Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Sociopath personal ad

There has been some debate about whether people who are consistently attracted to sociopaths get what they're asking for. On the one hand we have people arguing that being attracted to certain sociopathic traits, e.g. charm, gift for adoration, and intensity, are not necessarily looking for a sociopath--they're just looking for someone with charm, a gift for adoration, and intensity. Okay, sure, I understand that logic. But how many sociopathic traits are people going to list off as being attractive and still claim to not be attracted to sociopaths? My theory is that there actually are people out there who are attracted to sociopaths because they are sociopaths.

To test that theory, I have come up with a little social experiment. I'll post a personal ad depicting a non-criminal sociopath and see what sort of responses it gets. Here is my first shot at the ad (using as many traits from hare's sociopathy checklist as practical); feel free to suggest alterations so we can make this test as "fair" as possible:
i've just made a few big life changes and am looking to focus more on an intense connection with a special somebody. i haven't had much luck with relationships so far. just when i think i am really getting to connect with someone, they freak out. they start acting like i have changed when really i have been the same the whole time. so after being burned too many times, i am looking for someone who will love me for who i really am, not whatever they imagine me to be. in the interest of full disclosure, here's me:

charming, attractive, succesful, very smart, a cut above, love adventure and intrigue, impulsive, active, love extreme sports, exciting, motorcycles, clever, persuasive, confident, doesn't take no for an answer, not easily deflated or worked up about things, never moody, takes care of self, passionate, loves to tempt and be tempted, driven.

let me know if any of this sounds interesting. and actually, just so i can make sure you're not just spamming people with generic emails, let me know what about my self-portrait is especially appealing to you and why.

happy hunting.


  1. sociopaths are moody and paranoid aren't they? or are those narcissistic traits?

  2. do you think it possible for an empath to be so severely beaten and abused that he/she can acquire sociopathic tendencies, that is, feel like killing the sociopath that injured him/her and feel no remorse even if they've never ever dreamed of hurting a fly.
    I know we all are capable of darkness but empaths feel guilt.

  3. The whole add sounds fabricated. Cut out the stuff about extreme sports and motorcycles. Especially cut out the, "they freak out" part, no one would say that about themselves in a personal add. Try some more genuine traits instead of stereotypes.
    Just because sociopaths are charming does not make it charming to be a sociopath.
    -This is Draxious

  4. I guarantee you'll get results. Many chicks are desperate, though. They'd try to be with anyone just to be with someone.
    As for the above question about the "guilt" about self defense. Dude (dudette?) put up some boundaries. If you're preventing yourself from being harmed, there's nothing wrong with that. Wtf.

  5. I think some of those traits WOULD appeal, not just to the 'sick' women (I dont know why I assume you are male), but EVERYBODY-even impulsive and motorcycles and especially loves to tempt and be tempted, but it still is not the whole picture is it? What about emotionally unavailable, dismissive, inconsistent, would love to objectify you? :) Aah, but when people 'ask for it', its not quite so straighforward as that, is it? I'd go as far as to say, the kind of people who are attracted to the sociopath kinds would EVEN like those traits I mention, only they dont realize it/they realize it and both want and not want it.


  6. This was a looong time ago. How did it turn out? I'll bet you got responds, not necessarily because the responder searches for sociopaths... In stead I think a lot of romantics have an imagined idea of how the perfect partner would be, I also think it is possible to have those traits and not behave harmful towards a partner.

    ...But how did it turn out?


  7. You might consider the common pairing we see of Anti-Social men with Borderline or Bi-polar women.....that will probably account for a great deal of the Sociopath/Empath matchups you see, and the number of women venting endlessly about their (many) psycho ex's......Borderlines are the female counter-part to Sociopaths.

  8. See I could have written that. My mail box would be full of guys who want a good time girl. I'd never write that. Know what I do? I go out on my first date with a sack for a dress. I will do the seducing, thank you. When I'm good and ready to.

  9. I actually used many of those words in my ad before I found this site-especially extreme sports and motorcycles

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