From a socio reader:
S&M is cleaner sex, at times. I take it to a totally different unnecessary level (well, when I was sexual, haven't been in a while now), and make it messy with the blood that was shed, but S&M, is mental fucking more than anything. The masochist already has this fetish to be hurt and disrespected, which is a mental issue in its self, why would any one enjoy being disrespected and humiliated, and it is up to me to deliver this mind fuck that they want. I know of some Dommes that actually have sex with their pets, and customers, but for me I only want it to be mental. I will be able to control them anyway I want, and I am using sex (as in sexuality, being a woman) to do this. Power isn't created with the actual act unless it is rape, and even though rape is literal power over another, it isn't a meaning of creating power.
I actually can't stand sex. You know this much. Others were confused about being an asexual but engaging in S&M, and sadistic sex. It is definitely over rated (the act of sex). I can get my orgasm with some perverted thoughts and a dildo. I don't like people enough to have them hump me for minutes. Sex with women is far better, but I relate more to a male, and I love watching their reactions to my touch. Again though, I am not into vanilla sex (regular sex) that much, and I have cut off my sadistic sex completely.
I watched this old HBO series called OZ, and there was an inmate on death row for killing two women through strangulation or suffocation during sex. He confessed to killing over 39 women, but told the priest that he "loved" them all, and that he truly "loved" all types of women. When asked why kill them if you love them he replied, "Loving someone means they own part of you, and I refuse to be owned by anyone."