Saturday, July 25, 2015

Sociopath envy?

Is this the source of the sometimes observed sociopath envy? Is it really just jerk envy (because sociopaths are too oblivious to conform to social norms, and therefore are seen as confidently bucking social norms because they're too powerful to be bothered with conformity)? From Forbes, on Why Jerks Get Ahead:

And so it is with rudeness, because while most of us deplore it, research suggests that we also see it as a sign of power. A study published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science indicated that the ruder someone acts, the more convinced observers become that he or she is powerful, and therefore does not have to respect the same rules the rest of us bow to.

In one of the experiments, study participants read about a visitor to an office who marched in and poured himself a cup of “employee only” coffee without asking.  In another case they read about a bookkeeper that flagrantly bent accounting rules. Participants rated the rule breakers as more in control and powerful compared to people who didn’t steal the coffee or break accounting rules.

In another experiment participants  watched a video of a man at a sidewalk cafĂ© put his feet on another chair, tap cigarette ashes on the ground and rudely order a meal.  Participants rated the man as more likely to “get to make decisions” and able to “get people to listen to what he says” than participants who saw a video of the same man behaving politely.

What this study appears to indicate is that violating norms is viewed by others as a sign of power, even if the observers would otherwise judge those violations as rude or flatly wrong.  Considering many of the openly rude jerks we venerate, these findings make a lot of sense. (Though I would like to see a follow on study that examines observer perceptions when the rude rule breakers are caught. Perhaps it’s less the rudeness and corruption we admire, and more the ability to get away with it that intrigues us. Maybe we’re just a little smitten with the charisma of villainy.)


31 comments:

  1. I'd class swiping a cup of coffee as cheeky rather than rude. I'll let cheekiness slide more often than not.
    Out and out rudeness is either ignored or treated as a competition. Unwarranted rudeness makes me think less of a person, not more.

    ReplyDelete
  2. There's nothing I can do. I'm powerless, unloved, and ugly.
    I know the only relief is suicide, but I'm to scared to do even that.
    I need a pretty blond to "encourage" me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That or I need to buss in da face

      Delete
  3. "Perhaps it’s less the rudeness and corruption we admire, and more the ability to get away with it that intrigues us. Maybe we’re just a little smitten with the charisma of villainy."

    This idea resonates.

    But perhaps more so: such behaviour indicates a person who knows what they want and gets after it.

    If one thinks of freedom as the power to choose - jerks fit that bill, and hence the reported appeal.

    However if we extend our concept of freedom to become the freedom to choose wisely... well, Don Draper in Mad Men puts it nicely:

    Don: "Campbell, we're both men here, so I'm gonna be direct."
    Pete: "Christ, are you already sleeping with her?"
    Don: "Advertising is a very small world, and when you do something like malign the reputation of a girl from the steno pool on her first day, you make it even smaller.
    Keep it up, and even if you do get my job, you'll never run this place.
    You'll die in that corner office, a mid-level executive with a little bit of hair who women go home with out of pity.
    Want to know why? Because no one will like you."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *concept of freedom to become the power to choose wisely

      Delete
  4. Sort of fits me. I am not a path. I have known quite a few paths, destroyed one (a new age cult leader) fought a couple others to a draw. Had briefer experiences with others. By nature, I am an introvert, but over my 71 years I learned how to behave like an extrovert when it's useful or amusing to me. In the same wa, I am not a path, but by being (mildly) victimized by them, sometimes defeating them, and studying them, I've learned how to violate norms and often get away with it. My wife, a very empathic person, has gradually learned to tolerate my norm violation.

    Perhaps my most extreme norm violation, one I can only get away with in the late 20th early 21st century is my atheism. Religious belief (and communism is simply a kind of psychopathic parody of religious belief) is nothing more than a species-wide mental illness, one that plenty of paths, including M.E., suffer from.

    As I creep up on the end of my life (I am in considerable pain from a pulled hamstring muscle), I will be more realistic (or at least more true to myself) and when confronted with truly painful and disgusting "stay alive at all costs" situations and options, go for the "Death with Dignity" route. Even when I hint at this line of thought, my wife and daughter are distressed. I have a visit to my doctor scheduled for next week. I will talk about pain relief, and ask about marijuana, which I've never tried, and probably is not useful for hamstring pain, and then prepare him for a time when I will insist on DwD. For example, I have a neighbor (older than I am) who went through years of dialysis and then got a kidney transplant. I find that disgusting on both ethical grounds and upon the willingness to put up with the pain and suffering. I read Atul Gawande's book about dying (he is a renowned surgeon and writer). Even though he is an East Indian surgeon in the United State, and his mother and father were very successful doctors in Inida, when his father became ill and incapacitated, all three of these intelligent, competent physicians essentially fell apart and coped not much better than you or I would.

    Another example of ostomy. (Various surgical techniques where you learn to shit into a bag that you carry around with you.) For a person in his or her 20s or 30s, it might be worth doing. For me, at 71, not in need of such a procedure at the moment, I would absolutely not put up with it and find it worthwhile. This certainly violates a lot of norms.

    As the old insult goes, "If you can't deal with it, eat shit and die." I will just die first.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think it's the certainty one projects when brazenly acting against social norms that makes people think "that person is powerful". Hence the phrase "gives no fucks"

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well, I disagree. Yeah, being rude have this effects, but there is a twist. It is not that being just rude and against the rules that shows to others that you are powerful. Actually it can have a opposite effect if misused.

    In my own experience, when you actively act defiant you show less power indicating that you are fighting to it. Instead who *have* power does not need to. The point is not to be defiant, instead, be indifferent to social norms.

    Being indifferent is what shows status and power, if you don't give a fuck about the rules that is where power resides. If you do act actively against the rules or do something deviant just to break it than you present yourself as powerless and with status nonconformity, with is really bad situation to be: where you show that you are low enough to not care about the downside, where the social prestige to loose does not worth keeping.

    So the point is not being actively rude and deviant, but instead being passively goal-oriented indifferent.

    ReplyDelete
  7. It isnt so much about being rude. It is mostly about not being embarrased and afraid to do what many other people wish they had the balls to do.
    Could be flirting, parachuting, speaking directly and unfiltered... A lot of things. Basically "being oneself".

    "You are so ... you !".. Did you ever hear that one ? Probably an ok example.

    P.

    ReplyDelete
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  25. More people need to be on http://sociopath-community.com/

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