Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Who wants to date a sociopath: narcissists

As promised, here are some results from our sociopath inspired personal ad. Who wants to date a sociopath? Well, narcissists for one. This was a response from the London ad for women seeking men (which was the most popular ad, speculation on why later):
Your add appeals to me because I do extreme sports too. I shoot guns, just hand guns, at a shooting range. Theyre a lot more efficient than swords :) Anyway, I think most guys just mistake being beautiful for being interesting too. Well, to start I guess, im intelligent both conventionally and unconventionally. But I also know how to be quirky and im usually easily amused, which seems to be infectious. I love cars, mostly exotics and luxury cars, and fortunately Ive learned enough about them to carry on a conversation. I also like motorcycles, mostly just sport bikes though. I have a Ninja 500r, im still learning , but the thing is so awesome and fast and dangerous, its incredible. I work with kids and for some reason they love me. Theyre quite amusing and I always come home feeling like I made a difference, which is nice. As a matter of fact Im at work right now, on my phone, so I shpould get back to torturing the children. :) what about have to have something interesting about you.
I'm not too surprised by the narcissist connection. Narcissists wouldn't be turned off by sociopaths' lack of empathy because the narcissist is probably too wrapped up in himself to notice. Narcissists would, however, appreciate common interests, like this guy who has a love of handguns, swords, and fast and dangerous motorcycles. And kids. I think that's the most disturbing thing about his response.


  1. Why disturbed by the kids reference? In what way are you disturbed? Narcissists aren't necessarily bad with kids, especially if they believe caring for them enhances a particular image of themselves. Narcissists want to be told they're important and making a difference - you'd be surprised how many are drawn to carer positions, in my experience.

  2. Yeah, I don't see what's wrong with torturing children.
    I mean you have to torture someone, and children are rather lightweight and portable!

  3. I find that there are two types of narcissist: the smart ones, and the dumb ones. The dumb ones act exactly how everyone expects them to: they talk arrogantly, act superior and generally need people to admire them.
    Smart narcissists, on the other hand, are hard to distinguish from other people apart from how they often have a lot more friends who constantly admire them. They seem like sociopaths when they manipulate people, but when you get to know them enough, you find out that they really do have empathy, social inhibitions and instinctive knowledge of social relationships, although somewhat of a lack of those in comparison to an ordinary person.
    I find them to be quite rare, really, and like the ordinary narcissist, they lack any kind of depth of conversation and they put themselves before logic, meaning they act like an empath with a morality centred around themselves. I still find it annoying when I mistake a sociopath for one of these people.

  4. Ah, nicely stated! Recently a narcissist, whom I've known and observed for years, tried to "woo" me. I found her equally endearing, but only because I was fond of her coldness I guess you would say. I watched her for years emotionally torment her "interests" but, of course I wasn't worried about being hurt. Either way, I always plan ahead and printed out all her little love e-mails...those came in handy when she decided to try and lie and manipulate me, as I knew she would eventually. Ah, it was a grand day when I ruined her and cried her little eyes out, having to admit to her current at the time "lover"/ex-husband, the truth. Amusingly, she screwed her self...I just played her game against her. Most fun I've had in awhile...she's not so smug anymore...I enjoy the glares she sends my way.

    1. I can totally relate to that. I got caught up, lured into a vicious sociopath cycle..the sleek, habitual player,(love/sex addict the wolf in sheeps clothing.. but learned quickly how to play the game and even better then he was. He played and preyed on the vulnerable, the weakest of the pack, the "break up" girl anddivorced mom. I was played/burned and I was angry and vengeful..My vengeance led to finding the truth about him, documenting it, writing a story about him and my experience....It took three years and hours of conspiring, many people involved in the writing process and the end, I realized the truth of the matter was, there is nothing you can do for these people or about their behavior but to stay clear of them. It was an emotional risk to be involved in it but for writing purpose, fruitful in the end

  5. keep in mind not all sociopaths are extreme narcissists. also, try thinking about relationships from the sociopaths point of view, how frustrating would it be for them if they genuinely do want that experience?

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