Thursday, July 9, 2015

How do you cope?

From a reader:

I have recently come across your blog and it's given me a new perspective. It's interesting, many of your readers seem to be very high-functioning. This is not the case with me. I've had some trouble since early on being a "functional member of society", ergo I can't hold down a job, my family hates me, and I'm quite the drifter. Now don't be fooled, this does not much upset me. 

I found your blog after my psychiatrist (after some time of "therapy") informed me that I qualify for a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He also told me that I have a few antisocial traits, but barely don't qualify for a diagnosis of ASPD, the closest official variant of sociopathy. Now after I received this diagnosis, I was really put off because I can't stand narcissists, so I did some digging on NPD with antisocial traits, ended up reading "Mask of Sanity" and your very own enlightening book, "Confessions of a Sociopath." I don't believe in self-diagnosis, but I believe I would fit more into Dr. Robert Hare's depiction of psychopathy.


The reason I am emailing is this: How are you so functional? I would like to be able to have more control over my long-term behavior, but I just do not learn from experience at all, and sometimes I just don't care enough. Lately I'm believing that self control is the most important form of control, so I'm reaching out. My days are spent scamming money from parents and friends, the occasional crime, shoplifting, and cheep thrills. I'm just bored with this, but I'm also very young so I If you could provide your insights, I would be grateful! 

M.E.: Honestly, I feel like there are a few reasons why I am high functioning. First, I think that I couldn't be diagnosed as full blown ASPD, but rather personality disorder otherwise not specified with clear features of ASPD. Or you could say that I am more of a Cleckley sociopath than some of the other descriptions of sociopathy, primarily due to very low empathy and emotional attachment plus that odd constellation of personality traits of charm, confidence, fearlessness, risk-taking, etc. And for whatever reason, I feel like the Cleckley sociopath tends to be (perhaps by definition?) more high functioning than the ASPD or Hare version of a psychopath. I may be emotionally not integrated into society, but in almost every other aspect I actually have been relatively integrated (cf. the average criminal), and I think that probably makes the difference?

I'm sure that you could be helped, but I don't think that most psychologists would have the skill set to do so. My current therapist is really great. He has already walked me through a lot of the issues I had before, including learning how to not manipulate and developing an independent sense of self. But I think he is rare in the psychology world, unfortunately. But if there were two things I would suggest trying to work on from my own experience, it would probably be to try to find someone who could teach you how to not be manipulative and to have a stronger sense of self. Easier said than done, I'm sure.

39 comments:

  1. I realized early on that my psychopathic lifestyle (without knowing i was one) wasn't going to get me anywhere. So i studied just like everyone else. Then i got a crappy job because i didn't want to work in an office. Then i realized that wasn't the answer. And now im glad i work in a office. In my mind its better to live a less exiting life then to had it all and spend your life in prison. Meanwhile i try to have as much fun as i can without risking going to prison.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You must get into a "new thought" studies program. Eckert Tole,
    Krishnurmatii Foundation, Guy Findley, or "New Life Foundation" based
    in Arizona.
    You need to "Wake Up" and find realization. There are only 3 kinds of people:
    "Super Sickie" "Common Sickie," and awakened person. The above orginazations can help you wake up.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Meditation helps with impulse control and antisocial behavior. After practicing a bunch I have realized that almost all the time I and oher people are driven (made/forced) to do things. Other people want to be liked, take care of their loved ones and be productive. I want to be lazy and not bored. Get off the treadmill and you can be happy and lead a non-damaging existence.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks for sharing your info.

      Delete
    2. lol, psychopaths don't meditate. And why would they?
      The drowsy, sleeping (problems solving), meditative state (a.k.a. theta brainwaves) occur in psychopaths during the day. These brainwaves can even occur when a psycho is driving fast on the road or kicks the shit out off his spouse.
      I experience this often myself. When i drive in my car or when im working.
      So my point is they are in meditative states during the day, so they don't have to meditate. Im relaxed most of the time, but when im not i don't let it show. Unless i need to.


      http://changemymind.co/uncategorized/the-psychopaths-brainwave/

      Delete
    3. Agreed, Frank. Our ADHD-like brains make traditional meditation nearly impossible anyway.

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    4. I meditate. It is easy for me since I can drop into no-mind state without a problem. Not all of us have ADHD.

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    5. Dutton said ones that a psychopath has the attention span off a goldfish on crystal meth. He couldn't have described it better. Im almost always completely tuned in or completely tuned out. A no mind state occurs very often with me. I realize it when i drive my car (sometimes) or do the dishes that im not thinking about anything.

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    6. Yep, I guess meditating doesn't work for me because like Frank said, we're always not far from the meditative state of mind anyway, so it's not as drastic of an effect. I'm giving it a crack though; maybe meditation will fix my delayed-gratification problem. I really appreciate the insights the readers of this blog have.

      Delete
  4. This is my fav author

    ReplyDelete
  5. Maybe it is caused by the feeling of impossibility of doing something. I mean sometimes we need only right direction to act. My friend used to frustrate because of his impossibility to write essays on time. So I suggested him http://www.trustmypaper.com to solve his problem and he got confidence that helped him to overcome the next challenge.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks for your spam, marry flincher

      Delete
    2. Not very bright leaving spam on a sociopath site linking back to real name....

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    3. Probably not her/his real name, smells like a scam to me...

      Delete
  6. I find one single thing to focus on. Like building confidence.. in myself and by proxy in others.

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    Replies
    1. Ever hear of the term "narcissistic supply?"

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  7. I don't think sociopaths cope.. a good sociopath would have no reason to cope.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wrong - Boredom is a reason to cope. The will to power. A more affluent lifestyle requires more long-term self control, in most cases, and sociopaths love money and status. And is there such thing as a "good" sociopath, anyway?

      Delete
    2. Boredom is your brains way of telling you to do something. Its a mechanism.
      Yes a sociopath is good. Is there such a thing as a good empath??? I wonder.

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    3. No because empaths are caught up in the motion... a sociopath learns to disintegrate.

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    4. OK, I keep trying to figure out what an empath is. Please explain! I can only find crunchy definitions online which don't match this blog.

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    5. Empath is an asslicker. Aka narcissist.
      A person that confuses his/her own fear and the actions derived from that fear, to being nice and warm towards others..
      That is the neurotypical empath. Then you have another type. It is related to hypersensitivity and less related to behaviour. Someone can feel another persons mind and emotions, and still choose to give a big f .
      P

      Delete
    6. Narcissist = lack of empathy, dumbass
      Also every single psychopath is a narc of sorts.

      Delete
  8. Many seem small, daft & insignificant. Whiners. Are they really "it", do they have "the gift"? I wonder, I have my doubts..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Millions do. Whether a stranger on the internet does...well that's rather insignificant.

      Delete
  9. Imagine if some whining & self-obsessed socio suddenly encountered the zodiac Scorpio, somebody who did not care about whiny self-obsessed crap-tales, what a terrible surprise for "the whiner"? One can almost see the scene: this anxious slimeball suddenly overshadowed by Big Bad Papa Bear? Many "small bugs" are starting to believe their own ego fairy-tale stories; what if "Papa Bear" suddenly read them a new story, a rather memorable one? In most scorp establishments a "psycho" is seen as a coffee-poisoner, nothing more fancy or grand than that..

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  10. What do u want? U never answered that question

    ReplyDelete
  11. Vent of the vampire anyone? I think it may please the author of this site: damnedtoflesh.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. I cope by faking empathy. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to maintain long-term relationships. It's all about who you know. It's short-sighted to screw-over everybody you can. Had to learn that the hard way...

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  13. See Above Post: The amazing denial ability of a narcissist.

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  17. More people need to be on http://sociopath-community.com/

    !!! it used to be connected to this blog but was disconnected over a year ago. We need fresh blood and lots of interesting things have happened recently (relates to kiwifar.ms drama: https://archive.is/M2tXa) that will go down in the forum's history! Be sure to check out http://www.psychforums.com/antisocial-personality/ too, as some of its regulars are regulars on SC too!

    Goddamn ME refused to reconnect the blog to the forum so we SC goers will just have to spam advertisements for the forum in the comments section. ;)

    ReplyDelete

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