Friday, May 23, 2014

Manipulation 101

I was a very manipulative child but people started resenting it immensely as I grew older. It was a struggle to learn subtle manipulation tactics to replace my heavy-handed ones but now I have sort of a personal rule (aimed at sustainability) of using only subtle manipulation, except in emergency situations.

My favorite subtle manipulation that I use multiple times a day is to refer to people by what I want them to be to me, e.g. friend, lover, colleague, etc. I learned this when I was taking a swimming class that also had a very small diving component. The diving coach only came one day to work with us. We were all beginners but he had us circle around and said, "Hello divers." The rest of the session whenever he wanted to get our attention, he addressed us as divers. It seemed weird at first, because I had never had any formal training in diving so I didn't feel like I deserved to be called a diver. It didn't seem totally inappropriate given the circumstances, however, and there was something about him always referring to us as divers that made me think that I was a diver, or at least that I was capable of being one. I saw what I was doing as not just messing around, but taking the first steps on the path to becoming a diver. I continued to think about myself in that context for the rest of the session, unconsciously trying hard to live up to the expectation that he set for us of being "divers".

Since then I started calling people by their title. When I greet people that I like and want to be loyal to me I say, "hello friend," or "hey buddy." As long as the person does not actively hate me, referring to them in this way causes them to behave more friendly to me, no matter how close we actually are (or aren't). I like to call my bosses "boss" because it subtly strokes their ego without seeming sycophantic. I even call my relatives by their relation to me, particularly if I need to somehow leverage that sense of blood to get something from them. It gives everyone a sense of security, a sense of concrete position and value in the world. They're grateful to you for this, and they also feel that you "believe in them," particularly if the title you are referring to them by is somewhat aspirational, e.g. "tax expert" or "plumbing guru." Try it, I think you'll like it.

Any other favorite subtle manipulation tools?

242 comments:

  1. Funny I do this exact same thing. Strange isnt it? I just started doing this last year. I used to call people sir or miss, to fake modesty and politeness, but people would say, "Please call me Jack." It would piss me off, pretty much for the reasons on the last article. So I started calling people friend or mate. They all took pleasure in knowing that I'm their friend.
    I use a lot of subtle manipulation. When I know someone is going to fuck up and it will effect me in a minor way, but make them feel very guilty about it I will let them so that they will do anything to get back in my favor.
    When I talk to people and want a YES answer from the qestion I'm going to ask them I prep them with questions that can only have a YES, and nod my head with them. Once I get to the actual question I keep nodding as I'm asking the question and I usually get a yes.
    I used to pressure people while negotiating with them by taking my watch, pen, notepad, and cell phone and moving them closer to the person while I'm talking to them. Soon it crowds most of their space on the desk and the person will start to lean back.
    When I use violence to get someone to comply I will always come back and give them something nice. Drugs, money, or pay their hospital bill. Doesnt matter. Just a gesture to show them that it's not personal. People around you look at it as you being fair and beyond generous. The person who crosses you fears you all the more.
    I like to ear hustle constantly. Listen on peoples conversations. If I hear something I need from someone I will make my way to them momentarily in the night and weave what I need in the conversation knowing that they have it and most times they will volunteer it.
    I change my accent constantly to fit in with rich people.
    I swear a lot on purpose when I want people to underestimate my intelligence.
    With some people I change my expressions as they tell a story just to see what reaction I will get from them. Like when they tell a story I know to be true I look at them with disbelief just to make them defensive because it amuses me. Or when they are joking around back and forth with me I will suddenly go dark on them just to see them get scared.
    I like to show people I really need in my life a 'personal side'. Most people see me as cold, because the way I talk to people and treat certain others. I also dont have to many conversations that are prolonged throughout the nights its just about business. The people I really need I like to show them a side that not everyone gets to see. A side I custom make for them. One they touches their heart. That's why people close to me will always tell you I remind them of .
    To convince people to do things I will talk to them in questions that lead them towards the answer I want.
    I use questions constantly to divert, confuse, and control conversations.

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    Replies
    1. Well what kind of questions do u use?

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    2. watch out, we got a badass over here

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    3. i approve of everything that you do. will you teach me? please?

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    4. As much as i ate to stroke peoples egos I have to say some of that is pretty clever

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    5. And that there is a basic case of a
      psychopath

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    6. Sociopath actually

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    7. You and I are very alike c:<

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    8. Weird, i've been doing that subconciously since i was a child.

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    9. People who manipulate other people are constantly manipulating people using every work they say to their advantage, so you ignorant people need to be constantly looking for what is a manipulation and what is not.

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    10. I tend to imply a subtle doubt of qualities I know I posses to a great extent (for instance, after making a small mistake [deliberately, of course] I'll exclaim that I'm a fucking idiot) it makes those surrounding me think about my intelligence, and realize its magnitude.

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  2. Correction: That's why people close to me will always tell you I remind them of..... a person that they were real close with that arent around anymore.

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    1. Ukan. Long time. Kage here. You lucky fuck. The site was downed but we are still about.

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    2. how many steps do you think ahead?
      As I myself always like to think ahead by at least a minimum of six/ seven at a beginning of a conversation and have been capable of thinking even twenty-six steps forward (my average being around fifteen), I am curious to know how many steps you are in front?

      of course, this question does not only apply to you. If others are not bothered, i would like to hear answers from the audience also

      Sincerely

      { }

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  3. You sound like a bad actor, UKan: stilted amateur, much?

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  4. that doesn't even sound like ukan.

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  5. My story is pretty much like both yours, M.E., in terms of childhood, and yours, UKan, in terms of what I've been doing since I found that I had to find different and more subtle ways of manipulation than I could exercise as a child.

    It surprises me a little to hear you only started doing this a year ago, UKan, I can't imagine how it must've been to NOT do it.

    It's such an integrate part of me, it's (also) who I am and how I behave with people.

    And yes, it's a wise tactic to show people a little nicey-ness after having had to be more physical or otherwise 'unpleasant'. I've been doing this... well, always.

    ...Only a year, wow. You've certainly learned fast, UKan.

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  6. Anon, it doesn't matter if this is UKan or not.

    People like us can change, you know, it's also part of what we are.

    But if it is UKan, we'll know soon enough. Everybody have their trademarks. ;)

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  7. i kicked the shit out of a guy for shortning my name to mike when he first met me I'm imposible to manipulate

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    1. Why don't you like the name Mike? Triggers a nerve or something?

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    2. bullshit, making up a story like that youre probably an idiot who gets manipulated constantly.

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    3. Maybe he wanted you to kick the shit out of him...

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  8. I flirt with everyone, especially those who dont have pretty women flirting with them on a usual basis. It is my way of making them remember me even if they never see me again.

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  9. I'm the only person on here who doesn't ass kiss UCan.

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    Replies
    1. u dont know what you're missing out on.

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  10. This is actually very interesting. I tend to be too honest with my relationships with people. I do not consider a lot of people friends. Even if I've known them for a long time. They'll automatically call me 'friend' when I think of them as a 'friendly acquaintance'. I tend to say this to people though and they can be highly offended, as if time is the only criteria for friendship. If I decide to avoid this kind of thing that seems to hurt peoples feelings I simply call them by their name. It also encourages a sense of familiarity but without letting them know how I consider our relationship.

    (I use 'relationship' in the literal sense of a connection, association, or involvement. Not with emotional undertones)

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  11. Nobody really cares about what you do anyway Adam.

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  12. ext: friendly acquaintance, acquaintance, not friends, etc.

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  13. The world is going to know me one day.

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  14. I like the one where you give them a choice but it doesn't matter which one they act because they both yield what i want. Kinda like how democracy works.

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  15. lollol for what adam? murdering ur dumb aunt?

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  16. Haven:

    I know a lot of people, but call none of them friends, and all of them acquaintances - despite that many of them have tried to be my friend. They bore me and I feel lonelier with them than when I'm alone. I used to feign giving a flying fuck about TV shows, movies, bands, celebrities, gossiping, drinking, shopping, weddings, and so on. I've always given great ego stroke and let others feel vastly superior to me, but I got to the point where I couldn't be bothered to feign what I didn't feel if I didn't have to out of some sort of necessity, and cut a lot of people off cold without any feeling at all. They've tried to contact me over the years but I've never bothered to look back. Now, I'm a recluse, although I do enjoy listening to a lot of random people's secrets and they seem to enjoy telling them to me.

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    Replies
    1. Completely understand. I'm the exact same way. What brought you to this site trying to change that aspect?

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  17. ^ Hey, you remind me of me.

    If I wasn't insatiably curious about what lies beneath the surface of people and life, I'd be dead.

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  18. will to meaning, retards.

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  19. @Anon 7:51... I definitely know that sense of feeling lonelier with people than if I were actually alone. Sometimes this happens with friends, usually with acquaintances, and almost always in large crowds of people I know. Oddly I feel less alone in crowds of strangers. Probably why I like wandering NYC so much.

    A lot of people want to be my friend, try to. I'm always suspicious of peoples motives and yeah, get bored or aggravated with people easily, so I don't want them closer to me. This keeps them in the acquaintance range as long as they're decent to me. I don't know what I'd do without some support base of friends though. I've done the recluse thing. It doesn't work out well for me.

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  20. hctib erom xus rorrim ru

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  21. whatev my mirror rulz lol

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  22. "If I wasn't insatiably curious about what lies beneath the surface of people and life, I'd be dead."

    will u let me know when u run out of curiosity so I can cook you for dinner. i promise not to make a tv meal out of u hehe I will just stew u gently but u will need to simma for a bit too.

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  23. boosting people's ego's should be common sense manipulation. i never considered it manipulation until i read this post but i've been behaving this way since the time i was born. the only trade off is that i call people "friends", "lover", "etc" who i really want in my life. i don't waste manipulation tactics on people i could care less about. i basically manipulate for a good cause, if you will, like building relationships and all that jazz

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  24. thats nothing i shook the shit out of my three-month old daughter when she tried to manipulate me by crying I'm imposible to manipulate

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    1. That's fucked up. Abusing your baby child because she cried? All children do that, you douche. She's not even a year old. She's not trying to manipulate you, she's three months d and doesn't understand the word 'no.' Go to hell you asshole. No person as ducked up as you should be a father.

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    2. U pos waste of poor quality air lowlife. Nice brue

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  25. STFU, you knuckle-dragging idiot. Your kind of pathetic D-R-I-V-E-L is reserved for wannabe losers who speak for nobody and certainly not us sociopaths. You clearly couldn't manipulate your way out of a plastic bag and are kidding yourself if you think you're anything more than a butthurt fanboy who will ever win at anything.

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  26. Did you read that, Michael? He insulted you by calling you Mikey AND said you couldn't manipulate your way out of a plastic bag! Yeah, right. As if! Go tie one over your head right now and show him he's wrong while counting down slowly from 1000, mate.

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  27. i think my baby is broken coz he keeps shitting all over the place and doesn't even try to make it to the toilet and he cries every time i give him a shot of vodka. what a little faggot.

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  28. thay sucked mah dick

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  29. I didn't start manipulating a year ago you dunce. I started calling people friend or mate a year ago.
    Adam I don't want my ass kissed by people who are insignificant like yourself. From the little I saw of you before my absence you were a laughing stock. I guess you must be a joke because here it is months later and still people are laughing at you.
    If you perk your fucking ears up you might learn something. It surprises me that nobody else on a sociopath board has techniques they use to manipulate people because I could write on this for weeks. I find it humorous that so many people must've impersonated me that nobody knows the real UKan. You missed me so much you had to make a new me. Im fucking flattered.

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    1. It amuses me to see all of you fall into each others games, the majority of you are at your best novice to this game

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  30. i said that it didn't sound like you because your writing skills seem to have improved slightly since you were last here.

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  31. shut up you faggot

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  32. Dont worry. As soon as we get a new fish to pick on I will revert back to sounding ignorant. I was hopig all of you would be gone and I could start fresh with a new batch of naive heartbroken confused people. Alas its the same lot.

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    1. I'm new here. It's my first time visit here (check my IP if you think I'm "manipulating you").

      I'd love to hear more about your techniques because I've been seriously screwed over and it's time this nice girl turned nasty. Well with your help of course.

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    2. SIM...what have you learned? I'm New here now and want to learn as much as possible. No need to divulge my motives, just teach and I'll listen.

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  33. jeeze it's attack of the anony-schizoids...

    some good manipulation methods already mentioned. some subtle, others not so much.
    one that i've been practising since it was brought to my attention (by TNP?) is the fact that people behave in a compensatory way. if you want them to do you a favour next week, then this week make sure that that they believe they treated you unfairly. bring it to their attention in a subtle way, and if they mention it you must insist you don't mind, or understand it was an accident, or whatever. when you then need them to come through for you the next week there is a much higher success rate. recently i did this with my boss (who i often call 'boss'/'chief') so i got a good review, and i've ended up with a promotion.

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  34. Yawn, Res. No one gives a fuck about you or your promotion to menial automaton. If you were a real sociopath you'd be installing a dictatorial regime instead of sticking a review of your slavery on your fridge and crowing about it on a website.

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  35. ^ur all faggots^

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  36. I'm sure a lot of us could write volumes on manipulation, subtle or otherwise. I'll add one I haven't heard here yet.

    Someone might know something that you want to know, or verify. If you ask them, you've given them a choice. If it's in their best interest to lie or deny it (which it often is if you're resorting to manipulation) then they most likely will.

    I find people are uncomfortable with their truths being contradicted, so it's easier to say something that they will by instinct correct than it is to ask. They will either correct you, and tell you what you want to know, look awkward and go along with it, which means they probably know better, or agree comfortably, thus putting to rest your suspicious.

    Really damn good liars can pull off the latter, but not often. Another way they usually muck it up is they get overly enthusiastic when agreeing if they aren't awkward looking.

    Like I said though, really cool heads/good liars can mess this up, but there are surprisingly few of those.

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  37. Over the past year or so I also often call people "sir" (friends, not higher ups; makes them feel like men) or "friend" (when I'm just starting to get to know them and know that they will be useful to me later), and I'm also aware that others that call me "friend" like that are often doing the same thing, so it can be mutually beneficial. I also make sure to compliment people I am just getting to know, and introduce myself to as many people I can.

    It's only over the past year that I have realized how much I used to unconsciously manipulate people, and now that I'm aware I use it to my advantage, although I thought at first that maybe I should stop doing that. It used to be more of a pity play "I'm sad" thing that I used to do, but try not to do that anymore. I used to be totally schizoid and quiet and made it obvious that I didn't want anyone close to me, and my demeanor/appearance intimidates a lot of people (they find me intriguing for that, though, but are often scared) and now I'm kind of the opposite. Very gregarious, affectionate, playful. It's like my personality did this totally switcheroo. And it's all for one goal, because eventually all of these people will be my audience.

    I don't do guilt tripping like Res does, never have.

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  38. Also, knowing more people means more information. I know all the ins and outs of my field now, the politics, the relationships, the personalities. I know everyone worth getting to know in my city in terms of my personal goal, and right/top people who will forward my career all think I'm awesome, I know from others how said people work, and when I'm ready I will have it all at my disposal.

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  39. Guilt tripping is extremely effective though. Even if you're dealing with someone who can't feel guilt, if you convey the point that it's in their best interest to do it, they often will (even if it frustrates them) you just have to know the person well enough to know if you should be heavy handed or not.

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  40. Even if you're dealing with someone who can't feel guilt, if you convey the point that it's in their best interest to do it

    That's not guilt tripping though. Guilt tripping is about the self, not the other person. It's a "you owe me" or a "if you don't do this I will feel sad/mad".

    It's smart to convey to them why doing something is in their best interest, and not your own; the opposite of guilt-tripping. Especially if you are dealing with non-guilt people; how could guilt-tripping possibly work on them, unless you include threats of some sort?

    I can see guilt-tripping being effective only on empathetic/sensitive people.

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  41. "Even if you're dealing with someone who can't feel guilt"


    They aren't very common, at all.

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  42. Overt threats and violence are the best kinds of manipulation, you pussies are scared to do it though.

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  43. A subtle and friendly approach is much more effective that threats and violence on most people, unless you are keen on burning bridges. Vinegar or sugar, etc etc.

    It's not about being "scared", it's about not being stupid.

    Your macho act is bullshit, Kesu.

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  44. When I want to manipulate I act as the guru, people are astonished at how well I can disect the minds of ex boyfriends/girlfriend, I've frightened a few people though, when I'm in the zone I do a lot of pointing and make piercing eye contact.

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  45. I'm good at dissecting the minds of others as well. A lot of it comes from a lifetime of just being quiet, listening, observing, and paying attention.

    The strong, still, piercing eye contact thing does wonders, and it's a good way to size up someone with even having to exchange a single word, depending on how they react. Most people can't handle steady eye contact.

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  46. Brute-force is extremely effective, people will do anything for you if you can threaten them with violence. Dictatorships are one of many examples, violence is a powerful ultimatum of control.

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  47. Once you live or work with a person for a while, you size them up, they are either a predator or a victim, when they are a victim they are a toy to be used, they can deny your orders or stand up to you, but by now you know them more than they know themselves, you can laugh off their petty defiance because you know they are good natured and you have nothing to worry about. There is no boundries with these, you can do as you wish.

    I haven't as of yet found out how to control another predator, any intimidation or manipulation will be reflected, they are wise to your manipulation and they play their cards just as good as you do.

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  48. i know this guy, he's not a predator or agressive in any way. he's heavily in debt and has been threatened with violence a number of times, but he just doesn't give a damn. He's had all types of crap going on in his life, like his girlfriend dumped him, he lost his job and he's had to move back in with his parents, but it's as if nothing bothers him, he just laughs it all off! is there a name for a person like that? someone who doesn't take anything in life seriously, even when it is deadly serious.

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  49. Violence is the last resort and many times its a short term solution. In the long run if you use it too often you alienate yourself from everyone else. You either have everyone in fear of you or you bite off more than you can chew and end up being the victim. A reputation built on fear alone is foolish. You leave the door open for someone, includig the police, to come in and switch peoples loyalties who are only to happy to get out from under your oppressive grip. I don't think any of you talking about it have actually applied what you are saying to your real life. If you have it was on such a insignificant scale youve learned nothing from it.
    I keep people under my protection. They tell me themselves that they feel safe when im around. Im not a big guy either. I just take things to extremes most people wont and I have a lot of people behind me that love me. Key word: love me. If they feared me once again they would eventually turn on me as you would be in a situation where your only as good as your last battle. One loss and the fear is gone.
    I have a friend who is huge. Im sure some of you do to. How much power does he possess? My friend does what I tell him to and he both loves and fears me because of all the stuff he's seen me do since childhood.
    Violence is a cost. War is a cost. I just lost my club because I won a war. The amount of attention drawn to me was to.a point where I had to decentralize and become formless once again. My enemies suffered greater but who were they? Cockroaches. Was it worth it? Yes because all means of diplomacy were exhausted, my reputation was on the line, and the real enemy pulling strings needed to be flushed out. In the end though it was a.major cost of time, money, and risk and I would have preferred avoiding it as I just bought a new car and my weddings around the corner.

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  50. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr8Y9qguTgc

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  51. Do you have the capability of thinking and simulating events, Medusa, or are you intellectually incapable of such behavior?

    If such a concept is foreign to you, perhaps that is for the better. If you think of manipulation as a one-way rolling train instead of an intricate web to strangle someone with from many angles, then of course your effectiveness will be limited.

    When you live life on one side of the coin, and watch life on the other, you learn how to utilize a multi-branching manipulation that works on both sides.

    You're like a Freshman who walked into an advanced class and barely understands the fundamentals. You're participation and input is laughable, and your best course of action is to sit down, shut up, and listen, for all the good it will do you.

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  52. Oh yah, hi medusa. How are you?

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  53. UKan RessurectionApril 22, 2011 at 1:28 PM

    Notable you are a theorist. I haven't seen anything extrordinary from you the entire time I've been here. Unless you've totally done a 360 since I last checked this place you are a trick. I've never seen anyone get manipulated so many times except GRK and he had the common courtesy of changig up and going anonymous. You had the nerve to write your own blog. It amazes me how dillusional you are.

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  54. You've really lost your touch, UKan, that, or you vastly underestimate me. Probably the latter. It's why your 'business' had all those pesky problems as of late. The only delusion here is that you think you're on the top of your game, looking down on the rest. That turd that just landed on your face and slid down your shoulder, that's from me.

    Cheers

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  55. You only shit on yourself Not Able. Everyone here laughs at you. They can't wait for you to stick your foot in your mouth again just like they can't wait for me to come back and slap your boring banter with insults.
    You are going to attack me on good decisions I made? How desperate. Let's talk about something more entertaining like your pathetic "manipulation" tactics. Like when I told you how I would manipulate you and how you still fell for it. Or how medusa spun you around so many times I got dizzy watching. Yet here you are bouncing your head against the wall hoping time will heal your reputation. It hasn't. Youre still a mark waiting to be used. Unfortunately your only use is mild entertainment and even that is running out. I mean how many times do you fuck with the same person before getting bored? Do you have any friends like you?

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  56. TheNotableNigerianApril 22, 2011 at 1:47 PM

    Greetings from nija.

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  57. Kesu said...

    Overt threats and violence are the best kinds of manipulation, you pussies are scared to do it though.

    @Medusa If you are so good at dissecting people then why can't you tell that wasn't me? Dumb ass. Have I ever said anything so directly insulting? No, I haven't. I'm about finesse. I can be blunt but that was so obviously not me. Macho-ism? Most of my posts come off as genderless. Thus why people think I might be a female.

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  58. I knew it wasn't you. It sounded more like adams stupidity vs your usual tedious comments.

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  59. Oh mah gawd! He has x-ray vision like ME! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!

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  60. @Ukan Congrats go get yourself a cookie or buy yourself a nice shiny sticker.

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  61. Ha ha ha. Now you know its me.

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  62. Note that some of these aren’t “manipulation advice” so to speak, but more common sense things everyone should learn.

    First off, I’d like to advice any neophyte manipulator a trip to www.paulekman.com and sign up for a course, it gives you access to still pictures and training in recognizing the emotions of your peers and lets you learn how to mimic better. Secondly, if you’re someone with little or no humor naturally, learn to tailor your jokes to the person, most people like someone who makes them laugh, and they especially like jokes that make them feel superior to the target of the joke. Furthermore, if someone’s laughing they are off balance, which means they are less likely to notice other issues, such as the fact that my Duchenne smile is far from perfect.

    I tend to tailor my language to whomever I’m addressing and for what purpose, this means increasing or decreasing the amount of cursing I do appear less intelligent, using highly complex language combined with assertive body language when I want my idea accepted as most people will rather say “yes” than admit that they didn’t understand what you just said. I also tend to consult my superiors in business with decisions I’ve already made even if I know exactly what they’ll say because it makes them feel more important, in the loop and makes me appear more dependent on them than I actually am.

    I have cursory knowledge of many fields, because sharing an interest or a passion increases the “bonding” between you and the other person/group, which again increases familiarity and thus the chance that they’ll attribute “bad” behavior to anything more than “awww he’s having a bad day” or “he’s really stressed”. Keeping “tabs” on popular opinion and learning how to use the language of politicians, religions and other snake-oil salesmen, namely being subtle and speaking in broad terms so the person(s) you are speaking to can attribute their own opinions to your words.

    Violence and threats are limited use tools because they are so utterly unacceptable in the society in which I live. Having a tool that you can use in your arsenal doesn’t mean that you always have to use it, sure, I can drive a screw into a wall using a hammer, but using a screwdriver is just so much more suitable. Having to use violence means you were unable to control the situation by other means and other means should always be your first, second and third options.

    One of my favorites with a sexual interest is to appear outwardly cold and business-like with them for a period, then occasionally let them catch me glancing towards them and if possible quote poetry, which hints at an inner tortured and suppressed romantic.

    It sounds cliché I’m sure, but compliment those things about them that other people do not, if you say, “I love those shoes”, “Your hair looks beautiful” or “I could drown in your eyes” what the woman hears is “Hi, I was looking for an excuse to talk to you”. That is unless you’re through enough social capital able to sound convincing while delivering such blandness to the world.
    The most subtle of manipulation techniques; body language is something which I find is the most effective. Mirroring the body language of your target is effective, such things as nodding while listening to them rant on about something they are in favor of while leaning towards them are very effective.
    If you find yourself having to apologize, I find that bowing your head, having a hunched posture and rubbing the back of your head is very effective at lessening the anger of the person doing the berating.

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    1. You.... lol, I've dated a you

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    2. You.....I am you. I also once dated a you AND had a 'best friend' that was a you. Of the three of us one had a conscience, one seemed to (jury still out) and one surely did not. Both my friendship and 'love' affair ended simultaneously. It broke me.

      Delete
  63. What I've found is that if you isolate people from their other friends and family they become soley dependant on you and much easier to control and exploit. You can do alot to them, including violence but the wont leave you because they have nowhere else to turn. You just have to make sure you don't take it to far and that you redeem yourself every once in a while If your interested in keeping them. Violence and intimidation doesn't always work and only people with low self respect and esteem take constant abuse. Alot of the time people like that are worth more, and will give you more once you've raised their spirits anyways.

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  64. Too much complimenting for me personally. I find that the less you give general compliments and instead wait for times where giving a compliment will gain you something is more effective. When people aren't use to you giving them praise when you do it it means more. As long as you haven't been overly negative to them before. If they dislike you many times giving them a compliment will only make them angry. As it comes off as sarcasm or patronizing.

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  65. It's strange for me manipulation has always been a game. Of course everything is to me. Yet I'm never as happy as I am when I am doing it. It is so fun to me. Sometimes I try to change peoples perception of simple events. Just to see if I can alter their view of it and how far I can take it.

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  66. I never knew I was manipulative until someone told me I was highly manipulative.

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  67. i'm confused. i don't see why Ukan gets on NOTABLE, i don't see the issue with NOTABLE. he has a blog, so what. he only posts his philosophies about sociopathic matters instead of dumb stories like dumb Adam beating up his ant, or Ukan being the second coming of Gotti, so what. sorry i don't get the bashing, i don't get how he's easily manipulated, i don't get all of that, and believe me, i've been reading this blog since forever. he's just another poster with his opinions and his ways like everybody else. i don't see why he's constantly berrated.

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  68. That is exactly why it is strange to me. They are just things I have always done very naturally. It has become more of a cognitive process as I've gotten older but I still do it without intention at times. Maybe a small lie that diverts attention or makes people relate to the situation and see it as normal. People have told me so many times that they wish they could do what I do. How I make people do things for me without their knowledge. Even stupid things like getting a friend to make me a sandwich. They make and bring me what I ask for and then it is like they snap out of a trance. Some even ask me why they did that. I just shrug not wanting to give a real answer. The truth is when I get into manipulating someone I enter the state of flow. So I half know what I'm doing and half reacting.

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  69. Here is the thing anon. Ukan has been gone for awhile. So he has to get back into the dog pile. Which means he has to snap at the others and re-establish himself and his place in the pile. Basically he is making sure to instigate small fights to say I am here I am capable and I will fight. It isn't an abnormal tactic.

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  70. Ukan, you are an elemental force of nature. It's good to have some weather here. The party has arrived!

    If I want something I grab on that desire like a piranha. That said, to get to my goal I will assess a situation for what best supports my goal. Being a support system, kind ear or holding the ground of being stubborn, using staying power, doing the opposite of what I said I would do, fact finding, giving attention, withdrawing attention. Well placed and honest compliments raise a room.

    And the most important is gaining knowledge, that is the juiciest. Isn't the point of playing a game to exercise your ability to learn, not just win.

    I am manipulative if I really want something to happen.

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  71. kesu thinks she knows it all.

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  72. woof woof grrrrrrrrrrr

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  73. thems's fightin wordsApril 22, 2011 at 4:28 PM

    who wants to fight? say something, and i'll disagree with it.

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  74. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  75. This is a spoof from BETTER OFF TED

    "thems' fighting words" needs some creative language ammo there partner.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bh7Nz4bIwss

    Veronica quote: The forest will run red with the blood of woodland creatures who doubted little Veronica and will now pay with their furry little lives.

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  76. Im just making things lively in here Kesu though your theory is very primal. It gives me purpose and reason. I envision a snarling dog jumping into the pack snarling and biting the rest of the dogs.

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  77. this place died after me whent on holiday. it's going to take some reviving.

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  78. Kesu do you feel that your lack of trust in relationships is due to your trouble regulating emotions or a feeling of "worthless" or "damaged."

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  79. "I flirt with everyone, especially those who dont have pretty women flirting with them on a usual basis. It is my way of making them remember me even if they never see me again."

    Hey Steph.

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  80. Ukan 1:03 AM
    Anon 2:49 PM

    Thank you.

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  81. @wet no I think my lack of trust springs from my paranoia. The entire perception that I think this way and others must also means that I have to always be on the look out. That is why I'm always on the look out for peoples objective. If you can identify the objective you can see the path they are on. See that and you can bend their purpose to your own and you wil never deviate from your own objective.

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  82. one of the best ways ive found to manipulate people is by gaining rapport and then giving them an order. fancy techniques arent horribly effective against everyone, and they are not passive at all and require a bit too much planning to use on the fly, but practice makes them useful.

    also google search "social engineering" (its the science of manipulating people for profit) as i dont believe it has been brought up yet and IT IS (more or less) what we are meant to do, and its fun. if you want to improve manipulation skills researching this can help to an extent.

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  83. Why do you all talk the same? Do you read the same business magazines or play the same computer games?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i have a feeling that the talk is the same because they are probably one person posting as several people to stir things a bit ....even the fighting seems like a person playing a chess game against themselves

      Delete
  84. @Gillespy. I agree people are malleable but not in a passive way. That's why I won't invest too much in fixed mindsets just because it has worked before, even on the same morons.

    I do however enjoy planting seeds of doubts and information in them to speed up the awareness and resiliency to other typical manipulators. Most of the time it backfires and makes them more confused when I run out of energy and influence to follow through. But what the heck, it's still entertaining to see some unpredictability in firing up dull synapses and cost me practically nothing none the less.

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  85. Okay, I'll share something about manipulation, but not my techniques (not here and now, anyway).

    Manipulation is the root pattern of everything I do, everything I have ever done at any time.

    I'm a diagnosed psychopath, and have been doing jail time for murder and other crimes.

    When I was released a couple of years back I had my diagnosis re-evaluated, convinced I would get my psychopathy label recanted.

    But it was confirmed, something which infuriated me - not least because I had payed for it this time, thinking it would be different when a clinical psychiatrist outside of the prison system did the assessment.

    After receiving the 'news' of my diagnosis a few months back, I created a blog - much like this one, but more narrow in it's focus (being mainly about psychopathy and my own views).

    I decided to tell people the truth, to really be honest, which is something you can't really do if you also manipulate. And I must admit that whereas it's easy enough to be brutally honest in the here and now, it's a challenge to stay honest consistently - honest as in not manipulative, but I'm really trying.

    I've noticed this is something M.E. have had issues with too, and certain readers have come on very hard on him because of it.

    People aren't aware of how much we live manipulation, how deeply rooted it is in us, because we don't have the socialized integrated (sense of) selves.
    They assume we always have malicious intent when we manipulate, but a lot of it is simply habit, cultivated from early on in life.


    UKan:

    "I didn't start manipulating a year ago you dunce. I started calling people friend or mate a year ago."

    Heh, well that makes more sense... 'dunce', eh? Guess you aren't referring to the philosopher either, but that's UK, OKan-Uspell, I never made a secret about my having dyslexia.
    I can still read though, this was clearly a subtle misunderstanding.


    "Adam I don't want my ass kissed by people who are insignificant like yourself."

    Oh we've been trying to tell this little twat how it is with this. Best thing, really, is to let him fry with his ravings and shit.

    He's a lonely kid who never got any love from mom, dad, or anyone else - and for obvious reasons, who on earth would love someone like him. Ha!


    "From the little I saw of you before my absence you were a laughing stock. I guess you must be a joke because here it is months later and still people are laughing at you."

    See that, Adam? Your hero is virtually quoting me, you little shithead! :D


    "If you perk your fucking ears up you might learn something."

    Don't hold your breath, mate.


    "It surprises me that nobody else on a sociopath board has techniques they use to manipulate people because I could write on this for weeks."

    And so could I, but I'm not going to. That's not what comment boards are for - but in all honesty I guess my reasons are not really about comment board behavior.


    "I find it humorous that so many people must've impersonated me that nobody knows the real UKan."

    I've been following about 50% over the last month and have seen two attempts at impersonating you.


    "You missed me so much you had to make a new me. Im fucking flattered."

    Yeah, well tell me about that one, lol. Not on this board, but on a 'few' others.

    Now man, that was interesting shit from me! Yeah, I'm actually having a good time these last few days - due to subtle, as well as less subtle, manipulation off the Internet.

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  86. UKan,

    on a second note, it was you who misunderstood me!

    I didn't think you started manipulating a year ago, I'm not exactly an idiot (dyslexic or not).

    I was referring to the tactic you mentioned having started using:

    "I started calling people friend or mate a year ago."

    That's what somehow impressed me, because I began doing this as soon as I hit puberty.

    Yeah, another misunderstanding... hopefully resolved. - And if not, who cares.

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  87. @GagReflex

    by passive i mean my personality is more like a crawling landmine than a heat seaking missile. i tend to get myself in the right place at the right time to score some extremely high rapport (95% of the time i get a pet out of the deal when someone approaches me by means of their own will, whether or not i fixed the situation.) compared to when i try to go for certain people directly, which has a far lower sucess rate. mainly because when they approach i can usually tell what they want, and i appease their desires in order to acquire a new pet. going directly for them takes more observation and effort, and any techniques used for approach without obvious reason to would be appreciated mainly because its the only difficult part. aside from the patience.

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  88. Im just throwing shit at everyone. Nothing personal. You were just there.

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  89. Like I said. Dog pile growl and bite.

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  90. Why would I call inspiration manipulation?

    What ME tells below is how a good teacher inspires his students, not how he manipulates them:

    "there was something about him always referring to us as divers that made me think that I was a diver, or at least that I was capable of being one."

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  91. Paraphrasing ME:
    As long as the person does not actively hate me, referring to them in this way (hey, buddy) causes them to behave more friendly to me, no matter how close we actually are (or aren't).

    I (female) do this often without even thinking about it, once I told a male police officer 'ok, honey' when he asked me to U around because he blocked the road. He said in a very sharp tone "don't call me honey.' I said 'sorry, seems to be the thing to do down south.' He was not smiling.

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  92. 'I tend to say this to people though and they can be highly offended, as if time is the only criteria for friendship.'

    yes. i get this. My reasons for considering someone a friend is about natural affinity, not time. I resent having to associate with someone I dislike simply because they are there when I don't like them or find them heavy-going.

    One example of people's weird idea of friendship is when I asked the narc at work if he has female friends. He listed a bunch of female colleagues of ours and I was pretty incredulous. What was especially fucked up was when he professed that I was also his friend. I replied, 'I am not your friend.'

    Wow, so damn presumptuous and deluded.

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  93. Heh, maybe he didn't like your looks

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  94. UKAN, can you elaborate on the following. In particular, what purpose does it serve?

    UKAN said: "I used to pressure people while negotiating with them by taking my watch, pen, notepad, and cell phone and moving them closer to the person while I'm talking to them. Soon it crowds most of their space on the desk and the person will start to lean back. "

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  95. When he leans too far, he will fall. Muppets

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  96. UKan said...
    Dont worry. As soon as we get a new fish to pick on I will revert back to sounding ignorant. I was hopig all of you would be gone and I could start fresh with a new batch of naive heartbroken confused people. Alas its the same lot.
    April 22, 2011 10:34 AM

    YOU GO UKAN! THANK YOU FOR THE REALLY USEFUL CONTENT YOU PROVIDED ON MANIPULATION TECHNIQUES.

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  97. Shut the fuck up Soulful Path/Funny bit.

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  98. Kesu said:
    "If you are so good at dissecting people then why can't you tell that wasn't me? Have I ever said anything so directly insulting? No, I haven't. I'm about finesse."

    I knew that wasn't you, and I love your finesse... Light is still on...

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  99. Anonymous said...
    kesu thinks she knows it all.
    April 22, 2011 4:04 PM

    Projecting your self 'know all? Kesu girl now?


    Funny bit takes it as a compliment being mixed with Soulful Path.

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  100. Kesu said...
    my lack of trust springs from my paranoia. The entire perception that I think this way and others must also means that I have to always be on the look out for peoples objective. If you can identify the objective you can see the path they are on.
    April 22, 2011 7:29 PM

    Kesu, now I understand why you asked me that objective question some time ago. I was not able to figure out my own objective. Did you figure out my objective? Did you figure out the path I am on? ( Just curious, no mocking or ill intention objective here)

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  101. -Did you figure out the path I am on?-

    We are are all on a path ----- young grasshoppers.

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  102. M.E. wrote...
    My favorite subtle manipulation that I use multiple times a day is to refer to people by what I want them to be to me, e.g. friend, lover, colleague, etc.


    ha. i've run into this way too many times. this is a very tough one to pull off. more often than not it comes out as patronizing and inappropriately intimate. it brings to my mind slick overbearing salesmen and weaselly con artists who just can't stop yapping.

    i think you have to be really charming to make this manipulation technique work. not everyone is, though i suspect M.E. can pull it off.

    outwardly i always respond warmly. there is some entertainment value in seeing the slight smug flash of success that evokes.

    here are a couple of basic techniques that i find useful:

    1. know your audience. people usually want to please, but not everyone. ask questions, let them do the talking.

    2. ask directly for what you want. let them turn you down, make that okay. you will seem like a reasonable person and they will be more eager to accommodate you next time.

    the best defence against manipulation is being honest with yourself. if you don't listen with your ego, then it becomes pure negotiation with the other. if you can see what they really want, it may work in your favour to give it to them. or not. but it's your choice.

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  103. UKan,

    I know. Just decided to throw a little back at you, is all. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  104. be kind to someone and you can manipulate them in a positive direction :)

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  105. Anonymous April 22 2:49pm... Brilliant, Dio?

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  106. I always thought I was a really weird person. I attributed it to my intelligence - just figured someone with high IQ must end up seeing things differently.

    Reading this blog for a couple weeks has me thinking maybe I'm a sociopath or aspd or something. I'm a bit old to be realizing this now, which points to not a sociopath (generally self-aware). Also I couldn't imagine sawing into another person's flesh or holding someone's hand on a hot stove.

    The funny thing is, I've been really convinced for a very long time that I have empathy. Like when I see a person hurt my *immediate* instinct is to help them. But I realized shit I might just know that it's the best opportunity to build a relationship fast. Who's a cheaper date than someone who needs medical attention, for instance? Hey look I ripped up my t-shirt, stopped the bleeding, and saved your life. Instant rapport!

    Reading these manipulation techniques I'm thinking "yup", "yup", "yup", "check", "check", "check", etc.

    Actually I've known about sociopathy for quite a while. At first very disturbing and I came here to learn how to fight a sociopath. Little bastards keep showing up at parties. It's really obvious to me when someone else is trying to "win" a conversation, instead of just talking.

    Ended up finding a beautiful similarity between the more intelligent posters here and myself. Actually since reading this I'm no longer offended by the p/s types around me who manipulate conversations to gain image - instead I just see it as part of the game.

    You all are beautiful, beautiful creatures. Except the stupid ones. Except the stupid ones who are actually smart. That's another thing I've wondered about myself. Am I actually not really smart, but rather right at the maximum smartness to be smart but not smart enough to hide it level? Hmm.

    the anonymous feature is nice. I know some of you peeps are within cruise missile range of me

    I think perhaps I've gone way too long without just admitting to myself that yes, my true nature is that kid I used to be. If I become aware of the mask it's scary, but being scared of the mask is part of the mask.
    hmmmmmmmm

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  107. Anon April 24 9:36.

    That your impression of Aspie? Not so much.

    I could teach you, but then you'd know I wasn't really an Aspie.

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  108. "the anonymous feature is nice. I know some of you peeps are within cruise missile range of me"

    LOL--as always, all the best to your arsenal.

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  109. I have over the years found that the most pleasurable form of manipulation is to work behind the scenes. I will step forward make a shallow connection with the main player give a subtle push in the right direction and then sit back and watch. Inevitably the final outcome of the interaction of those around me will always benefit me and as a bonus the players will usually reward themselves and be even easier to manipulate next time.

    I will, when things start to go wrong, step in and correct it with more direct means but it is so much better when everything just works out right the first time.

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    Replies
    1. A.K.A "puppet master" - nice. But I hope that you aren't suggesting you play hero when things go wrong because a true sociopath mostly seems able to continuously throw situations into turmoil without, notice.

      What I am saying is stop being a B*&()<-----(just so you know the brackets are for you to 'manipulate' the final few letters of the ?)

      Have fun!

      Delete
  110. Manipulating my college teachers is a good one. It's amazing how little you have to do to get away with so much when you're in school and college. My personal favourite is to act mysterious, agitated and depressed. Although the teacher may not consciously notice these things, subconsciously they will. I can use this to further manipulate if needed, i could say that i am autistic or depressed for example, these have many uses. I can then use these as excuses if needed, and at the same time get sympathy and extra attention (hehe) Pre meditated manipulation is always the sweetest. I too also use "boss" when addressing tutors, you can see that they enjoy being called it.

    Subtle manipulation techniques i use are things such as mirroring the persons words and speech style. If they have particular phrases they use, then use them back to him/her. From experience it's better to change them slightly though. Subconsciously this makes them feel that you are the same wavelength and since it is familiar words, more comfortable. If the person is upper class, then i will make sure that i speak well and clear, and use fancy words. But if am speaking with a general moron, i will use more common slang words.

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    Replies
    1. There was me thinking it was hard reading people (sigh!).

      Try psychopath - the difference between that and socipath warrented two seperate words. Believe me.

      But, using S.E.N as a means of manipulation - whilst it can work, it is not only cheap and earns you bronze award. It also fits you in quite nicely (and easily if I may add) at 1st place psychopath.

      Well done - astonishing achievement mate!

      Delete
  111. I dont know an extensive amount on sociopaths, but from what I read somewhere I'm pretty positive my boyfriend is one. Is it wrong that even though I know this, and I know what he's done in the past, I still want him and love him and want to be with him? Because even though his love is an act, it's way better than any normal person could give me. I want that feeling, whether it's fake or real. And to be honest, the normal guys can't handle me..

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    Replies
    1. Good to see you on this forum! You want advice - use and abuse him because as far as i'm concerned, the fact that you caught him out (time being a situational factor) suggests he may be a shitty sociopath and that you may have some skill.

      'normal guys can't handle me'<--- hehe, perhaps you recken yourself more of a sociopath then you thing. perhaps... you have answered your own question.

      Delete
  112. You people think those tactics will get you what you want in life? They wont. You are all stupid if you think it is wise to manipulate people. You wont learn that until you are much older and die alone and hated. You poor deluded fools.

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  113. Hmm. Interesting blog and interesting comments also, regardless the crap discussions between some people.

    I wasn't gonna leave a comment, but reading how many people use fear to get what they want just gets to me. I suppose they mean fear and not actual violence, because thats even a more shitty way of doing things.

    Ended here while researching to improve some of my skills. I have an advice for all you people that also ended here, like me, and may be thinking to use fear or violence for manipulation.

    Try out friendship instead. It's harder at the beginings, but you may get a better outcome and maybe gain a friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A true sociopath has friends, wrapped around his/her little finger (notice how I am not sexist hehe)and uses whatever methods at his/her disposal.

      You clearly have a hard time instilling fear into people's hearts and being their friends also, ergo you are a shitty sociopath - who doesn't fuckin belong on manipulation 101 or any other sociopath forum for that matter. With that said, do everyone a favour and f&*^ off!

      Delete
  114. I use to do this since I had to do something that would make sure that my 'friends' stay by me so that I can make use of them. I've only ever considered 1 person my friend. As I've always thought, making friends is a weakness. When I was younger, I made a friend. I thought we were close but I overheard her saying bad things behind my back. I didn't act as if I found out but slowly I drifted away, obviously she didn't notice. I still act as if I'm cheerful and like my 'friends' and they in turn continue to crowd around me, though it kinda gets irritating after awhile...

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    Replies
    1. To be honest with you mate, its not that she didn't notice you drift away because firstly, she didn't give a shit and secondly looks like she thought you were a 'weakness'! hehe.

      p.s. don't try acting slick in the future, 'obviously she didn't notice' because now it appears that everyone (yes everyone) knows just how stupid you are; amongst other 'bad things' <---- hehe.

      Delete
  115. Wow AnonymousJuly 3, 2012 3:01 AM, don't you feel lonely?

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  116. How this world seems to be getting worse and worse sure does beat me, but you know we live in one full of sheeps - who will do anything to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be a sociopath because, quite simply, if you are not one - you never will be! Oh and I forgot to mention, to all those who are annonymous. Why? You don't need to hide behind the scenes to be a sociopath because a true sociopath runs the show.

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  117. Do you consider this flirting?
    'What time do you open?'

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  118. Interesting conversation....
    Here's something you guys might be interested in.. there's a tv series on Netflix called "Revenge"... it has a ton of manipulation.

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  119. Why should you even try to manipulate someone in the first place? To get what you want by deceiving is the answer. People who try these pitiful techniques are the worst kind. Weak and without the slightest fragment of honor and self respect. Really?! Flirt for people to remember you? It is like whoring yourself for attention.. What has the world come to that people give advice on how to manipulate others?! Sorry for flaming that much though i was really surprised by all this.

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    Replies
    1. surpirsed by all this? how did you find this blog in the first place? did you not google something on manipulation....allthough if you have to ask why manipulate then you do not understand it at all. However i bet you are a god fearing christian who also believes that faith is the only thing that matters in life, that in itself makes you weak because you have faith in a fictisous person rather then in yourself .....also when you ask what is the world coming to? this makes no sense because the world has always been this way however it is more known simply because of the technology and increasingly available social media at our finger tips.

      Delete
  120. The best thing to do is establish a relationship with someone tell them lies about what makes you sad, and they will tell me their fears, dreams, regrets, and the one thing that inflicts emotional pain. When I get bored of them I use all of it against them. Some of them are in hospitals for attempted suicide.

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    Replies
    1. My condolences to you. It feels good being good. Being bad might feel good, too.
      At the end of the day both of us are dead but I was a soldier of love, and you?

      Delete
  121. holy fuck i never realized what i was doing until this thank you very much every one for the info now it will be easier to the other side.

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  122. This is awesome. Thanks to everybody who played this game.

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  123. Very kind empaths may like to be called someones buddy out loud, other type of folks may become "a little concerned"/beady eyed by hearing such stuff..

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    Replies
    1. You can usually tell based on the initial reaction as to whether it is a good idea or not. For example, I once referred to a new associate professor by their first name (more personable if you are old enough, and they don't appear conservative or stuck up), but I could tell when his face froze for a second and he became still for a brief moment that that would not work with him. Since he was new, I am guessing it had to do with the prestige of the PhD and title, and certain expectations. So now I call him by his honorific. So yes, there are risks.

      Delete
    2. Bobby, it's not very personable, or wise, to just start calling associate professors by their first name. It's too familiar and shows a lack of respect.
      He is not your gardener after all.

      I think it makes a lot more sense to introduce yourself properly.
      Eg. "Hello. I'm Dr Robert Tweedy. Please feel free to call me Bob..."
      Tells him you're friendly, subtly encourages him to be less conservative, and he will feel better because he can set the stage:
      "Hi, Bob. I'm Professor Phil McCrack. You can call me Phil."
      Or if he likes his formalities:
      "Pleasure to meet you Dr Tweedy. I'm Professor Phil McCrack."

      Give him a little show of respect. People like that.

      Delete
    3. Usually yes, but this particular person was very upbeat and personable. Quite liberal. I obviously know the difference now, based on his initial reaction, but it was a case where it seemed appropriate, but the person still clung to their fresh new PhD and half-tenureship. Some professors go to work in hawaiian t-shirts playing pop music through the lecture halls. As for this case, the faux pas has long since been fixed, but it was an applicable example.

      Delete
    4. I hear you. It's the same with doctors.

      Some seem like the friendliest, most down to earth people, but actually really like their bullshit little power trips.
      Like your guy.

      And some seem strict and conservative as hell, but show them some respect from the start and they are pussycats.

      You would be surprised how many staff specialists ask me to call them by their first name.
      I never do so in front of a patient or their entourage though.
      They feel appreciated and respected and the favours they have been known to do for me because of such a simple thing...

      One nurse took it upon herself to call the oncology specialist by his first name. He gave her a whole speech how he couldn't believe the nerve. But for me it was perfectly fine. He knew I respected him and felt comfortable being friendlier with me.

      Delete
  124. Now that M.E. has decided to leave us, to whom do we turn
    our attention now? I have a suggestion:
    There is one individual who has been described as a textbook
    sociopath. She can be studied and observed in real time. She is
    almost universally reviled and her life presents an almost
    "serial" look into the day to day challenges of a sociopath. How
    can the most hated person in America-if not the world-function in
    society? The person's name? Acqutitted child murderer Casey
    Anthony.
    You see, Casey is in the rarest of classes: A person who literally
    got away with murder, known by millions who walks among us.
    What could we predict for such a person? That she would
    recidivate and end up in prison again? That she would marry an
    older "sugar daddy" and fade away from lack of media attention?
    There are so many possible sinerios about what might happen.
    O.J. had fame and fandom. Lizzie Borden lived on her murdered
    parents money. But what would you predict for Casey? She has a
    family that still supports her, and she has "minders." What does
    the future hold for a notorious sociopath under the microscope?
    It would be an interesting study for those interested in sociopathy.
    What role will attraction and gender play? Could she ever be
    reformed? She is a unique study in our "social media times."
    No common sociopath has faced quite the challenges she faces.
    It wouldn't hurt to send her funds.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She's not leaving the blog. Just taking a break.

      Delete
  125. When you are manipulating someone, do you ever feel like they know what you are doing and have allowed you to do it? What would you call that exchange? How do you pick a target to manipulate? Is it usually out of a need, benefit or something you want? When you manipulate to exact revenge, how do you judge if they are "deserving?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Usually only if you're too obtuse or too quick at it. As for allowing it, that depends if they say anything about it, assuming they know. This is universal whether you're a sociopath or not (the only difference really being is if they know you are sociopath). In any case, the trick to any real successful manipulation is to have them want to do it for you. Best cases are when they think it was their idea, which depends on subtlety and finessing the conversation. It's about suggestion, not overt manipulation.

      As for why, that depends on the situation and the person. It can be all of the above. Same thing applies to retaliation.

      Delete
  126. What if they didn't know for sure and only had a hunch and what if it is with two like minds but the other didn't know or recognize it in themselves until a game of manipulation? What if the target somewhat enjoyed the retaliation and "game" aspect of it? What if they were acutely aware as a manipulation of their own? Would this have been a subtle manipulation to make the target feel as though they are the one who is socio? Is this strange?

    ReplyDelete

  127. HELLO VIEWER ON THIS SITE I BELIEVE DR BRAVE IS THE BEST SPELL CASTER ONLINE.

    Hello everybody am short of words because i never believed that my wife that is gone for 3years could come back to me within 48hours,My name is Robert Buyback,i live in Maryland/USA,and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife.so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce.she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she didn't love me anymore.So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again.So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife.So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com}So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who didn't call me for the past seven {3}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster.So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit this great man called Dr.Brave,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to the bravespellcaster@gmail.com for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again. {bravespellcaster@gmail.com} Thanks...

    ReplyDelete
  128. M.E. Is in no way "taking a break." We have seen the last of
    M.E.
    Whenever we return to this site, we will see the final posting of the
    girl on the diving board.
    I wanted M.E. to mentor Casey Anthony. I said so a few mounths
    back. They could be perfect for each other.
    Have you any idea what M.E. could do with Casey Anthony? She
    could own her. She could mold her. Casey could live and work with
    her. And there's a definate book in it for her! Two of the nation's
    most prominent sociopaths teaming up! M.E. wouldn't have to hide
    like Catwoman.
    I think this is why God pardoned Casey, so she could get together
    with M.E. It's a win,win for BOTH. We must support both to the best
    of our ability.
    BTW, how about M.E. turn this blog over to Bob? (I suspect the gal
    named "Mach" is too busy.) Bob is easily on M.E.'s comprehensive
    level.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is flattering, but no thank you. This is M.E.'s "baby", and as such is entirely within her sphere of influence. It would be inappropriate. That being said, I also do not have an interest in running or maintaining a blog, regardless of the above. As far as my interests are concerned, I am satisfied commenting on occasion.

      Delete
    2. M.E. and Casey Anthony teaming up together?

      The movie rights alone would make M.E. rich beyond her wildest dreams!

      Delete
  129. Some non-empaths get delirious with anger when folks try to get "personal" with them, mail that starts with "Hi Bobby, we love you as customer Bobby and.." Such crap can send the average Scorp (zodiac Scorpio) into a rage. The Scorpio variation known as "Virgo" may sometimes be even more sensitive, hissing like a viper, grabbing the offensive letter & softening it with "palms of fury", and later using the "hi Bobby, we love your money"-shite to actually wipe shite..

    ReplyDelete
  130. I guess I stopped trying to manipulate people like I don't anymore... either that or I'm doing it all the time but it has become so habit it feels like I'm just doing the right thing.. I mean I try to be a good friend I think that's all that's needed.

    ReplyDelete
  131. One manipulation tool I like to make everyone else think my idea was everyone else's. When it suits me, of course.

    Example: some time back, during the final class of the semester at my school, I wanted to go to this nearby bar. But I was short on cash and I didn't want to give everyone the impression that the drinks were on me. So I picked out four or five of my gossipiest/chattiest classmates and asked, "So we're all going to the bar after class, right? That is the plan, right?" If they asked where I heard it, I just said I overheard someone else talking about it. Then I just sat back and let them spread my idea to my classmates like a virus. In the end, we all went to the bar and I conned several classmates into buying me drinks in exchange for hilarious (and totally false) stories about me.

    ReplyDelete
  132. I don't like to manipulate people. I just like to influence them.

    ReplyDelete
  133. When I want to manipulate a specific person I watch their interactions with other people. Their speech patterns, their sense of humor, etc. Then, I parrot those interactions back at that person. If they like to swear a lot and talk about drinking, then I like to swear a lot and talk about drinking. If they're obsessed with their husband and talk like a valley girl then I do too. It puts them at ease and makes them think we're kindred spirits or something. Then they're more open to suggestion and doing what I want.

    I'm often a completely different person to different people. My personality, my mannerisms etc. I'm adept at convincing people we're friends because people are narcissistic at their core. They love having themselves reflected back in somebody else. They get addicted to it. Which makes them want to keep me in their lives. Of course once I get bored with the charade they can't figure out why I'm no longer they're perfectly compatible friend. But it's not a facade I like to keep up forever because it just takes too much energy.

    As a kid I used to practice asking people things and predicting their responses. I would watch them interact with another person. Then I'd parrot the interaction just to see if I could get the same response. Now I'm so good at it I usually know exactly how the person I'm talking with is going to react before they do.

    I'm also good at planting ideas in other people. That started as a child too. If I wanted something but didn't want to risk being the one to get in trouble I realized I could simply get other people to do and say things for me. All I had to do was bring what I wanted up in a round about way and watch the other people run with my idea. This again ties into studying people very closely and predicting exactly how they're going to react.

    I also play the responsible, decent, hardworking, intelligent, individual very well. It makes people willing to trust me and give me the benefit of the doubt once I start manipulating them for my own ends.

    These aren't things I even do consciously at this point. They're just a fundamental part of who I am. I don't actively wish other people ill, unless of course they've crossed me. It's just who I am. I'm a manipulative person. Doesn't make me evil.

    ReplyDelete
  134. He spent 60-years learning, studying and testing hypnosis techniques. Many of them he pioneered. His skills became so proficient he could hypnotize subjects while talking with them. They had no idea what was happening. Yet they followed Dr. Erickson's commands on cue.
    The main focus of his work was on applying hypnosis in medical or therapeutic environments. He also used his knowledge in daily situations to gain a considerable advantage over others.
    For example, up until 1953 doctors were banned from using hypnosis while treating patients.
    The American Medical Association (AMA) prohibited members from the practice. Dr. Erickson believed hypnosis was a viable and effective therapeutic tool. To keep his medical license, he became an expert at hypnotizing patients during "normal" conversation. He broke the rules and taught himself...
    read on here: http://tinyurl.com/np8k7w9

    ReplyDelete
  135. I am Mrs. Rhoda from new york. i want to use this medium to congratulate Dr solution ORACLE for the great help of spell he has render to my relationship outbreak. since the past 6 years i was in a relationship problem with my ex, he always get me beating, i never knew he has another girl outside the town, her
    name is ALICIA, until i got this great spell caster email address from the internet, so i email him and i laid all my complain to him, he promise me that i am to keep off away from him, and i really agreed on it, but beign a spell caster, he promise me that my lost ex will be back,,,, he really put some few items which he uses to consult his great oracle, his plan for my relationship was fulfill and my lost ex was back again within 48hrs... please if you are in such mess or in any critical condition, today please
    contact him at solutionwhitmagicspell@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  136. You guys all need help..you think you are controlling this, but it is controlling you and you will not be able to turn it off when you get married and have kids and have people around you that you will yearn to love, that is, if you will even be able to love.

    ReplyDelete
  137. My friends have been manipulated before so they know all the basics, impossible to manipulate them in any natural way. The only way to manipulate them to do your doing is to cause them to have fear and they do your bidding.

    ReplyDelete
  138. I been reading some of these responses and I'm a little thrown back but I've done a lot of this too without giving much thought to it or even considering it manipulation...

    Last thing I do recall doing intentionally for manipulation is actually fishing for trust, letting people confine in me out of lack of other choice, feeling that they owe me. Then I get to OWN them. Example:
    My 1st day at a new job, a co-worker somewhat superior to me goes to buy a snack and a pack of smokes, swipes the credit card and... it's rejected, maxed out. I just happened to be there. People get really uneasy when that happens, and other than stalling the line at a store they get odd, judging looks from complete strangers who probably already spawn a whole horror tale about this person because a credit card got rejected... I didn't think twice, paid for the crap and told her she can pay me back whenever. She was thrown back by the gesture, thinking I'm some kind of saint just because I got her out of an unpleasant situation (as trivial as it is really). She certainly didn't forget, returning money and some "extra value" in workplace loyalty.

    Other than that I try to make small "investments", like bringing candy or other small tokens with me from a holiday abroad. If I want to "own" someone again, I'll single them out by bringing them something different and better than for the rest. They'll feel "special" and side with me from then on.
    To think what a box of candy or a bottle of nail polish could do...

    ReplyDelete
  139. Hello :)
    I'm a newbie here!
    I happen to pass by this while checking some random stuff and I thought "Why not?"
    I actually do 80% of your manipulating tactics. I thought I was a great manipulator until I saw your post, Ukan :) Thanks for some information that I could really use in the future... By the way, I'll be turning 14 next week so as a ''young lady'' do you have some subtle tactics I could use that matches my age?

    ReplyDelete
  140. This is interesting: a forum for monsters. You people truly want to make me barf. You are the lowest cum imaginable and don't deserve to breathe. Of course, being monsters, you could care less.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *scum (unless you really do mean cum, and that somehow semen has a rating that I was unaware of)

      Delete
  141. Sorry, you people truly make me want to barf.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really? You are the one that believes others don't have the right to breathe... to live.... Who the actual fuck made you a god? You're not my supervisor. You sound like a cunt. Kill yourself, and promise not to breed first.

      Delete
  142. I don't like when people do that to me, what you write in your article. It is easily seen through, using clumsy names like that reveals your agenda. Lucky for you most people are stupid.

    ReplyDelete
  143. Soldier in DistressNovember 6, 2014 at 6:49 PM

    I just recently got out of the military after 7 years my wife also just recently got out of the military. I have 4 daughters with her ages 3,2,18 months,3 months. I love her to no end. My issue is she has a lot of baggage from her past and she struggles with trust so of course when an ex messaged me on facebook she assumed i was cheating and it led to us being separated. She was raped by a man while stationed in germany long before we met and her father was an abusive drunk growing up who cheated on his wife (not her mother) consistently even taking her to the womens houses and bribing her with ice cream. We are currently separated because she refuses to go to marriage counseling. She now stays with the woman who her father was married to and use to abuse. For obvious reasons this makes things worst for me as her "step mom" paints a portrait to my wife that marriage period is a bad idea. Long story short my wife has a lot of issues and regardless i love her to death. I am looking for some tips on how i could manipulate her in the short term to go to counseling and get help and for her to come home. I'm sick and tired of seeing my daughters cry because mommy is leaving to go to her house. any comment is greatly appreciated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Soldier in DistressNovember 6, 2014 at 6:55 PM

      BTW we speak and see each other everyday and we still fuck all the time and i have even convinced her to go to a relationship seminar which improved our communication tremendously.

      Delete
    2. you should not wander Into a wolves den and politely ask how we steal meat ..we all thank you for your service but your asking for advice based on compassion from a dark room full of narcissistic predators. Who have gone thru life mimicking people like yourself who have feelings and guilt remorse and all that other crap...sorry... to all the others but I was taught not to play with my food

      Delete
  144. As a child i always knew exactly what people wanted to see, so i gave that to them. Its a useful skill i still use today. I am able to say exactly what teachers want to hear. I show them that i have capabilities and they get my trust and respect. And I can cry in front of threatening authority to allow myself to be the victim while at the same time controlling the authority into my demands. Not only with authority but with friends. I'll fake a laugh at a joke i would've actually stayed stoic at, and cry with a friend when they need support when i actually could care less. I gain their confidence and have the ability to have their full trust. And so that they also feel equal i'll tell them a story or something personal which is actually a lie. Then they are under complete subject of me. Each time it just gets easier to fake the laugh and tears. I know exactly what people want to hear and see, and i give them that and leave a positive and trust gaining impact on them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that you've convinced us your not a wannabe sociopath how bout you share some good advice on actual manipulation techniques we can all benefit from. I would like that for my own selfish reasons

      Delete
  145. Well then here I am .... I expected when I found others ..they would be more ....

    ReplyDelete
  146. I have a daughter she was born with this gift so I'm trying to make sure to educate myself so I can teach her to be better at it than myself she is all ready in GT(gifted and talented and also has earned a yellow belt in jukido MMA she is 8 and looks like she jumped out of a sears catalog ..... I realized she was trying to learn to fit in and manipulate early on and helped her because my grandfather seen it in me and kind of helped teach me before he passed

    ReplyDelete

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