There is no escaping (yo)(yooo)There's no place to hide(yooo)(yooo)You scream "someone save me"(yo)(yooo)But they don't pay no mind( yooo) (yooo)(Good night)Good byeYour walkin down a horror corridorIt's almost 4 in the morninAnd your in a-NightmareIt's HORRIBLERight there's the coronerWaitin for youTo turn the cornerSo he can corner yaYour a gonerHe's on ta yaOut the corner of his corneaHe just saw you runAll you want is to restCause you can't run anymoreYour doneAll he wants is to kill you in front of an audienceWhile everybodyIs watchin in the party applauding itHere I sit while I'm caught up in deep thought againContemplating my next plot againSwallowin the KlonopinWhile I'm noddinIn and out on the autumn andIf the ramada innHoldin onto the pill bottle thenLick my finger and swirl it round the bottomAnd make sure I got all of itWake up naked at McDonald'sWithBlood all over meDead bodiesBehind the counterSHITGuess I must of just blacked out againNOT AGAIN(Chorus)It's 3 a.m in the morninPut my key in the door andBodies layin all of the floor andI don't remember how they got there but I guess I must of killed emKilled em(Ohhhhhhhhhh)Sitting nude in my living roomIt's almost noonI wonder what's on the tubeMaybe they'll show some boobsSurfing every channelUntil I find Hannah MontanaThen I reach for the aloe and lanalinBust all over the wall panel and dismantlinEvery candle on top of the fire placeMantalinGrab my flannel and my bandana thenKiss the naked mannequin man againYou can see him standin in myFront windowIf you look inI'm just a hooliganWho's used to usin hallicinogensCausin illusions againBrain contusions againCutting and bruising the skinRaise the scissors and pinsJesus when does it endPhases that I go throughDazed and I'm so confusedDays that I don't know whoGave these molecules tooMeWhat am I gone doHad the prodigal sonThe diabolical oneVery methodicalI slaughtered themI saidIt's 3 am in the morninPut my key in the door andBodies layin all of the floor andI don't remember how they got there but I guess I must of killed emKilled em(Ohhhhhhhhhh)She puts the lotion in the bucketHe puts the lotion on the skinOr else it gets the hose againShe puts the lotion in the bucketHe puts the lotion on the skinOr else it gets the hose againI duck and I slash slice and gashLast night was a blastI can't quite remember when IHad that much funOff a half pint of the jackMy last vic and a halfA flashlightUp Kim Kardashians assI remember the first timeI dismembered a family memberDecember I think it wasI was having drinks with my cuzAnd I wrapped himIn Christmas lightsPushed him into the stinkin tubCut him up into piecesThen just when I went to drink hisBloodI thought I outta drink this bath waterThat outta be funThat's when my days of serial murder man slaughter begunThe sight of blood excites meThat might be an artery sonYour blood curdling screamsJust don't seem to bother me noneIt's 3 amAnd here I comeSo you should probably runA secret passage way around hereMan there's got to be oneOh no there's probably noneHe can scream all that he wantsTop of his lungsIt aint no stoppin me from choppin him up(up)(Chorus)Cause it's 3 a.m in the morninPut my key in the door andBodies layin all of the floor andI don't remember how they got there but I guess I must of killed emKilled em(Ohhhhhhhhhh)I saidIt's 3 am in the morninPut my key in the door andBodies layin all of the floor andI don't remember how they got there but I guess I must of killed emKilled em(Ohhhhhhhhhh)
Hahahahahaha this place is getting worse
ye thats why alot of the regulars have disappeared. we used to have the cool S's talking about how awesome they are, and all of the bad things they do. now we just have shit conversations about pointless bullshit.
stop posting all of these videos and get down to the good shit. try one about the so called "flat lined stare" us sociopaths are known for or perhaps more in depth the anger
i just beat the living shit out of some guy at my club who disrespected me and then i sold sum coke. i'm a god.
i just defrauded an old lady and then got drunk and laid. i'm the greatest person ever and i don't care if u say otherwise coz your all worthless and i wouldn't care if you wre dying in front of me.
You're in denial, Misanthrope.
Lol@anon. Those were obviously impersonations you idiot.
Anon: I was attempting humor. Faggot. Nut jobs get to laugh too, you know.
speakin of jobs, Nj, get to work, you lazy pig
Just what I needed, Thanks, slave driver
Don't get me started, Bitch
I know, I just laughed at you, NutSucker.WV: stuper
Killers all of you!
is this was socio self-destruction is. all the socios are bored shitless, lol.
socios had enough of themselves... c'mon, lie for me, seduce, pump my empath ego...
No he's mine!
pathetic. Like six graders talking about sex.
did i make you Wet?
I have seen some amount of talk about turning weaknesses into strengths. Who has found ways to do this? What was the weakness and how did it manifest before? Then how did you turn it to your advantage? What was the process and what are the results and how has it affected your life? What would you suggest to an empath who would like to use their empathy to a greater advantage rather than it being such a drain on their energy?
ha ha you asked before and nobody gave a shit you dumb bitch. we still don't.
that's not true, mean ass, there are people here who care, not just the likes of you.sites like this is a good example of how a weakness can be turned into something nurturing. ME managed to bring out a lot of good from a lot of no-gooders.if the weakness is being an empath instead of seeing that as a draining curse you can use it as an option and stop your emphatic draining experiences on its tracks. you can use it to diagnose real quickly when the drain will start and simply block it and do something useful instead. now, see if you can tell a few examples of when the drain starts and let's come up with some solutions. i am sure our socio friends will jump in and suggest some good, some funny, some awful advice.
"ME managed to bring out a lot of good from a lot of no-gooders."I have seen nothing but ugliness pouring out of socio's here(or the ones that I believe to be truly sociopathic, I should say).
yes, that's what i see too, but till now that was all hidden from me. i am seeing a lot of truth out there, for free.
good and evil, both exist in the same person... try to stay on the good side of the evil, and try to avoid the evil side of good.. this site definitely inputs into that process, and helps us see both. good is flaunted so easily at us but we should appreciate any info that comes from the inner workings of a sociopath or a narcissist. we all are on the spectrum of good and evil one way or the other...
I'm wondering more about other's experiences, the weaknesses, what they were and how they were used to an advantage. Personally, my empathy levels allow me to "get" what is going through others' heads a lot of the time. However, I often feel compelled to help people even though I know my time, effort, money and emotions are being tossed in a black hole because the other person is in such miserable shape that they are utterly self absorbed and no amount of effort on my behalf will make an impact that ultimately is reciprocated. I've managed to resist the urge to waste myself on lost causes, but how to turn my bleeding heart into an ADVANTAGE rather than just stopping banging my head against the wall? I'm currently back together with the ex I was certain was a sociopath, but now see he has the capacity for empathy, it's just very limited. He fits an incredible amount of aspd criteria, but is now 40 (looks late 20s) and has mellowed. There are issues, but after dating one after another guys who are way too in touch with their emotions this one is a breath if fresh air in a lotta ways. Many things I have learned here have helped new understand him better. The crushing boredom, the masks, the dismay at "how to act"or the reactions of others, his quiet assessments when he first meets people, always sitting facing the door when we go out. His cold reserve at times. Also his ability to be a mind-reader in bed, a fount of trivia and amusement, the dropped reserve after a few drinks, the difficulty articulating more subtle emotions, 2 marriages, arrest records and numerous jobs (all more than 5 years ago). I want to be an even better match for him than I am now. I'm learning to be much more controlled in my reactions to things and watch my emotionally-driven talking. It's hard, but impulsively emotional outbursts are really damaging to my goals.
Amelia, just remember he's back because there were alot of things about you he likes.
I hope that's the case, meaning he is back because he likes you, not because you're the only one who is willing to take him back. now that i read so much about narcissism i get uneasy when i hear someone talk about spending their time for helping others when it does no good for them. there lies a certain level of denial that this is how you may be getting your narcissistic supply. it's interesting to see that he's already positioned you to want to change for his needs, not for yours. narcs are known to not do what really is best for themselves, the world is just never returning what they deserve (not to mention they actually like being around socios because socios are ready to make them feel useful by using them.so, what you are getting from your weakness, amelia, is a boy friend, not a man, but a socio boy stuck in adolescence. what can i say, enjoy as best while he is still around. you can always go into severe depression later.
Everyone imagines themselves as they'd like to be but they're not strong enough to actually become that. I don't have to imagine because I already am exactly the type of person that I want to be. "how to turn my bleeding heart into an ADVANTAGE rather than just stopping banging my head against the wall?"If helping people for no reason is what gives you a thrill then you may as well do it. You already know that your choice of targets is the problem so start thinking with your head instead of your heart. Choose people who are more worthwhile and who you think will actually benefit from your help. Leave the lost causes in the dirt because thats where they belong. The good samaritan story would have been pretty shit if the guy had wandered straight back out onto the highway and had the shit kicked out of him again. Why do you let those hopeless fuckers undermine all your hard work?
It's not one sided. He gets that the things that led to our breaking up are his issues. He also doesn't have to come back to me because no one else wants him. Not at all. it's the first relationship I've been in with someone I don't feel sorry for, who I'm not a mother or a therapist. He has put a lot of the past behind him, but is working on some of the emotional puzzle pieces. He's not asking me to do anything, actually. I am just not going to be one of those people who thinks that if someone else has issues that I don't have to work on my own shit. I have spent the better part if the last decade doing what I want when I want and answering to no one. Without question I'm the more flexible and accommodating party. I'm ok with that, my preferences are not so rigid. And he has been showing a willingness to work to be with me, too. So, while I see a large amount of similarities with NPD and ASPD, I also see more. After we broke up I was quick to slap the socio label on (as many are, imo), but some time and distance had given me some objectivity. NPD? Eh.... I dunno, he recognizes his faults and never acts like he thinks himself better than me....anyway, y'all don't need to be even more bored by this...
Why do some broken hearts go to SW and others go to love fraud?
we meant you are the npd, not him. looks like you did not get much narcssistic supply from here.
Misanthrope, yes, thank you. As I get older I'm more able to assess exactly who is more worthwhile. I have a posse of folks who would do anything for me, so there are benefits. I have learned to say no. I have stopped giving more than I can afford, financially, emotionally, etc, and I've told people off who I have helped out and who just get back out there and do the same again, and have cut them off.
Wet- Some want to blame, some want to understand. Some want unconditional support and to know they are ok, some want to know what really happened. Some want to feel good and some prefer truth no matter how it makes them feel.
Love Fraud vs. SW?It depends if one sees their self as a victim or as just as someone who did not see things clearly.A broken heart hurts in both cases.
Typecity, the people I have helped out in the past have often been people with whom I have been in some kind of romantic or quasi-romantic circumstances. In the last couple of years I have been turned off by men who need me that much. And I have learned to ask to have my needs met a lot more. As far as overgrown adolescents go.... I don't wanna procreate and I like going to see rock bands, drinking in dive bars and watching asian horror movies, listening to punk, most of my clothes are from the junior's department and my job lends itself to that kind of lifestyle. I just want to buy shoes, read books, watch movies, go to trivia nights and make sure that someone sober drives home. So, honestly, a really grown up lifestyle doesn't suit me anyway. I like being responsible with my finances, and I hope to develop a relationship with someone who "gets" me. I work for myself but plan to have my own store-front business in about 2 years, but my passtimes and future plans will include a lot of stability, but with all the trappings of young adulthood. Honestly, I think he's a good match for me. Neither of us wants kids, pets or a yard to care for. We like to drink, we like similar music, art, film and books. Aside from him being a vegetarian we are pretty compatible.
Are you wealthy, Amelia?
I act haughty but underneath it all I'm a child.
Anon- NPD and me? well. I suppose anything is possible. I spent the first 18 years of my life with really awful self esteem and no direction. then I found my calling in life and moved to NYC and learned what I was made of. I grapple with guilt over my success when so many of my friends are struggling artists and musicians and I'm debt-free with a savings account, a ROTH-IRA and steady income and a flexible schedule. "The Dream" is hard work and less glamorous than one would think, but I'm living a life I have always wanted to live and created with a decade of career diligence. I'm not sure why I still feel bad when other people aren't doing as well or at least have some stability.... But I just wish everyone was getting what they want from life. More and more, though, I'm seeing that they aren't putting into it what they should be to get what they want. They spend a lot of effort and time investing in ill-advised areas and neglecting the things that will get them what would make them truly satisfied. Maybe I could just be annoyed that they complain about life being shitty whilst shooting themselves in the foot, but.... some part of me just thinks(thought) that my help would make a difference. THAT is narcissistic, I suppose. That the presence and help of someone with their shit more together could influence a positive change in a loser. Boy, I'm just RIFE with NPD. I know that when someone looks out for me in even a small way that I am very touched by it and I am compelled to return a kindness with the same when the opportunity arises. I guess it's very egotistical to think such a thing may happen with someone else.
amelia,looks like you should be the one giving advice not seeking. it's always about balancing. you choose a lot of what you like and sometimes some of the other things you want really don't mash with what's going on.. then, you just let that part go. it's always a good bet to go after what makes you happy today. it's proven by researchers that supposed future happiness after giving up so much from today's happiness eventually gives a sense of 'i don't care for this sort of shit anymore.' meaning people are not really a good judge of what will make them happy in the future, so you may as well go for what makes you happy today. sounds like you're doing fine. i like your name too.
Anon- I would not consider myself wealthy. I'm debt-free and make enough to not worry about money and start my own small business when I get around to starting the massive amount of work that goes into it. I do not have any resources other than my own income like family money or anything like that.
An NPD feels shame instead of guilt, they can't feel genuine guilt.
typecity, Historically I have found myself to be the advice-giver. I rarely seek it out, but am trying to look for more opinions so that I can better assess a broader scope of experiences. When it comes to happiness I try to balance immediate gratification with long-term stability. I have succeeded in every area of life except for romance. So I think that I do need to work on my choices in that arena. The big eye-opener that my choices are maturing was just having this experience where this beeper guy was weeping in my arms recently. I was repelled by it. In the past I would have thought "Oh, he's opening up to me, how beautiful" instead I had an eyeroll and said "UGH! Are we really having to do this right now?" He and his gf had split up and I let him come stay with me because he had no where to go. (1-yes, if he had nowhere to go there were reasons for that, I know 2-I was not involved with him sexually at that time, though I had been in the past 3-he cut himself pretty badly and bled all over my new and nice futon when I was away working for a week and I let him stay at my place, I decided that was it, no more losers on the couch) In the past I would have gotten involved, started taking care of him full-time, etc. This time I told him nicely to get out, and get his shit together and call me when he did because I thought he was just wasting an opportunity to change his unhappy situation. If he'd spent as much time looking for a job and the like as he did engaging his ex-gf in chaos and back-and-forth bullshit he would already have a new life. He hooked up with some other girl and is now leeching off her. But they are IN LOVE, so he's happy again. I'm grossed out by it. I'm not finding that rampant romance=happiness appealing anymore. I know relationships are not about that temporary state. I fall in love on a daily basis, but so temporary, it's rare that I really solidly LIKE someone and feel I don't tire too much of their bullshit on a day-in day-out basis.
Lol your not a narc, trust me.
I rarely feel ashamed. I don't feel ashamed of my accomplishments, I feel guilty, though, for doing well when others are doing poorly. I have never thought about the difference, I'm proud of where I am, what I've done. I'm not perfect (hello, haven't done my taxes in 2 years!) but I'm pleased with how far I've come as a person in my adulthood.
Amelia wrote at: 11:22"I have seen some amount of talk about turning weaknesses into strengths . . . how did you turn it to your advantage? . . . . What would you suggest to an empath who would like to use their empathy to a greater advantage rather than it being such a drain on their energy?"I feel you have achieved that already. Your curiosity, ability to ask great questions, hard work is your advantage.Keep it up sweetie. ;-)
Ugh. Sorry. I don't know how to be straight to the point. I type stream-of-consciousness and it's really annoying. Adam-I know I'm not a narc, I was only being sarcastic because of anon's accusations. typecity- thanks for the compliments on the name, it was my great-grandma's.
The thing is, I'm really curious as to what kinds of weaknesses people have had that they have flipped to be a strength. i guess that was always Ukan's bag and he's not around to answer specifically. I was just hoping someone else could answer. I really hadn't intended for this to be some dissertation about me. (my NPD acting up again!) ;)
Your not a narc you retard, narcs don't feel guilty because they are ahead, they love it, it adds to their superiority, you are probably narcissistic, NPD is severe and affects everything, I'm a perfect example of NPD.
These whores need to get off this blog, their warmness is making me sick, were are all the hateful ones gone?
*yawn* Adam, it's dumbfucks like you that ran all the interesting sociopathic types off this blog.
And for the last time, I WAS KIDDING ABOUT ME HAVING NPD (in reference to that jackhole Anon that was quasi-accusing me of having it), JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
Ha ha, you are all beneath me, how old are you 30? I'm 18 and I have the world at my feet, you are going to be working for me some day, your time passed you by and you amounted to nothing.
wow... is this the same sweet amelia, or a raging maniac? i'm not that warm anymore, girl. hellooooo
Who is at your feet? Your fat aunt? Her cat? You are totally full of shit, Adam. I have to turn away offers when I move because too many people wanted to help. If you were bleeding in a ditch the Good Samaritan would spit on you. You haven't got shit at 18 but a sealed juvenile record, a family that's on the verge of disowning you and half a desperate prayer that you even make it to 30.
typecity, I'm not one dimensional. Adam is amusing for about a half-dozen posts and then he's fucking tiresome. Remember when I said I don't waste my efforts on worthless people anymore once they have been identified as worthless? yeah, that. There are a shit-ton of people on here bitching about how this place sucks. Well, a bunch of trolls came on here maybe to purposely turn this place into a dump so that some of the other socio blogs would flourish or some other sneaky reason. The posts are weak, people say, well, there's one almost every day how much crap about sociopathy can there be? I kind of think that seeing the interactions between socios and neurotypicals/empaths on here is a hugely interesting thing. There's enough realness in the attitude of most of the peeps who come here and drop the mask enough for the rest of us to "get it" that it makes for some cool interactions that rarely occur in the wild, yanno? But the same brats who seem to bemoan how boring it is are the same pests that make it a drag to be here in the first place. But I love the original "didhediedguy".
Amelia, as always read your rant ;). Still thinking about Soul's interesting reply to my comment ~ fulfillment from pets & hobbies. Is that how it is with regard to your tweaking things with your guy? Btw in your case it does sound constructive. It doesn't seem to have the usual needy vicarious shit that most of us have yet to overcome. All the best in your hobby! ;)
Amelia, you sound awfully familiar...
I know who you are and I'm going to fuck you up.
Gag, Thanks, I get you on the pets and hobbies thing. I mean. I guess we are "supposed" to assign a deeper meaning to people, but.... honestly, people refer to their pets as their children and I often referred to my parents' business as their 4th child. So why not look at people as pets or relationships as hobbies? I frequently say that I think relationships should be looked at more like a career. Not just a job, but a real career where you meet obstacles with problem solving, devote a lot of time to it even when you don't feel like it and are occasionally able to take a vacation or sick day so that you can come back recovered or refreshed with a renewed attitude. My personal career is a creative calling in life and I have found it to be very rewarding. I have worked long hours, made a lot of sacrifices and have been rewarded for doing so. I have also made mistakes and learned from them and tried to avoid making the same mistakes over and over. So, for those of you that have dealt with pets and beloved hobbies.... that's kinda what I feel with a relationship. A good one anyhow. There's more to it, another personality to configure into the equation, more intimate rewards and sex, of course! :P But I think that working on a relationship like I do my rewarding career is a good approach for me. There is something about this guy that makes me want to put in an effort, I think that he challenges me in ways that are good for me and that there are rewards that appeal to me to be reaped from a mutual pairing off. And amazing sex.
Anon, you sound familiar too! Like every other faceless, nameless big-internet-dick small-real-life-dick troll loser who gets too big for his britches every time he connects to the interwebs.
Amelia, one of my old weaknesses was violent volatility. It got me into a lot of trouble, and left me enough scars to remember the "good old days". I'm still volatile, and violent (though rarely violent) but I took that anger and channeled it into something of an aura of menace.People are often more cowardly in fear of violence, than when the actual act occurs. Will he bust my lip? Crack my ribs? Send me to the hospital? Kill me? All those questions swirling through someone's mind is a deterrent and cows them. Actually fighting them though, and all that fear is replaced by survival instincts unless they are neurotic to the bone.On top of that, I like to see someone scared of me after they've earned my anger. It will make them think twice about crossing me, or even getting close to that line for that matter.I didn't stamp out the weakness, I just figured out a way to use it as a strength.
Note- That's what I'm talking about. How did you channel this into your new(er) display of menace? Did you just decide to do it and *poof* it happened? Or was it gradual, at first you resisted popping off at the slightest thing and slowly managed to funnel the energy out of "go buck wild" to "look like you will go buck wild@ slightest provocation" or something else? Was there an incident that provoked the change or were you maybe having an introspective period that led you to the conclusion that your violent streak was doing more harm than good? Do you feel that age was a factor or did the intensity of the violence take you down a road where the toll seemed too high?
Part IIt's hard for me to properly explain that answer, because it has been a very long time since the transition began. I've managed to stay out of jail and prison, but I have had run ins with the law. I remember the first time I was hand-cuffed. The cop was being a dick, and my wrists were being torn at, and the cuffs were on too tight. I was on my knees, and he had me dead to rights, and was laughing when I tried to move around. I felt powerless, but unlike the times I had been powerless before and broke free to set a rampage loose, I seriously couldn't do anything. It was very sobering.In my mind, a dial changed to a different setting. It was no longer simply, "I don't give a fuck what I do and what price I have to pay" to "I don't give a fuck what I do and the price I have to pay, but I don't ever want to be some pig's back seat bitch". So after that, I scaled back on the public fights, the public crimes, and anything else that could land me back to that position, on my knees and in cuffs, struggling to move with some fat bastard laughing at my futility.
Part III didn't so much as learn a lesson as I did realize a fate I could avoid, and so that's what I did. I still stuck with the same people, and through the years, the same type of people, and did the same things, but I had to be more bark and less bite at the drop of a hat. Sure, I'd get my tasty morsels here and there, no debt unpaid, but I had to seem more threatening to keep people in check, as opposed to being a big dumb brute.That's how people like to look at you when that's all you do. You're an obstacle at that point, a body. Not a threat. Not something to fear. Just a reality they have to face.So I kept my word on a few less than savory promises, and my rep changed from a short fuse to someone not to fuck with, or pay back with interest. My time, my terms, my settlement. It didn't always go down that way, but enough to make the difference. Sometimes you can't just let your pride be spit on, no matter how advantageous it may be.I hope that answered your question.
I get that entirely. The consequences outweighed your satisfaction. I wish I was as good at telling stories as you. They are very vivid and well detailed. My thought organization skills can be very poor.
Yes. That gives me some further insight into what you did and why. And it's very practical. I'm going to look at how my own weaknesses cause me discomfort or pain or consequences that I really wish to avoid and figure out how I can fulfill the desires I have or recreate those aspects into something that is more constructive. I've already gone from being a bit of a doormat to someone who can be depended on when the chips are down, but if you want to stay in her good graces do not take advantage of them. So, I think I may have overcome that one for the most part. I'm known as generous, but not a pushover. And it's paid off. A lot, in myriad ways. But, yes, I think that looking at what road my actions may be leading me down, for good or for ill, even things that seem incidental.... it can be very hard for me to remember that the nice thing to do isn't always the best thing to do. I have struggled with enabling people's bad behaviors in the past and I've been working on being tougher.
What you are asking for is keys to mastery. You are a hungry one. Focus and how you pay attention is primary. A personal example for me is in the mastery of emotional mood swings.If an emotion arises such as anger, sorrow or joy. I sense into like a frequency (like a radio band wave). This is a frequency which can be manipulated, either expanded or dissolved. Imagine a volume control.As I do this process I find it playful. My weakness of emotional instability becomes a strength in emotional modulation. And you can do this with others. Such as moving an opponent's anger into humor. A friends sorrow into joy. Emotional gymnastics builds resiliency.I worked as a court mediator for a while and power has its own laws and dynamics. A con artist or sales person always works its magic in the realm of emotion.
My focus and attention sucketh mightily. i have lousy willpower, and am disappointing at things that involve strategy and manipulation. Perhaps this is where some of my admiration of some aspects of ASPD come in. High-functioning socios seem so good at being calculating. I am much more adept at making people feel better or at least getting a laugh when they are down, but out of just being genuinely sympathetic, a practical problem-solver and occasionally witty. So I have to start from the bottom and learn more focus and more self-contained control. Boo. I guess I'm working on some of that kind of stuff right now anyway. Soul- I am hungry. I'm finding myself at a maturation turning point. I want to let go of some of the more harmfully immature aspects of my desires and compulsions. I have just made some major life changes and am working on several aspects of self-improvement. I admire the discipline that is exerted to accomplish certain things and I have lived largely undisciplined and disorganized for as long as I can remember. It's tougher to deal with and learn these things at my age than if I had them either by nature or by design as a child, but I am finding myself at a point where suddenly they matter.
You are a perfectionist. Lighten up!
I really appreciate the efforts y'all have made in answering some of my questions. I feel pretty confidant that the specific examples make more sense to me than the concept overview alone. I only commandeered the comments section today because it seemed pretty quiet in here.
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Soulfulpath- i don't think I'm a perfectionist at all! That's kinda funny. I just think that I need to look at some things a little deeper and with more insight. I'm coming across as not "light" right now, but.... this is just one topic.
Soulfulpath-Manipulation without focus is...what? I may manipulate things, but not intentionally or consciously.
Manipulation without focus creates results. And what is manipulation anyway but resource management.And you manage quite well. Again your hunger seeks more. Ambition is kick ass.
Touche', Soulfulpath, results are results, aren't they? I seem to be able to accomplish everything except in the romance realm. being awesome at life and being single is starting to feel like cooking for one. It's a lot of work and there's no one to share the work with or the results and I have to do all the cleaning up by myself afterward. I want more than "to manage quite well". Ambitious? Yes, but I combat laziness, disorganization and a certain level of obliviousness when it comes to certain things. thank you for your kind words and input. I'm having moments of feeling very discouraged, but they never last long. Words of encouragement always help!
All this self-empowering motivational crap is putting me to sleep. I don't need an Ambien, I just need you gals.Fact: You have weaknessesFact: You can use some of them as strengthsFact: You can be a complete fucking fool and somehow make it to old ageFact: Saying "Fact:" at the start of a statement is fun and empowering. The authority of its tone makes me tingle.Fact: I'm going to see what's on the tele. Carry on.
oh, I can focus on things like.... a task at hand. I am not ADD or anything. I do work that requires a lot of skill and focus to do well and concentration. But I have never been able to have the focus or discipline to implement major life changes consciously. Recently there is a shift I think, though. I've learned that doing one small thing at a time instead of trying to tackle a huge task is easier. I wanted to start being more fit and I found a friend who knows more about it than me who is my workout partner and trainer. He's hilarious and cartoon-like and cusses out the elliptical machine so it makes going to the gym enjoyable. I know that he is one of the only people that can compel me to the gym; if I didn't show for an appt he'd come to my house, break in and jump on my bed and call me an asshole until I dragged myself there. I work out of town every month, I've always been a slob, so now i have a girl come clean when I am away, this means I only have to keep my shit straight in three week bites instead of "forever". I'm learning how to chop things up into mouthfuls I can chew instead of trying to swallow things whole.
Notable you aren't funny.
Good night Note! I try to keep the (debatably) interesting and deviant behaviors I engage in off the interwebs!! the more boring I become the more content I feel. It's kind of sad for me to realize this. All that ruckus I ran to and created seems so unnecessary now.... but I guess there are moments when I miss it!
Anon, Note is incredibly funny. That's the thing about humor, though, it's very subjective.
AND Note- Just read your blog about beepers. I married a beeper male(now divorced after he lied about being a jesus-lover) . I have dated at LEAST 3 others. 6 cutters total, so maybe more than 3. And, oh man. It was like an endless fixer-upper. So appealing to the unhealthy part of me! And just sooooo appealing in general. Despite nothing to really recommend him in any concrete way. But....such immersion. Spot on blog.
Why are you using the word beeper? Note are you talking to yourself again? I wouldn't be surprised, you pathetic bastard.
Because I like cute nicknames for things.
Haw haw haw
At least the spaces are beginning to fill up with more interesting stuff. Does anyone have anything worthwhile to share a little about the art or 'mechanics' of manipulation in human relationships? I'm good, very good at manipulating material things, or pets (back to subject of hobbies), sometimes I can persuade or get into the interaction but usually only when it's pretty obvious what the other person is obsessing about, that I happen to have and hype myself, and them, enough to believe in a trade. From what I've just said, it doesn't take a genius to figure out the sorts of participants in my 'assert' mode. When it comes to smarter? or people in 'normal cognitive' conditions, I just laugh at all their jokes and play attentive to the point of accepting any outcomes which as you all know, will have an internal price if my expectations are not subjugated successfully. Does that mean the manipulation I know of are at best, only of the sneaky and win only at no cost (bordie or bully) kind? I won't be arguing with those who think that it is a dearth of 'human experience' to justify meaningful relationships like that.
Fun manipulation is all about subtlety. You hear someone mention something two weeks ago and you want to run shoulders with them, so you obsess and research and know everything you could possibly need to besides the fine print minutia. Then when you have a chance, you make a small, insignificant reference to it like it is no big deal, and then it is THEM who hop onto the topic of their own obsession. It eliminates the suspicion they might have about you and your interest in it, or them, and also makes them think you have some off-the-bat common ground. Very effective.My mind has a great knack for remembering really obscure crap stored away in the ol' archives, and I use that to my advantage. You just have to be careful with how you present it, otherwise people might think you an obsessive creep for having such an odd memory for small things that can go back years.Also, laughing at all their jokes and going along for the ride makes you look like scenery. You're just another body taking up space. You have to differentiate yourself from the pack, otherwise you'll just be an obscure Yes Man, and they'll want to take advantage of that. Assert yourself in opposition on small things, but go along with the big ones, and show them some level of disappointment when opportune, so their heads don't get too big. Make them work for those laughs, if you will.Off to watch some gory Asian horror film :P Cheers for now.
I bet you're even younger than 18 Adam. Stay in school.
Says "Misanthrope" I came out of that stage three years ago pal, send me your spair anarchy poster.
OK. What's your adress?
Why? I don't want to have to shoot dead another asshole invader.
It's not invading if you never wake up.
I could try to enjoy the rides and the variety of sceneries,.. and I might find the jokes funny and the views interesting if I keep changing the crowds and try my best to avoid fools and assasins. I'm pack intolerant. Largely due to the fact that it's just hard or I don't have the patience to filter out the necessary subtleties to blend in. That pretty much says it for me at the moment. The irony is not lost on me that that with things other than people, I would willingly incarcerate myself into the prison of obscure details. Cheers!
My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood. We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big fucking red mark on her forehead.
I learned that I should trust my instincts. I have them, I just sometimes don't listen to them. Like when that horney dude Kesu was trying to get with Bella after we logged off a couple of days ago. I had this weird feeling about him but I thought he was cute and we had a pleasant chat. We went for a drive for some takeout. First he tried to brush up against my breast when he put the seat belt on and then he wouldn't share dessert. Hmm...well, see, I will have let the breast rub go because that could have been an accident. Who knows? ..Anyway, that's neither here nor there. The point is that there are little things that I store in the back of my memory banks that I don't pay enough attention to, and then I get confused by everything and vacillate back and forth. I drive myself crazy. So I end up opting for what feels right in the moment. It's just more intense and straightforward, All that thinking just messes up the good time.
So what happened with Kesu?Was he a total jerk?
Oh Hey, Dina. Glad someone's listening. You know I never found anything more about him. He was bored at the end of the date, I think. Or maybe I'm projecting. I don't know. He's cute but I think he he has like tons of gfs. Seems to get around.
LoL Sick joke guy!
Well I'm off to knap before a big day. So long sickos. And have a nice Saturday!
Hi, im a pedo.I really didnt know what sociopaths were and their difference with psychopaths. Reading this blog and seeing the author's tolerance and acceptance of pedophiles, makes me extremely sympathetic with the sociopaths' cause, whatever that is.We dont choose what we are. Be it a pedo or a sociopath, we didnt choose it. Luckily for you, sociopaths are not even as half demonized as pedophiles are. There is even some television shows that portraits them in a positive light. So good for you.I think that all the rejected, all the parias, all the excluded from the 'normal' society should unite and fight for their rights. I completely support any group that is excluded from society for being different (zoos, necros, pedos, "socios" :P). Sadly, not even this groups like pedophiles, who are extremely isolated.One last thing: http://www.sociopathworld.com/p/portrait-of-sociopath.html"They commit over half of all violent crimes and are 3-4 times more likely to re-offend. They are almost entirely refractory to rehabilitation. These are not nice people."Reading this makes me wonder why you have a link to such piece of crap. Dont you think that a young sociopath (a child or teenager) might feel that they are monsters, by reading that? Do as you wish, but i dont think is a positive mesage to give to other people like you. Best wishes, it would be great if you write me a line or two!
To Note . . . the tele? There you go with the British reference. Your fact list was a tickle."Fact: You can be a complete fucking fool and somehow make it to old age"Dear ole' Albert Einstein has this to say . . . "Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction."
I'd like to point that girl in the video in the direction of Me. What IS it with you socios and your frickin teeth.
It's a vampire thing.
huh? Oh in the "We Made You" video. - WowI love the new layout. : )
Oh I get it. Well that is a downer. Here I was thinking that you all were perfect. Uggh. Get to the dentist! How will you be able to bite me :p with no teeth?
Watched M last night, criminals trying to prosecute the pedo psycho.. So, pedo, trust me we don't fucking like you here man. We may kill animals, people but we discriminate against pedo psychos. Come out in the open and see what happens. Women here would love to be with socios but not pedos, get it? You are not one of us.
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