      Delete
    23. @8:52

      depending on where you live it can be impossible. then you have a garage that isn't, or non-garage that is, and hope the neighbours don't tell.

      Delete
    24. @8:27

      Woo-Woo-Woo! Nyak, Nyak, Nyak!

      Delete
    25. bubba labba, abba bubbala!

      Delete
  20. What's a socio to a psycho? Bros?
    http://johns-jokes.com/afiles/images/calm-down-bro.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  21. I was super pissed over being warned that if I parked somewhere I had a sticker for I'd get a ticket. It then took over a half hour to find a parking place when I am forced to pay around $300/yr for a parking permit to park there.

    That raced through my head forever after. I talked to people normal but I wanted to explode and just beat the shit out of someone. I wanted to write a formal complaint. I wanted to complain about it in alternative ways. I wanted to play up my physical state as a disability and imply this was interfering with it.

    It's sort of distant now. I'm usually not bothered by things either. The only other thing I remember bothering me was someone killing a few of my pets, I was angry enough that I didn't leave the house for a day or so and even a week later I was hoping to catch whoever did it. And when someone keyed my car. It was likely the same neighbor on both accounts.

    Another thing that pissed me off was that I let a lie slip that I shouldn't have, and when I tried to casually cover it up by saying it was hypothetical the person ran with the lie. It ended up spilling over in to other aspects of my life and was completely unacceptable to me. I was pretty angry about that one. I didn't talk to the person at all after that or run in to them, thankfully.

    That's pretty much my past five years in anger. Barring a few minor incidents.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bottomline, you got owned. Too bad your disability will not let yourself admit that.

      Delete
  22. Oh dear ME you're such a cuckoo x)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Your feelings were not bad
    Your thoughts were not bad.
    Your wants were not bad.
    Your needs were not bad.

    Take this in deep.



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let M.E. penetrate.
      Let God penetrate.
      Let my 10" strap-on penetrate.

      You are healed.

      Delete
  24. wtf happened to the forums?

    I blame Monica. It's always that bitch's fault.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You could use a break from it, you putz.

      Delete
    2. Nabble is doing a database update. Seems to be taking a while or they're having problems with it.

      Delete
  25. So let me get this straight..
    You punish yourself for possibly making a parking mistake by obsessing about for 24 hours
    Go back to find a way to prove it couldn't possibly be your fault
    Find out there actually is a garage there (you did make a mistake)
    Find a way to make it their fault
    Leave the note so they will live in fear of retribution
    Wasted a day of your life, ruined a few weeks of their lives, and it wasnt even your fucking car!!

    OMG.. If you weren't a woman I would swear you were my ex boyfriend!

    ReplyDelete
  26. You sociopaths should stop thinking like you have some kind of edge. You don't have any more edge than the next guy standing in line for popcorn. If anything, what you have is distinctively a disability, because only in the animal world there is no empathy.

    Given your stupid action of leaving behind a threatening note, you may have missed a CCTV somewhere there (because of your failure to notice the garage in the first place), and then finding you're the same guy who parked the car there, check with the rental agency for your identity. And suddenly you're wanted by the law.

    So get off your high horse already. I've upstaged sociopaths before, and I'm not even as smart as how you guys described yourselves.

    ReplyDelete
  27. ini sangat berharga bagi saya terima kasih

    ReplyDelete
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