Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Seeing more

From a reader:
Thank you.

I have been lost with who and what I was for most of my life. At an early age all of the therapists couches I ever haunted, the basic conclusion was always the same, just a simple case of manic depression. I never really had the ability to come clean on the mountains of issues I hid behind that fact. For me it was enough, I never saw the logic behind all of that honesty anyways. I was under the impression that there was some slightly different inside of me. I made it my entire goal in life to control my urges as much as I can. Besides just manipulating people just for sport I would also spend hours of my young life practicing emotions. I got so incredibly good at pretending that sometimes I would lose my self-inside of the fabrications. It was so easy for me to make friends and get into relationships with women. I had to create a code of conduct I needed to follow that encompassed almost every situation I would ever find myself in.

To me all of this was normal until I opened up to a friend and was informed that no one was like that. Like being taught that masturbation was a sin at an early age by your church, I spent the rest of my life ashamed of what I was. The worst was I was never really ashamed, I just told myself that I was. I have never been able to feel most emotions directly. I knew what emotion I should feel in any situation and would convince myself that I was feeling it. I have always said the easiest person to lie to is yourself.

After getting older I have come to a massive amount of conclusions on the subject of my self-identity. Thanks to this web site and what you have posted, I found the courage to openly admit to my family and friends what I was. I feel so much better. Not treating myself as an enemy has done wonders on so many other facets of my life.

Thank you again and I look forward to seeing more.

126 comments:

  1. ok, something that i'm having trouble with is this whole "coming out" thing. who the hell sits their and/ or close friends down in the living room, takes a deep breath and says "guys, i'm a sociopath"???

    i don't think that a real socio would give a damn about any of the problems in this article. he's another one of those guys who got depressed and decide to "become a sociopath". then again, that's just my opinion. can any of the socios relate to this article?

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  2. I think it's more entertaining for people not to know, plus I see no benefits in telling someone anyway. It would be like a hero (or villan) revealing their true identity; which would likely result in the loss of their power. Plus this person seems too deep in their own self wallowing to be a true socio, though I'm no expert.

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  3. I never tell people I'm a sociopath.

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  4. Off topic question: Of the sociopaths here, have any of you studied a university/college degree or have a degree?

    I am aware that it isn't usual for us socios to stay committed to a task like that, but it does happen.

    -Bored sociopath

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  5. Sounds like this guy has been watching too much Dexter. Does anyone actually create a Code of Conduct? Techniques and emotional manipulation to blend in/hide true natures better I get, but a code?

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  6. It's easy in your youth to convince yourself that because you're living a giant con, everybody else must be living the same con.

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  7. "I knew what emotion I should feel in any situation and would convince myself that I was feeling it."

    This is what I used to think others do to themselves with love, remorse and empathy.
    It's only lately that I'm beginning to realize that perhaps they do feel it naturally, that maybe it's not a construct.

    Yes, mails can be helpful to the blogger too (at least to this blogger <--).

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  8. maybe it's not a construct.

    It is a construct. Only they feel those things automatically & instinctively. We have to fake it.

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  9. It doesn't ring true for me 'cause the whole thing stinks of emotional weakness. Yearning to be understood and accepted? Why?
    Not to mention outing yourself and losing a huge advantage.

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  10. I am the Socio that mailed M.E. this. I see the warning that he gave me about "outing myself" to the WWW community. Everyones responses so far are making me laugh. Your approval is not what i desire.


    I didn't just sit my family down and have a Q&A. I slowly and very privately told my sister and older brother. their responses were their own.
    The "family" i told was my wife.

    In the end they all said they knew they just never labeled it. Platonic friends would never get that close and for good reason.

    Admitting it out loud was never an attempt to join a "cool group". The purpose behind it was to further myself. As i have stated being a sociopath isn't a bad thing, its more something that I needed to come to terms with. It is now just a personality trait. I do consider myself a very high functioning person. I am now in my 30's and have now am facing some of my greatest hurtles career, house, and kids.



    Through my life i have "created" emotions that are now very real. In the end I know that they are only short cuts. The "moral code" i live by is about the same. I created it. I still deal with the first impulse but i have tough myself to ignore my first response to EVERYTHING.

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  11. Even the mafia, pirates and guerrella revolutionaries have a code. Its their code. All power structures have a code. I get it. Without guilt, its an unlimited template. Its takes some creativity create one. Its the self-imposed center of all centers to a center without a core. It's faith. It's fierce. And just another game.

    What tactics do you engage to ignore your first response to impulse?

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  12. Hm, well, congratulations, I guess?

    Everyone has their own deviations from the template, I guess. I've never had a moral code, innate or fake, but I don't plan on brutally assaulting small children as an adult, just because they can be just as annoying as their adult counterparts. Sometimes there are lines I just don't cross for common sense and courtesy, it has nothing to do with being righteous.

    I'm aware of what it feels like to try and think you're having en emotion and fooling yourself into it. It's only natural for someone to try when they can't feel them regularly.

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  13. OP: I came about "my code" through trial and error. I dont ever like to calls it a code it has always just been my conscience.
    A good majority has been lifted from the Christian faith. My mother is a bible thumping born-again who made it her mission to cram as much religion down my throat as she could.
    As i got older i took some from Buddhism and some from Taoism. So much of it was just from experience with the world around me.
    In the beginning i did follow my first impulse but i saw the end result was less that desirable and it would have long standing effects on my life. I had to teach my self to develop an extra step when making a decision. I have made it so seamless sometimes i dont even notice it.

    I step outside of myself and select the appropriate response. I do have a catalog of pre-approved responses that require no thought at all. Like saying please and thank you, i developed them as natural as i could.
    I still dont have all social situations covered so for the most part i just remain silent. in an extreme cases where i have to react instantaneousness i do my best to remove myself and if that isnt an option i just ignore what ever first and second response comes to mind (those being the worst)and power through it. I RARELY ever find myself in a situation i havent planed for but they still exist (example law-enforcement officers)

    In the end i can give you an example: I tortured small animals until i was 18. i was almost caught the last time and at that point i made the conclusion that if i wanted to continue my life the way it was i had to make a subtle correction. I now share a dog and 2 cats with my wife. Every day they annoy me to the point i would like to drown them in the bath tub but i know i cant so i just dont. when i get to the point where my impulse feels out of control i just leave my house.
    I hope this answers your question.

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  14. Anon 3:26 (2nd post):

    "I think it's more entertaining for people not to know, plus I see no benefits in telling someone anyway. It would be like a hero (or villan) revealing their true identity; which would likely result in the loss of their power. Plus this person seems too deep in their own self wallowing to be a true socio, though I'm no expert."

    I am no expert either, but I can tell you this much: From a psychopath's point of view what you've said is how it is, you've understood it correctly.

    The problem, as always, is the confusion in terms. Are we talking about Psychopathy or Sociopathy? And even so, what school of definition do you apply to these labels?

    If we really want to understand ourselves, establishing definitions is the first thing we have to do.

    However, we're a resilient lot, and this blog is entertaining either way. Who am I to say if somebody adopts an illusory self view, that it is not every bit as valid in their reality as mine is to me?

    If this reader has the drive to learn, he will find out in which niche he sits, eventually. He'll be okay!


    Anon (1st post):

    "who the hell sits their and/ or close friends down in the living room, takes a deep breath and says "guys, i'm a sociopath"???"

    I got stuck on this detail too. My thought was: "Wow, he must have some rather incredible friends!".


    "can any of the socios relate to this article?"

    I can relate to practicing and mimicking emotions and behavior, obviously. After all, that's what I've been doing all my life, and I still learn new ways and new emotional expressions (and yes, I do also practice them. Those who find this ridiculous or silly will find yourselves loosing out on a lot in the future. There will always be something new to learn, and practice makes perfect. It is those who stop practicing because they think it's only for children, who will loose in life's game, not me!).

    The rest - actually tricking oneself into believing you feel shame, f.x., is alien to me.

    I'm not putting this reader down, that's not what it's about. But it seems very far from anything I have experienced.


    Haven,

    I don't think it's unnatural for a young person to adopt ideas from a TV series. After all, very few psychopathic people have the opportunity to learn from others what they really are. The closest they get may in fact be TV series. I can understand it from a young antisocial sociopath's perspective.


    (I've written today's blog with outset in this reader's mail to M.E.)

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  15. The mimicking emotions thing is stupid, i don't watch Dexter but they probably got the idea from there, I can feel emotions fine, the thing is i don't get the full force of them, this guy makes sociopaths sound like an alien, people think that sociopaths must be lacking something because of the awful things they do to people, the thing is that probably isn't the case. I sometimes think about the damage I cause to others and I'm perfectly content with it. If you has to mimic every emotion what would be the point of living? If you couldn't feel happy? You'd off yourself within a year. Don't listen to Robert hare either, do your own research, I think it's down to a distraction rather than lacking any emotion.

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  16. Anon 5:53:

    "It is a construct. Only they feel those things automatically & instinctively. We have to fake it."

    Yes, I believe it is. But I think it would be an oversimplification to say that is all it is, because if they truly do this, to them it IS reality.


    Anon 4:48:

    "It's easy in your youth to convince yourself that because you're living a giant con, everybody else must be living the same con."

    Yes. I did this, and for various reasons I didn't realize my error until I was well into adulthood.


    Love tn:

    "Not to mention outing yourself and losing a huge advantage."

    This may be a case of misunderstanding. Sociopaths can have family or friends with whom they actually do bond. This reader very obviously have done that with his friends, and to have this option can only be seen as an advantage.

    To him manipulation and maintaining advantage would be focused elsewhere - on society in general, most likely.

    I think perhaps you had Psychopathy in mind when you wrote this. :)


    Anon 7:46:

    "OP: I came about "my code" through trial and error. I dont ever like to calls it a code it has always just been my conscience."

    That word, 'Code', when I watch Dexter, always sits wrong with me somehow. I've decided that everybody are different, and sometimes one just has to accept that there are values others have even if I do not, and that it doesn't necessarily mean they're lying or deluding themselves (though I'm not entirely certain about the last two words).

    I don't know what it is that has always just been your conscience. Maybe you can explain?


    "I had to teach my self to develop an extra step when making a decision. I have made it so seamless sometimes i dont even notice it."

    How did you manage to succeed with this? To everybody else around here - myself included - this seems to be one of the hurdles we just can't seem to crack. Tell us?

    Your second passage is very much like an acquaintance of mine does it. He has Aspergers by the way, and is able to pull a lot of things through that I cannot. However, his remaining problem is - like you mention - the unexpected social situations. And since almost every social situation has unexpected elements it is demanding on his energy than it is on normal people's.

    I myself never found a problem with these things. I can always find the right thing to say... which doesn't mean I don't slip from time to time. But I have a very easy time turning it around so that it doesn't lead to unwanted results, more often I actually turn it into an advantage I didn't have before the slip up. :)

    Your third passage: Yes, I've had the same experience you refer to in the first two lines. And I made corrections. *s* Luckily I've never had to tolerate annoying elements to the point where I have to leave my own house - even though it has come close, but the source of irritation came from my neighbors.

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  17. Zhawk, you are the aspie not your friend. Everyone here thinks you are a weirdo lol.

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  18. Let's say I killed a new born baby or a puppy right now, picked it up by the neck and threw it off a bridge, I honestly wouldn't feel anything, I'm the kind of person who'd laugh, I'd forget about it in five minutes.

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  19. Op still: The word “code” is cracking me up. Thank to shows such as Dexter we now have a “role model?” but relax its just a tv show.
    The code is not “Harry’s code” its comes from a laminated sign from my youth. In 6th grade when the “signs” were getting clearer I would fall into deep thought on a code of conduct sign hung in my writing class: teacher Mrs. Mia. The sign almost encompassed all forms of horseplay. I knew at that point I need something that would keep me from going to the principal’s office every week. So I drew up my own version of code of conduct.
    Zhawk it is very hard to explain something that is just done. I am aware I am doing it I just don’t know how its done. I will explain how it happens in my head.
    It starts as a dramatic pause. Look for the correct response.
    No.
    no.
    no.
    I think I decided that one was to hateful.
    that one two is not quite right,
    and finally I get the answer.” No sweetie that outfit looks fine”
    Par it with the pre approve facial que for emphasis and done.
    I have made short cuts that skip over so much so it looks like I am genuinely reflecting over what I am going to say.

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  20. Anon 6:21:

    "I am the Socio that mailed M.E. this."

    Oh, well hello there!... :)


    "Your approval is not what i desire."

    Good! Nor should it be. That would certainly be the greatest mistake you could possibly make.

    My impression from your mail to M.E., has you seem efficient in probably many ways, and you have the wish to learn and understand. That's a lot more than can be said about most of the kids who post on this board.

    I really believe you will be well.

    Can I ask you a question: Do you study? I mean, are you working on getting yourself an education?

    If you have the opportunity and the ability to do so, my advice (for what it is) is: Do so!

    It is the greatest overall advantage you can gain for yourself from a long term perspective. And with the support you enjoy from good friends you should be able to pull it through. Many who share your character traits have done it, most likely even more have done it than who have not.

    It is not only antisocial Factor 2. traits that makes a person fail in that regard. A lot of it has to do with social background and upbringing. And it is here that I see you have a fortunate position.

    Let me tell you personally that I am pleased for you that you happened upon M.E.'s blog and thus learned what you needed to learn so that you could get rid of that hampering sense of 'shame'.

    Actually, even that alone can drive some people to become overly antisocial and basically work against themselves.

    Also, indeed there are many people who have found benefits in M.E.'s blog - myself included.

    I could say, in a way, that it is M.E./M.E.'s blog that inspired me to create a blog of this nature myself (it is not the whole truth, but it is also not entirely without founding).

    For reasons that relate to different aspects such as my own diagnosis and my background, it is not a replica of M.E.'s blog, but focus instead slightly more on Psychopathy and on the heavily Factor 2. ridden people of all the related groups.


    As a matter of fact I've written today's article based on your mail to M.E., :)

    You're welcome to pay me a visit.

    And should you decide not to, I will just say:

    Be Well, and Best of Luck ahead!... ^L^,

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  21. Adam? why would you kill it first? I always enjoyed watching it struggle with the water. You wouldn't think about it later and get ever so slightly aroused?

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  22. Nope, if it was a woman Id think about how much control I had over her at that moment, as for the baby and the dog, I'd be indifferent.

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  23. Wow. This guy is so not a sociopath. He obviously cares. Which means you aren't a sociopath. WTF is coming out? The only coming out there is is when you do those small jokes after doing something completely seemingly psycho. Maybe you have a beta that can know you but you doing it like you are coming out of the closet. The way this guy phrases everything is like his opinions were after thoughts. Like he put everyone else opinions first then his own. It doesn't work like that. I don't give a shit what anyone else thinks. The only important opinion is mine. Period end of sentence. You aren't a socio you're a fucking bleeding heart.

    Fucken fooling yourself into emotions. Dipshit post.

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  24. An extra note to you, who wrote the mail to M.E.:

    "Everyones responses so far are making me laugh."

    Hm, okay. I don't quite see what was laughable about the post I wrote prior to this remark from you.

    Were you perhaps a little hasty seeing everybody as being eager to No! you?

    There was no such aspect in my post, my friend. You will find there are a few around here who are not all about Socio Dick Contesting.

    If you have a wish to debate with those of us who might be able to do so on a level basis, the first step would be to identify us and ignore the rest.

    What you were doing with this remark was the opposite of that. Unless, of course, you really do think my post is laughable, in which case I guess I have yet another question for you: Why? :)

    You have learned that you can choose in which perspective to view yourself, yes?

    The same can be done on a Comment board. You don't have to view everything everybody says from the perspective of defense. No everybody are out to get you. Find those who aren't!

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  25. Op:
    Socio Dick Contesting is what is making me laugh.

    (I am looking at the real responses as inceteful. you should check your blog i did respond to it. I would like to meet more of the "grown ups" so i can make more educated conclusions and learn more)

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  26. Op:

    "zomagad you cant be a sociopath only i can be one......cracking me up.

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  27. Does anyone here have a code that they haven't broken on a fairly regular basis? I've stated things I would never do then turned right around and done them the next instance.

    >Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Off topic question: Of the sociopaths here, have any of you studied a university/college degree or have a degree?

    Yup. I kept quitting and going back. College classes were always the same for me. Start out trying to be at every class. End of semester I'm skipping every other class and leaving ASAP every day.

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  28. So what you are saying is that when you reach the age of 30 you magically sprout a conscience? That doesn't happen. I already said that anyone who calls themselves a sociopath should give evidence, otherwise their words are hollow.

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  29. That is right. You have to throw orange pieces at small animals to be a socio. I know because Adam did it.

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  30. And one more for Mail Writer:

    "I didn't just sit my family down and have a Q&A. I slowly and very privately told my sister and older brother. their responses were their own.
    The "family" i told was my wife."

    This part was not included in your mail to M.E. - at least not the part cited in today's blog post.

    Was our lack of understanding that you have 'slowly and very privately told' family members (not your friends), what made you laugh?

    Tell me, how were we to know this when it was not in the post version of your mail?


    "In the end they all said they knew they just never labeled it. Platonic friends would never get that close and for good reason."

    Now you're actually beginning to recant what you told M.E.
    I think I understand though. I can relate to why you didn't spell out who and how you told. What I'm critizicing is that you blame US for not knowing the facts - or at least you let us know our posts made you laugh (= we're ridiculous in our ignorance). That is not a good start, pal. But I'm sure you can still change it if you want to. Many have before (just ask Adam, lol).


    "As i have stated being a sociopath isn't a bad thing, its more something that I needed to come to terms with."

    I believe I have never disputed this, not even indirectly. There's still nothing to find contempt for with my post - which is obviously my main concern, since I gather the others can care for their own posts.

    And yet, there is more to it. Your writing this post to me signals that you're interested in learning also by interacting with others - sociopaths, antisocials, etc. - and I found your wish and willingness to take the step you did to be something I like about a person. It made me want to possibly assist you if I can. That is my other main concern and the reason I bother to tell you what I find to be unfortunate about your approach at this point.

    It is still based in what I wrote first: Focus on what matters.


    "It is now just a personality trait. I do consider myself a very high functioning person. I am now in my 30's and have now am facing some of my greatest hurtles career, house, and kids."

    I see. I got the impression you were younger. Things like that can be very hard to tell from a mail such as the one M.E. cite today.
    But I was right then: You did/could make yourself a career and follow a long term goal. Good to hear. ;)


    "Through my life i have "created" emotions that are now very real."

    Hmm, okay. Man, that's an accomplishment I don't believe anybody has pulled off before. You should be in Guiness Book of Records.

    What I'm saying is, you have created one of two possibilities:

    1.) - An Illusion.

    2.) - The emotions were always there to begin with. Somehow you needed to construct uncommon techniques in order to actualize them.


    I am inclined to believe in 2.) , and if I'm right about that, I'll say Well done! That is surely not an easy thing to accomplish!


    "In the end I know that they are only short cuts."

    How do you mean? Shortcuts to what?


    "The "moral code" i live by is about the same. I created it. I still deal with the first impulse but i have tough myself to ignore my first response to EVERYTHING."

    Again, well done! It's one of the hardest things to do. I think everybody can attest to that.

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  31. Lmao! That's still more than what you are giving.

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  32. Truth of the matter is, anyone who comes into contact with a sociopath will get used and abused.

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  33. Op:
    Adam i dont feel that need to. If proof is something that you requre to join your click count me out. let my words be hollow to you. I dont need your approval.

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  34. Arh, it seems there's been a lot of cross posting today (between my PC and the Internet). Almost like we're sitting in time loops a little out of sync.


    Adam:

    "I think it's down to a distraction rather than lacking any emotion."

    Okay, so you don't agree with Hare. You agree with Newman. How does that make you more knowledgeable than others?

    Hare describes his findings, Newman describes a research he is undertaking at present and which has not become an established 'belief' yet.

    Don't worry, I know you don't know what I'm talking about. Just messing a bit witcha! ;)

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  35. Wow Zhawq really starts to freak when people laugh at his posts apparently. Mental note made.

    I pushed my friend off my balcony the other day. Good enough for you, Adam?

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  36. Zhawq ... I can see how taking example from a TV show could be useful then. It's just sort of an odd perspective for me b/c I don't even have public access in terms of television (never watch it) and I don't think the movies I watch should model anyones behavior. Thanks.

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  37. Zhawk, I never know what you are talking about.

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  38. I’m not sure I agree with the idea that empaths only fake things automatically as a construct. Emotions aren’t rational, they aren’t always controllable. Often there is no control and they just hemorrhage forth. There can be a degree of delusion or distortion concerning the magnitude towards how emotions are felt and displayed. When there is an amount of distortion I agree the belief in it does make it reality, even if it is not rationally so. However even distorted feelings are usually founded in a very real base inner sense. Emotions are an evolutionary trait, not a constructed manipulation.

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  39. I've never read a book on psychopathy yet I think I'm an expert haha there is an ego for ya.

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  40. What we shouldn't model our personalities off the movies we watch? Shit. I gotta stop trying to fuck pizza delivery boys and female cops.

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  41. Zhawq, when I said that I had my own mind in mind. I'm ever so self-obsessed. :)

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  42. have any of you studied a university/college degree or have a degree?
    yup. boredom and need for new things was a struggle; i didn't revise for it, but my natural brains got me there :)

    did anon socio seriously say "...it has always just been my conscience"
    eh?

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  43. @Kesu... ::laughs:: I wouldn't be opposed to dressing up like an S&M schoolgirl and demolishing the buildings around me (explosions are fun), but I think the city law enforcement would take exception to it.

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  44. @Haven

    ... MAKE VIDEOS!!! Sounds hot. I'll come help. I keep picturing you as a suicide girl type. Mmmmmmm.

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  45. @Kesu... SG type is accurate enough haha, going to get a big ink job done soon. Hah, maybe if I was still stripping. Now I need those things to not be on the internet. Also to not be arrested for arson.

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  46. Wow you use to be a stripper? Then me and you really would have gotten along. :D

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  47. Get some pictures up ;)

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  48. Yeah last summer into autumn. Skeezy guys aside it was really pretty fun.

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  49. LOL. I know more then a few strippers. Use to frequent one strip club. So I got to know a lot of the girls. Got a lot of numbers. Partied with them. All ways a fun crowd. They all know where to score fun stuff.

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  50. I can't stand those broads who look like kat von d she looks like Marilyn Manson with a pair of tits, disgusting, ghost white and a shit ton of dirt all over her body, that's what tattoos are, who'd wanna be seen next to Casper on the beach? I like my women tall tight big breasted, blonde and codependent.

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  51. Kat von D is too extreme and I couldn't be a ghost even if I wanted to. Tats and piercings are fun. Self expression and all that.

    Can sleep easier knowing I don't meet your requirements though. Hah.

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  52. I like women. Of all types. They are all fun for the most part. I have this feeling that you are a short guy Adam.

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  53. Mail Writer,

    I have left a Response to your Post at my blog.

    Please dismiss the misunderstanding here in this thread. Time distortion had me mix things up quite a bit.

    :)

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  54. I love codependant women. They were made for sociopaths. They are so agreeable and ready to serve. My fiance is codependant. She said our marraige will be a lifetime of servitude for her. I like the sounds of that.
    I like the beginning the most though when they are all wide eyed with wonder and amazement at the person you are. Codependant women will do almost anything for you. That's the type of women I like.

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  55. Always ask them what their father was like. If they say controlling and dominant you are all the way in the game.

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  56. My dad was dominant, but my parents lost total control of me by the time I was 13.

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  57. Adam you inadvertently told Res you have an abnormally large penis. How can someone with a penis that size still be a virgin?

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  58. You guys have some gay ass parents. (I just thought you might be bored and want to analyze something, I don't really mean it.)

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  59. Kesu:

    "Wow Zhawq really starts to freak when people laugh at his posts apparently. Mental note made."

    Don't take things so literally, pal. ;)

    The day you can foretell my reaction will be the day we can foretell that Adam will be 6,2 tall when he enters second grade! :D

    (Just hinting at the note you made to Adam about his height. He's a child, and children are usually not tall, lol)

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  60. sperm donor's controlling. dominant. nuts. textbook.

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  61. Zhawq I was kidden with yah. Just taking note on how caught up on the laughing thing you were.

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  62. Don't get so hostile. It bothers me to be honest.

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  63. "Don't get so hostile. It bothers me to be honest."

    LOL faggot

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  64. ^Proof that anony are idiots.

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  65. No proof that your and idiot. but you won't understand what I mean by that or why i'm saying it. hence idiot (;

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  66. Well there are two scenarios.

    1.You are just a straight up idiot who can't tell the impostor from me.

    2.You are the idiot impostor who wrote that then talked to yourself.

    Either way. You are a fucking retard.

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  67. As a rebuttal to anons being called idiots, the response of:
    "No proof that your and idiot."
    made me pee myself laughing :)

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  68. res will you come over here and wipe my pussy? i peed myself too.

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  69. wipe your own pussy, perve.

    ReplyDelete
  70. ResCogitans said...
    adam are you a virgin?
    March 29, 2011 11:08 AM

    Adam: No, i fucked myself

    ReplyDelete
  71. You can lick it clean for me anon. or kes can do it and then i'll let the faggot suck my gimps dick and use my filthy menstrual blood stained dildo.

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  72. There is not many people in this world as vile than a person who smokes.

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  73. UKan, my father was controlling and dominant and as a first born daughter I became just like him. Would've enjoyed making your acquaintance. Who knows, you may like a girl just like you, gotta try sometime. Dump the hollow brain, the willingness of a codependent may be way below the competence of an interdependent for your needs. Just sayin....

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  74. Two people too much alike in temperament generally doesn't work so well.

    Explosions.

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  75. @Medusa yeah you get fireworks. It is fun while they are going off but eventually you've exploded everything. Then you move on.

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  76. The sociopath and narcissist identifies with the dominant parent. Everyone in my family would side with my mother but I wasn't on either side, although I identify with the aggressor.

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  77. Who wants to eat the flesh that i'm about to rip from my cunt?

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  78. After you rip that off you should slit your own throat and give us all something to drink.

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  79. You can drink the pus and ooze that comes after it gets infected. then you can suck the tape worms out of my asshole.

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  80. How much will you pay me?

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  81. on the whole 'coming out' thing...
    i've told my mother on numerous occasions, when she tries to guilt me into doing something, that i don't feel guilt and don't have a conscience. she just ignores it or says "of course you do".

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  82. As i said i'll let you suck my gimps dick and use my filthy dildo.

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  83. Nah. I think I'll pass.

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  84. how much time on average does it take to make an exchange on a home? (buy not rent). Say it's empty and ready to be moved into.
    Does it take a few weeks to get in surveyors and shit like that?

    ReplyDelete
  85. Anon, shut up. You are wasting space.

    Kesu, shut up. You are helping anon to waste space.

    ReplyDelete
  86. Res I had the same thing. I suppose it's as hard for them to imagine not having a conscience as it is for us to imagine having one.

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  87. Medusa your comment just wasted space. WE MUST STOP WASTING SPACE THE INTERNET IS ALMOST FULL!!

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  88. I cannot wait until Donald Trump is president.

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  89. Hey Haven. No. My fam is getting a new place.

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  90. Why's that Medusa? RON PAUL!

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  91. It's not that I agree with his politics, I don't yet even know what they are, but,

    1. He's ridiculous in his confidence, it's entertainment. People will listen. He's a very smart guy.

    2. He'd probably actually get done what he says he will. A president who's not just a figurehead, but one with actual power.

    3. Lots of fodder for SNL and the Daily Show.

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  92. Not really, you just have a thing for narcissistic men because you have un resolved sexual issues towards your father, that is why you keep quoting UKan. You are a sychophant, a narcissist would lead you into a fire.

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  93. And laugh as she burns.

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  94. When i look into Trumps eyes i see a weakling, Sam Vaknin has those evil bastard eyes but Trump looks like a weakling.

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  95. Shut up you defensive bitch, you got found out. You have more problems than the psychopaths.

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  96. you got found out

    Lord, you are a retard. I hide nothing, never have.

    Trump is not a weakling.

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  97. True narcs step back from all that and laugh, it's a road to nowhere.

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  98. The rule to presidency in the US is good hair. Trump has the worst hair ever.

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  99. It was a year ago that 13-year-old Jon Carmichael committed suicide, hanging himself in a barn near his home in Cleburne, Texas.
    Monday, on the anniversary of his death, his parents, Jon Timothy and Tami Carmichael, filed a $20 million federal lawsuit against several officials at the school Jon attended, alleging they deliberately turned a blind eye to the bullying of their son, prompting his death.
    In the lawsuit, documents state that staff and students at The Joshua Independent School District observed several explicit acts of bullying, including Jon being thrown into a trash can "easily a few times a week," but did nothing to stop it.
    "He was placed upside down in a toilet bowl, and had his head flushed several times, at each occasion. These acts were observed by other students who failed to report the incident," the documents said. "Just prior to his death he was stripped nude, tied up and again placed into a trashcan."

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  100. His hair is a work of art.

    It's not fake, it's a very elaborate comb-over.

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  101. "It was a year ago that 13-year-old Jon Carmichael committed suicide, hanging himself in a barn near his home in Cleburne, Texas."

    I was expecting, "If you do not re-post this he will come and haunt/kill you in your sleep"

    ReplyDelete
  102. It was a year ago that 13-year-old Jon Carmichael committed suicide, hanging himself in a barn near his home in Cleburne, Texas.
    Monday, on the anniversary of his death, his parents, Jon Timothy and Tami Carmichael, filed a $20 million federal lawsuit against several officials at the school Jon attended, alleging they deliberately turned a blind eye to the bullying of their son, prompting his death.
    In the lawsuit, documents state that staff and students at The Joshua Independent School District observed several explicit acts of bullying, including Jon being thrown into a trash can "easily a few times a week," but did nothing to stop it.
    "He was placed upside down in a toilet bowl, and had his head flushed several times, at each occasion. These acts were observed by other students who failed to report the incident," the documents said. "Just prior to his death he was stripped nude, tied up and again placed into a trashcan."

    If you send this to:
    1 person: You will have a good thought
    5 people: You will get a kiss
    10 people: Your family will not die
    50 people: There will be World Peace

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  103. i hope 50 saw this, peace, faith, truth...

    I have a bleeding heart, then I come to this site and get excited about life seeing how driven you all are.

    ReplyDelete
  104. I thought the post writter showed alot of personal strength and is one of the highest functioning socio's that heard on this post.

    Why not come out to those closest to you when they already except the way you are?

    He thinks first before he acts and makes a better life for himself and one that he chooses for himself.

    Kind of like a hero. I'd like to hear more from him.

    ReplyDelete
  105. "He thinks first before he acts and makes a better life for himself and one that he chooses for himself."


    Hmmm, we would have to rule out Impulitivity if that was the case, which is a key characteristic of sociopaths.

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  106. Anything can be learned. Just means he's very intelligent. Or maybe he learned the hardway.

    Everything is doable but not everything is benificial.

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  107. No, not really with psychopaths it's impossible to put a lid on impulses not easy but impossible, psychopaths don't can't plan two days ahead.

    ReplyDelete
  108. "it's impossible to put a lid on impulses"

    I think the secret to impulse control is two fold. Divide the psyche in half. One half exercises discipline and impulse control. The other half allows for expression as an outlet. Best of both worlds.

    Can you relate?

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  109. Impulse control in regards to Sociopathy and Psychopathy is directly related to left-hemisphere size in the brain. It has little to nothing to do with will power. It's certainly not binary, but you're usually one or the other, it just depends how close to which extreme you are.

    I can understand where the reader is coming from, growing up in a strict church setting. But I've never felt shame, or sadness. It confused me growing up, never feeling bad about any of the 'sins' I did.

    Go figure.

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  110. How does one define sin, when there is not shame? And what is a good working definition of sin?

    Missing the mark?

    Who is mark?

    ReplyDelete
  111. The Internet Wiki God defines two kinds . . .

    Mortal sins (sacrilege, murder, mortal violence, devastating calumny, hatred)

    Sins of careless living (gluttony, casual or informal sexuality, constant play, inebriation, gambling) have been philosophically regarded by some as essential spice for "transcendent" living, even though these may be destructive in the context of human living (obesity, drunkenness, vagrancy, infidelity, child abandonment, criminal negligence

    Impulse control anyone?

    Yet a disciplined mind can move mountains. Yes?

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  112. That was my issue, Soulful. No matter what I did, no matter how shameful it was supposed to be, I never felt bad about it. Talk about a confusing childhood...

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  113. Do I need a violin or popcorn . . . go on . . .

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  114. I would like to ask our fearless poster a question.

    Serious . . .
    What was the reaction of your siblings or your wife when you bared your "truth?"

    Not so Serious, yet maybe more so . . .
    What will you do if one of your children turns out as confused as Note? Does knowledge bring clarity and its own consciousness? The human experiment continues.

    Fearless poster . . . I do admire the courage in your convictions.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Meduse yes the real oneMarch 29, 2011 at 11:17 PM

    Hi. I'm drunk at a bowling alley.

    Life is fucling fantastic thongs are about to blow up

    shits gonna be real

    ReplyDelete
  116. Blowing up thongs. Real shit. Medusa drunk.

    Sounds about right.

    ReplyDelete
  117. HEY EAT ME NOTABLE YOU KNOW YOU WANTY THONG

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  118. Annoying Stoner Goth Coochie? How could I possibly resist *rolls eyes&

    ReplyDelete
  119. Anon
    "Off topic question: Of the sociopaths here, have any of you studied a university/college degree or have a degree?

    I am aware that it isn't usual for us socios to stay committed to a task like that, but it does happen."

    I've managed to become a Veterinary student, dissections are great.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Zhawq, srsly fuck off man- I have to wade past your tremendously boring posts all the time. Fuckin' annoying.

    ReplyDelete

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