Monday, October 22, 2012

Power


I love power. I'm fascinated by it. The power over self. The power over others. I think the power over self definitely should preceed the power over others. I've learned this over time of studying and practicing it.

It is interesting to read about world leaders in history who have started powerless and who had been thrust into a position of power without being prepared for it. They start off idealists, wanting only the best for mankind, only to be thrown on a downward spiral committing atrocities for what they perceived as the betterment of mankind or their country. I truly understand them.

I can't tell you that I'm partisan to any particular brand of ideology. I have studied all of them deeply. Communism and fascism are the most interesting when it comes to power, because it thrusts absolute power into the hands of a few people. Indeed capitalism does still keep power in the hands of a few, but not as little as you can count on two hands.

We don't have a lot of fascist leaders to compare, as the idea never gained enough popularity worldwide to have any long standing leaders. I have always found fascism to be power given to the impatent. It's guided by insecurity. As usual the theory actually makes a little sense to anyone who can look at it objectively: It's a structure of government that believes that people don't want freedom. It believes the strong should survive and the weak should perish. Individualism should be sacrificed for the state. Quoting Mussolini, "Anti-individualistic, the Fascist conception of life stresses the importance of the State and accepts the individual only in so far as his interests coincide with those of the State...." Absolute power indeed. The fascists' insecurity, however, is written in their ideology from the gate. They reject liberalism and communism for the fact that they blame these ideologies for their losses in the first world war. This was the platform to which Mussolini and Hitler rose to power. It was the insecurity of the masses in these countries that propelled two insecure people into power.

The claim of supremacy of the Aryan race and throwbacks to a ancient civilization of glory were examples of this. The point the finger attitude of hating Jews, liberals, communists, France, etc. were yet another. I wouldn't claim Hitler a sociopath purely for the fact that his entire campaign and life rested on his insecurity and over-emotionalism. I won't delve deep into his life, as I'm not trying to write a biography on him, however those who have should throw a comment up on your opinion.

Communism is a doctrine that thrusts power into the hands of the powerless. I do believe the intentions of a majority of the leaders of communist revolutions to be genuine. Notice I said majority. People like Pol Pot I believe had no intention of furthering anything, but his lust for power and blood. Why do I think so? The foundation of communism is to create a egalitarian society. One where the workers who produce the products are in control. That's why they call it a dictatorship of the proletariat. For the sociopath at the top, this is a terrible idea. How then would they exploit the workers? For the powerless sociopath, this was a wonderful idea. What better way to gain popular support but to say that you would be giving everyone equality, and control over their own labor? I will use Stalin for a example.

If Stalin wasn't a sociopath I will hand over my control to this website to Love Fraud. Hands down. Stalin's rap sheet as a young revolutionary is long: Armed robbery, kidnapping, assassination, counterfeiting, extortion, racketeering, inciting riots, and finally insurrection. Stalin manipulated his way into power. Such as his alliance with Kamenev and Zinoviev, which he used to make sure that Lenin's testament (Which had orders not to let Stalin in power) would never be revealed. After Stalin's death he shifted his alliance to another party member and had them both ejected from the party. Stalin's path while in power was one of a heroin addict with a unlimited supply of junk. He started executing anyone who opposed him. Even to go as far as having a assassin stab Trotsky (Former party member in exile) to death with a ice pick. He had his armies throw themselves into the enemies' guns in WWII resulting in the largest amount of casualties in a country during the world war. He changed history books to the point of erasing people out of pictures who he deemed counter revolutionary. This would mean erasing people's entire existence for going against him. His own son tried to commit suicide after Stalin told him he was a failure. Upon receiving the news he said, "He can't even shoot straight." After being captured by the Germans Stalin refused to trade for him saying that if he did it would be special treatment and not fair to the rest of the "Sons of Russia." Stalin's son then succeeded in running himself into a electric fence in the concentration camp. I believe Stalin was a sociopath given a cause and as he grew more powerful he lost vision of what exactly that cause was. In the end his cause was staying in power. The funny thing is he died with his only possession being his uniform. His power.

Power is raw and uncut. Its lure is subtle, but its taste is explosive. You have a little and you keep wanting more. The more you have it, the more you will excuse using it vicariously. You'll justify your every callous action with vigour. Soon you are nothing but a embodiment of fear and manipulation. You still think you are fighting for what you were in the beginning, but you're only fighting to maintain your position. As all the threats real and perceived mount, you become more awful in your preservation of it. In the end it's easy to lose sight, or is the real intention deep down inside everyone of us power itself? Sometimes it's hard to know. Even for the person fighting it.

206 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. This comment relates both to the 'Power' article and 'Cognitive diversity: the right to one's mind'

    Taken both together it's easy to see where the real power lies in society, and it isn't with the sociopath. If sociopaths could get organised they would possibly become a force to be reckoned with. But they are no more able or inclined to organise, than they are to feel consistently responsible in any other sense.
    Empaths - not the type sociopaths like to hurt and abuse but the strong, organised, majority - are the one's with power. Sociopaths are left to grub around in the wreckage of vulnerable minds for little nuggets of what it feels like to be powerful.
    We will decide your fate, you will not decide ours. You are the true sheep, not us. You are being herded slowly toward your own oblivion by us. We study your brain and categorise you, you do not do it to us.
    We are the powerful, and so it is sensible that you wonder what you can expect from us. It doesn't look good at all for you. When it comes to the sociopath relationship to the ruling empaths, how we see sociopaths brings us close as we get to the sociopath mindset itself. We do not empathise with you. We find you despicable and revolting. We will readily dehumanise and despatch with you.
    Don't take it personally, there is nothing in how we see you that isn't reflected in how you see us: But we have the power.

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    1. Someone is feeling left out of the group...

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  3. “But we have the power.”

    And by “we” you mean people other than you, which is the real point. You, dear anonymous, are as powerless as you are deluded. If you really believe the comment you left here, then you are most definitely deluded. It is that delusional mindset which leaves you vulnerable to people like me, who might find ripping your life to shreds mildly entertaining.

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  4. Birdick your empty, anonymous, toothless, threats are pathetic, and you lower the tone considerably. I clearly defined "we" as the empath collective. Read it properly you nitwit.

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  5. Anonymous said, "Birdick your empty, anonymous, toothless, threats are pathetic, and you lower the tone considerably."

    Wow, really? What's funny is you probably don't see the hypocrisy in that at all. And that deep blindness is why people like you fail to see people like me coming until it's too late. And when people like me are done with people like you, you're left with nothing more than your impotent anger and your delusions of grandeur about might empath armies marching to slaughter the evil hordes of sociopaths that only exist in your bitter imagination.

    Dear Anonymous, instead of venting your anger on a comment board to people who don’t give a damn about you or your hurt feelings, why not instead use life’s often bitter lessons to make yourself stronger, more capable of handling anything and everything it throws at you? That would be a much more productive use of your time.

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  6. Birdick it's obviously extremely easy to press your buttons. How do you imagine yourself a dark manipulator again?
    My comment spoke the wider truth and yet you got caught up in the personal.

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  7. Anonymous said, “Birdick it's obviously extremely easy to press your buttons.”

    The unfortunate thing about comments and email is that one can’t hear the tone of another’s voice or see the other’s facial expressions. I don’t hate to disappoint you, but you didn’t “press my buttons”, so to speak. I just found your comments laughable and also typical of the very thing that makes normals vulnerable to manipulation. You all take this mindset as a strength only, but you don’t bother to fully appreciate how it might also be a weakness.

    And I was bored.

    “How do you imagine yourself a dark manipulator again?”

    No dear, that was you projecting again. I don’t imagine myself. I am what I am.

    “My comment spoke the wider truth and yet you got caught up in the personal.”

    Yeeeaaahhh… you spoke the truth. Uh huh. Sure you did. Nothing but the gospel. You veritably drowned me in facts.

    And sweetums, it’s never personal. Literally.

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  8. Personally, I don't give a damn about power over the masses. I care more about boundaries from the masses.

    I care about the life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness as a base... and my specific rights.

    Capitalism has been a good thing. Our democratic-republic is good.

    But, what pisses me off is life structuring of the masses via spirituality and media!

    Not that I care what others believe, just that their stupidity bleeds over into my life... and that's crappy.

    If I didn't have to deal with that, everyone could be a sociopathic fascist and I wouldn't give a damn.

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  9. Back to the post itself…

    “I wouldn't claim Hitler a sociopath purely for the fact that his entire campaign and life rested on his insecurity and over-emotionalism. I won't delve deep into his life, as I'm not trying to write a biography on him, however those who have should throw a comment up on your opinion.”

    I don’t know much about his life either, but from the little I have read, you’re probably right. Hitler may not have been as cynical in his rise to power as Stalin seems to have been. In other words, Hitler might have actually believed his spiel about the Jews and Germanic superiority and all that.

    “The foundation of communism is to create a egalitarian society.”

    That’s why communism failed to create widespread economic growth for a majority of its populations in my view. Egalitarianism, or the idea that all class distinctions, economic outcomes and differences in achievement should be done away with by the government because that’s what ‘the people’ truly want, is a myth. I think history demonstrates that ‘the people’ have never really wanted pure egalitarianism, which is why class stratification of one kind or the other always manages to spring up in every state. I’d be more in favor of a strictly meritocratic system myself, but that’s also impossible, given human nature. So I’m left with the general opinion that the individual is left to do and is free to do (especially in the West) precisely what he thinks he must do in order to achieve his ends, whatever they might be. He doesn’t wait for government or mommy or daddy or god or his mate or his pastor or anyone else to make things easy for him. He doesn’t wait for anyone else’s approval and he certainly doesn’t consult society’s version of morality to decide what is and is not best for him.

    “is the real intention deep down inside everyone of us power itself?”

    It is my opinion that we all want power, which is the ability to make things happen, to be able to shape one’s self and one’s environment as one sees fit. I think that is perfectly average.

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  10. DirtyHarriett said, “Capitalism has been a good thing. Our democratic-republic is good.”

    I agree with this in general Dirty Harriett. Capitalism is by no means perfect and neither is the West’s version of representative democracy. But then again, what would we put in their place and why? So far no one’s been able to give me a good, workable and realistic alternative, so I’ll take our capitalistic and marginally republican government until someone comes up with something better.

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  11. I agree and disagree with Anonymous equally. Humanity evolved due to our strength in numbers. Sociopaths have an advantage when undetected within the group. Sociopaths like Stalin have wielded power over empaths, but the great mass of sheep generally have the power in non-dictatorial societies, and most societies, be they corporations, the military or political parties, are ruled more by the group than one person. Even if there is a King in charge, it's probably an insecure empath like Hitler just because of the sheer number of sheep. Sociopaths are hurting themselves with their dellusions of invulnrability though they know it already.

    Also agree with Dirty Harriett, in that I'd love to see democratic socialism, just to see how things would turn out. There's not nearly enough experementation in socio-economic systems, it's so boring. The problem with Communism is the prommise is so easilly abused by sociopaths and others with a lust for absolute power!

    Not everyone is motivated by power, we have varying preferences from security to boredom through lust and gluttony. Power is a means to an end of many of these other goals, but some goals conflict with it like a lazy man's desire for an easy life or an insecure person's fear of responsibility. Perhaps power motivates all sociopaths, more than any other drive?

    Has anyone thought Hitler may have had aspergers disorder? I don't know much about him to be honest apart from what's written in Mein Kampf but I always consider him an aspie homeboy =P He was just another sheep either way, led by more sheep, to slaughter other sheep.

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  12. ..I am afraid that you may have to hand over control to Love Fraud. It would bear checking, but I've read somewhere that Stalin's personal correspondence was similar to that of a 'primitive narcisstic' personality.

    He was extremely dogmatic with a black/white worldview and completely unable to reflect on his behavior.

    Sociopaths are more concerned with getting things done, not dogma, I think. For example, a smart sociopath wouldn't have gone forward with the collectivization, but would have rationalized the current system, squeezed the peasants harder or helped them grow more food. End result would be no famine and more exports.

    @communist idealism. Maybe, but those who mattered were ruthless, violent men who did not realize that if for you the end justifies the means, you may never get there, but instead plunge the country into a nightmare.
    I personally think that the top men knew what they were doing, just the middle and lower cadres were idealists.


    -Yann

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  13. “But we have the power.”

    This little overwrought tangent is perfect to illustrate the seemly subtle (but hugely important) difference between 'power' and 'control'.

    Anecdotedly, I've found that this tangent typifies the Narcissists desire for 'power'. They want power, but the kind of power that comes with responsibility. I've found that sociopaths without NPD characteristics avoid this type of power like the plague and shoot for simple control. Situations, circumstances they can control. It seems like a small distinction, but it's what gets you in trouble...power comes with responsibility, control does not. The context is often important in how it presents, either way, but there seems to be a blind spot with Narcissist that doesn't allow them to identify when they are being given out-and-out control and when they have power. So most of the men, Stalin included, that have been given power and then drawn and quartered when it turns on them had at least enough NPD in their sociopathic composite to remain the figurehead long past the time when that power's usefulness ran out and the responsibilities came crashing in.

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  14. Daft, you should continue posting here heartily. Just because a psychologically superior anonymous empath fucked with your mind, doesn't mean you should be shy now. You are very intelligent and well-liked.

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  17. The point made at the top was correct in that empaths, because they organise into collectives, are like the multicellular organisms of society. Sociopaths are like the single celled organisms, bacteria being one sort.
    You get good and bad bacteria, but clearly the empath collective view sociopathy as bad bacteria and in the end, because of technological breakthroughs, they will have the power to decide the fate of sociopaths.
    As was said above, the empath collective do not empathise at all with the sociopathic condition. Reading this blog and its comments would probably reinforce that disdain for most thinking empaths. It's all here..the superficial charm, the specious arguments, the morbid fascination with power and abuse, the hatred of the psychologically weak and congenital desire to hurt them, the abject refusal (inability?) to take any real personal responsibility or reflect from a standpoint of personal responsibility.
    What M.E. wants to achieve sometimes looks honourable, but even he constantly loses the plot and returns to what empaths would consider to be a weakness, which is masturbatury self-congratulation and perverted fascination with all the ways a vulnerable person can be ruined.

    My guess is that M.E. is probably high on the sociopathic register, but as Daft above intuited, sociopaths come in a wide variety of types. M.E. is a bit of a visionary, because he has seen the writing on the wall for sociopaths (how long before a sociopath can be identified in a telephone conversation from voice patterns?).
    My advice to M.E. would be, stop looking for and revelling in, differences between socipaths and empaths, and start looking for differences between sociopaths. There may be a subset 'type' worth preserving, but how are you going to make that case, and how long do you realistically have to do so?

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  18. Daft,

    "See...this is why socipaths get a bad wrap, we (yes I am coming out as a sociopath!) think that different means better or weaker and not just...different."

    Glad to see you coming out and confirming what many have long suspected.

    We Support You!

    -Dirty

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  19. Daft wrote "Just one of those moments in your life where you discover something new about yourself...for me, it is that I might be a nihilist with a moderate hatred for materialism and capitalism among other things."

    Daft you might just be a once decent loving person now brought low by addiction, and unable to understand or believe the way he's let down the people he loves, thus wondering whether he is simply evil.
    But addiction is enough of an answer all by itself...try exploring that one before getting too attached to the sociopath theory.

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  20. I think there was a documentary that made the case that "corporations" are institutionally psychopathic.

    "Government" provides some indispensable services to citizens but also seems inherently parasitic, aggressive, controlling, inconsistent, dishonest and self-interested. Government may be more representative of an institutional "psychopath" than anything in the private sector.

    I think fascist/communist govts exhibit a similar character to all government, but a combination of the geopolitical environment and national character (i.e. it's people/DNA) contributed to violent genocidal/collectivist and imperial policy.

    We'll never really know if Hitler or Stalin were sociopaths (as noted Stalin seems more probable), but the environment in both Germany and the Soviet Union at the time were defiantly hospitable to sociopaths. I think I would have wanted a government job then too!

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  25. I was just bout to get you on that.

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  27. Daft,

    "Really, who else has suspected it?"

    That was alluding to a gay comedy.

    Like the gay dude that comes out, and everyone snickers, thinking, "Yeah, we knew 20 years ago with the pink hot pants. But, yeah, congratulations. Much support!"?

    I'm sure a few people suspected your sociopathy, other than me.

    Maybe not.

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  28. Hey Daft & UKan,

    Ever consider -I- used many I statements because the subject of was -I-???

    Consider the context and subject, dudes.

    If I had reacted with offensive, instead of a sort of honest defensive, that would've been really strange...

    The only other option was no response.

    Offensive, defensive, agreement (will never happen) and no response. What else is there?

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  29. Sometimes it's better tho close your mouth and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt

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  30. UKan,

    Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows it???

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  31. But in reality, this sense of being superior was actually a difference in people.


    People = perspective. As in changeable with circumstance.

    It's important that you see that you were judging yourself on what perspective you took (and drew upon that to make behavior choices) yet you judged the behavior of those you were with and then drew from that a concept of what their perspective was, and judged that (as if it were organic to them). You get the benefit of a complex existence and they just get your second hand perspective on their perspective. That's why you feel superior. You'll never know another as you know yourself. So you have to learn to level the playing field and see when you're selling someone short.

    I certainly don't disagree with you, I was just taking one or two steps further.

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    1. Misanthrope
      Died April 6. 2012.

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    2. He wasn't a very good man anyways.

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    3. Did he really die?

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    4. Yeah... I felt kind of sad, he gave great advices.

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  34. Morning SociopathWorld

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  35. Boring dribble about relatively recent displays of power.

    Some people want power. Some people want to be controlled. Most fall somewhere in the middle. It's weak minded people that polarize issues, and ultimately make these idiotic, completely flawed social systems based off speculative "truth".

    You can get power any number of ways, and although the popular modern ones consist of power granted by the people, that means people can just as easily take it away. Why do you think dictators and tyrants are so successful in their life-long pursuits of dominance? They don't ask for power, they take it.

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    1. is freedom power? i just want to be freeeee!

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  36. Monday, October 22, 2012. Woooaaah - wha'happen' to the weekend. Damn - gotta give up dem drugz....

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  37. Who's dutch around here?

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  38. Is speaking dutch enough?

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    1. Yeah, where'd you learn it? You spoke dutch the other day.

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  39. deze charmante kerel

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  40. :) Good Morning Sociopathworld!!!!!


    Hey Virus did you see my replies yesterday? I kept trying to post them but they wouldnt post.... Maybe the site was too busy?

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    1. You're so stupid it must be painful, Rich. Do you even find your mouth to feed yourself?

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    2. Drugs aren't doing a very good job on your brain it seems.

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    3. LOL! Well, I can definatly agree with you there.....

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    4. When there's over 200 comments you have to click the 'load more' link at the bottom of the page.

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  41. Anyway for the question of if I get along with my mother here is the answer......

    My mother and I get along great actually. Unfortunatly (for me) I still live at home so we interact on a daily basis. I would say we have alot better than most parent/child relationships because Iam always honest with her about everything I do, I have no need or reason to lie to her. I love her dearly, without her I think I would be a DEFINATE psychopath if I was left in the hands of my "father" to raise me.

    On the sexuality part, Iam "normal" for a guy, iam heterosexual. But I think the years and years of heavy opiate abuse has taken a big toll on my natural testosterone levels. Also, one of the side effects from methadone is little to no sex drive which is true for me, but when I have a girlfriend or a "buddy" I have no rpoblem at all with preformance and can last alot longer than most guys in bed because my nerves are so dulled down from being on methadone........ Sometimes I take Testosterone Cypionate and Trenbolone Acetate (steroids) to boost my natural testosterone levels. Right now I have a vial of 10mL's of 200mg's of Testtosterone Cypionate, A vial of 4mL of Testosterone Cypionate 100mg's per mL and 9mL of Trenboloe Acetate 100mg's per mL. I buy hormone powders from Chinese suppliers and brew the steroids at home myself, it is EXTREMELY EASY that anybody witht eh right hormone powder could do with and it oil takes 3 ingredients, and one of the ingrediients is just simple oil like Sesame Oil or Canola Oil, you have to suspend the testosterone and steroids in oil instead of water. I take Intramuscular Injections whenever I feel like I need them or when Iam working out very hard ;)

    That helps to boost the sex drive as well.......

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    1. Rich,

      How is your Mom with your drug use/abuse?

      ...and "good" morning, by the way.

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    2. She is fine with me smoking weed, and she LOVES THAT IAM ON METHADONE! She actually dosent even want me to come off of it, she begs me to stay on it for fear of relapse which has happened to me so many times (relapse) that I cant even count them all. She is very supportive about the methadone program.

      PS- I almost forgot but today is day 21 of not smoking weed and since I bought one of the $1 THC (marijuana) drug tests from the dollar store Iam going to try it out today and see if my system is clean, if it isint clean today, I get tested monthly at my methadone program but I already had my test at the beginning of this month so I have to wait until november before they can test me again at the clinic at least, but if I really wanna know ill just go get another test from the dollar store (if my urine isint clean by today)............

      I WILL KEEP YOU ALL UPDATED ON THE RESULTS! Next time I gotta pee, which wont be long cause ive been drinking water all morning, iam gonna do the test! Wish me luck!

      :)

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    3. Rich,

      My experiences with drug testin gin the service is that THC can stay in your sytem (being broken down) and visible traces of the chemicals it turns into detectable for as much as 30 days. But I would like to knoe what the cheap test results were.

      Your Mom is an enabler? Has she always been or has her views changed as you haven grown? I can tell she cares for you very much. Have you ever commited a negative act, such as theft, against your Mother as a result of your addiction?

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    4. Rich, watch out for passive smoke when your step father is smoking. I failed a urine test a few years ago a week after being in the same room where a joint was smoked.

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    5. Hey Rich,

      My computer access for a little while is going to be limited (hence no actual account for posting right now)... I really am interested in your situation. I have known many like you with some members of my family being those and would love to carry this on. I think email might be better for me, but this is all about you "friend". If you would like: themaxcady@yahoo.com is the only email I think I have left which hasn't been deleted, erased, or lost period. I will get back to interenet cap time to time but it's going to be hit and miss for awhile. These computers suck on the web, but I can get the emails just fine. Just a thought.

      Going to a football game that my old High School is playing at today. I might see people I haven't seen in over 20 years... this could be interesting.

      I'll talk to you soon, Rich.

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    6. Cool, I will definatly email you, I love that movie "Cape Fear" (from your Max Cady referance ;) Thanks for your email bud, I will definatly keep in touch


      UPDATE EVERYBODY- I just did my urine test after 21 days of no smoking (today is day 21) and I STILL have THC in my system :(

      But I really didnt think it would be gone so soon, I was just curious. The fact I was a heavy long term weed smoker (11 years total, 9-10 years daily) they say it can take UP TO 90 days......... But Iam not discouraged, I just gotta keep not smoking and it will get outta my system sooner or later...... I will keep you all updated on when it does :)

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    7. Also, have fun at the game today! You may see some hotties you used to have a crush on LOL!

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    8. Anon @ 7:02- Really? Thanks alot for that tip....... I love to sit on the patio and smell the weed burn when he is smoking but it is not close to me or anything...... I never knew you could fail a test that way so thank you.......

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    9. Virus- Sorry I never saw this question

      "Your Mom is an enabler? Has she always been or has her views changed as you haven grown? I can tell she cares for you very much. Have you ever commited a negative act, such as theft, against your Mother as a result of your addiction?"

      So I will answer it now......

      My mom didnt like it when I was young and smoking and she used to yell at me for it until I was about 17 years old, at that time I used to sit and smoke with her husband so there wasnt really much she could say unless she wanted to yell at him for smoking too........ But when I was young she really didnt like it.

      My mother dosent really consider the methadone program to be a bad thing, she always tells me how good I do and how good I am when iam on the program so she dosent really think of it as a drug that gets me high, and methadone dosent really get me high, if I take a xanax I get a SLIGHT buzz, but no severe nodding off or strong euphoria or anything like that.

      Iam quite proud to say that I have NEVER EVER stolen from my mother or stepfather even while I was using the oxycodone and other short acting opiates....... I think that for me the pain of withdrawal was better than the guilt of stealing from my family, so I would rather be in withdrawals than steal, which lead to me being in ALOT of withdrawals when I was out, but now that iam off the oxycodone and short acting opiates IAM SO GLAD that OI never had to steal to support my habit, I went to doctors and sold weed and pills to support it instead, Iam not proud of it but Iam not guilty over it either, I would be guilty if I had to steal though.......

      Alot of my friends have ripped off their families by pawning their jewelery, chainsaws or construction equipment, and even generators (alot of people have power generators down here because we get alot of hurricanes and the power goes out through some of them....) One of my friends mothers went in his room and found all his pawn papers and slips than went to look in her attic and her generator which costed hundreds of dollars and alot more equipment was gone......... I never really had to just because I didnt pay street prices for pills, I went to pill mills and crooked pain doctors and bought me meds cheap from pharmacies....... What my friends would pay $10 for on the street, I would pay 80 cents for in the pharmacy, which is what a 30mg Roxicodone pill used to go for in Sotuh FL, now they go for $30 which is a DOLLAR A MILLIGRAM! That is fucking crazy and I dont see how anybody could afford street prices. If I didnt have crooked docs I wouldnt have had nearly as bad of a habit as I did.........

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    10. Rich, yeah, it is true the urine tests are that sensitive and as you know the weed takes a long time to leave your system. I had to do the tests as a condition of parole and nearly ended up back inside because of passive smoke.

      Delete
    11. Jeez Anon I had no idea passive smoke could do that, it makes sense though when they talk about "secondhand smoke" from cigarettes and how it can get nicotine in your blood and fry your lungs, so I guess weed is the same way.

      Thank you for that information.......

      Plus my methadone clinic dosent just do the "dipstick" tests, they actually take our urine and send it out to a lab, through UPS or Fedex and get the results two days later......

      I appreciate the advice and thank you again! Iam glad you didnt violate your parole, that would be a NIGHTMARE.........

      Delete
  42. Zoe
    Thank you for going out on a limb for me, last night, and getting yourself called raunchy names. Love you.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I wouldn't claim Hitler a sociopath purely for the fact that his entire campaign and life rested on his insecurity and over-emotionalism."

    I thought sosiopaths were under-emotional- please explain

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought (and I could be wrong here) that Hitler's psychiatric problem was his narcissism. I believe that I read somewhere that Hitler was a "Malignant Narcissist", instead of a Sociopath/Psychopath, but I could be wrong........ He does seem pretty narcissistic though with all of his followers and all........

      Delete
  44. The quote that came to me when I read this was "That which you seek to control controls you"

    However, otoh, one has to have control of one's own power or one's life is a train wreck. I can attest to this because I gave up my power. That was the single wrong thing I did( if I could hone it down to one thing)
    My life became a sewer. I know that sounds like a strong word, but it is what happened, when you take off the exterior accoutrements.

    My life was a horrible wasteland in which I wandered, ravaged.

    I appreciate this article( and all you do) ME!

    ReplyDelete
  45. This post is completely correct; it's important to always keep a clear objective in mind. If you don't have one, you end up doing stupid things that will make you lose power. What a lot of these rulers did not understand is that while fear is power, a certain type of fear will lead to hatred. The common masses greatest desire is to not to be oppressed; if you oppress them to the point of no return, they'll fight back, thus weakning your power.

    ReplyDelete
  46. "Absolute power, corrupts absolutely"

    Power = control

    Does this famous statement hold true over the self? If so, how might absolute control/power over yourself lead to a corrupted state?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. controle is an illusion and i'm an illusionist

      Delete
    2. You are a speck on a mite.

      Delete
    3. power for me is letting my fear keep people from getting inside me. so i use this fear as a defense mechanism against possible vulnerability..

      This system (power over self in the form of defense mechanism) is corrupt because i do not win my intimacy.

      I do wonder if i won intimacy whether I would be sorry.

      Delete
  47. the most intimate thing a sociopath can do is get inside your head

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did I get inside yours?

      Delete
    2. That is the most intimate thing anyone can do...

      Delete
  48. Replies
    1. Very relaxing song... if you learn something along the way, is it wasted?

      Delete
    2. Hmmm
      That question is what makes up philosophies, dear friend.

      Delete
    3. Yes... and I told my parents in the midst of their divorce, if you learned something it was wasted. If you didn't you are an idiot. I have tried to keep that philosphy throughout for the past 20+ years.

      Your theme, Themes, was spot on though. I nearly spoke those same words to Mrs. T... as I walked out the door. Thank you.

      Delete
  49. Zoe: I got bored and didn't see your responses til just now. Let's address them shall we?

    "the assumption being that you know absolutely everything about it? i knew my comment would evoke a reaction from you. you've built an identity around your self-harming and knock down anyone who threatens that.

    Erin, I'm not interested in being polite. I'm interested in being real.

    no. you're interested in protecting your self-image"



    I have never claimed to know everything about self-harm, b/c it's a personal experience. However, I do know that if you've never self-harmed, than you can not understand it. You can postulate on it, but you can't actually know. Supporting a romanticized delusion of self-harm doesn't help, it makes it worse. Making it out to be more or different than it is, is perpetuating the problem, not facing the reality. If you've never done it, it's never been something that has affected your life, you simply can't get it completely.

    Also did you miss the part where I have actively counseled people with Self-harming issues for the past 6 years? I mean hundreds of people. I have a good idea of the things that drive a person to self-harm b/c I know my own experience and I actually listen to the experiences of others.

    I’ve built an identity around self-harm? How is that exactly? It’s something that is a part of my life experience, but my identity certainly doesn’t depend on it. It most definitely hasn’t been built on it. I am actively working to come to a point in my life where my maladaptive coping mechanisms are no longer a part of it. It seems to me that while I am very capable of acknowledging, analyzing, and understanding my past behavior and how they’ve affected me, I am also /not/ trying to hold on to it as something I still need.
    Interested in protecting my self-image? What is my self-image exactly? I am certainly going to stand up for myself and my beliefs. My self-image here? In a place called Sociopath World? The thing I love about this place is that I don’t have to pretend to be something I’m not. I can have my calm days. I can act out and voice what I’m feeling when I’m less than calm. I can say and be exactly how I feel. Because absolutely no one gives a shit about me, and I have zero emotional investment in most of you. I don’t care what you think of me Zoe. Your opinion means nothing.

    What you don’t like, is that I think your opinion is not informed. Because it isn’t. You don’t like that I’m challenging your ideas and you can’t deal with being wrong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haven- You are HOT!!!!!! ;) I went into the forum and saw your "portrait picture", VERY NICE! You are a cutie!

      :)

      Delete
    2. where is her picture?

      Delete
    3. Not really sure what you're talking about.

      Delete
    4. He's scamming you. My portrait picture is the same icon image I always use.

      Delete
    5. I have zero emotional investment in most of you.

      I do care about you, Haven and I sincerely hope that I'm not in this most part. :( I think about slicing them wrists open now, I really do, Haven.

      Delete
    6. Hey Extremity. I don't actually know you well at all. You seem fun but I can't say I have an investment in you. Maybe that will change in time.

      ::Shrug::

      Delete
    7. Why thank you. :P

      I'm bouncing now, have a nice day/night.

      *hugs*

      Delete
    8. haven
      the only thing that makes me real is the reaction of others
      do borderlines (you) feel the same?

      Delete
    9. The only thing that I feel right now is that your attempt at over simplification of borderline behavior is not very good.

      Delete
    10. extremity and his pathetic manipulation skills LOL

      Delete
    11. ofc i'm pathetic
      that's why people pity the sociopath

      Delete
    12. and that's how pity play works

      Delete
    13. change the game or lose it?
      what do you do?
      next game?
      take it on the chin

      Delete
    14. i've shown you mine
      now show me yours

      Delete
    15. That is what I was talking about Haven I have never seen your real pic, just the portrait pic of you..... You are cute ;)

      Anonymous- Go to the top and click on the forum and look for haven's posts, it has a portrait somebody drew of her.......

      Delete
    16. OOPS!!!!! You are totally right Haven, Iam sorry.....

      I got it confused with somebody in the forum names RAVEN! LOL

      Anyway here is a thread with the portrait I was talking about.......

      http://www.sociopathworld.com/p/forum.html

      Delete
    17. tell me rich
      change the game or lose it?
      what do you do?
      next game?
      take it on the chin?

      Delete
    18. Haha! Yeah... Haven and I are not the same person, Rich. The portrait was done of me by Piles.

      Delete
    19. ::laughs:: Yeah. Raven is Eden. While she is lovely we look nothing alike.

      Delete
    20. So what have you been doing all these months, Haven? All work?

      Delete
    21. Work has been a huge part. My responsibilities have been pretty intense and my projects are moving forward really quickly.

      Mostly just hanging out with friends since I broke up with Tech Boy. I did the Bahcelorette Party/Wedding for my friend, and then moved to a new condo which is pretty awesome. Getting decorations and supplies for a party I'm throwing next weekend in a little bit. That's kind of exciting. I haven't thrown a party for a while. Should be a ton of fun, plus I get to geek out. Mostly I've been kind of lame, reading a lot, doing artsy stuff, not being real social.

      How about you? Anything fun that takes you out of the salons?

      Delete
    22. When did you and tech boy become official in the first place? Damn, woman. How long has it been since we talked? Haha! I guess I've missed a lot.

      How about you? Anything fun that takes you out of the salons?

      Not yet. I haven't had much of a social life for a while. My birthday is on Monday, and I totally forgot. One of my sisters reminded me. But you know... it's better for me to focus on one thing at a time. I don't juggle relationships and career very well. One of the two inevitably suffers somewhere down the line if I have to do both. I'd rather be making money than keeping friends or mates. It's been that way for coming up on a decade now.

      Delete
    23. http://www.skoften.net/index/video/vies_elleboog_sappen

      Delete
    24. I don't juggle relationships and career very well.

      I get this; I'm no good at that either. My mind tends to be all or nothing.

      Delete
    25. Goodness it's been a while for sure! I go through periods of being really really social, so little internet activity. Then periods of being pretty introverted and anti-social like I am now, which leaves me much more internet time.

      Tech Boy and I never saw anyone other than each other from the first time we started hanging out. I think he started using the Girlfriend word in May? Something like that. I'm surprisingly comfortable with my decision to end this. I'm happier and less crazed when I'm single.Well, often happier, anyways.

      Happy early birthday!

      Juggling relationships and work can definitely be tough. My job isn't the kind that I can or need to bring home with me though, so once I close my office door for the day it's pretty easy for me to leave all that there and move into the a space of doing absolutely anything else.

      I've done the all school, no friends thing. Pure focus on the one and I was lonely in the most miserable way. I'm all about the balance these days. I have a huge number of "friends", but I prefer to keep my inner circle pretty small. It's easier for me if I can just focus on a couple good friendships and not try to do the constant have to do everything with each other all the time. My friends also have to accept that I can and will fall off the planet for periods of time and just need to be alone. It helps.

      Delete
    26. Anon @ 10:53- I would either change the game, or wait til the next.... I hate losing :)

      Delete
    27. LOL @ Raven AND Haven! I got mixed up! Nice portrait though Raven :)

      Delete
    28. Thank you Rich. You can tell that to Piles. She was the talent.

      @Medusa Yeah... I sometimes get very frustrated that I can't manage both. I know my limits though, and that's a good thing. I no longer push myself past my limits anymore to maintain good mental health. Haha!

      @Haven Do you think you will ever come to a place where relationships don't make you nuts?

      Delete
    29. @Raven... Borderline or Not relationships make everyone nuts at times. If my last one was any indication then I'm definitely getting less crazed and less reactive to things that used to set me over the edge. I'll get there. Frankly, it's kind of dull. I know it's for the better, but sometimes it feels less alive.

      Delete
    30. LOL Piles didn't paint the portrait of Raven just like all of the rest. I can't believe you all believed she did.

      Delete
    31. I know that, doll. But in the PD world, relationships bring about a special brand of nuts. I absolutely can't stand the idea of a full on relationship. And the more out of commission I am, the less attractive the idea of ever having one again, becomes. Some people benefit from a nice long break from a mate. I think my tolerance get's lower, and my fuse shorter. I have known for some time now that I'm better off on my own. Every now and then I forget, and I fool myself into thinking otherwise. But I come to my senses fairly quickly.

      Detached relationships are what works for me. The kind where no one expects anything much from me. What a fucking lazy cunt I am! ;)

      Delete
    32. OH yeah, I know the PD world and relationship special crazy. I'm pretty sure my PD defined it. But yanno, I think I'll be able to function better and better every time I try.

      I'm also in that place where I really just don't want to try right now.

      And hey! Our society has all these preconceived notions of what a relationship is and is not supposed to be.... and frankly, that's all bullshit. A relationship "should" be exactly what works for you, not what society thinks should work for you =) So go ahead and be fucking lazy.

      Delete
    33. @haven

      i'm not pretending to know anything at all about self harming. my comment on it was directed to monica and based only on my experiences in life. yet you jumped in as if i had been playing with your very own personal ball that you had to take back. well it wasn't yours. and. had nothing to do with you.

      but if you really think i'm uninformed, inform me. i don't respect emotional reactions.

      Delete
    34. also, nothing i say here diminishes your experiences in life in any way. so why the attack?

      to expect me to walk carefully around the topic of self-harm because it's a land mine with you, is bullshit. i grew up with that. i suspect there are others here did.

      so i'll continue to be as uninformed and free as i like. feel free to inform me. or attack if you prefer. your choice.

      Delete
    35. oh and raven was partly dead on about me attacking her because i was pissed at you. a part of me thought well if i "attack" haven who's been free from self-harm for 2 years, maybe she'll start cutting herself again?

      you mentioned several times that you've counselled so many people for so many years - yet you've only been free from self-harming for 2? how does that work? i am uninformed here. i know nothing about how counselling works, but i were an alcoholic and went to a counsellor i would hope that they didn't have a drinking problem (unless they were managing it).

      Delete
    36. "yet you jumped in as if i had been playing with your very own personal ball that you had to take back."

      Zoe, this is your assumption and how you experienced it. It is not actually sentiment that I put into it.

      I don't expect you walk around the topic carefully. I don't care what you do. You have every right to do exactly as you will.

      Sometimes I have less controlled days, sometimes I'm more controlled. More often then not here Monica says things that make my eyes bleed and it just pisses me off so I respond as I feel. Sometimes there's collateral to that.

      I don't care if you don't respect emotional reactions. Hell, I don't respect them very often, but they're a part of my personality and this forum is actually one place where I don't feel the need to pretend that everything is peachy and like I have to present a constantly pleasant face while bottling up. Having a place to vent and release the petty bullshit I feel sometimes (and yes, I do realize that my emotional outbursts here are utterly unimportant) is good for me. I enjoy it. And if the mood strikes me, I'm going to keep doing it.

      That said. I've written at least 50 pages of detailed information about self-harm on my blog. It's not necessarily complicated, but if you want a detailed perspective there's really too much to get into here. Especially since this is not the forum for receptivity of self-harm.

      Delete
    37. ::laughs:: Zoe, that you think attacking me could make me cut again is really funny. Really, really funny. You have zero emotional effect on me. Nothing you say inspires any kind of sense of self-loathing or that I should punish myself.

      I haven't self-harmed consistently. I've had long periods of time where I stopped, but like many behaviors, I relapsed in more stressful times. Counseling isn't the same as giving advice either. Sometimes people just need to know someone is there, that is someone is willing to listen, and that they are being heard. They just need to get through the night to fight the urge to do something that is harmful. Even if I'm not fully recovered from something it is something I'm perfectly capable of understanding and being extremely empathetic towards. It may not seem like much on paper, but just being there when someone is in extreme distress and allowing them the time to talk about something to someone that actually understands and won't judge them for it, is helpful beyond measure.

      Delete
    38. zero *significant* emotional effect.

      Delete
    39. okay, i am so busy i come here to decompress but don't get to read all the comments, so may be way off.

      More often then not here Monica says things that make my eyes bleed and it just pisses me off so I respond as I feel. Sometimes there's collateral to that.

      my comments when i was a kid made my parents eyes bleed. even when we were right. i never understood that. why you can't be free to say whatever stupid thing you like?

      i would love to read your blog but am overloaded until december. can't wait for 2013.

      feel free to explode haven. but keep in mind there are those of us who grew up with that and may call you on it.

      Delete
    40. Sweetie, I see it as I do it. In RL I constantly keep myself in check. Here, I'm not going to do it. You should probably keep in mind that I am Borderline and emotional volatility is going to happen. That's not a sympathy ploy, I don't need that, but calling me on something that is at the core of my personality disorder is also kind of funny. I know darling. Here, in this place, I really just don't care.

      Delete
    41. I don't recall Haven exploding. She wasn't speaking to Monica any differently than you are speaking to her right now, Zoe. I'd say she was far more polite to her than you were towards me. You are pretty hilarious. Your only call certain people out on their bullshit. Other people, you give total immunity for the same behavior or far worse behavior. You don't play fair anymore than any of the rest of us, and I swear this is not me attacking you. It would just be nice if you would take a good look at your own bullshit for a change, and maybe put your own self in check, if that's how you think other posters here should be.



      Delete
    42. Heck Haven
      When you said I was the most selfish person you had ever seen, I did not care. I call that G-R-O-W-T-H ~

      Delete
    43. raven, get on board. i was referring to her comment to me on the self-harm thing.

      i usually put myself in check. just not this weekend. :)

      yeah i've given immunity to monica and vice versa. so what? no different from you and haven.

      Delete
    44. When this place turns into Etiquette World, I'll put a little more effort into not bothering to show up any more. Until then, I'm just going to keep on saying whatever I happen to feel is relevant to my personal preferences at the time.


      Monica, you misspelled idiot.

      Delete
    45. You should probably keep in mind that I am Borderline and emotional volatility is going to happen.

      hmm i think my mother and her sisters were/are borderline. they'd get all crazy and were at their worst with one another. they actually cooled off a bit when they got older. they said it was their nerves, mood swings. my mother said that she had two very different sides, like two minds, and sometimes was one way and sometimes the other. she wanted something she was unstoppable. i think she learned how to channel that emotional energy and use it to get what she wanted.

      Delete
    46. pardon my bad grammar... this is da best place for procrastinating!

      Delete
    47. see you snipe at monica. why don't you snipe at raven? why target only some people. bully!

      Delete
    48. Exactly. No different than me and Haven. So what have you to teach us here, Zoe? Nothing. You tell me to stop coming here to shit on Monica when I've been gone for over a month, plus I had stopped talking to her or about her for quite some time before I took my break from this toxic place. Despite that, Monica went on accusing me of doing shit I wasn't doing, or being people that aren't me, spreading lies about me and my daughter, and obsessing over me like a crack head, before and after I left.

      Did you even once tell her that you were bored of her constantly shitting on me, and to say something cool?

      I would like you to stay out of my issues with Monica. I know I can't make you, but you are not the one she keeps doing this to, and so you have no place in telling me how I should react to it.

      You speak on how Haven is doing exactly as your parents did, and as a result of you being sick of this treatment, she should expect people to call her out on her bullshit. Well Monica has treated me the same way my parents have treated me. And I have just as much right to call her out on her bullshit, as you think you do.

      Say what ever you want, but nothing changes the fact that what you say is total hypocrisy. We all do it here, but some of us are a little more willing to be honest about it, instead of acting like we are the righteous.

      Delete
    49. Eden
      You embarrassed yourself because you acted like a first class jerk. Don't blame Zoe or me for your being a turd of immense dimensions.
      Start taking responsibility for yourself, GURL.

      Delete
    50. I don't snipe at Raven b/c I like Raven and she's never irritated the piss out of me.

      Delete
    51. Fuck off Monica. You take responsibility for your actions. Every attack I've made on you for more than 6 months now has been completely provoked by you. Maybe I should come here and cry every day about my mommy so that people will pat me on the back for treating you the way you treat me.

      Delete
    52. P.S. my snipe on Erin simply because I found it funny. Also, to highlight the fact that I'm going to say whatever I want.

      Who cares? No one really.

      Delete
    53. Dr Franklin F and Eric FomentileOctober 21, 2012 at 10:58 AM

      Did anyone call me( us)?

      Delete
    54. I have a merit based sniping system.

      Delete
    55. Correction: Every attack for like almost a year now. I forget what month it is. I leave you alone... and you start sniping and sniping, and lying, and accusing, and you do it over and over, until I want to snap your neck. And that's when I go after you, Monica.

      Delete
    56. Haha! I like you too Haven. I think I might have sniped at you a little at least once or twice though. It was just a misunderstanding though, I think.

      Delete
    57. Raven
      We, both, did things. How about we put it behind us?

      Delete
    58. Fomentila, there may be a question for you at tha tail end of the comment section on the dehumanization post.

      Delete
    59. Raven
      We, both, did things. How about we put it behind us?


      You have a deal. But I want you to keep your word. No more accusing me of attacking you when I'm not. Or of insulting people when I'm not even here. Deal? I haven't been the one doing that. It sucks to get accused of crimes you haven't committed. It sets me off like a fucking lunatic.

      If I have something to address with you, or anyone else here for that matter, I do it under my own name. I deserve at least that much credit.

      Delete
    60. It's cool Raven. I'm sure I get under everyone's skin at some point. I'm not always the easiest to deal with. So no worries.

      Delete
  50. You can't fuck with Haven <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. for fucking i'll go to hell
      they know how to party
      everything you can't do in haven
      is what they like doing in hell

      Delete
    2. Actually she's really easy to fuck with

      Delete
    3. is that because we have flexible self?

      Delete
    4. Haven I do not mind flexibility. It makes my life fresh and interesting all the time. The only times I don't like it are when my new selves contradict my core personality too much. Then I am mush.

      Haven do you get confused?

      Delete
    5. Sounds more like a problem of cognitive dissonance that you're trying to make fit flexible self (and also like you're still trying to hard b/c that's not how flexible self with BPD works) .

      That's never really been my biggest problem. I certainly haven't had a problem with that in ages.

      I'm not DID, I just flex to fit my situations, not forget who I am. It's not like putting on a suit, where I am only certain things in my business suit, and others in my party suit, and another set of things in my home with family suit.

      Situations where there's overlap between two groups that don't usually interact and I'm not sure how to be, that can get awkward. But if someone mentions that I seem to be acting different I usually just make up an excuse or explain it away as an anomaly. I notice it now, but before when I wasn't as self-aware I didn't even realize anything odd was going on at all. I wasn't an active choice, it just happened based on instinctual perception. I've never felt like mush.

      Delete
    6. Hmm no I really hold 2 thoughts in my head at once almost all the time, sometimes 3. I go back over a situation over and over and I don't know how I should feel about something. I just know I want to make "it" work. But I choose the lie so I can give myself permission to do something that is not quite healthy. THen I check in with people because I don't trust my judgment. It's like I'm a retard. I ask strangers or doorman what to do and they assess right away, saying i try tofit square peg into round hole. I want my life in such a way but what I want does not exist unless I go to great lengths to change my perception. -I want my wishes, and I want my perception to be the truth.

      So I will tell myself something is the truth so I don't get disappointed even though I know deep down it isn't true. It is lying to myself purposely. I know deep down I will get disappointed. it is playing with risk and makes me feel like I am floating to the point I might as well be dead. -- Nothing is what it is because by the times i am done with it, I am confused. Then I feel like mush and even welcome other people deciding for me. I go from caring about a situation to not knowing if I should bother to care. It is a weakened state. I only know how I feel about it until after the fact, until after the rollercoaster, until I have made a mess. This is why I don't trust myself with my feelings with others anymore. I am not consistently one way or the other. I don't know how I feel and I get confused. I have to force myself to do nothing. It is the only way to avoid mush.

      This is conitive dissonance?

      Delete
    7. i should have edited that . sorry.

      Delete
  51. http://www.skoften.net/index/uploaded/sapperdeflap

    ReplyDelete
  52. Haven
    If you want to continue our discussion from yesterday, I wanted to respond to something you said. You said everyone has self harming thoughts.

    This statement helped me to see, something, profound. That is that I have throw away, all but perfect responses within myself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perfect? What the hell is a 'perfect response'?

      You don't have to 'throw them out' because that almost sounds like shame.

      How about just let them pass through instead, whilst being mindful, not reactive, and not getting attached to them.

      Delete
    2. YES
      It is frigging shame and a dollop dose of it, Medusa.

      Delete
    3. I like how you put that Medusa. Mindfulness is important.Acknowledge, don't judge, and let them go.

      It's standard DBT therapy practice actually. I wrote on it a while back.

      Delete
  53. YES, the acknowledgement and let go. The thing that freaks me out is how selfish, self centered, petty, judgmental, small minded and low down rotten we all are :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! And we would all like to think we are the complete opposite of those things, when it is the furthest thing from the truth!

      Delete
    2. Yes, you got it, Rich. It is a shock to see oneself in bas relief *sigh*

      Delete
  54. This post was really interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  55. pretty this was ukan's first comment lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. pretty sure, i mean. cuz he ain't pretty that's for sure

      Delete
  56. First of all, if you see a jerk, you have to know that the jerk is doing the best he can with what he has. You must protect yourself against such a person, of course. The strength of your own boundaries is the only way.

    However, in terms of thinking what is going on with that person. A person has a natural homeostatic mechanism, which works in the body and the mind.

    The body tries to maintain balance, as best as it can. Even a dreaded disease such as cancer is a homeostatic mechanism, if one looks at it from a homeopathic point of view.

    The emotional make-up of a person is the same as the physical when it comes to trying to maintain balance and the best health possible, at all times.

    If you see a person with a PD, that person has twisted and warped from outside( and inside experiences)

    That person is doing the best he can. Wisdom is knowing this and not taking what he does, personally.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You've come a long way, baby.

      Delete
    2. Awww That made my day, Medusa <3

      Delete
    3. I almost never read anything from "How To Heal a PD" because it's usually bullshit, and even though I'd say a decent chunk of that was still bullshit, it's definitely progress.

      Delete
    4. It is not bullshit, TNP.

      Delete
    5. How to Heal, I am afraid.

      I am doing well crying then the next day feeling relief. But I am afraid this cycle will not end. I think my friends think I am getting very healthy, which is a good sign, and I am preparing to go for my dreams again without so much fear and resistance. But I am terrified I will give upon myself again.

      But I feel great stabbing pain inside which feels like love for myself.

      <3


      Delete
    6. LOL good one

      Delete
    7. "First of all, if you see a jerk, you have to know that the jerk is doing the best he can with what he has."

      Bullshit.

      "The strength of your own boundaries is the only way."

      Bullshit.

      "The body tries to maintain balance, as best as it can. Even a dreaded disease such as cancer is a homeostatic mechanism, if one looks at it from a homeopathic point of view."

      Bullshit.

      "The emotional make-up of a person is the same as the physical when it comes to trying to maintain balance and the best health possible, at all times."

      Bullshit.

      "If you see a person with a PD, that person has twisted and warped from outside( and inside experiences)"

      Bullshit.

      So like I said, most of it is bullshit. I do like the gist of the explanation though, it's the details that are lacking.

      Delete
    8. Still too long =/ I really need to figure out the character limit for the display of names in the forum...

      Delete
    9. You picked it apart and then said that you liked it, TNP.

      Delete
    10. The how to heal a pd at 3:08 is not the one I was addressing, or else it did not understand/was intoxicated .

      I wrote the truth. I appreciate Healy's efforts. The stabbing pain is death and love at the same time and it is sacred. It is real and I am living it.

      Don't LOL at healing.

      I don't like anything woowoo. It isn't.

      Delete
    11. Anon 5:36
      You were not making fun of me? I thought you were. Sorry.

      Delete
    12. I did like it, because I understood the point you were trying to convey, sans the bullshit.

      Delete
    13. that's funny. I thought you were making fun of me.

      I have noticed that if you fuck around too much here nobody will take you seriously. THis is part of gaslighting too, imho

      Delete
    14. TnP cannt appreciate things other people appreciate. He is not tolerant and has little patience for other people. He should go to slaughter.

      Delete
    15. It makes me sad that people can't just have a place to be themselves without someone that doesn't know them, trying to fix them.

      Generically.

      Without getting to know their individual problems or the origins of what caused their PD in the first place.

      Delete
    16. I don't want to leave people in the pain of a PD, to the small extent which I can struggle to climb out of it.
      Leaving someone in that struggle is not love. It is not truth. It is seeing someone in a garbage heap and walking by.

      Delete
  57. Are there women here who take testosterone?

    ReplyDelete
  58. "I notice I lie for no apparent reason when I am around my sociopath. He asks innocuous questions and something says in my mind "detour him"

    ReplyDelete
  59. “Someday, somewhere - anywhere, unfailingly, you’ll find yourself, and that, and only that, can be the happiest or bitterest hour of your life.”
    — Pablo Neruda

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think one can find oneself entirely. i believe that this is the beauty of my life. I will never experience every situation, however Every new situation will define me more. ANd i still may do the opposite thing the next time.

      I think this ^ is a problem for people with trust issues and projective identification.

      Delete
  60. "I think some sociopaths secretly do want to "meet their match" and get beaten too."

    Yeah. It's not a good relationship unless you're killing each other a little bit everyday.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like a good dancing partner, makes the music sound much sweeter.

      Delete
    2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=903Rcq-KJS4

      Delete

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