Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Q&A Tomorrow

When the book came out a year ago (by the way, the paperback came out last week), I promised a Q&A that I never got around to doing in the ensuing fallout. I've been thinking about going on a hiatus for the summer or otherwise being less active on this site, or at least maybe trying that out. But before that, I wanted to do another Q&A. So I'm going to be around tomorrow periodically checking the comments section throughout the day and answering questions that people may have.

To get us in the mood, some Q&A I did with a reader recently:

1) You have attributed your ability to see inconsistencies (in belief systems and behaviors) to your sociopathy. Don't you think that may have more to do with your native intelligence than your personality disorder? I, too, score in the 99th percentile on shit, and I often see inconsistencies in political platforms, news reports, stories friends tell me, etc. I'm also about as empath as you can get.

I do think some of it is intelligence, but also when I used to hang around very smart law professors all of the time, it was also apparent that my different worldview made me see certain things that they wouldn't unless pointed out to them and vice versa.

2) I frequent a few recovery sites for people who have been involved with psychopaths. People often post what "their" psychopaths have said. What struck me about most psychopath apologies is that they often allude to shared blame. Something like: "I'm sorry things turned out the way they did", not "I'm sorry I hurt you." My ex was very fond of citing "miscommunication" as the cause for all of his interpersonal problems, for example. 

It seems to me that the perfect manipulation would be an imitation of a sincere apology, and sincere apologies involve taking responsibility for one's actions. If you really wanted to manipulate someone into sleeping with you again, giving you money, etc., you would say something like, "I take full responsibility for what I did. It was wrong. You didn't deserve that." And then proceed to ask for what you really want. 

Why wouldn't sociopaths imitate a sincere apology? Why is there always a hint of self-justification, which weakens the manipulation significantly?

In fact, why would any truly amoral antisocial person feel the need to justify themselves or their existence? Presumably a desire for self-justification falls on a spectrum, just like anything else. I suppose sociopaths' unwillingness to claim responsibility for their destruction of others reflects their belief that victims are complicit in their destruction. But why wouldn't they even seem to take responsibility

I think the sociopaths are usually being a little sincere in their apologies when they're mixed like that. Sometimes I give insincere apologies, and you're right, they are profuse and over the top and I accept all blame.

3) On the topic of self-justification, you mentioned recently that sociopaths' ruination of others can paradoxically improve their targets. This sounds like disordered thinking to me.

Destroying victims' boundaries and making them feel bad about who they are can make them realize their own worth and, to a lesser extent, rectify their flaws. Sure. But you can achieve the same goal by being kind to someone, becoming their close friend, and then gently suggesting that they improve themselves in a certain way. Sure, it stings a little when a friend tells you that you're not perfect. Once the sting is over, you feel grateful to this friend who helped you understand yourself and improve. It seems to me that there are better, less destructive ways of accomplishing what sociopaths accomplish, and that the ability to "reset" people's character ought not to serve as justification for the widespread destruction.

Targets have told me that, but I do agree it seems a bit of a paradox. Maybe see this.

4) Would you say that the following statements reflect how many sociopaths think?

You have said that sociopaths often see empaths as hypocrites. Empaths have moral codes but do not always follow them, and sometimes (often?) the codes themselves are flawed. For their inconsistencies, empaths deserve to be violated in every possible way - physically, emotionally, and mentally. (You may not feel that way, but that is certainly how my mega-psycho ex thinks.)

This, to me, exemplifies disordered thinking. It also amounts to what is, essentially, a stringent moral code - a strange circumstance for a group of people who call themselves "amoral".
This morality places consistency as the highest good and hypocrisy (really, imperfection) as deserving of severe punishment. (The term "punishment" implies morality, as well. If there really is no good or evil, then there ought to be no justice.)

Consistency is not the highest virtue. You can't say, "I am superior because I am consistently a hedonistic nihilist." One commenter on your blog suggested that, instead of framing this discussion in terms of absolute right and absolute wrong, we should view society as an organism and the actions of individuals as damaging or strengthening that organism. Empaths overall do way more to strengthen the organism. Sociopaths, intentionally or unintentionally, leave severe emotional damage wherever they go. And you yourself have admitted that sociopaths need society. They need the organism, but they often try to justify their damage to its members by citing empaths' "hypocrisy".

Isn't it better to be a "good" person most of the time than a "bad" person all of the time? And by "good", I mean good for something - for society. You yourself have said that sociopaths can do "pro-social" things (your blog being a prime example). If sociopaths think that society's norms are bullshit, who are they to mete out punishment according to their own simplistic sense of right and wrong?

I don't think sociopaths need to see empaths as hypocrites to justify their treatment of them. They were going to treat them that way no matter what, but hey, also they noticed that they're hypocrites. They're basically unrelated in the sociopath's mind, although it makes for good deflection when the sociopath is confronted about his behavior.

5) You talk extensively about your flexible sense of self, yet your writing voice is very consistent. You always sound like "you". How is this possible?

Also, you frequently associate empaths' strong sense of self with "Harry Potter" syndrome. The fascinating thing is that "sense of self" is actually a totally misleading phrase. I don't really have a strong sense of who I am. In fact, my association with a psychopath revealed myself to me in ways I had not anticipated. I cannot act, for example, to save my soul. I hate lying; it makes me uncomfortable. This is a good thing because I can't lie, either. Any time I try to act out of character, it is utterly unconvincing, but at the same time, I'm not really sure what my character looks like. I'm not looking for any sort of external validation of my self (a la Harry Potter) because I'm not really sure who I am or even how I appear to other people. What I'm trying to say here is that I have a self, not a sense of self.  That's why the Harry Potter thing doesn't really ring true, from my perspective.

I feel like I am me the same way that an operating system is a distinct entity. I have an iphone. It operates in particular ways. But I am not that particular model of iphone or version of the operating system. I'm not what I look like or act like in a particular moment. I don't identify with any of my output, only the way I think and process things.

You're not sure of who you are, but wouldn't it be great if someone came up to you and told you exactly who you were? Gave you an identity and said, without a doubt this is you and what you should be doing?

Also, about whether sociopaths are a net gain or loss to society.


  1. "You talk extensively about your flexible sense of self, yet your writing voice is very consistent. You always sound like "you". How is this possible?"

    I've read on this blog several times that empaths (or rather neurotypicals) have a strong sense of self but I don't agree - at least this one doesn't. I, too, probably always sound like myself especially in print but in one-to-one interactions, I can be a chameleon. In romantic relationships with someone I love and respect, my sense of self dissolves. I find myself agreeing with their views, pandering to their preferences and generally losing myself. It's probably co-dependency, and no doubt linked to having had a narcissistic parent. Being aware of it doesn't seem to change anything. It means I can't sustain relationships in the long term so it has cause me quite a bit of grief.


    1. To answer the question of the reader why socios do not manipulate any better: because you suffer more if you are not fully anesthesized. Otherwise the fun to ruin you would be too short. Manipulation is only a means to an end (ruin you, win, get narcissistic supply).
      Sometimes they can wear you down more effectively using this game of destruction and pseudoappeasement.

    2. Besides this, seemingly overt actions decrease resistance and revenge, after all we talk about high-functioning socios.


    This psychopathic spectrum test is a bit of a laugh. I scored a pathetic 27%.


  3. When someone dies or goes away people feel regret that they
    left things unsaid.
    M.E. said at the beginning of the post that she'd be leaving us.
    She may not have said it in a verbatim way, but one can pretty
    much glean that M.E, is soon to suspend this blog.
    Speaking only for myself I'd just like to say that I appreciate
    everything that M.E. has attempted to do over time.
    I see her as an asset to humanity. I love her as her empath
    brother she writes about in her book, who once messed himself
    does. It's sad to see her go.
    M.E. has the smarts, disclipline and protective rescources to live a
    full and "rich" life for many years to come. I see no reason for her
    to kill herself unless she develops a terminal illness. She might
    want to reexamine her homosexuality as that is that is an affont
    to her faith and her God. And if she gives her life to Jesus Christ in
    a heartfelt way, she will become a new creation in Christ.
    It's sad-though expected-that the blog is winding down. I wouldn't
    expect a sociopath to grasp this, but I DO love you very much!
    Now, here is the oppertunity for the others who post here to tell
    M.E. what she means to them before the sands completely drain
    from the hour glass!

    1. Hope you hit her 'Donate' button on a regular basis :)


    2. Holy Shit. M.E. is writing to herself.
      She only wants attention and comments that she should stay. But to be honest the last couple weeks her blog is getting more and more boring.

      Psychopath are empty and always will be empty sooner than later. She wrote all the interesting stuff a long time ago and today this blog only shows how less psychopath and how much narcissistic M.E. is.

    3. What's the point of this apocalyptic mood?

    4. Despite always justifying everything ME seems to try to get better for whatevers/whoevers sake. That feels good for empaths.

      The blog partly serves as a surrogate for the finnished empath-sociopath conversation after non-contact (but caution).

      It serves information
      It is a pioneer blog

    5. homosexuality is an affront to god but sociopathy is not? you are completely insane, and not in a zero positive way

  4. You're being humble concerning your intelligence. Seeing inconsistencies isn't your sociopathy. The 'very smart' people that you hang around who seem to be blindly flailing in the dark share a common characteristic. They're dumber than you.

    You share your thoughts, your ideas, and very often these sparks light aflame discussions that burn bright and hot before vanishing into a puff of smoke. That's great, but what I'm really interested in are people. Intelligent people, in particular.

    So, save me the trouble of inferring everything and answer this. What do you want from your life right now? What are your goals (even the outrageous ones)? Guessing games are fun for a while, but rather than alluding to what's going on in your life, why not tell us? We know your name, your face, your voice, and many of the events that make up the 'fallout' you mentioned.

    Perhaps my intuition is off (it often slips into paranoia), but for a while you've been sharing issues closer to your heart, sappy as that sounds. It seems to me that you want to share it, you want to be known. You wrote a book about yourself, and still nobody knows you! Sure, some people will deride you for it, question whether you're not multiple people, but that's only because the mask you've been wearing isn't one of sanity, but rather pure, untainted logic.

    What have you got to hide? What have you got to lose? You're a sociopath, if anyone gives you shit about sharing more of yourself, they can go fuck themselves :)

    1. Playing games all the time and a missing goal for life is one of the significant traits of a psychopath.
      You are writing here so often in the comments and have not really understood what its about. And why should a psychopath talk about himself and whats going on in his life. He/she will only tell you if it´s helps the psychopath for what ever reason. If it does not benefit he/she would never waste any minute of his/her life to let you know anything.
      A psychopath writing a book about himself is never only a psychopath. it´s all about narcism. To get attention. Nothing more.
      But it seems you expect M.E. to give you all her deep thoughts. About whats going on in her mind. All you want from a self called psychopath is nothing a psychopath will ever be able to give you.

    2. "A psychopath writing a book about himself is never only a psychopath. it´s all about narcism. To get attention. Nothing more."

      Can a psychopath not have mixed motives like the rest of us? She might have written the book to make money, to inform and educate, to become famous, to sell the movie rights, to consult on the film script and move to Hollywood as a co-producer, because she's looking for a new direction and thought the book could facilitate it, to ditch the law, to bring new people and glamor into her life..... you know, the many and varied reasons why people write books. Even psychopaths can be dreamers.


    3. I agree with Carrie. Besides- we all exist on a spectrum of antisocial tendencies- empath or otherwise. And nobody does anything for just one reason.

    4. At least not yourself, because everyone else external to you do things for just one reason.

  5. If you have mixed motives like "the rest" are you a psychopath or are you "the rest"?
    But most of the motives you list are motives for a narcism personality. To write a book to get new people and glamour in your life is a really long way to get what you want. Too long for a real psychopath. If a psychopath wants new people he will get them as soon as possible. If you want glamour you change your acting, the people you meet and search for new contacts in a fast and effective way.
    And I agree with you there are many reasons to write a book. But to write a book about yourself is a different thing. And its much more different if you write about something that most people fear and hate. You can be sure if you write such a book you will get a lot of attention but mostly not in the good way.
    And have you ever seen M.E. at Dr. Phil? It shows in a really good way thats all about attention nothing more. Its not about to inform and educate. Its really funny to see how hard she tries to fit in all the traits a psychopath should have.

    1. The clue is in the "us" ;)


    2. You do realize sociopaths are also inherent narcissists, right? Also, since you are the same anonymous commenter as before, I'll correct the other flaw - she is not self-called when she is professionally diagnosed. But since you either have never read the book or rejected what you didn't like, she gave out her letter of diagnosis in the first few pages of the book. This is a bizarre phenomenon I've seen repeatedly that doesn't make sense. You do understand she is a person, with its inherent diversity and breadth, and not a still shot of a desired model? Sociopaths are no more "flat characters" than you are.

      Here is an odd question: Why do you think after all the evidence (direct and corroborating) that people reject a basic fundament such as your sociopathy? How is circumstantial evidence of a-prototypical behavior countering much stronger direct and corroborating evidence to the contrary?

    3. Yes I am the same anonymous... And why should i buy a book of an narcism? I can read enough here from here for free. And if you are not a stupid person you can get every diagnosis you want.
      And it makes sence that people say she is not diagnosed, because in more than one article of this blog she writes that she is not and dont have the intention to get one. At the TV show she does not answer the question of her diagnosis strait. That was funny to watch.
      And why are you getting angry and personal? Why do you want to make me sad by telling me I have a "flat character". I never wrote flat. I wrote empty. And thats what they are empty.
      But the most funny thing about you is that you think I´m not a sociopath.

    4. Neither angry nor personal, just a statement and observation. Also, you should read the book, as you are operating with incomplete data - past data vs current data. The diagnosis exists, verbatim, in a letter from a named professional. As for flat character, it was obvious I was referring to her, not you. As for the question, it is an idiosyncratic irony that does not make sense, one which I also encountered (though sans posted letter, only implied, due to exposure of identifiers if released). I also did not suppose that you were or were not a sociopath, implied or otherwise, since the topic and critique was - again - about her, not you.

      As you may have surmised, the question is directed to her.

  6. There is a great line in the movie "Black Widow" delivered by Debra Winger to her FBI boss before she goes off in search of a possible female serial killer: "Who knows why anyone does anything?" Let us be skeptics and give the blog owner the benefit of the doubt, instead of projecting assumptions upon her. I am not her and I do not have her life. I just visit her blog once a day to see what she has tendered for discussion. It pleases me to think about what she has written. It is often thought provoking and insightful. I am not a sociopath, although I have known a few and survived. It may be, from looking through the archives, that the better discussions are behind her. I hope not. The conversations surrounding religion have been especially interesting and I had hoped to hear more of them. There is something bugging me. If you cannot hear that "still, small voice" ... How would you be aware of the presence of God?

  7. If a psychopath organized an election, he most likely would create a parliament which had a goverment which did not answer to the parliament or even had to listen to it or accept its "decisions". Just like the EU elections held in Scandinavia at the moment. The psycho would probably print large poster with the text "VOTE VOTE, DON´T FORGET TO VOTE NOW"? Just like in the scandinavian EU-elections. Most european empaths seem to like this style of democracy: if they are allowed to vote, they are not ruled by brutal, cunning & unseen masters.

  8. How do you get by in life in without understanding whats going on around you emotionally?

    1. There is a difference between understanding something, and experiencing it in a reduced capacity. First off, the misconception is that sociopaths do not experience emotions. They do, just with significantly less potency and persistence. Second, even if during occasions where there is no internal reaction (either absence of an emotional response, or below the threshold), that does not mean that observations and inferences can't be made.

      For example, if I see a dog get ran over by a car and don't feel saddened by it, I can infer based on the situation what people would typically feel at that moment (sadness) as well as observe people around me (the crowd crying). The former utilizes inductive reasoning, while the latter uses deductive reasoning.

      The other thing to note is something based on facial feedback. Continuing the example above, if I mimic the responses and consciously replay the event trying to be empathetic ("being in their shoes"), sometimes this creates an actual emotional response. It is sort of a reversal of cause and effect, where the effect of displaying emotions causes the creation of emotions. This is an idiosyncrasy that exists in humans in general, commonly referred to as Facial Feedback Theory. It doesn't always work, but that being said it does work sometimes.

    2. Those are stupid examples. Youre purposefully ignoring the complexity of human relations and their inherent emotions.

    3. Actually, I'm operationalizing them based on observable, external reactions. Not internal. Actors fake them all the time, as a matter of occupation. You overestimate their intrinsic, undefinable value. Because if it was like that, you couldn't be fooled by any acting on TV or the movies into forgetting it is all manufactured while you watch.

      To use the phrase, if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, people will naturally assume it is a duck.

  9. To get us in the mood....
    Anyone in the mood yet...

  10. Well said Bob. Good reading thread today.

  11. If you go on a hiatus, have you considered guest bloggers?

    1. Alternately- asking someone to be a temporary administrator?
      I am hoping you wouldn't take the blog down entirely... it is so helpful to use the search tool...

      If you do simply want to end SW I wonder if you'd be open to redirecting the SW community to a different blog that is already in existence/new blog created for the express purpose of continuing the SW community.

    2. Daily posts, most of which are new, are time-consuming and require constant new material. Besides, sociopaths take holidays too (in fact, I can't see a sociopath not take them unless "the sacrifice" plays to someone, like a boss, as a form of workplace currency). Whether that involves a vacation, or just "not working" is a matter of debate. Either way, it prevents things from becoming banal.

  12. How can someone/empath have the upper hand or advantage over a sociopath? Can they outplayed a sociopath?

    Have you ever been outplayed by anyone? How so?

    1. Ok-- I am an empath and not ME so I realize that you are actually seeking her answer.

      I'm only jumping in because I have often wondered the same thing because most sociopaths really are sooooo much more interesting than your average empathic joe. So I am adding to your question with my speculation which I'd love to have deconstructed (by sociopaths) and spit back out to get rid of the flaws in it.

      A smart empath can avoid most of the land mines of a less smart sociopath. but if intelligence is equivalent, the socio will always weaponize the empath's sincerity against itself.

      The only way an empath can keep the upper hand is to remain emotionally detached. That sounds hard, but actually most people are emotionally detached with all but a few intimates. As long as the words "soul mate" are not uttered with any kind of seriousness, the empath retains a fighting chance (maybe even more -because they have better intuition even if they have a less Machiavellian understanding of human nature)

      The way the empath wins is to somehow create ongoing dependency in the sociopath that they alone can fulfill. Then the sociopath has to stay nice. But if the empath does this then the sociopath becomes like a beloved pet. I suppose that's nice if you are seeking emotional equilibrium, but (speaking as an empath) let's be honest- who really wants to have sex with a pet?

      So sad- because to have a stable socio/empath relationship the empath must keep the upper hand - and if by some magic gets it, the sociopath becomes a pet and nobody likes that. It's boring to the empath and insulting to the sociopath.

      I am reminded of "Nature's first green is gold... the hardest hue to hold. As dawn goes down to day, nothing gold can stay."

    2. Mach, I appreciate your wisdom. I'm soaking it like a sponge. Thank you.

    3. To add to Mach, you must think in their shoes (hence the emotional detachment). Everything done is done for a reason, either rationally or irrationally (impulses and risk-numbness can play a major part in that). If you are close to them, there is a greater chance the sociopathy is worn closer to their sleeve (due to comfort/less risk), in which case much of what is said and done should be taken more literally. Also, everything said and done is not a manipulation - manipulation is a tool (utility). Not everything is a lie - if something wanted can be obtained with honesty and truth, it is. It is a case of Occam's Razor much of the time, so if honesty can get you something in 2 steps vs a manipulation in 5 steps, then honesty will be used. The exceptions depend on how much attention is placed on external perceptions at the time - whether it makes sense in maintaining a present perception from others, or building a new perception. Sometimes, the added investment of effort needed grants a secondary benefit elsewhere. Impressions are important investments on top of whatever object is immediately wanted.

      Finally, most of the time manipulations are not personal. They're mechanisms used to obtain an objective. And in a way, people can be objectified. Like a vending machine, you need to press the right buttons in the right order to have the specific thing you want, out of many things available, dispensed out of it.

    4. "the socio will always weaponize the empath's sincerity against itself.

      The only way an empath can keep the upper hand is to remain emotionally detached."

      I can't underscore this enough. I have recently come to terms with my mother's sociopathic tendencies. I recognize her more and more in this blog and the comments, in fact this blog and some excerpts of the book were instrumental in me finally identifying her psychosis...I have identified her in the past as a borderline or narcissist but she is really not emotional enough to qualify as either and her emotional displays are almost always fake and to some manipulative end, never really out of sincere feeling experience. Coming to terms with this thanks to this blog has completely changed my approach to dealing with her. She has had quite a bit of fun tormenting me over the years and since I am middle aged it went on far too long. I do believe she is almost completely conscienceless even though she appears to dote on her grandchildren. It is not her fault as she was the only child of a serial pedophile and her mother died in her childhood. I believe her sensory capabilities were burned out much in the same way once experiences permanent nerve damage from 3rd degree burns. Whatever empathy I have for her experience in childhood is no excuse to allow her to torment me in adulthood so I try now thanks to this new awareness to to remain as unemotional as possible. I was actualy coming perilously close to being 'onto her' before I found the book and the blog. I put the brakes on that immediately once the realization hit me that she is indeed largely sociopathic and that the last thing I ever wanted was for her to know that I know she's a sociopath. Since I stopped relating to her from an emotional perspective and stopped trying to get her to 'understand' my emotions because she's incapable, our relationship has been a lot more peaceful.

    5. Sociopaths can't afford to be totally paranoid, so naturally they will trust certain people. Trust, once earned, is like any other currency. It's meant to be spent.

      Lying can be difficult for most people, but withholding information is not. Work against someone, but do it covertly rather than directly. A sociopath may attack your psyche, but you can attack his status and reputation.

      These things aren't difficult, or even complex. Most people simply don't see them as options. It does require coldheartedness, and it may give you a sick feeling in your stomach.

      As for relationships, just don't do it. You'll never trust him. Or at least, you shouldn't. If he's so interesting, talk to him, make a friend of him. Is it so difficult to suppress attraction towards someone?

    6. A warning though if you decide to attack a sociopath's status or reputation. Retaliation could be severe, so consider carefully and be prepared if you do so. While you may have reservations on some things, they won't.

    7. I have wondered about this "sociopath's status or reputation", it appears to be rather important to them but ONLY when it comes to maintaining such reputation/status before certain individuals (mostly to those whom they have some sort of gain). So, what does it mean when that particular person/s is a family member? Such as a mother or father, or any within the "permanent possessions" circle?

      Could these inherent sentiments they feel for those "permanent possessions/individuals" in their lives, resemble to what empaths referred to as "true" love for an intimate partner, perhaps?

    8. Why would their reputation or status mattered to a sociopath? if they are unaffected by most things?

    9. Because it is leverage and camoflage. Leverage in that, as social currency, you can spend it to obtain/do things through people. It provides a degree of trust, where people will be more compliant to what you want based on having a good reputation (or bad, if you want to intimidate for something). It is also camoflage, as it provides doubt based on past and present actions as to ulterior motives. People are less likely to think that you are doing something for another reason because you have provided evidence out of past actions that are reputable. Because at its core, reputation and status provide trust. People will go quite far for you if they trust you. This includes people who don't even know you - a ripple effect - based on your reputation and status assessed by others. This is because people talk, and pass on views of other people quite freely. This social phenomenon can be used to an advantage to gain more trust and less suspicion, before they even meet you. The "return on investment" is quite high.

    10. Think of it like this, whenever I get a new job or a new circle of friends I act like a Saint for all outward appearances for however long it takes to cement that reputation.

      Then after my rep is set I can lie cheat and steal and if anyone has any suspicion they talk themselves out of it because they know what an honest & upstanding man I am.

      In short Reputation is a very potent weapon, I've used it to get a boss demoted, to shield unethical activity and to get personal rewards.

  13. M.E.:

    In reading about sociopathy, it seems like the scientific community does not consider sociopaths being "crazy" because they're rational, and often smart. However, in my experience with somebody, his behavior is definitely "crazy" even though he's rational and sometimes plans in advance, e.g. He's burst out and slammed somebody, has trust issues, controlling, etc. I was wondering what your thoughts are on this point of view, since that looks "crazy" to me, as in mentally abnormal.

    1. I am not M.E. but I can tell you that psychological disturbances is a wide subject. Sociopathy goes in under Antisocial Personality Disorder, that also is a psychological diagnosis. Note that there are several variations of personality disorders other then this one also, and irrationality does not have to play a role. It is a mental abnormality in the sense that the disorder deviates the person having it significantly from the general public. Our personalities are all different and various, but in the sense of personality disorders the variation is significantly scewed in a certain direction. This will affect significantly how the person views, interacts and handles the world around him. In most cases this is so severe that the individual will have problems working with the rest of society due to his disorder. That is also true for many sociopaths in the case they loose theyr jobs, ccant hold on relationships or have meaningful relationship, or just end up in prisons.

      You might also want to take a look at this to explore the topic mental illness from the critics point of view:

    2. Psychopath and Psychotic are two very separate things in psychology, unlike what is commonly used. The word "Psycho" is attached to the word Psychotic (not Psychopath). "Crazy" is attached to Psychotic/Psycho and Schizophrenic.

      That isn't to say a psychopath can't become psychotic, but it is rare.

    3. I would like to add some information to this discussion just to keep the facts straight. In psycgology there are two distinctions of psychological illnesses. These are psychosis and nevrosis. The latter is a psychological illness that does not include loss of perception of what reality is. Such an illness could for instance be depression with suicidal feelings. Psychosis is when a person is not able to see the difference between fantasy and reality. To him, his thoughts are all real even if they make no sense rationally. Any human being can potentially become psychotic, and a personality disorder of any kind such as a antisocial disorder/sociopathy/psychopathy does not protect the person from that. So it is perfectly possible to have a psychotic psychopath, or a psychotic paranoid, or a psychotic narcissist.

      Being "crazy" is a classical term that is not used in psychology as professional term. The general publics definition of plain old crazy, is an extent of psychological disturbance that is shocking and very perceivable. Many psychological illmesses are not that way, and the term "crazy" also indicates a very little understanding of what a psychological illness is.

    4. Thank you everybody for your responses and M.E. in the other post, following up on SomeOne's post, I also wonder if a sociopath is (at least sometimes) not in touch with reality when emotions are involved, since others' reality is shared via sharing the emotions at key points, sometimes a sociopath seems to be out touch with reality but not in a psychotic way. For example, why does he interprets my words and moves as part of a game when they mean something else for others' realities? Interesting...

  14. On attachment: Do you think that controlling somebody or a target's emotions is a way of connecting with them? Do you think it makes up for the lack of emotional attachment or loneliness in some way? Some of your readers mention seeing their significant others as an extension of themselves, how is this feeling?

  15. At the core, why do you enjoy hurting some people, aka prey? Is it an existential revenge or a "painful truce with those you cannot live with or without"?

    1. Why does a cat like to bat a mouse around before it eats it?

      Cause its fucken fun.

    2. Yeah, but why is it fun? what about it is enjoyable? describe in details please :)

    3. If it's such fucken fun, why are you so fucken miserable?

    4. 'Cause it's not fun for a prey!!! :/

  16. Several months ago, I met this guy at work, from the beginning I had a feeling about him, and over time realized I couldn't remember his face, worried about my memory I checked with my doctor and was told I'm fine, then I began noticing his expressions were over done and fake, no feeling, then his other symptoms appeared, antisocial. Now I wonder if my mind knew subconsciously that he is a sociopath before I realized it...? Nobody around me notices, so is this a uberempath ability or if people paid attention they could see it and feel it too?

    1. You probably spotted flaws in acts. Delays, imperfections, and improper reactions to things can give it away. It happens. It is also possible either separately or in combination with the above that you detected something at an instinctual level, possibly as a form of protection against predation.

  17. As I suspected, M.E. is beginning her great departure.
    She is to be credited for lasting as long as she has.
    6 years. I guess she learned she couldn't change the world.
    I think the people could have been nicer and more
    appreciative. I agree with the addage: "If you don't have
    anything nice to say, DON'T say anything at all. But I DO wonder
    if M.E, ever had a genunine cry in her life?

  18. It does seem like it's time for M.E. to take a hiatus for the Summer (maybe permanently?) She's kept this going a long time and it's kind of reaching it's natural conclusion. My question for M.E. What's next for you? Honestly. What do you see for your future?(next few years?) (sorry if someone already asked this, I haven't read any of the posts. In fact, I haven't visited the site in a couple weeks. Guess it's been winding down for me too.) I've learned a lot here, thanks M.E. for taking the time every day to give us something to think about.



    Hello everybody am short of words because i never believed that my wife that is gone for 3years could come back to me within 48hours,My name is Robert Buyback,i live in Maryland/USA,and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce.she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she didn't love me anymore.So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again.So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife.So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.{}So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who didn't call me for the past seven {3}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster.So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit this great man called Dr.Brave,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to the for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again. {} Thanks...

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