Friday, April 8, 2011

Acting the part (part 1)

From a reader:
I've had a fun experience a few weeks ago, and I thought I'd share.

I've moved from working in academia, where those in power see those below them as either dismissible and squish-able piss-ants or disciples, to a company where people are more on equal footing. Over the years, I learned to adapt the sweet and lovable little girl act I had designed for adults to a cute an innocent chick act for guy-games to the wide-eyed mentee act in academia. My so-sweet-I'm-quirky (and-non-threatening!) status has always served me well. I was never suspect when my shenanigans could have pointed toward me. Teflon. I was free do make happen whatever I'd like. Now that I'm in industry and nearing my 30's, I don't think I can quite pull that persona off without about 10 cats and dresses with shoulder pads and tiny flowers. I recognize this, but it is still the character I've trained to slip into when my personality is on auto-pilot. I had a birthday a few weeks ago, and some of my new colleagues took me out to lunch. At the end of the meal, a personalized cake arrived, complements of the team. Showing over-gratitude endears people to me as long as it seems genuine (and I definitely pull off genuine), so when paying I held up the remnants of the cake and told the cashier (with a big smile) "My friends bought me a cake for my birthday! They are wonderful!"

Here's the fun part. Co-worker 1 leaned over to co-worker 2 and said, "And she says she doesn't have Aspergers." ! :) !!!!!! This was in reference to an earlier comment as Co-worker 1 does, indeed, have Aspergers and we had been talking about it. As a side note, co-worker 2 is most likely a p/s type, but much younger, so we have non-colliding orbits. Probably more on her at another time. This is thrilling. I'm going to have to work a little to pull off mild Aspergers, but Aspie Co-worker 1 making those comments certainly won't hurt. It seems like this would give me cover on any non-empath-like comments I make or actions I take, while allowing me to appear to be a cute little Aspie. :) This will require that I encourage the development of the comments from Co-worker 1, but luckily both 1 and 2 are pleasant to have around, so crafting her message and my image should be some fun.
M.E.: I love this. I try to play the aspie card whenever possible and appropriate. Aspies themselves are a little harder to trick. They can recognize that you are different from other neurotypicals, but they also recognize that you're not quite like them either, without necessarily being able to put a finger on why exactly.

115 comments:

  1. "M.E.: I love this. I try to play the aspie card whenever possible"

    Your doing a good job.

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  2. Mandusas Scrotum SpeakingApril 8, 2011 at 4:13 AM

    Stfu anon

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  3. GOOOODBYE HORSEYSSSSSSApril 8, 2011 at 4:23 AM

    I'm flying over youuuuuuuu.

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  4. Psychopaths are just evil aspies.

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  5. It's funny how S types who frequent here know many other S's, Aspies, Narcs and such.

    There were only one or two people, in my whole life, that I was positive were not empaths. The small rest that called my suspicion were misterious enough that it'd be borderline hysterical on my part to take a guess.

    What I mean is that it sometimes feels true that non-empaths have a knack for recognizig each other, but sometimes they also seem to label too much.

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  6. The narcissist actively solicits Narcissistic Supply – adulation, compliments, admiration, subservience, attention, being feared – from others in order to sustain his fragile and dysfunctional Ego. Thus, he constantly courts possible rejection, criticism, disagreement, and even mockery.

    The narcissist is, therefore, dependent on other people. He is aware of the risks associated with such all-pervasive and essential dependence. He resents his weakness and dreads possible disruptions in the flow of his drug: Narcissistic Supply. He is caught between the rock of his habit and the hard place of his frustration. No wonder he is prone to raging, lashing and acting out, and to pathological, all-consuming envy (all expressions of pent-up aggression).

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  7. I say this partly because everyone here seems to have Aspie, S and Narc coworkers, friends, family members and lovers.

    I get it when it's an affinity process because of lifestyle and such. But by keeping a healthy dose of skepticism, I also can't shake this sense of hypeness around it.

    PS: wow, I do play a lot of devil's advocate. Guess I'm lucky not to get annoyed at myself. HA.

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  8. AMoralBing has a knack for talking shit.

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  9. Narcs are pretty easy to spot. They're not quiet about their personalities. Then again, I had to live with that bullshit forever so maybe it's just easy for me to spot.

    I imagine there's a bit of seeing similar behaviors and pattern recognition in your own experience that leads to easy deduction.

    I can tell a beeper chick when I find them. I've learned to keep a wide berth in general (except for one of my best friends). Had another best friend that was probably BPD and she drained the f-ing life out of me. Lesson noted to add to the mask.

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  10. Narcissists are draining in an abusive, psychological abuse type of way, I don't know how borderlines drain, both are very moody.

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  11. All cluster B's are moody. Borderlines get angry, but they aren't as capable as narcissists or psychopaths are, in their callousness, a narcissist or a psychopath could rape or kill an innocent person, i think a borderline would be capable of murder but it would be vengance after being severely wronged.

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  12. Not only socios spot people. I can spot people pretty easy. The most vulnerable are as prone to spot others as the most predatory.
    But for me it took instinct and learning, since I once assumed everyone was as uncalculated as me. I know I'm vulnerable, and I'm wary to an extreme.
    And yes, the narc I know is bleeding draining and much like how Haven describes them, obvious. I am draining too, i've been told a few times.
    So put me and a raving narc together, and it plays to both my high energy and proness to drama, and also exhausts the hell out of me. Brings out the worst in me, the bits I try to tame.

    Anon, above me, that's a good summary of it.

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  13. I'm not overly moody, I'm numb and bored stiff most of the time, but It's not hard to piss me off and you'll get a peice of my mind when that happens. I don't have the "leave me alone and I'll leave you alone" philosophy I prey on vulnerable people, even on this blog.

    I asked my aunt what she would do if i were her boss, she told me she wouldn't come into work and she'd tell the police about me, it's like music to my ears when I hear something like that, I love when people are afraid of me.

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  14. anon 5:11, that was the moste precise, excellent definition of a narc. reading it, you can instantly pinpoint all the narcs in your life both past and present according to that definition. but more importantly that defintion is so true. there's a girl i know who is lets just say not pretty, slightly ugly but she does try to look attractive. anyway it seems she has a fan base of people who compliment her no matter how busted she looks, which is quite comical. recently, she solicited comments about her look, i guess not enough people complimented her so she saught it out by referencing a part of her look. i had to laugh. i always thought she was a malignant narcissist, a bit "off", something is quite right about her, etc..

    but it gets better, she's obessesd with this guy who is sorta hot because of his body, not really his face. he's aslo a narcissist/bordeline sociopath. Do or can two narcs or socio's work in a relationship? they've been on and off for four years now, although he's never claimed her as his girlfriend officialy.
    do

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  15. @Anon 5:37... BPDs are emotionally draining on a lot of levels really. Our highs and lows can be so intense that it’s too much too handle. Especially our lows because we need so much support and more care than most people can provide because they have their own needs too. Anything less than all of what they have and we {I} tend to believe they don’t really care at all because they’re clearly withholding from us.

    Anger is a big one too. I’m extremely prone to wrath. I internalize a lot though and don’t explode so much at other people, though I used to.

    That’s the worst cases though. There’s a lot of moodiness and shifting from mood states. It’s like a subliminal slide show of personality shifts. It can be hard to follow.

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  16. My moods are always dysphoric, but I don't seek help or comfort from others, never, obviously you know by now that my mind sees things like that as weakness.

    I don't need love and affection, I have it in abundance. I don't think I've ever internalized the bad things I've done, my mind just doesn't allow it, it's not like I'm running away from it, if i was confronted with it I wouldn't care. I look at these slaughter house videos and I'm supposed to feel bad for these animals, but I don't, It's not me getting hung up and sliced open is it?

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  17. narcissists and socios are great at impression management, the best pictures on their social network, greatest job in the world and a nobel prize.

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  18. of course all are lies, most of the time.

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  19. Adam, you said you don't seek love or comfort. What about adoration?

    My ex always needed friends to either fear his motives or put him on a pedastal basically telling him how great he was.

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  20. Yes, that was what I said.

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  21. Expert Impression ManagementApril 8, 2011 at 7:30 AM

    Ted Bundy returned to Seattle in the summer of 1969 and took a room at Ernst and Frieda Rogers's house, one of several University District rooming houses where single people — usually students — could find an inexpensive place to stay. The Rogerses took an instant liking to him. Ted was polite. He kept his room clean and tidy. He was happy to run Mrs. Rogers to the store or to help Ernst with jobs around the house. He seemed like a gentle person to Frieda. She would remember the time they had coffee to­gether in her kitchen. An outsized fly began to buzz around them. Frieda started to swat it, but Ted jumped up, exclaimed, "Don't kill it!" and chased the fly out the window.

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  22. He lived around the corner from the Sandpiper tavern, a college beer joint where he had some success in picking up girls. On the last night of September 1969, he walked into the Sandpiper and sat down at the bar. Across the crowded dance floor sat Elizabeth Kendall (pseudonym), twenty-four, an appealing medical secretary and divorcee out for an evening of fun with a group of her friends. Ted finished a pitcher of beer at the bar before he found the courage to approach her. As he recalled the occasion, Ted walked over to her and asked for a dance. "I'm sorry," Liz replied. "I can't dance." On most nights, that would have been enough to send Ted Bundy into a funk. "For my somewhat tentatively developed ego," he explained to me, "it was always a less than pleasant experience for someone to say that they didn't want to dance. I never got over that."

    Emboldened by his beer, however, Ted was brave enough to ask one of Liz's friends to dance. She said, "Sure!" and rose. Moments later on the dance floor, Ted noticed Liz now was dancing, too. He flashed her a wolfish smile and said, "Well, you really can't dance, can you?"

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  23. Excellent read

    http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/criminal_mind/psychology/witness/1.html

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  24. 4/8
    4:08 AM


    off the bat?

    YOU'RE

    -For fuck's sake!

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  25. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy

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  26. Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Psychopaths are just evil aspies.

    April 8, 2011 4:49 AM


    :O How long did it take the blog to figure that one out? Besides, Aspies have every right to be evil. Consider "normal" people.

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  27. @ amoralbing Yeah I've noticed that too. I knew a narcissist, a hypochondriac, a friend who was an aspie, but never an S or P. I wonder if deviant personalities just tend to attract other deviant personalities. There have been times when I've entered a room and the moment I see this person I hate them. Is that the S-ESP everyone keeps alluding to? I don't know if those people were S or P but they usually don't want to play nice with me either.

    I think every S tries to form a group of people who fear and worship them. They are the group you can control absolutely. Kind of like a base of operations. I've also always had a beta that is the closest to me. The beta can take abuse but he is always an enabler. They are the perfect second in command. No aspiration for true leadership but they are more then willing to pass on your imperial edicts to everyone else when you aren't around. They do things on your authority. That is the strange symbiotic relationship. If they wanted to fuck someone's girlfriend they can't do it. They have morals or whatever. However, if you tell them they should, that they deserve it, that the guy is a douche then they can do it with a roughly free conscious. You gave them permission. If it was wrong it was your wrong. The leaders wrong. They also love to speak of their alphas' triumphs. Like it reflects on them. True betas are a rare sort but they make the perfect companions. I had one that I used as an external conscious. Sounds weird I know. However, I could always tell if what I was doing was wrong too extreme or amazing just by his face.

    anon @7:36 Good read indeed.

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  28. "Aspies themselves are a little harder to trick. They can recognize that you are different from other neurotypicals, but they also recognize that you're not quite like them either, without necessarily being able to put a finger on why exactly. "

    Umm no. Not all aspies are nice and cuddly human beings that model Abraham Lincoln's policy of no lieing. They don't all want to hold hands and be "friends"

    This is laughable that you think being overly-generous and quirky is the equivalent of having Aspergers.

    You have to walk weird, talk weird, be socially inept, aloof, focused, and a crapload of other things.

    It's not something you can do to fool your friends, unless they read bull-crap like AspiesRGay.com

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  29. a) Whenever I ride on public transportation, I try to fart. I use the sounds of the vehicle and of traffic to cover the louder ones, but sometimes I just don't care.
    b) It causes me mild consternation to not be able to fart into this forum and then put on an air of innocence.

    So, where does that put me in the eyes of the "spotters" here, huh?

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  30. Kesu, your descriptions about the beta is what I couldn't express as well, when I was thinking about 'loyalty'

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  31. @gagreflex The beta is loyal. In fact they are loyalty personified. Rather then put themselves before anyone else like a S they put their Alpha before everyone else. They are very willing to sacrifice their personal time resources and even personal character. This makes them a tool of unequaled measure. They have low pride. So things that I would have to grit my teeth to do they can do rather freely. You can implant them in scenarios where their generally personable personalities are accepted quickly. They gain trust easily because they themselves are very open. They also act as sponges. They pick up others traits rather easily without realizing it. This makes them even more trust worthy to the masses. If it acts looks and quacks like a duck it must be a duck. To an S this means something entirely different. They are easily manipulated.

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  32. I think there's nothing real about this kind of loyalty. It's more driven by an incontrollable need to be liked or a fear of being hated or isolated.

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  33. "True betas are a rare sort but they make the perfect companions."

    And even though I know you can't appreciate it, I'm only happy when it rains.

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  34. What value should be accorded to respect and loyalty from tools? I guess Socios DO see differently even on this. WTF this is how my effing state politics works!

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  35. @Anon... Garbage? Is that a dig?

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  36. I dunno, waddya guys think? Should we all go Libya bust? I mean Gadaffi and our own old man are of the same luveable stock. Heck yea, their children too.

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  37. Haven, you nailed it <3

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  38. @anon 11:49 Are you offering yourself up? I'm in the market for a new Beta. The one I have currently is a used model. His brother was an S maybe even a P. He owns some of his brother's annoying habits.

    @gagreflex whether the loyalty is or is not real doesn't matter. It is more of a symbiotic relationship. The beta gets to leech off of my unending unwavering strength and I get an unquestioning lackey.

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  39. I get it Kesu. But whats to keep your beta pet from ditching you for a more enticing master? Wouldn't there also be competition for the best betas?

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  40. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  41. @gagreflex Ahhhh. I was waiting for this. I think this tacks onto something else that has been touched before. I think if you had to call a S a particular animal it would have to be a bear. I think most of us don't really invade the others direct territory. If the opportunity arose I'm sure we would take but that isn't a simple matter. The beta is attached. The betas emotional and mental stability are tied in an indirect and direct way to his alpha. Separation is painful to the beta. So he won't do it even if he has something new to attach to.

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  42. I imagine what one S find acceptable in a beta another might not in terms of personality. What if the beta is wildly annoying to you? Or will any old beta do? There's got to be some variance there.

    I could be wrong.

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  43. I use to have an aspie as a beta, i tried to teach him how to be more cynical and use people to get what he wants. I don't think he got the idea but he became better socially because of it.

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  44. @Haven you are exactly right. Also on what wet is saying we do change our betas. They gain pieces or habits that are ours. Trust me using someone beta that isn't yours is an annoying process. All those habits that the person using them before gifted the beta with continue. Kinda like a dog that has been trained to bring dead rabbits into the house when you hate dead rabbits. It is just the beta doing as he was taught. For example I can't stand overly happy people. I'm jaded and cynical. I tear people down and I never say that person is amazing. The beta I have now tends to idolize people. I hate that. It annoys me endlessly.

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  45. About dysfunctional friends/family:

    In the area that I live in, I have been acquainted with something around ~400 people in the last year and a half. Not including acquaintances that I've only met once. Less than a dozen of those people I consider to be on a 'friend' basis, but I know a good chunk of my work/area/community acquaintances decently well. Let's say half.

    So out of 200 people, ~12 of those on a friend basis, and this mind you only occurring in a year and a half, doesn't it seem likely that out of that group I would run into a narc, aspie, socio or beeper? And considering I had a Narc as a father, and I'm a sociopath, my chances would be heightened in spotting people like that

    I've never lived in one place for very long, I can only imagine people who grow up in the same time their whole lives have a much higher chance of knowing people like this, as they have the lion-share of a community to get to know.

    Statistically, unless you're a total loner/hermit, you probably do know people like this. A lot of people just don't know what to look for, especially if they are NT. Then it's a matter of someone is either weird, or they're not, no?

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  46. ...sam's inverted narcs

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  47. Anonymous said...
    a) Whenever I ride on public transportation, I try to fart.

    b) It causes me mild consternation to not be able to fart into this forum and then put on an air of innocence.

    April 8, 2011 10:45 AM

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  48. Jason said...

    things like self-control are dependent on glucose.

    those who drink lemonade have more willpower and self-control.
    April 7, 2011 8:04 AM

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  49. Jason seems pretty big on the holistic cures around here. Not sure why.

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  50. Because science/medicine doesn't know better, clearly.

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  51. @Noteable... I have a pesky ability to know or be known by everyone around me. I tend to stick out so I know way more people than I'd like to. Where I grew up the only guy I ever met could possibly have been a narc but even he was just a dick. Do you really think PDs are really so common?

    Maybe they just move out and congregate in larger populations, leaving the smaller areas 'purer', kidding. Cuz where I am now, the PD population is definitely magnified.

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  52. Hah. Come on, hypnosis could totally make you empathic if it could make me less so. It's like neurorealignment with a pocket watch. What's not scientific about that =P

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  53. hypnosis is like visualization, like how ME turned herself into bisexual. i used hypnosis to manipulate my post surgery healing speed, it was amazing. i watched someone have her body cut open in a surgery while being hypnosed, thinking she is walking in a park and talking the whole time.

    looking back, and reading more SW i realize i was using hypnosis to weaken myself psychologically. once i heard the guy who was preaching hypnosis say something quite vicious i decided to take time out and reconsider. no i'll redirect it to use prioritization of impulse control where the impulse is hurting me as opposed to someone else, much better deal.

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  54. I went to a seminar on erotic hypnotism a few weeks back. Somehow I don't think increasing my ability to spontaneously feel 'pleasurable' is going to help my PD issues.

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  55. feel pleasurable? Why, you actually can't feel pleasurable w/o hypnosis? be specific.

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  56. like imagine note on your nipples? you don't think that is immensely pleasurable?

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  57. Oh I can certainly feel pleasure... not spontaneously at the drop of a trigger word though.

    Imagine what, where? 0_o

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  58. so, the imagery worked better than the trigger word?heck, hypnosis is not about being able to key in to a single word. what were they teaching there?

    hypnosis only means heightened suggestability. you find what works for you to heighten your own suggestability. you find a way for your brain to accept your own suggestions in a quicker way, then you keep repeating, and 31 repetitions later, voilla...

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  59. pleasurable trigger wrds:

    succopath

    and

    psuccopath

    and

    phuccopath

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  60. A certain percentage of the population is highly hypnotisable(errr close enough) a percentage can't be hypnotized and then the rest can just get the normal amount.

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  61. have some lemonade before trying.

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  62. I'm kind of a control freak when it comes to me. My subconscious would probably fight it.

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  63. actually, i am a control freak, and hypnosis is a very useful tool for a control freak. i think you just need a better teacher and understanding that this whole thing is under your control. can do it alone,

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  64. i decided to grill some chicken all of a sudden. that 'pleasurable' meant oral pleasure, and at the moment best I can do is eat some chicken. bummer.

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  65. Anon you enjoy your pleasurable mouth meats.

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  66. BTW whether you are able to be hypnotized has nothing to do with personality. It is an unknown why anyone lands in any of the particular categories.

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  67. As far as I can tell hypnotism is good for encouraging or discouraging certain habits or tendencies. Kesu's correct. These don't have to do with personality. You can't change a characterological disorder. Hypnotism can't change everything about a person. There's another word for that. It's lobotomy.

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  68. do you know which us president used lobotomy on his daughter and turned her into a vegetable and never forgave himself for that?

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  69. i agree that you cannot change personality with hypnosis. nor should you. we did discuss that before and pretty much decided there is room for all types, right? pd's are cool.

    and the guy who lost everything... you can move to africa and redefine yourself as a very useful and lovable person get out of where everyone knows your name ASAP.

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  70. Did someone say chicken?

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  71. sadie, u like chicken, or what?

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  72. is this guy sexy?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiTrl0W1QrM

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  73. On a full airplane, sometimes, when I am particularly annoyed at a parent who won't shove a pacifier into their kid's mouth for a goddamned minute, I will shit my pants (not simply fart, mind you)run to the john, change into a fresh pair, then return with them and put then under the parent's seat. -I love the smell of my own shit, I just don't like to be soaked in it. Know what I'm sayin?

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  74. smart is sexy. (I'd lose the waiter costume.) Diplomatic is sexy, well spoken is sexy. poise is sexy,

    I guess he is sexy.

    But I'm not as gay man.

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  75. Yes, if India is itself, India is the new sexy country.

    Indian food and theater is like an emotional meal. It's true. Look up "Rasa"

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  76. Wolf facts . . .
    In wolf packs, there is both a male and female - alpha and beta. There is usually only one omega, which is the one wolf the pack takes out their aggressions on. I spent some time on a wolf reserve and the dynamics are quite interesting.

    Hypnosis . . .
    Self-hynosis or structured inner dialogue is a wonderful tool to either gain control of impulse or release control. The mind is one big bandwidth of frequencies in thought or feeling. (think radio waves) I find I make the best gains through practicing feelings, sensations, thoughts or moods as shiftable states. And I agree it, like mindfulness meditation, it require a good teacher and practice.

    Neuro-regulation is self-empowering.

    And opens more time for more proactive games.

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  77. Itself, being true to it's self.

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  78. Good night, wolverines.

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  79. he is sexy, because he 's smart, tall, and an Indian without an Indian accent. has a dimpled chin, has the kinky smile deep down in is eyes...

    he made a mistake and referred to Obama as 'selected despite not being white, male , or Christian." Hilarious....

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  80. Kesu, I really liked what you had to say about betas. I used to be one... almost all of what you said resonates pretty heavily with me. If my alpha said it was OK, then it was OK. If he thought something was a good idea, I'd work on it for days straight running on caffeine. I think the only difference is that I wasn't submissive if he mistreated or betrayed me... payback was always tenfold, worse every time until he just stopped doing it. But after I felt he'd been punished enough, I always went right back to doing whatever he wanted. It's kinda funny, thinking back to that life, I almost miss it. It's so easy letting someone else give purpose to your existence, almost like being a child again.

    I think I went through 3 alphas before I finally got my shit together. I don't claim to be an alpha or anything, but my life is my own now. Still, no projects have been the same... they're missing the enthralling motivating factor that alphas invariably possess.

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  81. Oh, I almost forgot... the one I followed for the longest always used to tell me that he could gauge if he was going too far by looking at my reaction. That, and if he wanted something done, he could pitch an idea to me and receive a practical alternative that achieved the same goals. So I don't think it's too far out there to say that betas are useful for that sort of thing.

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  82. Psychopaths aren't born leaders, one needs passion for that.

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  83. What do i do if my boyfriend has portraits of himself all over his house? :x

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  84. anon 9:16

    do the creep!

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  85. "In order to be taken seriously, one must take themselves seriously"

    - Sam Vaknin

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  86. Anon. Yes of course you fought back. Even alphas need a good kick in the butt. When an alpha and a beta work well together the alpha generally becomes less abusive over time. He takes into account his beta's feelings. He even wants to provide protection for the beta at some point. A beta working for an alpha is probably the happiest point for both. The alpha wants to lead the beta wants to follow. The better the two work together the more defined this relationship becomes. Now for me with my longest beta an extreme kinship was there. It got to the point where I would even talk for him. He not only allowed it he wanted it. I would never let him be hurt. An attack on him would receive a counter attack by me ten fold of what one would get for attacking me. He was my most precious tool. I could not allow him to be damaged. The relationship from the outside looked homosexual but it wasn't. There was no sexual attraction or anything of the sort. We both enjoyed females. Yet that is the type of closeness that an alpha and beta can achieve. An almost meshing of personalities. The alpha is usually a schemer. He makes plans he will hash out with the beta. The beta will do it gleefully. He is happy to be apart of the task. The more pivotal the role the harder he will work. I have to say that beta is/was the only person that I can turn my back on and not be paranoid about when the knife is coming.

    As far as you becoming self capable I'm not surprised. One role of the beta is the disciple. They leech strength eventually many of them find the strength to fly on their own by serving the alpha. Now generally their "wing span" isn't as impressive as the alphas. Yet they've seen enough of the sky because the alpha has shown it to them to fly reasonably well. I've seen betas become more be less submissive and more self serving and I've witness that most of those feel like you. I think it really is because most betas don't want to rule the world. They live peacefully without real purpose. The alpha was always the one that wanted to rule and if he was like me he wanted his beta to be the one next to him. Betas tend to not want to stride out ahead of everyone. However when attached to an alpha they strive harder for they have a real purpose and a good alpha will always take note and give just rewards.

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  87. some alphas can get sonned by other stronger alphas.

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  88. kesu that sounds like columbine, i can't remember their names but one of the shooters was an alpha the other was a beta.

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  89. Columbine is a negative on image on something that isn't necessarily negative. Alphas are everywhere. They lead. If two alphas are in a group together there are only three outcomes: 1. One alpha dominates the other alpha. 2. The group is destroyed. 3. One of the alphas is purged from the group.

    Alphas don't work in groups unless they lead them. They have large personalities. The difference between a good alpha and a bad alpha is the difference between a competent leader and an inept one. What path they take their people on is simply the path they take. Be it for the betterment of the group or it's destruction.

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  90. i don't think they are everywhere, i think their quite rare. most people put on an image of being an alpha when it is far from reality, there is 2 alphas for every 200 betas, if less.

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  91. True alphas and true betas probably run at about the same rate. These are extremes of personalities. People will tend to one side or the other so it can give the illusion of them being that. The alpha mind set isn't an uncommon one just as the beta one isn't either. I guess true ones are probably pretty rare.

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  92. Haven, I thought I was rather clear about it. What did you not understand?

    Leaders are everywhere, and many people have the ability to lead if either given the opportunity, or forced into it. Unless completely inept, the human psyche is very versatile and adaptable to new and sometimes compromising situations.

    In my opinion, the only difference between a natural leader to other leaders is that they've had the role from a young age.

    Power and control is an awfully hard habit to kick.

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  93. if i hear alpha or beta one more time i'm gonna scream!

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  94. alpha beta now let it out. Hope you burst your own ear drums.

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  95. M.E.,

    I don't know about the playing the Aspie card thing. I've never tried it. I have a friend who's an Aspie, and people see that pretty fast. But I myself, I don't see how I would pull that one. I play the charm card pretty much constantly, it's not something I think about, I've always done it that way. But... interesting idea.

    Other than that, it's true Aspies know you're not like them and yet different. Those I've met either like me a lot, or they tend to keep their distance.


    Anon 10:45,

    You won the prize today. :D


    Adam:

    "I love the smell of my own shit, I just don't like to be soaked in it. Know what I'm sayin?"

    Oh yeah, we know what you're saying.

    You're full of shit, kiddo, that's what!

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  96. aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrggghhhhhhhhh

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  97. I wonder if it might be getting tougher these days to hold on to alpha/beta/omega distinctions/roles with pseudo empowerment for all, via online catharsis.

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  98. Haphatic, do you think that guy is a homosexual? Or a bisexual?

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  99. Hey, I don't know about your shit, but my shit? -it don't stink. Smells like fuckin' roses.

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  100. anyone in this community who doesn't know how to make a banana split with protein, is a dumbass,

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  101. horses need to be broken in, or they'll run away, throw you off their fucking back, KILLING you,

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  102. aspies, half aspies -whatever, are useful,

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  103. They don't absorb your emotions, yet they can argue with them,

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  104. I wonder if aspies have the ability to teach themselves not to hurt the feelings of someone to whom they've become attached?

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  105. Oh one more thing:

    Re: Beta Fish

    It cannot be put in a bowl with another fish..

    If you hold a mirror up to it, it will attack the bowl until it becomes exhausted from stubbing its nose on the tank.

    It's cruel to do this because Betas don't know any better. I've done it to see what happens. They get tired and stunned and stop attacking.

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  106. Is there a female SO in this thread?

    If so do you think it is likely that a female SO would willing be monogimous after a track record of years of fucking around on her spouses?

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  107. Confused, you really just need to fuck her. With a two rubbers cause you don't know where she's been.
    Oh, and she'll tell you, but you won't believe her because you're a paranoid little control freak fucker, and you think that what she writes in her diary and what you eavesdrop on tells you something.

    Fuck her.

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  108. Did she tell you she fucked around on her spouses?

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