Thursday, March 28, 2013

Double standard for empathy

Some of my readers have wondered how it can be possible to hurt a sociopath's feelings. In other worlds, given that sociopaths seem so calloused and unemotional, how can their sudden bouts of moodiness and hurt feelings be reconciled with their general icy, insensitive demeanor?

Sociopaths tend to have a double standard for lack of empathy, manipulation, bluntness, lack of manners, and generally people's inability to conform to social norms to avoid becoming a boorish leech. I am known for being very frank and upfront with people, calling things as I see them with little to no attempt to use tact, but I can get very offended when normal people do the same thing back to me. They don't do it right (without the same charm, insight, timing, or finesse), and to me it means something different than when I do it -- typically I don't do it with an intention to hurt. Maybe a good analogy is when a small child hits you or lashes out at you emotionally and you retaliate in kind. The child cannot really control himself -- you can. The child does not really know better -- you do.

If you're in a seemingly loving relationship with a sociopath and he reacts with a lack of empathy at something you have said, it is probably because he is unaware of the need for empathy, or he is trying his hardest but is still coming up short, or he would try but he is too tired, or at the worst, he simply cannot be bothered to summon up the emotional reaction you seek. He is like the child, unable to raise his behavior to that particular standard. When people react that way to him, he correctly recognizes that there is latent hostility in the behavior -- an intentional attempt to slight. He knows how normal people treat each other. If you don't treat him that way, he will wonder why (and probably assume the worst).

I don't cry myself to sleep about people hurting my feelings or otherwise being insensitive to me. I'm sure I deserve it most of the time. But if people are wondering how or why sociopaths could be offended by behavior that the sociopaths themselves seem to engage in almost daily, I think it is a little more complicated than a case of being able to dish it out, but not take it.

140 comments:

  1. I see what you mean but Id like to add that my take on this also is that sociopath's CAN feel, but only for themselves. They can feel very sorry for themeselves, lonely, isolated, insulted, etc. And many have a great deal of insight into the fact that who or "what" they are causes these very things, yet they are (most of them) incapeable of any lasting change. They can be very hurt indeed, if it bursts their bubble of the perfect image they have of themselves.
    PS-Thanks for the Sociopath song of day posts, u know how much I love them..Angie!

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  2. My wife (that's right, she's my wife now) knows how to make me feel upset, and the best way to do that is to ignore me and to be impervious to anything I say or do. In that respect I'm very childish.

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  3. I read this post with great interest. The (female) sociopath I know is quite good at pushing emotional buttons. Before I had realized that she is indeed a sociopath, she said something to me so distasteful about me and my adult son that I was absolutely furious. And interestingly she said it without any emotion whatsoever. I told her that anyone who would believe anything close to what she was saying was truly insane and what she said was absolutely disgusting. And I told her she totally pissed me off. As angry as I was, she reacted with 'I know you're pissed off, I'm just putting this out there'. No emotion. I apparently didn't hurt her feelings. That I will say was the last time I ever wanted to be with this person in any way whatsoever. What her goal was I have no clue.

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    1. What the heck did she say man? You either agree with her, or you know deep down what she said is no big deal and you are embarrassed to share. Why are you so emotional about what she said? Because it's the truth as you see it too and you can't handle the truth? Empaths speak the truth too, stay with the truth, forgive yourself and son for whatever diminished capacity the woman brought out about you.

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    2. I do the same thing to my fiance and don't understand why he gets so upset. WE DON'T UNDERSTAND. And no, we don't feel it. I'd be perfectly fine if he made blunt statements about me to myself, I even try to get him to, but he simply won't (because he doesn't want to hurt me, lol). I told him that I will never garnish my words for him.

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  4. Hi I can absolutely relate to this. I started giving the sociopath that works with me exactly the same treatment he gave me and other unsuspecting women, including exposing him to colleagues. He is running around complaining that he is so hurt and disappointed yet he had no problem doing this to me! what is with that? it seems to me that they are good at dishing it out but they can handle it themselves?

    M

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  5. This post was really enlightening for me. My ex used to tell me all the time "you're so angry." I never understand that until now. I suppose in his mind he could not rationalize my emotional feelings of the hurtful things he did. My backlash to his actions were not logical to him. And yes, now that I think about it, many times my reaction was inspired by a desire to make him feel as hurt as I did.

    This made me "an angry person" in his mind.

    Interesting.

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  6. Your ex may or may not have been hurt; an effective way of controlling people is to convince them that their feelings of anger or hurt are ridiculous and childish, as a way of ensuring they won't question the actions one may have committed to bring about said emotions.

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  7. i am pretty sure it is not the feelings that are hurt, it is the game. if i tell a lie and am caught, i react in an angry way and turn it around on the person. how dare you not trust me? why would you do this? etc etc....then the person ends up apologizes for even doubting me. my feelings arent hurt that i was caught but i'm pissed that all the groundwork i just set up may be in danger....so i just don't feel safe.

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  8. i could be wrong but it seems that in possibly many cases, people with S traits are reactive to untruths in the moment.

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  9. Second time on this website. Found it two weeks ago and finally found the right time and mood to visit again. For my first post (I hope more come in the future), I just wanted to state that I am incredibly appreciative to all of the contributors, with special thanks to "me" the blogger.

    I feel like this is the first time in my life I've had any form of therapy for what I now know is sociopathy.

    Thank you.

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  10. aspie....

    is it really an untruth? i mean it is 'my' reality...a reality that i have created for my 'victim.' what i have been considering lately is, if it is a game that i have to win, am i really winning in the end? "cheaters never win" and i get that statement, am i cheating to win? is it a win at all? or can i consider it a win if it is my reality? i mean isnt the reality the most important? if there is no real win, does it become boring?

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  11. when people react that way to him, he correctly recognizes that there is latent hostility in the behavior. he knows how normal people treat each other. if you don't treat him that way, he will wonder why (and probably assume the worst)

    It's useful for anyone to know how to recognize hostility or passive aggression in order to weed out potential threats/interlopers. Though, there's a difference between recognizing intent and actually being affected by it. My reactions toward hostility are more of a strategic move rather than one based on having been hurt or offended.

    Outward displays of anger are chiefly used to intimidate and establish an external semblance of self-dignity and pride to the "offender", while sadness/tears are used as a method of gaining sympathy and guilt. But, then there are other times where I am genuinely irritated, though that has less to do with feeling hurt than it does with being frustrated when things don't go according to plan.

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  12. hi sociogirl

    what i meant, and maybe you understood and im not getting it, is, that people with s traits are excellent readers of people, they can see what motivates people, and often these things are delusions, untruths. And I think the s traited react to these often with strategy to achieve an ends.

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  13. I don't really get my feelings hurt, but I get angry and frustrated. I won't mope around if someone calls me a fat, bald loser, even if I was one. I might get angry with them for thinking they're entitled to treat me that way, but that's it. In my mind, I'm entitled to treat others however I want, because I always have a reason for everything I do. That reason is justification enough for me. Other people's reasons seem shallow, fake, and misguided to me, so their mistreatment always seems arrogant, stupid, and completely unjustified. I guess it feels like a homeless guy telling me I'm not working hard enough, even if they're right.

    In my mind, I'm the only judge. Everyone else is a monkey until they prove otherwise, if they ever do. That includes people who are smarter than I am. When people prove themselves to me, I can take their criticisms to heart without any ill feelings at all. Actually, I usually feel grateful that they'd risk telling me something that might piss me off.

    Mind you, the above only applies if I think they actually mean it. The behavior has to be abnormal for their baseline attitude, or else it's just noise. Someone who obviously thinks everyone is dumb, calling me dumb with the level of intensity I'd expect from them, wouldn't really phase me, even if they've never overtly called anyone dumb before.

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  14. aspie....i think tho that one with S traits can see through what others think they are hiding about themselves. we can see their true state. the ugly truth. i believe that is why we tend to be "more intelligent" than others. we can read people, see facial expressions (in a microsecond) and read body language and just completely see to the root of a person.

    no one likes to hear the truth, but if you would walk up to someone and completely analyze them to their face and give them what you see, they are astounded at how you even knew that about them. i can say the nice flattering things to inflate the persons ego or if i don't like them completely deflate them as a person (which i sometimes enjoy doing) but for the most part, i go for the flattery because it gets me further.

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  15. @sociogirl - i'm curious how your ability to read and use that information is different than an empaths? i'm not a gifted empath, but i can pretty reliably read people i'm close to, good traits and bad. and could i use that info to hurt? i'm pretty sure my husband would say that i used to use it all the time when we fought (couple's therapy, fighting fair, blah, blah, blah)!

    on the other hand, i often ask for painful truths from empathic friends because i know i need the information to grow. so what's the difference between empaths and sociopaths in this skill?

    -Laine

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  16. I think this reading ability just comes with awareness. When you are present in the moment, you see what happens in the moment. It's like everything is slowed way down and one can see logical flows. You can see how people look at you and influence it rapidly in instant response with a simple designed look back.

    I believe for many the truth is often painful. One of the reasons this is is because we often may be somewhat responsible for our suffering or issues or whatever and it's the last thing anyone with a well defended ego wants to hear.

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  17. awareness....yes. but i also know many are not as aware. their time doesn't slow down to know their next few moves...they are not aware what their companion is thinking and feeling and they are not zoning in on the weakness of others waiting to play their game. many are not bored with the usual crowd (friends) and they are not waiting to indulge themselves in a tangled web for pure enjoyment.

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  18. so it sounds like what you are describing is a kind of awareness with purpose or direction and a view based off of it

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  19. it seems that people with S traits have trust issues... i can relate to that

    sociogirl, i recall u said in another post that you have always been the way you are

    so you have never had any traumatic experiences or been abused/victimized right?

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  20. me said....

    "but if people are wondering how or why sociopaths could be offended by behavior that the sociopaths themselves seem to engage in almost daily, i think it is a little more complicated than a case of being able to dish it out, but not take it."

    maybe it is because an S is reacting to an Ns defended construct while the N is reacting to the Ss prying and illuminating. So to the S, the N is insulting when the N says you are doing this and that and you suck because to the S, this illuminating makes sense and it has truth.. so to the S the N is just mad at having been exposed and is acting like a brat, maybe.

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  21. so the only difference between Ns and Ss being aware is that Ss intend to use their awareness for self gain?

    i'm curious that it seems many posters assume Ns never scheme or manipulate. i think this gets to the core of my confusion of what defines a sociopath. many behaviors i see described are things i've done, and i in no way see myself as an S. i'm wondering what is technically sociopathic and what's just intelligent people dealing with the general population.

    could an S also be angered when their tactics are used against them because it indicates that they read the situation wrong, that maybe they weren't the smartest kid in class at that moment?
    -Laine

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  22. aspie, no i have never been traumatized or abused.

    laine...heres the thing...imagine a game of chess...can u make the winning move right away or do u figure out your moves as well as your opponents? i read my person, find strengths and weakness' then from there see what angle i will take. when an N person is manipulating we'll say at work...u want to manipulate your coworker (competetion) so that you will get the promotion then the N is done with that person.

    what i do is very calculated and takes time and dedication and its only for i guess entertainment purposes rather than personal gain on my part.

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  23. @sociogirl...so to me it sounds like (reads like, whatever) the main difference is motivation? I would manipulate a situation to get on a preferred team or sit next to a certain guy or get a better job assignment - just a few examples. but you would manipulate the situation just for giggles?

    which brings me to something i was thinking about yesterday...do you feel joy, wonder, awe? i don't just mean in human interactions. nature or art often inspires these emotions in me.
    -Laine

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  24. laine....i can't speak for others but unfortunetly no, i have never had a "pure" emotion. i have never had a hobby or interest and have never been (in anothers words) "on fire" for something. i remember talking to my mother about it growing up, i thought i was "defective" as a person. why was i so different from the rest of my family? then once it had a name or label, i realized it may not be a bad thing and perhaps i should become better at it, lol...so thats what i did!

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  25. what is it about parasite photos that i find SO titillating?

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  26. better yet, what is it about the word titillating that i find so titillating? wha hahahah!!

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  27. @sociogirl...does your manipulation of people or situations bring you pleasure? do you feel sexual passion (and feel free to ignore that if it's too personal)?

    i find it interesting that you thought you were 'defective'. that seems to indicate a level of understanding of yourself and others that seems incompatible with sociopathy. i thought most socios would naturally assume there was something defective with everyone else. emotional detachment is not a symptom that is associated only with sociopathy. what other things made this label feel more fitting?
    -Laine

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  28. i wasn't "sad" about being defective, just knew i wasn't like others. i didn't and don't "feel." after i realized this, i started to think about it. i had motivations for showing an emotion. even at a young age. i just wasn't as aware i was doing it.

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  29. i understand that you weren't 'sad', but you use the word 'defective', which indicates you didn't just realize you were different but that you were also 'broken' or 'wrong'. i'm surprised you didn't come to the conclusion that everyone else was 'defective', and you were the only one who could see it.

    i do think children are capable of this. in fact i think the narcissim of early childhood lens itself to this quite nicely. for instance i quite convinced myself in kindergarten that my teacher was an idiot, and i was probably smarter than many adults. of course i still think that...
    -Laine

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  30. lol funny you should say that....i didnt speak to my teacher for the entire year for the same reason. i guess thinking back now, i had many situations like that. i guess i just don't care enough to think about motivations from so long ago. i'm more here and now.

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  31. "for instance i quite convinced myself in kindergarten that my teacher was an idiot, and i was probably smarter than many adults. of course i still think that"

    how do you think and still think you are smarter than them?

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  32. @aspie - i find the general level of knowledge in the average person to be appalling. but worse is the lack of desire to learn and just *think* about something, anything. so many people are quite happy to reguritate whatever pap they've been fed by the media (or church or authority figures, even school) without ever questioning. that's why i think i'm smarter.

    i will also be the first to point out that i often fall victim to this same mistake. but instead of getting defensive and digging my heels in, i want someone to point out where i've made the error (admittedly i don't always like it in the *moment*...) so i can examine my biases.

    maybe i'm not smarter, but when i look back on disagreements i had with teachers (and others) before i had some wisdom earned from experience, i still think many of those teachers were petty and short-sighted.
    -Laine

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  33. Interesting observation. I experienced this quite a lot when I was with a sociopath. She would say hurtful things, things most would avoid saying due to their hurtful nature, as simply matter of fact, that she was just being honest. When I showed my hurt through anger, I was looked at like a crazy person and called "abusive." When I said legitimate complaints about her, she would take them extremely personally like I was attacking her character.

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  34. I think I dated a sociopath and after reading these posts, I'm not pretty certain of it. He was very glib and also had a deep seeded rage that would come out of nowhere. He was a great manipulator and seemed to have empathy until I was caught up in his web of lies. Then he showed his true face. He is incapable of having a relationship because they all end badly with lots of drama. Initially he was the sweetest man and I thought I had met my soul mate. Of course, it was all acting on his part. I can't believe I got conned in by him. Wow! He really threw me for a loop.

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  35. sorry meant to say "I'm pretty certain he was a sociopath in my first sentence.

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  36. What M.E says is interesting and hard to fathom in a practical way. If someone is mean to you, you figure they deserve it back, as they know the "language" of the action they are giving. M.E seems to say that they do not. What do you all think?

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    1. The post is very accurate actually.

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    2. I had an experience with a sociopath. He asked me to do things way beyond what I would do, so I knew that it was over for me. Right at that time, he started calling me names. I let it rip like I usually do not. I reached the same fevered pitch. I called him worse names than he called me. He could not see that if you call people @#@$$#$, they are going to call you the same or worse. I think this is what you all are saying.

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    3. The post is also referring to situations where other people are offensive/rude/"mean" to socios without the socio initiating.

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    4. I agree. I totally relate to M.E's post today, to the extent that I could almost have written it myself, word for word.

      Very few people can hurt my feelings. When it happens, it doesn't last long- certainly not long enough for me to lose any sleep, let alone cry over it. I don't hold grudges and I don't get emotional wounds that require extended nursing. I can take what I dish out.

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    5. Here, here Falter! By the way where is your old friend UKan? Miss him.....

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    6. Why on earth would I have any idea where Ukan might be? He probably just decided that we are all a bunch of wankers, unworthy of his presence, or something like that. Wherever he is, I wish him well.

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    7. He had a terrific sense of humor!

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  37. This post reminds me of something I read on a site about Borderlines: "Having a serious adult conversation with a Borderline, is like trying to get a three year old to comprehend, and rationally respond to the issues at hand. Just when you've worked up the courage to approach a sensitive topic, she deftly diverts the dialogue by starting a fight, or accusing you of not loving her, caring about her feelings, wanting her, etc. At this point, tremendous time and energy is spent consoling/reassuring her, and reinforcing how much you really care! The inevitable upshot? Your original concern is successfully deflected, and any hope for resolution is abandoned. You may adore a child, but you can't have an interdependent adult relationship with one." and "Seventh, if she calls or "checks in" to see how you're doing in the aftermath of this relationship, it's never about you! Your needs didn't matter while she was with you, and they don't matter now. You may feel grateful she seems to care enough to keep the connection alive--but her sole purpose is keeping you around to meet her needs (no matter what she says to the contrary). A three year old hasn't developed any capacity for empathy (that comes much later on), so don't presume that she's calling for your sake. "

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    1. ha. i used to do this. And no, it wasn't about their needs. They were check-ins to test whether i'd get abandoned yet again. They have less to do with lack of empathy than the tunnel vision of a 3 year old. It's hard not to regress.

      "Your needs didn't matter while she was with you.."

      Wrong. I'm thinking exactly of your needs. You are treated like a fucking King, and your needs are considered far beyond what they should. If people weren't so addicted to being treated like royalty, they'd be able to leave me and not look back.

      I am focused like a dog to get you to stay. Do a little fucking research and go buy yourself some sympathy and appreciation.

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  38. What would Jesus doMarch 28, 2013 at 6:43 AM

    Here is a doctor gaining the support of a group of 7 health professionals to kill 7 patients to free up the intensive care beds. Empaths (majority) will lock her up along with the other professionals, while sociopaths will see nothing wrong with her rational mercy killing and possibly enabling much easier treatment for many many patients. What would Jesus do?
    http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/28/world/americas/brazil-doctor-deaths/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

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  39. M.E. wrote:
    "I don't cry myself to sleep about people hurting my feelings or otherwise being insensitive to me."

    Empaths are as strong.

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    1. Are they? Most of the people I know who are easily hurt make illogical, messy decisions based upon temporary feelings of anguish. They freak out for extended periods of time, cry, get depressed, brood, or lash out inappropriately. They allow their emotional wounds to bleed everywhere and dictate their lives. They allow the opinions of others to shape their self-perception. There is nothing focused or directed about their aggression.

      Yes, empathetic individuals can feel deeply concerning the plight of others. But even this is crippling, because those who are deeply emotionally impacted by the strife of others are often unable to provide meaningful, pragmatic support. In my view, profound feelings are over-rated.

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    2. The difference between an empath and a sociopath? They feel it and hide it; silent anguish. We don't feel it at all.

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  40. so you can deal it but you can't take it
    NARCIST

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    Replies
    1. i do not get offended but i do make a game out of getting you back

      Delete
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  43. I'm seeing a lot of sociopaths claiming to be smarter than most normals. While this may or not be true, the real issue is this: sociopaths win at their games more often than normals because they have fewer limits. Any tactic that they feel comfortable getting away with is fair game. For example, if the game is destroying a coworker's job/reputation, a normal would think about working harder, undermining plans, or maybe even starting a bad rumor about the competition. A sociopath might just plant child porn on the rival's computer and then call HR to investigate.
    It's all about limits. Normals are crippled in these games by them. It's what gives the sociopath a clear edge, not intellect.

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    1. People rat out their co workers all the time under the guise of "I just want the best for the company"

      Bullshit :O

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    2. I agree. While I am open minded, I really do not feel that I am particularly smart. I have realized that my success and 'luck' other people harp about is actually due simply to confidence and charm, and I'm not afraid to admit it. I know my strengths and weaknesses, I think to know and accept yourself is a positive thing indeed.

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  44. I have a question about my friend and it is my friend. If it were me, I would say so. She has had a 3 year on and off again relationship with a sociopath. He was edging up on the hurting her physically during sex. The last time, he hurt her so much that she was afraid the next time, he may even hospitalize her. He would not stop hurting her, even though she begged him.

    She pulled away and he did, too. This has been going on for many months. He was angry during this time and never said he was sorry for hurting her. Now, he has come back, super nice. She is starting to feel as if she is in control. I am worried that he is luring her into a trap when he can get her alone and "pay her back" for making him feel vulnerable at the loss of her.

    I am worried for her safety. Any thoughts?

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    1. she is starting to feel as if she is in control of what?

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    2. You're not worried, believe me.

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    3. She is starting to feel as if she has power over him to make him "nice" and behave well because he wants a relationship with her.

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    4. Aren't you a sociopath, Monica?

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    5. Why do you say that, Anon 7:19?

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    6. No not in control, I really don't feel that way, but that i left because he hurt me thats what I think he understands. And I'm not planning on getting back with him, I just gave into a 5 min. talk.

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    7. Aint gonna happen. In fact it's laughable. She must be dreaming. -When regular men want back in, they can't change but for a few months.

      Trick her into going on vacation and leave her in a Trappist monastery to have the monks protect her.

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    8. Because you're too sweet to be true.

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    9. Friend, would you be upset if, say, someone took him off your hands?

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    10. @Anon 7:30 I am very sweet. I have a tender heart but I have a lot wrong with me, too.

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    11. Me too, Monica.

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    12. Awww Anon 7:33
      Do you hide your tender heart so no one will see it?

      Delete
    13. Monica I know your concerned and I know your sweet you've been my sister and friend for a long time and I value your opinion. I guess I met with him out of curiosity and made it very public and short.

      Anon 7:31, I expected him to move on he just hasn't. If he did I would deal with it for whatever reasons and honestly I would not have any way of finding out what the reson would be.

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    14. Friend, i suggest you become friends with a gorgeous, gigantic mal narc and have her gaslight him into a relationship he'll obsess over. It will ruin him and he won't be able to walk, let alone think he's worthy enough of another conversation with you.

      Unless you want him back too. Do you, Friend??? Is there a fire down below?

      Delete
    15. Believe me when I say he has others and keeps himself very busy I'm sure he has more women then he deseves.

      Staying away from him put me through a bad time but thats really less now. He's like a lion in wait.

      Delete


  45. This is really my friend. What scares me is that I think she is in denial.

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    1. in denial abt what?

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    2. Word of advice. If you talk about a "friend" don't claim multiple times that it really is your friend.

      Looks suspicious as fuck.

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    3. 736, do you feel this with people in real life, or just here, among chatty sociopaths and gamers?

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    4. Why are you asking me that?

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    5. @Anon 7:36
      In denial about it being a one time thing but I am going to stay out of it now, as she has told me to. I am here as a friend whenever she needs me, but I need to butt out now.

      Delete
    6. I don't feel your butting in, I understand where your coming from and concerned for my safety, I am too.

      Delete
    7. 741

      It'd be an odd thing to say in real life.

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    8. Monica, for the love of God, will you introduce Friend to other men?


      The best way to get over a man is to get underneath another one.

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    9. ;) Well, Monica ? What do you say?

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    10. Anon 7:54
      Underneath LOL

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    11. Do you ever feel like your getting brainwashed to think Monica is sweet? She tells us - she is sweet.

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    12. No. what is the difference when she's here and posting under "Monica" .

      Idk about any of you, but plenty of people in real life do the same under their real life names, in real life. You tell me, 751: How many people in real life are truly, truly authentically acting sweet with associates, co-workers, and random people we meet at parties?

      I'm not and I do not identify as a sociopath. I am a phony baloney. No one knows how i feel, what i'm thinking, if I genuinely like them. a person who cares about their outward appearance matters more to strangers. People like me and are generous back.

      What IF monica doesn't give a shit about anyone here? Who gives a fuck?

      ME says he/she is confidently going about life generous, very conscious of treatment of strangers, neighbors, conscientiously monitoring behaviour.

      Honestly, she's pleasant under "Monica". How many people in real life authentically are? On the inside.

      Ofc she manipulates. Who here doesn't? Medusa, with her asking all the time "what do you mean, you are being vague" and others who ask question which are very personal "...for research purposes, etc, etc", .

      Delete
    13. With this sweet thing, I remember the day I just turned against myself. I was taught, subliminally, that people were good OR bad. I certainly was not good, so I must be bad. Then, I just threw off all the bad parts of myself and tried to be perfect.

      I think the trick to emotional health is to have all parts accessible to you. That would be sweet, angry, loving, selfish, jealous, petty, judgmental. They are all there anyway. It is just a matter of if you throw them away. Then, you get sick. I did.

      Delete
    14. Anon 9:09
      Yes, people act sweet all the time when they are raging inside.

      But my God you don't tell people that YOU ARE SWEET!........OMG

      Delete
    15. "What's wrong with it?"

      Frankly, you have always been trying to convince others that you're "sweet." It is an ongoing crusade.

      Why?

      Delete
    16. i agree with you, 10:50. if you already act sweet, Monica, you''ve no need to advertise. It's a red flag.

      A shit Mom will do this. She will gas light, telling you what a good Mom she is, when she is anything but. .

      Have you been trying to hypnotize sw Monica?

      Delete
  46. I think if i were in Friend's shoes and i wanted advice , i wouldn't go to someone like me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. no, you know what? i would. I'd go to someone like me. I'd take Friend to places where men would flock around her. If I loved friend, that's what i would do.

      Delete
    2. X O X Anon 8:23

      Delete
  47. Monica & friendsMarch 28, 2013 at 8:34 PM

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    ReplyDelete
  50. I wanted to enlighten them about why these feelings didn't matter and why they shouldn't pay heed to them, but it seemed nearly impossible to do so and they get so offended and defensive when you broach sensitive subjects.

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