Saturday, November 15, 2008

She was asking for it

Some people are attracted to sociopaths for the very traits that make them sociopaths, then complain when they suddenly realize what a horrible situation they've gotten themselves into. Here is a sociopath dishing out some reality to yet another "victim" of sociopathic "love fraud."
As a sociopath myself I can confidently tell you just because someone has those traits does not mean they're a sociopath.


Have you ever dated the type of guy that left you constantly waiting by the phone with an uneasy sick feeling in the pit of your stomach?

Or a guy who made you feel bad about yourself, but for some reason you couldn't leave him? (Of course, that same guy, at times, also made you feel like you were the only person on this planet--you know, that "hot-cold" type).

And have you ever walked into a club and found yourself so attracted to one particular guy, you felt like you were in a trance and literally couldn't stop making eyes with him?

Might mean there's something wrong with you!


  1. I've got a new sociopath for your dream team, Aron Burr. Look him up, I think you'll like him.
    -This is Draxious

  2. She was NOT asking for it. This facebook wall-post does have a point, but it's not what it aims. If attracting is not wrong, then being attracted is not wrong either. This only shows that (though as clear as it seems) it's hard to differentiate between sociopaths and hot-guys-who-grew-up-to-be-a-jerk. Not everyone is good and there is no such rule as everyone should be. There are numerous types of "bad guys" and sociopaths are taking a lot blame for the rest of the kinds.

  3. Well, she probably was, in a way-if she was self-aware, she'd know she was. Speaking as one who has seen those masochistic traits in me myself-yes the seeker in me thrills/gets addicted to those highs and lows-I link this to my earliest experiences with someone who is definitely not sociopathic (he is a good friend now) but who says he was "just being a bastard, not sadistic!" (so anon above, true, those bad guy traits may not be monopolised by sociopaths, only more emphasized in them). In a conversation with said friend (from whom I couldnt walk away for close to 6 years)I was telling him I cannot really blame him for things because I was adult (well both of us were teens for a part of the time), I should have known what I was at and walked long ago, but the question is, does that make him a LESSER bastard (for capitalising on that weakness)?

    I NEVER get that logic: why is blame a whole from which apportioned? (" He left that wallet lying around, he was asking for it" "She was dressed provocatively and walking in a high-crime area alone at night, she was asking for it") For sure, something is 100% wrong with these women, a weakness that needs to be fixed, but something is 100% wrong with people who want to abuse that weakness as well, another weakness that needs to be fixed. Does the one reduce the other?


  4. I can think about non-masochistic reason to date a sociopath, it's like loving dangerous animals, like wolves, tigers, snakes, dragons, etc, you would like to have them as your companion, for protection and to be able to admire them from a closer distance, to touch them, but of course you don't want to get eaten!
    If I date one it would be because I find him interesting and I want first row seat to see what he does. That would make me a risk taker or stupid, but not a masochist.
    Other people would do it because they want to tame you so you became a "good person", if they fail they get hurt, if they succeed they get bored of you because you are not the same you used to be and look for another "beast" to tame.

  5. I never encountered being attracted or in a relation ship with a Sociopath until I was in my early 40's and my marriage had hit the skids. Suddenly I found myself single and I had no interest in dating, or attraction for other men in general, I was so used to being married.

    Bring in my sociopathic co-worker. Who was so quiet, I hadn't even given him a second thought, the three years he'd worked with me. (He later told me that since we sat so close, he could hear my every phone call and that he knew I had split with my husband and was in a very vulnerable place).

    Call it seduction, call it playing me, call it whatever you want. He slowly ramped up, blew me off my feet, and just when I thought I could never love anyone as much as I loved him and had never known this kind of high in my life.........he dropped me like a rock and shut me out. 1.5 years of the most fun, loving, crazy sex high I'd ever known turned to ZERO in one single day.

    We did the back and forth. I mean, my heart was broken and I tried everything to get him back. Then i started researching. I found hundreds of stories that were almost exactly the same as mine. Sociopath stages of a relationship: idealize, devalue, discard.

    I learned that this is just what he was. The person he portrayed himself to be was NOT who he really was. And that he'd played me just because he could. In the end, I internalized not to take it personally and I moved on.

    Here's the thing: I don't think there is something WRONG with me, per se, and I don't WANT to be in a relationship with a sociopath. This one got me when I was at a very low point in my life, vulnerable, and totally not suspecting a person could be like this.

    My ex was a jerk, but he was not a sociopath. I didn't even think people were out there like this!


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