Thursday, April 10, 2014

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

The older I get, the more my obsession with efficiency and decisionmaking provokes me to behave in quirky ways, giving me every appearance of suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder (emphasis on compulsion).

Every month or two I make a small trek to a warehouse store. At the store I buy the same approximately 20 items in various quantities (small amounts of hummus, large amounts of palm hearts). I eat these items in a particular order, prioritizing the fresh fruits and vegetables in order of their spoilage, shifting then to baked goods that have a slightly longer shelf life, and finally to canned and frozen foods until I am able to make another trip to start the cycle over again.

My approach to shopping at the warehouse store is a ritualistic self-indulgence of the extremes of my desire to control. Because I am never sure what fresh fruits and vegetables will be available, I start there (what I am able to acquire in fresh fruits may alter slightly my choices in the frozen foods section, and finally in the dry and canned goods section). Even though I have a list and even though I buy nearly identical items at each trip, I still spend approximately 2-3 minutes with each item, even more for produce. I look at the quality, looking for flaws, looking at spoilage dates, comparing the item I selected with other identical items to determine slight variations. I do this carefully and methodically, trying to remain focused as my body suffers through the artificial chill of the produce section’s walk-in refrigerator. I then do the same for each other type of food, frozen foods, dry and canned goods, as well as any paper goods. I walk fastidiously through each aisle, paranoid that I will neglect some forgotten need and have to go without for another month or two.

As I stand in line to pay for my purchases, I sometimes smile at the odd picture the bizarre array of foods makes, each one of them a carefully chosen trade-off between convenience and nutrition, taste and perishability, versatility and diversity. Are people more likely to believe that I am throwing a theme party (assorted beverages and ethnic foods) or that I have Asperger’s (16 jars of palm hearts)?

But after years of this self-indulgence I can’t go to a normal grocer’s anymore; at least I can’t go and feel satisfied about the experience. My datamining mind chokes on the sheer amount of data involved for choosing each item: the unknowns (taste, quality, perishability, nutrition, price, etc.) multiplied by the number of options. People say “a whole aisle of bread,” like it is a good thing, but to me it is horror.

The last time I went to a grocery store was a whim—I needed to kill time waiting for an appointment so I thought I would buy rye bread because I love it and my warehouse store does not stock it. When I walked into the bread aisle, I was aghast. There were 8 different types of rye bread. I looked at each one, comparing the descriptions of taste, comparing the color and feel, comparing the nutritional information and the ingredients list. After 20 minutes and about to become paralyzed with indecision, I picked one loaf of each—all 8 different types of rye bread. (I am still eating rye bread from that trip, the loaves suffering serious freezer burn.)

And that is why I like to shop at the warehouse store. There are not 100 different types of bread, there are 5. There are not 20 different types of yogurt, there are three. There are only two types of bacon, regular and turkey, and only one type of egg whites in tetrapak. Going to the warehouse store is a satisfying experience in which I am quite certain that I can make the best possible choices given my options. Given my love/hate relationship with food and my particular dietary needs, I avoid going to a large grocery store for the same reasons I avoid going to a used car lot .

UPDATE: Interestingly, James Fallon said that he was at one point diagnosed with both an anxiety disorder and OCD

168 comments:

  1. This post sounds like me.

    The grocery store I frequent has 32,000 varieties of store-brand salsa. I stopped buying salsa because every time I went to get some I'd be stuck staring and comparing for no less than 15 minutes.

    Just today I took me a 3 trips to the personal care aisle, at about 5+ minutes apiece, to choose between extra hold mousse and maximum hold mousse.

    It's times like these that I wish I lived in a communist country. I hate shopping, of any sort.

    More choice doesn't automatically mean better or more free.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i thought i was the only one that did this,

      Delete
  2. I read somewhere that this is common among people whose Limbic system does not work (coreectly/at all). Those people suffer from extreme indecision because, apparently, most daily choices are more emotionally driven than made completely rational.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice. Many decisions have little value when you compare the time and stress factor.


      Delete
  3. This is kinda the black pen blue pen scenario. People who have no emotions can't make a decision between the two. I personally am highly decisive. Get the one that is cheaper or the brand you've tried before. Taste matters little to me though. I don't seem to have a very sensitive pallet when it comes to taste or I really do just like everything, it is one or the other. Generally my problems with food are texture related. Picky eaters actually kinda piss me off. IF you are hungry and their is food in front of you eat it. I don't give a shit if it isn't buttered the way you like. If you somehow got lost in the woods and only had spam would you refuse to eat because it wasn't served with a side of tomato and spread over toast?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But I'm not lost in the woods and I don't only have spam, so why would I have to stick with such a restrictive standard?

      Delete
  4. i hear theres a difference between OCD and OCPD. If anyone wants to explain please do. I think OCD is repeated behaviour like washing hands a million times, whilst OC personality disorder is about having difficulty with making decisions and an obsession with routine or something.

    I'm high on obsessive-compulsiveness. I hate it. A lot. The limbic system theory is intriguing, i'll check it out.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Earwax has a very interesting and unique taste, I must say.

    ReplyDelete
  6. M.E. you lost me at Hummus and Palm Hearts.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sometimes I think people mistake routine or stubborn personal preference for OCD. I know so many people that are like 'oh i'm totally OCD about this thing, I have to have it a certain way'... but there's no debillitating indecision, no stomach wrenching anxiety that makes it feel like the world is about to end if you don't have something a certain way. It's held out like a point of pride that they have a mental hang up.

    Why do people think this particular kind of disorder is 'cool', I wonder?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So many people say "I'm Anal anout this" and i wonder if an Anal-Retentive person would have got that correct. ..��





      Delete
  8. Medusa, don't explain, learn baby, learn, learn, learn, learn, how retard are you, ain't zwang but zhawq


    Summary for the unaware:
    Medusa said...
    I already explained this earlier.

    when puree said:
    unless you are trying to annoy Zhawq your constantly calling him Zwang is definitely a psycho thing.

    ReplyDelete
  9. logical or psycho-logicalMarch 21, 2011 at 6:56 AM

    ME,

    Sorry to say but the situation you describe does not really fit obsessive compulsive behavior. All we see is

    -needing to store too much food if one chooses to go for shopping only once in a while (the alternative is to enjoy fresh food, and be willing to go for grocery shopping once a week)

    -indecisiveness when faced with many alternatives that are in a black box. How can you know how anyone rye bread will taste like? Heck, get all seven, taste them immediately and compare, decide which one/two are your favorite, keep those and only buy those from them on, give the five/six that are leftovers to homeless or take them to a party.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Kesu said...
    This is kinda the black pen blue pen scenario. People who have no emotions can't make a decision between the two.

    Interesting...

    Does this suggest sociopaths would be indecisive since they have less emotions... Or, maybe this is more based on type of decision making?

    Sociopaths would be indecisive when deciding what to take home

    and

    Empaths deciding what to give away (think clutter, and attachment to that little stone you picked at Niece)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Curious... I've never been indecisive about those kind of things. Health wise I make very quick and rough calculations as to what I need (protein, carbohydrate, fibre, vitamins, etc.) In terms of taste, I'll buy one thing, if I don't like it, next time I'll buy a different one. I don't have the patience to stand there for 15 minutes deciding what may or may not be better based on things like descriptions that are never really accurate.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Psychopaths come off as irrational a lot of the time because we aren't good planners, we are pretty scatter brained. That's why psychopathic leaders need level headed people to come up with statistics etc..

    ReplyDelete
  13. i'm not OCD but if there is a logically superior way to do something then of course i will do it that way time and time again.

    M.E.'s survey showed that most with socio traits eat to survive.

    when samples of product ranges are given out in e.g. a supermarket, if there are 3 different flavours to choose from then people are much more likely to buy one (be confident they made the best decision) than if there were 5 options.
    one of the problems with people today is that they are told they can do anything they want with their lives, this leads to paralysing indecision and unhappiness for many.

    wrt black pen / blue pen, i don't think i have a favourite anything... and i am pretty ambivalent about most options, which led to my being apparently indecisive in the past - i would be likely to defer to someone else's preference. now i am usually more decisive because if i don't care either way, then why waste time on the decision?

    ReplyDelete
  14. indecisive seeks advice from the hatedMarch 21, 2011 at 8:01 AM

    someone was asking for how to turn weaknesses into strengths. here is a mild example of that.

    a relatively socio friend who was indecisive generally but still committed to making his own decisions at the end developed this thought that people appreciated his calling them for advice. so, with each stupid indecisive process he'd call someone appropriate. for food it would be his mother (sure enough, mother was bragging around how his son calls her often and asks her advice, he never really paid attention but he kept her talking on the phone, feeling needed). i don't want to give too much on him but basically his graduate studies advisor, different professors in the department would occasionally have him approach them with the kinds of advice inquiry they felt only they could give. since he already volunteered to them that he is indecisive on these matters people were not taken aback when he was not really following any of the advice. He'd also make it a point to ask advice of people he liked the least. It worked. These people eventually contacted him whenever they saw any kind of opportunity he was barely qualified for.

    ReplyDelete
  15. a quote you'll hear a sociopath say sometimes "you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet"

    ReplyDelete
  16. what do you guys feel when you watch execution/murder videos? i feel nothing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I mostly feel nothing I feel a grin creeping across my face occasionally.-a

      Delete
  17. Sociopathic ways to go shopping? This fucking place is getting ridiculous now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahaha. That's true.

      Delete
    2. I like the ridiculousness of it. Its very interesting to me. The details offer insight. Our thoughts become words, words become actions, and actions become our reputation/legacy.

      Delete
  18. i agree with misanthrope, you people are too orderly and proper to be sociopaths. sociopaths are overly aggressive, not all the time but aggression and intimidation is a part of their personalities.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Do you think there is a connection between psychopathy and never being sick? I can't remember the last time i got a cold or a stomach bug, and I have no allergies. My diet is shit too.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Is anyone a perfectionist?

    ReplyDelete
  21. "sociopaths are overly aggressive, not all the time but aggression and intimidation is a part of their personalities."

    Oh really? So you "know" a few eh? How's that working out for ya?

    And yeah M.E., I certainly wouldn't come down on you and say the blog went to shit. I don't think it has, but seriously now... Palm Hearts and Hummus? What's next, artichoke pizza? You need to live a little bit. Go eat a greasy burger WITH cheese and not fucking goat cheese, or have a cheat day once a week from your diet. Or something. I mean cmon man! You get payed to eat that?

    ReplyDelete
  22. i am a perfectionist. then what?

    ReplyDelete
  23. ME, don't listen to these people. I am impressed with your diet, the only problem is you assign higher importance to less trips (saving on transportation and cost of items and time?) than quality (eating fresh food all the time).

    Reprioritize. If you like fresh food, always eat fresh food, life is too short. But, you get a high note an exotic and good food, also the rye bread.

    Low-functioning socios are all for burgers and pizza (especially you know where). Their tire bellies will start forming after 30, no escape.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Sociopaths are aggressive, cold and if in power war mongering.

    ReplyDelete
  25. A good body is a good mind, but not a good personality.

    ReplyDelete
  26. "Sociopathic ways to go shopping?"

    lol

    ReplyDelete
  27. So is lying and faking being socialized. When you take away all the attachments what is left for a person? Winning surviving entertainment. Some on here tend towards aimless aggression and some hide their aggressive sides. Just remember that everyone on here isn't a S.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you have any ambition you have aggresion. There are levels of sociopathy just like empathy. Everyone has lied to get ahead. I have seen socio's give significant. Money away without acknowledgement so there is some relatability there if not "true" ... whatever.

      Delete
  28. 'Just remember that everyone on here isn't a S.'

    yup, including you.

    ReplyDelete
  29. O no anon called me out. That means I'm going to have to prove... Wait it doesn't mean shit and I don't give a fuck. I don't care about the label. I'd be fine with being a singular existence.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Oh, I'm sorry Anon. I forgot that I'm low functioning because I eat pizza and burgers. My mistake, but it's a good thing you're here to take my place because fuck both of your diets lol. Go save some whales while you're at it, for every whale you save I'll kill two. Maybe you should do what you already do best and just focus on yourself and nobody else.

    ReplyDelete
  31. But I may as well tell you all that I am indeed an S, although it doesn't mean shit to me obviously.

    ReplyDelete
  32. ^Least you've gotten better at mimicking me.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I don't have to prove myself to you people. I know I'm an S because I feel nothing almost all of the time. I have practically zero emotions.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Alright, this thread is getting ridiculous. Must I remind you all that every personality trait does not have to be related to sociopathy. Not everything in your life is about your diagnosis. Burgers and pizza? Come on. That's more of a pick-your-battles sort of decision, or lack of respect for your body if that is all you eat.

    This particular blog post, I don't think, really has all that much to do with sociopathy in any direct way.

    I know so many people that are like 'oh i'm totally OCD about this thing'

    It's true that this is bandied about by people all over the place. I don't know if it's so much about mental problems being cool, though. It's kind of the same as when people used to say "oh fuck, I'm such a retard!" when they do something stupid.

    And it is true that there is a difference between OCD and simply being obsessed with order, economy and efficiency.

    Also, you people who relate indecisiveness to lack of emotions: eh. No cigar there. My 42 your old brother is the sort to call Mommy anytime he has to make any decision. (Not so much these days because he has a girlfriend now for that.) Our family laughs about the one time my sister spent a half hour deciding whether to buy a $1 steering wheel cover. And then there is me. We are all pretty sensitive.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I think it's funny some of you go off about being defined by a label ("Everything is not so black and white! blah blah blah..), but then you take every stupid thing and somehow relate it to said label. No matter how roundabout your logic needs to be to get there, when half the time there is a more logical and normal explanation, if there even need to be one.

    ReplyDelete
  36. "Alright, this thread isgetting ridiculous. Must I remind you all that every personality trait does not have to be related to sociopathy. Not everything in your life is about your diagnosis."

    Exactly. I don't stop and think about why I'm doing something I just do it. I'm not trying to fit the label its just that one day I realised that the label fitted me because of the way I behave. When I got to the shop its because I'm hungry and I need to get some food. It's not complicated.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I'm not trying to fit the label its just that one day I realised that the label fitted me because of the way I behave.

    This bears repeating.

    Some people, though, go stupid after diagnosis and then go backwards and try to fit the label. Even if it's somewhat unconscious, as a way of making sense of the world. (This is why some psychiatrists/psychologists feel it is detrimental to tell people their diagnosis, especially when they are young.)

    The label fits them, maybe, but then they keep going and try fit into the label. Funny how a simple word can create a boundary around someone like that.

    Now that is what I call weakness.

    ReplyDelete
  38. In conclusion: diagnosis for many of you seems to be a learned helplessness.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Medusa once again you are the voice of reason and I agree with you, except for the way "burger's and pizza" is becoming a label rather than an option. Why is it we're going to extremes assuming I eat both on a daily basis as opposed to just sometimes? In contrast, I was (foolishly) highlighting that it MIGHT be a good idea to try one occasionally as opposed to 27 jars of Palm Hearts as M.E. clearly stated being under the assumption people will pin him down as an asperger's shopper accordingly

    I'm not suggesting everyone eat burger's and pizza ALL the time, what I'm suggesting is for a person SO far gone into obsessive dieting to try a burger w/ cheese ONCE a week. Or whatever, once a week .

    Go enjoy life JUST a little. Not too much but just a little bit.

    I would know, I had/have an eating disorder accompanied with my personality disorder.

    ReplyDelete
  40. 'In conclusion: diagnosis for many of you seems to be a learned helplessness'

    nah, not really. I don't think you get it. Do you feel left out or something? I don't get your gripe with it. I don't care either. Many people find self-understanding through a diagnosis, and are further damaged by not being diagnosed.

    You aren't right Medusa. You speak with an air of authority on pretty much most things and yet you really don't have the full experience to do so.

    ReplyDelete
  41. No, anon, I mostly agree with you. I was referring mostly to the fool that said, "Low-functioning socios are all for burgers and pizza."

    However, maybe M.E. used to eat all kind of crap and he has paid for it, so now he's trying to be healthy. Maybe he has some amount of respect for himself and his body. Maybe he understands that what you eat can have a huge effect on the rest of your day and your life and your energy levels. And maybe he does treat himself to burgers and shit every once in a while. We don't know.

    Also, he did mention that he has "particular dietary needs".

    If you have, say, IBS and you are eating burgers and shit all the time, that may point to a certain amount of self-hate, or at least self-disregard, or dissassociation.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Medusa already stated she had problems, so why are people still listening to her dumb rants?

    ReplyDelete
  43. the only people who might take it as such are those already prone to helplessness. But even they learn the hardships involved and that there are better ways to go.
    I dont think socios would have that problem though.

    ReplyDelete
  44. "If you have, say, IBS and you are eating burgers and shit all the time, that may point to a certain amount of self-hate, or at least self-disregard, or dissassociation."

    Shut up you tool, self hate? Food that is bad for you tastes better it isn't about self hate,

    ReplyDelete
  45. Many people find self-understanding through a diagnosis, and are further damaged by not being diagnosed.

    I see you are joining the "attack Medusa whenever possible" party here as of late.

    I agree with you. I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT EVERYBODY.

    Your defensiveness makes me think that maybe you fear that you have the problem I am referring to. Not saying that this is necessarily the case, but your defensiveness sure isn't helping, as it sounds like you are taking it as a personal attack.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Anon, you are an idiot.

    Notice the word 'may' in the quote you refer to. Notice how I gave more than one option. My point is that there are other options that may make more sense than simply 'sociopathy'.

    ReplyDelete
  47. the only people who might take it as such are those already prone to helplessness.

    Agreed.

    ReplyDelete
  48. no, but you do seem to lack a bit of empathy and understanding of others that comes with that.
    Btw, i dont hide the way i am. So what i'm defending is insight.
    I'm not attacking you whenever possible, i just see an error and correct it.

    I just recalled that you said the same thing about aspies ages ago. Kind of a pattern.

    ReplyDelete
  49. me has a poor eye for spotting sociopath he named this artist as a possible sociopath when he was a sensitive self injuring drug addicted faggot like johnny depp.

    ReplyDelete
  50. A pattern? It seems like you are trying to get at something, but what, exactly? Why would what I am saying here about sociopathy or BPD or whatever not also refer to other disorders?

    That's like saying because I think breakfast sausage patties taste awful, that saying breakfast sausage links also taste awful points to a 'pattern'.

    It's like, duh.

    Why do you think I don't care for any diagnosis, nor am I attached to any diagnosis I might actually fit into?

    ReplyDelete
  51. or fag jimmy morrison




    wv: urpro (thank you)

    ReplyDelete
  52. Medusa has her internet war suit on.

    ReplyDelete
  53. 'Why do you think I don't care for any diagnosis, nor am I attached to any diagnosis I might actually fit into?'

    i dunno. Maybe you see it all as an excuse to continue behaving antisocially and maladaptively. ?

    ReplyDelete
  54. I see it the other way around, notme.

    Diagnosis is often the best excuse there is.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Without a diagnosis, I cannot lay responsibility for "behaving antisocially and maladaptively", as you see it, on a label.

    It's all on me.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Shut up you tool, self hate? Food that is bad for you tastes better it isn't about self hate

    ReplyDelete
  57. i think you misunderstand the point of a diagnosis for the individual concerned. It's a description of their behaviour and offers the route to awareness.
    My life is a lot better now i understand myself in this way, and can help others in my life to understand. I still carry the entirety of responsiblity on my own.

    it's still 'all on me' too. In fact, I see that moreso than before the diagnosis.

    ReplyDelete
  58. an important sidenote. The attitude you show towards this issue is what leads to a terrible amount of under-diagnosing. Under-diagnosing leaves a lot of sick people by the wayside.

    ReplyDelete
  59. @ Medusa why would you need to lay responsibility on it or are you saying those who have the label use it as such?

    ReplyDelete
  60. "you do seem to lack a bit of empathy"
    Newsflash: person on socio site accused of lacking empathy!
    lol

    ReplyDelete
  61. This is an extreme example, but I have this half sister-in-law who's always on Facebook all like "I have BP, BPD, depression, agoraphobia, bipolar, RGHYE, HGGH, ADHD, etc. etc. Why does no one give me unconditional love, why does everyone fuck me over all the time, I blame mom and dad for everything, drama drama drama, blah blah blah blah."

    It makes everyone uncomfortable, but she can't see it. It's soo soo desperate, I've never seen anything like it.

    I feel for her, but it's really pathetic. She's not one of those people who uses her diagnoses to help herself, but instead uses them to keep herself trapped in her own prison. She only posts pictures of herself when she was really really hot in her twenties, even though she's still incredibly beautiful in her 40s. Most of her current pictures are blurry and she covers her face with her hair to the point that she looks like It, or something. She has a kid that it seems she has no custody of, and she's always telling facebook how much she truly loves her "with all her heart", instead of just fucking telling her kid. She comes off as totally batshit insane and I people are weirded out.

    A few days ago she was all "help help help" and I just couldn't take it anymore and I had to tell her, in a very kind and succinct way, that she needs to take responsibility for herself. And to not expect unconditional love from or for anyone else unless she can provide that for herself. She expects the "Goddess" to take responsibility for her. It was the best and only help I could give her.

    She's been silent ever since.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Anyone who shows arrogance on here will be dismissed, there are too many egos to be wounded.

    ReplyDelete
  63. medusa you will fall in the name of my father ALLAHU AKHBAR!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  64. Ok I see what you are getting at Medusa. So, why not use it yourself? Why deny yourself a useful tool? If people are going to let you get away with something because you have a label then why not use the label to your advantage? Doesn't matter if you let the label define you or not.

    ReplyDelete
  65. as i see it:
    medusa's point
    some people look to a diagnosis as a way of avoiding personal responsibility for who they are.

    notme's point
    some people find a diagnosis reassuring - knowing that a group of symptoms fits them, knowing there are others like them, and knowing that despite really wanting to change and be someone else there is a reason why that battle is difficult.

    is that a fair summary?
    what are your little OCD things? i'm sure you both have a few.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Medusas argument is flawed, that's like saying a non sociopath can murder a person and not flinch, simply by telling themselves they are a sociopath, that's were a conscience comes in.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Tell yourself something enough it might just become the truth.

    ReplyDelete
  68. If you want to know who a true psychopath is look at Gaddafi, enough said.

    ReplyDelete
  69. what the damn is going on in the world right now? World war three anyone?

    Anyway, Kesu, i don't think it works like that. You have to see it from the perspective of the person with the label. I have plenty of potential labels, OCPD being another. But one is enough to get the point across and it's quite the catch-all dx too. Ultimately, people STILL don't take all my crap Kesu even now they know. People continue to be the same. They don't all become understanding and perfect and generous overnight. LOL.

    Res - yeah, your summary of what i said is right on.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Yes, Res, I think that's correct.

    Both points are valid and true.

    And it's not like I'm not guilty of using whatever label when it's convenient (like yesterday when I kept going on and on about music "in true Asperger's fashion", although I meant it in a "I'm totally OCD about this and that" kind of way that Haven was talking about earlier).

    OCD, yeah I got some issues. I'm a neat freak and outrageously organized about stuff to the point of anal retentiveness. Perfectionist to the point where I'm sometimes nearly paralyzed and it effects my productivity.

    Probably the best example of true OCD tendencies has resulted in a lovely scar on my chin. Don't really want to get into that.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Psychopath face off: Col. Gaddafi vs Saddam Hussein, who was/is worse?

    ReplyDelete
  72. Notme, I don't trust you when you talk about your changes making your life better. I don't think most people here would believe you understand yourself enough to make any claims as such even if they cared. Having already informed you of the consequences in your thought process, have you began to see it yourself? Did you ever REALLY follow your own thoughts through to conclusion? Maybe you should get to know yourself a little better before jumping onto the psychology bandwagon and throwing out a diagnosis.

    And yes, this IS a blog that when empathy comes into question one SHOULD reflect upon it as having a lack there of.

    Oh and don't worry Medusa. Lest you be in the group I mention yourself, they're all just angry since upon contracting herpes they've nothing better to do than talk to you on a blog and bitch about it because you're the last antisocial on the planet who'll listen and respond. Damn you Medusa. Damn you!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  73. Tell yourself something enough it might just become the truth.

    I've certainly done this to myself in the past. Definitely.

    I've even done it to others.

    ReplyDelete
  74. @ anon. Saddam was worse.

    ReplyDelete
  75. @notme But I'm sure it allows you some flexibility with the majority of people around you.

    ReplyDelete
  76. I have issues with decision making overwhelm at times. Usually unimportant things. It's annoying and presents itself as a weakness. Reminds me life is about power and powerlessness.

    I do enjoy the weakness into strengths topic. It's kinda primary with the kind of wiring attracted to this blog.

    I enjoy the pleasure in everything yet I tend to eat and shop for regulated brain power and mood. Obsessive about exercise. Love the endorphins, tight butt and again better brain blood flow. Great for aggression. The ZoneDiet concept ended my throwing things outbursts.

    I think this OCD shopping issue could be fixed with a pill. Saw the film LIMITLESS last night.

    Total male fantasy flick. Sociopathic strengths in a pill without the self-sabotage side effects.

    Ha! This collective would be dangerous on that drug, and it would clear up all this limpic processing indecision end all the anxiety.

    Get on it you mad chemists!

    ReplyDelete
  77. Medusa said...
    This is an extreme example, but I have this half sister-in-law who's always on Facebook all like "I have BP, BPD, depression, agoraphobia, bipolar, RGHYE, HGGH, ADHD, etc

    I understand people having a need to specify half-sister. But you actually call her your half sister-in-law. How weird are you? The queen of the century who needs to be defined away from this irresponsible weakling. Fuck it, it's sister-in-law already. Relax! And just because you have one case in front of you, why do you keep making generalizations that people start living their diagnosis shit? Of course it can happen, so what? Here and there.

    There are certain advantages and disadvantages to everything in life. Notme is trying to focus on what comes good with diagnosis, and you totally opposite. When one is a perfectionist one is overly bothered with negative results, like your attitude to this weakling HALF sister-in-law.

    Get a grip.

    ReplyDelete
  78. I'm interested in the weakness-into-strength stuff, too.

    UKan was really good about understanding that stuff.

    While my perfectionism causes issues, it's also a strength in that my output with everything I do manage to accomplish is of very high quality. Still, a little balance wouldn't hurt.

    Same thing with my very obsessive tendencies. Makes me insane sometimes, but it's also a source of my fire. It's terrible in certain aspects of my life, wonderful in others. I guess it's just a matter of funneling stuff into the right medium as best I can, and keeping away from letting it funnel into the wrong areas.

    ReplyDelete
  79. That 12:32 anon post was me.

    Great debate today. Can't play now.working.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Pasteris, she's the half-sister of my brother's wife.

    Do you get it now?

    ReplyDelete
  81. Medusa is a UKan ass kisser, she even uses UKan's "ha ha", instead of "haha.

    ReplyDelete
  82. For all we know UKan is making up all these stories. HELLO! It's the interweb.

    ReplyDelete
  83. Anon i don't trust that you don't trust me since you have no name. It helps the continuity if you give us a fixed name.

    Kesu, um, no, cos they don't know about it. They just see a girl who behaves a bit different than before.

    Res, um yeah, i have some. I'm a perfectionist, control freak. But the reverse of that is a total lack of care. I used to count my steps a lot. I have high anxiety which is OCPD. I don't really have any classic OCD. But, i'm not great with change sometimes. I dunno. tough question. I can't think great right now.

    ReplyDelete
  84. HALF sister-in-lawMarch 21, 2011 at 12:45 PM

    Talk:half sister-in-law

    Definitions 4 and 5 seem quite odd at first reading.
    The possible permutations I can see for a half-sister-in-law are:
    A. The half-sister of someone's husband. (The current definition #1)
    B. The half-sister of someone's wife. (The current definition #2)
    C. The (opposite-sex) wife of someone's half-brother. (The current definition #3)
    D. The (same-sex) wife of someone's half-sister. (This possible definition is not included, possibly intentionally)
    E. The (same-sex) wife of the half sister of someone's husband. (This is the meaning, even if unintentional, of the current definition #4)
    F. The (same-sex) wife of the half sister of someone's wife. (This is the meaning, even if unintentional, of the current definition #5)
    G. The (opposite-sex) wife of the half brother of someone's husband. (This definition is not included, however, I suspect this was originally intended to be the meaning of definition #4)
    H. The (opposite-sex) wife of the half brother of someone's wife. (This definition is not included, however, I suspect this was originally intended to be the meaning of definition #5)
    This isn't the place to debate the legitimacy of same-sex spousal arrangements, and personally I wouldn't want to dispute them the first place. However, I would argue that all the definitions could be reduced as follows:
    1. The half-sister of someone's spouse. (Covers current definitions 1 and 2)
    2. The wife of someone's half-sibling. (Covers current definition 3, as well as the omitted possible definition D)
    3. The wife of the half-sibling of someone's spouse. (Covers current definitions 4 and 5, as well as the omitted possible definitions G and H)

    ReplyDelete
  85. I've used "ha ha" maybe once. Usually I prefer "heh".

    Doesn't matter if what UKan is saying is true or not, that's not the poimt. Sometimes he's a delusional dumbass, sometimes he has something good to say.

    Just like everyone else here.

    God, you guys are really trying hard.

    ReplyDelete
  86. LOL, give "us" a fixed name???

    That's a good one. As I said before you arrived here, nobody has the luxury of knowing who I am, not that I assume it's a luxury to be had.

    At least you can make me laugh :)

    Res, it was nice seeing you here again.

    ReplyDelete
  87. I could pull up a few times when you've said it. Don't embaress yourself, admit to being a pathetic sychophant.

    ReplyDelete
  88. If you really think the use of "ha ha" is a good and convincing support of your point, I feel sorry for you.

    I suppose I should never mention when anyone says anything worthwhile ever again? Only point out people's flaws, like you, even if it takes a lot of mental and reality stretching?

    Yeah, no thanks. I'm not that weak.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Now we know that medusa won't ever be the victim of a narc.

    ReplyDelete
  90. "Ultimately, people STILL don't take all my crap Kesu even now they know."

    "Kesu, um, no, cos they don't know about it. They just see a girl who behaves a bit different than before."

    Which is it? Do they know or not know?

    ReplyDelete
  91. True life: Medusa has a dick.

    ReplyDelete
  92. notme you seem like a rather normal poser to me if i ever met ytou i would probably get so annoyed with you i would beat your ass till your whole body was limp and then i would rape you...just sayin

    ReplyDelete
  93. A narc would need therapy after dating Mandusa

    ReplyDelete
  94. 'notme you seem like a rather normal poser to me'

    well that makes me happy. haha, i seem normal to you? great. Then I am.

    Kesu, both. The people close to me know. The rest do not.

    ReplyDelete
  95. hey Medusa, funny, i have a scar on my chin too, and yes, cos of my perfectionism. I burnt it with the wrong cream cos my skin was flaking once. nice.

    I hate make-up, but now i wear a thin foundation to blend it in.

    ReplyDelete
  96. I have a scar under my moustache.

    ReplyDelete
  97. A sociopath doesn't really have the opportunity to put everything on a diagnoses though. We're made to take responsibility for our actions and can't use it as an excuse.
    Personally diagnosis was a realisation of my differences, but more importantly, of my weaknesses. And an opportunity to understand and avoid or use them to my advantage.

    ReplyDelete
  98. I'd reckon we're not that far between age wise, M.E., and yet I don't experience problems with indecision.

    Other than that I think you're just doing the smart thing, buying what you do and eating in the order that you do.

    I eat almost the same food everyday, not because I love it, but because I have a lot of other things that means more to me and I can't be arsed to go and get new, different foods for each day like most people apparently do.

    It's not palm hearts with me, it's banana.

    Like most of the other posters I don't see this as OCD, but only you know what happens inside you when you get into these situations.

    The indecision may be a little strange, but hey, everybody have something that isn't quite like everybody else.

    You just stick with the warehouse, pal! That's why it's good with variety - it's just another kind:

    There're warehouses AND grocery stores, so that we have a choice to pick which fits our preference.

    ReplyDelete
  99. No no no no, not normal just like a normal poser...you know those sad people who have no meaning in life and we wouldnt care if they died so they pose as something there not and try to be "cool" yes that is you a poser

    ReplyDelete
  100. Is it suddenly cool to be BPD? i had no idea.
    Is that the new 'trend?'~

    ReplyDelete
  101. Notme, I think for something to be trendy, people have to know about it. I don't suppose many people are aware of BPD, including little Em-T here.

    ReplyDelete
  102. Mandusa said...
    I have a scar under my moustache.

    March 21, 2011 1:30 PM

    ReplyDelete
  103. zhawq, banana split? no apple?

    ReplyDelete
  104. A sociopath doesn't really have the opportunity to put everything on a diagnoses though. We're made to take responsibility for our actions and can't use it as an excuse.

    Yeah, that's bullshit. Plenty of proof on this blog (and in your comment, even) that it's not true, same as that it's not true for any other disorder or condition. No more, no less.

    Personal responsibility is dependent on the individual, not the diagnosis.

    "Made to take responsibility". What a joke.

    ReplyDelete
  105. Vaknin believes that narcissism is an evolved or mutated form of PTSD, makes sense.

    ReplyDelete
  106. agreed with medusa. it's well known that sociopaths almost never take responsibility for there actions. they shift the blame onto other people or simply deny any wrong doing. from what i've heard from a couple of the sociopaths on this blog though, it seems that they're well aware of the impact that their actions have on other people, but still don't except responsibility or care.

    ReplyDelete
  107. I didn't say we didn't try to squirm our way out of it. But we don't (in everyday life) have the opportunity to say, being accused of something and being faced with the punishment, "My ASPD made me do it", sociopathy doesn't cut it as an excuse, at least, not where I come from. We just have to manipulate and deceive our way out of it. If responsibility just means feeling guilty, well that's not really relevant.

    ReplyDelete
  108. I think sociopathy should be a class sophomore year. That would even out the playground a bit. I wish I learned about the tricks often presented on this site. I wish in religion classes they talked about different forms of evil that waits for us. I never understood what the heck this evil, satan, etc. was, to me it was like monsters, made up characters in story books. Now I finally mean something when I say evil, and that ain't a fictitious character.

    I took out a flower pot this morning and a passer-by neighbor throws his cigarette stub in there. All his, his entitlement, I wish I saw who he was so I could arrange for a flat tire and leave the stub by the tire.

    ReplyDelete
  109. sheens pray for rebirth lolMarch 21, 2011 at 4:40 PM

    Martin Sheen understands the "hell" son Charlie Sheen is going through.

    He believes that Charlie, despite being 45, is still "emotionally" a child. "Because when you're addicted, you don't grow emotionally. So. when you get clean and sober you're starting at the moment you started using drugs or alcohol," the actor tells the U.K's Telegraph magazine. "You're emotionally crippled."

    Sheen, 70, has been through similar difficulties, he concedes: "I know what hell he's living in. I've had psychotic episodes in public. One of them was on camera – the opening scene of Apocalypse Now. ... I know what Charlie is going through. And when you do something like that, that is out of control, that's the most difficult thing. You have to have courage."

    Courage and faith are required, adds the committed Catholic, whose latest movie, The Way, costars his son Emilio Estevez, 48, who also wrote and directed the father-son drama.

    "Faith can help all of us. Addiction is the dark side. It's a reflection of despair. And it's fed by all the other negativity," Sheen tells the magazine, a supplement to the Daily Telegraph newspaper.

    Estevez, meanwhile, is optimistic his brother can beat his problems. "There's always hope, and there are so many examples of people pulling themselves out of the sh-- and having a rebirth," he told The Sunday Times. "So you just pray for him and hope he has that moment of clarity."

    ReplyDelete
  110. Why do women wear glasses? It looks awful..

    ReplyDelete
  111. aphstro, that sounds like something a socio would say.
    never forget it takes all types to make the world go round. go back to your church for more brainwashing.
    as an interesting aside, my real name is an anagram of "saddam and lucifer". nice eh?

    ReplyDelete
  112. 'Evil' or 'Satan' is just a symbol for a certain aspect of life. Like when people say something is 'black' or 'white'. Just words, images, meant to convey something beyond what is represented. One doesn't exist without the other. People who take this dualism concept too literally have problems.

    I don't think aphstro meant it in a Christian/brainwashing way, but I could be wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  113. Why do some folks think they are bad ass for not believing
    God? I am agnostic but I don't look down on religious people, I mean sure they are idiots but I don't care enough to criticise them, I'm indifferent to blacks, old people religious people etc.

    ReplyDelete
  114. You got it Medusa. I did not at all meant anything religious, I'm totally agnostic. They don't teach anything useful in there. What I am after is practical life skills, and I don't see that complete without understanding sociopathy, empathy, etc.

    I also agree that good-evil duality need to be taught somewhere in the curriculum, but not in the abstract, using specific cases. This could also be done in history classes, geography classes. They hardly make people think in these classes.

    My ten year old niece brought Henry up, she appeared to get a kick out of the fact that in the class they told them the guy had his wives decapitated. Ensuing discussion between the two of us was what I wish I had when I was her age.

    ReplyDelete
  115. This whole Sheen thing gets more and more interesting, just when I thought it was getting old.

    Martin is correct. Light to the dark.

    ReplyDelete
  116. i'm meat hungry today. just gobbled up eight turkey necks.

    ReplyDelete
  117. I just ate some breakfast sausage patties.

    True story.

    BUT LINKS STILL SUCK.~

    ReplyDelete
  118. oh damn it to fucking hell. I'm hyper right now. And i don't want to be...... grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
    arghhhhhhh

    ReplyDelete
  119. One time I had to drive my friends girlfriend from the train station back to his apartment. I was half drunk and I was driving pretty fast. She got all worked up and then she asked me if i'd been drinking. I think she smelt it. I didn't even answer the question, I just broke the news that I didn't even technically have licence. I said it in a joking sort of way, but being a complete bitch she didn't find it funny. She told me to pull over so that she could drive but I wouldn't let her. She kept on arguing with me and the more she argued the faster I drove. By the time we got to the apartment she was almost in tears. She told my friend(her boyfriend) all about it. I told her that he new I had been drinking and that I didn't have licence so the whole thing was his fault. A few weeks later when everything was patched up, she told the story to some other people. They all looked shocked so I just said "hey I'm a fucking sociopath, what can you do?". Everyone laughed.

    Hows that for using it as an excuse, tn?

    ReplyDelete
  120. reminds me the guy who would not pull over as we were begging him to, finally hitting a bus head on. the front passengers bleeding to death, except the socio driver.

    So, good for you, man, if you are lucky you may be able to kill a few people and yourself walk away. these things have a working out for you, you know.

    ReplyDelete
  121. That's ... bizarre, ME.

    I understand shopping out of habit and whatnot, I used to do it for someone when I bought them groceries, but this is something on a different level.

    For me, when I go shopping, I get what I want. I know what's good, and if I want to try something new, I'll usually get what looks to be the best bang for the buck. I can't begin to imagine getting anxiety over shopping. I bought my last car in less than two hours. How the hell you can spend five minutes picking out bread sounds absurd. Different strokes, I guess.

    It seems like even SW has a case of the Mondays...

    ReplyDelete
  122. I'm very naive when it comes to shopping, I want the juiciest best looking product there is and if I'm convinced well enough, I could buy it there and then, I spend money like it's nothing because I've always been given it. I have no respect for money.

    ReplyDelete
  123. adam when are you gonna start your damn blog? you keep going on about it...

    ReplyDelete
  124. I spend money like it's nothing because I've always been given it. I have no respect for money.

    Children rarely do.

    ReplyDelete
  125. I was hyper earlier, so I went to yoga. Only like like 3rd or 4th time I've done it. It's like weed, but doesn't burn holes in your brain.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Seems I can't post comments without at least one egregious typo anymore. That's weed for ya.

    ReplyDelete
  127. 21 isn't a child. You are right though, I refuse to grow up.

    ReplyDelete
  128. You're still wet behind the ears, regardless of how the law classifies your citizenship.

    ReplyDelete
  129. Haha okay, whatever floats your boat.

    ReplyDelete
  130. "A good body is a good mind, but not a good personality"

    LMFAO and I don't even know why.

    ReplyDelete
  131. gosh you people are retarded sometimes. reading comprehension is lost on some i see. the whole point of this article was to evelatuate M.E's obsession with order, and sociopathy. not all sociopaths i would imagine, are chaotic or aggressive. some are orderly to the point of obsession. this article is not about. this post was not meant for you to focus on hummus and palm hearts. think people, think.

    ReplyDelete
  132. 'Your defensiveness makes me think that maybe you fear that you have the problem I am referring to. Not saying that this is necessarily the case, but your defensiveness sure isn't helping, as it sounds like you are taking it as a personal attack'

    Hey Medusa, i didn't address this properly yesterday. You are right, it is always a fear i have. But that's the beauty of the diagnosis, that i'm now aware of falling into this behaviour. If anything, the diagnosis has forced me to become more mature about myself, trying to draw the line between what is dependent behavior and what isn't. Hope that clarifies it.

    In summary, you can't fathom the things people different to you have to experience and battle everyday, and they certainly do try.

    ReplyDelete
  133. :)

    Half of the stuff I bitch about I've been guilty of myself before.

    I write as much for myself as I do for everyone else.

    ReplyDelete
  134. Anon 9:12:

    "not all sociopaths i would imagine, are chaotic or aggressive. some are orderly to the point of obsession. this article is not about. this post was not meant for you to focus on hummus and palm hearts. think people, think."

    Most psychopaths have co-morbidities (and I guess that could well be the case with Sociopaths too. It's the case with a lot of people).

    The point of how I comment is that I am living this reality myself, it is all I know, and I don't see any reason to treat it as if I saw it any other way.

    That said, I know about Normal People's ways too, and I've learned what OCD is. It doesn't change the fact that I don't see anything particular strange or problematic in M.E>'s way of buying foods, especially not from a psychopathic point of view - nor from a Sociopathic point of view, now that we're insisting on that term here.

    Finally I'll just say that you're right about some posters apparently having focused on other things. But that's how it is on a board with a large group of posters. This blog appeals to many people, not only those on the AsPD spectrum.

    Just let them post as they see fit. Nothing you, or I, or others among those who know what this is about, will change their ways anyway. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  135. People say “a whole aisle of bread,” like it is a good thing, but to me it is horror.

    This was hilarious. I know the feeling.

    ReplyDelete
  136. If your happy with O.C.D. more power to you. The problem is
    when the O.C.D. tyrant starts a family and makes his problems
    their problems.

    ReplyDelete
  137. I used to love going to Target for this reason. Until i mastered it. No data left to mind :(

    ReplyDelete
  138. This post is an entire troll. From Melissa, the owner. What a f word is this? You come here to understand socios and find this stupid discussion about TOC?

    ReplyDelete
  139. I'm not a socio but I have exactly the same reaction to American supermarkets (or whatever you call them), they are hideous. In NY, I found a place in the west village I liked called Balduccis. Fresh food, nicely presented - hope it's still there. If you have time, it's healthier to do a daily or at least regular food shop in local bakeries, butchers etc than to stockpile.

    All of the socios I know have food issues. I think it's because of the constant battle between narcissistic vanity and innate greed. They don't like to have food in the house, just enough for a meal but no more. For neurotypicals, food is bound up in love - feeding, nurturing - so small wonder that socios are uncomfortable around it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All the socios you know?? You dont know anyone! Shut the fuck up!

      Delete
    2. @Anon 8:17 Sore point is it?

      Delete
  140. I do something called organized shopping. First on the list is cheesecake.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mmM love cheesecake. im ocd about the cheesecake.

      Delete
  141. I have wondered about apparent OCD as a trend in sociopaths. I also have it. I could easily spend over an hour at a store (including, but not limited to, grocery stores) browsing and weighing the pros and cons of what to buy. At the grocery store, I look at nutritional labels and compare and contrast each item in a given category/shelf, and try to determine the maximum return (in nutrition, price, and taste). Sometimes I will run mental simulations of the future against real world conditions - to see it being used, and how it affects, at a given moment, and run it against decided (yet flexible) criteria. Sometimes I will conduct additional research, where appropriate (ie. "phone googling").

    I wouldn't say the process is disagreeable. It is a soft compulsion in being appropriately thorough in necessary details - to maximize returns with minimal losses. It is an objective-based analysis.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Coming from a child with a father with OCD I can tell you that isn't OCD Im not sure what it is, overwhelmed by choice.? The same way some people don't know what to eat at a restaurant with a large menu. Too much choice.
    My Father would check the front door after locking it...21 times. Was crazy about how much certain items cost, would blow up if an item was misplaced, even by him. That is OCD

    ReplyDelete
  143. Psychopathy and food are linked in some way, most hollow folks are said to be picky or fussy with food; even ones that eats little goes long ways to diners that serve the type of stuff they prefer that particular day. Explanation: predators care about eating.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or they go to the same place again and again and again.....

      Delete
    2. No, psycho people are like gourmets (even if poor): they pick the diner with the best cheap dishes. These folks get enraged if some "slurping turd" sits at the table beside them cus these turds RUIN THEIR FEEDING-SESSION.

      Delete
    3. MR 17soontobe18 yr old socio
      SO TRUE.

      Delete
  144. Only now are they realizing that I have OCD not schizophrenia. I always assumed OCD was good, ever since I learned this Hawaiian purification ritual. Anyways its not the same anymore now I really have developped some of the negative OCD (the kind most people refer to) but there really is something known as Good OCD....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was worried about you, but you seem like your bouncing back. hugs. xx

      Delete
    2. i have ocd also. we all do sugar. yes good ocd... persevere, don't give up. stick to whats healthy for you. follow docs protocol... and as you age you find what works, and the symptoms do lesson. being grounded in your self-identity is key. find your authentic self. xx

      Delete
  145. One of the ways narcissism can express itself is that everything that is going on with someone has to be a grand event (grandiosity). They can't just have a cold, it has to be the flu. Or, they can't just have a hard time picking out a loaf of rye bread, it has to be a disorder.

    MelissaR

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MR 17soontobe18 yr old socio
      :) it's funny because its true

      Delete
  146. This chick's a sociopath https://www.facebook.com/barbie.corpse

    ReplyDelete
  147. Organic is the only way to shop,

    ReplyDelete
  148. MR 17soontobe18 yr old socio
    WTH? what sociopath enjoys being limited? isn't it the other way around?

    ReplyDelete
  149. I deal with these things by deciding that logically in order to save time I should just pick one at random or go with the most logical decision given the limited amount of information I have processed.

    But I could see myself getting this intense if I was ever seriously bored.

    ReplyDelete

Comments on posts over 14 days are SPAM filtered and may not show up right away or at all.

Join Amazon Prime - Watch Over 40,000 Movies

.

Comments are unmoderated. Blog owner is not responsible for third party content. By leaving comments on the blog, commenters give license to the blog owner to reprint attributed comments in any form.