Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Soul searching

A reader asks: "How is it that sociopaths can 'see' someone's soul or see people as they truly are? How come the rest of society doesn't see the person for who they really are?" My response:
That is such a good question. I feel that you probably only notice the sociopath's ability to see because it is such an unusual perspective, everybody else's perceptive abilities are so familiar to you that they have become emotional background noise (Von Restorff effect?). As a thought experiment, stop and listen to all of the noise around you. Try to identify the source of all the noise you hear, whether street noise, other people, television, radio, automobile noises, wind, etc. You never pay attention to this noise, never even notice it is there most of the time because you are so used to it. You only notice things that are out of the ordinary.

I think a similar thing happens with empaths reading people. You are probably very used to other empaths seeing things about you that you never told them, e.g. when people see your face and realize that you are sad, when people don't stand too close to you because they realize you need your personal space, when people don't either scream at you or whisper at you. With all these behaviors, other empaths are seeing parts of who you truly are and acting accordingly.

Sociopaths see things that you never told them too, just not always the same things a typical empath would see. First, sociopaths have a very different focus, different expectations about the world and the people in it. While you and everyone else are doing emotional sleight of hand meant to distract the average observer from certain harsh truths, e.g. you no longer love your spouse, or hate your boss, or are having an affair, or can't stand your children, the sociopath remains undistracted. It's like telling a joke to a kid with autism -- your attempts at subterfuge will simply not always have the same effects on a sociopath as they have on empaths. Second, sociopaths are students of human interactions, closely studying others so they can pick up on the right social cues to blend in, imitate normal behavior, etc. The truth is that the more you pay attention to something, the more aware you will be. I am a musician, and I can listen to a recording and tell exactly what is going on, who is playing what, even the way the music was mixed in the studio. You could learn that too, if you practiced as much as a musician does.

I think this is what you are referring to when you say that sociopaths seem to be able to see a person's soul or see people as they truly are. Or maybe it is more of an extraordinary bias in which you honestly don't expect a sociopath to understand anything, so when they do they seem very clever? I don't actually know, these are just my guesses.

118 comments:

  1. M>E> perhaps the best writing you have done.... the telling a joke to a kid with autism point..... bravo

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  2. eh, nice try ME, but there are those of us "empaths" that have been there, done that dance with sociopaths as well as other mind fuck types for soooo long, that we're labeled "gullible" or "ditzy", it's not that at all, really, it is that you've broken us, and there is nothing at at all that we won't believe. we know it is just easier as a whole, to just let the mind fuck flow thru us and then move on than to try to fight or resist it. basically we were once wild horses, who have been forced to be tamed, just because it makes life easier than having to deal with a sociopaths tantrum 24/7. it's really very zen when you think about it. dealing with sociopaths for "aware" empaths is nothing more than chopping wood and carrying water. but the true irony is in the fact that we "the aware ones" have the ability to either carry on or to stop and embrace the drama. thats why yall try to feel so superior, but you know in certain circumstances you don't stand a fucking snowballs chance in hell. it's empaths beating you at your own game, seeing thru your walmart mask that you worked so hard on. sorry honey but that is called life, when ever you think you got the world snowed, theres a bitch like me in leather chaps and no panties tapping your shoulder telling you to shit or get off the fuckin ice.
    but even then, don't take it personally, we still love you, we just refuse to be controlled by you. xoxo muymalgal. :p

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  3. whoopsie, i should slow down on the rose petal and vodka martinis, what i meant to say was "theres a bitch like me in leather chaps and no panties ON THE ZAMBONI MACHINE tapping your shoulder telling you to shit or get off the fuckin ice."
    but you get my point... :p

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  4. I think it really comes down to the point of view from the empath. We're so used to emotional and judgemental feedback from everyone around us. And then someone comes along who is not only perceptive (as many empaths are) but who holds no emotional judgement against you (as many socio's are).

    It is refreshing to be in the presence of one who is so seemingly accepting. We then intrepret this to mean that we are fully known, right down to our soul. It has an intoxicating effect on us, no doubt.

    I imgaine this is why Jesus was so popular.

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  5. It's a matter of respect.

    Think of yourself like a car. Sometimes you rumble, sometimes you rattle, and sometimes you don't work at all. If your owner were an empath, he would respect your feelings and think of these little problems as something he needs to support you through, and let you handle on your own. You feel what you feel, you think what you think. What can he do to help you through it?

    The sociopath sees you as a machine. When you do something out of the ordinary, he checks under the hood. He might even disconnect a couple parts here or there to see how your symptoms change. The bottom line is that he's scrutinizing you to find out what's causing you to do whatever you're doing.

    Alright, now picture these two owners living 20 to 30 years, exhibiting the same behavior, each owning many cars in that time.

    The empath might have fond memories of all his cars, having formed an emotional attachment to their "personalities," but the sociopath will know things about any car he sits in that the empath wouldn't even consider. Furthermore, the sociopath could probably sit down in the empath's car and tell him why it's making the noises it's making, and point out quite a few things the empath owner never noticed. Let's pretend he did that.

    If the sociopath used his native language, he'd sound like a very cold, methodical, uncaring person, since this car is obviously a living, breathing, feeling creature, who shouldn't be analyzed like some kind of machine. So instead, he speaks the empath's language, and translates everything he knows into words descriptive of a personality. It might seem to the empath owner that the sociopath can see into his car's soul, don't you think?

    Of course, we know that cars are just machines. They don't have souls.

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  6. "It might seem to the empath owner that the sociopath can see into his car's soul, don't you think?"

    Well, at the very least, into his carburetor.

    :o)

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  7. Is English not m.e.'s first language or does he have some serious kind of mental disability? This is written like someone used Google to translate an entire Icelandic joke book - although it would have used capital letters and punctuated a little better than this.

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  8. Because a sociopath is unable to use empathy to navigate the social world, he may develop exceptional 'theory of mind'.

    It like a blind person who has acute hearing because he's come to rely on it so much:

    I'm constantly evaluating your position and incentives because I am unable to see the value in a person's feelings or relationships.

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    1. The value is intrinsic. Like when you're lying down relaxing, and someone is gently running their fingers through your hair. The touch on your skin provides pleasant stimuli. Can you grasp that feeling? Extrapolate that to camaraderie, trust, loyalty, the "desire" to help others, & Love. It's the comfort connection of lying in the mother's bosom. Projected & reflected. Does this make any sense? I will have to think this through for a bit to find the words that can capture this concept more concisely.

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    2. How you minimized the word "Love" in your story ~ You respected other words but you put "Love, " in the corner.

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    3. Allowing someone to hold you without looking at what they might want from you is so very precious. You make me cry, Dumpstress.

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    4. Love is All around my friend.

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  9. @ me

    you say you know who is playing what and even how it was mixed

    how it was mixed I think is the relatively easy part, you can hear what is emphasized etc.. knowing who is playing what... I guess in terms of knowing what drives them etc, is i think the more impressive or more difficult thing, to determine from note choice and their tone and touch i guess

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  10. Hmmm. So...
    I believe I am again reading a fairy tale about the so-called magical powers of sociopaths.
    I didn't really read anything substantial that supported the reader's original question.

    Anyone can see the true nature of the other. It doesn't take college nor sociopathy to be able to read people. Observe, listen, analyze.
    You too, can do it in three easy steps.

    Observe, listen, analyze. Oh, and a good attention for fine detail also helps.

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  11. I think observe, listen and analyze works only if it is something that is done not because one wants to, but because that is what one does...

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    1. I'm not sure it is that easy. I have taken several highly intelligent people under my wing and tried teaching them to read other people. While you can teach a smart empath a set or even a book of cues to look for and what they mean, it seems to me that they have trouble catching on to the patterns of causality that drive these cues. They just seem to go with the emotional flow without the endless analyzation that fills my mind. You end up with someone who can tell what emotions a person feels at any given time, but has trouble knowing why without background info. Who knows, maybe the problem is the teacher :b

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  12. Not magical, you're so hung up on the normal anti-m.e. anti-superpower kick (and rightfully so) that you're ignoring basic logic. Going the extra mile for a prolonged period of time has this nasty tendency of making you better at whatever it is you're doing. There's a word for it... something like practice, or learning, or some other fancy jargon.

    Sociopaths are professionals. I love making fun of M.E.'s superpowers, and even I can see that.

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  13. I think they are lonely.

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  14. Why don't you capitalize properly?

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    Replies
    1. Why do you always have to resort to being a grammar nazi when you have nothing to say? If you are out of ideas, shut the fuck up and learn a few new ones you low-functioning motherfucker!! :)

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    2. Now, that's funny!! ;) tee hee hee.

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    3. Why don't you fuck off and die properly?

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  15. No magical powers but being married to a S and having known a few others in my life, it is true that they see you as other don't..they call bullshit, they're non-judgmental and want you talk about things others wouldn't even dare to ask. When my husband calls bs, he's usually right..normal tactics of evasion don't work..but when he's off-target, there's no convincing him otherwise.

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  16. ^^
    so your husband is a sociopath?

    is he a good sociopath?

    how can you marry someone who may or may not love you according to textbook definition of not being able to genuinely feel empathy, romance, etc or are his shallow emotions enough for you?


    how do you know he's a sociopath, he told you? was he clinically diagnosed, self diagnosed? does he have a bad past?

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  17. I've known him a long time and yes, he has a very sordid past. I knew he was a sociopath before he told me that he suspected it. We actually talk about it a lot now. He knows I don't want to change him. I accept his limitations as he accepts mine. Neither of us are perfect but we somehow fit. I don't see sociopathy as black and white as so many on here do. He has so many traits that I respect and admire. He is full of contradicting qualities. He keeps me on toes..i take nothing for granted and that's o.k. with me. I prefer it that way. There is nothing shallow about him or our relationship..it is intense and full of incredible passion. Feeling his love..and yes, he does love, is the most incredible feeling in the world. I need his sort of intensity to stay interested. I'll choose his brand of intensity over "sweet" any day.

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  18. @ blu

    hopefully his sordid past can't be likened to Drew Peterson.

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  19. lol..very insightful statement..go watch some more nancy grace

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  20. i've owned many cars that i've loved in my days, and have very fond memories of...but the minute that bitch starts blowin white smoke from the tail pipes i know it's time to put her on the block. and really, there is no love lost, because i have the faith that someone more qualified than myself can get her back to the way she was intended to be. nothing sociopathic about it...if you love something...set it free....lol

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  21. aspie said: "I think they are lonely."

    I believe it's possible to know that you're missing something or in some way living an unreal life. But since you don't understand what is 'missing' it's not a problem.

    There are many ways to get satisfaction out of the world.

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  22. Anonymous said...
    Why don't you capitalize properly?


    i don't know about m.e. but i find it interrupts the flowwwwwwww

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  23. is feeling lonely a bad thing? isn't everyone lonely at times? or at least anyone who is aware?

    that feeling to me is "regrouping", confirming that i'm still me, alive, and haven't been consumed by whatever outside forces and activites i'm preoccupied with. it's like waking up from some dream state that i've vanished into, a reminder that i've forgotten myself.

    there is comfort in disappearing in the day to day activities, in getting caught up in the momentum of living to the point where you forget you're alive. so to be reminded is a disturbing feeling, because it's both so private and uncontainable. but it's also a bit like coming home.

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  24. M.E. wrote...

    while you and everyone else are doing emotional sleight of hand meant to distract the average observer from certain harsh truths, e.g. you no longer love your spouse, or hate your boss, or are having an affair, or can't stand your children, the sociopath remains undistracted. it's like telling a joke to a kid with autism -- your attempts at subterfuge will simply not always have the same effects on a sociopath as they have on empaths.


    the truth is that the more you pay attention to something, the more aware you will be

    this reminded me of The President’s Speech from The Man who Mistook his Wife for a Hat by Oliver Sacks. an excerpt:

    "Here then was the paradox of the President's speech. We normals - aided, doubtless, by our wish to be fooled, were indeed well and truly fooled ('Populus vult decipi, ergo decipiatur'). And so cunningly was deceptive word-use combined with deceptive tone, that only the brain-damaged remained intact, undeceived."

    i wonder if in addition to paying attention, the sociopath has the ability to pay attention to and analyze separately word use and tone, whereas others analyze the information as a whole?

    i’m almost aphasiac when talking to people face to face and always pick up on the evocative signals but have to struggle to stay focused and not tune out the content that gets lost in the flood of all the other stuff.

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  25. Not capitalizing also saves the effort/energy however many reaches for the shift key would have required. The energy thus flows and is conserved.

    What is the deal with using the circumflex in various configurations? Seems to occur during a reading with direction twist or just read, I don't know. There is the two one that looks like horns and one that could be halo or something lol.

    Does anyone know the name of this song.. I don't know the lyrics just the melody. It sounds like he is saying "let it go, let it go".

    It goes

    da (girl?)
    da da da da da daa da da da
    ""
    da da da da da let it go (flow, grow?), let it go

    It something you might have heard on a hot 100 station maybe 6 months ago. Thanks for any help.

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  26. Not Magical said...

    I believe I am again reading a fairy tale about the so-called magical powers of sociopaths.



    m.e. wrote:

    or maybe it is more of an extraordinarity* bias in which you honestly don't expect a sociopath to understand anything, so when* they do they seem very clever? i don't actually know, these are just my guesses.


    [*extraordinary, *then]

    Perhaps if ME started writing more coherently, the readers lacking reading comprehension would understand better, or be more inclined to read the entire post.

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  27. blu

    Nancy Grace? Uh, I don't think I'm interested in watching your tv playlist. Like it or not, Peterson is a sociopath. Deal.

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  28. He probably is..not the issue..the issue is people like you who assume all sociopaths are ted bundy types that kill and maim..most are walking among us..many are very successful and likeable..the black and white categorization of human nature is bothersome and shows little insight.. demonizing sociopaths as spooky killers shows little understanding of how diverse this group of people can be..(have you read any of the posts on here?) ..its like saying all drug addicts are on the street, robbing and prostituting for their next fix..in fact, that represents a small fraction of addicts..most function in society and live next door.

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  29. ishtar said...
    Perhaps if ME started writing more coherently, the readers lacking reading comprehension would understand better, or be more inclined to read the entire post.


    i read it a couple of times without seeing any errors.. interesting.

    i wonder if some people's minds work to fill in the blanks and create meaning when information is inconsistent? it's faster than processing every little detail. the disadvantage is you are susceptible to misinterpreting information since you draw from past experiences and personal biases.

    "when" still seems correct to me.

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  30. @ blu

    the issue is people like you who assume all sociopaths are ted bundy types that kill and maim..

    Really? Do tell? Not all sociopaths are psycho killers? I would've never guessed. Asking if I've read posts on here? Uh yeah actually I have. And the issue isn't 'people like me'. The issue is people like YOU who are dumba$$e$. Not all are but SOME are. You made mention of his 'issues' not me, so again ..deal.

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  31. I googled "extraordinarity," Ishtar. I don't think it means what you think it means.

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  32. It was you who equated sociopathy with Drew Peterson..pure ignorance..nuf said

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  33. @ blu

    Ah I see, nuf said cause you say so? I didn't equate all sociopaths with Drew Peterson. You made that inference but ya missed. Again, deal.

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  34. aspie said...
    that's not it zoe


    sorry aspie, i know! that song popped into my head when i read your post, so i posted it.

    what is the genre of the song you are looking for? is the vocalist male? can you remember any other words?

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  35. aspie said...
    I think observe, listen and analyze works only if it is something that is done not because one wants to, but because that is what one does...


    i agree

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  36. hi zoe

    i heard it maybe once while in a store with a lot of other noise

    vocalist is male, possibly african american, there may even be some rapping, genre i think is pop/r&b, you would probably hear it on a station that plays rihanna songs

    it's kinda drummy, the beat i think is:

    dum, dum, d-dum, dap,
    d-dum, dum, d-dum, dap

    I think these are kind of the notes:

    E
    A-EEEE, G,A-E
    A-EEEE, G,A-E D
    G-DDDD G-F-E-F
    (let if go)
    E-D-CC-B
    (let it go)

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  37. I googled "extraordinarity," Ishtar. I don't think it means what you think it means.

    I didn't claim to know what it meant, I used it's corresponding adjective instead of the folk psychology term, though neither are reducible to anything tangible.

    I find it interesting that those who claim they are skeptical of psychology continue to rely on it's terms as part of their argument.

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  38. that's not it zoe but it's kind of in the ballpark, it's a little more urban sounding .... thanks for trying to find it

    im gonna look myself again

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  39. M.E said...

    or maybe it is more of an extraordinarity bias in which you honestly don't expect a sociopath to understand anything, so when they do they seem very clever? i don't actually know, these are just my guesses.

    is that a good example of an extraordinarity bias?

    does anyone think a sociopath or for that matter anyone does not understand anything?

    i think it is surprising for many how knowing an S type may be mainly because they don't understand it because they are trying to

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  40. Anonymous:

    Why are you so obsessive about M.E's spelling & punctuation. He made his point, isnt that what counts. I think maybe you'd enjoy a blog dedicated to Obsessive/Compulsives who are obsessed with punctuation.

    Peter Pan:
    Love the car example, made sense to me!

    Great post, M.E. Interesting insights.

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  41. wow,seems like a lot of jabs went into the comments on this post. why do people get so upset? who cares about spelling and grammar or whatever?

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  42. aspie said...
    that's not it zoe but it's kind of in the ballpark, it's a little more urban sounding .... thanks for trying to find it


    oh too bad. good luck with the search.

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  43. Blu

    I'm curious because I often thing my sociopath would be perfect for me if I could figure out how to control myself from getting too close to his fire. But the one thing I don't think I could get over is the sexual trangressions. I'm not at all a jealous person, and have often romantizied pologamy, but I am a germaphobe and STDs freak me out. I make him wear a condom most of the time but we like to party, and it doesn't always happen....

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  44. thats a creepy picture

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  45. I wonder about the perception of the sociopath, too. They seem to see below the masks that we all must wear as social creatures. It is fine to have a mask and needed. The problem is when you cannot take off the mask, even in private moments. There was a Twilight Zone episode about this. They were at a masked ball and when midnight hit to pull off the masks, they were stuck on. I feel that my mask is stuck on and that is a big source of my angst. I am afraid of what is underneath. I can't face it myself. I am not a sociopath, for people who are new. My mother is a malignant narcissist and my reality was layers and layers of masks.

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    1. Monica what is your PD ?

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    2. I don't know. I know I am disassociated. I have narcissism, but not mal narc. I would say co-dependent.

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    3. My mother erased me so young.

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    4. Monica you are a covert narcissist. I've been observing you for more than a year and as a psychiatrist myself I can say it with absolute certitude.

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    5. a covert narcissist is someone who did not grow up with unconditional love?

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    6. How do you fix that, aside from finding a way to love yourself? How can you do it if you were not taught how? Why not a person just devoid of feeling worthiness/acceptability? How is this narcissism? There is no self, no nothing. It's a blank slate. Why is this nothingness narcissism ?

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    7. it is a starving baby bird with nothing from the mama bird, left to die.

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    8. with wide open beak, motionless.

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    9. Beautifully put. I don't accept that this nothingness is narcissism. I've been trying to figure myself out as well. Empath but with a couple of psychopath traits: easily bored and core emptiness (not to same extent as the P but it's there). Not being properly mothered as an infant has huge ramifications for us as adults.

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    10. You must be bored out of your skull to actually sit and study Monica.

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    11. I don't accept it as narcissism either, Godiva. I accept it as a very specific void I am learning how to fill with truth.

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  46. AnonymousMarch 12, 2013 at 6:32 AM

    Monica you are a covert narcissist. I've been observing you for more than a year and as a psychiatrist myself I can say it with absolute certitude.

    Please explain.

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  47. What Is A Covert Narcissist?

    Undoubtedly the most damaging form of Narcissistic Personality Disorder is covert narcissism. Covert narcissists can seem highly defensive and extremely hostile whilst masking beneath their facade an insecure sense of emotional vulnerability, a vulnerability they will do anything to prevent exposing. Although a covert narcissist generally possesses the same traits as an overt narcissist (need for attention, approval, adulation and grandiose fantasies) these are not commonly expressed in overt behavior making covert or stealth narcissists much more difficult to recognize. Some people go decades before recognizing the narcissist in their life.

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    1. Well, Monica. I usually tell my covert narcissists patients that they're doomed for life, both to ruin them emotionally and to avoid all further contacts with those monsters.

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    2. "an insecure sense of emotional vulnerability, a vulnerability they will do anything to prevent exposing. "

      I dont know why anyone would be remotely interested in exposing their emotional vulnerabilities with strangers. when you get close, very close to a trustworthy person, one can do it. And they must be still, not asking for anything.

      What good will any obtained approval do ? Approval is not love, is not acceptance, is not personal power. Personal power is loving the self.

      How can you love yourself if you never knew how?

      SO... this person is constantly in need of love that they cannot supply for themselves? And they search their whole life for other people for this love, which they cannot keep inside? It is never enough love? So they are constantly draining the love in the room in the form of approval, which doesn't quite cut it?

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    3. Well, Monica. I usually tell my covert narcissists patients that they're doomed for life, both to ruin them emotionally and to avoid all further contacts with those monsters.

      You sound like a terrific psychiatrist! Where's your practice?

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    4. AnonymousMarch 12, 2013 at 7:23 AM

      "an insecure sense of emotional vulnerability, a vulnerability they will do anything to prevent exposing. "

      I dont know why anyone would be remotely interested in exposing their emotional vulnerabilities with strangers. when you get close, very close to a trustworthy person, one can do it. And they must be still, not asking for anything.

      What good will any obtained approval do ? Approval is not love, is not acceptance, is not personal power. Personal power is loving the self.

      How can you love yourself if you never knew how?

      SO... this person is constantly in need of love that they cannot supply for themselves? And they search their whole life for other people for this love, which they cannot keep inside? It is never enough love? So they are constantly draining the love in the room in the form of approval, which doesn't quite cut it?

      That is a very good answer, Doc and a well thought out one. That would be the answer that someone who had the group think of an organization would have. I, however, have had to go outside of conventional parameters to find healing, as conventional ones, such as yourself if you are a shrink, failed me. I had to make my own program of healing, which I have been doing.

      Why did I expose my vulnerabilities to strangers? Because I had to face them. Because I had to get them out of me. Because I had to expose the shame of them. Because people here do not BS like people in your profession do. Because we are only as sick as the secrets we keep. Because truth is love.

      Now, I have a question for you. Are you up to the caliber of the Fomentiles?

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    5. I have no idea.

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    6. And i am not a shrink.

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    7. Inverted Narcissist

      Also called "covert narcissist", this is a co-dependent who depends exclusively on narcissists (narcissist-co-dependent). If you are living with a narcissist, have a relationship with one, if you are married to one, if you are working with a narcissist, etc. – it does NOT mean that you are an inverted narcissist.

      To "qualify" as an inverted narcissist, you must CRAVE to be in a relationship with a narcissist, regardless of any abuse inflicted on you by him/her. You must ACTIVELY seek relationships with narcissists and ONLY with narcissists, no matter what your (bitter and traumatic) past experience has been. You must feel EMPTY and UNHAPPY in relationships with ANY OTHER kind of person. Only then, and if you satisfy the other diagnostic criteria of a Dependent Personality Disorder, can you be safely labelled an "inverted narcissist".

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    8. Rings any bells, Monica?

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    9. If you grew up with a Mal Nac mother, you are going to have things wrong with you. There is no way around that. The way to deal with it and hopefully ameliorate it, is to face it. That is one of the things I try to do here. I don't think a true NPD would admit his flaws or be able to laugh at himself, both of which I do. Do I have damage? Yes. Am I damaged? Yes. How do I deal with it? Try to face it.

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    10. You crave to be with people more competent, who you look up to? You crave to be with people you admire, hoping they can help you or save you but you need to learn to help yourself?

      This is dependant, not codependant? Or, if you serve the narcissists' needs as their pet/prize/token/plaything, or source for their self esteem, then you are codependant as well?

      I know learned helplessness very well.

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    11. narcissists are very sure of themselves. They are the opposite of me. If I am validated by them , then they are sure of me. THis makes me dependent on them for approval/acceptance.

      I go out of my way to let them lead because it is what they want, and i am perfectly willing to do that to make them happy.

      They are controlling people and i do not mind letting them drive. Not in the least.

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    12. Anon 8:41

      Since you are diagnosing, could you explain why monica is so alert, focused and quite humorous with Medusa, Zoe, and etc. but with others she is foggy, childish, evil, and is quite the con.

      There are two orchestrated personalities going on here. It's quite obvious to all. What is her agenda? Why does it bring her such joy to make fools of others?

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    13. But I do not like to be controlled. I do not understand this.

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    14. She admires people with confidence and strong personalities. She is wanting to be next to them so they rub on her ? She wants to entertain them. She wants them to want to be around her.

      The others, they are authority figures, She is rebellious, acting angry and helpless, but resenting their authority, nonetheless. so she sticks it to them good.

      Htf should I know ?

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    15. Anon 9:05
      You didn't address the conning aspect.

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    16. you mean the making them feel secure and then fooling them, cutting their legs off the next time?

      She will not be put into a box as anyone's plaything also? She is a tease, trying to get them to catch her if they can, and it's fun?

      Delete
    17. Anon 9:08

      Actors are con men and con men are actors.

      Delete
    18. She won't admit weaknesses? She pretends to be secure, but she's just a cunt, wanting to confuse?

      Delete
    19. Anon 9:14

      It reads like a psychopath

      Delete
    20. Histrionic as well? They're con men?

      Delete
    21. shhhhhutthefrontdoor

      Delete
    22. Is she getting the claw hammer?

      Delete
    23. I just read that dependents are highly suggestible. Go fuck yourself, 9:19.

      Delete
    24. I have independent things to do at the mo. Later.

      Delete
    25. 9:28

      Take your time - not returning. The story is too old.......

      Delete
    26. that's too bad. I had to go. I don't know whose story you're referring to, but mine is new to me, so..

      I'm only just getting to know myself. I hope to be loving me some me some time soon, too.

      Even if it seems so irrelevant and will seem trite to you, I wish you peace.







      Delete
    27. Anon 2:51
      They were not dissing you. They were dissing me. your story is not irrelevant!

      Delete


    28. How do you know when people are playing or being real here, Monica?

      Do you know? Because I don't.

      Delete
    29. You don't know but in time, you will find people you can trust, as they are here.

      Delete
    30. Trust - UKan

      Delete
  48. OK but how and why do you say I am one, using examples. You must have them, if you have come to this conclusion.

    ReplyDelete
  49. I like ME’s, Peter Pan’s and Harry Lime’s explanations.

    I’d only add that this analysis becomes almost instinctual by the time you reach adulthood. To use PP’s car analogy, it’s like learning how to drive. All of your movements as a new driver are conscious and therefore awkward. But after a while, everything that goes into becoming a decent driver becomes instinctive and automatic. That’s how it eventually is with reading people and social situations.

    Only, I suspect you have to learn how to read people using “bloodless rationality” as your default mode in childhood, so that by the time you’re in your late adolescence, it becomes second nature.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello there, Daniel. It's nice to see you commenting again. QM

      Delete
  50. It's because the first thing we do when we see a person is to analyze them. Look through all the bullshit to find what we can use to manipulate them and further our wants.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't believe you manipulate as well as you say you do.

      Delete
    2. I could care less about what you believe

      Delete
    3. How did you know you were a psychopath?

      Delete
    4. From a highly reliable individual who considered every option and spent a long time analyzing my behavior

      Delete
  51. The comments of abelrising just about explain it all....

    http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2013/03/11/sociopaths-the-giant-skeleton-in-humanitys-closet/comment-page-1/#comments



    Isis

    ReplyDelete
  52. @blu

    What characteristics does your husband have that suggest he is a psychopath?

    I don't believe they are that great at reading people as they are too negative and are incapable of seeing the good in people, always imgaining the worst possible motives and can't believe that two individuals could love each other, pure and simple.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Very good answer. I really enjoyed it, very thoughtful and thought-provoking.

    ReplyDelete
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