Thursday, March 17, 2011

Guest post: Defense Mechanisms - Tools of the Trade


Defense mechanisms are mental behaviors all of us employ to protect or defend ourselves from some "threat." More specifically, ego defense mechanisms are mental behaviors we use to "defend" our self-images. Aggressive personalities use a variety of mental behaviors and interpersonal maneuvers to help ensure they get what they want.

Denial – This is when the aggressor refuses to admit that they've done something harmful or hurtful when they clearly have. This "Who... Me?" tactic is a way of "playing innocent."

Selective Inattention – When engaging in this tactic, the aggressor actively ignores the warnings, pleas or wishes of others, and in general, refuses to pay attention to everything and anything that might distract them from pursuing their own agenda.

Rationalization or Minimization - A rationalization is the excuse an aggressor tries to offer for engaging in an inappropriate or harmful behavior. It can be an effective tactic, especially when the explanation or justification the aggressor offers makes just enough sense that any reasonably conscientious person is likely to fall for it. It's the aggressor's attempt to make a molehill out of a mountain.

Diversion or Lying – A moving target is hard to hit. Manipulators use distraction and diversion techniques to keep the focus off their behavior, move us off-track, and keep themselves free to promote their self-serving hidden agendas.

Shaming – This is the technique of using subtle sarcasm and put-downs as a means of increasing fear and self-doubt in others. It's an effective way to foster a continued sense of personal inadequacy in the weaker party, thereby allowing an aggressor to maintain a position of dominance.

Playing the Victim Role – This tactic involves portraying oneself as an innocent victim of circumstances or someone else's behavior in order to gain sympathy, evoke compassion and thereby get something from another.

Playing the Noble Role – This tactic is used to cloak their self-serving agendas in the guise of service to a more noble cause.

Seduction – Using charming, praising, flattering words or overtly supporting others in order to get them to lower their defenses and surrender their trust and loyalty. C

Projecting the blame (blaming others) – Aggressive personalities are always looking for a way to shift the blame for their aggressive behavior. Aggressors are not only skilled at finding scapegoats, they're expert at doing so in subtle, hard to
detect ways.
Which are your favorite covert or defensive tactics?


317 comments:

  1. I hate the manipulation game.

    It makes me feel bad, and drains me.

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  2. If I told you, it wouldn't be nearly so effective now would it.

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  3. but i definitely don't use seduction. i just walk around in bad neighbourhoods until i get raped so then i have an excuse to go cut myself. i also had a threesom with my dad and a dog.

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  4. The most manipulative personality you will ever find is an over protective mother, they are the real wolves in sheep clothing.

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  5. Adam, don't even get me started on those sorts of parents. I have two.

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  6. Don't stay out too late notme.

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  7. Bad blood.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiKnfsoMsdc

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  8. "Which are your favorite covert defensive tactics?"

    Honestly I don't think I have a favorite. They all serve their purpose depending on the situation and the people I'm interacting with.

    I know: Disappointing answer, but it's the best I can and will come up with.

    Maybe it would be more effective to ask what favorite tactics we have observed in others.


    I have noticed a tactic used by some people with ASPD that I don't see so often with the other groups. It's a very simple tactic and consists mainly of back-reflecting the arguments of their opponent.

    If I out such a person for let's say not being invulnerable and for having self esteem issues, they'll start telling me that I'm not [insert whichever], something they think they see in me that I want to be and want to portray.

    Whereas it is an easy win if you spot the tactic right away, it can often be pointless to even attempt an argument or debate, for they'll just keep repeating themselves, even if to others it is obvious that they're wrong, about themselves and about you.

    A theoretical example:

    If I wanted to establish myself as an obvious sociopath and one others would do well in not try to cross, here on your blog board, I could pick someone among the regular posters, let's say f.x. Notable (someone did this, and the usual flock of followers picked up on it).

    I might say: "Notable, you're Not Able!"

    If Notable was the type of person I've referred to, they would reply to me:

    "Zhawq, you're not a sociopath!"

    ...thinking that being a sociopath is what I want, because there're many sociopath wannabe posters, and this type of ASPD'er can't read others very well.

    If I didn't know what I know, I might attempt a:

    "Not Able, I don't care if I'm a sociopath. But you are still Not Able!"

    which would only lead to Notable saying:

    "Yes I am, and I have proven it everywhere else than here, that's my proof! You're just envious because you're a wannnabe sociopath! You're not a sociopath!"

    At this oint I might tire of the idiocy and not respond, but the other person would keep posting whenever I posted (no matter the topic or who I'm addressing):

    "Don't listen to Zhawq, he's not a sociopath, he just wants to be a sociopath!"

    On and on.

    Not very effective in terms of winning an argument or manipulating anybody, but nevertheless it is widely used, especially among kids with conduct issues.

    I have had an exchange on an Internet forum with someone who responded like I have described, but it was a grown person allegedly with an above average IQ of 126.

    Go figure!...

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  9. On that note ... I sometimes feel as if I'm talking to such a person here. But that's because there're so many who drops by, thinking they know what a psychopath (or a sociopath... yadda yadda) is and think we all just want to be psychopaths/sociopaths. And they'll often make posts, mention some of us and say why for whichever reason we can't possibly be sociopaths.

    They're missing the point, obviously. But at times these kinds of posts and discussions are more or less all we have. Sad, really, but it can't be helped when you want to reach a broad audience - which you do, and should do! ;)

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  10. Zhawq. Without lying, what are some of the abusive things you do to others on a daily basis?

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  11. Zhawq (sorry I call you Zwang sometimes, I just sometimes can't be bothered to scroll back up to check the spelling) I just want to say that I find your comments to be adorable for some reason.

    I don't mean that in any demeaning or patronizing way. But, less is more, especially in this age of ADD.

    It's a very simple tactic and consists mainly of back-reflecting the arguments of their opponent.

    This pretty much says it all. I notice this as well. Maybe in a different sense than you mean, but I do see this.

    Sometimes my 'opponent' or whatever will actually copy a phrase I said, VERBATIM, and use it themselves three minutes later as an attack, like some kind of semantic boomerang, and as if they just came up with it themselves. One person in particular does this without fail. It's bizarre as all get-out.

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  12. Adam said...

    Zhawq. Without lying, what are some of the abusive things you do to others on a daily basis?

    How exactly are you going to tell if he is lying or not? My bullshit-o-meter is going off. YOU SIR ARE LYING! Why is this the defacto prove you are a socio line? It is like you must have 23 abuse points to be a socio. If you think about the things you do as abuses then you have already said that what you did was bad and wrong. You just admitted guilt.

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  13. Just because you admit to being an abuser does not mean you care, it's not self denial or dissociating from the abuse, psychopaths gleefully abuse, we taunt our victims for begging for mercy, being needy and asking us to stop our vicious cycle, it makes us hysterical.

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  14. Put it like this, anyone who claims to be a psychopath or narcissist should give insight to some of their actions, if you are a psychopath/narc you will have a history of misconducts, violence, abusiveness and battety etc otherwise your word holds no value.

    The only ones who tell you all about our misdeeds is myself Misanthrope and UKan. Everyone is anonymous here so there is no excuses.

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  15. And Kesu, shut your trap you loser.

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  16. You are without a doubt the biggest wannabe ever. You so strike me as some angsty goth teenage wannabe badass. Someone who feels so subdued in his life that you idolize sociopaths. You are one of those people who watches dexter and goes yeah that is what it is like. I so relate to it. There are no other words for it than retarded. Daily abuses.... WTF man if I were to go around abusing the people around me on a daily basis no one would want to be around me. Here is a question for you. Why would I want to do that anyways? I mean if it is entertaining then I'd do it. I get bored of shit after 15 minutes. 90% of my day is me trying not to be bored out of my mind. Leads me to do some stupid shit. I guess some of it could be cruel. I don't care though. What you are looking for is a sadist. Someone who can only derive their pleasure from someone's pain. I can get entertainment from lots of things. Like this is a great distraction. I can do it in small bursts and I can do other things while doing it. The people are decently intelligent and they like to be snide and sarcastic. There is a mix of intelligent discussion and normal internet retardation. There is nothing cruel or abusive about this. It is all just to stave off boredom.

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  17. You claim I'm the one trying to hard while combining the word "boredom" in every sentance, so people will think you are a sociopath, you are a joke, look at your name, you are nearly as bad as HavenNic. You get all touchy when the real facts come out, you live in a fantasy world bud, what have you done? Who have you destroyed? Exactly, you have no history.

    Show everyone what you look like so we can laugh at you, you fool.

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  18. Hey buddy why don't read some of the comments above. Then you can see what I did there. Funny shit. Thanks Zhawq for the diversion. Try harder Adam.

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  19. WOWWW BRO you are such a fucking cool calculated mother fucker. You got me there, you fucking played the seduction game on me, with one of your masks.

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  20. Adam I gotta say. You are extremely amusing. Keep it up. BTW I seduced you? O really now. I didn't know you swung that way. Well I was going to tell not to be so butt hurt but suddenly your butt hurt seems valid. You make me smile sir.

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  21. When i own a skyscraper I'm going to employ you as a security guard.

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  22. Damn, that was funny. Oh and Kesu, you OBVIOUSLY have to do some daily abusing. It's like scouts, you have to earn badges and sew them onto your sociopath world t-shirt.

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  23. What are we talking about when we say abuses?

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  24. It's hysterical how hard some people here try to come off as the biggest sociopath/abuser.

    It shows how flawed their reward systems are. How wonderful it is to have a bunch of random people people "oooooh" and "wow" at your exploits.

    There are only a few people on here who are are completely impartial, showing neutral attitudes toward this blog.

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  25. Jason. Being humble isn't attractive, you wouldn't know that though.

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  26. "It's hysterical how hard some people here try to come off as the biggest sociopath/abuser."

    It's a shitload more interesting than your freaky sex fantasies.

    Haha. At least you're trying harder Kesu. When you first came on you were acting like a robot. You said that you were an "an empty shell" and completely unemotional. Then you suddenly changed your mind about being a sociopath when put under a bit of pressure, and now your back with a whole knew approach. Are you at all bothered by how easily manipulated you are by others?

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  27. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  28. tn. Put one of these at the end of every single comment you make: ~

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  29. @Misanthrope Nope not at all. Everything still applies. Whatever I am at any given moment is pretty fine with me. I'll come and go as I please. If you say I'm being manipulated into being some way then O well. I still am the empty shell. Just because I'm giving you a different side of me doesn't mean I've changed.

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  30. Kasu. Why don't you and tn stop being overly sensitive when abuse is mentioned, abuse and psychopathy go hand in hand. If you think a psychopath can go through his life without causing chaos then you are sadly mistaken.

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  31. @Adam

    It's not really being humble then it is being myself.

    I never try to exaggerate myself and my abilities in an attempt to impress people with how 'badass' I am. I am not 'badass', I am a pathetic human being like everyone else, coming here to pass time and to learn more about what I don't know about.

    I don't feel a need to exercise restraint when I post here. I will meet none of these people in real life, and none of them really care about me.I post whatever roles into my head. If I am sad, I post it, If I am happy, I post it, If I feel like expressing my sexual fantasies, I post it. I just keep it real.

    So what's the point of trying give myself more self-worth then I really have?

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  32. I'll take that as a no then Kesu. Fuck it though.

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  33. Oh Adam darling! Oversensitive? No, not at all, I was merely making a joke about how ridiculous you sounded.

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  34. Adam give me an example of what a daily kind of abuse is. When I think of abuse I think of the extremes. Like the mother who kicks the shit out of her children. I'm not going around kicking the crap out of the people around me everyday.

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  35. "It's not really being humble then it is being myself.

    I never try to exaggerate myself and my abilities in an attempt to impress people with how 'badass' I am. I am not 'badass', I am a pathetic human being like everyone else, coming here to pass time and to learn more about what I don't know about.

    I don't feel a need to exercise restraint when I post here. I will meet none of these people in real life, and none of them really care about me.I post whatever roles into my head. If I am sad, I post it, If I am happy, I post it, If I feel like expressing my sexual fantasies, I post it. I just keep it real.

    So what's the point of trying give myself more self-worth then I really have?"


    That is because you are sentimental, If i can tell a lie, make up a story or exaggerate so that people will have a higher regard for me then great! I'm all for it. I can't stand when I'm seen as common so sometimes i need to exaggerate, if not always.

    You have little to no self worth as you state above. If i were to leave this blog I would think that I'd be severely missed and the topic of conversation for days afterwards, it comes with having a high regard for yourself, which you obviously lack.

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  36. i don't know why but Adam, I find hilarious. He reminds me a bit of that GRK guy for some reason.

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  37. "Adam give me an example of what a daily kind of abuse is. When I think of abuse I think of the extremes. Like the mother who kicks the shit out of her children. I'm not going around kicking the crap out of the people around me everyday."


    Didn't i ask you first? So go ahead.

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  38. There shouldn't be that much uproar considering manipulation is basically todays topic of conversation.

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  39. What happened to UKan?

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  40. I know, I guess it comes with being an empath.

    I can't stand lieing to people in order to further my agendas. I can't stand trying to entertain people with things that aren't true about myself. I can't stand trying to change myself in order to bait the people I lied to.

    It would be a miserable life. How could I live life as a board game. I would never be satisfied, I would just be plotting my next 'checkmate', watching people break down, watching people hate me, gathering masses of people who like me for my lies.

    I would just like to live a life with people who like me for me, a life where I don't have to manipulate things for no reason.

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  41. Adam who the fuck is Kasu?

    @Jason errrrr wha? That sounds like a lot of self pity and self loathing. I actually agree with Adam. Kinda giving me the creeps though.

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  42. Ditto, Notme. Ever since that time he spat in his aunts soup.

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  43. @Jason. What kind of feelings do you get back when you tell a lie? Why can't you justify the lie?

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  44. @kesu

    lol i was responding to Adam.

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  45. yeah, that's possibly what did it for me too.

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  46. Jason sounds suicidal.

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  47. what happened UKan notme

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  48. If he is going to off himself he should video tape it and upload it somehow so that we can all enjoy.

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  49. Ukan stop asking about yourself.

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  50. Anon, Ukan had some badass 'business' to attend to. God only knows...

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  51. The reason why I cannot lie and justify it is because I am doing a few things:

    1. I am lying to myself. What worse thing is there to do then lie to yourself.

    2.I have to keep up the lie. Whenever I see the person I decieve, I have to constantly maintain the crap I fed them. They will ask questions and I will make up more crap.

    3.If I get caught all the effort I put into the facade is gone. I guess that's why its called 'superficial charm'. I would lie to them, get what I want, and then when I am found out,I move on to my next target.

    4.I personally, find it hard to get off to genuinely misleading people.

    What are your reasons adam? How do you find it so easy to lie? How do you find fun in getting people to bend over for you,and then laugh at them after?

    Don't you want a real relationship?

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  52. Medusa:

    "Zhawq (sorry I call you Zwang sometimes, I just sometimes can't be bothered to scroll back up to check the spelling)"

    I know, hon, 'tis alright. No worries.


    "I just want to say that I find your comments to be adorable for some reason."

    Thanks, Medusa, much appreciated. I often like your posts too.


    "I don't mean that in any demeaning or patronizing way. But, less is more, especially in this age of ADD."

    I know. ;)


    "..VERBATIM, and use it themselves three minutes later as an attack, like some kind of semantic boomerang, and as if they just came up with it themselves."

    Yep. It's not uncommon, and I've seen it here too.


    Adam:

    "Just because you admit to being an abuser does not mean you care, it's not self denial or dissociating from the abuse"

    This reminds me of the posters who keep listing all sorts of activities or ways of thinking that to them somehow 'proves' someone can't possibly be a psychopath.


    "Put it like this, anyone who claims to be a psychopath or narcissist should give insight to some of their actions, if you are a psychopath/narc you will have a history of misconducts, violence, abusiveness and battety etc"

    Quite true. But why would you list these things in a debate on a blog board? Even if you want to prove you're a psychopath it would prove nothing since you could be lying - unless you're willing to leave name, rank and serial number.


    "The only ones who tell you all about our misdeeds is myself Misanthrope and UKan."

    No.


    "Everyone is anonymous here so there is no excuses."

    And we need excuses for what?

    Okay, I'll give a few words on this line:

    To tell what you do, or what you have done, if it pertains to the kind of actions/activities that normal people find really "horrible" or "repulsive" etc., is simply stupid and another way of asking to be shunned, dis-believed, or - if it's illegal - caught.

    Why close yourself off by such a display when you can gain so much more if you flexibly use a variety of tactics and do what psychopaths are known to do so well: Keep most of the facts - especially the ones that matters, the ones that tell others who and what you are - to yourself!?

    That seemingly boldness of yours merely prove you quite silly, buddy.

    Also, thinking you can be actually anonymous on a public board means you're either horribly ill informed, or you're simply not very bright.

    For these same reasons have Misanthrope and UKan not told us anything that anybody can prove on any concrete level about themselves.

    - And for the same reason did I myself several months back tell everybody here straight out that I have killed people....and I made sure to add that I've done due time for it too.


    Kesu:

    "Thanks Zhawq for the diversion."

    Haha, you're welcome pal. ;)

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  53. "What are your reasons adam? How do you find it so easy to lie? How do you find fun in getting people to bend over for you,and then laugh at them after?

    Don't you want a real relationship?"

    I can't really answer that because I find it difficult to be YOU or anyone else. The closest I could come to explaining it would be that I don't get a reaction when I lie, I don't have a nagging voice to tell me I did wrong, the inner voice agrees with me and I can do no wrong.

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  54. Does your inner voice ever sing to you adam? Because mines going ANDDDDDDDD IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiieIIIIIIIII will always love me.
    BTW my word verification was fooked

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  55. I guess having "no inner voice" can help. The times when someone genuinely tries to hurt you, and you need to hurt them back.

    I sometimes wish I could shut off my conscious like a switch, but I can't. It seems you either have one 100% of the time, or you don't.

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  56. "For these same reasons have Misanthrope and UKan not told us anything that anybody can prove on any concrete level about themselves."

    Lol. Yeah you guys dont know the half it. In fact most people in the real world don't either. I'll keep giving you snippets but there are somethings that I really can't talk about.

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  57. Half of the stuff would all be exaggerated anyway.

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  58. 'I guess having "no inner voice" can help. The times when someone genuinely tries to hurt you, and you need to hurt them back.

    I sometimes wish I could shut off my conscious like a switch, but I can't. It seems you either have one 100% of the time, or you don't'

    @Jason,

    Even with a strong conscience, if you have strong pride and a strong self-preserving instinct, you can override the conscience. It doesn't make you a bad person either. It's natural.

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  59. Jason:

    "There are only a few people on here who are are completely impartial, showing neutral attitudes toward this blog."

    Lol, most of the posters don't even talk about the blog. They do seem to have a lot of attitude about psychopathy though, and I in that regard you've got a very good point indeed. :)


    Misanthrope:

    "Are you at all bothered by how easily manipulated you are by others?"

    We see this a lot and with a lot of people. (but you know that.)


    Jason:

    "I can't stand lieing to people in order to further my agendas. I can't stand trying to entertain people with things that aren't true about myself. I can't stand trying to change myself in order to bait the people I lied to."

    Is this really true? C'mon, you're kidding us, yes?


    "It would be a miserable life."

    I assure you it is not. But perhaps it depends on who you are. No doubt many (most) people really would not really... thrive... with such a life style. But it is also beyond doubt that some do, or it would not be that way.


    "I will meet none of these people in real life"

    Aaaahh, you NEVER know...! ;)

    You're right though. It's silly to put yourself under restraint when it comes to speaking your mind here.


    "How could I live life as a board game."

    A board game? That's not how it is at all, Jason! You may take moves and use strategies as you would in a board game, but that's how it is with everything you do in life. That doesn't make life like a board game. I think you have an unrealistic idea of how it is to not be like most people are when it comes to manipulation or whatever it is you have in mind here....using others, being rough with someone, etc..


    "I would never be satisfied, I would just be plotting my next 'checkmate', watching people break down, watching people hate me, gathering masses of people who like me for my lies."

    This is how I see most normal people doing things: Liking each other and making each other like you for your lies. The difference (as I see it) is that normal people are not very aware that they're lying, they're living a game of self delusion:

    "I am good, I can feel what others feel, so I don't do bad things to others!"

    No you can't! You cannot feel other people's feelings, no one can! You can feel your own feelings and that's it. If you could feel other people's feelings they would be your feelings, not the other people's.

    But then, that's just how I see it, and there're lots of arguments people have made against my point of view. The fact remain, I can't feel your feelings, I never will, but that's okay, I like it just find the way it is.

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  60. @notme, you can't turn an empath into a sociopath. Sociopathy happens very early on in childhood if you beleive it to be nurtured. You shouldn't wish you had the disorder either, it's no walk in the park, life has no meaning to a sociopath.

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  61. "We see this a lot and with a lot of people. (but you know that.)"

    Yeah thats why I said fuck it. I see it all the time.

    "Half of the stuff would all be exaggerated anyway."

    No Jason. We don't all lead boring ordinary lives. But I actually laughed when I read that because if I did tell you the whole truth about some of the things that have happened to me and that I've done you probably wouldn't believe it anyway. I guess it is stranger than fiction sometimes. Enjoy the snippets though.

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  62. You shouldn't wish you had the disorder either, it's no walk in the park, life has no meaning to a sociopath.


    That was for Jason.

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  63. Jason,

    a few more for you:

    "The reason why I cannot lie and justify it is because I am doing a few things:

    1. I am lying to myself. What worse thing is there to do then lie to yourself."

    Most people lie to themselves, it doesn't stop them from lying to others too.


    "2.I have to keep up the lie. Whenever I see the person I decieve, I have to constantly maintain the crap I fed them. They will ask questions and I will make up more crap."

    You could also just move on. If he tries to stop you, hit him and make him understand he made a mistake and THEN move on.


    "3.If I get caught all the effort I put into the facade is gone."

    No it's notl. The effort you made will always be the effort you made. It's neither there nor not there, it's in the past.


    "I guess that's why its called 'superficial charm'. I would lie to them, get what I want, and then when I am found out,I move on to my next target."

    Now you're talking. But why you call it superficial I'm don't quite understand. It's as real as anything else you do.

    Stealing the soap because you want to smell good and love hot water is just as much stealing the soap as if you do it because you're dirty and need a bath.


    "4.I personally, find it hard to get off to genuinely misleading people."

    Yes, I understand that. And so you shouldn't waste your efforts on trying. You're doing nothing wrong, just be you.
    - That's what I try to do, that's what a lot of people try to do, whether or not they have a psychopathy diagnosis or a sociopathic world view, i.e., or not.



    "What are your reasons adam?"

    Okay, that one's not for me.


    "How do you find it so easy to lie?"

    How? I'm not sure if I can explain that in a few words right here. Fact remains, lying is very easy... at least for some people. I guess I'd qualify as one of them, but let's not get into that.


    "How do you find fun in getting people to bend over for you,and then laugh at them after?"

    You're asking about two things here. And again, you're asking 'How?'. It's not easy to answer. Why is easier. But since that wasn't your question, and since I'm not keen to get into that either, I'll leave it at that.

    Don't you want a real relationship?

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  64. Adam, i never said that. And i totally agree that for someone with a strong conscience to permanently lose that without some head injury, is not possible.
    I was explaining that it is possible to temporarily override the fear of hurting others if it's an issue of self-defence. That's all.
    And Zhawq, (Zwag lol), you're not right about the empathy thing. Some people literally absorb the energy of those around them (which translates into a painful or joyful feeling within themself). You will never know this, so you say, but it does not mean it does not exist. It's to do with having a potent imagination derived from being highly sensitive to physical stimuli.

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  65. Brutal honesty can work worse than lies sometimes, I told a frind of mine that I wouldn't care if he died with a smile on my face, I said it as if it was nothing. (I'm just being honest) I don't know why i have friends in the first place, I don't really give a damn about any of them, sometimes you grow tired of pretending like you care.

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  66. Jason:

    "I sometimes wish I could shut off my conscious like a switch, but I can't. It seems you either have one 100% of the time, or you don't."

    I think you're right about that.


    Misanthrope:

    "Lol. Yeah you guys dont know the half it. In fact most people in the real world don't either."

    That's what I've been trying to explain to people for months, but they insist on their movie images and refuse to accept reality.


    "I'll keep giving you snippets but there are somethings that I really can't talk about."

    Yep, sums it aaaall up right there! ;)


    "I did tell you the whole truth about some of the things that have happened to me and that I've done you probably wouldn't believe it anyway. I guess it is stranger than fiction sometimes."

    Yep.


    "Enjoy the snippets though."

    Good advice. *s*

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  67. I lie a lot on impulse. There is no real thought that goes into. I just lie. Blam it is out there. As simple as that... I don't know why I do it at all. I've thought about it a lot. When I'm in the moment though I can't stop it from happening. Usually they are just exaggerations. At least the lies that are impulse.

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  68. Zhawq, have you ever tried channeling your urges like dexter does in that fictional show?

    If you wanted, you could channel your rage at people who society condemns, you would be praised.

    Just a thought

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  70. Life doesn't need meaning for me. I dont understand what motivates normal people to do the things they do like get married, have kids and all that and I don't understand why those sorts of yhings are so important to them. I could have all that but I don't know how much it would mean to me. It's funny because I've spontaneously proposed to 3 girls that I've hadn't even known for that long and 1 them said yes and another said they'd think about it. I was drunk with the one who said yes so when I woke up the next day I rang her and called the whole thing off. I think she was actually upset. With the other one I just dismissed it as a joke. It's all for show really. They get married and have kids so that they can live life the way they think it's supposed to be lived. I didn't have a reason for proposing to those girls. My life consists of me just doing things that excite me and that are good for me. I don't know what's going to happen in the future and I don't want to know. That would take thrill out of it.

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  72. Lol, now that was a funny read.

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  73. @Misanthrope So you never want to have children?

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  74. I'll see what happens. I got a girl pregnant once when I was 17 but I made her get rid of it. I wouldn't be surprised if I've made a few bastards since then though.

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  75. I probably haven't though. I wouldn't care either way.

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  76. I've gone through that 5 times. I know I'll want kids one day. Someone has to carry on my genetic legacy.

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  77. @Kesu

    I must say, habit change is really hard. I have been fighting to return to masturbation for a week now, and its no joke.

    If you ever become addicted to something, its endgame.

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  78. Wait you stopped masterbating?

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  79. Yes, I am going to go without that and porn for the remaining 24 days.

    Its hard as fuck.

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  80. Its call the concept of a 30 day test.

    Basically you try something for 30 days, if you like it, you continue, if you dont, you stop.

    The trick is that by 30 days you are conditioned. I want to condition myself to not feel the need to just act out sexually.

    If I stop for 30 days, it will make it easier to make permanent changes. After a few years, I assume sex will stop dominating me.

    I have been doing some breathing exercises that calm down my urges.

    If I can get past this, I can make many other changes in my life.

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  81. Jason you're a rapist arnt you? thats what you said before i think.

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  82. This is going to be a fail. I can feel it.

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  83. It goes against all your natural urges.

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  84. @anon

    No.

    As disbelieving as it might be, rape is too much for me.

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  85. Aren't you an empath? It'd be harder to believe that you could rape someone. Sense supposedly you'd feel how it had hurt them.
    Personally I don't care for rape. Being told no turns me off. I like women to submit to me.

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  86. The post Monday was by someone that had three women submitting to him and they served their pupose.

    Kesu, how many have you had at one time/

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  87. Yeah I am a 1v1 kinda guy. Too many balls in the air means you drop some.

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  88. beethoven, genius, socio, narcissistMarch 17, 2011 at 4:55 PM

    I am the person who made the observation that Beethoven was a sociopath and had to log off right after. I noticed despite lengthy arguments on a sociopath's capability for artistic genius there was not much discussion whether he had sociopathy or a npd.
    here are my views on that based on a documentary I watched.

    In his youth there was no mentioning of hearing loss. These are the years he knows he is gifted with music and he is a mozart and hayden fan.

    At the age of 13 he writes his first 3 sonatas and names them elector (after the elector who has the means to fund him). Now, you tell me who but a socio would think of doing this level of brown-nosing at 13? Plus, he's a total charmer, very good looking, and definitely after money. He gets involved with freemasonry around 14 years old.

    He charms Mozart, comes to Vienna as his pupil, starts having a great time with the ladies, no intention of marriage. Ladies cost money, people are paying for piano pieces, so he starts pumping those out and tells Mozart he is skipping class because he needs money because the elector is sending him only very little stipend. Mozart learns all of that is a lie when he contacts the elector, and upon realizing his lie the elector kicks him off.

    Then come the hearing loss, and start of npd. He can't go into social scenes worried that people will understand that he is deaf. Isolates himself, and puts his genius into work with the purpose of coming up with piano pieces that others can't play singly with his right hand. In the process he is able to put his rage into his music in a way it appeals to our senses.

    More to the story but in short I see a gifted, high IQ child developing first sociopathic then narcissistic disorders. All that lying and not trusting people t share the truth is pathological.

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  89. Has anyone had a recent contact with an extreme extrovert?

    They really piss me off. They come out of nowhere and start babbling about crap that makes little sense.

    It's like they are brainstorming right in front of me. The best part is when I nod my head, walk away, and they think they made a difference in my day.

    Seriously, I just walk away and start laughing.

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  90. Still a no. He was just a guy with a vice. Not all drug addicts are S most are just pricks. They all lie to hide their problem.

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  91. how do you know they think they made a difference in you day?

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  92. Everything I do is impressive. What one particular thing are you getting at Tik?

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  93. zhawq said:

    "What are your reasons adam?"

    Okay, that one's not for me.

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  94. For the Anon that apparently didn't bother to click on my name or hasn't been paying attention... I'm not psycho/socio, nor have I ever claimed to be. I'm BPD. It's painfully obvious most days.

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  95. dos bpd automatically mean an often crying, screaming, bitchy woman who is out of control and then comes back as if nothing happened and can act loving??

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  96. Dude I never realized that haven was a chick.

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  97. Bronchopulmonary dysplasia (BPD) is a chronic lung condition that affects newborn babies who were either put on a breathing machine after birth or were born very early (prematurely).

    seriously, what is bpd? a socio in touch w feminine self ?

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  98. No you stupid shit borderline personality disorder. Fucking retard.

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  99. Selective Inattention – I do this when the joke is funny, the question is stupid, etc. Not in an agenda fashion a socio would but, more to prevent further boredom from average Joe.

    Rationalization or Minimization - Dad does this, I may too

    Diversion or Lying – Not lying but diversion when the offer is stupid

    Shaming – Only against the bad guys, like Dexter

    Playing the Noble Role – Always serving a noble cause, so no idea when it is for any sort of disguise

    Seduction – What is wrong with treating people nice, till they prove to be jerks

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  100. Kesu can't differentiate, gotta be a socio.

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  101. well ain't that uncanny. I was premature, dunno about the breathing machine, so maybe i have all three bpds

    bpd - borderline personality (recently renamed EDD - Emotional dysregulation disorder)

    bpd - bipolar disorder

    bpd - that thing you mentioned.

    It can be confusing.

    lol Kesu. :D

    Some people think borderlines are sociopathic cos of the way they can act. But, they aren't actually. They are just emotional powerhouses.
    bleh. hope that clarified it a bit. Oh, and READ!!

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  102. @notme

    Unceptor might be trying to troll you.

    My sensors are ringing lol.

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  103. haha, yeah, thanks. I like to oblige either way.

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  104. BPD = Borderline Personality Disorder (my entire blog is dedicated to it).

    @uncepter ... Not always, but yeah, often. It's like the polar opposite emotional spectrum from the majority claim here. Instead of feeling too little, we feel too much. We don't play well with others. Everything or nothing. Share everything or we don't share at all.

    @Kesu ... ::laughs::

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  105. @notme ... geezus, can you imagine being bipolar and borderline? That's spelled F-U-C-K-E-D about 12 different ways.

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  106. Sociopaths are emotional too, but it isn't warm emotion, it's done with sort of a reptilian coldness. I would argue that a sociopaths (psychopaths) anger is the most powerful of all personalities. We feel envy and rage on a daily basis, but it's fleeting, if you do not jump on our bandwagon we will see you as an enemy and we will be indifferent to your demise. It is best off if you stay away from psychopaths in the first sense, you will come out of it scarred. The more you give us, the more we will gradually take from you, no boundaries.

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  107. here I found more:

    The World Health Organization's ICD-10 defines a conceptually similar disorder to borderline personality disorder called (F60.3) Emotionally unstable personality disorder.

    It has two subtypes described below.
    a) F60.30 Impulsive type
    At least three of the following must be present, one of which must be (2):
    1.marked tendency to act unexpectedly and without consideration of the consequences;
    2.marked tendency to quarrelsome behaviour and to conflicts with others, especially when impulsive acts are thwarted or criticized;
    3. liability to outbursts of anger or violence, with inability to control the resulting behavioural explosions;
    4. difficulty in maintaining any course of action that offers no immediate reward;
    5. unstable and capricious mood.

    It is a requirement of ICD-10 that a diagnosis of any specific personality disorder also satisfies a set of general personality disorder criteria.

    b)F60.31 Borderline type
    At least three of the symptoms mentioned in F60.30 Impulsive type must be present [see above], with at least two of the following in addition:

    1. disturbances in and uncertainty about self-image, aims, and internal preferences (including sexual);
    2. liability to become involved in intense and unstable relationships, often leading to emotional crisis;
    3. excessive efforts to avoid abandonment;
    4. recurrent threats or acts of self-harm;
    5. chronic feelings of emptiness.

    It is a requirement of ICD-10 that a diagnosis of any specific personality disorder also satisfies a set of general personality disorder criteria.

    Millon's subtypes
    Theodore Millon identified four subtypes of borderline. Any individual borderline may exhibit none, or one or more of the following:
    1. Discouraged borderline — including avoidant, depressive or dependent features
    2. Impulsive borderline — including histrionic or antisocial features
    3. Petulant borderline — including negativistic (passive-aggressive) features
    4. Self-destructive borderline — including depressive or masochistic features

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  108. some would say bpd is fucked 12 different ways.. easy to judge and be not them

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  109. havenNyx and notme, which numbers fit you?

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  110. @Adam ... I'll play my anger against yours. Wrath is my sin. My anger rages out of control and it doesn't dissipate.

    I didn't mean to say socios were void of emotion. I know better. BPDs experience of emotion is (i'm assuming) very different though. Mine either flip off and I feel nothing, or my emotions torment me for months. It's fucked.

    I need boundaries or none at all. One of my biggest problems is no middle ground. I thrive at the extremes with I'm told is a part of my problem.

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  112. 'dos bpd automatically mean an often crying, screaming, bitchy woman who is out of control and then comes back as if nothing happened and can act loving??'

    when i read that i was like, yeah, and? you gotta a problem with that??? hehe.

    Haven, i need to ask you this, do you find yourself apologising a lot to people after you've had an emotional, ahem, 'moment'?
    I've found that especially after becoming more aware since the diagnosis, i can now more actively try to make amends. But this time, I force myself to do it, rather than when before, I used to say 'sorry' only when the mood and desire dictated it.
    I'm talking of course about those people who are very close to me, (eg, family who i can't escape forever), who know about the BPD now and who are themselves, trying to be more understanding with me.

    So, do you find yourself apologising a lot? I don't enjoy it, but i do enjoy and benefit from the understanding that i receive from them when I admit to flying off the handle. The hardest thing for me to endure is their judgment, so i guess it's better this way.

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  113. @uncepter ... congrats, you can google. I've talked about all of this shit in depth.

    I fit all of the DSM IV criteria.

    and of Millon's I'm 1,2 and 4

    @aspie... It's easy to judge because I am them. I've lived most of my life this way. It's fucked.

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  114. Sociopaths can become mass murderers, you can't get much angrier than that.

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  115. is it really so fucked though? you are alive and expressing yourself..you have your moments of joy and aliveness right? and even if you didn't... there are far worse things

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  116. Id like to think that my boss is not a socio.

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  117. Oh man, BPD could be an awesome mask to play. What an idea.

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  118. Haven, actually, i AM a little bipolar too, (there are 5 types identified currently). i need to go get a pro's analysis on that one though. I experience very hyper phases for no apparent reason and have done since i was very young.
    I don't have the mania (psychosis) luckily. And i agree, bipolar and BPD - nightmare.

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  119. @notme... honestly. I don't feel remorse for my actions anymore. It actually falls well with the topic of this post... Apologizing a lot, for me, is something of a manipulation. An imposed modesty. It's a way to get people to feel bad for me, to sort of play the victim of my emotions (which admittedly I am), but I know if I don't, I'll lose the people around me and I don't want to do that. I do it to hold onto them, not because I actually feel sorry.

    I used to apologize a lot more, beg for forgiveness and dissolve until I had made ammends, but that was when I was younger and acted out more. My scenes are less public now and the only one I {generally} need to apologize to is myself. Everyone else, eh, I apologize {a lot} if it gets me what I need.

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  120. I don't get manic phases ever, i feel half asleep most of the time.

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  121. i'm bipolar too and it has its hells but there is much wonderfulness too... life is a gift

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  122. Yikes, did you pull that Beethoven bio out of your ass? A lot of it is incorrect.

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  123. Borderlines learn stuff at 30 that sociopaths knew at 12.

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  124. bpd is a great way to make a man fall in love with you and keep him around (gotta not worry about your internal shame-based suffering). I actually dated a man who used to ask me how come I don't act bpd symptoms (not with that terminology). he was quite a socio and was convinced that if I loved him I'd show extreme upset at his occasional nonsense. He'd test me and test me, moron.

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  125. I'm bipolar. I was diagnosed that in a mental hospital when I was 17. They also diagnosed me with detachment. I was a star patient. I got to do anything I wanted to do while I was there. Everyone there had to be up at a certain time to go eat breakfast and what not. I got to sleep in an hour later and I would get to eat by myself. They even said that the others should be more like me. I use to tell them I wanted to stay there. They promptly booked me on the fast track to getting out. The day that my meds were adjusted enough they let me out.

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  126. @Adam, sociopaths aren’t the only mass murderers, but I’ll def give you that. I’m about hypermanic right now, it’s bizarre for me. I’m usually just depressive.

    @aspie … yes, it really is that fucked. I’m alive, and I’ve spent half my life wishing I wasn’t because I can’t maintain my emotions. It’s not ok. My moments of joy are fleeting and obsessive. Or hypomanic and strange. I do not have a steady baseline of ‘good’, or even ‘ok’. I’m doing better today. I have no idea what tomorrow will be like. It is not fun.

    @I love tn… heh, how would you play it?

    @notme… very hyper phases might be hypomania, which isn’t full blown mania and well within the BPD or cylcothymic spectrum. I have this too. It’s pretty rare for me nowadays, but well, I’m feeling the upswing currently.

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  127. medusa, guys pay attention to my ass, you let it go. you watch this, in case you haven't:
    In Search of Beethoven
    2009 NR 139 minutes
    Phil Grabsky, award-winning director of In Search of Mozart, lenses this feature length, in-depth look at Ludwig van Beethoven, which features new insights into the composer's life and music, and excerpts from more than 60 live performances. Performers and musical authorities interviewed for the film include Sir Roger Norrington, Claudio Abbado, Ronald Brautigam, Hélène Grimaud, Vadim Repin, Janine Jansen, Lars Vogt and Emanuel Ax.

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  128. Anon, from my brief look at the list i think they all fit me. (although i'll look properly again). The only thing i've never done is self-harm as in cutting, burning or whatever it is people do. But i still harm my body in other ways.

    'I do it to hold onto them, not because I actually feel sorry.'

    yep, that's what i was getting at. I don't feel remorse either when it comes to certain people who i feel resentment towards - i do it cos it's pragmatic and i need them for some reason. Again, i used to feel more remorse (but that often came with a need for people to 'get' me) than i do now.

    It's weird, my remorse is so patchy. Sometimes I overflow with conscience and sometimes, there's just nothing there.

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  129. @Adam … @30? Heh. Perhaps, but not this beeper. I was doing things at 12 most will never be able to do. I, am not normal. By any standard.

    @Anon… BPD is a great way to get obsessed with people and drive them away. Extreme emotions don’t generally work well with rational people. Or maybe they do, and I just haven’t dated any male types of those. Women seem to be much better about this.

    @Kesu… my saving grace is my detachment. I have dissociative disorders that detach me from my reality. It’s a defense mechanism but it maintains my sanity. So I’m not complaining.

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  130. based on what i am hearing my sister may be bpd. what is the best way to treat her when she starts screaming?

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  131. Are you sure that documentary is not a fictionalized or a bunch of guessing games?

    All that Mozart stuff is completely unfounded.

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  132. Even when I was 10 years old I could sit down with people who were much older than me and they would be shocked at how mature I was, I'd give amazing observations on the psyche of children my age that even a trained psychiatrist would be envious of, I've always had the extraordinary ability to psychologically penatrate others. From my experiences I've learned what other individuals find fascinating and what they despise, all this and I don't even read.

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  133. 'very hyper phases might be hypomania, which isn’t full blown mania and well within the BPD or cylcothymic spectrum. I have this too. It’s pretty rare for me nowadays, but well, I’m feeling the upswing currently.'

    You know, i kinda hope that's the case. I wouldn't want to know that i have the type that gets worse without treatment. And yes, cyclothemia, or rapid-cycle bipolar is what i think i experience. It's quite a handful as it is.

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  134. @Kesu

    Did you use to steal other people's food and use people?

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  135. As bad as it sounds, i do envy that dissociative thing of yours. I could do with a larger more hefty dollop of that once in a while.

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  136. @notme... exactly, yes. People rarely, if ever, understand us. We change too much, too fast. Too much energy and emotion. It used to drive me crazy not being able to get anyone to understand. I felt terrible, but not for them. I felt terrible for me, because I was alone and no one else got it.

    If you're anything like me your conscience might eventually dissipate more. I still have it for animals, but less so for people. Then again, animals have never treated me so horribly as most people.

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  137. It's a real problem when people get attached to their diagnoses like I see going on here.

    It's a common phenomenon that people will act out the symptoms of their diagnosis, whether the diagnosis is correct or not. Even if it's correct, the label just often keeps people stuck in a certain paradigm. And it becomes easier to avoid personal responsibility, because you have a 'disease'.

    I not so sure it's healthy to spend so much time ruminating on what's wrong with you like that.

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  139. medusa, just google their names and see. here's infamous wiki:

    Mozart and Beethoven
    From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


    Portrait of Beethoven as a young man by Carl Traugott Riedel (1769 – 1832)
    Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart had a powerful influence on the work of Ludwig van Beethoven. Beethoven knew much of Mozart's work, and modeled a number of his own compositions on works of Mozart. In addition, the two may have met briefly in Vienna in 1787. This article covers both the possible meeting and the influence on Beethoven of Mozart's compositions.

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  140. @Adam, I don't doubt you. When I was that young I was less interested in people. More interested in the world and the cosmos. I fail at dealing with my own emotions, but observing and interpreting my surroundings was always natural. That includes people. I was less interested in how other people acted though and more so how to get people to interact with me that way that I wanted.

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  141. when I asked about how to treat my sister when screaming, I meant how to behave around her when she is screaming? SHould I ignore? Should I say 'this is unacceptable?' SHould I try to reason and argue back?

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  142. @Medusa… I see your perspective. I’ve had severe issues since I was 13. I wasn’t diagnosed until almost 17 years later and only because of the entirety of my experience. I can certainly see your point and it is probably quite valid for many.

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  143. In addition, the two may have met briefly in Vienna in 1787.

    Exactly. They may have met. But there is absolutely nothing to back that up.

    I have a degree in classical music composition, so I don't really need a wiki(!) page to tell me what's up.

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  144. Medusa is a pessimist, trait of narcissism.

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  145. @Anon... Try a gag? I don't know. Everyone is different, and that includes someone with BPD. I don't sit around screaming and if I did I'd fully expect to be gagged and institutionalized. Suggest finding a psychiatrist to prescribe tranquilizers? Hell.

    I'd be tough. I'd tell her it was unacceptable. Acknowledge and validate her feelings, but also try to make her understand that there are more productive ways to deal with what she is experiencing.

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  146. @Jason

    What are you asking me exactly Jason? When I was little I use to steal the toys I didn't have from other kids or I was missing a part of a toy I would steal from someone else. Like I remember I had the original power ranger bot thing. It had a shield with a mastodon face that had tusks. Well I lost that shield. So I stole my cousins while I was at his house. I did stuff like that pretty constantly.

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  147. Anon 6.22.
    You just kinda gotta let her ride it out. You could easily make it worse by aggravating it. Don't force her to calm down, physically or otherwise. It will make it worse. People who rage often become different people entirely, like they are in another mental zone. They'll do things they may regret (things they wouldn't normally want to do), and even forget all about it once it's over!!

    The best time to address it is once the raging is over. Calmly and sensitively. Don't jugde her, try to understand why she does it. Mainly, if it's really extreme, maybe she needs to get some professional insight.

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  148. The only woman I'd consider marrying would be a narc, I dislike weak women. I've never had the desire to have a family though, it hasn't crossed my mind once.

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  149. @notme... I'm pretty sure my dissociation is what keeps me going some days. It's so bizarre and incredibly disconcerting. It eases the utter turmoil but feels like someone else living your life. It's, not always pleasant, but not unwelcome, if that makes sense.

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  150. Lol. How does saying that Mozart and Beethoven probably never met make me a pessimist?

    The account anon gave of their 'relationship' is a hell of a lot more pessimistic.

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  151. @Adam... a narc? really? she'd never give a shit about what you wanted, only what you could do for her.

    I'm with you on the never having a family thing though. Mostly because I can't fathom the idea of potentially passing on this kind of crazy and bringing someone into a world this shitty. I'd just feel bad. And not have time to do the things I actually want to do.

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  152. do people here take meds for their various pds and conditions?

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  153. I have never in my life been on meds. Never will.

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  154. @aspie... I do currently, but it's not for my PD so much as for the symptoms of my PD like depression and anxiety. Thusfar however, they do not work.

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  155. not even very briefly medusa?

    how about alcohol or marijuana?

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  156. continued: the best thing to do till she calms down by herself, is listen. (or fuck it, just 'pretend' to listen). Kinda reassure her and say, 'it's ok' -uh -huh , yeah, uh-huh you're so right sweetie...'
    she'll calm down eventually. LOL. But this is not to excuse what she does, she needs to get to the bottom of why it's happening.

    BTW NO ONE could ignore me when i'm like that, so good luck with that. There really is no easy way to handle it. She;s needs to learn to handle herself. If she has BPD, she'll have to understand her triggers and try to avoid them or control her reaction to them to some extent.

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  157. Nope. Not even briefly. I have a general disdain for psychotropics and psychiatry for the most part. I know that for some people they have no other choice, but I believe one should attempt personal responsibility first.

    Again, meds are an all-too-easy way to avoid things in many many many cases.

    Never been much of a drinker.

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  158. I've tried relationships with weak willed women and it hasn't worked, I'm too much to handle for them, I need someone who has the strength to put up with me, yet at the same time I want a person who will do as I say and shut up, I don't like being told to clean up after myself. I don't like affection at all, and I don't express it, I got over indulged early on so I'm full up on that.

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  159. hey aspie btw, i forgot to say 'hi'. haven't 'seen' you in a while.

    If you can believe it i've had a mood disorder for years, but only recently diagnosed BPD, and just got on SSRIs. To echoe Haven, they do jack shit. :)

    That's all i take and i want to come off them. I still feel all the emotions, no welcome numbing, blah blah, still just me!

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  160. So you never required interventions... yeah I agree with you though.. i don't take any meds

    i was so addicted to pot at one time, pot and beer, now just some beer

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  162. ... remember that one time notme ran out of meds?

    That shit is scary. Like heroin.

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  163. Funny enough I've never smoked and i don't drink, surprised?

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  164. LOL Medusa!! yes. it was appaling. hehe. I think i ran out for two days or something.

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  165. Yet again Adam, showing us just how hardcore you are.

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  166. hi notme!

    yeah i have a bpd friend who was prescribed some antidepressant... didn't help her at all... she loves her pot... i like her how she is... though she does go through a lot pain at times... I have long talks with her

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  168. I've come really close aspie, and I've had a couple near-emergency situations, but I manage to pull myself up just enough to avoid going down that road, because I don't want to. Never been hospitalized. Most I've done is go to some emergency counselling center once, which was a waste of time. Sitting in a waiting room for 2 hours, then talking to someone who can't tell me anything I didn't already know.

    Tried therapy for a month but that was a waste of time as well. I made a bad choice of therapist.

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  169. I'm so hardcore that nobody comments my blogs.

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  170. Like I said before. I was put on meds. It was a condition of my release. However, after 6 months of taking them I dropped them. They didn't help me. I took welbutrin and trileptal (I think that is how you spell those two medication. Probably wrong). The doctors told me that I my emotions would come back online and that I would experience the emotions of past incidents that I never felt. Well they were half right half wrong. My body experienced some of the emotions. For instance I was sitting in class one day during summer school and my eyes just started leaking tears. I wouldn't have even noticed that it was happening if it wasn't for a female friend. However I did get mad a lot. Just bouts of rage that came from no where. I would start breaking whatever was closest to me. Every time I went to get my meds checked they would up my meds. I maxed out all my medications and then they started talking about putting me on lithium. I said fuck this at that point and stopped taking them.

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  171. Haven, does pot help with your symptoms? Anxiety etc?

    i think they prescribe marujana to some people - i wonder if we qualify??? :D

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  172. Oh yeah, I forgot, I was on Wellbutrin (Zyban) once, but it was prescribed to me to quit smoking. Make me insane and sleepless and I always felt like I was about to have a heart attack. Stopped taking it after a few days.

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  173. @I love tn… man I wish I just got grumpy every now and again. I mean I do, but that’s the bare minimum.

    @notme… I don’t smoke pot. I don’t do drugs of any sort that aren’t prescribed. Well, I drink, but even that I’m cutting back on. Depressant on top of depression is generally unhelpful. I did try pot 3 times in highschool and I hated it. It made me slow and everything had drag. I can’t stand to feel that slow. My brain moves to fast.

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  174. Weed is a tough one, as it's hard to regulate. I'm at the point where it just makes things worse and I think it (along with other factors) has made me slightly bipolar and more than a little paranoid.

    It's great as a short term fix, but might have bad long-term effects.

    There's a real risk of it making depression worse, and I do believe it may, in some instances, lead to psychosis, but I think that depends on your situation and your personality.

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  175. I took a neuroleptic for a month and then some lithium for a very short while and that was it for the prescribed drugs... no thanks.

    I suspect caffeine affects many people negatively.

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  176. Woah pot related psychosis. That is the reefer madness. XD

    Seriously though I've never heard of pot leading to pyschosis.

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  177. Well I'm painfully bored, just thought you'd all like to know.

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  178. Jason:

    "Zhawq, have you ever tried channeling your urges like dexter does in that fictional show?"

    I don't understand the relevance?


    "If you wanted, you could channel your rage at people who society condemns, you would be praised."

    You misunderstand me, Jason. I am not angry. I was merely trying to explain something. No, I'm generally a very calm person. You shouldn't worry about me, but thanks never the less... I guess. *S*


    "Just a thought"

    Okay. Ideas is always a good thing. :)


    Misanthrope:

    "I got a girl pregnant once when I was 17 but I made her get rid of it."

    Why did go to such extremes? Don't you like yourself, or was it just to see how she would react?

    Personally I like the idea of having my genes brought on to the coming generations. So many women today would go and have an abortion just because you leave her and she'd be alone. That might make me make her keep it and even wait leaving until I was sure that she did.

    Guess people are just different that way, huh?

    That said, when I was younger I might've done the same thing you describe. But it would've been in order to see how far I could make someone change their mind, and so it would also only be likely that I'd make someone get an abortion if they didn't initially want it.

    BUT...That was when I was young, mind you. I'd never do that today!

    I was young and foolish and even a little antisocial, rebellious. That's all changed in so many ways, even if my lack of empathy and all that - remorse and so on - hasn't.

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  179. Are you pathologically lying with no empathy at the same time?

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  180. Google it Kesu, it's all over the place. There's also a link to schizophrenia... but a lot of this might be a chicken/egg/triggers question.

    I used to think it was a fear-mongering technique, but now, from experience, I think it's a real possibility.

    I do do the coffee/cigarette thing. It's getting really annoying. The rituals makes me ADD and restless. It's like I'm always looking for a certain satisfaction that never comes.

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  181. Also, Kesu, 5 times? Ever heard of a condom? Yikes.

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  182. TN you should grab Jason and taunt him with naughty pictures. He's trying not to jerk it. MAKE IT HARD FOR HIM!(Pun intended)

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