Thursday, April 17, 2014

Sociopathic savior

When I was growing up I had such insight into the psyches of others (and when I was younger, not enough of a filter from saying creepy things to people's faces), that people would tell me that I should be a psychologist. Often I feel like people either seek me out because they are interested in having me see through them or someone else they're trying to understand, or at the very least it contributes a lot to what my friends seem to get out of our relationships. That's why I thought this email from a reader was an interesting take on the reasons why a sociopath might choose to help people:

First of all, I just wanted to thank you so much for Confessions... I personally have several male sociopath friends (we just attract each other!), but no fellow female sociopaths have ever come my way. As such, I was naturally curious how other women display their sociopathy, and how the display of my own characteristics "measured up" to other females. I'm happy to say that much of your book felt like stream of consciousness coming from my own mind. There were even a couple of adages or quotes I found within your book that I've been saying for years, haha. It was a pleasure to read.

All gushing, flattery, and gratitude aside, I wanted to take a chunk of my own life and throw it to the wolves, as it were ;) I'm not asking for clarity on whether or not I'm a sociopath (I know I am, and I don't need "reassurance" for such things), but I suppose I would like to initiate a bit of discussion among your readers as to how sociopathy can play out.

Growing up, I had all of the classic symptoms of a sociopath. I used my parents' divorce to manipulate, guilt-trip, and ultimately profit from both parents, I would get in fights at school, covering up quickly by claiming the other child wanted me to hit them because they wanted to see what I was learning in martial arts, I learned how to fake guilt in that "I guess I took it too far," with crocodile tears to boot. I would lie about the most mundane of things, like whether or not I had brushed my teeth a particular morning, and sometimes I would lie just to create emotional outbursts "for the fun of it" (ie: I was homeschooled by my stepmom, who I despised entirely, so occasionally I would come to my dad in tears, confessing I had "failed" a really important test, that I felt like I wasn't taught any of the material covered. In reality, I always got very high marks, but I gained a sort of satisfaction in watching my dad blow up at my stepmom for "ruining my education.")

All of this took a turn when I was sixteen, when my dad, in one of his outbursts, killed my stepmom, baby sister, and himself. (I was also shot, but survived.) I was "sentenced" to court mandated therapy, which was entirely necessary as I was having flashbacks, nightmares, etc. But my therapist noticed something: aside from my dad--who, at very least, had sociopathic tendencies, though his primary dx was bipolar... he was incredibly intelligent, however, and through his own wits and ways of "bending the law," he went from being a high school dropout, son of a hooker to a multimillionaire by his early twenties. I still admire and respect him, probably more than any other person--aside from my loss of this influential role in my life, I did not grieve. I was not concerned for my losses, except the man I saw as most contributing to my education and growth (he spent hours every week teaching me about social manipulation, business strategy, etc)--someone I had seen as "useful." My therapist chalked this up to a delay in grief caused by shock, but five and a half years later, I have never been so much as concerned to think of the others. 

Though I was not grieving, being in therapy taught me how I "should be" grieving. My therapist used a lot more suggestive questions than she probably should have, likely to try to draw me "out of my shell" or to help me put a name to emotions I was "experiencing," but didn't "understand." So I created a persona based on this "grieving me." My performance won me a full-ride scholarship to college, many families opened their homes to me, and I noticed something odd--people came up to me, seemingly out of the blue, to talk to me about their problems, thinking "if anyone could relate," it would be me.

Having been in therapy, and having keenly observed my therapist, I simply played counselor to these people. And they would look at me and tell me how much I inspired them and gave them hope... Several told me, eventually, that had it not been for me, they would've killed themselves. The power and influence I had over these people was astonishing--and I loved it. 

So I used my education to get my BA in psychology, and in the near future, I will be pursuing a MA in Grief and Trauma Therapy. I currently volunteer once a week at a grief center for teens (I specifically work with teens who have lost someone to suicide, which earns me double points for 1. working with "the toughest cases," and 2. for being "strong enough to open up to relate in such a personal way to these teens"). I also work at a residential treatment center for adolescent girls who have been through trauma and abuse. Everyone I tell my persona's story to gushes at me in admiration, and more often than not, opens themselves up ever so completely to me. They trust me, in many cases, more than anyone else they've ever met. Trusting someone is laying down your defenses completely and being bareboned honest, fearless of the consequences. People trust me so much as to let me in where no other may go. I saved their lives, and in essense, now control their lives. The power of that is incredibly intoxicating.

So, yes: these days, I help people. And I am damn good at it. But I'm tired of hearing so many people (mostly empaths and wanna-be-sociopaths) tell me that no "real" sociopath would want to help people the way I do. Even some sociopaths are skeptical. But the display of sociopathic behavior is rooted in what we want. We want power. For me, I've found the most success in gaining power through letting people trust me on what they believe to be their own terms. Yes, I could ruin them, and that is a delicious fantasy (and one, admittedly, I play out now and again with lovers)... but if I did so with clients, my reputation could be ruined more than it would be worth. By being "responsible" with my power, I gain more of it. 

I'm curious what you and yours would remark on my endeavors. I don't help people because I feel "compassion" or any nonsense like that. I don't feel any sort of "trauma bond" either. Simply, I'm good at something, and people admire, praise, and depend on me (to the point of stopping themselves from suicide) for that. Any other "savior sociopaths" out there? (After all, being a Savior entails being someone's God...)

78 comments:

  1. Anyone who thinks that sociopaths will never help others is plain wrong. Sociopaths will always help themselves; often this may involve helping others. I would argue that a sociopath might never--or, almost never--sacrifice themselves for someone else, but I would definitely suggest that pro-social sociopaths exist.

    For example, surgeons have a high representation in the sociopath cluster. The fact that they help others clearly doesn't disqualify them from being sociopaths; similarly, the fact that they are sociopaths doesn't seep to stop them from helping others.

    -KB

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    1. Sociopaths can find it easy to play therapist, grief counselor or person who listens and really tries to get the subjective experience of the other person. Allowing someone to be intimate about their experience sometimes leads to thrilling things, which the sociopath can get addicted to.

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  2. ME should stop making up pretend stories from imaginary readers to back up her own profit driven sociopath crusade

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    1. As Dr Phil might say, how's that working out for her?

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    2. There's enough info in this story - father kills wife & child, one child survives, in the years 2008-2009, that one ought to be able to figure out if it happened as described.

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    3. Probably disguised some of the details. Lots of shootings in the US but could have been anywhere:

      http://www.childrensdefense.org/child-research-data-publications/data/protect-children-not-guns-2012.pdf

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    4. Totally agree. This is ME writing. And in the last post she picked entire sentences and ideas from reads to fake the post. She wants to paint psichos as good people. But I'm still afraid about their anger.

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  3. Bipolar empath here. I have talked many times.This post really meant something to me.

    It is such a fine line between socios and empaths, IMHO. I used to do social work. My whole life, people have told me things. I empathize to death. I think to death.

    I do it, because I feel it. I truly do. I WANT to be good. It is my "( in socio speak" my code.")

    I am not stupid. I know that good and evil DO exist. But I think no one is 100% one way or another.

    People call me gullible and I am sorry, I think there may be different motives involved, ( selfish vs. selfless) but people of all types,can do good.

    JMHO

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  4. Well this has been ME's point all along, that it doesn't matter what your motivation is, what matters is how you behave. If I were to get biblical about it, I'd say you're using your talents instead of burying them in the ground and that can only be good. The people you're helping are helping you too. They're giving you a fuller life, allowing you to engage, and presumably enabling you to make an honest living. Now if you could only learn to treat your lovers with respect, you'll be able to look back on a life well lived. That would be admirable.

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  5. Ted Bundy worked at a sucide prevention clinic. Ann Rule,
    the famous crime writer that worked with him wrote:
    "If it is said that Ted took many lives, I can personally attest
    that Ted saved many lives as well,"
    The sucessful sociopath MUST appear very benevelent. That's
    how they scam their victims, like grifters, used car salesmen,
    politicans, ad men, attornies, cult leaders, lovers, and psycharists.
    Two examples of sociopaths are Satan in The Garden Of Eden, and
    the character who played the German U-boat commander in the
    Alfred Hitchcock film "Lifeboat."

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    1. Read the book The Sociopath Next Door. You'll get some good insight of the "benefits" of a sociopathic psychotherapist. DON'T be deceived and DON'T be fooled. Those teens the writer (ME) claims to help, are really victims that should run for the hills!( but they can't because they don't know their being manipulated and lied too.) Not saying sociopaths don't have some strengths to share, but let's not fool ourselves, no sociopath could be a descent therapist with integrity long-term.You are what you are in all areas of your life, professional and personal.

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    2. Only the Paranoid SurviveOctober 7, 2014 at 6:08 PM

      The worst kind is friendly, optimistic, laughs a lot, has a good sense of humor and is capable of maintaining a long-term relationship.

      And all these things are used as camouflage.

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  6. I mean hey, this is what I have been saying about sociopaths forever. Ironically a lot of what they do is helpful to a lot of people even when they have some of their own motives (power, control,etc etc). I don't understand why it's upsetting to people as long as the group benefits, who really cares what the motive is.

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  7. "I'm curious what you and yours would remark on my endeavors."

    All you've done is talk about yourself, how great you are, and what YOU get out of it. That's typical narcissistic behavior. Your whole post is about what a "great" sociopath you are because you don't hurt people; you've elevated yourself among sociopaths to an elite status. The answer to your question is simple; your endeavors are all about you.

    MelissaR

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    1. You sound taken aback that a classic sociopath is showing signs of classic sociopathy.

      -KB

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    2. It is a self answering question though, If she identifies as a sociopath and doesn't need affirmation of that...then really what else can we say about her endeavors ? other than sounds legit.

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    3. megalomania, grandiosity, in the extreme. classic sociopathic behaviors. She could care less about the 'teens'. really? your a good therapist when you don't give a shit, please!

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    4. You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you CAN'T fool all of the people all of the time.

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    5. KG,

      I'm not taken aback at all. If anything I'm rather perplexed about the question. The writer stated she was a sociopath, described her sociopathic behavior, and then asked what others thought. I have no idea what type of rely she was/is looking for.

      MelissaR

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  8. this blog is so tedious and the audience is shit

    christ! how do you live with yourselves?! I know the answer to that already, you're all a handful of dumb fucks

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    1. Somebody wants attention.

      Oh Danny boy, you're good enough, you're smart enough, and people like you. Now go play nicely with the other children.

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    2. Mr. Danny, I am terribly sorry that your parents did not hold you enough as a child. I am emphatically sorry that you did not live up to everyone's expectations and that you feel like a failure now. Don't worry bud, life will get easier for you.(Probably not) And yes, having the penis size of a four year old is indeed a handicap. (Ignore what the girls say, I am sure it is a good size.)

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  9. There are a million and one selfish reasons for helping people: to alleviate boredom, the activity is something new or already known to be exciting, it will enable a favour to be asked at a later date, the helping will improve your image in the eyes of the person who is helped or will look good on a CV, the helping is just a front for building a relationship with somebody, and the reader's favourite: the helping puts the helper in a position of power. OK, that's only five reasons, but you get the idea...

    Personally, I have racked up hundreds of hours of volunteer work, but I can't truthfully say that any of it was motivated by altruistic concerns. If it seems altruistic, and has the same rough outcome, what is the difference?

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  10. Another link between socios and Scorpio (the zodiac sign): eerie insights into others & their real motives for doing things. Some claim scorps to be walking lie-detectors, born police investigators "sensing" what really happened at a crime scene & "knowing" when shitbirds lie even if there´s no proof. Some claim the the scorp-variation known as Virgo can "read others" by just study what/how they write, what words they use etc; almost like a mental fingerprint, difficult to fake. "-I can see you, even in your latest disguise" some belligerent virgoans chuckle in their minimalistic white rooms when reading lots of BS stuff online. I guess the socios shrink abilities has to do with fine-tuned predatory senses?

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  11. There's a reason that I (as an extreme empath) love this blog. I love the way SOME sociopaths think. Like the author of this post, I also loved ME's book, but for very different reasons.

    When self aware sociopaths aren't trying to con someone, they approach the ideals espoused by stoic philosophers or even the ego-less place zen Buddhists try to achieve. They are not motivated by trying to make people approve of them. Instead, their motivation rises from an internal locus of control.

    While narcissistic personality disorder and sociopathy may lead to similar patterns of self serving behavior, I am far less irked by a sociopath who simply pursues their self interest (even if it hurts/offends others) than the extreme/malignant narcissist who pursues their own self interest just as relentlessly but desperately tries to cover up their manipulations (even to themselves) with an elaborate pattern of self justification which involves scapegoating people they have already victimized.

    A true sociopath mighty murder a target, but it's more business than personal. A narcissist will fixate on a target even when there's no rational reason to do so other than wounded pride. If you tell a sociopath to go away, they generally get the hint. I'm not justifying antisocial behavior. I'm merely appreciative of the fact that sociopaths simply injure others as they please. They don't feel the need to add insult to injury in some perverse self justifying effort to satisfy their own warped consciences. A narcissist will destroy your life, but be wounded if anyone questions if they are a good person. A sociopath is more likely to simply let their actions speak for themselves.

    As far as I can see, the author of this letter is very aware that she has very strong social skills. I would argue that even if she does not consciously experience emotions the way an empathic person does, she's experiencing something that gives her the intuitive knowledge of the human soul that is not unrelated to empathy. In other words, she may be sociopathic but her cognitive empathy is very strong, which does distinguish her from the textbook antisocial personality.

    I am currently fascinated by the concept of post traumatic growth, and find this individual to be an extraordinary example of that phenomenon. To have had the upbringing she did would have crushed the average person. Her antisocial behaviors were likely the key to her survival, and for that reason I can't see them as purely pathological. If a young child doesn't successfully navigate the trust vs. mistrust stage of early development for some children can't trust no matter what their personal strengths may be simply because they have not been given a reason to trust. To trust in a situation with extreme but random violence would have been to assume a form of psychosis that would be far more pathological than to develop an antisocial personality. It's an adaptive response.

    What I didn't see in this post was an inclination towards sadism. Perhaps there's a sort of ruthlessness, but it seems to have more to do with an excellent bullshit detector. A malignant personality would exploit the power imbalance in a client/therapist relationship even at the expense of professional self sabotage. This individual seems to get a kick out of building up life rather than tearing it down. Yet, she is ruthlessly unsentimental about her motives and I very much doubt she'd give a shit if anyone called her "a good person".

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    1. "In other words, she may be sociopathic but her cognitive empathy is very strong"

      What's the difference between cognitive empathy and regular empathy?

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    2. Machiavellianempath: (n). 1. one who thirsts for bovine excretion. 2. one who attempts to taste everything; yet, lacks a taste for anything.

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  12. (sorry so long...)


    This individual has embraced her shadow side and has recruited it to serve her in a positive manner. While I suspect she would cast a wary glance at organized religion or maybe even use a religious disguise as a means to an end, I think she has a internal motivation structure that many would characterize as spiritual- and by that I mean that she has formed her own set of principles and adheres to them. She has figured out a way to short circuit her own emotional responses to the feedback that empowers her cognitive empathy so she is not plagued by self sabotaging impulses. She operates from an internal locus of control that only she truly understands.

    What this says to me is that this person is extraordinarily powerful. Her self determined principles will be lived out. Only she knows what her life's work is- and it's possible that she is still in the process of figuring that out. My prediction is that her biggest obstacle will be her lack of long term motivation because her early experiences will push her towards nihilistic despair. But if she is capable of devising an internal reward system that keeps her from acting in a self sabotaging manner or sinking into inescapable apathy, she will be effective in realizing her goals in a way that only a tiny percentage of the population is.

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    1. "My prediction is that her biggest obstacle will be her lack of long term motivation because her early experiences will push her towards nihilistic despair. But if she is capable of devising an internal reward system that keeps her from acting in a self sabotaging manner or sinking into inescapable apathy, she will be effective in realizing her goals in a way that only a tiny percentage of the population is."

      I feel like this is my problem right now. I know I am capable, but most of the time I'm apathetic to a point of self-sabotage. I try to get by with the minimum possible effort in everything.

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  14. I think its fine. As long as you are benefitting, and they are benefitting who cares? Like as long as you are not walking around hurting people's feelings who cares?

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  16. But yeah I have this firm belief that all the beloved people in the world (including Ellen Degeneres) are sociopaths... and its really twisted. Like we are the worst people in the world... but somehow we come across the opposite way?

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  17. George Bush Paints Art of Ellen.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7qbFjjF4r0
    At the end she says "I'm flattered, and I'm not."

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  18. Yes I definately have emotion just not for other people.

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  19. The people in the world who are beloved in a widespread sort of way have the ability to make others feel a connection to them. That is not a uniquely sociopathic trait. In fact, most sociopaths don't have it at all beyond superficial charm. What many sociopaths do have is the ability to reduce the neurosis of a target (one of multiple) and a sense that all will be well if you just do things the sociopath's way. It's a nice feeling- perhaps similar to what a well loved child feels after being tucked into bed after a long full day. That's a feeling that even the fortunate among us must say goodbye to when adult realities catch up to us (and they always do...)

    But there is a magical minority of the population who is able to temporary capture the imagination of the wound up neurotic majority by spinning a version of reality that has a happy ending... and that is the lure of the sociopath, the visionary, the priest, and the revolutionary. They make people believe for a time (even if it's as short as an Ellen episode) that all will be well and that we can laugh off our hardships. That's not sociopathy. That's a wise understanding of human nature, which is what I suspect the writer of the original post is on her way to possessing.

    The great irony is- almost everyone wants to be beloved- but I'm not sure she particularly cares to be. Life is funny that way.

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    1. I mean her ruthlessness, her sadism, and her successfullness. She is a prankster at heart.

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    2. I guess I believe sociopaths to be human too.. just in a different way than empaths. I don't see Ellen as being an empath.

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    3. Even though it comes across that way. Hard to explain.

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    4. And she's like everyone's saviour. I donno. A saviour is always a sociopath isn't he?

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    5. Ellen's not my savior- but I do see that she appeals to many. She's done a good job of connecting with her audience. I think she has high social skills and beyond that I don't have enough data points to judge.

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    6. To me she is an inspirational person, I think I am my own savior. I think we should all be our own saviors.

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  20. If you analyse motivations in anyone, it is hard to see pure benevolent motivation. We love our families, but they are an extension of ourselves. I really don't understand why 'sociopaths' think they are different. These things are just a contiuum.
    I consider myself an extreme empath almost psychic, and what I have found is that so many people who claim to be kind and emotional are just sentimental.
    Sentimentality is often fake. I feel I can read other peoples' emotions and they are not pretty. I myself perhaps give the appearance of being a sociopath because I am not in the slightest sentimental, but I assure you I have very strong emotions and am not particularly narcissistic.
    Females in particular use emotions to get their way because generally they are less powerful than males, and perhaps that is also part of human mating rituals. But I almost think men are more emotional than women it is just not acceptable for a male to show weakness. And a super emotional man isn't too attractive to many women. I am female and really think it is pathetic to see the role many women play, but men seem to like them that way.
    When I see someone expressing fake gushing emotions, I just can't help making sarcastic comments. Now if they were real they would look upset and confused, but no they looked pissed and then of course they don't like me.

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  21. I read this story and I'm horrifed that a sociopath like her is a therpaist. If A therpaist I once had was a bitch during a therapy session(and she was just a bitch), I wouldn't want a sociopath for a therapist. they don;t understand emotionally charged situations , they be acting instead. is this just as bad as somoene taking people's money and not being affective. I will NEVER accept a sociopath nut to fake empathy during a therapy session, otherwise she 'sno emtionally healthly and the therpaist needs to set the standard for what is normal, show facila expressions, cry, scream. before, any of you sociopath try to bother me with antisocial behavior, don;t bother, I'm cynical and never will fall for crap that you mention. I'll call it blah, blah, blah. mentioning a therpaist is a bithc is just saying she's a msierbale woman. there's nothing perosnal about it.

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    1. All therapy is a form of manipulation. You know that right?

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    2. a science of how people act. they give advice, my make own decesions. I can tell when someone's trying to tell me what to do, that's why I set it straight what I want out of it.

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    3. To check oneself in, to check oneself out, to manipulate and innovate. Fuck the doubt; mind the clout.

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  22. Sociopaths are good at helping you feel loved... making you feel like they are a sort of social support.

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    1. Basically with a sociopath, you feel like you have a friend. Obviously this applies to the successful ones only.

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    2. Some sociopathic non-sociopaths can actually be addictive, they kinda turn into gurus for certain composed people with lava-floods of hatred running behind their calm exterior. Maybe the former "acts out" what the latter must keep hidden? Its an interesting theory. Everyone can have theories, speculations which they sometimes play with a little..

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    3. I find sociopaths addictive.. smart people. What is a sociopathic non-sociopath?

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    4. I get along best with sociopaths although sometimes some of them get emotions and its like you're not supposed to have emotions you're a sociopath remember? lol

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    5. I have emotion for me. I love me. Its me everyone should focus on. Not others.

      Does that make sense? LIke there is only me...

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    6. from different perspectives of course. But like there is no other.

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    7. Now we know there is no one out there, just our memories of the other person.

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    8. Its just a memory, theres no other person lol.

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    9. Once I delete the data in me, it automatically becomes deleted in everyone else.

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    10. Because whatever comes with us comes with other people too.

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    11. "What is a sociopathic non-sociopath?"

      An asshole.

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    12. I think you're confused. A sociopath is an asshole. I'm pretty sure. lol

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  23. Power is relativeApril 17, 2014 at 4:06 PM

    This person could also have a small brain, as shrinking brains are associated with apathy. What's easier than helping a sick person? Could she help a powerful person? Are any powerful people approaching and asking her for help or guidance? Getting a graduate degree in certain fields is much easier than you think. Don't overestimate her powers. A lot of low-fucntioning people see the only way to power is to help the sick (lower than themselves).

    Read the correlation between apathy and shrinking brains:

    04:13 PM ET
    Apathy in older folks could signal shrinking brain
    Being apathetic is usually defined as showing a lack of enthusiasm or energy. Most people who experience it say they just aren’t motivated to do anything.

    Although anyone in any age group can become apathetic, it has been well documented that apathy tends to affect those in their golden years. Now scientists believe that an elderly person’s lack of emotion and indifference to the world could be a sign his or her brain is shrinking.

    A study published Wednesday in the journal Neurology, and funded by the National Institutes of Health's National Institute of Aging, found that older folks, who are apathetic - but not depressed – may be suffering from smaller brain volumes than those without apathy.

    Researchers looked at more than 4,300 people from the Netherlands, with an average age of 76, who did not have dementia. All underwent brain MRI scans and were later asked questions that measured their apathy symptoms, such as lack of interest in things, giving up activities they once enjoyed and a lack of energy.

    Scientists at the University Medical Center Utrecht in the Netherlands found that people with two or more of these symptoms had 1.4% smaller gray matter and 1.6% less white matter in their brains than those who showed little or no apathy. Gray matter is where memories and learning are stored in the brain, while white matter is the part of the brain that controls its communication system.

    "Just as signs of memory loss may signal brain changes related to brain disease, apathy may indicate underlying changes," says study author Lenore J. Launer with the National Institute on Aging and a member of the American Academy of Neurology. "Apathy symptoms are common in older people without dementia. And the fact that participants in our study had apathy without depression should turn our attention to how apathy alone could indicate brain disease."

    Although the findings are interesting, to some doctors they are not surprising. Dr. Marc Dalton of Dalton Psychiatry in Washington says he sees apathy in a number of his elderly patients. He believes the new findings could give him better insight on ways to approach their treatment.

    “I think you have to look at how this may alter the way we view those with severe apathetic tendencies," he says. "Are these people giving up, or are they just tired? Can they still function, able to enjoy life at times, or is their apathy caused by something more serious?"

    Study authors agree more research needs to be done. But the data does seem to show, they say, that apathy in older people could signal something more than just moodiness.

    "If these findings are confirmed, identifying people with apathy earlier may be one way to target an at-risk group," notes Launer.

    “The brain is still the final frontier,” says Dalton. “Taking this information and expanding on the research could lead to even more insight into how (brain) development can affect us mentally and physically.”

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    1. As far as aging is concerned, people change. Aren't they supposed to be getting wiser? I have known elderly men who became way more emotional as they aged. And my own father who as a young man was fairly nasty became much kinder in old age. He also developed quite a lot of guilt which he never seemed to suffer before.

      I am aging now myself, and rather than apathy caused by a shrinking brain I believe it is caused by failing physical health in many cases. People feel tired often because their heart/kidneys/digestive system is not so efficient.
      Really a 1.4 or 1.6% difference in brain volume is irelevant. Plus there is the boredom that sometimes comes with 'being there done that'. It is hard to start again when you get old. Moving, getting new friends, starting a new career, reinventing yourself is exciting -- not so possible when you are old. Plus there is the obvious distaste many young people have for the old.

      There is a lot more time for contemplation when you are old, I wonder if that is why some people start to develop a conscience and guilt at this time. I wonder if sociopaths are affected this way too??

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  24. I love this creepy video

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ak3z2Pm7Iwg

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    1. Yes I love this video lol. Another good one is Fantastic Planet.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FdEkLmxSxo&list=PLlvjGC6DCf89bjB7d-P52nP5r9WfiOIkR

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    2. Its so creepy my friends don't like me to play it. Also the Holy Mountain everyone says is too fucked up for them.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqI-tKsoCIA


      And then there's Begotten.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=455ohZRdbY8

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    3. I think The Holy Mountain may be representative of my life.

      Delete
    4. Born Villain

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hB0Dp9TrR1c

      Delete
  25. I hate falling into the ego traps.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Youtube
    Malice in Wonderland
    Prometheus Garden (really creepy stop motion)
    Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer is really disturbing.
    Theres Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom
    Theres also Jack Ketchums the Girl Next door is probaly the most disturbing.
    Theyre all on Youtube.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Prometheus Garden is a 1988 claymation film. It is very creepy and very creative.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1tx8mEie-o

    ReplyDelete
  28. Is it possible that the person who wrote this contributed to her father's meltdown with all the lies, and creation of discord between stepmom and dad? Having a psychopath in the house is like living with a grenade.

    It was generous of the stepmom to homeschool the brat. Wonder why she despised her in return.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I found the dichotomy of what she does, and is, hilarious.

    Helping people does grant a level of fulfillment through authority. You are manipulating them and reshaping their views to what you want. The difference is in the results - instead of being broken, they're being fixed or improved based on your control.

    I teach. While I would not call that "savior sociopathy" it does have similarities (albeit lacking in its extremism). They are both microcosms of creation - to build something that does not currently exist. It exists as a form of beneficial manipulation. Granted, unlike non-sociopathic megalomania, it is not really as pleasurable or joyful an experience, but it does works as a productive exercise of mental exertion. And in that, they are fulfilling.

    It is a mutually beneficial arrangement that you can not be faulted on. Unless of course you reveal yourself to your co-workers, who would invariably take offense despite a detached analysis, but that is unlikely.

    An interesting read.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Interestingly, last night's episode of 'Hannibal' dealt with a psychopath social worker who was manipulating his clients.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Haha listen to all the socios on here trying to shoot you down. Trying to MINIMISE the AWESOMENESS of what you have done... what YOU have mastered.
    The fact you have taken SELF MASTERY to another level makes it abundantly clear that you have elevated yourself above and beyond them all hahaha.

    In the end a socio is after control, to stroke theyre own pewny egos but YOU have elevated above that need..... Youve mastered your mind to savor knowing you COULD (destroy/control anyone) if you WANTED to, but completely aware thus not having to prove or validate it to anyone/or yourself.

    I never thought i would admire a socio but you my dear are the first and based on all the low level socios reactions to your letter, you threaten there tiny egos which makes me like you even more... Bec

    ReplyDelete

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