Wednesday, April 13, 2011

A letter from a former forensic psychology student

From a reader:
I've been reading your blog about six months and I must say it is most refreshing to discover a page that does not villify sociopaths, painting them as these evil people whom want nothing more than to roam the Earth manipulating, raping and killing. Your blog has confirmed for me what textbooks could not. Reading through many of the self-reflective posts I find myself identifying with them. I came to your blog unsure as to what exactly I was, I knew I was different and I certainly matched up with a lot of the traits that are succinct in ASPD, however I did not believe myself to be one as I can have emotions such as happiness, anger, sadness. I was what society considers normal up until about the age of 12 (I even distinctly remember feeling guilty for ruining something that belonged to someone else and seeing their reaction), following a rather traumatic incident, coupled that with constant bullying through both primary and secondary school my ability to feel guilt ceased, (I can't ever recall feeling empathy).

I learnt very quickly how to manipulate those around me. I did however have to learn how to be socially graceful as those around me and I grew up. The best way I can describe it is, "it's like performing a group dance that you don't know. You watch those around you and attempt to emulate them, however you'll always be one or two steps behind." There is one particular incident that sticks out in my mind. I was 18 and in my final year of school, one morning a friends dad had died, the school gathered our year together, told us and then told us to take all the time we needed and to go to class whenever. I sat down with my group of friends, all looking miserable and pensive. I did not understand how they could feel this way, it was not their dad who had died, it would not directly affect them. However I knew that I must follow suit, so I sat there looking miserable and pensive like the rest, the foremost thought in my mind being "I can't be the first to leave, I hope someone goes soon, after the first person leaves I'll wait a couple of minutes then head off, the ground is really uncomfortable."

I'm 20 years old now, studying psychology at university with the original intention of gaining a PhD in Forensic psychology, however after seeing first hand what's involved in the research side of the profession I've switched my focus to that of a medical degree. The reason for this partly being as I see it as the ultimate challenge, when I was much younger doctors appeared to be these omnipotent beings that us mere mortals could only hope to be like. Which brings me to my next conclusion, I am not just a sociopath, I am sociopath with narcisstic tendencies (not something I'm proud of). I do part-time work in the bar/gaming industry, I excelled at that, not because I wanted the satisfaction of having done a good job (that concept is laughable to me), but because I wanted to move up. I'm the youngest person working for that business and I have more responsibiltes than people twice my age.

I'll end this with an anecdote that shall lead into a question. In class we were studying, ASPD and the question of Nature Vs. Nurture was raised, loving a good argument I decided to throw my two cents in and suggested a hypothesis that no-one else was considering, as members of the class were either on the side of nature OR nurture, but never considering that the answer could be both, which led to an interesting ten minute discussion. I used the knowledge I have of my own personality to come up with the idea. Having NEVER felt empathy, but having felt guilt at one point could it be possible that people possess certain genes/characteristcs (whatever you wish to call them) at birth, that give them the potential to become sociopathic, however only when placed in certain situations does the sociopathy present itself, if for example I hadn't gone through the traumatic event, if I'd had a normal schooling life as opposed to one rife with bullying would I be "normal" now?

Food for thought!

65 comments:

  1. Reader: I am not sure you would be 'normal' but your life would definitely be different.

    People make sharp adjustments based on single data point (traumatic incident). They overestimate probabilities of events with dire consequences in general, after it happens to them once in particular.

    I wish you shared what that traumatic event was. You can revert to pre-event psychological state by eliminating its importance, letting it go. There are tools for that. If you wanted to, of course.

    Having said all of that the fact that you say doing a good job by itself has no virtue for you other than going up the food chain it is clear that you would choose certain way of decision making independent of that traumatic event.

    The event and some of its aftermath and all that bullying clearly alienated you. The more I read about the experiences here the more I realize the key maker of a sociopath is that alienation. The disconnect. That is both pushed in but also very much internal. So its effect is only in terms of timing, sure to happen at some point, but when, at birth/at 10/at 16/at 40?

    ReplyDelete
  2. This guy is way too modest to be narcissistic, he is acting like he doesn't want to come off as arrogant, kind of like he doesn't want to offend anyone.

    I only had one friend In my entire life who I considered to be a psychopath but maybe he had ASPD.

    He joined my high school after being thrown out of his own, we became friends right away, we were both dominant but I could hide it better, he looked and acted like a criminal, he impulsivly got tattoos and took steroids without thinking about the consequences, completely nuts. Like me he was a bully, we tormented the weaker students, but he didn't know who not to torment, I knew who would react and who wouldn't he did it to everyone, and it cost him, he left the school two months after joining.

    I haven't heard from him in a long time, he is way too destructive to be around, a big time drug dealer and a cocaine addict, I imagine misanthrope is sort of like that, no? The only thing that had me sticking around was envy, I always acted like I was in charge in our friendship but I wanted to be this guy sometimes, he stuck out though, I blend in.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I look forward to your psychologist's fallacies.~

    ReplyDelete
  4. I was facinated by this train wreck, I was sitting back in my own world that always managed to stay bland and dull, yet this guys life was changeing every day, usually for the worst. It was all about instant gratification with him, he didn't think about the future.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I don't believe that a build-up of negative experiences and influences 'activates' some sort of sociopath switch in the average person, but I do believe they affect different people in different ways.

    Social rejection has long been known to cause reactive aggression, which fuels negative attribution, especially in the average person who is already traumatised so hyper-vigilant to perceived threats.

    The same regions of the brain are activated as those in response to painful sensory experiences - and the average person wants it to stop. Empathy is not a priority when a socially excluded person is hurting; stopping the social exclusion is.

    How the average person goes about this depends on their personal behaviours and sociocultural scripts: but taking aim at others, taking aim at themselves, or running away from it are the three basic options.

    I think many people with ASPD have been traumatised, and retraumatised, throughout their lives - especially given that it's diagnosed more commonly in lower socioeconomic classes. BPD, to my mind, is the female equivalent. They're made, not born, unlike sociopaths or psychopaths.

    ReplyDelete
  6. adam, is that really you? you sound more mature at this hour of the day. refreshing.

    ReplyDelete
  7. isn't aspd a version of sociopathy?

    ReplyDelete
  8. unemotional doesn't = sociopath.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Psychopaths are very are different from anti-social personalities, the anti-socials are reckless.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Psychopathy (born)

    1. Glibness/superficial charm
    2. Grandiose sense of self-worth
    3. Pathological lying
    4. Cunning/manipulative
    5. Lack of remorse or guilt
    6. Emotionally shallow
    7. Callous/lack of empathy
    8. Failure to accept responsibility for own actions

    ASPD (made)

    1. Need for stimulation
    2. Parasitic lifestyle
    3. Poor behavioral control
    4. Promiscuous sexual behavior
    5. Lack of realistic, long-term goals
    6. Impulsiveness
    7. Irresponsibility
    8. Juvenile delinquency
    9. Early behavioral problems
    10. Revocation of conditional release

    ReplyDelete
  11. Inborn Biogenetic Temperment; is something I've been doing a lot of looking into. It's that question of being predisposed to certain personality traits, but to some extent having them triggered by the environment a person lives in. Having an excellent environment won't necessarily suppress these temperments, but they may temper or change them. On the other hand, having a destructive environment will swing the trigger in the other direction and cultivate the inborn traits. As far as I'm concerned I agree that it isn't nature vs. nurture, but nature and nurture.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous at 5:48am:

    I believe ASPD is primarily acquired through trauma and is a separate condition - their apparent lack of remorse or empathy for others is not because they were born without a conscience it's because their fight or flight response is permanently activated, and reactivated, in a self-perpetuating cycle.

    Their lower socioeconomic status only reinforces their entrapment, as does their typical lack of education, so that they're emasculated in a society that defines violence in particular as the ultimate way to respond to oppression and get respect.

    Sociocultural factors don't increase or decrease a sociopath's or psychopath's conscience because they don't have one.

    But ASPD is typically seen as a youth condition because their symptoms tend to 'burn out' quite early on.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I have traits from both lists in different amounts, I have all of the factor one traits. For factor two I'd score high on 2 and 5 and 7.

    ReplyDelete
  14. @Sea Witch... In my research I've come across a lot of conclusions that as you said: ASPD is sort of the male equivalent to BPD which has a feminized stigma.

    It's not all environment. I'm nearly positive of this. I didn't have any truly traumatic experiences until well after my presentation towards BPD emerged.

    I do think environmental influence can and will exacerbate the problem.

    Those inborn tendencies are what contribute to the predispotion towards certain actions. If there wasn't that latent tendency there may not be the type of exaggerated responses that come from BPD and ASPD.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Why do i always talk about myself?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh, inborn tendencies toward personality disorders are indeed interesting, and something I'd like to learn more about.

    I also believe that anomie can 'create' ASPD, but those with a higher socioeconomic status have more opportunities to act out in socially sanctioned ways, as well as the means to buy their way out of being caught.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm the original reader whom wrote the letter.

    A little more background info on me, I come from a reasonably stable family (admittedly my father has always been distant, never one to say "I love you" or to hug. (That's not attempt at a "daddy didn't love me" tale, it's merely fact.) My parents are married, we're a middle to upper class family living in the suburbs. For the most part I am in control, I present a reasonably respectable face to the world. I'm known as "the funny guy" in all the social circles I'm involved in. I'm a very driven person as well, the majority of my actions are done due to prior planning. Reckless is not a word I would use to describe myself. I drink only soically and I do not smoke, nor do I engage in drugs. The idea of putting a substance into my body that could have long-term adverse effects seems stupid to me.

    I do believe that as Haven stated before that "that it isn't nature vs. nurture, but nature and nurture."

    It's interesting reading the difference between psychopathy and ASPD. The majority of my traits fall into the psychopathy area, while I'm under no delusions that I'm devoid of emotion. As mentioned previously, I can remember a specific incident where I felt guilt (before my traumatic event)

    ReplyDelete
  18. SSRIs are my favourite empathy suppressors.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Dear Doctor Sociopath:

    I am attempting a divorce from a narc/socio husband (his idea, not mine) but he won't stop breaking into the house. He has used my bed for sex, leaving cum stains and condoms around. He has broken into the garage to have sex on the floor there, too, and now he has his GF (not the ones he was having sex with, but his primary/BPD/prolly also socio live-in GF) break in and dick around on the home computer, probably snooping into finances or installing some spy shit. Is there anything I can do? He can get new keys to new locks from our kids and make copies. I feel sure a police report might set him to violence. You smart folks are my only hope. Any ideas? It goes without saying he is denying everything despite all evidence.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Basically ASPD is based on behavior because it was too hard to test accurately for psychopathy. Also it was changed during the 80s with the motto of "people are good, actions are bad." The term "Sociopath" was during the 60s, with the motto "nurture not nature." P/s is basically the same. ASPD is basically a useless term because it applies to anyone with conduct disorder and criminal behavior. The only way to test for p/s is by using MRI. The simpler self test- do something anti-social. Try being a con artist or just throw a rock at some old lady. And you should know.

    Even if you could control every environmental factor you can not make a p/s. The brains of P/S are fundamentally different. Even if you had perfect parents you will still think differently simply because your brain is wired that way.

    ReplyDelete
  21. the word sociopath is out of date. it's now just called person with aspd. the term psychopath was changed to sociopath, so it is all the same thing. there's factor 1 and 2 traits, but it still all falls under aspd.

    ReplyDelete
  22. "I am attempting a divorce from a narc/socio husband (his idea, not mine) but he won't stop breaking into the house. He has used my bed for sex, leaving cum stains and condoms around. He has broken into the garage to have sex on the floor there, too, and now he has his GF (not the ones he was having sex with, but his primary/BPD/prolly also socio live-in GF) break in and dick around on the home computer, probably snooping into finances or installing some spy shit. Is there anything I can do? He can get new keys to new locks from our kids and make copies. I feel sure a police report might set him to violence. You smart folks are my only hope. Any ideas? It goes without saying he is denying everything despite all evidence."

    Tell someone who gives a fuck.

    ReplyDelete
  23. @John.. There is substantial evidence that men who lack a good male role model may never develop empathy for certain people. I'm in the same boat, my dad was an abusive wife beater, he never put his hand on me but I seen how to control people from early on.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Adam said...
    Why do i always talk about myself?

    April 13, 2011 6:27 AM

    (As I post this I have the suspicion it wouldn't be him who posted this but indeed he shows some maturity today, so who knows... Good going, Adam!)

    ReplyDelete
  25. I'm the most mature person you'll ever meet.

    ReplyDelete
  26. "Even if you could control every environmental factor you can not make a p/s. The brains of P/S are fundamentally different. Even if you had perfect parents you will still think differently simply because your brain is wired that way."

    I agree with Wet. Some traits are present from birth. More extreme in P/S types. This temperment isn't something you learn or acquire, it's inborn. Extenuating circumstances may contribute to how it presents and to the extent at which is does.

    For all intents and purposes I had a very good upbringing, middle class, with family that loved me, but it didn't stop me from the sort of actions and feelings that have plagued my life since I was a very small child. Granted they were excerbated by other mitigating factors but the temperment was already there. Neither of my siblings have PD problems so it can't just be nurture. Has to be more going on there.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I strongly think i inherited my psychopathy from my dad.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Maturity is another word for conformity, do you care what other people think of you? I care about my image, but I don't care what other people think of me.

    ReplyDelete
  29. when conforming one can still be immature, and when nooncorfming one can still be mature...

    but, it's ok, we won't aggravate you today. you be good now.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I'm pretty mature in person, I guess the real me comes out on here.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Yeah.. my real gay self is very evident here. Maybe it's very evident in real life too seeing as I spend so much time on here. Social outcast that I am.

    ReplyDelete
  32. i sometimes see you totally different than what you present here. as if your auntie just comes over and cuddles with you and you never tell us.

    it takes an effort to get your butt out.. mine too.

    i'm heading out to a street performance, sunny, beautiful out there... you be good.

    ReplyDelete
  33. @Virtual Sis... Why do you hold such a "sisterly" affection for Adam? Do you pity him? What is your infatuation with bombarding him with kindness? What do you stand to gain? Why do it? What is the purpose? I can't ascertain it. Are you being genuine or is it some play you are scripting out for your own personal enjoyment. Do you find some kind of connection to him and his general juvenile ways or does he remind you of someone from your past/present that you couldn't/can't openly give the same affection?

    ReplyDelete
  34. who gives a fuck? you ask some pointless questions, kesu. you should have seen this place when it was interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I give a fuck obviously you twat. I'm curious so I ask the question. At times this place still is interesting. At least to me it is. What exactly do you mean though by this place was interesting? Are you looking for places that have the more depraved acts. I know where those are. I've witnessed so many. There are places were people post "proof" of the things they've done. Where they lay their "art" for those who have eyes to see it. You just have to peel back the "onion"'s layers.

    ReplyDelete
  36. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Anon 8:27, Can you afford a nanny cam?

    How about alearting the police to any illegal activity their into.

    Ask to have your house watched by the Police.

    Go to your ex's boss.




    word verification; demen

    ReplyDelete
  38. Out of pure curiosity, do any of you have a person who you would go out of your way NOT to hurt.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Hey guys, I'm an asshole! Listen to me pretend to be a sociopath when I really am a narcissist, at that!

    ReplyDelete
  40. A good and thorough mail, Reader.

    First: From your description of the experience you had with feeling guilt, you did in fact feel empathy then also. I think in order to feel guilt one may have to know of empathy too - which would make sense, no? How else to 'feel' guilt?


    And another thing, though just a detail: I know someone who has Aspergers, and with this person I've met other Aspies. I know for absolutely certain that my friend experiences the emotions you mention: Happiness and anger (especially the latter have I seen in my friend on many occasions).
    - So if these are THE reasons for your conclusion, they're not sufficient.

    Manipulation though does certainly not go well with my impression of people with Aspergers, though this doesn't mean Aspies won't attempt to manipulate. My friend has tried plenty of times, but he's not good at it (and certainly not with me).


    "it's like performing a group dance that you don't know. You watch those around you and attempt to emulate them, however you'll always be one or two steps behind."

    For me it has given me the ability to be two steps ahead, because I can predict by using my intellect. It's not a deficit in itself.


    "as members of the class were either on the side of nature OR nurture, but never considering that the answer could be both"

    Ah, I see you have understanding. This is how I see it too, and it puzzles me somewhat that the versus notion keeps coming up. In my eyes it's just fairly obvious that both aspects are part of all people's personal make up. *s*


    "Food for thought"

    Indeed, there's always food for thought. But I don't think you would have been neurotypical even without the bullying.

    The final answer, I believe, has yet to be found.

    I wish you good luck ahead!...


    Ps. If you feel like it, take a look at my blog. I touch on several of the subjects you mention in your mail.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Sea Witch,

    intelligent post there.


    "I think many people with ASPD have been traumatised, and retraumatised, throughout their lives - especially given that it's diagnosed more commonly in lower socioeconomic classes. BPD, to my mind, is the female equivalent. They're made, not born, unlike sociopaths or psychopaths."

    One minor detail: Sociopaths and Psychopaths are not the same.

    To put it very over-simplified:

    AsPD'ers are results of Nurture (or: they're made).

    Sociopaths are a combination, leaning towards Nurture (being made).

    Psychopaths are also a combination, but with a more heavy emphasis on Nature (genetics or 'born that way').

    I know there's a tendency to use the two latter terms interchangeably, but in my opinion it's the smarter thing to do to have a clearer definition, since it's actually possible. It makes communication much easier. :)


    Wet,

    forget the DSM-IV. A lot will be changed in a couple of years with the DSM-V anyway.
    They know they screwed up! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  42. Anon with the "Dear Doctor Sociopath":

    Before I will even consider giving you any words of advice, you'll have to lose every trace of sarcasm in how you address us/me/blog author/etc.etc.

    Just sayin'. ;)

    You're welcome to try again, though... *s*

    ReplyDelete
  43. shut your word hole faggot. oh and i don't care if you don't care about being insulted, i just like doing it because it makes me feel like a big man, got it!?

    ReplyDelete
  44. I have a question for every S/P. I just had this interesting conversation with a friend who knows what I am and his brother is a P. We started talking about interacting with kids. He likes kids and they tend to like him too. He is kind of a happy go lucky aspie. So he already acts like a child. I'm impartial to children. IDC one way or another. However, children are terrified of me. Ones I've never even met. Such as in a grocery story kids around the age of 4 or 5 when they see me they get the deer caught in the headlights look and then after a second run to their parent and hold on tight. They watch me from the safety of the parent too. I'm not doing anything. I have no piercing or tattoos on my face that are weird or scary. I certainly don't make faces at them. Yet they are scared. Even the ones I'm related to. My step brothers daughter literally would burst into tears every time I entered the same room as her. I never even spoke to the little girl let alone touch or scare her. Her older brother would stare at me with a look that could only be dumbfounded horror. He would remain motionless until I passed through the room. My friend said that his brother had a somewhat similar experience. Little kids in his case just wanted to keep a distance from his brother. A nephew of theirs was absolutely horrified of his brother. I always thought it had something to do with me reasonably tall broad shouldered and dark featured. I always in the back of my head though do they know? Do the little fucks know that when I smile at them it is pretend? Have any of you had similar experiences?

    ReplyDelete
  45. @kesu

    sorry a bit late response, just got back from the streets.

    "Why do you hold such a "sisterly" affection for Adam?"
    I addressed Adam today in exactly the way I felt towards him today.

    "Do you pity him?"
    I did not feel pity. If anything today I was happy that I got my taxes done, maybe I was projecting my own happiness. Plus, somehow I believe people around Adam deep down care for him, and he knows that. His abusive father may have had his own reasons, and Adam may know those too. I don't know, just supposing.

    "What is your infatuation with bombarding him with kindness? What do you stand to gain? Why do it? What is the purpose?"
    I just felt like it, I wish I had a better answer for you.

    "I can't ascertain it. Are you being genuine or is it some play you are scripting out for your own personal enjoyment?"
    :) You remind me someone I know with this question. Someone who kept saying "I don't understand you, what is in it for you, why do you do these things?" Oh, well. I guess I am impulsive too. I did not think about what I was doing or why I was doing. Maybe just like wanting to do negative impulsive things there is also wanting to do positive impulsive things. I just do. No bills follow. And, I am truly genuine when I do.

    Your questions are generalizing my actions of today so thee are no answers for those because I have no generalized positions towards, Adam, but I can tell you that I have no interest or desire in attacking or hurting him verbally, but I may say some tough love kind of shit once in a while. Then he may say 'suck my dick' or not, his choice.

    I am curious why you wondered about my words today. If it is to test the hypothesis that someone like Adam may be around me or close to my heart, the answer is no, there is no such person, as you asked below:
    "Do you find some kind of connection to him and his general juvenile ways or does he remind you of someone from your past/present that you couldn't/can't openly give the same affection?"

    If it were not for your second note sincerely wanting to know I would not have spent this many lines. Hope did not bore you, Kesu.

    ReplyDelete
  46. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  47. @kesu
    About the children... you know children have sixth senses. they may feel a sense of coldness coming from you, or if these brain scientist are right and magnetic fields are different for a socio brain there may even be some electromagnetic repulsions going on that humans can't detect consciously.

    I can tell you this though. I get exactly the opposite reaction from the kids. they literally flock to me. My friends' children try to get me into their room and tell their parents to leave just the two of us alone. They cry for that. If we are out walking, they want to walk a few steps away from the parents and just with me, holding hands and talking.

    I don't have and am determined to never have children, but it is because I am a chicken shit and can't go through the possibility of losing a child.

    ReplyDelete
  48. mabye your just hideously ugly, kes.

    'mommy what's wrong with that mans face?'

    ever heard that before?

    ReplyDelete
  49. @anon nope. I've been told over and over again by a wide range of people about how handsome my face is. I have very good facial symmetry.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Zhawq,

    Thank you for your input, I'd like to provide you with a little more information on the emotions that I can feel. Happiness is not very often I'll admit, I consider myself to have felt happiness when a genuine smile crosses my face, not one that I've had to fake (that being said my fake smile and my genuine smile are practically identical. I spent quite a lot of time studying the works of Ekman and several other works on body language to make fitting in that much easier.) It can be prompted via something that I consider to be particuarly good going my way, however if something good happens to a friend that wont in anyway that I can see effect me, I'll have to fake it. I'm not annoyed or angry that something good has happened to them, it just doesn't fill me with the joy that other people seem to express.

    Anger is something I feel quite often, but have learnt to control quite well. I have varying degrees just like everyone else, all the way from slightly annoyed to unbelievably livid. When that occurs I lose control, to steal a metaphor from Hervey Cleckley, when I reach that point my mask of sanity doesn't slip, I practically rip it off. (The Mask of Sanity, for any of you reading, is an absolutely fascinating book on Psychopathy and I'd highly recommend getting your hands on a copy.)

    Sadness is not something I feel very often I'll admit. The only time it really happens is when I've been after a girl (I'm referring to a relationship, I've yet to have what people would call a "proper relationship" originally it was because I just had no wish for none, however now I've found myself curious as to how it would effect me, and if we're being perfectly honest, the idea of constantly being alone isn't all that appealing.) and this girl rejects me. It's a mixture of annoyance at the huge waste of time the exercise has proved to be.
    (Another reason I assumed I couldn't have ASPD was because I could develop feelings towards women, however after reading the blog entitled "Do Sociopaths love?" I was most shocked whilst reading to find myself saying "well...yeah, that's how I work.")

    My ability to manipulate, at least in my own opinoin is quite good. I use my intellect to logically walk myself through how people react to certain situations, once I figure out the correct "action-reaction" combination I need to achieve my ends I put my plan into play. Occassionally I'll admit, things don't go to plan, but for the most part manipulating people isn't a huge problem. One incident that I'm particuarly proud of is not only showcases my ability to manipulate, but my patience.

    A woman I worked with started an argument with me when I was in a particuarly vindictive mood, afterwards she demanded I apologise, I refused, she wrote letters about me and I almost lost my job as a result. Instead of acting out instantly I went and apologised, and was always pleasent with her, made sure to never speak ill of her around other staff. I did that for six months waiting and watching for the perfect opportunity to present itself. I then discovered she'd done something against company policy, then as opposed to running immediately to managment and having the rest of the staff view me as a snitch I waited until a night I knew two certain staff members would be finishing with me, and during staff drinks I allowed it to "slip" that this person had done something. The two staff members was the manager whom I knew had a sense of justice, and the other was the guy who was standing next to me when I discovered she'd done this deed. I proceeded to tell the manager afterwards that I was unaware that what she'd done was against policy and that I didn't want to cause trouble making sure to use passive body language and facial expressions. She's no longer employed at my place of work.

    ReplyDelete
  51. continued from last post...

    The last point I'd like to touch on, more just to provide some clarity as to where exactly I am with it.

    "it's like performing a group dance that you don't know. You watch those around you and attempt to emulate them, however you'll always be one or two steps behind."

    For me it has given me the ability to be two steps ahead, because I can predict by using my intellect. It's not a deficit in itself."

    I agree with that statement, the dance analogy was more for when I was growing up. I originally acted out of instinct which I very quickly learnt was not what everyone else was instinctively feeling. I began to watch and learn overtime, using my intelligence over the past 8, nearly 9 years now I've learnt the appropriate emotions for almost all the situations that life can present me, and to be honest I find being placed into a highly emotional situation with other people and having to fake my way through it one of the more activities that I can engage in. Why? Just to see if I can keep up, it's kind of like a workout I guess...

    ReplyDelete
  52. Zhawq at 4:59pm:

    Thanks for the definitions, I'd been wondering about them :)

    Kesu at 6:07pm:

    I believe young children rely more on feeling than thinking in the sense that they don't tend to deliberate morally.

    They typically lose this ability as they age because they're taught to suppress it in favour of moral decision making.

    For example a mother may pull their child away from a homeless man or woman with tattoos, even if the child *feels* they are 'safe', but not from a businessman or homely woman. In doing so she inadvertently teaches them not to trust their instincts.

    I find it very easy to connect with young children and animals - they're also very often drawn to me.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Edit: ...but not from a businessman or homely woman, even if the child *feels* they aren't 'safe'.

    ReplyDelete
  54. anon4:07
    has a good question. My psyc teacher told us that although its very rare a psychopath/sociopath will sometimes have an intense feeling for someone whether thats just a feeling of ownership I don't know but that they will go out of there way to protect this person from others. Have any of you felt this protectiveness for someone?

    ReplyDelete
  55. Yes. I know I have. I wrote a lot about the alpha beta relationship. I think it was Saturday night. If you look back at those comments then you should get the idea.

    ReplyDelete
  56. So is Luther miss overbite's beta?

    ReplyDelete
  57. I don't think it was Saturday, or at least I couldn't find it in the Saturday posts thanks for answering Kesu

    ReplyDelete
  58. Alice protects him like a fresh kill.

    ReplyDelete
  59. The 'Ian' character in Luther seems plausible enough. The real life socio's that I've been close too have even more emotional virtuosity than me tears and all. I believe true socio's wouldn't see the point or even know how to share or compare what goes on inside. So deep, complete and detailed is their universe that 'undiscovered', they will even take their 'play' to the grave just like ian. I don't think they are capable or have the need to stand down or soul search like empaths and NTs. So outwardly, extreme empaths and NT's are more likely to be perceived as freaks when they vacillate between 'being guarded' to control their emotional impulses and their often self defeating need for catharsis.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Wait till they start researching PD's in the animal world. My own interest in ethology so far extends to the dogs that I've spend time with. I accidentally conditioned a timid needy dog to be ruthless and narcissitic. She's a laugh a second now and stares down other bigger dogs including alpha's when they cross her path. A friend's psychopathic dog however, has an instinctive ambivalence towards me when normally she would usually establish her dominance with strangers both human and canine, through extreme hostility.

    ReplyDelete
  61. I wrote the Dear Doctor Sociopath letter, and just wanted to say I was not being sarcastic, but self-deprecating. I know you P/S folks don't come on this board to be Dear Abby for broken-hearted betas like me, but thought that your genuine insight, should you choose to bestow it, might be helpful. NO "regular" people will give any advice with any usefulness at all. They simply don't get the dynamics involved. So I cast my net, put the question out there, knowing that I would likely be shot down by at least some, but that maybe someone would have some suggestions I could actually use. I totally agree that this is a power play, and that I shouldn't exhibit victimized reactions. It's hard for me to be anything other than what I am. I am a maskless empath who is just now beginning to realize who I was married to, and reading your comments is a huge step toward understanding my own life. This blog has aided me in ways nothing else ever could have.

    ReplyDelete
  62. It takes a village.

    ReplyDelete
  63. louis vuitton handbags, http://www.louisvuittonhandbag.us/
    oakley sunglasses, http://www.oakleysunglasses-outlet.us.com/
    oakley outlet, http://www.oakleyoutlet.in.net/
    michael kors bags, http://www.michaelkorsbags.uk/
    coach handbags, http://www.coachhandbagsoutletonline.us.com/
    jordan shoes, http://www.jordan-shoes.us.com/
    mulberry outlet, http://mulberryoutlet.outlet-store.co.uk/
    the north face clearance, http://www.thenorthfaceclearances.us.com/
    hollister, http://www.hollistercanada.com/
    ugg uk, http://www.cheapuggboots.me.uk/
    lacoste polo shirts, http://www.lacostepoloshirts.cc/
    cheap oakley sunglasses, http://www.cheapoakleysunglassess.us.com/
    swarovski jewelry, http://www.swarovski.in.net/
    cheap ugg boots, http://www.cheapuggboots.net.co/
    gucci handbags, http://www.guccihandbags-outlet.co.uk/
    michael kors handbags, http://www.michaelkorshandbag.co.uk/
    wedding dresses, http://www.weddingdressesoutlet.co.uk/
    cheap nfl jerseys, http://www.cheapnfljerseys.org/
    north face jackets, http://www.thenorthfaces.in.net/
    ray ban sunglasses, http://www.raybansunglassesonline.us.com/
    coach outlet online, http://www.coachoutletonline-store.us.com/
    toms outlet, http://www.tomsoutlet-stores.com/
    michael kors handbags, http://www.michaelkorshandbagsoutletstore.us.com/
    oakley, http://www.occhialioakleyoutlets.it/
    louis vuitton outlet, http://www.louisvuittonoutletstore.name/
    2015919caihuali

    ReplyDelete

Comments on posts over 14 days are SPAM filtered and may not show up right away or at all.

Join Amazon Prime - Watch Over 40,000 Movies

.

Comments are unmoderated. Blog owner is not responsible for third party content. By leaving comments on the blog, commenters give license to the blog owner to reprint attributed comments in any form.